Tamara Lyalenkova:

Evgeny Bunimovich:

Vania:

Then no.

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Sofia Rosenblum:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Oleg Khukhlaev:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Vladimir Orlov: Was.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Schoolgirl:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Vladimir Orlov:

Pupils:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Vladimir Orlov: They have a sense of impasse.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tsisana Shamlikashvili:

Vladimir Orlov:

Tamara Lyalenkova:

Class hour, 05/27/2012
Host Tamara Lyalenkova

Tamara Lyalenkova: This week the last bell rang, and for all schoolchildren, except for graduates of the middle and senior levels, the long-awaited time of summer idleness has come, the longest, by the way, in Europe.
How the school year went, and what prospects open up in the future, we will discuss, despite the proximity of exams, with both of them - I visited Moscow gymnasium No. 1540. This gymnasium, like almost every gymnasium, has its own characteristics - 1540, as they say, with an ethnic, Jewish component, although children of various nationalities study in it, moreover, the educational institution has a technological bias. About favorite and not favorite subjects, about friendship, school democracy and career guidance, today we will talk with the guys - students of the 8th and 11th grades. We will also attend a Hebrew lesson in the 5th grade.
But first, the heading “Applicant-2012”, traditional for this spring. This time, the master's program "Archaeology of the North Pacific", which will open in the new academic year at the Far Eastern Federal University, will be presented by one of its authors - Head of the Department of World History, Archeology and Anthropology Nikolai Kradin.

Nikolai Kradin: This is a master's program, it is designed for two years. Actually, the main goal of this program is to train specialists in the field of regional archeology, to try to show how the processes of integration of the territory of the Russian Far East have taken place since ancient times. Because, by and large, in general, the Far East is not really, probably, even the right word, because the far one was once upon a time. In our Far East, the term Pacific Russia is even more popular now. And the processes of integration and cultural contacts have been going on since ancient times. In fact, the process of settling America, in fact, passed through Northeast Asia and through the Far East. There were very interesting archaeological cultures here, a lot of peculiar cultural processes. And the Middle Ages - this, one might say, is our golden picture, two large states existed on the territory of the Far East - the state of Bahai (?) in the 7-10th century and a little later - the empire of Jugeni (?), the so-called Golden Empire of Dzu (?) .

Tamara Lyalenkova: It's a joint program, right? Why? Wouldn't they be able to do it themselves, or is it of fundamental importance?

Nikolai Kradin: They would have done it themselves. Of course, we do not, in general, speak English like native speakers, Americans and British, but it is very important that scientists from different scientific schools participate in the educational process. In general, we have our own narrow archeology, our own scientific school, but for students, it seems to me that the interaction of international schools is very important for the development of science. Therefore, we initially took such a step that foreign professors also participated in teaching. And in general, we ourselves are interested in it. And I think that this will give a greater impetus to the development of archaeological science in our region.

Tamara Lyalenkova: Nikolai Nikolaevich, tell us a little more about the program.

Nikolai Kradin: The program is actually ready, now the process of legal registration of the standard is underway. The point is that, according to our Russian legislation, a federal university has the right to set its own standards, its own educational programs, so we are preparing such a program. In general, there is a fairly standard structure for master's programs, there are courses required for reading, there are optional ones. In principle, we did not deviate from this traditional system. Among the compulsory, general courses, we have a subject called "How to write a dissertation." As part of this course, our undergraduates will get a more in-depth understanding of what a master's thesis is, how it is written. Courses are mainly of two types: the first - theoretical courses, which are associated with various conceptual issues of archaeological science, and there are practical courses that are devoted either to a particular chronological period, or, again, to certain cultures. Well, for example, we have such a course as the archeology of Bahai or Jugeni. There is a course - settling in the Paleolithic era. There is such a course as the archeology of nomadic empires - this course is dedicated to the ancient nomadic empires that existed in Central Asia. This, of course, is not entirely our region, but the fact is that contacts with the steppe existed from ancient times, and this interaction gave contacts with the countries of Central Asia, even in fact with Europe.

Tamara Lyalenkova: How do you suppose who will come to you, from what programs and from what bachelor's degree?

Nikolai Kradin: First of all, these are historians, and, in fact, it is designed for historians who specialize in archeology. Now we have such a profile - archeology - within the framework of the bachelor's degree. In addition, we, of course, focus on anthropologists. And, of course, culturologists, because many culturologists are engaged in similar things. There is a course called "Archaeological Management", which is connected with the security work carried out by archaeologists. All over the world, and in our country as well, the biggest amount of money that goes into archeology goes to security work.

Tamara Lyalenkova: It was the head of the department of general history, archeology and anthropology, Nikolai Kradin. He talked about the master's program "Archaeology of the North Pacific", which opens in the new academic year at the Far Eastern Federal University.
And we are returning to Moscow, to gymnasium No. 1540, in the 11th grade.

Hello! Class hour, 06/03/2012
Host Tamara Lyalenkova

Tamara Lyalenkova: Last Friday, as usual on June 1, we celebrated International Children's Day - as best we could. In Moscow, the State Duma discussed the safety of the Internet space, in Syktyvkar the action “Help a child injured in an accident” started, and in Kazakhstan, the mayor of Almaty personally congratulated children on the holiday. I'm not talking about the stroller parade in Barnaul, Kazan and Bryansk, the crawler championship in Tomsk and the sweet house on Palace Square in St. Petersburg, the construction of which took more than 30 kilograms of chocolate.
However, today we will talk about more serious things in the "Freedom Classroom" - about school socialization, about how to defend your own rights without infringing on the rights of others. Experts on this issue will be: psychologists Vladimir Orlov, Oleg Khukhlaev, Sofya Rozemblyum, President of the National Organization of Mediators Tsisana Shamlikashvili, Ombudsman for Children's Rights of Moscow Evgeny Bunimovich and Moscow schoolchildren.

Evgeny Bunimovich: I am convinced that the main problem of today's school, today's education is the problem of "me and the other." Moreover, “I and the other”, especially in Moscow, here we are talking not only about those who are different in language or religion, or in something else, but different - because he has some kind of illness or, conversely, because which is pretty smart. And the basic problem, perhaps from which all the rest grow, is different, because his parents have different financial opportunities. These economic scissors, financial, which are present today in the incomes of Moscow families, show, according to their own statements, according to our sociological research, that this is the most painful problem.
Every time I look at deep, serious research on this subject, I always find some new aspect for myself. For example, I can say that it was a discovery for me that in one of the studies I found that migrant children in our schools are often not the worst, but the best students. Because they do not live in the most prosperous areas, the local population, the guys there are also not the most prosperous. And it often happens that for this family, who came from somewhere from Vietnam, for example, the education of a child becomes a key moment in their overall socialization. And therefore, although it seems to us that they have the most difficulties, it often happens exactly the opposite. Precisely because both he and the family are almost religious to the school, and the child becomes, on the contrary, one of the best students, and not the worst. That is, problems are not at all where we often see them. Although, of course, there are also reverse situations, and by the way, it is possible to conduct a study from the point of view of the national composition, it is interesting - where which children come from and how they relate to school.

Recently, at a meeting with schoolchildren, I was asked the following question: what should I do if I walk around the school, there are five guys standing there, and they speak their own language? I said that, of course, there are five of them, and it is normal that they speak their own language, but when you approach them, then from the point of view of ethics, normal human ethics, they should switch to the language that everyone speaks . And these are serious questions that seem very small to us, well, just think, you passed by in the corridor, these are not the cases that the commissions on juvenile affairs deal with. But this is the atmosphere of the school, on which everything is based.

Vania:
- The fight began with the fact that they began to call me names and beat me. Cyril began to protect me. At first, he tried to pull Petya away so that he would not beat me. Then he nevertheless drove Petya away, and Sema entered the matter. Kirill started beating Sema to protect me, and then Sema knocked Kirill to the ground and started beating him. After that, Kirill escaped, but Sema grabbed him and pushed him onto the bench and already put him on the temple.

I don’t know how Vanya beat me, but Kirill definitely wanted me ...

Did I beat Petya? Petya is almost not to blame, but Sema is to a greater extent to blame!

What did I do? I didn't know that Petya was the first to start. I thought that it was you who started, so I began to intercede for him.

They should probably be punished somehow, but why not put them in jail? I'm talking about the fact that they can not be in jail. Still, they study well and almost the best students.

You called me a trio!

Vanya, and if a person studied poorly, then he would not feel sorry for him in prison?

Well, no, why. Be that as it may, the school would have lost its image. And so it is impossible to figure out which of you is to blame. Most likely, both of you are guilty, but different punishments are needed.

Vanya, you know, a person sometimes makes mistakes and sometimes he is very worried about his mistakes. Should this also be punished?

Then no.

This is what I wanted to talk about. Sema, you stood up out of the best of intentions, but you clearly exceeded the measure of permissible defense. Responsibility for their actions is very high.

I agree. But Sema is a man, and a man cannot be sinless. There has to be some way to reduce the punishment.

But there should be a punishment, don't you think?

Certainly! After all, without punishment, it's absolutely unfair!

Tamara Lyalenkova: The discussion of crime and punishment, in which, in addition to fifth graders, school psychologists and teachers took part, lasted more than an hour. As a result, a behavior strategy was developed for all participants in the conflict, which will allow them to continue to exist more or less peacefully in one space. But this is an example, when all the children were given a chance to speak, they sympathized and led them to the decision to change something in their behavior, rather an exception to the life of a Russian school than a rule.
We continue to discuss the problems of school socialization. According to experts, what is called the national question has become the most difficult in this area today.
The Moscow State Psychological and Pedagogical University recently hosted a round table "Technologies for preventing xenophobia and national extremism in the educational environment."
Sophia Rozemblyum, head of the psychological service of gymnasium No. 1540, proposed her algorithm of action, which will help to include migrant children in a new environment for them.

Sofia Rosenblum: Our gymnasium has quite a lot of experience in working with autistic children and in general with children who require a special approach. quite successfully solved precisely in line with the experience that already existed. And it seems to me that, in fact, only an inclusive approach is productive here.

There is a special child, no matter what - with health problems or a migrant child. And there is an external environment - there is a wall between them. The philosophy of the inclusive state is that both the child and the environment change towards each other. This is a very important point. But the school itself must somehow change, all our habitual models must undergo changes in order for the puzzle to take shape.
That is, the problems of an autistic child and a migrant child are somewhat similar, although there are, of course, differences. Just as with an autistic child, the teacher does not understand how everything works for him, why he manifests himself this way, and just as exactly the teacher does not understand why a child who has come from somewhere behaves this way. Many things, many manifestations of the normal behavior of a migrant child are simply manifestations of bad manners for the teacher. And, accordingly, teachers react in this way - as if they were ill-bred children. Therefore, the experience of teaching autistic children can be applied here. We are not talking now about psychological assistance, because the mechanisms for the emergence of the problem are different, but pedagogically, the reaction of teachers - there is much in common here. Therefore, if we are talking about inclusive education, then we must treat a special child as a child who has experienced psychological trauma. That is: he has a change in his former conditions of life, a break in his former ties. We often meet with the fact that the parents moved to Moscow, but the child did not want any of this. Accordingly, he includes the entire protest arsenal that is available to him.
Therefore, when a child enters school, the preliminary stage is a discussion with parents of all problems. If this is an inclusive education, we have the opportunity to see each child, and then we discuss with both parents and children how we will interact most effectively in order to help the child. Because if a child is in a general situation, then it turns out that general rules should apply to him, and this is impossible.

Tamara Lyalenkova: Indeed, every “other” child does not just drop out of the class team, he is simply pushed out by them, and in a rather cruel way. Why? Moscow schoolchildren themselves tried to answer this question.

There is a girl in my class - very smart, but her psyche is not quite normal. That is, she can get upset because of some "troika" and run away from school. And all the teachers treat her a little more favorably than they treat us. Let's say they won't scold her a lot if she cries in class. She gets one "five". And many children for the fact that they set her as an example, her backpack, for example, was thrown out the window, pushed all the time, beaten. This girl could not stand it and left.

When I was in my last school, there was a girl in our class who was bullied by everyone. In the end, the girl could not stand it and left. Then I moved to the school where I study now, and found out that she would again be my classmate. And when I began to study together with her again, I saw that completely different people behave towards her in exactly the same way. She is not evil, not nasty, and it is not clear why they cling to her. I've always wondered how people choose. When the crowd does something intuitively, you can't argue against it. In fact, probably the maximum that a person who is being ostracized can do is to try to be more calm about this. But I'm not sure that if everyone rotted me like that, I would have scored so easily.

Tamara Lyalenkova: On the one hand, a pronounced individuality is good, on the other hand, it is safer to mimic, to merge with the majority. The roots of xenophobia, says Oleg Khukhlaev, head of the Department of Ethnopsychology and Psychological Problems of the Moscow State Pedagogical Institute, lie in the attitude towards “our own”.

Oleg Khukhlaev: Traditionally, we can talk about the importance of nationality, it is reflected in relation to others in two formats - in the form of a positive attitude towards one's people with a neutral or positive attitude towards others, which we traditionally call patriotism in a good sense, meaning not so much military patriotism, like marching and so on, the speed of assembly and disassembly of the Kalashnikov assault rifle, but rather, it is civic patriotism, love for one's country, the desire to do something for it, to invest something. And the second aspect is hostility to others, to strangers, what we traditionally call nationalism. These are two main roads, between which, however, there is a fork, and which are directed in different directions, although, in fact, they have very similar bases under them, so it’s easy enough to confuse them.
If we look at how this is reflected in the minds of real Moscow schoolchildren, then we will see three pictures or three such types, according to a combination of patriotic and nationalist attitudes. The leftmost picture is the so-called undecided. These are guys who have a balance - they also have a lot of patriotic attitudes, this topic, in fact, is now quite fashionable and important for our guys, especially when compared with what it was 10 or 15 years ago. At the same time, they simultaneously have quite a lot of nationalist attitudes. And such is the balance, which rises in one direction, then in the other. A little more in the direction of patriotism, but not much. The second group, tentatively called "patriots", are those guys who have a predominantly positive attitude towards their own, and a negative attitude towards strangers is much lower. And, finally, the third group, conventionally called "nationalists", not in the police sense, but precisely because their dislike for others is higher than their love and positive attitude towards their people. Now let's see how it decomposes quantitatively. According to our data, the largest number of modern Moscow schoolchildren, the vast majority, 60-70 percent, according to various studies, no matter what the figure is, but in any case it will be more than half, these are the so-called undecided. There are quite a lot of patriots, nationalists, thank God, not so many in comparison with everyone else. And, accordingly, the most important, the most important object for us - these undecided. Because it is they, it is their point of view that gives the nationalists grounds to proceed to some kind of action or, nevertheless, being afraid of the opinion of the majority, to stay aside with their opinion and not to implement it into some active things.
Accordingly, the key task of preventing xenophobia and extremism is to help these undecided people decide in the right direction, that is, in the direction of increasing the importance of patriotic attitudes and reducing the importance of nationalist attitudes. Now, having set a goal, set a task, let's try to see how to solve this problem. Yes, important, significant, good and right - holidays, festivals, national cuisine, customs and traditions, necessary, beautiful and interesting. But the question arises: is this a guarantee of a solution to the problem? Will this help us significantly reduce nationalist attitudes and increase patriotic ones? Big question. What about active frontal opposition to the problem? Will we be able to counteract racism and xenophobia only through frontal counteraction, albeit quite original and interesting? The obvious answer is no, wrestling cannot be the basis of everyday life.

Tamara Lyalenkova: Let's talk about the rights that are most often violated at school, and not only students.
International Children's Day, like March 8, like May Day, is a formal reason to remember that some social categories have not only duties, but also rights. In the case of children, not only compulsory secondary education and obedience until the age of sixteen, but the right to freedom of opinion and religion, as well as protection from physical and psychological abuse. Another thing is that the children themselves do not understand well how these rights can be realized, and they try to cope on their own. Like this, theoretically.

If we talk about the crowd and the person in front of the crowd, in fact, for me the obvious solution is to gather a few people and go not to those who are joking, but to the person who is joking. It seems to me that at such a moment for a person the most important thing is some kind of support. If it so happened that he is autistic, it seems to me that you just need to draw him into some kind of party.

We tried to communicate with that girl, protect, be friends, but she, on the contrary, somehow moved away and believed that we were also mocking her. It seems to me that people who have been bullied for a very long time already find it difficult to accept someone's help.

Mostly people bully a person because of how that person behaved in class before. It depends on the crowd, and on the class.

Tamara Lyalenkova: This is how Moscow high school students think about the problems of school socialization.
I asked my next question to an expert in conflictology, associate professor of the Department of Theoretical Foundations of Social Psychology, Moscow State University of Psychology and Education, Vladimir Orlov: how many conflict situations arise in today's school?

Vladimir Orlov: I think that in connection with the processes that are taking place in our society, all contradictions are reflected in the school. And the school, in my opinion, does not have enough funds to resolve these contradictions. And contradictions become the basis of confrontation, conflicts, acute negative experiences. Those institutions that work within the school, in my opinion, are not yet effective enough. I would say that they are passing against the situation that is developing.

Tamara Lyalenkova: The school has a fairly strict hierarchy, traditional.

Vladimir Orlov: Was.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: The fact is that we are losing the greatest value - the ability to communicate.

Tamara Lyalenkova: Tsisana Shamlikashvili, scientific director of the Center for Mediation and Law, author of the School Mediation course, joined the conversation.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: And this happens in adult society. When there is some displeasure or complaint, what is the first thing a citizen does? He writes to the President, the Attorney General, and anyone else he can. School mediation is not just a way to resolve conflicts, it is the involvement of the entire structure. After all, everyone around is involved in the educational process.

Vladimir Orlov: They are now called the subjects of the educational process, that is, they, the figures, are a child, a teacher, an administration, a parent, and the fifth is considered a psychologist.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: Which is on the territory of the school, and a social teacher.

Tamara Lyalenkova: As a rule, they are, but this does not eliminate the problems. Why?

Vladimir Orlov: First, it has long been known that more than 80 percent of conflicts are related to misunderstanding of each other. A very unfortunate fact. Somewhere 6-7 years ago there was a serious study that clearly showed that the school lacks the creation of a communicative environment. There people are separated from each other, distanced. And everyone is doing their own thing, good or bad. There are no communication links, no team, no understanding of common goals, and everyone gets out as best they can. This is a very serious problem.

Tamara Lyalenkova: That is, it is impossible to resolve a conflict in an environment where it is impossible to talk about it.

Vladimir Orlov: I am engaged in psychological service, and a psychologist in a modern school, unfortunately, is the only warrior in the field.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: On the one hand, he is the only warrior in the field, and he does not always have the necessary tools. Most often, a psychologist can state the problem, he can identify and state it, but go further ... Why do we say that ideally, of course, at least a few teachers on the school grounds should master the method of school mediation. Of course, a school psychologist, of course, a social pedagogue. The school administration should at least understand the essence of this method. And what is very important, what is provided for in our program, is also the involvement of the children themselves in this work, that is, the creation of equal groups, where the children themselves become, on the one hand, mediators, where they spread among their peers, one might say, the idea, philosophy communication.

Tamara Lyalenkova: What are you doing, what is mediation in practice?

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: First of all, it is communication based on respect for value. It is about being able to tell in a fairly open, trusting environment. At the very beginning, it sounded that 80 percent of conflicts, indeed, come from misunderstanding, from misunderstandings, from the fact that at some point the ability to communicate is generally violated. And this is where the situation arises when we give people the opportunity to be heard. They often try to tell us: and, therefore, this is a conflict-free interaction. In no case! There can be no conflict-free interaction. Even if it exists, it is, as they say, a dead interaction that does not give birth to anything. Because contradictions, disagreements - they just lead us to the fact that we develop, so that something evolves. Another thing is how to live with these disagreements, how to deal with them, how to communicate with your opponent. This is the most important thing. Talking to children is very important.

Schoolgirl:

I'm in the middle of an argument with my geometry teacher. We have a system at school in such a way that you can move from one group to another in each subject, and I really wanted to move. I decided that they would not turn to their parents for help. I have a classmate who decided that the teacher just needed to be rude so that she would kick him out to another group, which he did. And I have to negotiate with this teacher so that she somehow let me go herself.

Tamara Lyalenkova: Conflicts with teachers are common in middle and high school, if you will, a new level of socialization is already in adulthood.
And we continue to talk about the difficulties of adolescence.
- It seems to me that it is a difficult age, physiologically and psychologically difficult, parents want something, something global must be solved for the future life, while conflicts in the classroom

Vladimir Orlov: The process of socialization is indeed the most important in development, but it must be somehow organized. Whatever the family, socialization takes place there, this is a need that is realized, but what components, what system, this largely determines what the child becomes. The presence of communication is the most important. If a child under 7-8 years old is not in active communication with an adult, he simply does not become a person. This is the Mowgli phenomenon. And then the sensitive period passes, the sensitivity to becoming a man, and that’s it, you can’t fix it.

Tamara Lyalenkova: On the other hand, we are talking about communication, about the need to be able to negotiate, we must be able to negotiate. But at this age, the most striking action produces an impression or example on the child. Not just a conversation, but an example or some kind of act.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: Heroes are positive and negative.

Vladimir Orlov: The heroics are changing, but they need the material they take from the social environment that surrounds them - what films they watch, what books they read, if they do.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: The external world is in fact a coordinate system on the basis of which or starting from which they form an image of themselves, an image to which they will subsequently strive. Unfortunately, now the topic of suicides among teenagers is a terrible topic, but again it arose out of inaudibility.

Vladimir Orlov: Loneliness, a feeling of loneliness. When a teenager feels his loneliness and uselessness, he loses the meaning of life, which is very relevant in this age period. It is easier for him to get out of the game, out of life, than to continue to experience this pain.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: On the other hand, very often this is also dictated by the fact that they want to punish someone, absolutely not understanding the value and finiteness of human life. And again, the external environment, the games in which children are constantly immersed, the heroes of these games constantly come to life, then die for hours ...

Vladimir Orlov: Having multiple lives, the so-called. There is an internal formation of permissiveness. The child feels power over the situation.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: There he has a very easy way to assert himself, there he is a god and a king, and he simply leaves reality.

Tamara Lyalenkova: And what about the parents? Most of the school conflicts come from parents.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: When we talk about the fact that parents today can take a more active role in school management, somehow influence the quality, perhaps, of education, the dialogue between the school administration and parents is also very important here. Because today, on the one hand, it seems that the school is gaining more freedom, and on the other hand, formalization and regulation prevail

Vladimir Orlov: Teachers say that the issue of the rights of the child is now being raised, but they forgot about us. And with each innovation, the teacher becomes less and less significant as a subject. And children, starting from adolescence, very quickly seized the opportunity to put pressure, dictate, dominate at school, and the authority of both the entire institute as a whole and the teacher and administrator is sharply reduced. And the director is not the last force that can influence the child. And parents begin to exercise their rights. The skew of rights shifts the centers, and we do not get harmony.

Pupils:

We have a boy in the class who behaves ugly with all the teachers. And when we moved to secondary school, we got a new teacher, she is 24 years old, she just came from the institute. I think that it is impossible to offend her, but he was rude to her all the time. And she began to say for any reason that, now, he will do something, and we explain to her with the whole class that he does not do this.

We've had new teachers all the time since fifth grade. Almost no one likes the new mathematics teacher as a person, but he teaches well. Some teachers are good, you can talk to them, but I don't understand how they teach. And we like this teacher less and less. And once he said, when someone made fun of me: “Only I have the right to mock students,” and it was very unpleasant on his part. He also forced me to carry a notebook three times from the first floor to the third floor.

Tamara Lyalenkova: It often happens that the background of the conflict is difficult to determine, but one thing is clear: the social function of the teacher is gradually changing.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: The described situation boomerangs back to children and parents. When we developed school mediation, we put at the forefront that school mediation is a method that is focused not only on the interests of the child. Yes, we put the child at the center of all this, but we are talking about rights, we even developed a special block of legal education so that everyone would feel equally comfortable. So that the rights can protect everyone. When school mediation comes to school, the first thing teachers tell us is that we definitely feel that the level of aggression in the teaching staff is decreasing. After all, when an emotionally charged parent comes to school, and a situation occurs when a scythe hits a stone, we understand what will happen. And we allow a person to be who he is, and still show, express his vision of the situation. And when this happens, a person gets the opportunity to be heard, then there is a basis for looking into the future and finding a way out of this situation.

Tamara Lyalenkova: Is it possible to cope with the situation that will now come to school with these tools? Firstly, a coefficient is introduced for items, that is, someone will receive more, someone less. Plus, there is a stimulating part, which will also be distributed in some way.

Vladimir Orlov: In one of the schools where I work, a very conflicting environment arose by autumn, there was a very powerful suppression from top to bottom, statements were made. But it’s impossible to work as it was, but we don’t know how to do it. Therefore, an experiment is needed here.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: The teacher is under a lot of stress. And this again becomes a vicious circle, which sometimes is simply impossible to cut. Because they live in this wheel, anxiety, dissatisfaction with themselves and the world around them are constantly growing.

Tamara Lyalenkova: And how willing are teachers to communicate? After all, parents have someone to complain to, children have, and the teacher has no one.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: I think that most teachers are ready and will even be grateful and glad if they are offered some ways, but they should feel that the system will allow them to step back a little. Yes, the school system and teachers, they are closed, they do not make contact, and the fact is that they do not even allow themselves to admit what problems they have. Because sometimes they don't see a way out of it.

Vladimir Orlov: They have a sense of impasse.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: Yes, they have a sense of hopelessness.

Vladimir Orlov: I encounter this all the time, they have a protest against their activities.

Tsisana Shamlikashvili: And that's where the aggression comes from.

Vladimir Orlov: We get tired not so much of the activity itself, but of the internal protest against this activity.

Tamara Lyalenkova: So it turns out that the lack of rights of teachers in the most negative way affects the right of children to receive a quality education. On the other hand, teachers' autocracy lasted too long in Russia for teachers to decide to abandon it so immediately.
The problems of socialization in a modern school were discussed today at the “Classroom Hour of Freedom” by psychologists Vladimir Orlov, Oleg Khukhlaev, Sofya Rozemblyum, President of the National Organization of Mediators Tsisana Shamlikashvili, Ombudsman for Children of Moscow Evgeny Bunimovich and Moscow schoolchildren. The program used the materials of the round table "Technologies for the prevention of xenophobia and national extremism in the educational environment" of the Moscow State University of Psychology and Education.

A systemic family psychologist helps to identify and understand negative cycle- the same sequence of feelings, desires, thoughts, typical reactions of spouses, leading the conflict to a dead end.

You react to your partner's provocation, and he (she) reacts to your reaction, step by step repeating and increasing the tension in the relationship.

An example of a negative conflict scenario

She is: Could you meet me after work by car? My driver's license has expired and I'm waiting for it to be issued.

He: I'll meet you. But don't expect me to drive you all week. I am not a taxi driver.

She is: But are you a husband? Some wives don't drive at all and their husbands meet them all the time! Do I ask you so often? I drive myself all the time and once every ten years my license expired.

He: Is it my fault that you did not take care of this in advance? Could prudently change not at the last moment.

She is: Are you going to scold me now, like a little girl? Let's punish me now by riding public transport, will it make you feel better? I thought you'd be pleased to meet me, we could stop by for dinner somewhere, this is a romantic time that we rarely have these days!

He: That's how, it turns out, I also turned out to be a bastard. Maybe you should look for another husband?
...
and sleep in different rooms...

How to figure it out?

And the paradox is that each spouse is right in his own way, everyone is looking for love. He is looking for confirmation of love in that he is not very heavily burdened with duties. She is looking for love in closeness, in spending time together.

He: “.. don't count on me to carry you all week. I'm not a taxi driver."

During the session, the psychotherapist uses special techniques, unexpected questions, associations with imaginary characters or toys, acting out scenes, etc. All this in order to identify spouses and then show each other real feelings. In this situation, the psychotherapist's actions will be aimed at finding an answer to the question: "What did you feel at that moment?"

Then, the therapist would apply similar feelings extraction techniques to your spouse to help answer the question, "What did you feel when you heard those words?"

Thus, both did not want anything bad for each other, nevertheless, a conflict occurred.

Gradually, step by step, unwinding and unfolding the negative conflict scenario in this way under the guidance of a psychotherapist, spouses learn to understand their hidden feelings and expectations from a partner, and also learn to better understand the feelings of a spouse.

Systemic family therapy

Analyzing their situations together with a psychotherapist, unraveling the negative cycle, the spouses discover motives that were not spoken to each other at the time of the conflict. These discoveries give new meanings and a new vision of the spouse's point of view. Each of the spouses begins to understand that the other does not wish him harm at all, but is trying to reduce his own anxiety.

Understanding your negative relationship cycles and the traps you fall into requires an outside perspective and a joint scenario analysis. Systemic family therapy helps break the vicious circle and start interacting in a different way.

How are the consultations going? These are exercises on game interaction, exercises on written analysis, sequential questioning of spouses, training of spouses' communication, game methods of working with toys and special symbolic cubes.

Subject: "These harmful conflicts"

Epigraph on the board: "Those who can't make soup make porridge."

Goals:

correct students' speech.

Conduct form: Talk show.

Equipment: ZUA, speech material, illustrations, computer, cartoon fragment, conflict, colored paper.

Vocabulary work: conflict - clash, dispute; intrapersonal, interpersonal, social; compromise - agreement, based on mutual concessions.

Lesson plan:

Organizing time.

Exercise "Snowflake".

Typology of conflicts.

Scene.

Picture task.

Arm wrestling game.

Summary of the lesson.

Lesson progress

Organizing time.

They sat down nicely. How can you hear me?

How will we speak in class?

Psychological training.

"Dear Guys! You have a box of wisdom in front of you. And she will share her wisdom with each of you. Look into it."

(Children take out colored cards with sayings from the box and read them aloud.)

Everything is achieved through love and concessions.

Where there is harmony, there is treasure.

You won't be right for a fight.

A quarrel will not lead to good.

Better a bad peace than a good quarrel.

To live in the world - to live in the world.

He scolded a lot, but did not achieve good.

Peace to you and I to you.

"Well done guys, good read."

Speech five minutes.

Guys, read the epigraph on the board.

How do you explain its meaning?

(If they cannot work together in a team, any business there turns into a mess.)

“That's right, if they cannot live and work together in a team, then relationships are constantly sorted out, grievances accumulate, clashes occur.

So, the theme of our lesson is "These harmful conflicts."

Let's repeat once again, how will we speak in class?

Vocabulary work.

What associations do you have with the word "conflict"?

(Quarrel, dispute, fight, war, clash)

"Thanks for answers. All these actions and experiences are associated with conflicts.

So, conflict is a clash of different desires. There are always conflicts in life.

Exercise "Snowflake".

“And now I suggest you do the following task. The main condition is to work silently, in spite of the neighbors.

Take a piece of paper, fold it in half. tear off the top right corner. Fold in half again. Tear off the top right corner again. Fold in half again. And once again tear off the upper right corner. Now lay out the sheet and show everyone the resulting snowflake (lift up).

Discussion. "Why are all the snowflakes different?"

(Each of us is an individual. You have different interests, dreams, aspirations. This can cause conflicts.)

Typology of conflicts.

Look at the types of conflicts. Let's read.

(Intrapersonal, interpersonal, social.)

situations.

Now I will give you the situation. You must analyze and say what kind they belong to.

(Working on the "bare ear")

situations.

Intrapersonal.

Interpersonal.

Social or intergroup.

“You did a good job with this task. And now we will move on to the interactive part: we will watch a cartoon called "Conflict". (View)

What is this cartoon about? (On the emergence of conflict and its harmful effects)

What kind of conflict is shown here? (Social Conflict)

“You could clearly see what conflicts between people sometimes lead to, and there are many similar cases in history.”

Was there a solution to the conflict? (It didn't happen and everyone got hurt)

“To prevent this from happening, we must think about how to stop the conflict, how to solve it.

Now we will play out the conflict situation ourselves and try to solve it together.”

Scene.

The boys of the class are preparing a festive wall newspaper for March 8 for girls. They have a great mood. Ersin suggested drawing a bright bouquet in the center of the newspaper, and Aidos the number 8.

E .: let's not draw the number 8 in the center of the newspaper, it does not look here.

A .: Everything is wrong for you, do not be harmful, let there be a number 8.

E .: How stubborn you are, like a donkey. Let's draw a bouquet.

A: Why are you in charge? Why does everyone have to listen to you?

E: You don't understand anything! You don't even know how to draw!

A .: Well, then draw one!

The boys are offended and do not talk to each other.

How do you think their dispute can be resolved?

(Some say that you need to draw the number 8, others say that a bouquet will look better).

“We are not looking for who is right and who is wrong, whose idea is better, it can be endless. We are looking for a solution to the conflict. Friendship is more important to you than this picture on the wall newspaper, you should not be offended by trifles. Let's put the number 8 in the center of the newspaper, and around the number we will draw many beautiful flowers.

Correctly? (Yes)

What caused the conflict? (Yersin: "We wanted to achieve our goal") Take the first step towards each other.

What needs to be done to resolve the conflict? (Aidos: “We need to respect each other and compromise”)

That's right, now take the second step. Well done, there's only one step left.

Answer the last question, where to start our truce?

(Yersin and Aidos: “We need to shake hands.” The boys shake hands and hug).

“So we have extinguished your conflict - a truce has taken place. But, remember that not always next to you will be a teacher or an adult. You need to be able to be a peacemaker yourself.

Picture task.

“Guys, you have pictures with donkeys on your tables. Look carefully and think."

What was the conflict here, and how was it resolved? (interpersonal conflict, resolved by agreement)

Arm wrestling game.

“Let's play the Armwrestling game with you. Two students are playing. The winner gets a sweet prize, and the loser gets applause!”

Well done boys! Well played! Now think about how to make sure that both players receive the prize?

Quite right!

Tell me please:

Are there conflicts in our lives? (Yes)

“There was a conflict between Aidos and Aslan in our school. And it was decided by the teaching staff of the school. You know how it ended. To prevent this from happening, you should not resort to violence and fights, but resolve everything peacefully.”

Summary of the lesson.

“Life cannot be lived without conflicts, but a reasonable, cultured person will always be able to properly resolve disputes and disagreements and find a compromise. This requires life experience, wisdom and knowledge. I hope you got them during today's lesson.

I want to offer you one simple formula for successfully resolving school conflicts.

1) Goodwill;

2) Tact;

3) Finding a compromise;

4) The ability to admit one's mistake;

5) Ability to listen to each other;

6) Justice.

What conclusions did you draw for yourself? (Live without conflict)

Well done!

Introspection

educational lesson " These harmful conflicts conducted with 10th grade students.

Lesson objectives:

contribute to the actualization of students' ideas about conflicts, their structure, types and causes;

to promote the formation of a positive attitude towards people, the desire to master the skills of communication and social interaction;

encourage children to cooperate and mutual understanding;

promote understanding of the conflict situation and ways out of it.

correct students' speech.

The lesson was held as a talk show. Students got acquainted with the types of conflicts, determined what the term "conflict" means.

During the lesson, she conducted a training exercise “Snowflake” with students, which allowed the children to conclude that each of us is an individual. You have different interests, dreams, aspirations. This may cause conflicts.

Students confidently participated in the analysis of conflict situations that were offered during the Armwrestling game, in working with story pictures. To consolidate the topic, the classes played mini-sketches in which the students themselves created conflict situations from the life of the group and offered a way out and solution to situations, then they made a general conclusion: one must be friendly, tactful, seek compromises, have the ability to admit one’s mistake, be able to listen to each other, to be fair.

During the classes, she used tablets with proverbs and sayings, demanded a continuous, intelligible pronunciation. The students listened and corrected each other's speech.

The objectives of the lesson were achieved, the students actively spoke on the topic, expressed their attitudes to the proposed situations, showed the ability to enter into a discussion of the topic, to defend their opinion.

Khakimova K.A. _______________________________________________

MOU "Ocher open (shift) general education school"

Scenario of a master class on the topic

"Form of solving school conflicts"

Completed by: Mokrushina Yu.P.

Deputy Director of WRM,

class teacher 11th class

Ocher, 2009

Explanatory note

The annual "complication" of the composition of the contingent of students, the problem of attendance, low motivation for educational activities, the lack of formation of positive moral and behavioral attitudes require great efforts from school teachers.

Such features of an open (shift) school as the frequent turnover of the student team (staying within the walls of the school is limited to 2-3 years), the movement of the contingent during the school year, the different "quality" of enrollment of students in different years, do not allow to fully stabilize the situation.

There is a need to strengthen the educational work within the school in the system. Analyzing the contingent, we see the following picture:

• 
  "Difficult" teenagers
• 
  Low-income
• 
  Children from incomplete families
• 
  Orphans, foster children
• 
  Recipients of a survivor's pension
• 
  Family and children
• 
  pregnant girls
• 
  Boys, after the army
• 
  Working
• 
  Afghan children
• 
  Disabled children
• 
  Citizens having a long break in their studies
• 
  Students returning from prison

Despite the heterogeneous composition, most of them are united by the same problems: a dysfunctional family, a negative attitude towards school, teachers, the educational process in general, a lack of personal responsibility, a positive experience of committing offenses, a lack of self-control and self-esteem skills.

^ The purpose of the master class:

Broadcasting the experience of school teachers with "difficult" children, an invitation to a dialogue of the pedagogical community to search for new approaches and methods for solving non-standard pedagogical situations.

Tasks:

1. 
   offer teachers the approaches we have developed in resolving a conflict situation;
2. 
   to form a bank of innovative developments in the field of educational work;
3. 
   use advanced pedagogical ideas in the activities of class teachers.

In the process of developing the master class, she used the experience of effective educational approaches of A.S. Makarenko, K. Ushinsky, V.A. Dmitrievsky, Neil Bernstein, Yu.B. Gippenreiter, E.N. Garcia.

Over the years of working with teenagers, we have faced various problems and situations, but over the past 2 years we have encountered a problem that has caused many conflicts between teachers and students.

We are talking about the use of obscene expressions by some schoolchildren not only in communication with peers on the courtyard, but also within the walls of the school, in the classroom.

Teachers react differently to such expressions of students: some make correct remarks, others conduct conversations about the culture of speech, and still others resort to a witty joke. Work in this direction cannot be limited to a few class hours, it must be carried out systematically, every time when obscene expressions reach the ear of the teacher. Very often it is possible to conduct conversations in his office of the manager. In this situation, it is impossible not to recall Makarenko’s “Pedagogical Poem”: “The office is never empty - there are always people in it, and it is always noisy ... The Communard will not miss the opportunity to enter the office ... But, of course, it is even physically impossible for the Communard to sit quietly on a chair . He enters into a quiet conversation with someone, the same random guest, in a corner, a third one joins them, and the conversation flares up ... ”Exactly what is happening in our school in the office of the deputy. director during breaks and after school. Chatting among themselves, the guys do not skimp on strong expressions. We have to put aside all the important things and talk with them that there is no need to litter our beautiful language.

But as practice shows, it is more difficult in such situations, most often, for senior teachers (over 50). They perceive such expressions from the lips of teenagers as outright rudeness, disgrace and personal insult. There is nothing surprising in this, because they began their pedagogical activity with working youth, in the minds of which respect for the personality of the teacher was firmly entrenched. Senior teachers recall the time when a young man, standing next to a girl, did not dare to “express himself”, and today girls are not far behind the guys.

This problem did not suddenly surface, it gradually gained momentum. Previously, there were no cases of obscene treatment of adolescents in the presence of a teacher, isolated situations were resolved without conflict. But since the problem was born, it was necessary to look for new methods and approaches. The information acquired at the courses of the senior lecturer of the Department of Health Care Elena Nikolaevna Garsiya in 2004 turned out to be very timely. It was about the psychological health of the teacher as a factor in the health of the student. We immediately shared the teacher's health-preserving methods with the team, especially since they were the best way to help solve the emerging problem.

These methods are: to expand the pedagogical repertoire (the poverty of the pedagogical repertoire is the reason for the pedagogical outcry); develop a sense of humor, wit; smile.

Let me give you one example: At the lesson, an angry student grabs his things and with the words to the teacher: “Fuck you ...” leaves the office, slamming the door. The class is waiting for the teacher's reaction, he has already deliberately taken the position of a run-out classmate. The teacher in an unperturbed, slightly surprised tone says: “Strange: he sent me, but he went himself ?!”. The tension in the class vanished instantly. Smiles appeared on the faces of the children. As a result of the teacher's use of a witty joke, the class did not support the teenager's defiant behavior.

Most of the teachers of our school took these techniques into service and learned how to adequately respond to the obscene statements of students and intelligently get out of the situation.

One day, when I entered the mathematics classroom, I saw a small poster on the wall. On it were the verses:

About the bad and the holy What is the most sacred thing in our heart? You really don't have to think or guess. There is the simplest thing in the world And the most sublime: Mother! So why is this a big word Let not today, but a long time ago, But for the first time it was Someone somewhere Turned into blasphemous abuse? That ancestor was both dark and bad And hardly even knew what he was doing When one day he took and nailed Native word for the battle of the areal. And after all, it went, it didn’t settle with dust, And rose like a dark river. Others were found. They took it, they took it And it raced through the years and centuries ... Let sometimes someone really want To whip the enemy with words Like a scourge And sharpness on the tongue is not only Asking And in anger and often pronounced, But only the mother is still here

Let life be difficult, let Sometimes harsh And yet it's hard to understand That the word "mate" comes from The words "mother" The worst - from the most holy! Really for your love For giving birth to us and raising us, Mother didn't deserve better Than this plume from Obscene words?! Well, how to let To year after year So the flame of their hearts was offended?! And foul language of every kind It's time to say sternly at last: Fight or quarrel As you wish, But do not lose the title of people: Don't touch, don't dare, don't dirty No name, no honor of mothers!

Passing, the guys stopped their eyes on these lines. Some of them made me think.

But some teachers were not ready to change their strong beliefs about the profanity of students. Remaining adamant on this issue, they believed that "joking" in response to rudeness is not a way of education. Tougher measures are needed: the involvement of parents, the police, etc. But drawing up protocols of administrative punishment did not solve this problem.

As a class teacher, working in the 11th grade, where there are 17 boys and 3 girls, I closely encountered the problem of obscene expressions. There are several boys in our class whose speech suffers from profanity, which often leads to conflicts.

Student C. The 11th grade student behaved badly in the lesson, did not complete the task, was addicted to playing on the phone, did not respond to the teacher's repeated remarks. The teacher harshly gave a negative assessment of the teenager's actions. In response, the fiery student said that he was tired of all this, and swore strongly.

How dare you talk to a teacher like that?

As I want, so I speak ....

A verbal duel with the offender began.

The conflict was inevitable.

In the midst of the conflict, the teacher left the classroom, going after the class teacher in order to involve her in resolving the situation. The teacher and class teacher returned together. Entering, the teacher delivered her verdict to the rude schoolboy: “I won’t let him go to class again! Behaves in a boorish way, I will not tolerate this ... ".

Vladimir Alexandrovich Dmitrievsky in the textbook "Psychological Safety in Educational Institutions" offers specific ways out of traumatic situations, tells how to avoid them or direct them in the right direction.

1 step to conflict resolution:

It is necessary to achieve a temporary cessation of the activity of one of the parties in order to weaken the conflict. In this situation, this side will be the student.

The class teacher invites the student to go with him, especially since he has already been kicked out of the lesson.

In school conditions, an increase in the number of conflicting parties often occurs because the teacher, less often the student, involves in the conflict the class teacher, head teacher, director, who are forced to participate in the proceedings on duty.

If the teacher is willing to expand the conflict, then in most cases it is he who is the main culprit. The teacher must deal with conflicts on his own.

Another thing is if the teacher saw a significant problem behind a specific conflict, for the solution of which the teacher's powers are not enough.

In such a conflict, an outside person (class teacher) as a rule is not a witness to all the events that make up the essence of the conflict, therefore, it is often possible to draw erroneous conclusions from the words of the conflicting parties, especially since errors and False.

Step 2 to resolve the conflict:

First follows actively listen to each side individually, then try to calmly voice the feelings of the child, the teacher:

Child - You don't want to go to class anymore! I understand how you feel. Teacher - You are very offended and angry with him! I understand how you feel. Sometimes even this step is enough for the parties to be ready to compromise. It is important to intuitively feel the degree of intensity of the situation. If the mental state of the conflicting parties allows, then

3 steps to conflict resolution:

Sustain a pause of 1 or 2 days, especially since the lesson schedule allowed the teacher and student to no longer intersect until the end of the week (at the moment, the intuition of the class teacher is of great importance).

4 steps to conflict resolution:

We use the observation method.

Silent about the conflict that happened, the class teacher attends lessons in this class, communicates with teachers in order to understand whether the behavior is typical our student whether there were random conflicts on the same ground with other teachers.

As a result of joint communication, a problem was identified: a low level of speech culture of adolescents, the use of obscene expressions occurs unconsciously, such words are rooted in the speech of schoolchildren and have become the norm.

5 steps to conflict resolution: After such a situation, it's time to talk to our student S. about the conflict that happened 2 days ago. After admitting his misbehavior, S. expressed his willingness to apologize to the teacher. Such a discussion moves the conflict from an emotional level to a business one, as a result of which it becomes more manageable, and the likelihood of overcoming it increases. The case contributed to the solution of the situation. At my lesson, going to the blackboard, student A hit the corner of the desk. ……. !" - the first thing he shouted. He was in pain. I had to remind once again that it is unacceptable to express it in class.

And what should I endure silently? - hissed A.

Grit your teeth and endure, but don't express yourself.

Maybe I'm ready to jump on the walls from pain!

Jump, but don't express yourself. Everyone in the class laughed. The bell rang from the lesson, but the guys were in no hurry to leave. They literally demanded an answer to the question: “Why can’t you swear?! It's Russian, everyone says so! Just don't say you don't know those words!"

I had to answer: "There is a time and a place for swearing."

And where is this place?

I will tell you about it tomorrow.

The next day, at a literature lesson, they discussed M. Sholokhov's story "The Fate of a Man." We are talking about the episode where the commandant of the camp, the German Müller, with a pack of SS men brutally beat Russian prisoners. “He goes and hits every second person in the nose, bleeds. This he called "prophylaxis against the flu." He was a neat bastard, he worked without days off ... Before he goes to lay his hand, he, in order to inflame himself, swears for about ten minutes in front of the formation. He swears for nothing, and it makes it easier for us: like a word - it’s ours, natural, like a breeze blows from our native side ... If only he knew that his swearing gives us pleasure ... "

Just finished reading the episode our student S. said: “Now I understand why the checkmate is needed!”

Adversity turned into victory.

The final step towards conflict resolution: Student S. apologized to the teacher. The teacher allowed the teenager to attend his lessons.

Result: 1. The conflict is over.

2. Schoolchildren began to monitor their speech. If a vulgar word breaks out of the student's mouth, then it is enough to call the student by name and say: "You again ...". The answer almost always sounds: “Sorry!”

I recall the words of Makarenko that no matter how long the science of pedagogy exists, no matter how many scientific works are written, but here one hooligan meets - and does not obey any thought, any logic. The main thing to proceed from in a conflict situation is your own intuition. A teacher today must be mobile, wise, tolerant; to have a stock of a wide range of psychological knowledge, to accumulate experience.

Therefore, no matter which side the justice is on, adults are more responsible for the outcome of the conflict ...

Literature

1. Vladimir Alexandrovich Dmitrievsky Psychological safety in educational institutions "- M: Pedagogical Society of Russia, 2002

2. Neil Bernstein Survival Encyclopedia for Parents. Teenager upbringing. - M .: Eksmo Publishing House, 2003

3. Gippenreiter Yu.B. Communicate with the child. How? - M.: CheRo, 1998.

4. Gippenreiter Yu.B. We continue to communicate with the child. So? – M.: AST: Astrel; Vladimir, 2008

5. Sibirtsova G.N. Table book deputy. director of the school for educational work. - Rostov n / a.: Phoenix, 2003

6. A.S. Makarenko "Pedagogical poem", 1976

Theme "Conflict and way out of it"

Conduct form: conversation, games with elements of dramatization.

Target:

Consider conflict as a general concept that defines relationships between people (at school, family);

Show the causes of conflicts;

To note the importance of the role of mediation in various kinds of conflicts.

Training

Find relevant material on a topic. 0 Prepare students with reports.

Rehearse scenes of conflict situations.

Part one. theoretical

Student report on the topic “Why do conflicts arise? Scientific representations»

Conflict- these are various types of opposition, confrontation of individuals and groups over mismatched goals, interests, values, attitudes that are essential for them, as well as conscious practical activity to overcome these contradictions.

Along with the concept of conflict, the terms “competition”, “rivalry”, “competition”, “hostility”, “crisis”, “contradiction” are used that are close in meaning, but not identical in content.

Competition- a special type of confrontation, the purpose of which is to obtain benefits, profits or favorable access to scarce material and spiritual values. In competition, the goal and end result are clearly defined and understood. Competition may or may not be accompanied by conflict. The peculiarity of competition lies in the use of only those forms of struggle that are recognized as moral and legal in a society or organization.

Rivalry- struggle for recognition of personal achievements by society, group, individuals. It is characterized by a demonstration of mutual superiority by achieving generally significant prestigious goals. Rivalry can result in conflict, or it can proceed calmly. The object of rivalry is the best social or professional positions, awards, assessment of subordinates, recognition of colleagues or senior management.

Competition- a more formalized and peaceful type of rivalry, in which the forms and goals of rivalry are clearly defined and recorded.

Hostility- a fixed psychological attitude, readiness for conflict behavior. Hostility does not always result in conflict, just as not every conflict is dominated by hostility.

A crisis- the state of the system in which it is impossible to simultaneously satisfy the interests of two or more groups striving for different goals.

Contradiction- an objective, not always realized, outwardly manifested state of the system, in which the interests, goals, values ​​of its elements are mismatched. Contradiction is always at the root of conflict. But conflict, unlike contradiction, is an external form of manifestation of contradiction, opposing behavior about contradiction.

"The role of the mediator in conflicts"

Explanation to the topic

The resolution of the conflict situation of the opposing sides is often carried out in life with the help of an intermediary, i.e. a person who is able to delve into the cause of misunderstanding, defuse the emotional situation, and find a solution that is optimally beneficial for both parties.

The proposed game form of the mediator's participation in various simulated conflict situations will help students to be not only active participants in life scenes played out, but also, as it were, independent arbiters who have their own objective view from the outside.

A group of children is selected in the class who are entrusted with the role of intermediaries. The competition "The best peacekeeper" is being organized. Summing up the results of the competition is held every six months by the whole class at the meeting.

The teacher explains to the children that in any conflict situation they must remain friendly towards all parties, as they play the role of a peacemaker, not a judge.

Reminds the requirement of competence - knowing the procedure for resolving the conflict, act confidently and professionally, know how, where the situation requires it, show power (persistence, exactingness), but do not forget that you need to obey the elders (parents, psychologist, teachers).

Student report on the topic “What should be a mediator in a conflict?”

Intermediary professionalism means:

1. Be serious and firm, but at the same time "warm" and "positive."

2. Express trust and care.

3. Be responsible, i.e.:

neutral;

Show respect;

Do not involve or become involved in conflict;

Do not be guided by emotions;

Do not give advice, do not impose your ideas to find a solution;

Do not act condescendingly;

Take your responsibility seriously.

Conflict management rules:

1. Do not interrupt the interlocutor.

2. Tell the truth.

3. Don't get personal.

4. Really work on solving the problem.

Mediation process steps:

1. Approach the disputants.

2. Reassure them if necessary.

3. Introduce yourself and ask their names if you don't already know them.

4. Explain your competence.

5. Get consent.

6. Explain the collaboration process.

7. Start the mediation process:

Don't make assumptions;

Listen;

Repeat what you hear;

Check;

Get more information;

Offer multiple solutions;

Reach an agreement.

8. End on a positive note.

Three outcomes of conflict:

1. Victory - defeat - one side is satisfied, the other is not satisfied.

2. Defeat - defeat - both sides are not satisfied with the result.

3. Victory - victory - both sides come to an agreement.

Mediation in any conflict:

Creates a more peaceful environment;

Reduces hostility, tension, frustration;

Promotes trust, friendship, self-respect, self-confidence;

Teaches to make decisions, solve problems, control emotions;

Unites people, prevents violence and physical abuse.

In their work, mediators, in addition to participating in conflict resolution, can:

Come up with funny scenes on the topic of mediation and show them to students;

To create a cool corner of "peacemakers", where they could play with the results of their activities in a comic form;

Draw posters describing the mediation process and put them up at school;

Act as mentors, that is, teach a small group of students to find ways out of conflicts.

Conclusion: Such business games give good results in real life, in the relationship of the children among themselves, in the family, in the relationship between students and teachers.

Part two. Practical

Theme "Communication Trainer"

Development of group rules

Typical rules:

1. "Confidentiality" - what happens in the group is not discussed outside of class, with other people.

Students express their agreement or disagreement with the rules. After a short discussion, they accept them by voting. If someone does not agree with some rule, then the discussion continues.

Exercise 1 "Triads"

Triads are formed: "client", "adviser" and "intermediary", "Client" tries to determine five personality traits that he would like to work on: some to strengthen, and others to weaken or reduce to zero. "Advisor" helps him in this task. He tries to determine the most important, in his opinion, personality traits. The "mediator" is watching the conversation. If during the conversation misunderstanding, contradictions, difficulties occur, then he suggests trying other options. The “intermediary” does not seek to give advice on the content of the conversation, since this is not part of his responsibilities. After drawing up a program of personal improvement, there is a change of roles in the triads. Everyone should be in the role of "client", "advisor" and "intermediary".

Exercise 2 "Make a "knot" of people"

Students are divided into groups of 5-7 people. The groups form tight circles. Each participant takes hold of someone's hand with their right hand. Everyone should not take the hand of a neighbor. Then the same is done with the left hand. No one should hold both hands of one person. The goal of the game is to untie the knot without letting go of the hands. Students can step over, bend over and talk while holding hands. A knot is considered untied when the group forms a circle (sometimes two intersecting circles). If students begin to lose hope, they need to be encouraged: almost all such knots can be untied.

Exercise 3 "Ten "I""

On a piece of paper, students write ten "I" in a column, then opposite each "I" write down the thoughts that come to mind. For example: "I love chocolate."

Exercise 4 "Fantastic Feedback"

Students sit facing each other in two circles - outer and inner. Everyone looks at the person sitting opposite, relaxes and expresses the associations that he has. Alternatively, the trainer may suggest imagining the person sitting opposite to some animal. The one who caused the association asks any clarifying questions: “How does this animal behave? Is it aggressive or not? etc. Then the students switch roles. After that, the outer circle, clockwise, is transplanted to one person. This is how new pairs are formed, and everything repeats. There can be 3-5 such transplants, depending on the mood of the group. In conclusion, students summarize everything and draw conclusions about their properties and their attitude towards other participants.

Exercise 5 "Dance on the fingers"

Students raise both hands, touch their fingertips to the fingertips of a neighbor and make any movement using all the space. The dance lasts 8-5 minutes. After the dance, the partners tell each other about their feelings, what they liked in the behavior of the partner, and what caused conflicting feelings. This is done simultaneously in all pairs. Then the outer circle is transplanted clockwise to one person. The exercise is repeated 3-5 times.

Part three. Games with elements of dramatization

Topic "View of the conflict from the outside"(Comic skits, fairy tales with conflict)

Conflicts are as old as the world. People have always tried to understand the world and each other. Sometimes it's difficult because people don't always see problems in the same way. Read this old Indian tale and try to determine the reason for the error of the sages. Help the blind wise men find out what an elephant really looks like. Rewrite the end of the story.

The Wise Men and the Elephant (A Comic Tale)

Long ago, in a small town, there were six blind wise men. One day an elephant was brought into the city. The wise men wanted to see him. But how? “I know,” said one wise man, “we will feel it.” “Good idea,” others said, “then we will know what kind of an elephant he is.”

So six people went to see the elephant. The first groped for a large flat ear. It moved slowly back and forth.

"The elephant is like a fan!" shouted the first sage. The second wise man touched the elephant's legs. "He looks like a tree!" he exclaimed.

"You're both wrong," said the third, "he looks like a rope." This man groped for an elephant's tail.

“The elephant is like a spear,” exclaimed a fourth.

“No, no,” shouted the fifth, “an elephant is like a high wall!” He spoke like this, feeling the side of the elephant.

The sixth wise man tugged at the elephant's trunk. “You are all wrong,” he said, “an elephant is like a snake.”

"No, on a rope!" - "Snake!" - "Wall!" - "You are wrong!" - "I'm right!" The six blind men screamed at each other for an hour. And they never knew what an elephant looked like.

Conclusion

Teacher: Did you laugh when we read this fairy tale? What was the matter? You're right! Each person could only imagine what his hands could feel. As a result, everyone thought that he had discovered the truth and knew what an elephant looked like. Nobody wanted to listen to what others were saying.

Were the wise men really wise? They had a conflict based on differences in perception. They still don't know what an elephant looks like.

Little Red Riding Hood (Role-play dialogue)

Read the text of the fairy tale "Little Red Riding Hood", written in a modern way, but with a pronounced conflict of the warring parties. Ask students to take the position of one of the participants in the conflict and analyze events from this position.

Who is to blame for the conflict?

Who initiated the conflict?

At what point could it have been avoided?

Characters:

red Riding Hood

Bad Wolf

red Riding Hood: Hi guys, I live with my mom on the edge of a big forest.

Mum: Yesterday I asked my daughter to take a basket of pies to her grandmother, who lives on the other side of the forest.

Kvasnaya Hat: At that time I was watching my favorite show on TV, so I said that I would do it later. Guess what my mom said to me?

Mum: When I want something to be done, then it must be done immediately, and it does not matter to me that others are busy with something at this time!

Red Riding Hood: So, I took a pie and went on my way. On the way, I bumped into this guy named Bad Wolf. Actually, I didn’t run into him, but he jumped out at me.

Bad Wolf: Hey! Are you so dressed up? What, no other hat? Where are you going alone, maybe to spend?

Red Riding Hood: I don't talk to freaks! You think that you are cool, but in fact - the grayness of the forest. Get out of the way and leave me alone! My mood is already ruined, and here you are adding fuel to the fire! Leave, otherwise I’ll kick it - it won’t seem enough!

Bad Wolf: Did you fall off your horse? You grumble like you've been stung! Okay, go your own way!

red Riding Hood: When I came to my grandmother, I found her in bed. Thinking she looked ill or something, I said, “Oh Grandma, your hairy face is scary to look at! Your eyes are watering, your whole nose is wet. You look terrible!"

Bad Wolf: This impudent girl told me a lot of nasty things about my ears, my bulging eyes, and most importantly, I could not stand insults against my teeth! And he said menacingly to her: “You are very right, granddaughter! I'll feel better when I get my dessert!"

red Riding Hood: Then I suddenly realized that by dessert she means me. There was something odd about the way she said it. I was right when the Bad Wolf jumped out of the bed right at me.

Bad Wolf: What, scared? How to run, so bold! Now I'll kick you and it hurts a lot!

red Riding Hood: How did you get here before me? Where is my beloved grandmother?

Bad Wolf: Think with your head! I took the short cut past the lake to the hill! And where did you go wrong, I don't know!

Red Riding Hood: Where is my grandmother? What have you done to her, you filthy fellow!

Bad Wolf: Nothing special. Looked out the window, knocked on the door. And he said that the granddaughter brought pies! The door was open, I went in, and your granny ran away somewhere.

red Riding Hood: So you scared the hell out of my beloved grandmother! And he wanted to eat me?

Grandmother: Scared, dear, but not to death. I've already called the forest guard on my cell phone. Will be soon.

Red Riding Hood: Grandma, how glad I am that you are alive and well!

Bad Wolf: We have to carry our legs while they hug!

Conclusion and comments

There is a clear misunderstanding on the part of mother and daughter. Mom in an orderly tone tells the girl to urgently go to her grandmother, although you can do it later, which causes a negative attitude in the girl: her mood is spoiled, she did not watch the TV show.

Mom could not have insisted so urgently on getting ready and going to her grandmother, then both of them would not have spoiled their mood.

This negativity passed from Little Red Riding Hood to the Wolf, who even seems to sympathize with Little Red Riding Hood, however, he does it clumsily and rudely.

The wolf is very offended. He decides to play a trick on the girl, but he does it again rudely. He scares his grandmother and receives "a bunch of nasty things" said by Little Red Riding Hood.

"Syracusan Divorce" (Joke scene)

Characters

Choir of the public

Prologue

Typical apartment building in Syracuse. On the first floor of the left wing is the housing department. Not far from the house clothing market.

Father: My cup of patience is full!

Mother:

And my already overflowed for a long time!

Enough talk, I'm leaving tomorrow!

And I'll take my son.

Father:

Oh foolish!

You deprive your son of a male upbringing.

Mother: And also stupid influence!

Father:

I'm tired of constant rudeness, reproaches,

Witness Zeus - I endure them with humility,

But you keep in mind that our son is an adult youth,

And he can decide for himself who he will stay with.

Mother: I'm almost sure of his choice.

Father and mother leave.

From the side of the housing administration, a choir of the public appears in winged chariots.

Oh, listen to us, walls of native Syracuse!

Whatever the day, then a divorce!

The family broke up

Syracuse Society -

Powerful stronghold

Our democracy.

O shame! Oh shame!

Divorce is bad in and of itself.

Spouses share property, money,

Living space is changing its large

For smaller two in remote areas.

The worst thing is that you have to share

They are indivisible - their child.

The boy, taking advantage of such a lawsuit,

Knows where the benefits will be more.

Act one

Enter father and son.

My son, I believe that you will stay with me,

You are not spoiled by luxury and bliss.

I raised you to be a tough warrior.

We will arrange life with Spartan simplicity,

And you will go to your mother on holidays.

Oh yes, I'm not truly spoiled

No music center

I don't know any karaoke sounds.

I am not corrupted by bourgeois culture,

What along with the "video" appeared

to us from across the sea,

Not corrupted by Nike or Adidas

There is no “computer”, no simple player,

What parents give to all my peers.

This is the first time I hear something like this from you.

Is that all you would like to have?

Alas, father, my needs are growing.

As fast as I am growing.

But it's all so expensive...

Well, well, even though I'm not rich,

You can count on me

But still tell me: I would like something

Are you sicker than anything else?

Ah, dad! There is a cherished desire:

I saw him at night in my dreams,

About two cylinders, excellent view,

With two but fast wheels,

Gorgeous, with soft seats,

All by standards with super power.

Ah, daddy, motorcycle, of course,

better imported.

All in all?

Your desires are insane.

I'll try... I mean... I'll think...

Oh, Zeus, look - a pensive son

He sits on a chair, looks out the window,

Exhausted by sadness.

Maybe the father can't buy

Does he want a motorcycle?

He bites his nails, he is waiting for his mother

Coming from work.

And here comes his mother,

All full of love.

She's ready to go into debt

Just to annoy my husband...

A respectful son clings to his mother,

Secret thought cherishing in the chest:

Will mom buy him a motorcycle,

What if the father refuses?

Weep and wail, people of Syracuse!

Morality has fallen in the bosom of the family!

Is this a change worthy of us

What a mercantile son!

Action two

Mother and son enter.

Mother:

Do not hesitate, for your own child

I'll get a two-wheeled miracle.

Ah, mother! I would always want to live with you

And I will visit my father only on holidays.

Mother:

Oh my love, wait for me a little,

While I'm going to the Syracuse Housing and Social Bank.

Mom leaves. Father enters.

Father:

You, my son, I wanted to please -

And you yourself will choose a motorcycle for yourself.

But our business has become more complicated, daddy,

Perhaps you will find more opportunities

And buy me at least a Pentium.

Father: Well, I'll think about it.

Father leaves.

What does he think and think all the time!

Oh Gods! So my mom is back.

Mother enters.

Mommy, dear, it happened so strangely,

That circumstances have changed

And I desperately need a cell phone,

Or a pager as a last resort on the first

the time will come.

Mom grabs her head and leaves.

Act Three

Mother and father appear from opposite ends of the stage. Each of them rolls boxes of things in front of him. The son stands in the middle of the stage.

Father: My son, this is the limit of my possibilities.

Mother:

I, my husband, thought

Before you break.

Father: Wife, I'm not laughing. Here is a tragedy!

Mother:

What a laugh! My husband, hear the lamentations

Tormented mother's heart!

I'm tired of running around the shops

I spent my savings

I got into such debts bottomless,

What, Zeus sees, can’t get out of them in the coffin!

Father:

And I'm in debt, and I lead a miserable life.

Perhaps you and I, wife, will reconcile?

Come on my breast, accept my kiss!

Mother:

Let us unite again, my husband, as one family!

And our beloved son will live with us!

Father: And we'll sell all this equipment to hell!

Son: Oh, motorcycles, Nikes, Adidas!

Wrings his hands.

I have touched and smelled this wealth,

But overnight, alas, I lost everything!

Wrings his legs.

Why didn't I agree to a little!

Oh, the collapse of hope! Oh, unreasonable punishment!

Wraps his head.

Unhappy, do not torture yourself!

Do not tear your clothes, do not scratch your forehead.

Everything is for the best - the main thing is that your

The parents are reunited.

And happiness is not in expensive things

and fashionable

Everything is much more important

That the friendly family did not break up

And it will be more than a hearth alone

In glorious Syracuse!

Conclusions and comments

Despite the happy ending, it turned out to be a real tragedy. Rather, the existence of such a family is a tragedy for all its members.

Our life is saturated with materialism. Many necessary, good, useful, modern things have appeared, but there are spheres of human life in which monetary settlements, in general, any paid relations should not exist.

They shouldn't, they shouldn't, but a family completely free from such relationships is a rare occurrence.

Alas, this is so, and begins from early childhood: “I got five!” - "Well done, hold the chocolate!" - "Washed the floors!" - "On, daughter, money for the cinema."

And the reverse demands: “I gave birth to you - you owe me everything; I fed you, watered you, clothed you - you are obliged to support me in old age. That is, not because the father and mother became elderly, but as if paying for their hard work. It looks like a touching natural exchange of the era of feudalism.

So, maybe we should not encourage children at all?

This is not about that, just such things as love for children and parents, as well as the desire to develop, acquire knowledge, do not need material rewards. They are valuable in themselves and paying for them is simply immoral. Otherwise, conflicts and tragedies are inevitable, and more serious than what was played here in the skit.

Conclusion

Teacher: Guys, the topic of conflicts that we touched on is as vast as life itself. It is almost impossible to open it within a few lessons. In the future, you will comprehend this science yourself on the example of someone else's and your own experience, as well as from books. But I think that you have learned some useful things from the theoretical justification of conflicts presented by us. And, of course, funny scenes helped to look from the outside at conflict situations often encountered in life, and their discussion gave food for thought, led to the solution of their own problems.

Additional information on the topic "Conflict and way out of it"

Basic concepts

. "Global" statements that blame and insult the person as a whole, and not a specific act. For example: "You always... you never... you're bad... you're selfish." In conflict situations, it is necessary to avoid “You” statements, “global” statements. To evaluate some events, it is desirable to use the "I"-statement.

. "We"-statement is used to unite the efforts of the conflicting parties. For example: "Guys, let's try to understand this situation together."

. The "you" statement makes the listener feel guilty or judged. This makes the person more defensive than trying to solve the problem. For example: "You always borrow money from me and never give it back, etc." In the "You"-statement there is an assessment of an action that is unpleasant for the speaker: "... you never give back."

. "I"-statement is used to express one's attitude to events. However, the mediator in resolving the conflict must use it with extreme caution.

Active listening - the interlocutor shows active, energetic participation in the conversation, making it clear that the problems expressed are close to him, and only 50% of what is said is understood or even simply heard by other people. Therefore, in mediation and communication in general, active listening is crucial.

Alternative (from Latin "alternating") - the choice of one of the only two possible solutions.

Antipathy is a feeling of dislike, hostility, disgust.

Brainstorming is a joint solution to the problem, analyzing it from different angles and all kinds of approaches. Help conflicting parties to come up with different ideas and possible solutions. Communicate that there is no criticism when putting forward ideas. Ideas are captured for further analysis. Sometimes it is useful to highlight those moments in which there is agreement between the parties. Offer, but don't force. Remember, you can give ideas, but you can't advise what to do.

Acceptance - in addition to understanding, in the process of communication, there is a process of acceptance. If understanding is the extent to which speakers equally imagine the subject of discussion, then acceptance is the extent to which they agree with each other's statements. In resolving disputes, it is necessary to seek agreement, that is, to find a common solution.