Here is a problem. Just a specific one that infuriates you. For example, your boss constantly yells at you and publicly humiliates you. No, you didn't do anything wrong, he's just an asshole. And there are three ways

1. Get the hell out of this office and get your dream job
2. Continue to work in this team and wait until this asshole is fired. At the same time, every day to hate him and yourself.
3. Try to fix the situation, talk to him, do something. It is possible to write to the higher authorities that such a balance of power does not suit you.

It's funny, but even if you choose the third option, then everything can remain as before. You talked, he understood everything, assured that this would not happen further. And then like bam! After all, he needed something yesterday, although he only told you about it today. And again op and reproaches.

you tell yourself
Fuck him! Fuck this job and this boss

You come home, there are two beautiful children and a beautiful wife. You announce to her that tomorrow you are writing a statement on your own, because "I'm sick of it."

She looks at you so tenderly and stealthily, kindly, like “I think you running from problems. I think this is a rash act, and you need to try decide this problem at work in a peaceful way”

You scroll in your head the phrases “Running from problems” “Need to be solved”. Like what does she think? Am I some kind of coward and can't handle the circumstances? Why can't I solve this problem? Not a man, is it?

I kissed my wife on the forehead, thanked her for the advice, and then for 10 years you work in this “hotly beloved office” with the head of the asshole. Which has not changed, no matter how many conversations and letters to top management.

From what do we “run” and “run” at all?

When someone tells me “you are running from problems,” I want to somehow very, very much understand the motivation of this person. His way of thinking.
In general, this expression is fundamentally wrong. Not only does it carry a negative connotation, it also severely demotivates. (Actually, it motivates, but I will explain later why this motivation is destructive. Therefore, I add the prefix “de”)

Let's look at an example of how it works
Here you have an asshole boss. It would seem that the solution to the situation is a very simple formula “The boss is NOT an asshole”

And here you already do what you want: change jobs, change people, become your own boss. All of these methods are good and lead to the same result.

However, resources for solutions are always different. The most costly is to remake a person. The easiest is to change jobs.

And now a very important point. Why, when you choose the simplest and most obvious option, do they tell you that “you are running from problems”? Why do these people always want you to put yourself on the altar and change the world? What are they looking for? The problem is solved.

Very often, there were moments in my life when I “ran from problems” when in fact I simply eliminated them from my life. I made this or that choice that led me to the current life. Honestly? I am happy that I did not listen to advice and acted as I know.

The main thing is happiness!

I also know many people who have chosen the path of "struggle" and are still in that state. My motto is simple: “He who is happy is right.” If this struggle makes them happy Why not? This is the choice of every person. That's why I don't say to anyone, "Can you just run away from the problem?" But they, in turn, consider it their duty to accuse you of running away if something comes easy to you.

Such is the paradox

Only the act of decision should be considered. You did it, well done
If you do nothing, then you can already be accused of inaction.
If you like, “flight” is an action. As my boxing teacher used to say: “If you can avoid a fight and run away, run!”

The best advice I've received in my life has been on how to avoid conflict or problems.
Someone goes to the conflict - do not give in.
Someone humiliates and insults you - shut up

One gets the impression that such advice can make you Chekhov’s “Man in a Case” character, who was always afraid of “No matter what happens.” But in fact, this is a very strong position. Much stronger than a stupid confrontation.

It's hard not to answer. It is difficult when you are accused of cowardice and lack of perseverance. I would like to prove otherwise. Beat in the chest with a fist and climb onto the embrasure. Therefore, the phrase “you are running from problems” motivates you to act. And, perhaps, these actions can lead to negative consequences.

Once upon a time there was a wise old samurai. He had a group of students and he taught them wisdom and martial arts. Once, during classes, a young warrior came to him, famous for his impoliteness and cruelty.

His favorite tactic was provocation: he insulted the enemy, he lost his temper, accepted the challenge, but in a rage made one mistake after another and lost the battle.

So it happened this time: the warrior shouted a few insults and began to observe the reaction of the samurai. But he calmly continued to lead the lesson. This happened several times. When the samurai did not react in any way for the third time, the fighter walked away in annoyance.

The students watched the process carefully and with interest. After the fighter left, one of them could not stand it:

Master, why did you endure his attacks? I should have challenged him!

The wise samurai replied:

When a gift is brought to you and you do not accept it, who does it belong to?

To his former master, the disciples replied.

The same applies to envy, hatred and insults. Until you accept them, they belong to the one who brought them.

Real revolutions take place within, in the mind. Ultimately, we are all running in the same direction.

No exceptions?

Yes, yes, I know you are waiting for the story from the main picture of the article. They say there is a completely different case and so on.

Let's analyze it in more detail.

The situation, your girlfriend / wife is pregnant, but you did not plan this in any way. The prospect of the future is outlined very brightly and very sadly for you. Social pressure tells you that you must accept the consequences of your actions. Whether they were considered or not is another question. We are talking about their results. You want all this not to be, so that it was some kind of dream, because you have “other plans”.

1. You take off into the sunset and live your happy and carefree life.
2. You agree with your girlfriend/wife that now is not the right time to have a baby.
3. You get married, have a baby, raise him. Live happily or unhappily. Here's how lucky :)

Many do not even want to think about the first two options. It's unethical, it's wrong, it's not masculine, and so on. After all, a real man takes responsibility for his every word and for his every deed. Yes, that's right, it is. But also any person has the right to dispose of his life as he wants. This is his destiny and his choice, any of his actions are dictated by his personal desire for happiness and nothing else. After all, according to the constitution of any country - we all have the right to happiness.

Why does the man decide to run? Perhaps because he sees a promising path as a path to the abyss and misfortune. And there is nothing worse than living an unhappy life. Therefore, the choice is obvious. Thus he "solves" his problem. And if the problem is solved, what is the demand from him?

But what is she? What about her life? Will she be happy alone?
Of course not! Options are possible, but most likely not, she will not be happy if the man dumps. But she also makes her choice in this situation. She can manage her life as she sees fit. Leave the child, abandon the child, find a new boyfriend / husband and raise him alone or together. It will be her choice, it will be her decision.

She chooses happiness for herself and for the child. She may think that the baby will make her happy. She will live for him, she will put herself on the altar, for the sake of her child's happiness.

Any of these decisions are made by her and only her. And in this situation, “should/should” no longer work. No one owes nothing to nobody. And if you still think otherwise, then in life you will find many surprises.

Again.
You make a decision based on your life experience, religion, worldview, and so on. But you should always want the best for yourself.

If you start wanting the best for the other, you won't last long. And most likely you will not live your life.

I'm not talking about being selfish. And consider everything only from a position that makes you happy. You can find out what makes another person happy and try to make him happy. After all, if he is happy, it will make you happy too. Such is selfishness beneficial to both. And there is nothing wrong with that.

I do things all the time that make people smile. Because I love it when people smile, it makes ME happy. So I'm doing this for myself? Well, you can interpret any action that way. That's what we're going to do now :)

The mother chooses to keep the child because she supposedly wants the best for the child. Although she really wants the best for herself. She thinks that the child will make her happy, that when he grows up he will be grateful to her. He will love her!

You are free to choose your path, even if someone else thinks otherwise.

Do I judge people who leave, leave, get divorced?

No. They make their choice. If this choice makes them happier - I have no right to condemn them. Yes, they hurt the other person. But in the end, people should be happy, all without exception. Recall your most vivid experiences associated with parting. Now realize who you are now. Are you happy? Did this breakup lead to a better life? I hope so, because everything that is done is for the better.

PS> I definitely condemn people who restrict freedom of choice. For example, these are people who are trying to ban abortion.

Other shades

It is important to distinguish between local calls and global/world calls.
The head of the asshole is a local problem. And its decision entirely depends on your choice. Your choice will only affect YOUR happiness and your destiny.

However, there are more serious problems - systemic / global. Global warming, extinction of rare animal species, famine, corruption, etc. And here again, there are several solutions to the problem. You can “run away” to another country, ignore the facts of the extermination of species, not think about the hungry and turn a blind eye to corruption. We do all these things every day. We are not omnipotent to solve these problems overnight. But you can try. It is important that if we are going to solve these problems it will affect the happiness of ALL and the fate of many people.

And if we choose "escape" then we will affect the happiness of only one person - ourselves. Yes, this is a selfish position. But we are all selfish.

Without struggle, the freedoms that we have would not exist. The people who fought gave us a lot. It is thanks to such people that society moves forward.

I have immense respect for people who are trying to make their home, neighborhood, city, country or planet a better place. They are great, they create the future.

I believe that we live once and do selfish things that make me happy. I don’t fight with anyone and I don’t prove anything to anyone. I believe in humanity and it disgusts me to watch people fight for patches of land. They believe that if they were born on them, then this is their property. My position is everything on earth is common, don't you like where you are? Change environment. The world is big and huge

My reluctance to join the global struggle is much more sacred. Ultimately, our planet will be swallowed up by the sun growing into a Red Giant. And the era of black holes will come in the universe, from which other universes will be born :)

Conclusion

To be fair, it's worth noting that I'm against avoiding problems. Problems must be solved! How you solve them is your own business. If you were put in at work for not having time to complete the task on time, then the problem is already in you. But you can’t run away from yourself :) Therefore, you always need to look at the difficulties that arise from the outside. Understand their root cause and solve. The main thing is action. Not talking in the kitchen, not whining to your wife/boyfriend/girlfriend, but action. Action aimed at one result - the elimination of the problem in any way. Whether it's flight, or destruction, or sex change, no one should care. Have you solved the problem? Congratulations, you are handsome!

The only way! And this is a big mac

Abstracts of the article:

1. You are actually solving the problem, not "running" from it.
2. The main thing is happiness
3. No one owes nothing to nobody
4. You are free to choose your path, even if society/someone thinks otherwise
5. Struggle is necessary to solve global problems
6. Thanks to the people who put themselves on the altar of struggle - our life has become better

Question to a psychologist

My problem is that I always run away.
As a child, I always ran home when there were too many children in the yard in the evening. At school, as soon as problems with studies and with classmates began, she fled to another school. She ran away from the university without passing a bunch of exams. I worked in 5-6 places, and when I got tired, I just ran away from work and never showed up there again.
I understand that this is not appropriate. Normal people say something, somehow quit, if there are problems with their studies, they ask parents or teachers for advice, but I don’t know how. There was a time when I even threw the phone if something didn’t go according to the piece of paper that I prepared especially for this call. I'm not afraid, I just don't know how to react. The strongest disadaptation in this matter.
What can you advise a person with such a problem?

Psychologists Answers

Sarah, hello.

You have formed a certain strategy, the strategy of avoidance, it applies to all areas of your life. You know, each person has his own set of psychological defenses, they are different and normal, designed to protect us from psychological trauma. Another thing is that sometimes they do us a disservice, protecting us not only from suffering, but also from life in general. Here's how it is for you.

You unconsciously use a form of defense called avoidance. By "escaping" physically or mentally (withdrawing in thoughts) you do not live the situation, but hide from it. not to experience negative emotions. Why you do this - one can only guess: maybe once it worked and took hold as a reaction to the future; maybe as a child you had a need to hide from something, maybe a lot of things.

The main thing is that now you continue to exploit this method, which you once needed, really protecting you from something, but now it prevents you from LIVING your life, driving you into a shell.

Sarah, this is a good request to work with a psychologist. Psychological defenses can be translated into consciousness and replaced in the required volumes with coping strategies - a resourceful way to overcome difficulties. If you decide, please contact us for a Skype consultation. It's time to start living, not hiding :)

Resolve to you

Trofimova Julia, psychologist, Elektrostal, skype consultation

Good answer 3 bad answer 0

Hello Sarah. Your defense mechanism in childhood helped you, at school and at the university the mechanism of subconscious stereotyped behavior worked and was fixed. You need psychological therapy with the extraction of your own resource capabilities. After that, you can take responsibility for your actions. Responsibility, that's what needs to be brought back from the subconscious. Irresponsible behavior harms you, the further, the more. Come, let's figure it out together.

Sincerely, the psychologist of Almaty, Chembotaeva Bayana

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such a pattern of behavior is formed in early childhood, non-verbal avoidance of problems is sometimes good, but sometimes bad. You are great, you have tracked the moments when this happens, therefore you are ready to work it out. Right now, non-verbal grooming is the only way for you to take care of yourself, you need to learn how to take care of yourself differently. One of the ways to solve your problem may be to work with a body-oriented psychologist, another is to make sense, reflect on your own behavior, interrupt the habitual pattern and make new sense.

The least you can do is start to stop, even in small things, to return after the escape and comprehend what happened. After all, when you run away, you not only save yourself, but also lose something very important.

If something is not going well in your life, it is reasonable to assume that you will look for a solution to the problem. However, we often go “on the contrary” and aggravate the situation, since there are many ways to step back from reality and problems in life. So you can not go for months to the dentist, hoping that nothing bad is happening to your teeth, then endure the toothache, hoping that it will “go away on its own”, and then go with a more serious diagnosis after all to treat teeth. In what situations do we voluntarily drive ourselves? Find out what you definitely shouldn’t do from the top of bad advice!

Escape from reality quickly and efficiently

There are a lot of useful articles on how to solve problems in life. Maybe it's time to go the other way and give some bad advice? Especially since many people do just that. So, the guide: how to make the problem worse, drive it deeper and make it chronic.

Psychologists know as many as ten reliable ways of psychological protection!

Avoidance (escapism): "I won't go there again!" It seems to be a simple and understandable way of psychological protection. A person tries not to get into those situations where he once received a painful experience. The habit of not grabbing hot food with bare hands or walking through dark deserted streets late at night will only benefit. But it can also reach the point of absurdity: I will not meet girls, they laugh at me; I will not ride in public transport, they push and be rude; I won’t go to job interviews either, because they didn’t hire me twice. Of course, a person rarely voices this out loud, but his actions speak for themselves. The avoidance strategy does not lead to success in life. But we're giving bad advice!

Repression: "I'll turn on the music and forget about everything!". Or “I’m going to go have coffee with a friend so I don’t have to think about problems at work,” and so on. An unpleasant situation seems to be forced out of consciousness for a while, until something again reminds us of it. We can make repression a permanent strategy: when we are uncomfortable, we try to “switch off”, and the problem remains unresolved. The stress that unpleasant experiences create gradually builds up.

Denial: “He called me a fool? It can't be, you must have misheard! Denial is somewhat similar to repression, but in this case, the defense mechanism works more strongly. If in the case of repression the information is first recognized and then temporarily "forgotten", then in case of denial it does not enter consciousness at all. A person who uses denial is not at all aware of what he is unable to accept: “I don’t remember, I didn’t see, I didn’t hear.” Denial can be expressed in the fact that a person “does not hear” offensive words addressed to him or, for example, does not realize that the boss is transparently hinting at dismissal. Failure guaranteed!

Rationalization: "Based on the above assumptions, we can assume ...". Rationalization is overthinking as a way to survive an unpleasant situation. Rationalizing tries to move away from unbearable feelings and leave only rational arguments. Can long, at first glance dispassionately discuss what happened, look for an "objective" explanation. But since his feelings are hurt, he is not able to reason truly logically at this moment. The motive he names will have nothing to do with the true motive.

For example, a girl tells her friends that she invited a young man for tea because she is interested in him “exclusively as an interlocutor”, although in fact he attracts her as a man. Or someone argues that it is irresponsible to give to the poor, because they must learn to earn money on their own - but in fact, he just feels sorry for the money, and he is secretly ashamed of it. Rationalization is characteristic of intelligent people who find it difficult to accept their own feelings. And right! You will look much smarter if you declare that you have no feelings at all.

Somatization: "I'm the sickest person in the world..." Departure from the problems in life is not uncommon. On the one hand, repressed internal conflicts tend to be expressed in bodily diseases, on the other hand, the disease provides the so-called "secondary benefits". The solution of all problems is postponed for a while. A sick person is by definition weak, he receives attention and care, reproach or demand something from him is considered cruel. A sick person is not ashamed to seek help: however, he does not seek the one that he really needs - not for psychological, but for medical. Some may not "get out" of psychosomatic illnesses all their lives. Care, care and the delights of free medicine are guaranteed.

Auto-aggression: "I hate ... myself!" An aggressive impulse towards an external object is directed against itself. Adolescents who experience intense conflicts with parents and teachers may cut themselves, engage in extreme sports, and attempt suicide. The same behavior can be typical for adults. Disagreements with authority figures are unconsciously suppressed and they direct their aggression towards themselves. Torturing yourself with diets, alcoholism and smoking, constant dissatisfaction with yourself or a working day scheduled to the minute can also be manifestations of auto-aggression. Is there anyone who has not tried to "torment" himself at least once in his life? And it would seem, are there really few problems in life?

Regression: "Don't touch me, I'm still small." Regression is a return to behavior patterns of an earlier age. A child is usually protected and taken care of more than an adult, and our subconscious tells us that going back to childhood for a while will be a good way out. A teenager in the event of conflicts with parents can begin to behave like a seven-year-old, and a preschooler, experiencing stress from the appearance of a younger child in the family, sometimes begins to wet the bed like a baby. Regression can occur not only in children, but also in quite adult men and women. In a situation of conflict at work, some adults may be childishly offended by the leader, subconsciously seeing in him a parental figure. In a quarrel between partners, one of them may flare up like a teenager, or start acting up. Make regression your primary problem-solving strategy and earn the proud title of childish personality!

Depreciation, or devaluation: "Not really necessary!". We are all afraid of losing what we hold dear. Sometimes this fear is so strong that it becomes easier to convince yourself that a valuable person, object, area of ​​\u200b\u200blife does not matter much. You can talk contemptuously with a dear person, or tell everyone how indifferent you are to him. Or pretending you don't care about a beautiful dress in a shop window. Or the position for which you were not hired was completely uninteresting. True, this behavior will not reduce the significance of these objects, but it will be much easier to lose them.

Transference: "I loved you ... Or maybe you." Sometimes we transfer our own, very strong feelings from one object - subjectively “dangerous”, to a safe one. Anger at the boss is transferred to family members or pets, passionate feelings - to a person who is less attractive, but, as it seems to us, more accessible. The phenomenon of transference is well known in psychotherapy: usually the client transfers strong feelings to the "neutral" therapist, which he does not dare to express in everyday life to their true addressee. The psychotherapist is somehow more reliable, and will not reject: after all, you pay him money. It is also worth fighting this problem in life.

Projection: from a sick head to a healthy one. There are unpleasant qualities that we notice in ourselves, but it is difficult to accept them. Or there are disturbing events in our lives, but we don’t want to admit it. In this case, the subconscious mind transfers the perceived shortcomings to others. “Misha and Olya quarrel so often,” a lady who is actually going through a crisis in her own marriage tells her friends. “In my opinion, Peter began to neglect his duties,” a man who himself has long lost interest in work thinks about his colleague. Why worry about the beam in your own eye when you can look at the speck in someone else's?

In childhood, we do not go through life - we fly! Nothing interferes with our flight, emotions are light: we only cried, but we are already laughing. The anticipation of an ordinary walk evokes a feeling of incredible adventure.

Over time, the flight decreases, we switch to running, the walk is slower and slower and we are already dragging ourselves. We are overgrown with an invisible burden that interferes with the flight of our life.

What are we carrying? An unbearable load that stops the current of our life. "If the horse is dead, get off it." So says the ancient Indian wisdom. Now it is just as relevant as it was in the days of fires, hunting, freedom of the spirit and harmony with nature.

Our horse can die in relationships, in work, in the head. We carry all this dead weight with us.

The horse ordered to live long, we need to accept this fact, give it due honors and move on. But often it is difficult for us to accept this fact, we refuse to believe in it. And what are we doing?

1. We are trying to somehow embellish a dead horse. We tie bows, gild horseshoes. That is, we are looking for excuses why we continue to live with those with whom there is nothing left in common except for the economy. When we explain why we go to an unloved, low-paid job, dreams remain dreams, we don’t live our lives.

2. We push a dead horse ahead of us, we roll it or pull its tail, convincing ourselves that it is fun and playful jumping. That is, we live in illusions, we believe that everything will change, but at the same time we do nothing for this. In other words, we just drag this dead beast on and refuse to believe our eyes, ears, all senses and mind.

3. Dealing with a dead horse or we persuade her not to be so dead. The woman is married to an alcoholic who goes on a drinking binge with such frequency that you can synchronize the clock. The woman persuades him to stop, tells how hard it is for her, scolds. In a fit of remorse, he promises to start a new life, swears that this was the last time. And so for twenty years. Question: is there any sense in this and what is the price of his promises?

4. We convince ourselves that everyone is jumping like that, parents used to ride like that. Zinka over there jumps like that too. We prove that our dead horse is better, faster and cheaper than a normal and live one.

This is what we do when we find an excuse for ourselves why we do nothing to change our lives for the better. We are trying to deceive ourselves that "everything suits us anyway." Only in the depths of our hearts do we know that this is a lie. We are not happy with this! Only to do something in fact, we are simply afraid.

All these examples are different ways to escape from oneself, escape from reality, self-deception.

Yes, there are temporary overcome difficulties both in relations between people, and in business or work. But there are deadlock situations when no resuscitation measures will help. Here are their signs in relationships between people.

How to understand that you are at an impasse?

1. The horse is not breathing. Relationships are long dead, do not cause any emotions, except for boredom or fatigue.

2. The horse does not move. There is no interest in the partner, his emotions and experiences, except for the standard "how are you - fine - well, well." There is no desire to move somewhere together, make plans and implement them.

3. The horse does not carry the rider. You can not count on any help or support from a partner.

4. The horse does not eat or drink. There is no desire to please, to give to a partner, to enrich relationships. When there is a standard set of socks by February 23 and a tulip by March 8.

5. The horse does not respond to pain. Partners have moved away so much that everyone lives their own lives and even attacks cause only lazy dismissal.

If all these signs are present, then we are simply dragging a corpse through life, deceiving ourselves, looking for explanations why we are doing what no one needs. No matter how we justify ourselves that we live for the sake of children, that it’s too late to change something, that it’s scary - it’s all a lie. The horse is dead, it's time to get off it, and not to drag a dead weight along with you through life.

It is the same in work, project, business. You can drag on yourself a dead project that doesn't breathe, doesn't evoke any positive feelings, doesn't respond to us. Or doing something you don't like, wasting your life. This is also dead weight, which it is high time to leave.

In our head we carry a whole herd of carrion from old, obsolete beliefs, dogmas, programs and attitudes. That's what really stops our flight, makes us live in the wrong place, with the wrong people, do things we don't like and waste our lives in nowhere. Dead thoughts in your head.

Once they were alive, but their time has passed, and further they drag us down.

The attitude “money is earned only by hard work, it is dirty and brings only danger and problems” may have once been justified and good, but not now.

Following in the footsteps of parents, adopting their craft, was very relevant in the Middle Ages. But now there are other trends in development and other needs for specialization.

Or to realize the mother's unfulfilled dream of becoming a ballerina. How much do we personally need it?

We can be stuffed full of these outdated beliefs that no one has ever questioned or criticized before.

Editorial

Dare not only to dispose of a dead horse, but to change to a new, unbridled stallion is a task for the strong in spirit. French journalist Frederic Bedos using the inspiring example of his parents, he tells how to take responsibility for your own life and not be afraid of risk: .

Often we try to abstract ourselves from the real state of affairs, justifying everything by the fact that certain problems, inclinations, and dependencies are “written by birth” with us. Is there really a life script written in advance, in which no changes can be made? Disassembled Vladimir Kuts: .

In every possible way to deny responsibility for what is happening in one's own life is one of the direct paths to inconspicuous slavery. A few more ways to make yourself a slave and not notice it tells Alexander Banarescu: .

If you are prone to riding a dead horse, we advise you to read the book by Andre Koukl “Mental traps. Stupid things that reasonable people do to ruin their lives. To get started, read the summary of key ideas: .

We spend our days filling up every space we have, cramming in more and more tasks, checking social media and websites, sending messages, watching videos.

We are afraid of empty space in our lives.

A frequent result of such “filling” is absolute employment, constant absent-mindedness, evasion, lack of concentration and, in the end, dissatisfaction with life.

We're running from silence. We run from the unoccupied space between business and meetings. We run from isolation and static. We try to fill every second with movement, something useful, as if silence and free time have no value.

But what are we so afraid of?
And who would we be without this fear?

We are afraid of unoccupied space and inaction, because they reveal the uncertainty and instability, uncertainty, precariousness, which are hidden behind every second of our lives. We are afraid to face this instability and confusion, to feel the fear of the unknown.

However, without fear of all uncertainty... we will be free.

I know that in the moments when I allowed myself to be inactive, allowed myself to fully experience the silence, the loneliness, the simplicity… I had the opportunity to come face to face with everything that was inside my head. I was able to fully experience all the feelings that I had avoided before. And it has allowed me to be more honest with myself, instead of being constantly distracted trying to hide everything I don't want to see.

And finally, I developed the confidence that space is not something to be afraid of, but something to cherish. It is a gift, and it consists of opportunities to study, not to know something, to tremble with anticipation, to see beauty.

Perhaps you should let a little more unused space into your day:

● Allow some time between tasks to calm down.

● Sit in nature, in silence, without gadgets.

● When you find yourself reaching for your phone, stop. See if you can just stay still and enjoy the moment.

● When you feel uncertainty or instability in your life (I will hint: they are always there), allow yourself to feel it. Be with this feeling without trying to avoid it.

● When you feel fear, be open and allow yourself to feel it fully. Your relationship with fear will change if you are friendly.

● Do less and trust that the world won't fall apart. Or, even if it falls apart, you can try to exist on its ruins.

● When you're standing in line, driving, eating lunch, walking, exercising... see if you can do it all in silence, without gadgets, without having to do something with an "extra" benefit. Find value in these moments.

● Notice who you are without the fear of free space.

Enjoy these moments, their amazingness. We will enjoy the lack of stability as something filled with freedom if we learn not to be afraid. Live with fear and uncertainty as friends, not enemies.

Let your heart be open, honest, sensitive and vulnerable, and let your mind embrace the expanse of the vast blue sky of open awareness.