- Genre:
- Before you is a complete collection of "bitchy writings." This is exactly the kind of book I needed fifteen years ago, and that's why I wrote it. Bit by bit, from books, from people and from my (not always sweet) experience, I learned to live, build relationships with men and “do business”. People who have known me since childhood are sometimes surprised at how much I have changed. Change has a name - BITCH. I love and I am loved, I earn well and cannot live without work. They admire me, they envy me, and all because I have become different from most women. I became strong, smart, beautiful, independent. I became a Bitch and have never regretted it.
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- Genre:
- Bitch ... How many different concepts are embedded in this word. Someone admires bitches, someone hates them, someone tries to imitate, someone contemptuously looks after them. Whatever it was, but their life does not leave anyone indifferent. This book is about them, women who, by the will of fate or bad luck, were called bitches. Who were they really - insensitive predators manipulating the fate of people, or unfortunate women who spent their lives chasing the bird of happiness? Heroines or victims of the era? Before condemning and blaming them for what they have done, exalting and copying them, let us try to understand them and understand the interweaving of their lives. And just to see the main thing among all the superficial things, because first of all they were real WOMEN.
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- Genre:
- This book is not about all the womanly things that you keep in your dressing table drawer or wardrobe. "Higher School" is the ability to manage oneself and people, to soberly assess the situation and turn it in one's favor (that's why it is the HIGHEST). The management game is the most fun I've ever played. To study a person, to feel him, to play with him, like a cat with a mouse. Isn't that real power? And what if the crown is always on the male head? I choose for myself the role of the "grey eminence" and undertake to play it brilliantly. Welcome to Bitch High School!
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- Genre:
- Who among us has not observed with mute admiration the habits of a cat? Who has not dreamed of trying on a luxurious skin, drawing “cat's” eyes and walking with cat's grace? Or effectively curl up in a chair, completely relaxed and pretending that nothing special is happening? Let the cat be your totem animal and talisman for the time spent with this book in your hands, let it escort you from page to page and teaches everything, what we women lost on the way to progress. Let the ancient knowledge make us charming, passionate and proud in self-awareness as women. I am sure that even after reading you will not want to part with a new companion. A new skin, a new outlook on life, success with men ... You quickly get used to the good.
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- Genre:
- Everything connected with magic is surrounded by myths and mystery. Almost every day we watch mystical and fantastic films, we empathize with brave fighters against dark forces, we are afraid of monsters and evil sorcerers. In real life, everything is simpler, but this is by no means more boring. For centuries, people have noticed patterns, discovered the laws of energy, learned not only to see, but also to feel. Cars, televisions, and computers have appeared, but have we become healthier and happier as a result? Is it not in vain that we swept aside with “one left” everything that our ancestors carefully collected, passing from generation to generation? And all in order to get around three blocks of black cats and pay crazy money to "magicians", "healers" and psychotherapists who assure that soon, very soon everything will be very, very good. The mysterious magical rules are often easily explained in terms of the laws of nature, energy, even physics. One has only to think, and the inexplicable becomes understandable and predictable. Yes, I believe in magic, but what you believe in, you need to know and understand. This is one of the rules of the bitch.
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- Genre:
- Jews can be loved or hated, but their successes are obvious. The list of the richest people published by Forbes speaks eloquently about their financial achievements. On attitudes towards education - lists of applicants from the most prestigious universities. There are legends about their ability not to survive, but to live fully in any, even the most difficult, conditions. In the practice of psychological training, one of the most effective methods is the “Pursuit of the Leader”, the essence of which is in close observation and analysis of any person whose success you want bring into your life. Understanding a successful person, adopting his habits and way of thinking, you yourself become successful, and gradually, using your personal talents and individual characteristics, you surpass the leader chosen as a model. We watched the Jews to discover their secrets, technologies of success, honed over the years. You have a unique opportunity not only to learn a lot about Jewish traditions, but also to learn the best, learn to think like a rich person, keep love in the family, raise loving and caring children and go through life with a brilliant Jewish sense of humor.
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- Genre:
- If a man admitted that he was afraid of a female bitch - he is not disingenuous! For no type of woman excites, intrigues, attracts, plunges into the abyss of passions like a bitch. She is a vamp woman, she is a fatal beauty, she is a sinner, she is a predator, she is also a socialite, she is a thunderstorm of women unlike her, she is ... The secret behind the Seven Seals, which is taken to open slightly the author of this book.
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- Genre:
- You have in your hands a book that should not be shown to men in any case. Being a modern woman means being a Bitch, but men do not need to know about it. They do not need to know how and at what cost Bitch manages and knows how to do everything. She is called a vamp, a fatal beauty, a strong personality, a woman without age and prejudice. Any woman can turn into a Bitch. To do this, you just need to want to be successful, rich and, of course, loved. And how to become a Bitch and what knowledge you need to have for this, this book will tell you.
A year has passed since the wiretapping of the American intelligence services on the computers and smartphones of Russian officials and businessmen stopped working. Then China, Europe, Syria and the countries of Latin America began to disappear from the "ether". The White House was at a loss. Under the head of the Department of Telecommunications and Computer Services, the chair swayed like a magnitude nine earthquake. And the blame for everything was some kind of Russian company that appeared out of nowhere with the mocking name "Traceless Hero". For the cover, an image from the pixnio website with a free license without restrictions was used.
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In search of unknown worlds and planets, it is important not to lose the most important thing - love. And if at times it seems that it does not exist, try to find it in the endless path, which is called life. Astronauts, scientists and navigators of the Hermes, Satyr, Triton and Artemis planetary spacecraft find themselves in an incredible situation. The commander of the crews of the caravan of spaceships, Vladimir Bulanov, finds the strength to realize everything that is happening and accept it.
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The idea of the book is a big adventure and a big test. Let's agree right away - we will not spare anyone. Let's guide the heroes through the labyrinth of the most difficult - injuring bodies and souls - battles. We will not give an honest choice, we will force them to make difficult and dangerous decisions. Let them be wrong. Everything will be real. The strong will lose to the weak, and the noble to the vile. Let's leave a small loophole, a barely noticeable chance. If they try, they will endure and, perhaps, they will earn our respect and the right to life in the next book. Cover design Zheynov A.I.
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Borya is a twelve-year-old boy. He lives with his mother, grandmother and father, who is often away from home. Borya is careless in his studies, not strong in sports, not too clean. At school, he is bullied by high school students. The pretty girl doesn't pay attention to him. The boy's interests are limited to computer games and TV. But one evening something gets in his eye and he starts hearing a voice in his head. This voice helps him think about many things and change. He makes new friends and interests. What is this voice? To whom does it belong? You can find out about this by reading the story to the end.
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With two swings of his sword, he destroyed my life. Standing over the bodies of my parents, I swore revenge, no matter what the cost. And if I have to go down to the bottom of the Slums, I will. And then I will rise to the very top and the one who trampled me will answer for everything. Even if I have to find out that there is only one step from the most burning hatred to love. The cover design uses photos from stock photos and depositphotos images. Contains obscene language.
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Future, 2099 A successful businessman, fed up with entertainment, goes with his wife to spend the Christmas holidays in the past. What can help him get back if the failure of the time machine is irreversible? How can a modern man, spoiled by technological progress, survive in the 18th century, return his beloved wife and understand what is the meaning of his life on this earth? The answers to these questions must be found in the virtual labyrinth of time with the help of a precious artifact.
Evgeniya Shatskaya
School of the bitch. Strategy for success in the world of men. step by step technology
Calculation is a great thing, even when it comes to furnishings and furniture. It is worth thinking about whether an expensive sofa will fit into a familiar interior before buying it. Most often, the owner of a new thing gives himself a vow to re-paste the wallpaper, and from the next salary to buy a new table to pair with the purchased sofa, but “dreams, dreams - where is your sweetness?”. And a sofa of extravagant colors is prescribed against the background of old filthy wallpaper, when looking at which the tongue does not turn to pronounce the word "interior". In terms of the annual budget, large purchases are: potatoes and sugar, pasta and meat, sunflower oil and coffee, tea and cigarettes, alcohol and sweets - who loves and eats what more. Products that do not require special storage conditions are best bought in markets and wholesale depots in large quantities at once. This is not only economical (considering that the “cheat” of a grocery store or supermarket, which is near you, is from twenty to forty percent), but also convenient. No need to run for sugar in the rain to a nearby stall or ask for salt from a neighbor. This is not about reserves in case of a nuclear war, but about elementary calculations and foresight. As a bitch, I’ll add that I don’t like to go to the markets because of the heavy bags that I have to carry after “shopping” in Russian, so during “economical trips” I allow myself a small luxury: I hire a taxi or ask a friend (or loved one) a man to help me with shopping. For an additional fee (which still does not compare with the amount saved), the taxi driver will work as a loader.Don't buy stuff that you can get for free. At a video store, you can get a cassette for a third of its cost on the tray, and it will not be a pirated copy of terrible quality. So why spend money if you plan on just one viewing? A good tradition of exchanging cassettes and books saves a lot of money for both participants in the exchange. You can exchange not only things, but also useful acquaintances. You advise a friend of a plumber who "works miracles" for a bottle, and she recommends that you dye your hair in a salon where a friend works who takes money only for paint. The Soviet law "I'm from Tamara" has not been canceled.
The theory of money in an arrangement for a bitch
… You accurately counted how much was, how much was spent, which means you know how much is left. In any case, it should be enough for cigarettes. Lacks! The reason for this phenomenon of nature is that during the act of purchase, a so-called virtual difference arises. Probably, at this moment, some hatches of Time open, where the money falls ...
Evgeny Arsyukhin
I have long noticed that psychologists often suffer from depression and tantrums, and beauty salon workers look terrible because of constant experiments on their own appearance. Economists and accountants are often impractical in everyday matters. Why doesn't knowledge add worldly wisdom to people? Why do doctors lead an unhealthy lifestyle, and super racers get into accidents on ordinary roads? In matters relating to money, in general, it is very difficult to understand. It is not clear why some have them and others do not; do those who have them steal; Does the attitude to money and the ability to earn money depend on age, mental abilities and gender, and much more? When I tried to deal with the issue of money, I came across several misconceptions that "common among the people" and which are very difficult to deal with in order to get to the truth:
- money is something vulgar and dirty, but very necessary;
- big money is not earned honestly;
- money exists in order to save it;
- the more money, the happier the person (this delusion, somehow, very logically coexists with the proverb “Money does not bring happiness”);
- you can be very lucky with money: a rich husband, winning the lottery or an inheritance is a monetary luck that more than half of humanity lives in anticipation of;
- money is not connected with education and intelligence.
Basically, you can go on for a long time. A colleague of mine even came up with a whole theory linking women, money and crime together. Its essence is this: a woman by nature is a greedy and greedy creature, she pushes a man to bring more and more money into the house. But a man really understands that big money is not given in an honest way, so he is forced to join criminal gangs and commit crimes in order to satisfy the needs of his wife (or just his beloved). Forgeries and robberies are committed for the sake of women, it is women who are to blame for the fact that men (beings by nature peaceful and non-greedy) are forced to become criminals. A stupid theory that allows whoever came up with it not to strain too much in making money, because large incomes are a crime. And he won't commit a crime.
The bitchy approach to money is somewhat different from the traditional one and is based not on delusions, but on unwritten laws. That they work, you will be convinced from the first day of their application. Why, I honestly don't know. This is about the same as with the law that the more a woman wants to get married, the more men avoid her. Why? What's the difference, avoid and that's it. So it is with money.
Law one: the less you think about money itself, the more it will be. Deciphering: you should not think about money, but about your favorite business. Greedy and greedy people never make great wealth, and those who are passionate about work or even a hobby earn unexpectedly and a lot. Think about how to do the job better, better than anyone else, and not about the salary, then the idea of raising the salary will come to the boss's mind by itself.
The second law: if you are sad and bad, do not be depressed, but work. Decoding: the more you indulge in your ailments and depressions, the more you are drawn into the pool of self-pity or self-flagellation. Work is a great way to escape from sad thoughts. If the mood is “at zero” - work for two, because when the desired and beloved man appears, there will be no time for work at all. Depression will pass, and the work done in not the best of the periods of life will bring money that you can spend with pleasure already in a good mood.
Law three: there is never enough money, so learn to prioritize areas worth spending it on. Transcription: if you live in a rented apartment, the purchased sofa, of course, will please the eye, but it will cause a lot of trouble and cost when moving. In the village, such purchases are called "buying a pail before the cow."
The fourth law: if the work does not bring any moral or material satisfaction, it must be changed. Decryption: many people work out of habit, not daring to take the leap, try to open their own business. If one day you decide that you deserve more, but do not know what to do, imagine that you won a million in the lottery. What would you do without experiencing financial difficulties? Maybe this is just what is called a vocation?
The fifth law: white envy does not exist, so hide your income level and brag less. Transcription: people are envious, so your success can simply "jinx it." I believe in such things, because many times I myself enthusiastically told my friends about my achievements, and then the deals fell through, or I myself was out of action for a couple of weeks, lying in bed with a purulent sore throat. It is worth learning from the Jews the ability to always cry and be ashamed. Boasting is difficult to win in yourself, but you just have to try a couple of times to the question “how are you?” answer not “excellent”, but “thank you, slowly”, how the attitude towards you will immediately change. They will not ask for a loan and be offended by a refusal, they will not be condemned for a gift that is not too expensive.
Law six: money goes to money. Deciphering: this means the ability not only to earn money, but to invest it so that it works. A rough scheme looks like this: a certain amount is spent on buying a store, the store generates profit, which is spent on increasing the number of goods and buying more expensive goods, expanding retail space, which, in turn, leads to new money.
Law Seven: Keep your eggs in separate baskets.
Decryption: many mistakenly believe that we are talking about big money and their owners, who are mad with fat and do not know where to “stick” wealth. But this law concerns not only money, but also knowledge in any field. Are you sure that tomorrow you will not be fired and how quickly will you find a job in this case? Is there a small reserve in case of illness or change of activity?
Law eight: Women make money on technology. Transcription: history shows that revolutionary discoveries are the prerogative of men, and a woman earns her living with the help of perfected technology. All ways to make money lie on the surface, but a person with entrepreneurial abilities differs from a blind performer in that he comes up with technology. Start small - figure out how to make your work more efficient, what to change, and what to refuse altogether. After some time, you will realize that you have got out of the daily routine and you will be able to look at your work in terms of quality growth. After all, a career is just qualitative leaps on the way to mastering new technologies.
Law nine: try to communicate and work with rich people, watch them. Decryption: in continuation of the previous law, I will tell you a little secret. Watching wealthy people will help you rewire your brain for success and making money. Taking an example from them, you will understand that they are quite ordinary people, the same as you and me, but more hardworking and fanatically believing in success. You will be able to observe the process of birth and implementation of the very technologies that have already been mentioned from the outside. Textbook laws don't work in a real economy. If three different people are given a KAMAZ with goods, then one will make a profit from this, the other will work on “zeros”, and the third should still remain. Living and working next to those who know how to sell any product as efficiently as possible, you get a brilliant opportunity to “not stuff” your own bumps, although, of course, you can’t do without it. Every rich man you see has fallen into the dirt more than once and each time found the strength to start a business from scratch. This also needs to be learned, as well as the belief that sooner or later everything will work out if you do not sit still and constantly experiment.
Law tenth: do not save, but earn more. Deciphering: petty savings are not only time-consuming, but also extremely detrimental to making money. Learn to count your time and actions that really bring income. Let me give you an example: it will take you twenty hours, or even more, to knit a sweater for yourself (and it is still not known what will happen). The wool you bought costs ten or fifteen dollars. The same sweater in the store costs thirty dollars. It turns out that for twenty hours of work you earn fifteen dollars. Ask yourself the question, if you spent this time on work, lingering in the office, how much would your salary increase? The same twenty hours could be spent looking for a new client or improving work with old ones (depending, of course, on what you do). The second option for empty and petty savings is the search for the most profitable option. When my mother calls dry cleaners for half a day asking about their prices, she does not take into account that the maximum difference will be twenty to thirty percent (that is, a dollar or two), and she will have to go to the cheapest dry cleaner on the other side of the city by two modes of transport. Is this economy? How much time is wasted! No, I'm not asking you to give up your hobbies and enjoy your time with your friends and turn into a hard-working workaholic. But why waste time without getting moral or material satisfaction from what you have done?
Of course, I did not come up with all these laws myself, I subtracted some, others I spied, “tweaked” for myself. But gradually they began to "work", and my attitude towards money changed. I began to perceive them as something alive, like a pet. Money will never go into the hands of a person who treats them with disdain. But to someone who only thinks about them, they will not go either. Money is an indicator of our society. “If you are so smart, why are you so poor” - and that says it all. Money is a measure of talent and ability to manage people, an assessment of your life positions and an indicator that you have succeeded as a person. Money is hard work from morning to evening and the inability to enjoy what you have earned because of the eternal turnover that there is no one to entrust. Happiness and wealth are different things, therefore, if you want big money (that is, to succeed), you will definitely earn it, and happiness - you can be happy without money. Until you get rich, is it worth it to be upset because of an empty wallet? No, such sorrows are not for bitches. In extreme cases, there are always men who are ready to provide material assistance to their beloved. Being a woman is great! Jewish men have one interesting prayer, every morning they say: "Thank you, God, that you did not let me be born a woman." When I first heard this, I laughed. It had to be something like this! What I would never want is to trade places with any man. A woman is born, and a woman is made a bitch. And money plays an important role in this cycle ...
Appearance and style
My face is my wealth
... From vinegar - they bite ... from mustard - they are upset, from onions - they are disingenuous, from wine - they blame, and from baking - they become kinder. What a pity that no one knows about this ...
Do you like how you look in photos? No, not the ones made in the studio, with poses and smiles "made to order", I'm talking about photos in the company of friends, at work. How many times have you seen your face on them, which seems not to be yours at all? Often the picture seems hopelessly spoiled if somewhere in the corner your angry or offended physiognomy lurks when you thought that you would not get into the frame. If there are such pictures in your album, then I can’t console you with anything, I’m sorry, I can’t. The unfortunate facial expression that you consider random is your usual facial expression, and the ostentatious smile is just a mask that you cannot wear for a long time.
The first time I thought about how I look from the outside, if I don’t watch my face, when a friend told me that he met me on the street, but I didn’t notice him. When I asked why he didn’t come up himself, the guy hesitated and replied that it seemed awkward for him to bother me when I was upset or angry. Comparing all the events of that day, I came to the conclusion that I did not have any disorders and could not have, on the contrary, I was returning with a long-awaited purchase under my arm from the store. So, it turns out that my facial features themselves add up to a gloomy displeased mask? And then I began to look at my colleagues. A strange thing was revealed to me: as soon as it seemed to a woman that no one was watching her, her face began to take on a completely different expression. Either at that moment she began to think about her difficult female fate, or to envy someone, or maybe she was angry with her bosses, but her pretty face instantly turned into a sad mask from the kabuki theater, wrinkles, folds appeared, her eyes dimmed, and the body involuntarily went limp in the chair. The second conclusion that I made from my observations: almost every woman, approaching the mirror, takes off the mask of resentment and discontent and looks into it with a half-smile, in extreme cases with strict coquetry, straightens her hair and makeup, turns around and ... again turns into an evil mymra . This is what happens? For yourself, your beloved, and a smile, and coquetry, but for others - the gloomy muzzle of the “grumpy” evil for the whole world, which all the men abandoned at once? The same picture is in front of shop windows (these are stupid men who think that we are probably staring at clothes). I will also tell you a short but instructive story about how a very good friend of mine mocked women. Once, having accidentally noticed that a woman could not sit calmly (without grimaces and grimaces) in front of a large mirror, he began to seat them just like that, of course, on purpose, and then, with “internal laughter” (as he himself admitted), he watched how a certain female person begins to play: trying on various images, evaluating how to take a glass of wine more gracefully, how to light a cigarette more elegantly. He says the sight is hilarious to the point of insanity. So what does this indicate? A woman at this moment watches her face and thinks about the impression she makes on others. At some point, all the memories and observations formed in my head into a complete, complete picture and a decision arose: that's it, stop walking around with such a face as if everyone around me owes a lot of money, stop spoiling yourself and scare men, stop being offended by the injustice of the whole world to me. In the end, I already decided that I am the best, beautiful and smart, I'm a bitch, after all!
From that day on, I began to take care of my face. It cunningly did not obey, by itself folding into an offended mine or an evil mask, but I did not give up. In order to somehow discipline facial expressions, I had to resort to tricks - to please myself with purchases, think about pleasant things, sing funny songs, keep my mouth in a half smile (which, to be honest, at first looked like a cramp). After three days of such training, my colleagues began to suspect that I had a crazy affair that I kept a secret. I didn’t try to convince anyone, but I concluded: for some reason people think that a satisfied facial expression is certainly connected with the fact that a person is in love and has success with the opposite sex. Therefore, it can be assumed that there is another addiction, in which, looking at your contented expression, men begin to show increased interest in you. So an explanation of the reason why one should “wear a face” took shape in my head, because without it cosmetics and any outfits are useless. And the mask of discontent by the age of thirty-five is fixed by wrinkles, getting rid of which will also have to spend effort and money (wrinkle creams are not cheap). Wouldn't it be better to take control of the face right now in order to become a real bitch in everything?
To begin with, the muscles of the face must be completely relaxed: the eyebrows should not converge on the bridge of the nose, the lips should be drawn in, the eyes should be squinted (if you have vision problems, go to the optician, we will talk about choosing glasses in a separate chapter). Now smile a little, lift the outer corners of the eyebrows so that the skin above the eyes stretches a little.
Practice with your eyes, proudly raise your head, and - forward, towards new achievements. On the way to work, think about something pleasant, for example, what you will wear for the New Year (Birthday, March 8) and what effect it will have, remember the hugs of your loved one (even if he himself has long evaporated - it does not matter, a new one will appear) . Play, in the end, as a seductress, because the only and desired one can be any of the ones you meet. Entering the store, joke with the female salesperson. You'll see, she immediately takes off her "mask", thaws and chooses the best for you. Wearing a face is an art, you can’t learn it overnight, but if you don’t constantly remind yourself of this, then the sullenly offended grimace will return again. This is how we are arranged: we do not notice good things, we worry about everything in a row. But a satisfied facial expression has the opposite effect: it improves mood. The Americans, with their stupid smile, are still right in some ways: if you smile all the time and say that everything is “ok” with you, you soon begin to believe in it, and not only your mood improves, but things start to go better .
Finally, I will reveal to you one more secret of a satisfied face, if all the previous ones did not help. I applied it on myself, it is the only one that helped me. No matter how hard I tried, as soon as I tried to control facial expressions, all the same, the mymra sitting inside crawled out because of quarrels with my beloved and problems at work. At such moments, you think: “What the hell do I need this for, if everyone around is spoiling my life on purpose?” And then I decided that every person in life should have something uniquely positive. It can be anything: a hobby, a dog, a love of shopping or home improvement, walks in nature or something else (you yourself know better what exactly makes you happy?). And then, thinking about it, I decided for myself that I would definitely buy a dog, and not just any, but the dog of my dreams. Since then, at the mere memory of my dog, a smile appears on my face. And not only me...
I love my dog very much. For the owners of these amazing creatures, my confession will be nothing new. Everyone loves their dogs. It's just that my dog has one specialty - it cheers people up. The English Bulldog is a funny breed in itself, from the crease on the nose to the pig tail. But my white cuttlefish (I sometimes call her that because of her clumsy gait and white color), and I dreamed about her since childhood and bought, failing to save up the entire amount, on credit, is different (to all the "fun things" of her appearance) and irrepressible energy, multiplied by a choleric character, which, with a weight of almost thirty kilograms, looks simply hilarious. You walk with Masha (that's her name) down the street, and towards you - a gloomy woman, looks at a clumsy puppy and starts to smile. In the store, an unfamiliar guy throws a random glance at a dog sitting "scattered", turns away, then looks again, squirts with laughter and winks ... at the dog! The mask of concern and fatigue subsides in people, because looking at this cute come to life toy (as my husband says: “Did you see a live Pokémon? Now you will see!”), It is simply impossible to hold back a smile. I have a magical dog that has an amazing ability to cheer up everyone in a few moments, and first of all, she did magic with me, with my face. Thanks to her, I did not stop smiling, even when I felt bad, sad and wanted to drink on my own. By the way, I met my husband thanks to Masha and I do not regret our meeting. With all my heart I wish you to find your secret of “wearing a face”. But remember: wearing is one thing, and when a good mood itself shines in every dash, it's another. Have you seen a cat's face when a cat smells some kind of treat? Now stand in front of a mirror and draw. Remember? Women are not descended from monkeys. Darwin meant men in his theory, and women are feline, with slanting eyes, grace and a strange combination of independence and desire to cuddle. The bitch is, firstly, the embodiment of a wild cat in human form, in which every gesture speaks of independence, inner strength, beauty and anticipation of an early prey, and, secondly, it is a gentle fluffy cat that will purr, curled up on its knees, and will show claws only in the most extreme case.
Beauty parlor at home
What a strange day today! And yesterday everything went as usual! Maybe it was me who changed overnight? Let me remember: this morning, when I got up, was it me or was it not me? Looks like it's not me anymore!
Lewis Carroll "Alice in Wonderland"
A bitch is a busy woman, so she does not waste time at a beauty salon when she can not do it. Some procedures with equal success can be carried out while sitting in front of the TV or lying in the bathroom. I want to immediately warn that men should be strictly prohibited from entering a home beauty parlor. Why would he see your unknown smeared face? Order in the apartment and female beauty should be on their own. But there are things that are absolutely incompatible with the idea of a bitch: a bitch on all fours with a doormat in her hands or with a face lined with cucumbers. So let's not debunk the myths about us with our own non-bitchy appearance, because a bitch is also a sorceress. Let him think that a magic wand is hidden somewhere, with a wave of which you become younger and more beautiful.
In any beauty salon you will be offered to do a “miraculous” facial cleansing. Cleansing smoothes or completely eliminates defects, tightens pores and makes the face look younger, cleaning is especially recommended for owners of oily skin. In fact, there is nothing complicated in this procedure, and it is quite possible to do it at home on your own. It is done like this: a mixture of honey, egg yolk and olive oil (in equal proportions) is applied to clean skin, and a wet and hot (required!) linen or cotton napkin is applied on top. You need to hold the mask for about twenty minutes, changing napkins so that they remain hot all the time. Then wash with hot water. We steamed the skin, and now we proceed to the cleaning itself: beat the shaving cream so that you get a glass of foam, add a teaspoon of soda and apply it on your face. Next, dipping your fingers in fine salt, massage your entire face for about ten minutes, avoiding the areas around the eyes. The skin of the face should turn a little red. After cleansing, wash your face with warm water and apply a nourishing cream that you usually use. If you clean in the evening, you won't recognize yourself in the morning. The skin will be tender, even, without scales and enlarged pores. In terms of efficiency, skin cleansing is comparable only to such a well-known invention as ...
Massage is one of the most pleasant procedures, which, no doubt, is loved by all women. A complete body massage kit includes: a man, a picture book on massage techniques, massage oil or lotion. It is more difficult with facial massage, it is not so easy to do it correctly so that the effect is positive, because new wrinkles may appear due to incorrect movements. The value of massage is that it “accelerates” the blood, so more nutrients are supplied to the cells of the face. And if you nourish the skin from the outside, for example, with masks, then the face will immediately look younger and fresher. But you can’t overdo it: my neighbor somehow gave herself a massage, but overdid it: due to too much pressure and pinching, her skin became bruised. Then for a week she was at home on sick leave so that her colleagues would not think that her husband was beating her. If you are doing a massage, first cleanse your face, apply cream or oil, then rub your palms well and with light tapping movements, with fingertips, go all over your face so that the skin warms up, and only then proceed to the massage. Remember: circular movements are made so that the skin does not move (the movements of the fingers are approximately the same as rubbing the cream), otherwise wrinkles will only increase. Direction of movement: from the nose and the center of the chin - to the ears, from the lips - from the bottom up along the nasolabial folds, from the center of the forehead - to its edges, from the center of the neck - to the sides. Very gently massage the skin under the eyes towards the temples, and the upper eyelid - from the outer edge - to the nose. Massage is a miracle cure that can only be compared with…
Bathhouse: my friends and I have a tradition of going to the bathhouse a couple of times a month. After the bath, the whole body becomes so light, as if you have lost a few kilograms, and the skin becomes smooth, fresh and elastic. A woman's trip to a bath or sauna is fundamentally different from a man's. The purpose of the men's bath is not so much to take a steam bath, but to crackle "for life", make ritual libations or invite "massage girls" there. When women go to the sauna, they perform a beauty session and share their experience in this area. A healing session with traditional tea drinking lasts, as a rule, two or three hours. We take honey with us to spread it in the steam room, oil to drip it on hot stones, birch or willow brooms. As it turned out, the tradition of women's bathing days was not invented by us. In Japan, geisha set aside a whole day to steam themselves to fame. When I learned about how they were soaring, I became envious of black envy. Imagine a bath in three stages - bathing with massage and rubbing with a hard mitt, then relaxing on the couch and aromatic bath. A Japanese woman climbed into a barrel with cedar sawdust and a mixture of herbs (there could be up to 60 species). The barrel was gradually heated, herbs and sawdust exhaled aroma, impregnating the body of a Japanese woman with it. Here is the beauty secret without super lotions and creams. In a modern sauna, it is difficult to carry out such a procedure, so we came up with the idea of making brooms from herbs and laying them under ourselves on the shelves in the steam room. I won’t talk about the effect, but when we go out with the whole company (mind you, without makeup!), then the employees of the health center start joking, are we not witches performing rejuvenation rituals in the steam room? Funny? I, too, because everything ingenious, firstly, is simple, and, secondly, has long been invented. A bath is not only the secret of youth and beauty, but also of health. The body is cleansed of toxins, metabolism is stimulated and normalized, fatigue is relieved and even depression is treated. How much time a week do you spend hanging out with your girlfriends? And if you transfer them to the sauna? The same gossip and "women's" joys, only with health benefits. Again - pay attention - a bitchy approach: try to do everything without forgetting about yourself, your beloved. When going to the bath, take a large terry towel and a cap (or a small towel to tie your head with them) with you, because the high temperature has a bad effect on ...
Hair is the pride of any bitch. You probably expect me to teach you: wash and comb, lay out variegated strands into greasy, brittle, dry, sparse and thick? I won't, because you can read about it in any women's magazine. It is beneficial for shampoo manufacturers when they use it often, and even buy a balm. I only buy professional hair products that are sold in hairdressing companies, because ordinary shampoos are much inferior in quality to "salon" shampoos. Men like lush luxurious hair, flying strands that are not stuck together from varnish, and, in the end, they just like clean hair and the absence of dandruff. Care products - the sea. And what is the result? Overgroomed strands, greasy at the base and brittle at the ends. Hair does not like frequent washing, because of this they lose moisture and natural grease. You will probably object: on all the vials it is written that the shampoo is suitable for frequent use. Naturally, what would you write if you produced shampoo yourself?
Try to wash your hair no more than twice a week, gradually accustom your hair to this schedule. I have long hair, so my signature secret is an oil mask. Any odorless vegetable oil (preferably olive) is slightly warmed up, poured half a plastic cup (choose it in size so that the whole braid fits) and lower your hair into it. You fix the glass on the back of your head with a plastic bag and a hairpin, and you walk, the longer the better. If there is no time, fix the glass for half an hour while you take a bath. When you take off the glass, I assure you that you will not find oil in it: “hungry” hair “swallowed” it in one gulp. After the oil mask, you wash your hair as usual, but the hair becomes heavier and shiny, less split at the ends. By the way, what do you think of curlers? I hope you guess that a bitch in front of a man will never get them out of the nightstand? After all, curlers are the joy of housewives, they even “in curlers, and on top - a scarf” go to the store. Curlers are the funeral of a bitch. If you absolutely cannot do without them, buy thermal curlers - they curl your hair faster. Luxurious curls are obtained if you wind your hair according to the method of our grandmothers, on papillots: on a cord 20–25 cm long, wind a strip of paper 5–7 cm wide to the thickness that you want to get a curl, wind the strand (but not to the very roots, so that you could collect the curled hairpins with an elastic band and tie them over with a scarf. When the curl is twisted, you tie the ends of the ropes for fixation. It turns out a stylish hairstyle in which you can even sleep, because the papillots are soft, neither your head nor ...
The neck, which, as you know, gives out age. I read this “terrible” female secret in a distant adolescence in some book. And indeed, looking at the singers and actresses, you understand - it gives out. What to do? If you have wrinkles since childhood, then the structure of the neck, alas, cannot be corrected; sleeping without a pillow is also not an option. Simply, do not forget about her, but you need to take care of her, as well as about her face. Mask - on the face and neck. Contrasting compress, cream, tonic - nothing will harm. For the neck, beauty salons will not offer you anything new. And they will not offer you to accept ...
A bath, which the bitch, following the example of Cleopatra, respects. Bath with aromatic oil, foam, tea, milk, salt, herbal decoction, oil, honey. What the bitch does not come up with! And if you take your favorite book or a glass of wine with you to the bath? Apply a face mask, soak in warm water at your pleasure, and let fatigue and problems go away with the water. Queen Cleopatra took baths with warm donkey milk. For a modern woman, this is, to put it mildly, a bit expensive. Therefore, I offer two simple and inexpensive recipes. Recipe? 1: to swim in the "milk rivers", tie two glasses of powdered milk in a bag of several layers of gauze and hang on the tap so that the stream flows through it. When the bath is filled, the bag will become almost empty, and the powdered milk will dissolve in the water, and will not float on the surface in lumps if you poured it directly into the bath. To make milk foam, add a little bath foam to the milk powder. Recipe? 2: take half a glass of powdered milk, potato starch and wholemeal flour or bran, mix, wrap in several layers of gauze, tie it tight and use the bag that turned out instead of a washcloth. In addition, you do not need to use shower gel, but if the skin is dry, put a few drops of olive oil on the bag. Such a washcloth replaces a scrub, a mask that tightens pores, and a whitening cream. The skin becomes smooth, soft and silky to the touch. After a bath, it is very useful to drink tea, according to an old folk tradition, to restore lost moisture. Before you get out of the bath young and tender, like Aphrodite, stay for a couple of minutes under a cool shower so that the pores close and the skin becomes more elastic, because it has long been proven that for many women one of the means to preserve youth is ...
Cold, which can be both a friend and an enemy at the same time. Diane de Poitiers took ice baths and looked much younger than her years to a ripe old age. True, there is one caveat: the cold is a friend only to those who do not have too dry, thin and delicate skin. But even for sissies, a contrast shower is useful. For those who tolerate the effects of cold well (this can be seen even by the condition of the skin in the cold), the following are indicated for use: ice cubes for rubbing the skin in the morning, washing with freshly fallen snow (I think, obviously, that the snow should not be urban). So, who said beauty can't be frozen? From the cold, additional blood enters the skin, so after the procedure I recommend applying a cream or ...
Genre: Psychology, Language: ru Annotation: This book is not about all the feminine things that are stored in a dressing table drawer or wardrobe. "Higher School" is the ability to manage oneself and people, to soberly assess the situation and turn it in one's favor (that's why it is the HIGHEST). The management game is the most exciting of all that I ...
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Genre: Psychology, Language: ru Annotation: Before you is a complete collection of "bitchy writings". This is exactly the kind of book I needed fifteen years ago, and that's why I wrote it. Bit by bit, from books, from people and from my (not always sweet) experience, I learned to live, build relationships with men and “do business”. People who knew...
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Genre: Psychology, Language: ru Annotation: A handbook is not a reference book, not a cheat sheet, but your friend. Yes, no more, no less. You can always take her with you, chat with her when you are bored, she will cheer you up if something happens and give you advice without pursuing her own interests, without envy and jealousy. Exactly …
Genre: Psychology, Language: ru Annotation: You are holding a book that should not be shown to men under any circumstances. Being a modern woman means being a Bitch, but men do not need to know about it. They do not need to know how and at what cost Bitch manages and knows how to do everything. She is called a vamp, a fatal beauty, a strong personality, ...
Genre: Psychology, Language: ru Annotation: Jews can be loved or hated, but their successes are obvious. The list of the richest people published by Forbes speaks eloquently about their financial achievements. On attitudes towards education - lists of applicants from the most prestigious universities. There are legends about their ability not to survive, but to live fully in any, even the most difficult, conditions. …
- it is good to protect oneself, not relying on a partner;
- talk about children in an abstract way, without being tied to his candidacy;
- to show the seriousness of the attitude to motherhood and the desire to have children before such and such an age (let him understand this: if he does not mature before that time, then there will be another);
- if a flight has already happened, sit together, weigh all the pros and cons and outline a further strategy on this issue;
- in no case should you put ultimatums, express your wishes on resolving the issue very gently, deliberatively;
- do not pretend to be injured and offended and do not show that you are doing a favor;
- to have an abortion as early as possible, preferably in a good clinic in a non-surgical way (unfortunately, they are not done everywhere) or mini. Remember, you can't skimp on this. And explain it to him.
And here is a joyful moment. You have decided to have a baby! You proudly walk with a protruding belly and turn up your nose from fried or sweet. Again, do not worry if a man does not show proper care or grumbles that you do not pay attention to him, has become stupid from chronic toxicosis and is swollen from sleep and overeating. It's not easy for him either. Only differently. Firstly, everything is not as good with sex as before, and he even begins to suspect you of frigidity. Secondly, his head is full of how to make money for doctors, childbirth, things and your food. Thirdly, again, there is no child for him yet. That is, he knows that there is somewhere, but he does not see beyond your swollen belly. Even after the birth, he will not immediately believe, so do not force things. Try to be affectionate and attentive, because fatherhood is a heavy blow to the male psyche. According to my observations, many men begin to walk from their wife to the fullest precisely when she is pregnant or the child has just been born. Why? Everything is very simple. Even if a man is not a sissy, he still remains a big child. All men are selfish by nature and love to get all the attention only to them, the only one. And here it is still unclear what and it is not clear where, and so much time and attention is devoted to this something. Even the fact that this is his child does not convince a man that they have not forgotten about him, they love him the same way or more, only in his own child. A woman perceives a child as a part of her man, which she reverently grows in herself, gives birth so that her beloved is happy and proud of her offspring. A man often looks at a child as a small despotic rival who selects his beloved woman, takes all her time, makes her collapse from fatigue and not think about sex. Well, why not take a walk here? After all, a mistress does not have such troubles, she is all in love and is always ready. So they leave their wives with a small child for the sake of some tricks that caught the moment. The moral of this fable is this: we cannot change their opinion about children, which means that we must take it into account and try to adapt to it. A woman who does not burden a man with unplanned pregnancies and whining about the time to get married and have children gets married faster, and trying to “twist her stomach” remains a single mother. Indeed, it is extremely suspicious, from a male point of view, if a woman does not behave like everyone else. There must be some kind of trick. There is a passion to unravel your cunning tactics and win. And conquers. Triple attention and perseverance, affection and beautiful promises. Agree, this is better than proving how wonderful it is to be the father of your child. And more worthy of a bitch.
And when you decide to have the desired offspring, do not forget that there is already a small child next to you. Let him be much older than the unborn and want from you not a milk porridge, but a chop and a striptease session for the night, but the meaning is about the same. We must not forget about the older child, paying more attention to the younger. Now you have to be torn between the eldest and the youngest. And sometimes sacrifice the interests of the child, so as not to lose her husband. Hire a babysitter and arrange an outing to the theatre, or take a little screaming "demon" to mom and organize a candlelit dinner and sex until the morning. And, for God's sake, no dressing gowns with worn slippers! And go on a diet. Or do you think the fact that you're just postpartum will make your saggy belly and fat thighs more attractive? Not at all. And women who will gladly take your man into their hands have not decreased at all over the past year. So get your feet up and move on. Remember, a child will never keep him from leaving for another. Especially when he is still small, and more like a stubborn Tamagotchi: eat, sleep, change diapers, walk, swim. And so on ad infinitum. Anyone will run away from this. And arguments about a fatherless child will not help you here. I love manipulation and willingly resort to it. This is a bitch weapon. But manipulation with the use of a child is dishonest and cruel. Do not resort to such methods, even if the risk of losing a man is very high. Perhaps he will remain, but he will always remember and never forgive you. And you want to live the rest of your life like this? I don't want. Because when I have children, I will know for sure that in the event of a divorce, they will stay with me, I will know that I can feed and raise them even without a father. And I also know that these are my children, and this is our female superiority over men. We ourselves choose fathers for our children and are sure that they are ours (of course, if they haven’t been replaced at the maternity hospital). And let men suffer, wondering if these are their children, let them peer - is it similar? - and save up money for genetic testing. Perhaps everything. And finally, remember that a child is the greatest gift that you can give a man, it is an honor that he receives. A child from a beautiful and smart woman has every chance of becoming the same. Isn't it the kind of children that men dream of?
Very smart men - no need to be afraid
For every wise man there is a fool, from whom he is crazy.
B. Krutier
Most women make the mistake of believing that it's hard to get along with a smart man if you're not that smart. Real life examples show that this is the case. The wife is a professor, and the husband is a professor, for example. But if you dig deeper, it turns out that the future professors met in a student hostel, when there was no question of professorship. The young woman helped her husband take exams, and he nursed the child when his wife wrote her dissertation. It turns out that the example of the “smart union” is not entirely successful. Because the union was formed before its members grew wiser.
Put yourself in the place of a smart man. Why does he need the same as himself? Who then will he teach and educate? Before whom to seem the smartest and greatest? If a woman is as smart, it's boring. There will be no admiring eyes and open mouth in surprise. Or maybe she should start teaching herself, and point out mistakes. Any man loves to be listened to and admired by what he hears, regardless of the intellectual development of the narrator and the content of the conversation. The advantage of listening to a smart man is the opportunity to learn something useful from conversations. If you don't understand most of it, it's okay. You will be readily forgiven for stupid questions. And they will answer in detail, with sense and arrangement. Because smart men love to teach, and therefore those who love to learn.
Not scared anymore?
Then remember the rules for dealing with "very smart":
- do not try to show awareness in a field in which he clearly understands better, especially if it is something like nuclear physics or discrete mathematics;
- Be able to entertain and distract. There are enough people who want to discuss his work issues in production. Maybe he constantly talks about work because no one reminded him of the rest? And we will remind...
Get used to and accept the role of a student. And in everything. A man who is used to being listened to and obeyed will tell you about how to wash or cook, dress and behave;
- do not mess with "smart", but very highly specialized men. In all other matters, they are such blockheads that it simply becomes scary how this person lived to such an age;
Prove that you are also smart, but in something else. Then you will have an area in which no one will climb. For example, housework or your work, which has nothing to do with his occupation;
- do not try to become his consultant and colleague. He has a dime a dozen of those at work. You risk becoming one of many;
Forget about cheap female tricks. With a smart man, they will not pass. The game should be subtle and doubly thought out.
Well, perhaps that's all. The shortest chapter on smart men has been written. You're already lucky if you've met one. What is there to smear, what to teach? He himself will teach, if you have the courage to listen to the end.
Creative approach to a creative man
Actor Sidorov played well in the first act of the play. And then he got drunk and in the second act delightfully played the first.
Draw my portrait. It's flattering. Portraits are always flattering. No pimples for you, a good angle, a smart and seductive look. Reveling in yourself is ugly, but there is no better way than waking up in the morning, in a bad mood, looking at a successful portrait and becoming the same. Young, beautiful and happy. Put on seductive eyes, make your eyes sparkle, wink at yourself before going out, jump on your heels and model walk ... How many times a look from the portrait kept me from old jeans, sneakers, sleepy eyes and facial expressions "how tired I am of you all." As the day begins, so it will end. Thanks to the portrait and the artist.
They sing me a song. Slow, terribly flattering, beautiful, romantic baritone. I sit and melt, realizing that I am falling in love not with him, but with his voice and the words of the song, which declare me the most desirable, for which everything can be done. His eyes look only at me, and now the whole restaurant is jealous, realizing that this song is not for them. On one of these evenings, I realized that to create a hit, it’s enough to pick up a pleasant melody and write words that are as flattering to female pride as “Because you can’t be so beautiful in the world” or “I’ll give my soul to the devil for a night with you.” Success is guaranteed. The song will sound from every stall, and the customers will stand in line for the serenade of the handsome prince. Especially since it's so inexpensive.
I never wrote poetry. Rather, they did not write "on time". Probably, this is a feature of human nature - not to write poetry when it's good. But after parting (if I ran away, not him), the men were happy to portray me in not too folding verses. More precisely, not even me, but their feelings for my person. For them it was much more important to portray what is commonly called the inner world, but few people are interested. This is the difference between great poets and those who wrote poetry to me. The great ones could express their feelings in such a way that it would seem to every person who cannot compose that he wrote it himself. Another secret of success and genius? No, just an experience of communicating with creative people.
What is bohemian? How would you explain it in a simpler way… If, according to Karl Marx, Bohemia is a part of the “superstructure” of society, into which workers of any mental labor and employees, that is, everything except the proletariat, fit in just as harmoniously. Accordingly, what kind of society, such a superstructure. A Moscow musician is very different from a labukh from a provincial town, and a labukh is very different from a village harmonist. Differs in income level, professionalism and manners, but not in approach to life.
What is the peculiarity of the worldview of a creative person? First of all, in obsession with one's talent and all the factors that can promote it or, conversely, "bury it forever." Try to talk with an artist about something other than his art, with a musician - not about music. It will take at most fifteen minutes, and the conversation will slide down to the discussion of a favorite topic. Naturally, you will be required to be the most ardent connoisseur of his talent; a creative man will not tolerate another approach - neglect, criticism or ridicule. His creation, if it is not a banal “earning”, is the most expensive brainchild, his heart and soul, turned inside out. Any criticism is like spitting from the Eiffel Tower.
A creative person is constantly looking for something and suffers. Do we not know that in this state men often begin to drink. I was always amazed at this interesting way of dealing with the outside world and the protest of the creative soul. The favorite occupation of the Soviet creative beau monde peacefully migrated to Russian reality. As one of my friends says: “Have you tried to work?” A person who works gets tired, gets carried away. He doesn’t want to drink much and he wants to, and once, by and large, there is a lot of work to do. There is no time not only to drink, but also to get sick, and even sleep. Stupid depressions fly out of my head. Did you try to work? This is what creative people have not tried. Or they tried, but they really didn’t like this activity. Therefore, behind the mask of poets and writers, musicians, screenwriters and artists, there is a bunch of mediocre lazy people who hide behind the search for themselves and the improvement of their own talent from condemnation for parasitism. They are not understood and not recognized, they are very fond of remembering that glory comes after death and talent must be hungry. The “creative intellectual” is angry at competitors and an ungrateful public, at his mediocrity, which is not spoken about aloud, and your disinterestedness and untalentedness. The paradox of the worldview of an unrecognized genius is that he despises everyone who does not shine with talents, and hates those who are more talented or more successful. He despises money, but dreams of big fees. He hates the idea that he is not talented, and he will never admit it to himself in order to be realized in something else. Or greatness, or complete vegetation. There is no middle ground for a creative man, at least he thinks so. In fact, she is. To paint "stupid things" for sale for the sake of the bad taste of the masses and to pore over great, unappreciated masterpieces; act in episodes and dream of the role of Hamlet; indulge in a restaurant with the idea of the Big Stage. A small but stable income and the position of an errand boy. No matter how the restaurant musician cries about his hard lot, believe me, he will never go to work full time, he will never become an entrepreneur, even if he has two higher (not at all musical) educations. Free work schedule, stable income and easy, but such rare, big money from wealthy admirers of his talent. Easy money spoils. Anyone who has tasted the sweet taste of a freebie will never earn hard, with his hands or his head. He will look for another freebie, even if it takes a lot of time, during which he could make good money doing something else. A creative person hates wealth, but is forced to bow before its "carriers", because money is recognition. If a talented person (or who considers himself as such) has no money, then everyone who has them is ignorant moneybags. But despite the fact that talent, according to someone invented laws, creates masterpieces only for the hungry, creative people still really want money. You have to sing songs for the rich and draw portraits with their nasty faces. Squeezing lips from hatred, talent goes to bow to capital.
Having connected fate with a creative man, you run the risk of acquiring an evil and not at all a genius. The innate maternal instinct pushes us into the arms of the young and seeking, who, it seems, will become great a little more. Isn't it easier to conquer those who have already become famous? Endless fuss with young (and not so) talents, their maintenance and care, endless creative crises and depressions, drunkenness and shaggy companies in the apartment. Even the muse will not tolerate this. Yes, and you must admit, one thing is the muse of Salvador Dali, and the other is Vasya Pupkin. Do you know what's the difference? The fact that Vasya Pupkin's muse works for two until her husband becomes famous (the chance that this will happen is negligible), earning not only food, housing and things, but also canvases and paints, exhibitions and "going out ”, positive reviews. In addition, creative natures are so fickle that at any moment they can report with a calm and spiritual expression that another muse has been found.
Advice from a bitch: look only at those whose talent was appreciated not only by you. Conquer the geniuses, not their pitiful shadows. Money is the measure of talent. The time of poor "giftedness" is over. Someone may argue with me, but I decided so for myself.
Men and animals. How to please your owner and pet
To find out who is in charge in the house, get a dog. She will definitely indicate the leader. If her answer does not suit you, get a hamster and organize, together with him, an independent opposition.
If the hamster does not support you, get a parrot. And let him, as a symbol of freedom, fly around the house and shit on everything along with this despotic power.
A bitch chooses animals as clothes or a man. Can you imagine a bitch with a mongrel? Or a bitch with a hamster? It's so banal that a real bitch would never allow herself to do this. Her pets are as bright individuals as she is. They should be stylish and preferably smart. Breed, coat length and size are not so important. Let it be an albino dog, a cockatoo or a tame one, but this animal should be non-standard, catch the eye, complement your image. The choice may not even be quite usual for a woman, for example, a tarantula or a scorpion, or a quite ordinary-looking dog or cat, which you will teach to perform tricks and unusual commands. In any case, you choose. Just think well about what you really like, because loving the chosen one is a prerequisite. And realistically estimate how much time you can spend on caring for an animal. Dirty pets and the apartment make a very unpleasant impression.
Now let's turn to men and their pets. The appearance and character of a pet can say a lot about its owner, not to mention the fact that animals copy the owner's character traits and weaknesses. There is no need to exaggerate, if his dog wrote in your shoes, this does not mean that his owner suffers from enuresis. But about the bad manners of the dog, which is the result of laziness or weakness of the owner, this speaks. The man succumbed to weakness and bought a puppy, and then did not begin to educate and train him himself, but regretted the money for a specialist. If the dog is not accustomed to order, then the owner is a slob or a slob. Heavily spoiled dogs are often found in men who have not quite matured, as well as in men with a sexual orientation or effeminate, weak-willed men. Cruelty in the treatment of animals indicates a vicious and unrestrained character. After all, hitting a defenseless pet is doubly mean. In addition, such people are cowardly and will never fight a strong opponent. But to humiliate and beat the weak, including a woman, is easy and without remorse. So be careful, tomorrow you will be in the place of the dog. An expensive and well-groomed dog speaks of a stable prosperity and seriousness of a man, and good training indicates that a man loves order and can manage not only animals. If the owner of the house is a dog, and not the owner, you have a potential henpecked. The decision to get a dog, if a man lives alone, suggests that: either he was brought up with animals from childhood and has no idea how to live without them; either he is lonely, but there is no suitable candidate for living together from familiar women; or a man is quite normal, has long dreamed of a dog, can take responsibility and fulfill obligations, his decision to get a dog is conscious and weighed. After all, as Exupery wrote: "We are responsible for those whom we have tamed." For me, the most negative characteristic of a person is the rejection of an animal or saving on its feeding and health. I didn’t calculate my strength, I’m very busy at work, the animal has grown stupid or vicious - the reasons can be different, you can justify anything, but if you decide to have a pet, you are responsible for this animal. Love for animals is also an indicator of how much a person is able to love someone and take care of him, how kind, open, compassionate he is.
Animals are a hobby, and not the worst if you also love animals. Cats are turned on by men who are lazy or busy at work, because there is less trouble with them. In addition, cats are preferred by men who are apathetic, sissy or independent, resembling the cats themselves in character. Cat owners do not like importunity, because cats are not so annoying and are more lazy. You will find a small aquarium with simple unpretentious inhabitants in the apartment of a man who does not like to strain and stand out from the crowd. A beautiful aquarium with exotic fish, newts or frogs indicates that you have a creative person in front of you, thinking outside the box, but quite organized and able to control himself. The more neglected the aquarium and its inhabitants, the more impulsive its owner. This is an optional person, often changing hobbies and activities. Hamsters, budgerigars and guinea pigs are turned on by not very smart men, lazy, weak-willed and phlegmatic, often sensitive and soft-bodied, and rats are people who do not like to bother with daily duties, often cheerful and reckless. Beautiful exotic lizards and parrots live in the apartment of a man who is a leader by nature, bright and interesting, who loves to show off a beautiful animal like a new suit or fashionable furniture. Stylish animals are also found among dudes. The abundance of indoor plants suggests that a man is not a pragmatist, loves calmness and a measured lifestyle. Such people are conservative, often similar in character to women. There are exceptions to this rule. Think of Luc Besson's Léon. The main character had a flower, which he cared for, talked to him like a person. For Leon the killer, the flower has become the best and only friend who will not ask for anything and will not make noise, will not betray his master. This is a living creature in the house that you can take care of, give him warmth, rejoice that it is growing. It is the flower and Leon’s attitude towards it that reveals to the viewer the real character of the killer, who kills people without regret, and gives all his care to the plant, because because of his profession he cannot make close contact with people, make friends and women. Maybe your friend, who lovingly grows a cactus or a violet, treats the plant like an animal or a person, takes care of it, admires it, but cannot get the same dog because there is no time or conditions? By the way, among cactus growers and lovers of exotic plants there are very interesting men. I'm not talking about those who deal with animals or plants professionally. Well, isn't it interesting to have the owner of the largest collection of orchids in the list of admirers?
And now about the main thing. Animals and plants can help us bitches a lot in our black business of seducing the male sex. It just so happened that in open harassment, even very original, public morality refuses us women. So you have to fool with sprained legs, light accidents or drop cosmetic bags right in front of the nose of the only and desired. You can sit in a cafe for an hour, making eyes to the blonde at the table opposite to tears - this is quite decent and acceptable. And a little step to the side, and you are already the face of a certain profession, not very honorable, despite the antiquity.
And again about animals. What a wonderful and harmless way to get to know your chosen one! It can be on the street, it can be at the exhibition. Dog lovers always like to chat, especially since a person with a pet on a walk is in no hurry. He will give a bunch of advice, tell stories from the childhood of his pet. The most interesting thing is that it is not even necessary to have your own dog. It is quite enough to express a desire to get hold of just such and learn more about it. And there, word for word, it will come to an invitation to dinner. Or you can quite innocently take the phone to call on dog breeding, if anything. And on the phone, if your wife is not sitting next to you, men are bolder. Especially indecisive invite together to go see the puppies. I won’t explain the nuances, because I consider you already a bitch, which means a smart woman.
Communication with men, and even more so with their pets, is fraught with a lot of unforeseen situations. Suppose you met an interesting and decent man, you come to his house, and there is a dog as tall as you, vile and vicious (we take the extreme option). You're in the mood for a romantic evening with champagne and candles, and the pet drools on your skirt and eats pantyhose, trying to lick off your makeup at the same time (maybe it was specially trained for this?), pulls a chocolate bar from the table, knocking over your glass of champagne, and gives you all four paws at once. To all your objections, the owner laughs and gets off with the words: “He is such a naughty one!”. Then a man can’t understand for a long time why you were so twitchy, and you couldn’t relax and have fun. Unfortunately, such cases are not uncommon. My friends were often bitten and scratched by pets, because well-mannered dogs and cats are rare in general, as well as people, and a cat or dog, accustomed to living together with the owner, becomes jealous, because the beloved owner pays all the attention to the stranger who has come. From this, anyone will go crazy. Once my friend, when she amazed her man with sexual technique in the pose of a rider, the owner's cat grabbed right into the buttocks with all four paws and teeth. The man didn’t notice the cat, and when the partner squealed like a siren, he blurted out something like: “Yes, baby, more, come on!”. The cat was torn off immediately. And then a friend did not wear a bikini to the beach for several years and explained in detail to each new man that she was not a masochist.
Based on the foregoing, the best way to avoid such incidents is to make friends with the inevitable participant in dates and win over a pet, and at the same time a man. This will help win his trust and respect - after all, many owners seriously believe that their pet does not recognize bad people, and vice versa, fawns over kind and good representatives of humanity.
Tips for communicating with unfamiliar animals, if you do not want to spoil relations with its owner, are as follows:
- before petting an animal, ask if it is possible to do this;
– don't feed without permission and whatever. Many are unnerved by the habit of feeding animals from the table;
– don't pick up small dog or cat.
Many begin to bite and scratch precisely from this;
- try in advance learn about the characteristics of the breed to have something to show off in conversation;
