Mark Twain

There is no such person who would not want to be self-confident, because confidence plays a very important role in our life, it depends on what our life will be - successful or unsuccessful. You know this very well, and I know it, therefore, despite the articles already on this site on this issue, I return to it again and plan to return in the future until all my materials help you, dear readers, gain confidence in yourself. Together we will achieve success with you in this business! You will definitely become a very self-confident person, and then many doors will open before you, you will begin to live a full life, you will be able to realize many of your dreams and desires, you will fully realize yourself and become a happy person.

There are many ways to become a confident person that I wrote about earlier and not only me. All of them in one way or another need attention to themselves, they all need to be worked out. But there are ways that more than others have a positive impact on a person’s self-confidence, and in this article we will talk about one of these ways. We will talk about perhaps the most important way to increase self-confidence - about our victories and successes, which each of us should strive for. A successful person, a winner, will always be confident in himself, because he will feel his strength, thanks to his successes and victories. And success and victory, in turn, will depend on confidence, thanks to which a person can achieve his goals in spite of any difficulties. In general, friends, you and I need to understand all these relationships so that you know exactly what and why you need to do in order to gain confidence.

First of all, a person needs to learn how to properly relate to his failures, defeats, mistakes, mistakes, he needs to learn to understand them. His ability to achieve success in various matters will depend on this. After all, it is through failures, defeats and mistakes that the path to success lies. And in order to overcome this path, you need to be able to withstand the blows of fate and not give up. Then success is inevitable. But it is difficult, especially for people with a weak character. If a person constantly fails in various things, his self-confidence will fall. This is natural, natural and quite normal, since any failure shows a person his weakness and inability to live, therefore he cannot rely on himself, cannot believe in himself, in himself and in his strength. But he must understand that if he does not give up and continues to fight, then his perseverance and perseverance will sooner or later be crowned with success, it is they who will allow him to win and come to success. Therefore, difficulties must either be overcome, if there is strength for it, or, if it is not possible to overcome them, then you need to bypass and go around them, and for this you need to be smart enough, flexible, prudent, cunning person. So it is quite possible to compensate for a weakness of character with a mass of other qualities, but first these qualities need to be developed in oneself. This whole thing is acquired, you can make a winner out of any person, I am absolutely sure of this. The main thing is to find an approach to each person. Remember that winners are not born, they are made. And self-confidence is not a gift from God, but a consequence of the correct development of a person. It is important to understand that never and under no circumstances should one give in to difficulties, one must fight, one must look for opportunities, one must endure until at least an insignificant positive result is achieved, which instills in a person hope and faith in ultimate success. Therefore, learning the ability to overcome difficulties and achieve your goals - you need to start with small victories, but at the same time, it is desirable to ensure that they are regular, then the degree of confidence in a person will slowly but surely grow.

If a person succeeds in life, if he wins, his self-confidence grows, he trusts himself, he sees his strength, sees his possibilities, sees his adaptability to life, and even sees and feels his superiority over other people. It's important for us too, that's who we are. So in order to become a self-confident person, you need to learn how to win, you need to begin to achieve success in various matters, primarily related to the satisfaction of a person's natural needs. This is a very important point that must be taken into account - I mean the importance of a person's satisfaction of his natural needs. The fact is that you can be a successful person, a winner, in some matters of little importance for real life, but these small victories, this dubious success, will not make a person truly self-confident. Of course, he will gain some self-confidence from minor successes, especially if he attaches great importance to them, but the further these successes are from real life, from the real needs of a person, the weaker this confidence will be.

For example, a person, let it be a man, can be a very good chess player who constantly beats everyone at chess, and he can be considered a successful person, a winner, but only in the game of chess. Of course, success in this game will give this man self-confidence, but if at the same time he has serious problems with money, if he does not have a beloved woman, if other men whom he could consider his friends do not communicate with him - he will feel extremely insecure, and in especially difficult cases - a complete loser. The thing is that failures in more important matters for life and the inability of a person to satisfy his natural needs, as a rule, have a much stronger effect on his psyche than success, even if very large, in less important matters. However, there are exceptions that only confirm this rule. Therefore, friends, you need victories like air, but in such matters that are related to real, and not to virtual, imaginary life. Of course, you should start with small victories, with small successes in small but important things for life, gradually striving for bigger and bigger peaks. And you should always remember that life does not consist of victories alone, there is a place in it for defeats, failures, mistakes, which sometimes happen very often. And if you do not treat them with understanding, you will never come to success, in vain avoiding defeats and failures leading to it. This means that you will not be able to gain confidence in yourself.

How to learn to win important victories for life in order to increase self-confidence with their help, and how not to be afraid of failures, mistakes, mistakes, defeats that stand in the way of success? This task, in fact, is not easy, as it requires an individual approach to each specific person who needs to be taught to win in order to instill in him a taste for victories, for success. For its implementation, it is necessary to take into account the personal characteristics of a person and the history of his life. After all, different people are capable of different tasks, someone needs to start with small victories, someone can do more difficult things, and someone can immediately aim at great achievements. Everyone has their own possibilities.

When I help people gain self-confidence, I study their lives and themselves very carefully, starting from childhood. This allows me to develop for each person an individual recipe for success, guided by which they are guaranteed to win in matters that are truly significant for their lives, taking into account their desires and needs. If a person is poor, I help him improve his financial situation; if he is lonely, I help him find friends and a soul mate, and so on. In general, I help a person win where he needs to win. At the same time, we start the path to success with him from the very first steps that he can take, from the smallest, but very important victories. Thanks to small victories, which later grow into big victories, people gradually grow in self-confidence, and therefore they themselves, without anyone's help, achieve success in a variety of things, thereby increasing their confidence.

So, to put it simply, you need victories to increase your self-confidence, and not in some unimportant matters for life, but in serious, important matters that are directly related to your basic needs, and only then to all your desires. But to come to these victories is sometimes not easy if there is no clear action plan that takes into account the current capabilities of a person. It is not so easy to succeed in a business in which you need to be able to show your strongest qualities and get around other people who also want to be the first, want to be the best, want to be winners. Therefore, an individual program for achieving success is needed, and in those cases in which it is easier for each individual person to succeed at the first stage. Self-confidence should grow gradually, by overcoming a person of various difficulties and obstacles that he is able to overcome. But the big and quick successes that some people are able to achieve mainly only due to a fortunate combination of circumstances, most often make them overly self-confident and inadequately evaluating themselves and their capabilities by people, and then, for a short time, since external circumstances are constantly changing, and along with them, the self-confidence of those who depend on these circumstances and rely on them also changes. Therefore, you need to learn to go to success yourself, and not wait for it to come to you.

An important role in the issue of self-confidence is also played by a person’s attitude to the victories and successes already existing and previously in his life, which must be able to recognize and highlight against the background of everything else. People usually remember the bad better than the good, they remember their failures, they remember insults, they remember the evil that was in their life. But good things are often forgotten by them, successes, especially if there were few of them, are also forgotten, but at the same time, our self-confidence is based precisely on them - on our successes and victories. Let you make a hundred mistakes, but you will succeed the hundred and first time - it is this one hundred and first time that you should add to your asset, it is about it that you need to remember all your life, it is it that you need to use as a moral support in solving your current and future tasks and problems, and while overcoming various difficulties. If you know that you can, that you are capable, that you can solve any problems and succeed in any business, because you have already managed to do this before, then you will definitely solve your problems, you will definitely succeed and your self-confidence will inevitably increase. . Our past victories and achievements are our strength. We do not need to pump our psyche with all sorts of nonsense, because of which a person imagines himself to be a kind of superman who is capable of anything, we just need to be aware of our strength and focus our attention on it.

Your self-confidence, friends, is your shield from any difficulties and hardships, and also, this is your energy needed to achieve success in life. Therefore, you need to build it piece by piece, or even grains of sand, depending on the characteristics of your life. Victories lead a person to self-confidence, and self-confidence leads him to even greater victories, thus multiplying himself. Learn to win, learn to bypass and overcome all kinds of obstacles, depending on your capabilities, learn to see yourself as a strong person whom you can trust. And do not try to let yourself down - if you have given yourself a word to do something - do it, and always be sure to bring all your affairs to the end. Otherwise, you will not be able to trust yourself, which means you will not be able to believe in yourself.

Control your posture

Ask someone close to you to observe your posture, or even better, take a video of you so that you can evaluate your own demeanor. Your confidence directly depends on your posture - and it's not just that a person with a high head and a straight back outwardly wins compared to an eternally stooped one. Modern researchers argue (in particular, the social psychologist Amy Cuddy talks about this in her TED talk) that good posture causes the body to produce hormones that are responsible for a sense of self-confidence. So if you're concerned about how to become more confident right now, the solution is simple: keep your back straight!

Get inspired by music

It is difficult to overestimate the influence of music on our emotions - it is not for nothing that many of us have playlists for different moods: this serene melody is good for a calm morning breakfast in a sunny kitchen, this song makes you want to walk in the rain and be sad, and this one wants to listen in anticipation of a romantic goodbye ... Get a special playlist of songs that will fill you with self-confidence, help you feel more collected, more cheerful and more determined. Themes from the soundtracks of films about superheroes or athletes (classic - "Eye of the tiger"), stadium hits like "We will rock you" and other driving life-affirming compositions are perfect (Pink's work is the best fit - for example, the song "Perfect" as if created for girls who are wondering how to become strong and confident).

Remember your minutes of success

The most important thing in this method is to remember not just your achievements (although this is very useful), but the vivid emotions associated with them: a sense of pride in the result achieved, a feeling of deep satisfaction from a difficult task solved, the joy of victory - look in your memory for situations in whom you experienced such sensations. Remember how you finally ran the marathon, for which you have been preparing for so long, or how you did bungee jumping, or how you managed to finish that burning project in a short time. Try to feel these emotions again, as if those events are happening to you now - this will help you recharge with the necessary confidence.

Ze García dress, Aquazzura sandals, earrings, bracelet, everything - RL Jewel

PHOTO Olga Tuponogova-Volkova

Pay attention to the choice of clothes

Dress for success is perhaps the most obvious answer to the question of how to become a confident woman. And not only because they meet us all, as usual, by clothes, but also because the right wardrobe elements can add confidence even to the most shy and indecisive. Carefully approach the choice of image for a situation when you need to be on top: you need to feel irresistible, while remaining yourself. Take the time and effort to find your own style, ask your friends for advice, or even seek the help of a professional: perhaps all you need to become more confident is a slight change in image.

Get some exercise and sleep

Trite, but true: those of us who devote at least half an hour a day are much less likely to wonder how to become more self-confident - like those who skillfully plan their schedule and still manage to get enough sleep, despite a busy schedule and stress . The logic here is simple: in order to recharge with confidence, you must first recharge your body with vigor. And he will not remain in debt, providing you with the right portion of endorphins. In other words, a healthy mind in a healthy body.

Roberto Diz dress, earrings, bracelets - all RL Jewel

PHOTO Olga Tuponogova-Volkova

Speak slowly

Restless, confused speech is one of the first signs of insecurity. Pay attention to how Hollywood celebrities make speeches at the Oscar ceremonies - expressively, but slowly, majestically, with feeling, with sense, with arrangement. Not surprisingly, for those who want to look and feel more confident, psychologists recommend developing the habit of speaking slowly: this way it will be easier for you to control your speech, and the impression will be much more advantageous. Avoid long confusing phrases - this will make it easier for you to keep the right pace of speech.

Give yourself permission to make mistakes

Bouts of uncertainty often coexist with perfectionism: it’s hard for us to gather our courage because we constantly remind ourselves that this and that could have been done much better - the presentation could have been made more interesting, negotiations should have been prepared more carefully, information it would be nice to collect a little more ... This is exactly the case when the best is the enemy of the good: no matter how much we want to improve everything to infinity, reality rarely matches the ideal, we all make mistakes - and that's okay. As a rule, no one expects perfection from you - it is enough to do everything in your power to conscience. So take a deep breath, exhale - and act.

Production, style: @rljewel

Makeup, hair: Lena Yasenkova

Not all girls have self-confidence, which often turns into difficulties for them in their careers and personal lives. Is there a way to acquire this quality if it has not been instilled since childhood?

Signs of an insecure person

Rapid, chaotic, or slurred speech. You are embarrassed to express your opinion, and if this happens, it is clear that you are uncomfortable. The doubtful intonation in the voice of a shy person and interlocutors makes one doubt her words. Distracted look. You rarely make eye contact and are generally uncomfortable with being looked at and afraid of eye contact. However, please note that when you look into the eyes of the interlocutor, then he has no choice, he also looks into your eyes. If you constantly look away, then the person has more opportunities in the meantime to explore all the shortcomings (fictitious or real) that give you self-doubt. Clumsiness. When talking, you do not know where to put your hands, how best to sit down and the like. Due to your chaotic movements, some objects can often fall, you touch the interlocutor with your hands or stumble out of the blue. Closure. Girls who feel insecure most often prefer to lead a secluded lifestyle. If this is your case, then it means that you are trying to avoid the company of unfamiliar people, and other people's attention, first of all, does not flatter you, but makes you tense. Too inconspicuous or provocative clothes. More often than not, girls who would do well to gain more self-confidence prefer to wear things that do not attract much attention - they do not seek to emphasize sexuality or femininity, being afraid to look ridiculous. In more rare cases there may be another extreme - the girl puts on provocative things, thereby trying to hide her complexes.

If you notice any of these signs in yourself, then you probably need to reconsider your attitude towards yourself. Doubts that periodically overcome you interfere with a fulfilling life. However, the good news is that you can get rid of them!

How to learn to be more confident

1. You should find a hobby or occupation in which you can achieve good results. Think about what you have a predisposition to, and get on with it. Perhaps as a child you were good at drawing, sewing or dancing. Get back to this activity! A person who is successful in some area of ​​life (hobby or work) is more confident in himself. 2. Do not ignore problems that you could have solved long ago if not for your insecurities. It would not hurt you to go to the dentist for a long time, but you are embarrassed, starting the problem more and more? You need to definitely talk to some unpleasant person, but you are trying in every possible way to delay this moment? There can be many such examples. Until you solve the problem that has arisen, it will remain in your thoughts, and, therefore, in your life. Get over your fear and the problem will remain in the gap. Many difficulties are solved in minutes, and instead you spend weeks and months worrying. 3. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Others may treat you differently than you expect, solely because they are unaware of your sincere expectations. Feel free to speak out loud information about what you want from other people. Pre-formulate the thought in your head, say it to yourself several times, and then confidently and calmly voice it. 4. Deal with adversity with dignity. Having survived the betrayal of a loved one, faced with an illness or some kind of resentment, do not give up, but try to analyze the situation. Such shocks are not an occasion for depression, but for becoming stronger in the face of life's adversities. 5. Forget self-pity. You should love yourself, but don't be sorry. This feeling does nothing to improve self-esteem. If any trouble happened to you, you do not need to lament over your difficult fate, climbing even deeper under your “shell”. Sometimes resentment and anger at the fact that you are so ridiculously put in a similar situation can be much more useful and productive. 6. Take care of your appearance. It has long been no secret to anyone that the better a woman looks, the more confident she feels. Probably, you have noticed more than once that, having made a successful hairstyle or buying a new thing that suits you, you feel differently. If such successful innovations in your appearance will occur regularly, then this will undoubtedly have a positive effect on your self-esteem. 7. Circle of friends. Note that the wider your social circle, the better for you. Frequent communication with the opposite sex will positively affect your personal life. Regularly in many cities, and perhaps in yours, there are events where you can meet other people - exciting excursions, trainings and master classes.

How to become a more determined and calm woman

A calm and self-confident woman often causes only respect and admiration. Is it easy to become such a woman? Fighting negativity. You must not give in to negative emotions. Suppress the habit of criticizing other people and becoming annoyed because of their attitude towards you. Think about what makes the offenders do this or that, what deep motives they actually pursue. Talk openly and calmly with the person who is causing you a negative reaction - find out exactly what he is trying to achieve. If possible, keep your meetings to a minimum. Stop being offended. Perhaps resentment is one of the most unconstructive feelings that are characteristic of children, but very strange for adults. In response to some act that offended you, you should not withdraw into yourself and move away from the person - explain to him that his act hurt you. Argument this. Learn to build a dialogue, conveying your desires through it. Control emotions. If you feel that you are on the limit, and you are having a hard time coping with your emotions, mentally collect your thoughts. If appropriate, just walk out of the conflict zone by telling the person calmly and without offense, “Let's get back to this conversation later. I have to go now". If we are talking about a brewing quarrel with a stranger, then also try to turn off the conversation as soon as possible. Be calm. Even if there are millions of thoughts, doubts or indignation inside you, try not to show it outwardly. Breathe evenly using your diaphragm. Inhale slowly and exhale for a few minutes. Step aside and take a few deep breaths. Concentrate not on negative emotions, but on your breath.

Take a break. If something upsets or angers you, then find an opportunity to distract yourself from it. Take the example of Jane Eyre, and tell yourself what you will think about it tomorrow, or at least a little later. In the meantime, do something more pleasant for yourself - call a loved one with whom you enjoy talking, watch a good movie, go to a concert, etc. Do some sports. Many women and men who play sports are much better than others in dealing with their negative emotions. This is not surprising, since during training on simulators, wrestling, swimming or fitness, stress is significantly relieved.

When you need to be bold or self-confident

Of course, it’s great if you become a calm and reasonable girl, but often this is not enough for self-confidence. Sometimes it is necessary to demonstrate to others that you are capable of insolence. Do not confuse with hysteria! So when is it appropriate? 1 - Insult. If someone is clearly trying to hurt you more, then you need to make it clear to the offender that you do not intend to tolerate this. Learn to take a hit, and respond to outright rudeness in the same vein. Of course, you should not slide down to “market showdowns”, it is desirable to be able to put a person in his place with one or two phrases, like: “It's none of your business”, “Your behavior is tactless” and the like. 2 - Disrespect. When a salesperson is deliberately ignoring you, when friends or relatives are obviously taking advantage of you, or when other similar situations of disrespect occur to you, you may well be insolent - once calmly and firmly stated what you think about the person. If this does not bring results, start avoiding communication with him. 3 - Game. Insolence and self-confidence can be used in completely harmless forms. It can be a playful conversation with a lover - and you and he understand that this is just flirtatiousness, and both of you like it.

What is the difference between arrogance and confidence

What can be called arrogance? Perhaps this is a violation of established norms of behavior, for the sake of obtaining one's own benefit. Let's define the signs by which you can distinguish arrogant behavior from confident.

The behavior of arrogant people

Ignoring established standards of conduct. An example would be climbing to the checkout window without a queue, borrowing some things without demand from their owner, and the like. Absence of shame. An arrogant person doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him. He does what is beneficial to him, without regard to the opinions of others. Tactlessness. Insolent persons almost always have their own opinion on a particular situation, which they are ready to express even against the will of other people. Own interests at any price. If they need something, they will do everything to achieve it, while having “nothing sacred”. They may ignore the fact that their actions cause significant harm to other people, even if they are children or the elderly.

I will be bolder - I will become strong

In fact, by resorting to brazen behavior, you can quickly get some benefit, but later it can turn against you. The reputation of an impudent person does not paint anyone - such people cause irritation and a repulsive impression. Insolence has nothing to do with self-confidence, because the second is usually based on self-esteem, which is unnatural for arrogance.

What psychologists say

Most often, self-doubt can go back to childhood. Perhaps someone instilled this quality in you during your youth or junior school years - teachers, peers, or even relatives. It is important to realize that now you are an adult, and all those situations are in the past. It is much worse if there are people in your life who develop certain complexes in you. You need to avoid communicating with such personalities in every possible way, and if possible, completely exclude contacts with them (unless we are talking about a family member). Try to communicate more often with those who inspire confidence and self-confidence in you. Notice which people your mood rises in the company of, and initiate contact with them more often. Pamper yourself more often and give yourself gifts. Very often, self-doubt begins with appearance, and it is up to you to improve it. Head to the salon for new beauty treatments, massages. Pay attention to your hair, take care of your skin. Surround yourself with good quality things. It is better to buy things less often, but more expensive. You should feel confident in your clothes - no worn, untidy, irrelevant size. Things should increase your self-esteem, and not make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Discover new horizons - take on interesting hobbies, travel to other countries or cities. If you constantly develop in any direction, then your self-esteem will inevitably grow. Learn to express your thoughts clearly and confidently. Practice in front of a camera or a mirror, watching how you look from the side. The camera is sometimes even more useful, you will not be able to control yourself as much as in front of a mirror, and you will be able to understand how others see you. An insecure person is often betrayed by posture and gait. If you understand that you also have problems with this, but you should work hard on these points. Constantly control your posture until it becomes a habit. Ask someone to film your walk. Study it, and, seeing the shortcomings, try to correct it until you bring it to the ideal. Do not forget, while walking, look not at your feet, but straight ahead. Your movements should be calm, smooth and confident. Try to start looking like a confident girl, and over time you will become one.

Self-confidence gives you many benefits. It will help you do your job better, get recognition and appreciation for it, and get promotions and pay raises. It will also help you attract the attention of the opposite sex. Simply put: it will help you get what you want out of life.

On the other hand, shyness and self-doubt can seriously hinder your efforts and keep you from getting what you want (and deserve). That is why we decided to dedicate an entire article to helping you become more confident in yourself. But you should not forget that this is a rather complicated process. You can't turn into a confident person overnight.

Uncertainty has destroyed so many opportunities.
Erich Maria Remarque

12 ways to become confident as a woman

The 12 ways listed below work more effectively when applied consistently and in combination. Self-confidence is not an innate quality. It's just a habit. And although it is known that it will take you a lot of time and energy to create this habit, the good news is that it is even possible. Everything depends on you.

1. Use Positive Affirmations

In order to feel more confident, you can use positive affirmations - positive statements designed to reprogram the mind. This includes statements such as: “I am worthy”, “I am a born leader”, “Everyone loves me” and the like. There are several ways to apply this method. You can write down your mantra somewhere and repeat it to yourself every morning or evening before going to bed.

You can write positive affirmations on a piece of paper and put it somewhere visible (stick it on the wall or on the refrigerator), you can also write them with a marker right on the mirror. I do exactly that. When I wash my face in the morning, I have no choice but to look at these inscriptions. I have another interesting idea about how to make positive affirmations a part of your life. I already mentioned this in an addendum to the previous article.

2. Fake Confidence Until You Really Are

When people act confidently with others, they begin to feel more confident in fact. This is one of the most amazing rules of our life. If you want to get something, act as if you already have it. One of the peculiarities of how our mind works: the more familiar the idea, the more real it is. How to make it habitual? By constant repetition!

The more you do and say something, the more you believe it. If you want to be more confident, act like confident people do! It will seem a little strange at first, but don't let yourself get discouraged. Time will pass, and you will notice that your behavior has become quite natural.

3. Dress smart

If you lack confidence, the easiest way to increase it is by dressing like a successful person. If you are perceived as someone important, you will start to feel the right way! An elegant appearance is a universally recognized status symbol, so no matter what country you are in, you should always look perfect. Things like suits, shirts, good shoes, various accessories and gadgets all add confidence to a person.

4. Speak loudly

The way you speak and how you control your voice is directly related to your sense of self-confidence. Shy people tend to speak rather quietly. They don't want to draw attention with a loud voice. You may have noticed this yourself in various meetings. There is always one person who speaks the loudest, behaves very confidently, sometimes even a little arrogantly. He doesn't care much what others think.

There are other people who don't talk much; they stand quietly, and even if they are asked a question, they answer in such a way that they can only be heard with great difficulty. The next time you speak in a meeting, project your voice, speak louder. You will see for yourself what effect this has on your self-confidence.

5. Sit in the front row

Where do you usually sit at big events? Are you in a hurry to take a seat in the front row, or do you prefer to sit in the back? I often choose the second option, as do many other people. The reason is that we don't want to draw attention to ourselves. We prefer to hide in the back rows so as not to risk being pulled onto the stage and avoid having to answer questions.
But let me ask you something. Who usually sits in the front row at all official meetings? Who sits in the front row during fashion shows? After all, most often these are the most important persons from among those invited.

When you sit in the front row, you place yourself among these people. You let others know that you are one of the most important people, so they treat you accordingly. You will also notice that you yourself have begun to behave differently. In this way, you put yourself in the spotlight - outside your usual comfort zone. All attention is on you. You have no other choice but to feel confident. Once in a situation where there is no alternative, we adapt remarkably quickly.

In this life, you need only ignorance and self-confidence - and success is guaranteed to you.
Mark Twain

6. Body language

A confident person can be identified by the way they carry themselves. These people have good posture. They keep their heads straight. They look into other people's eyes and keep themselves open. When a person feels uncomfortable, suffers from or is down, he tends to shut himself off from those around him. And not only emotionally, but also physically.

We try to become as small as possible so that people do not notice us. We are trying to curl up, thus trying to reduce our exposure surface. This behavior shows a lack of confidence. You can achieve an increase in self-confidence if you use the "body language" inherent in a person who feels confident. There are many articles on this topic, some of which can be found on our website.

7. Take care of yourself

Quite often, self-doubt is a direct consequence of the fact that for some reason we feel awkward. It may be extra pounds that we would like to hide. Or we don't like our clothes. Maybe the hair is out of fashion. Or the skin is weathered. Or no makeup. There can be many reasons. Look at fashion models or other celebrities. They always feel beautiful, sexy and attractive. And it boosts their confidence!

Do the same for yourself. Change your hairstyle. Tidy up your nails. Update your wardrobe. Start exercising to become more alert. When you feel comfortable in your body, you will begin to project your good mood onto other people.

8. Use your strengths

If you constantly think about your shortcomings, sooner or later you will lose much of your confidence. If you fail so many things and make so many mistakes, where do you get confidence? Instead of dwelling on the things you can't do, use your strengths. You can be a natural speaker, an excellent cook or a super gifted businessman. Carefully examine all areas of your life. This will help you believe in yourself and increase your self-esteem.

Imagine someone telling you that you look great. What will you say? Are you familiar with phrases such as: “Oh, that’s an old dress” or “You know, I don’t feel very good today”? What do you usually say when you hear a compliment addressed to you? It's rare to find people who can take compliments.

We rarely say just “thank you”, without any “buts”. But think for yourself. After all, if someone spends his time to tell you something nice, then he actually thinks so. Why can't you just accept kind words? Why do most of us tend to downplay our accomplishments? If you have done something good, put it on your track record. After all, you deserve it! Allow yourself to believe all the good things people say about you. This is the easiest and least expensive way to boost your confidence.

In many cultures (including mine), it's not considered very polite to simply accept a compliment. This is perceived as rudeness and arrogance. So for people coming from such cultures, this task is more difficult. However, it's worth a try.

Self-confidence is sometimes a big folly. Only fools don't doubt.
Benicio Del Toro

10. Avoid perfectionism

If you strive for perfection in everything, you will often be disappointed. Being a perfect person is very difficult (if not impossible). You can always be better and faster, you can always do more. Stop trying to do everything and be perfect at everything. Recognize that good doesn't have to be perfect. And you don't have to be perfect either. , as a rule, low self-esteem, because they criticize themselves all the time.

Take a look at some of the confident people around you. Are they perfect? Treat yourself more fairly and be more tolerant of your mistakes and shortcomings. They do not deprive you of your talents and strengths.

11. Appreciate what you have already achieved.

Our confidence largely depends on how much we believe in our success. If you don't notice anything good in your life, your self-confidence is likely to be low. How can you believe that you are a successful person?

No matter what position you are in right now, it's safe to say that you've had a lot more accomplishments in your life than you think. We tend to look to the future and always compare ourselves to the perfect model of the person we would like to be. Or with the model that we need to achieve our goals.

You are looking into the future, where your ideal person has a lot of money, a happy and beautiful home. Then you come back to the present and become depressed, start to feel like a failure because you are so far from your dreams. However, we often forget about how much we have already come and what we have achieved. We rarely look back to remember who we were a few years ago and compare with who we have become.

12. Set small goals for the near future.

There is another method that allows you to strengthen faith in your own strength to achieve success. This method boils down to setting small, easily achievable goals. If you have been working on a large and complex task over the past few months, it is likely that at some point you will feel very insecure. The reason is that for quite a long time you fail to achieve your goal, to get what you want.

A great way to deal with this problem is to set smaller goals, which are milestones along the way to solving one big problem. With this approach, each goal achieved helps you regain confidence and self-confidence. The next time your boss approves of your idea, consider it a success. A handsome guy / man asks for your phone number for further communication? Arrange a holiday! Have you finished everything you were supposed to do today? Congratulate yourself! Fill your life with small pleasures, and in return they will make you feel like a successful person.

Your turn

What do you do when you need to boost your confidence? What methods work best for you? Join the discussion in the comments.
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To achieve success in life, it is important to believe in yourself and not be afraid of difficulties. How to become self-confident? What does it take to develop this valuable quality? Let's try to understand and find the answer.

Psychologists say that self-confidence is a person's belief that he:

• able to cope with life situations;
• can find a way out of any predicament;
• knows how to pacify the fears and doubts that rage in the soul.

Many people think about how to become bolder and more self-confident, as they understand that shyness greatly complicates life, hinders progress and communication with the opposite sex.

Looking at successful people, it immediately becomes clear that they know what they want, easily overcome life's obstacles and achieve heights in any business. It often seems that confidence is an innate feeling that only a select few have. But this is not true. Such behavior is the result of self-improvement. The difference is that some people need to work more on themselves, while others need less.

The first rule of how to become more confident in yourself is to believe in yourself. But this requires a foundation. Try to develop in yourself a few useful qualities that are characteristic of confident people.

• Do not feel sorry for yourself, this is inherent only to weak, insecure people.
• Learn to respect yourself. Each person is unique, inimitable and has all sorts of talents. Challenge yourself to find the qualities and actions you deserve to be respected for, and cultivate that feeling.
• Always maintain a flawless appearance and smile often. It is much easier to show a strong character and self-confidence if the clothes, makeup and hair are in perfect order. People around you feel positive energy and pay attention to it. It raises self-esteem and gives self-confidence.
• Try to fulfill yourself. You need to find an occupation that brings satisfaction and joy. Favorite hobby helps to stand out from the general mass of people and achieve self-realization.
• It turns out to cut beautiful dresses, knit, embroider? Your work will be admired, and this will increase self-confidence. You can blog, organize a shelter for homeless animals, play sports. People will definitely appreciate the achievements, and this will help to raise self-esteem.

The main thing - do not be afraid to start a new life, change the stereotypes of behavior. Stop putting up with the supporting role, and every day will sparkle with bright colors. It's difficult, but possible. Look back and count how many opportunities you missed, how many things you left unfinished, how many meetings you were afraid to go to because of self-doubt. It's never too late to stop being shy. It is always possible to have the courage and develop a sense of self-confidence that will help you earn the respect of others, become brave and live a fulfilling life.

Step-by-step instruction

This information is often revealed by books on psychology, and how to become self-confident they tell especially carefully. Many tips bring real benefits and help in working on yourself. For any recommendations to work, it is important to set a goal and not deviate from it. This is how people become confident.

• Record your progress

It may seem strange to some, but the method really works. Small successes are difficult to keep in mind, a person is embarrassed to talk about them, so he quickly forgets.

Buy an ordinary notebook and in the evenings write down in it the achievements that you managed to achieve during the day. They don't have to be huge. It can be a new hairstyle, a successful purchase in a store, a successful project at work, a new acquaintance.

Periodically re-read a kind of diary to remind yourself of your successes. It gives confidence on a subconscious level. Gradually, you will notice that there are more and more achievements. At one point, you will realize that you have become a more confident person.

• Fight your fears

To achieve what you want, you have to overcome obstacles. Babies can't learn to walk until they fall a few times and hit a few bumps. An athlete will not become an Olympic medalist without sprains and injuries. To gain self-confidence, you must constantly do the things that you fear.

Afraid to talk to a guy or smile at him - do it. It is difficult to read a speech in front of a large audience - overpower yourself and read it. It's scary to stand out from the gray mass of people - take a chance and stand out.

This will help you find a way to stop being ashamed of yourself and become confident. It will take patience, as it is difficult to overcome fear. But each new achievement will fill you with confidence. You will quickly notice that shyness and discomfort disappear, you become calmer and more courageous.

• No comparison

Self-confidence often crumbles to dust when a person begins to compare himself with other people. Under no circumstances should this be done. You immediately lower your self-esteem. If a girl meets an interesting guy and looks stylish and well-groomed, this does not mean that she is a fatal beauty and better than you. You see only the outer shell and do not know what kind of life this lady actually has, perhaps she doubts herself and her strength in the same way.

People don't look alike. This does not mean that some are worse and others are better. We're just all different.

• Pay no attention to failures

How to become more self-confident, and the advice of a psychologist, and books, and Internet resources are often told. They include an important rule - do not dwell on failures. When something doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up about it. Just analyze the mistakes you made and forget about what happened. If you delve into yourself for a long time, scroll through different scenarios in your head, the next time it will become much more difficult. Everyone has failures. On them, a person learns to achieve success.

• Criticism is not always good

Psychologists have long noticed that children who are often criticized grow up insecure people with low self-esteem, who find it difficult to succeed in life.

As an adult, try to avoid interacting with people who speak badly of you and strongly criticize. Their negative emotions pull down and at times lower self-esteem. If it doesn’t seem to work for you, deep down you still get upset and worried. In such situations, it is better to forget about the trouble and say: "I am becoming calmer, I am confident in myself and in my abilities."

• Change the way you talk

To become more self-confident, it is important to be on an equal footing with other people. Speak clearly, slowly, do not show excitement and fear. Do not be afraid to be active at work, express your opinion, take part in the life of the team.

Develop speech. It is the main communication tool. If it is inconsistent, fix the defects. For example, you can record your voice on a voice recorder, listen and try to correct the shortcomings.

Find like-minded people and communicate with them on topics that interest you. Carried away by the conversation, you will forget about uncertainty, the speech will become clear, bright, and over time you will learn to speak like this always.

• Praise yourself

How to become a self-confident person? Praise yourself more often, cheer yourself up. You don’t need to show off to other people; the rules of etiquette do not allow it. Say that you are doing well on your own when you overcome the next obstacle. Think positive. This will help to gain confidence and forget about many complexes.

A self-confident person is given out by an even posture, a sense of humor and an open look. Tell yourself: "Become straight, straighten your shoulders, do not slouch." Keep your back straight all day long and you will feel less stiffness and shyness.

• More jokes, do not hide your sense of humor. Laughter brings people together, allows them to be liberated. This is a good way to become sociable and confident.
• An insecure person tends to avoid looking other people in the eye while talking. If you have such a habit - eradicate it.
• When people doubt that you can do something, do not get upset and do not withdraw. Just demand clear answers as to why they think this way, and explain to yourself that you can definitely do it.

In order for a person to become self-confident, it is important not to look for excuses when you don’t feel like or are afraid to do something. Get rid of this habit and boldly acquire new knowledge, work hard, read, communicate with people, travel. With each new success, self-confidence increases, there is an increased interest in overcoming obstacles in order to achieve greater achievements.