Way out of conflict situations as a way to improve the communication culture of younger students.

As John Lubbock said, "For success in life, the ability to deal with people is much more important than having talent."
There is no greater luxury than the luxury of human communication.
So spoke Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Communication- A complex, multifaceted process of establishing and developing contacts between people, generated by the need for joint activities and including the exchange of information, the development of a unified interaction strategy, the perception and understanding of another person.
Interest in the theoretical and practical study of conflicts is currently due to the increased conflict and tension in various spheres of life. In the modern world, all spheres of human life are permeated with contradictions that create the basis for various kinds of conflict situations. Conflicts and conflict situations in the education system are largely due to the authoritarian system of management of the pedagogical process.
Primary school, being a social institution, is directly affected by the aggravation of contradictions in society. Since educational, labor and family activities of people intersect in it, participants of different status and age are involved in school conflicts. The modern teacher is faced with the task of constructive work to prevent and resolve conflicts that pose a danger to the normal functioning of the educational process.
The relevance of this work determines that one of the most intensively developing areas of modern theoretical knowledge and practice is conflictology, which is an interdisciplinary approach to understanding, describing and managing conflict phenomena of different levels and the behavior of the subject in a conflict situation.
Target: to study the types of school conflicts, to consider the main conditions for the development of schoolchildren's skills not to create conflict situations.
An object: the process of pedagogical communication.
Thing: conditions for the development of schoolchildren's skills not to create conflict situations.
Research hypothesis. Conflicts in the communication of subjects of study will not be so frequent and obvious if:
- taking into account the age characteristics of students;
- positive conditions are created for the formation of conflict-free pedagogical communication;
- in the system, specially organized work is carried out to develop skills not to create conflict situations.
Tasks.
1. To identify the state of the problem of conflicts in the psychological and pedagogical literature.
2. Determine the basic conditions for successful conflict resolution.
Research methods: theoretical research methods were used: theoretical analysis of literature, generalization and systematization of knowledge.
Communication benefits:
Communication is the path to success.
Sociability gives liberation from isolation and complexes.
Sociability gives independence from circumstances; in any circumstances, a sociable person will be able to achieve understanding with others.
Communication skills give pleasure from communication with a variety of people.
Sociability helps to adapt in society.

Conflict- a complex system of confrontation with poorly predictable behavior of the conflicting parties.

Stages of the conflict:
1. Pre-conflict (hidden stage, a certain contradiction arises between the opponents, but they are not yet aware of it and do not take any active steps to defend their positions).
2. Conflict interaction (opposition in the active stage, which, in turn, is divided into three phases: incident, escalation, balanced interaction).
3. Resolution (completion of confrontation).
4. Post-conflict (possible consequences).
The school is characterized by various kinds of conflicts. Consider conflicts between students. The most common among students are leadership conflicts, which reflect the struggle of two or three leaders and their groups for primacy in the class. Also, often, a group of guys and a group of girls are in conflict. There may be a conflict between three or four students with a whole class, or a conflict confrontation between one student and the class may break out, there are a lot of reasons for these conflicts.

The personality of the teacher has a great influence on the conflict behavior of schoolchildren. Its impact can manifest itself in various aspects.
First of all, the style of interaction of the teacher with other students serves as an example for reproduction in relationships with peers. Studies show that the communication style and pedagogical tactics of the first teacher have a significant impact on the formation of interpersonal relationships between students and classmates and parents. The personal style of communication and the pedagogical tactics of "cooperation" determine the most conflict-free relations of children with each other. However, this style is owned by a small number of elementary school teachers. Primary school teachers with a pronounced functional style of communication adhere to one of the tactics ("dictatorship" or "guardianship") that increase the tension of interpersonal relationships in the classroom. A large number of conflicts characterize relations in the classes of "authoritarian" teachers and at senior school age.
Secondly, the teacher is obliged to intervene in the conflicts of students, to regulate them. This, of course, does not mean their suppression. Depending on the situation, administrative intervention may be necessary, or it may just be good advice. The involvement of conflicting students in joint activities, participation in conflict resolution of other students, especially class leaders, etc., has a positive effect.
The process of training and education, like any development, is impossible without contradictions and conflicts. Confrontation with children, whose living conditions today can not be called favorable, is a common part of reality. According to M.M. Rybakova, different conflicts arise between the teacher and the student.
The personality of the teacher has a great influence on the conflict behavior of schoolchildren. Its impact can manifest itself in various aspects.
First, the teacher's style of interaction with other students serves as an example for reproduction in relationships with peers. Studies show that the communication style and pedagogical tactics of the first teacher have a significant impact on the formation of interpersonal relationships between students and classmates and parents.
Secondly, the teacher is obliged to intervene in the conflicts of students, to regulate them. This, of course, does not mean their suppression. Depending on the situation, administrative intervention may be necessary, or it may just be good advice. The involvement of conflicting students in joint activities, participation in conflict resolution of other students, especially class leaders, etc., has a positive effect.

Ways to eliminate and get out of conflict situations:
Avoiding conflict as a way to resolve a conflict situation is avoiding resolving a contradiction that has arisen with reference to lack of time, inappropriateness, untimeliness of the dispute, etc. This method should be used in order not to bring the conversation to a conflict. However, such an outcome is simply postponing the resolution of the conflict situation. The accused side avoids an open confrontation, allows the opposite side to "cool down", ease mental stress, and think over their claims. Sometimes there is also a hope that in time everything will settle down by itself (this is most often observed among young teachers). However, when a new reason appears, the conflict flares up again.
Smoothing out the conflict is agreeing with the claims, but "only for this moment." The "accused" tries in this way to calm the partner, to remove emotional excitement. He says that he was misunderstood, that there are no special reasons for the conflict, that he did not do something due to unexpectedly emerging new circumstances. However, this does not mean that he accepted the claims and realized the essence of the conflict. Just at the moment he shows consent, loyalty.
Compromise is the adoption of the most acceptable solution for both parties through an open discussion of opinions and positions. Compromise excludes unilateral coercion to one single option, as well as postponing the resolution of the conflict. Its advantage lies in the mutual equality of rights and obligations assumed by each party voluntarily, and the openness of claims to each other.
The considered ways out of conflict situations are a factor in improving the communication culture of younger students, since in our time this is a fairly demanded skill.
Rules of speech behavior for the speaker:
- Show respect, benevolence to the addressee of the speech.
- Be polite.
- Do not put the focus on your own "I".
- Put the listener in the center of attention.
- Choose a topic that is interesting for your partner.
- Follow the logic of speech.
- Do not try to speak louder than the interlocutor.
Rules of speech behavior for the listener
- Listen carefully to the interlocutor, do not interrupt him.
- Respectfully, kindly, patiently treat the speaker.
- Focus on the speaker and their interests.
- Evaluate the speech of the interlocutor in time.
Gestures, facial expressions and posture of the participants in the dialogue
- Do not violate the personal space of the interlocutor.
- Do not forget that a universal means of non-verbal communication is a smile.
- Know that the most powerful "tool" is eye contact.
- Remember that your gestures should be at chest and waist level.
In the work, you can use games, exercises to unite schoolchildren, the purpose of which is to unite group members to jointly solve problems, develop the ability to express sympathy and respect for each other.
For example, you can use the following training exercise:
"Reflection"
One of the participants plays the role of a "mirror", the other - a "person". Game conditions: the participant playing the role of a “mirror” must exactly repeat the movements of the “person”, reflect them.
This type of training can be offered to students who have this or that conflict. This exercise contributes to the elimination of the conflict between the two opposing sides, through a fun, positive game.
Having done research on the above topic, I made some conclusions. An analysis of the theoretical literature on the research problem showed that a junior schoolchild is a person who actively masters communication skills. During this period, an intensive establishment of friendly contacts takes place. Acquiring the skills of social interaction with a peer group and the ability to make friends is one of the important developmental tasks at this age stage. The system of personal relationships is the most emotionally saturated for each person, since it is associated with his assessment and recognition as a person. Therefore, an unsatisfactory position in a peer group is experienced by children very acutely and is often the cause of inadequate affective reactions.
Conflict in pedagogical activity is easier to prevent than to resolve, as well as to reduce the number of destructive interpersonal conflicts, to form a constructive experience of behavior in the event of an interpersonal conflict, along with the methods of managing and resolving conflict situations, the teacher needs to know the methods for preventing such situations at school.
Bibliography
1. Abramova G.S. Developmental psychology: Textbook for university students /G.S. Abramov. - M.: Enlightenment, 2003. - 123 p.
2. Averin V.A. Psychology of children and adolescents. / V.A. Averin. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2005. - 230 p.
3. Shumilin A.P. Interpersonal conflicts in younger school age / A.P. Shumilin - M.: MGU, 2006. - 121 p.
4. Rogov E.I. Psychology of communication. / E.I. Rogov. - M.: VLADOS, 2001. - 415 p.

September and school are synonymous words, and that's fine. School and work are also normal. BUT school and neuroses how do you like this combination? Alas, they have been stomping side by side for a long time. This is not news or a discovery, each of us sees on the example of our own children and grandchildren - they, like astronauts, endure colossal overload at school. A first grader has five lessons a day - a common thing, high school students spend 6–7 hours in classes, high school students even more. Do any of you, dear adults, feel ready and able to work hard for seven hours straight? We can’t do this, we always have the opportunity to warm up, smoke, brew coffee, tell our colleagues a bike or an anecdote. Children do not have such an opportunity, their breaks last 10 minutes, to run to the toilet and move from class to class - all that they have time to do. And an unkind day comes when something breaks, the psyche can not stand it: your the always obedient son snaps back, sleeps restlessly, complains to fatigue, headaches, urinates in bed ... And he looks so that it is immediately clear: life is not a joy.

In the school life of children, psychotherapists noted three peaks of exacerbation of their problems. The first "wave" is already at the end of first grade: back in the fall he ran to school with flowers and a smile, but in the winter he doesn’t want to hear about her. The second "wave" overtakes the student during the transition to the fifth grade: elementary school is finished quite well, but suddenly a lot of questions arise. And the third "wave", right the ninth shaft, covers the guys 8th–9th grades: these are generally very difficult ...

Is it possible to avoid devastating school storms, what are their causes, how to help the child safely and safely reach the port of destination?

Neurotics from the first "A"

There is no world under the olives, and already in elementary school there may be two serious problems: child does not "take" the school curriculum, lags behind peers, closes. The second trouble conflict with teacher that turns his life into a constant torment.

It often happens like this: a kid was prepared for school, he was happy about his growing up, willingly showed a satchel and textbooks. But at school, everything turned out differently: you have to speak and be silent, walk and sit not when you want, but when you can and need to. New conditions confuse the child, he is frightened. There are guys with the so-called "mental" or "psychophysical infantilism" who bring their toys to school and instead of lessons play with dolls, cars, they walk around the classroom whenever they want, they are very surprised if they are punished for this. Experienced teachers usually deal with such guys, but it’s better to turn to neurologist for help, sometimes such children are even given one year delay from school.

They say that in elementary school, parents often “learn” with their children: they do homework together, “pull up” it. This is understandable, the child still needs both help and control, but there is no need to drag someone who is weak into excellent students or good students. You can not program the baby only for high marks, to overestimate the requirements for it. Everyone knows - you can’t jump above your head, everyone has their own bar.

If you go too far, then the child may have protest reactions(Loss of interest in studies, school) and neurotic reactions: tearfulness, irritability, hysteria, as soon as it comes to studying. So decide what is more important for you: to raise a healthy child with an average score in the certificate or a sick excellent student.

The special case is children with mental retardation. If they don't get into alignment class in a timely manner, school becomes hell for them. And there is still a long way to go before integrated learning in our schools...

Children who have developed strained relationship with teachers, a lot. But it happens that the conflict goes beyond the boundaries of the class, beyond the boundaries of the concept of "they did not agree on the characters."

The director checked the diaries of high school students, giving a scolding for negligence and inaccuracy. The atmosphere in the classroom was nervous, the parents' meeting was approaching. I didn’t have time to look at several diaries, the bell rang. " And I'll deal with you tomorrow", he promised sternly. Expectation of retribution, only a premonition of inevitable punishment led the girl to the hardest nervous breakdown: she lost her speech and did not speak for 2 months until psychotherapists took care of her.

The girl wrote love letter to teacher. It was not easy for her to decide on this - I am gentle, dreamy, a dreamer, she lived in the world of her dreams, for a long time she was secretly “in love” - she just waited for the teacher, watched him. The teacher did not come up with anything better than read a love letter in front of the class. At home, the girl drank a handful of all her grandmother's pills, ended up in the hospital and was treated for depression for a long time.

In fairness, it must be admitted that the examples given are still out of the ordinary, usually there are simpler conflicts, not of such destructive power, but still very painful for the child. In most cases, when the teacher did not behave in the best way, he still goes back with time, he is ready for the world, realizing the futility of the struggle with the child. But parents, especially mothers, very often are not ready to make peace, they are offended, outraged by injustice. So the conflict moves to a new plane: teacher - parent.

The second graders rode the ice slide. One fell and knocked out a front tooth. They say that his friend pushed him, but he does not admit guilt. The whole school fell on the "hooligan": the teacher, the teachers' council, the victim's mother announced in front of the class: "Don't be friends with him, he will cripple you too, bandit."

The culprit was terribly worried: he refused to go to school, but he was also afraid to be alone at home, he did not sleep well, began to urinate and dirty his underpants. The specialist determined severe neurosis, for a month freed the child from school. Mom and the teacher, unfortunately, did not manage to find a common language, at the meeting they again accused and insulted each other. boy had to be transferred to another class where he calmed down, the signs of neurosis receded.

try get along with the teacher, hear it and understand it. Never aggravate minor conflicts and quarrels, extinguish them by all means, because it is, after all, about the well-being and comfort of your child.

Don't get ambitious. It is noted that educated, intelligent parents, but with a high level of claims, are most often in conflict.

Keep in touch with the teacher. When picking up a child from school, be interested not only in his progress, but also in how he gets along with others, how he feels in the classroom. Be sure to tell about all the features of your little student: very timid, shy of adults, talking quietly or, conversely, too noisy, uncontrollable, fidget. Let the indignation and fatigue of the teacher spill out on you better than on your child.. And you firmly promise the teacher that you will deal with the baby. Your parental intuition will definitely tell you whether it is worth punishing the child for this offense or whether it is better to remain silent.

Prevention measures by teachers

Be careful with children, especially those who are "not like everyone else." Don't speak evil words spare them, be able to pull yourself together. Children, of course, are not angels, it can be difficult for relatives to get along with them, but life is difficult for everyone today, we are all upturned ... Suicide and suicide attempts in children happen often, and the rude word of an adult often becomes the reason for them, not least - educator...

Conflicts in fifth grade

Transition to fifth grade- always an anxious time for the student and parents - everything seems to start over: new teachers, new requirements, growing workloads. And yesterday’s prosperous good student suddenly feels that the ground is slipping from under his feet: he doesn’t have time, he doesn’t cope, fours and fives are suddenly replaced by threes, now they are “deceived” at the meeting, and the classroom looks suspiciously: how was it that you were an excellent student?

It is difficult for a child to deal with a new situation, and he retreats - he skips classes, or even directly declares to his parents that he will no longer go to school. " It's like he's been replaced!' Mom cries.

The child, of course, is the same, but the circumstances have changed. The elementary school teacher is still a special person, almost a mother to her children, and, working with young students, she certainly gives them an indulgence, pulls the weak, manages to linger on a difficult topic in order to explain everything incomprehensible to everyone. The subject teacher does not have such an opportunity, he gave a lesson - and left, and what the student did not understand is his problem, reach your mind. And parents will not always help, mathematics in grades 5-6 is no longer work with counting sticks ...

And they reappear protest reactions, but this is no longer just leaving school, as in the 1st grade, more often it is leaving home, association with asocial companies, first steps towards alcohol, drugs, neuroses, depressive disorders. I would especially like to focus on psychosomatic illnesses. Until the 5th grade, the child was quite healthy, and then there were a lot of complaints: pain in the abdomen, in the heart, in the joints; every morning, suddenly, among full health, a high temperature rises - up to 39 degrees ... Moms run around to doctors, who, in turn, prescribe examinations: ultrasound, cardiograms. But all these problems are secondary, they are caused by the child to “protect” himself, they are retribution for the extra high workload at school and the extra high tasks that parents set for the child. “Falling off the pedestal” is painful for an adult, but for a child it is doubly so. And here you need not a pediatrician, but a psychoneurologist.

Parental preventive measures

You can't expect too much from your kids just because you feel like it. Your requirements for the child are fair, if he can afford it. What's the use of asking you to sing like Caruso? If dad or mom were excellent students at school and graduated from the university with a red diploma, this does not mean at all that the offspring should repeat your successes. Not understanding this, pressing and demanding, can successfully turn a child into a neurotic.

There are good, normal children whose school success always fluctuates between three and four. Is this a reason for tantrums? After all, three is also an estimate. It can be useful to simply “let go of the reins”: time passes, your student grows up, as they say, takes up his mind.

Conflicts in ninth grade

And finally, the third "wave" is teenage years. This is a difficult time for both children and parents. There is a rapid puberty, the endocrine system is tense.

In the morning, a teenager is often in a great mood and wants to hug the whole world; by dinnertime everything becomes gloomy, one does not want to live, and in the evening, as if nothing had happened, he goes to a disco. Such mood swings in teenagers and set the stage for behavioral problems. He is rude, snaps, does not tolerate moralizing, leaves with the company, often tries alcohol and drugs. Most often this happens when at school, and at home, the child is humiliated, insulted or even stopped paying attention to him. At this age, they need attention no less than at a younger age: doctors note an increase in the percentage of suicidal attempts, often completed.

So, adults, teachers and parents, be vigilant! Remember, if your relationship with your child is at an impasse, contact a child psychoneurologist in time.

Is in Minsk helpline, department of border states. And finally there is Republican Psychoneurological Hospital in Novinki, where a school is open, they treat and teach at the same time.

In Western countries psychoanalysts and psychotherapists- the most popular and visited specialists, and our fear of psychiatry - genetic, comes from the time when it was punishing. If you are still afraid to go to an appointment at the place of residence, but there is such a need, contact commercial medical institutions, where a high-class specialist will anonymously consult a child.

Valentina DUBOVSKAYA, psychiatrist, psychotherapist. Tatyana SHAROVA, our corr.
Magazine "Health and Success", No. 9 for 1997.

Angry - be patient, cool a little,
Give in to reason, change anger to mercy.
Breaking any ruby ​​is short and easy,
But it is impossible to reconnect the fragments.
Saadi, the great Persian writer and thinker.

Work at school is associated with rapidly changing situations, which, in turn, can lead to conflicts. As soon as a conflict arises, emotions immediately "work", people experience tension, discomfort, which can harm the health of all participants in the conflict.

Therefore, it is important for the class teacher to have elementary ideas about conflicts, how to prevent a conflict that threatens to destroy good relations between children, how to behave during a conflict in order to reduce its intensity, how to end the conflict with the least losses or resolve it for the benefit of both parties.

One of the most important tasks of the teacher is to develop in children the ability to build relationships in the process of interacting with others on the basis of cooperation and mutual understanding, readiness to accept other people, their views, habits as they are. It is important to teach children communication skills and, if necessary, correct their behavior, otherwise the child may develop such forms of behavior that become an obstacle in his relations with others and turn out to be destructive for his own development.

Modern psychology is characterized by the recognition of the dual nature of the conflict, including its positive role. The most important positive function of the conflict is that it can be a signal for change, an opportunity for rapprochement, relaxation of tension, "healing" of relations and a source of development, that is, conflicts - with the right approach to them - can become an effective factor in the pedagogical process, educational impact for children, but at the same time it is necessary to create a friendly atmosphere.

I. Pre-conflict situation.

In the 1st quarter, difficulties appeared related to the aggravation of interpersonal relations: constant complaints of children that they were not understood, not heard and not listened to by classmates, teased, called names, they were shouted at, mutual insults appeared, claims against each other, isolated cases were traced fights, also on the basis of misunderstanding. All these actions represent a chain (escalation) of conflictogens that played a major role in the emergence of the conflict. The following types of conflictogens were present: this was the desire for superiority (7 people in the status of "cool"), the manifestation of aggression (in some cases there were fights) and the manifestation of selfishness (everyone believed that they did not listen to him, although he himself did not try to listen to the opinion surroundings). It was clear that the class had conflict situation.

Yes, the conflict was preceded by objective life situations in which the children were. The origins of conflict relations were needs children in safety, communication, contacts, interaction, respect, self-expression and self-affirmation.

And, indeed, the children were overexcited. They reacted sharply to the slightest reproaches, accusations against them. According to my observations, about 80% of the guys were on the verge of a "psychological breakdown", they could not calmly talk to each other, shouted, and when I started talking to them in order to sort out the situation (this happened every day), most of them "broke down", began to cry, and resentment against each other did not go away, but only intensified. At this stage, my task was to avert an impending conflict. To this end, every day I conducted individual, group conversations, in which I used the method of persuasion. I tried to show attention and respect for each child, to understand his situation, mentally put myself in his place, let everyone speak out, the emphasis was on his positive qualities. But there was a time when I used authoritarian methods during "showdowns" with children. And, it would seem, they resolved the contradiction, but during the next event, a quarrel necessarily arose. The situation escalated every day. It was clear that such relations could no longer be left. The "last straw" of my patience was the competition in the "nature", which was simply "broken" due to disagreements between the teams. All the guys quarreled again, the mood was spoiled.

II. direct conflict.

And it was, indeed, conflict, since there was a collision of oppositely directed, incompatible with each other positions in the interpersonal relations of children, associated with negative emotional experiences.

By type it was m interpersonal conflict, since it arose between the students of the class due to the incompatibility of views, interests, goals, needs.

The reasons for the conflict were: insufficient understanding in the process of communication individual personality traits children of the class (60% of the children of the class have the ability and desire to be leaders, this group of children strives to dominate, to be the first, to say their last word; the class leader, a girl, is so principled that sometimes it pushes other children to "hostile" actions, many children this class is characterized by excessive straightforwardness in statements, judgments, the desire to tell the truth to the eye, perseverance (by the way, these qualities appeal to me in guys), but not everyone likes this, increased emotionality, an underdeveloped personality trait - tolerance, inability to control one's emotional state tactlessness of a separate group of guys).

I was also clearly aware of other causes conflict in this marvelous class. Fifth grade is adaptation period to new learning environments. Children are included in a new system of relationships and communication with adults and comrades. Besides, it's early teens period. Physiological factors in development make themselves felt, the restructuring of the hormonal system begins, which leads to changes in well-being and mood. Becoming a teenager, a child often loses psychological balance. These factors contribute exacerbation interpersonal relationships in a team. Becomes dominant need for self-assertion, which can manifest itself in an increase in exactingness towards others, sensitivity to the injustice of others, in an increased need for recognition, attention, respect from peers and adults. Moreover, the teenager has inadequate self-esteem, inferiority complexes associated with the experience of their shortcomings, in relation to which they are painfully vulnerable. Overestimated self-esteem leads to the manifestation of impudence, painful pride, resentment, and underestimated - gives rise to anxiety, uncertainty, fears.

Therefore, I decided to hold a class hour, at which it was important for me:

• to lead children to awareness of the conflict in the classroom,
• discussion of different strategies for interaction in conflict;
• lead them to understand the negative consequences of using a destructive strategy that has prevailed in their relationship and the importance of using a constructive strategy;
• I needed , so that the children themselves identify the reasons for this situation in the classroom;
• together with them to determine ways to resolve the conflict,
• that is, my task was to ensure that this conflict served as a way to identify and resolve conflicts.

Pre-class preparation

consisted of a deeper study of interpersonal relationships in the classroom. In addition to observing the children, talking to each one individually, I conducted a sociometric study that complemented my understanding of the emotional structure of the class. I conducted a questionnaire that included questions such as "Are you always satisfied with the way your classmates communicate with you? What do you not like about communicating with classmates? What do you like about communicating with classmates? What communication do you dream of? those moments when you were not understood?

To conduct a class hour, I created a presentation, which included a short video clip from the life of the class. (One of the parents "filmed" on the phone some moments of the children's rest on that very one-day trip and a small part of the competition where the quarrel took place was also caught on camera. But, unfortunately, this was already a rather calm stage of their quarrel). Nevertheless, this story was a good material for a class hour.

My strategy of behavior in the conflict.

According to the method of resolving the conflict, I chose constructive way, giving preference to two styles of resolving this conflict: cooperation and compromise.

Because, with cooperation involves finding a solution that satisfies the interests of all children in the class. It involves the ability to control your emotions, explain your decisions and listen to the other side. Collaboration results in the acquisition of joint work experience and the development of listening skills.

A to compromise is the settlement of disagreements through mutual concessions. Communication partners converge on the "golden mean", that is, on the partial satisfaction of the interests of each child. I assumed that such a strategy would also be effective, because. it was clear that all children want the same thing - better relationships. As a rule, a compromise allows you to gain at least something rather than lose everything, and provides an opportunity to work out a temporary solution if there is no time to work out another.

During the class hour, I used methods of constructive interaction: persuasion, argumentation, attempt to agree.

used method of argumentative discussion, c whose purpose is to help resolve conflicts of opinion. I used all the positive aspects of such a famous admission to interactions like constructive dispute according to S. Kratochvil. During the discussion of our problem, we talked about a specific situation and discussed the specific behavior of the guys (specificity). All children were involved in the conversation ( involvement). Demonstrated clear, open communication, where everyone spoke for himself and thought what he said, there was good "feedback". It was "fair play".

III. Stage of conflict resolution

Consequences of the conflict.

It is possible that the conflict was the only way out of the tense situation.

Speaking about the positive aspects of the conflict, it should be noted that a particular consequence of the conflict was the strengthening of group interaction.

Thus, there are integrative consequences that determined the way out of a difficult situation, the conflict led to the resolution of problems, strengthened group cohesion, and led to mutual understanding.

results constructive dispute according to S. Kratochvil ) were also positive.

Every child learned something new, learned something new (informativeness), tension disappeared, bitterness decreased, claims were clarified (responding), discussion of the situation led to mutual understanding, some rapprochement. There is a feeling that the problem under discussion worries them, the self-esteem of each participant in the conversation was preserved (convergence). The situation was resolved, the problem was understood and practically resolved, there were apologies (quite unexpectedly for everyone at the end of the class hour, the class commander apologized to her classmate, justified herself for her behavior) and, finally, the rules for interaction in the class were drawn up ( improvement).

Measures to prevent future conflicts

1) Another series of class hours on this topic was held. The main idea was that children in a comic form "lost" various "conflict situations from their lives" and learned to restrain their emotions during the conflict. It was important for me to “convey” to them the idea that in a conflict a person is dominated not by reason, but by emotions, which leads to affect, when consciousness simply turns off and a person is not responsible for his words and actions.

Experts in the field of conflictology have developed a code of conduct in conflict. (Samygin S.I., Stolyarenko L.D. Psychology of management. - Rostov - on Don, 1997. - p. 468-472).

We played these rules of behavior in a conflict in class hours. All this was presented in a humorous form, moreover, different methods of behavior were prepared by the children in advance. It was funny and fun. And the children were taught very important communication skills.

Here are the rules:

1. Let your partner let off steam. If a partner is irritated and aggressive, it is often impossible to negotiate with him, so try to help him reduce internal tension. During his "explosion" it is recommended to behave calmly, confidently, but not arrogantly.
2. Knock down aggression with unexpected tricks. For example, ask an unexpected question about a completely different, but significant business for a partner, or confidentially ask a conflicting interlocutor for advice.
3. Do not give negative ratings to your partner, but talk about your feelings. Don't say, "You are cheating me," but rather, "I feel cheated."
4. Ask them to frame the desired end result and problem as a chain of obstacles. A problem is something that needs to be solved, and the attitude towards a person is the background, the conditions in which one has to make a decision. Don't let your emotions rule you. Together with the interlocutor, identify the problem and focus on it: separate the problem from the person.
5. Invite the client to express their thoughts on resolving the problem and their solutions. No need to look for the guilty and explain the situation. Look for a way out of it. There should be many options to choose the best one that can satisfy the interests of both communication partners.
6. In any case, let your partner "save face". You should not respond with aggression to aggression and hurt the dignity of a partner. Let's evaluate the actions, not the personality.
7. Reflect, like an echo, the meaning of statements and claims. The use of phrases like "Did I understand you correctly?", "You wanted to say:" eliminates misunderstandings and demonstrates attention to the interlocutor, which reduces his aggression.
8. Don't be afraid to apologize if you feel guilty. Confident and mature people are capable of apologies, so this disarms the communication partner and inspires respect and trust in him.
9. You don't have to prove anything. In a conflict, no one has ever been able to prove anything to anyone, since negative emotions block the ability to understand and agree. This is a waste of time and a useless exercise.
10. Shut up first. Do not demand from the interlocutor - the "enemy": "Shut up", "Stop", but from yourself. But silence should not be tinged with gloating and defiance.
11. Do not characterize the state of the opponent. Such phrases of the negative emotional state of the partner, such as "What are you angry / nervous / furious about" only strengthen and intensify the conflict.
12. Regardless of the outcome of conflict resolution, try not to destroy the relationship.

2) Those rules of tolerant communication that were developed in the classroom, we finalized with the children and placed them in our classroom corner. (By the way, the name of our class is the city "Wizards". In the form of stars, these rules are located above our "city"). At the end of each week, when we sum up the results, each student "evaluates" his behavior, taking into account how he carried out the "laws of the city" Magicians ", after his assessment, there is a discussion in the" asterisks "if there are disagreements, then he" connects " collective of the whole class I think that this is a good experience, because such a technique "works" for the development of tolerance, and, as a result, for the prevention of conflicts.

3) Not a single contradiction, dissatisfaction, dispute goes unnoticed. We "understand" on the spot, analyze the situation, discuss together with the children.

4) In the future I plan to continue working on teaching children the skills of effective behavior in conflicts and their constructive resolution. We have accumulated a lot of experience in working with children in this area. (So, for example, a book called "How to teach children to cooperate?" (1998, author - K. Fopel) contains a large number of interactive games aimed at developing the "emotional" intelligence of children.

In addition, at present there are restorative technologies that include teaching schoolchildren the skills of mediation. Our school has a collection of methodological materials "Organization of the work of the school reconciliation service" (Perm, 2007), which contains materials on the organization of reconciliation services in an educational institution. One of the goals of the School Reconciliation Service (SRS) is the social rehabilitation of participants in conflict situations based on the principles of restorative justice. The objectives of the SSP are to conduct reconciliation programs for participants in school conflicts; teaching schoolchildren methods of conflict resolution. I hope that such a service will appear in our school soon.

5) As you know, one of the main causes of conflicts can be an underdeveloped personality trait - tolerance. The authors of the book "Education of tolerance among schoolchildren" offer programs of work with children of different ages, methodological developments of various forms of education of tolerance in children. I will continue to use the materials in this book in my work.

After 4 months, I again conducted a survey among the children, which showed that the conflict was resolved, 65% of the children were satisfied with the relationship in the class, they tease and call names 25%, everyone noted that they were pleased that there was a ban on surnames (without a name) and nicknames . Children became more balanced, a little calmer. In very rare cases, they turn to screaming, but someone immediately stops them. The situation has returned to normal.

Literature.

1. Grishina N.V. Psychology of conflict. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2005.
2. Home tutor. Social studies for applicants (under the scientific editorship of V.N. Knyazev and others) - M .: Iris press, 2007.
3. Zhuravlev V.I. Fundamentals of pedagogical conflictology. - M., 1995.
4. Kan-Kalik V.I. Teacher about pedagogical communication. - M.: Enlightenment. 1992.
5. Kozyrev G.I. Introduction to conflictology. - M., 1999.
6. Organization of the work of the school reconciliation service (collection of methodological materials). - Perm, 2007.
7. Rogov E.I. Psychology of communication. - M.: Vlados, 2001.
8. Rozhkov M.I., Baiborodova L.V., Kovalchuk M.A. Education of tolerance in schoolchildren. - Yaroslavl: Academy of Development Academy Holding, 2003
9. Rybakova M.M. Conflict and interaction in the pedagogical process. - M., 1991.
10. Selevko G.K. Guide to the organization of self-education of schoolchildren. "School technologies" 1999, No. 6.
11. Shelamova G.M. Business culture and psychology of communication. - M.: Academa, 2004.
12. "School psychologist".: Ed. House First of September, 2007, No. 13.
13. "School psychologist".: Ed. House First of September, 2008, No. 10.

State budgetary special (correctional) educational institution of the Republic of Khakassia for students, pupils with disabilities "Special (correctional) general education boarding school III, IV types"

teacher of history and social studies, CDO

Ten Tatyana Anatolyevna

Cards with an example of conflict situations for psychological and pedagogical training

"Methods of constructive solution of conflict situations".

Situation 1

English lesson. The class is divided into subgroups. In one of the subgroups, the teacher changed. When checking homework, the new teacher, without acquainting students with their requirements, asked them to answer the topic by heart. One of the students said that before they were allowed to retell the text freely, and not by heart. For the retelling, she received -3. which caused her negative attitude towards the teacher. The girl came to the next lesson without completing her homework, although she was a diligent student. The teacher, after the survey, gave her 2. The girl tried to disrupt the next lesson, persuading

classmates skip the lesson. At the request of the teacher, the children returned to the classroom, but refused to complete the tasks. After the lessons, the student turned to the class teacher with a request to transfer her to another subgroup.

Situation 2

A conflict arose between the student and the teacher: the teacher is outraged by the poor performance of the student and gives him the opportunity to correct his grades with the help of an essay, the student agrees and brings the essay to the next lesson. First, not on the topic, but in the way he liked, although, according to him, he spent, according to him, his entire evening preparing him. Secondly, all crumpled. The teacher is even more indignant and in a sharp form says that this is a humiliation of him as a teacher. The student defiantly stands up and begins to swing his legs back and forth, holding on to the desk. The teacher first tries to seat the student, but, unable to stand it, grabs him and pushes him out of the classroom, then takes him to the director, leaves him there and goes to the classroom.

Situation 3

The math teacher delayed the class at recess after the bell. As a result, the students were late for the next lesson - a lesson in physics. The angry physics teacher expressed his indignation to the math teacher, as he had a test scheduled. His subject, he believes, is very difficult, and he considers it unacceptable to waste class time due to students being late. The mathematics teacher objected that his subject was no less important and difficult. The conversation takes place in a corridor in raised tones with a large number of witnesses.

1. Indicate the structural components (subject, participants, macro environment, image) of the conflict in each situation presented.

2. Determine the type of conflict presented in each of the situations.

Situation 4

Lesson in 8th grade. Checking homework, the teacher calls the same student three times. All three times the boy answered in silence, although he usually did well in this subject. The result is "2" in the log. The next day, the survey begins again with this student. And when he again did not answer, the teacher removed him from the lesson. The same story was repeated in the next two classes, followed by absenteeism and the call of parents to school. But the parents expressed dissatisfaction with the teacher that he could not find an approach to their son. The teacher, in response, complained to the parents that they did not pay due attention to their son. The conversation continued in the director's office.

Determine the behavioral styles of the participants in this conflict situation.

1. What style of behavior characterizes the teacher? Parents?

2. What style of behavior does the student demonstrate?

3. What style of conflict resolution do you think is the most effective in this situation?

Analyze the proposed situations from the point of view of the manifestation of the dynamics of the conflict:

Situation 5

Parents came to the kindergarten to pick up their son's documents. The child attended kindergarten for three days, after which he fell ill, and the parents decided to take the child. The director demanded that the parents pay for the child's stay in the kindergarten through the Savings Bank. But the parents did not want to go to the bank and offered to pay the money to her personally. The manager explained to the parents that she could not accept the money. Parents were indignant and, after uttering a lot of insults against her and the kindergarten, they left, slamming the door.

Situation 6

10 minutes before class starts. There is a teacher and several students in the classroom. The environment is calm, friendly. Another teacher enters the class in order to obtain the necessary information from a colleague. Approaching a colleague and having a conversation with him, the teacher who entered suddenly interrupts her and turns his attention to a 10th grade student sitting opposite, who has a golden ring on her hand: “Look, the students are all wearing gold. Who gave you permission to wear gold to school?!”

At the same time, without waiting for a response from the student, the teacher turned to the door and, continuing to loudly indignant, left the office, slamming the door.

One of the students asked, "What was that?" The question remained unanswered. The teacher sitting in the classroom was silent all this time, unable to find a way out of this situation. The student was embarrassed, blushed, and began to remove the ring from her hand. Turning either to the teacher or to everyone in the class, she asked: “Why and for what?” There were tears in the girl's eyes.

Analyze the proposed situations. Try to imagine possible solutions to them using the techniques from the set of prepared reactions.

Situation 7

During the meeting, one of the parents of students in your class began to criticize your teaching and upbringing methods. As the dialogue progressed, he began to lose his temper, angrily yelling offensive remarks at you. You cannot allow a parent to behave like this. What will you do?

Situation 8

On the street, you unexpectedly meet your colleague, who is officially on sick leave. It is her lessons that you are forced to “replace”. But you find her in perfect health. What will you do?

Situation 9

At the beginning of the school year, the school principal asked you to temporarily take on the duties of head teacher for educational work, promising additional payment for this. But after three months, the promised payment was not credited to you. What will you do?

Situation 10

At recess, a tear-stained student came up to you. In her opinion, you unfairly gave her an annual grade in your subject. What will you do?

Imagine what the teacher might do in this situation.

Situation11

At the lesson, the teacher several times made comments to the student who was not studying. He did not react to remarks, continued to interfere with others, asked ridiculous questions to the students around him and distracted them from the topic explained by the teacher. The teacher made another remark and warned that it was the last one. She continued her explanation, but the rustle and rumble did not decrease. Then the teacher approached the student, took a diary from the desk and wrote down a remark. Further, the lesson was actually disrupted, as the student continued to communicate with classmates with greater force, and the teacher could no longer stop him.