What can disturb an adult childless person? Thousands of things. And the parent? Well, of course, his child: health, appetite, sleep, academic performance and a host of other things. And this mass often includes anxiety about the excessive isolation of the child, his unwillingness to communicate with other children, his increased interest in books and typewriters, and not in hide and seek and catch up. Do you recognize yourself? Does your child prefer to observe rather than participate in the company of other children? Does your little one enjoy putting together puzzles at home and doesn't like being interrupted? After school, is your child irritable and demands to be left alone? Do you have to make more and more efforts to make friends with your child with new classmates? Calm down, it's possible that your little one is an introvert.

For many a word introvert and introversion still sound like medical sentences. Often in consultations, parents make big eyes and ask in an ominous whisper: “And how to deal with this?” They asked it as if the introverted temperament was some kind of embarrassing disease, like lice. Dear parents of little introverts, now I will tell you what a treasure, in fact, lives at your side.

Historical educational program

In order not to be unfounded, but also not to fall into excessive tediousness, I will tell you how this term appeared and what it still means. So, introversion is a type of temperament. That is what each person is endowed with from his birth. The term was first introduced by Jung and subsequently modified by Eysenck. But since the first definition, this concept has been supplemented, expanded and studied from all sides.

The main and distinctive feature of an introvert is in the source of energy. Unlike the outgoing and friendly extrovert, who "feeds" on the energy of the crowd, the introvert needs to be alone with himself in order to restore vitality. The crowd sucks energy out of introverts as easily as it "feeds" extroverts with it.

In the world, about 75% of people are extroverts and, accordingly, the whole world is involuntarily adjusted to their needs and standards. That is why it seems to us that shy and self-contained people need to be sympathized with and helped. This is especially true for children. And this is the biggest misconception. Instead of recognizing the child's right to occasional loneliness, some parents forcibly drag their offspring to the company so that he can cope with excessive shyness, which makes the child even more disgusted with people.

It must be remembered that the scale of extraversion-introversion is similar to a line. And we are like dots on it. Just like a math chart. On the one hand, extraversion, and on the other, introversion. And some people are closer to one pole, while others are closer to the other. And there are those who are exactly in the middle - ambiverts, people with features of both extra- and introverts. That is not to say that introverts do not have extraverted traits. Yes, but some have very, very little.

How to recognize?

First of all, parents complain about the excessive shyness of the child. The kid may prefer to play alone or in the company of one or two bosom friends. In a larger group, a small introvert will often watch other children play and may be the first to ask to go home. But let's immediately define the term shyness. Shyness is excessive anxiety, fear of being rejected in the crowd. Shy children often fail to make social contacts, and after failure, they strongly scold themselves and get upset. Introverted children, on the other hand, are quite good at social interaction skills and enjoy participating in group activities. They just need more time to get comfortable and start playing and they may get tired and irritable faster if they have to communicate with many people at the same time. And if an introverted child is constantly criticized for this, then he may develop shyness. Just like an extrovert, by the way.

Introverted children already from childhood have an amazing ability to “turn off” in the crowd. Here he just looked and listened, and even smiled, and right there he seemed to be gone. He sits with his face buried in a book, or rolls a typewriter.

Here is a list of quotes from Laney's excellent book The Invincible Introvert that can help many parents recognize a child's temperament.

If your children are basically introverted, they are likely to:

• watching and listening before joining in some action;
• focus deeply on the subject of their interest;
• they rejoice when they are alone in their room, being recharged through self-observation;
• they speak only after they think over the topic;
• have a strong sense of personal space and do not like anyone to sit too close or enter their room without knocking;
• retire in their personal space, and to find out what they think and feel, they need to be asked about it;
• they need confirmation of their own normality, they may have irrational doubts in themselves;
• Talk a lot if the subject interests them or if they are comfortable with people

It is important to remember that among children you rarely see the so-called "pure" types of extraversion and introversion. And age crises can confuse the cards and confuse parents even more.

What to do and how to provide a small introvert with a sufficient level of comfort?

Many introverts in adulthood complain of misunderstanding from loved ones. They will recall with some special feeling the terrible moments when they were forced to push into the center of the room and forced to answer numerous questions of great aunts. Some of my friends confided that cheerful and noisy parents were even a little shy of their quiet and unsociable children.

Therefore, it is so important to know about the temperament of the child and provide him with an environment in the family in which he would not lose, but restore his vital energy.

Introverted children critically need time for themselves. They seem to create a bubble around themselves, access to which is very, very limited. And this bubble helps them mentally reboot and start a new activity with renewed vigor.

The life of our modern children is filled to the brim with social events. A world in which extroverts define values ​​dictates the need for communication skills. And it is not so easy for introverted children to defend their right to be alone.

A sure sign that such a child needs to be alone is a change in mood for the worse.

Children themselves may not be aware of the peculiarities of their temperament. And even more so to look so deeply into ourselves to appreciate the moment when it’s already enough. For this they need adults. Very sensitive adults. You, dads and moms, knowing your child like no one else, can prompt him and teach him how and when to take a break from a noisy society. You can tell him when he starts to get angry or black out what to do. For example, little introverts can be encouraged to read a book in a quiet place. Or take a player with your favorite tunes and, during periods of special stress, just put on headphones and press the "play" button.

At the same time, an introverted child, and in general an introverted personality, can even aspire to society. And the child may protest when you offer him a little rest. Here it is worth gently, kindly taking the child away, constantly repeating that this is only for five minutes and then he will be able to return back to the game.

Returning to the game, as, by the way, the beginning of the gameplay, is not the easiest moment for an introvert kid. He can shift from foot to foot for a long time, not daring to come up and speak, weigh all the pros and cons, mentally rehearse the first phrase. And here again you have to remind him that for a start he can just stand and watch. And no one rushes him to join the group of children as soon as possible. Your support, and most importantly, acceptance of his slowness in this matter, can be a key moment in your relationship.

Space is a very important concept for all introverts. And for little introverts as well. And this space should be in the baby to the fullest. Both physical and mental. If you are an extroverted person, then you will be surprised to know that your toddler hates things like unauthorized touching. Yes Yes! Thought he grimaces in delight when your friendly friend kisses him on both cheeks? And all those pushing, shoving and wrestling games that are so popular with boys. They can bring the baby almost physical suffering. Even a simple moment when your child's neighbor in the classroom sits, hitting him with his foot, can be very unpleasant and cause conflict. It is important, very important, to hear the child when he complains about such things.

Mental space is expressed in the fact that your child needs time to think about thoughts. And it's not that he's dumb. It's just that the thought processes of introverts proceed a little differently than those of extroverts, who are ready to instantly blurt out the first thing that comes to their mind. An introverted child thinks quite often and, if he is urged on with an answer, this will create significant tension, which can result in an outburst of anger.

Reading all this, it may seem that introverts are a continuous punishment or a fragile vase that needs to be constantly protected. But it's not.

your treasure

An introvert child is full of amazing qualities and virtues.

1. He, in dire need of space, appreciates it like no other. And will never jump on you when you are very tired and simply not capable of physical contact.
2. An introverted child is a thoughtful conversationalist and an excellent listener. You can be sure that all your stories about how glass is made will be heard. And at the end of the story, you will be asked the smartest questions, the answers to which you yourself would not mind knowing.
3. An introvert child, due to his ability to delve deeply into the essence of the issue, can be very successful in the exact sciences. Yes, in principle, in any science in which an extrovert does not have enough patience.
4. Introverted children are consistent and love plans. It's wonderful in our chaotic life!
5. An introverted child rarely needs to be entertained. He will not walk around you for hours, saying in a mean voice that he is bored.
6. Introverts have great long-term memory, so they actually remember which drawer Grandma has needles in. Even though you were with your grandmother six months ago.
7. And one more thing: the type of temperament in itself is in no way connected with the future success of the child. We have seen both very successful, social introverts, and extroverts completely unadapted to life.

As parents, what we most want is for our children to be happy. And you know what? We are able to do it. A little observation, a little informational support, and anyone who brings up a little introvert will proudly tell amazing things about their son or daughter. And the world will be better when every child grows up with a sense of integrity, harmony with himself, and of course, with endless love and acceptance from mom and dad.

Between children and parents it is quite difficult to establish mutual understanding. Despite the love for each other, due to the big difference in age, children do not always understand what their parents want from them, and parents, in turn, perceive many of the actions of their children as a whim and do not try to understand their mental turmoil. But if the older and younger generations are at least similar in character, then you can still somehow find contact. Much worse and more difficult in cases where children and parents are radically opposite. For example, in families where the mother is a typical extrovert, and the son is a real introvert, understanding rarely reigns, because mother and child see the world in completely different ways and relate to situations. But still, they love each other, which means they should try to find common ground, because otherwise such people will gradually simply move away from each other and their connection will disappear.

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Photo gallery: Mother - extrovert, son - introvert: how to find an approach?

Look at the situation

In order to understand how to communicate with your child, a mother, first of all, needs to look at the world through his eyes. She is an open and sociable person. In case of any problems and experiences, an extroverted woman always shares them with her loved ones. She generally talks a lot. An introverted guy is a silent and secretive individual who tries never to splash out his emotions on others. In general, it seems to many that there are practically no such emotions in introverts. In fact, such a judgment is fundamentally wrong. Introverts are great at feeling. They just experience all the emotions in themselves, both positive and negative. Introverts may seem too closed and unsociable to others, but in fact, such people simply do not need constant communication and they feel uncomfortable in large companies. If you are an introvert mother, then, first of all, you need to learn to look at the situation through the eyes of your son. When something happens to him, he tries to solve everything himself. And this is not because he hides something from you or trusts his wife in you. It's just that such people are used to dealing with their affairs on their own. Extroverts feel better when they talk about everything to their near and dear ones. But for introverts, this behavior does not help at all. It's better to retire, sit somewhere in peace and quiet, think about everything, come to your senses.

An introvert and an extrovert see each situation radically opposite. An extrovert immediately tries to solve something, tells others, seeks advice. He can cry, laugh, even hysteria if the situation is very extraordinary. An introvert will not do all this. He silently looks, evaluates, retires and thinks. And, if he doesn’t think up anything, then he won’t raise the topic at all, because what’s the point of it if the conversations still don’t lead to finding the right solution. Therefore, when you see that your child is closed to himself and does not want to say anything, you do not need to be angry with him, take offense, say that he is wrong. Remember that introverts choose this form to perceive situations. If something happened to a guy in life, he closed himself in, does not want to communicate with other people, in no case should you tell your child that he is a fool and no one can stand it at all. This is very painful for him, because with the help of such behavior he is just trying to survive his loss or some kind of problem. He does not want to tell anyone anything, but to listen to constant questions about why he is in such a bad mood, the guy has absolutely no desire. him the main irritant. That is why the mother must understand why the son behaves the way he does and support him. Otherwise, she will cause him a lot of pain.

If the guy knows that his mother is always on his side and shares his choice and decision, then from time to time he will tell you something, share with you. Of course, this will be completely different from what happens between two extroverts, but believe me, for an introvert, such behavior is already a manifestation of great trust and love. And you, when your son starts to tell something, you need to remember that you need to look at the situation through the eyes of a boy and not condemn him for the ways in which he accepts and resolves situations. They are not bad or wrong, they just look like the exact opposite of yours. But there is nothing terrible and terrible in this. Of course, introverts are less likely to rely on someone else's experience, but in this case, sometimes they are even lucky, because they are less subject to someone else's influence. But be that as it may, you must always accept the behavior of the son, otherwise he will cease to trust you, make sure that you do not understand him at all and become even more closed. And when this happens, then you will hardly be able to get through to him.

Watch your son

In dealing with introverts, observation can be very helpful. In fact, such a person clearly shows when he is in a good mood, and when he is in a bad mood, when he needs to say something, since he is disposed to dialogue, and when he should be silent. If close people do not constantly try to adjust introverts to their form of communication, but simply look at their reactions and behavior in different situations, then over time they begin to understand such people. Moreover, you are a mother, and your heart always tells you how best to act. But here the character gives its own, so very often it is difficult for you to hear the voice of the heart and you really want to do what you want to be done to you. But this cannot be done. And you will definitely notice how the son’s mood changes and worsens, how he closes even more if you use the wrong approach. But for this you need to constantly look at such a person. Yes, it is really very difficult for extroverts to understand introverts, which both sides suffer from. But if an extrovert stops thinking subjectively and opens his mind and heart to understand a completely opposite character and worldview, then gradually contact is established and mutual understanding comes.

don't blame

You can never blame a person, and even more so your child, for being like that. Always remember that his type of behavior is not bad or abnormal, he is just not like you. But if the boy does not show his feelings all the time, this does not mean at all that he does not love you. He loves his mother, he just wants her to love and accept him the way he is. And if you yell at a child and get angry because he does not show his feelings and emotions the way you would like, then by such behavior you simply break his psyche. Over time, he really begins to consider himself not like everyone else, wrong, flawed. Moreover, in a world where there are more extroverts, it is not difficult for such people to establish themselves in the thought that something is wrong. Therefore, in no case do not allow the guy to really believe this, otherwise it will hurt both him and you. So, every time you want to scream at your son in your hearts, remember that you are breaking his character and taking away his faith in yourself.

But in addition to the main types of temperament, people are also divided into two types depending on psychological characteristics: and.

In most cases, already from early childhood, a person can be attributed to one type or another and find out what type your child belongs to - an introvert or an extrovert.

Introverts feel empty when their physical space is invaded.
If they are among people, this in itself takes away energy from them, even if they do not interact with anyone.
Marty Olsen Laney. Invincible Introvert

Introvert child: character traits

- people who do not need others to replenish their spiritual energy. They are fueled by sleep, spiritual food (music, films, art) and may well do without communication for a long time. The energy is directed inward, to one's own feelings and experiences.

Among children there are obvious introverts. For the correct selection of methods of education, parents need to know what type their child has. You can notice the features of an introvert at a very early age, even in the first year of life.

Here are some tell-tale signs of an introverted child:

• Such children are not disposed to communicate with their peers. Sometimes it can even be a burden for them. They treat loneliness normally, they don’t worry about it.
• If the child is very small, he may refuse to go into the arms of strangers. Also, most likely, she will burst into tears with too close attention of the crowd, for example, at a holiday.
• Lack of communication breeds insecurity. Such children are also excessively touchy.
• They quickly get tired at mass events, ask to go home throughout the holiday.
• Often creative individuals. They have a vivid imagination, draw well. They can spend a long time doing this activity, even alone.

Noticing such traits in your child, you should not sound the alarm. These are features of the psyche and are not a deviation.

A child who does not run to play in a crowd of children, but spends time with toys, most likely does not need a huge amount of communication, he is interested in himself. This is normal, and you should not push him to the playground with the guys if the baby does not want it. When onslaught an introverted child can withdraw into himself.

Introvert child: how to educate?

Introvert children are often silent, keep everything to themselves, but if they can trust a person, they become interesting interlocutors and attentive listeners. They are calm, and thanks to perseverance, they achieve academic success more easily than extroverts.

• New acquaintances cause stress in children-introverts. That's why parents should prepare the introverted child in advance for changes in the situation.
• Parents should treat such a child more carefully. If there is a trip to an unfamiliar place, it makes sense to tell the baby about the upcoming event, discuss who he can meet there. Tell why friendship is needed and how beautiful it is.
• Introverted children are in dire need of personal space.. Parents should respect the desire of the child to have a secluded corner where he can be alone with himself and his thoughts. You should also be careful with the personal belongings of the baby. They mean a lot to such a child.
• Also, at first, it is important to help the child communicate with other people, until he has gained the ability to find a common language. It may be necessary, for example, to bring the baby to other children on the playground and introduce them.
• Do not force the child to speak when he wants to be silent. Introverts restore their vital energy by being inside themselves. And they spend by interacting with people. Therefore, it is quite possible that returning from a noisy holiday, the baby will be silent and will not rush to talk about his impressions. Do not confuse this with sullenness. Reluctance to speak does not mean that the child had a bad day, just that he spent too much energy, and now he needs to restore them.
• An introvert child does not get used to new situations right away.. It is necessary to respect his desire to get comfortable in a new team or environment. Having come to visit, let him play a little on the sidelines if there are many unfamiliar children in the company. Having got used to it, it will join the atmosphere. The main thing for mom is not to exert pressure during such a “distance”.

Without proper moral rest, communication brings unpleasant sensations to introverted children, exhausting them.

Conclusion

Don't worry if your child is an introvert. With the active help of parents, over time, the baby will acquire the necessary communication skills. And the talents that introverts are rich in will find expression in creativity.

It is worth encouraging independence in such children, helping them in every possible way in unfamiliar situations, and also nurturing their interest in society. It is important for parents to become a reliable support for such a child in an unfamiliar world.

Great artists, psychologists, writers and designers grow out of introverts, as well as wonderful true friends!

“An extrovert will approach you on his own, but an introvert will have to look for an approach,” psychologists joke, emphasizing the difference between these two types of personalities. We understand what are the features of communication with an introverted child.

About 20-30 years ago, when knowledge about psychology, and even more so children's, had not yet become widespread, they simply said about an introverted child “he is so shy with us!”. But “shy” and “introverted” are two different people. So, how to see an introvert in a child?

Behavior that betrays an introvert:

• The child seeks to spend as much time as possible alone, without a company, especially a noisy one;
• To find out how he is doing in kindergarten / at a children's event / at school, you need to literally pull details out of him, asking a huge number of clarifying questions;
• The child carefully monitors that his personal space is not violated by anyone's intrusion, even parental;
• The kid is not eager to attend large crowded events, especially if they involve active communication with other children;
• Unless necessary, the child will not, on his own initiative, enter into a conversation, even if the interlocutors are familiar to him.

An introvert, however, like an extrovert, is neither good nor bad. It's just a certain type of person. As with any person, an introverted child needs to find its own approach.

How to communicate with an introverted child

Rule 1: Give him space

Personal inviolable space is the "holy of holies" for an introvert. If you have the opportunity to allocate a separate room to your child, you will give him the best gift - of course, apart from the fact that you will not be constantly in it without an invitation.

Remember: the closed door to the room does not mean that the child is hiding something from you. He just needs to be alone to gain strength.

Rule 2: Don't rush

An introvert child will tell you about his deeds, experiences and achievements, if he is not rushed and not harassed with persistent questions. Believe me, he does not try to hide something from you, he is simply ready to share with someone, even a close person, only strictly limited things - and most often without details. You should not bombard the baby with questions about how he spent the day and what he liked at the children's matinee as soon as he crossed the threshold of the house. Let the child take a breath after the gathering of people and then tell you what he finds interesting for you.

Rule 3: Be careful with jokes

Introverts, who have a wonderful subtle sense of humor, cannot always show it. After all, the reaction to the words of others requires from them, for obvious reasons, more effort than from extroverts. Therefore, do not make fun of the child, especially in the presence of other people. Any joke said about them that they were not able to properly and quickly respond to is a mental wound.

Rule 4: Don't demand instant decisions

An introverted child needs a certain amount of time to make a decision, especially when it comes to the long term (he wants to go swimming or karate, he needs a pirate or bunny costume for a matinee, and others). Do not demand from the “silent person” to express his opinion or make a decision in the “here and now” mode.

Rule 5: Don't rush or tear

When the baby is busy with something (folds a pyramid, draws, solves examples), without urgent need, do not force him to quit what he started and start another. It is important for an introverted child to see things through to the end!

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Does your child's behavior confuse you? He behaves differently than you did at his age. He is indecisive, hesitant, reserved and uncommunicative. Instead of immersing himself in games, he prefers to stand aside and watch other children. At the same time, his communication is limited to only a few people. With you, he communicates completely unpredictably - sometimes he tells interesting stories incessantly, and sometimes he just falls silent, and you cannot understand what is happening in his head. He spends a lot of time in his room alone. And his teacher tells you that he needs to be more active in the classroom. But what's even weirder about all this is that he seems to be absolutely content with the situation. If you recognize your child, congratulations, you are an introvert.

Extroverted parents often worry about their introverted children and even wonder if their behavior is somehow abnormal. Of course, children can experience anxiety and suffer from depression in the same way as adults. Here it is important to know the characteristic signs of such conditions, their true symptoms. So, sometimes withholding from friends and family, along with low energy levels and loss of appetite, are indicative of more than just introversion.

However, many introverted children do not experience depression or anxiety at all. They behave this way due to the innate constitution, a special personality type. The more deeply you accept the natural nature of an introverted child, the happier he will be.

How to take care of an introverted child

1. Know that there is nothing unusual or shameful about being an introvert.

There are many introverts in the world. In different studies, their number varies from 25 to 30 percent. Among them are Frederic Chopin, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Arthur Schopenhauer, Steven Spielberg, JK Rowling, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi and many other outstanding and talented people.

2. Understand that your child's constitution is determined by biology

There are some differences between the brains of introverts and extroverts. So, for example, they have differently laid neural “wiring” and the movement of neurotransmitters occurs along slightly different trajectories. In addition, in their work, the brain of introverts and the brain of extroverts tends to different parts of the nervous system (introverts prefer the parasympathetic system - “rest and digest (i.e., analyze and synthesize)”, and extroverts prefer the sympathetic one - “fight, run or freeze "). In addition, studies have found that introverts have more gray matter in the prefrontal cortex (the area of ​​the brain responsible for abstract thinking and decision making). So if your child is more cautious and reserved than their extroverted peers, rest assured that there is a biological basis for this behavior.

3. Introduce your child to new people and environments gradually

Introverts often feel unsettled and agitated that they may not be able to cope both in new environments and in the company of new people. If you're planning to attend a social event, don't expect your child to jump right in and interact with the children in attendance. If possible, arrive early so that he gets comfortable and also feels how other people enter the space, which is gradually "mastered".

Another option is to ask the child to refrain from actively participating in the events and move to a comfortable distance - perhaps stand next to you where he feels safe and just observe the events for a few minutes. Calm observation will help him understand what is happening and adapt a little.

If it is not possible to arrive early or observe the process from the outside, just discuss the upcoming event with the child the day before, talking about who will be present and what will most likely happen, what feelings he may have and what he can say to turn on conversation with those who are interested.

No matter what new experiences you introduce your child to, remember to move slowly but steadily. Do not let him refuse new experiences, but respect his limits, even if they seem extreme to you. Together with the child, carefully and delicately learn and master what he is so worried about.

4. Remind your child to take breaks if they feel overwhelmed or tired.

It should be remembered that during communication, extroverts feel inspiration and emotional uplift, while introverts, as a rule, deplete it. If your child is already older, he can independently go to a quiet part of the room or to the street, thereby protecting himself from wasting his last strength. If the child is still small, he may not notice the moment of fatigue, so you yourself will have to follow the emerging signs of his fatigue.

5. Praise your child when they show social courage.

Let the child know that you admire what he did. Say things like: “Yesterday I saw you talking to a new boy in your class. I know how hard it was for you, but I'm proud of what you did."

6. Notice the moments when the child begins to like what he was afraid of at first.

Say, "You thought you were going to have a terrible time at your classmate's birthday party, but you ended up meeting new friends." Over time, with this positive reinforcement, the child is likely to be able to self-regulate the feelings of anxiety and fear that arise.

7. Help your child develop their hobbies

Your child may have deep and perhaps even unique interests. Give him the opportunity to put them into practice. Some kids do well with football and music, but be sure to also offer your child non-traditional activities such as writing studio or science camp. Active participation in their work brings happiness, well-being, emotional balance and confidence, and also provides the child with opportunities to connect with other children who have the same favorite hobbies (and possibly a similar constitution).

8. Talk to the teacher about your child's introversion

This will help teachers to correctly interpret his behavior. Some educators mistakenly believe that introverted children do not often speak up in class because they are not interested or do not pay enough attention to the classroom. Conversely, introverted students can be very attentive and focused, but often prefer to listen and observe rather than actively participate. In addition, if the teacher is aware of your child's introversion, they can gently help him interact with classmates, participate in group work, or just simply be in the classroom.

9. Teach your child to stand up for himself

Teach a young child to say “stop” or “no” clearly and expressively when another toddler tries to take a toy away from him. If the child is older and is being bullied or treated unfairly at school, encourage them to speak clearly and clearly to the bully or, if necessary, to an adult. First, he needs to explain how important the characteristics of his voice are: tone, volume, intonation, etc. Sometimes even more important than words.

10. Make every effort to make the child feel "heard"

Listen to your child and ask questions that will help engage them in the conversation. Many introverts - both children and adults - struggle to be "heard". After all, introverts live an inner life and they need someone to call them to frankness (“lured” out of their fortress). Without parents who listen and echo back to what they think, such children can get lost in their own thoughts.

11. Remember: Your Child May Not Seek Help

Introverts, as a rule, absorb problems (transform them into their internal "acquisition", giving them a subjective character). Your child may not tell you about a difficult situation at school or a conflict with a friend, although they wish to do so and/or may benefit from adult guidance. Therefore, ask questions and listen sincerely, while not asking anything and not turning the conversation into an interrogation.

12. Don't call your child "shy"

"Shy" is a word that has a negative connotation. If your introvert child hears the word “shy” quite often, he may believe that his discomfort with people is a permanent (“lifelong”) character trait, and not a feeling that he can learn to manage. Moreover, the word "shy" reflects the inhibition and suppression that the child experiences, and does not help him understand the true reason for his internal state - constitutional introversion. In addition, what often looks like shyness, in the case of an introverted child, shyness may not and often is not.

13. Don't worry about your child only having a few close friends.

Introverts seek depth in relationships, not breadth. They prefer a small circle of friends and, as a rule, they are not interested in being in the center of their peers' attention.

14. Don't take it personally or get upset if your child wants to spend time alone.

Anything that pulls a child out of his inner world, such as going to school, socializing, or even getting used to a new schedule, exhausts him. If he spends time alone in his room, perhaps reading a book, playing on the computer, or simply reflecting on the events of his day, do not be offended and do not conclude that the child does not like being with his family. Most likely, as soon as he is energized, he will want to spend time with family and friends again.

15. Rejoice in your child's constitution

Don't just accept the child as he is; Appreciate and cherish who he is. Introverted children are often kind, thoughtful, focused and, when their environment is pleasant and inspiring, can be very interesting conversationalists.

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