How to raise self-esteem Millions are interested in this issue. Success in life depends on self-esteem. Self-esteem is the attitude of an individual to his own personality, assessment of his potential, existing abilities, his social status, representation and vision of the personality itself. Those. self-esteem is not a characteristic of personality. Interaction with the surrounding society, exactingness, criticism of oneself and other people, attitude to successes and failures depend on the correct assessment of oneself. More often self-esteem is underestimated than overestimated. A significant role in the formation of correct self-esteem is played by the achievements of the individual and its evaluation by others.

How to raise your self-esteem

How to raise your self-esteem? Psychology says that it is quite simple if a person wants it himself. What is low self-esteem? Where does it come from? Many psychologists believe that inadequate self-esteem comes from childhood. Very often, parents, without realizing it, form a low self-esteem in children, calling them "blunders", "armless", "clumsy", etc. For babies from birth, parents are the most significant people in life, these are people from whom you need to take an example and therefore they believe every phrase they say. So, if you constantly tell children that they are bad, they will become so. The child will treat himself the way his parents treat him. Therefore, if your child does something wrong, then you should not call him an inept, it is better to just show how to do it right.

However, low self-esteem does not always come from childhood. Sometimes in an adult person, self-esteem can drop very much under the influence of external circumstances, for example, due to dismissal from work or divorce.

How to raise self-esteem? Self-esteem can and should be improved. If she has not moved to, then there are many ways to increase it. In the event of depression, you should seek professional help.

How to raise self-esteem? Psychology advises several proven and fairly simple methods. However, one should not think that the result will come instantly. Also, an excessive desire to achieve a goal can become a kind of obstacle to improving self-esteem. Regular repetition of exercises and unchanging faith in one's own strength will lead to success one hundred percent. If you decide to do something, then you need to start as soon as possible, without delay. The longer you tune in, the more the head will be attacked by a stream of obsessive thoughts of a negative nature (“you still can’t do it, why start?”).

You should try to learn something new every day. Self-education is the most important step towards increasing self-esteem, and therefore, to success. If you do not understand something in a conversation, then do not be afraid to ask again or ask a question. After all, it is better to clarify several times than to do it wrong once. Your questions will show the interlocutor that you are listening to him and taking seriously what he says.

Often we all hear the phrase “A healthy mind in a healthy body!”. And it is true. A healthy spirit determines an adequate assessment of the personality of itself. A beautiful, stately figure, in addition to gaining lightness and smoothness of movements, will also give confidence to its owner. Therefore, you should set aside time for daily sports training, you can sign up for a pool. Women are well influenced by a change of image, a visit to a beauty salon or a hairdresser.

Feeling good is essential to boosting self-esteem, and smiling is what makes you feel good, so smile as often as you can and praise yourself for all sorts of successes, no matter how small. You can start a so-called diary, where you will record your successes and achievements.

Under no circumstances should you engage in comparison with other people. Remember, you are an individual unlike others, this is where your strength lies. You can only compare yourself to yourself from the past.

With any accusations against you, you should never make excuses, you just need to calmly and clearly explain the motives for your behavior.

Learn to forgive yourself. Remember that there are no perfect people. Everyone makes mistakes.

Show initiative. Even if something doesn't work out, it's still an experience.

How to raise a woman's self-esteem

If you underestimate your own value and dignity, do not believe in your strength, then you have several ways to return your self-esteem to an adequate track and increase your own value in your eyes. It will take some time, but the result is worth it.

How to raise a woman's self-esteem? The main task of techniques and methods for raising self-esteem is the formation of a strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

Often children are teased at school with offensive nicknames. After many years, children remember the unpleasant emotions that the nicknames caused. This is due to the fact that in childhood it is quite difficult to separate other people's opinions from reality. Adults also often face such problems. Adults attach great importance to the statements of others, allowing them to influence their personality. You need to understand once and for all - it is impossible to please absolutely everyone. The only thing that matters is faith in your strengths and potential.

It is advisable for women suffering from inadequate evaluation to avoid an environment that suppresses them, emotionally drains them, pours them negatively or provokes unnecessary conflicts. It is important to try to spend as much time as possible with people who respect and appreciate you. Communication with them helps to increase self-esteem and help to believe in their potential.

You should not waste time on an environment that constantly criticizes everyone or is dissatisfied with everyone. It will bring you nothing but unpleasant emotions. Such an environment can only destroy the lives of others. After all, such an environment loves to be in conditions of universal sorrow. The worse for you, the better for them. Therefore, a qualitative “audit” of the environment should be carried out. Make a list of the people you interact with the most. These include colleagues, close people, friends and comrades. Ask them to name a few reasons or qualities for which you are appreciated. The more positive qualities your friends name, the easier it will be for you to believe in your worth.

Conduct a so-called inventory of your achievements. Awareness of your successes increases and gives stability to self-esteem. You need to know your positive traits, strengths, personal achievements. Everyone has achievements unknown to others. You should make a list of personal achievements and indicate in it the problems solved, crises, conflicts experienced, difficult situations that you withstood with dignity. At first, you probably won't be able to make a long list. Therefore, it is necessary to postpone its compilation for a while and periodically return to it. Try not to lose sight of any difficulty, no matter how small, that you have overcome.

How else to raise a woman's self-esteem? Try to understand that you are the owner of your self-esteem. Only you have rights to it. Therefore, do not let anyone control your self-esteem. If you do not become the sole owner of your self-esteem, then you risk being satisfied with yourself only if certain conditions are met. In other cases, you will be tormented by dissatisfaction with yourself or your actions. So, for example, you are in a relationship and your loved one began to behave differently, which led you to lose self-worth. This means that you are not the owner of your self-esteem, your loved one controls it. You gave him that right.

It is very important to understand who or what affects your sense of self-worth, only then can you consciously decide whether to allow someone to control your sense of self-worth and worth or not.

How to raise self-esteem for a man

How can a person improve self-esteem? And if this person is a man who a priori should not have low self-esteem?

The level of self-esteem affects all areas of a person's life. According to research, men have more adequate self-esteem than women.

It is quite possible to raise a man's self-esteem, but this is a rather slow process. In principle, conscious attempts to form self-esteem are useful to almost every individual.

Ways to raise self-esteem, first of all, are aimed at giving confidence in one's potential. The most important thing on the way to increasing self-esteem is to stop any comparison of your personality with others. There will always be individuals smarter than you in some way, more successful, having something more. If you constantly engage in comparison with others, then there will always be too many opponents who simply cannot be surpassed.

The surest way for men to raise self-esteem is sports. Physical exercises contribute to the release of adrenaline, make the figure more attractive, which certainly adds confidence to the stronger sex.

It is necessary to stop scolding your person with or without reason. You will never achieve adequate self-esteem if you repeat negative statements, let go of negative phrases about yourself and about your potential. And it doesn't matter if you scold yourself for your appearance, figure, social status or financial position. It is important to learn to avoid self-deprecating comments. An increase in the level of self-esteem is directly proportional to the opinion and statements about one's personality.

Learn to accept all compliments with a simple “thank you” in return. When you respond to a compliment with a phrase like “I didn’t do anything special,” you thereby reject the compliment and at the same time send information to your brain that you are simply not worthy of praise. This leads to low self-esteem. Therefore, you should accept praise without diminishing your dignity.

Use affirmations to correct your self-esteem. Create a card with positive affirmative phrases and place it in a prominent place or commonly used item. Such an object, for example, can be a refrigerator, wallet. May these affirmations be with you always. Try to repeat phrases several times a day, especially before going to bed and in the morning before going to work. With each repetition of statements, you need to create a positive attitude for yourself. Thus, the effect of affirmations will be greatly enhanced.

Read more literature or watch training sessions on improving self-esteem. Give preference to communication only with positive and successful people. Do only what really brings you pleasure. It is quite difficult to feel positive emotions about yourself if the days are spent at a boring and annoying job. Conversely, self-esteem will increase when you are engaged in a job you love or other activity that brings you satisfaction and makes you feel more valued. If there is no way to change jobs, then you can devote your free time to your hobbies that bring you joy.

Try to live your life. You will not be able to respect yourself if you live according to someone else's orders, if you make decisions based on the approval of colleagues, friends, loved ones.

It is impossible to raise a man's self-esteem by avoiding activity. It is necessary to act and accept the challenges thrown by fate. In cases where you act regardless of the result, your self-esteem and self-confidence will grow in direct proportion, thereby increasing self-esteem.

Believe that you are a unique person who has a lot of opportunities and great potential. As your self-esteem grows, your true abilities will be revealed. Try to take the time to educate yourself. After all, knowledge is power.

See how others treat you. After all, the environment is a kind of mirror that reflects your own attitude towards yourself. Therefore, start appreciating your "I" from this moment, without putting it off until tomorrow.

The self-esteem of a man is very dependent on women. Therefore, if you notice that your loved one has become gloomy, if it appeared, and he began to consider himself a loser, then try to support him, praise, give compliments. Remember, behind the great and famous men, there have always been women. Beautiful women are able to give their strong half wings with one smile, one kind word, but also cut off their enthusiasm with one careless phrase.

How to raise a girl's self-esteem

In order to increase self-esteem, you must first understand what exactly can bring it to a new level in girls. What will make a girl valuable in the eyes of others and in her own? Maybe it's money, a change in hairstyle or image in general, a car or an apartment, new knowledge or the acquisition of a profession? Is not a fact. Of course, all of the above are components, but all this will not matter if the girl herself does not love herself. People around you will always tell you whether you love yourself or not. Therefore, they treat you accordingly. How can you be loved by strangers who know practically nothing about you if you cannot love yourself?

Ways to raise self-esteem for girls, first of all, are aimed at teaching them love and self-respect.

All girls, without exception, regardless of age, breast size and leg length, are prone to periodic dissatisfaction with themselves and their appearance, relationships with surrounding men or girlfriends. During such a period, an external confirmation of one's significance, attractiveness is required to regain lost self-confidence and one's potential. Girls can convince themselves that no one needs them, that no one loves them. They do not understand how you can love a person if he has small breasts, for example. Then the girls continue to wind themselves up and come to the conclusion that everything is wrong with them. And of course, in this state, no one can respect them. Consequently, confidence falls and self-esteem decreases. And none of the girls think about the fact that they themselves destroy their "I" with their efforts. It is necessary to understand that people will see you exactly the way you see yourself - dissatisfied with your appearance, always aching, crying, and so on.

How to raise a girl's self-esteem? Learn to love your appearance, try to admire yourself always, at any time of the day. It is important to feel love for your person, regardless of your weight, height, eye color or shape, nose shape, etc. Each girl is unique, not like the others, a unique personality. Uniqueness is something that remains valuable and is considered important at any age. Think: would you like to come to a party and see your opponent wear the same dress as you? Let the dress be very expensive, but it will no longer be exclusive. That's how it is with people. You try to be like someone else, you constantly compare yourself with the standard you invented, forgetting that if you become like someone else, you will lose your exclusivity. Therefore, do not look for flaws in your appearance and appearance. Everyone has flaws. Others will not pay attention to the shortcomings if the girl leads independently and confidently. And independence and confidence are determined only by the love of the fair sex for her person. In order to learn to love yourself, you need to remember that any girl, girl, woman is beautiful a priori. Because every individual is unique. Such exclusivity is formed by a combination of all its shortcomings, bad and good qualities.

A person consisting of merit alone is a boring person. Much more interesting and multifaceted, having both pluses and minuses. It is the imperfections of the figure and character that give the appearance of ladies a certain amount of charm, charm, bringing zest and charm to the image. Imperfections make the fair sex mysterious, charming and unpredictable. There is nothing more attractive than a girl full of secrets.

Therefore, love yourself, along with flaws, feelings, aspirations and desires. Experiences try to accept and in no case suppress. This contributes to gaining control over them, which leads to confidence in their own potential and actions. In order to love your own personality, you must learn to respect your personality. However, this does not mean that you should justify all your actions. Justifying bad deeds is a step towards losing self-respect. It is necessary to accept the fact that you do not always act correctly, beautifully or correctly in relation to others. Try not to make excuses for yourself, but simply don't allow this behavior anymore. Learn from all your actions. You need to learn to understand in which situations you are right and in which you are not. Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes. The main thing is to try to prevent their repetition in the future.

So, if you have a lack of confidence in your attractiveness, then do not despair - this is just an excuse to take time for yourself, a reason to take care of yourself. Refresh your wardrobe, get a new hairstyle or hair color, try a different makeover. If you are not ready for a radical change of image, then you can experiment with a hairstyle - make a bang or vice versa, pin it up. There are many tinted shampoos that will give you a different hair color for a while.

After changing the appearance, it's time to do self-hypnosis. Have you ever thought about the fact that you are constantly programming yourself for negative emotions and your own inferiority, scolding and slandering yourself. Do you really think that this will not affect your self-esteem? In case of any failures, one should not reproach oneself, but on the contrary, tune in only to the positive. Any mistakes are not a tragedy, but just an experience. It is up to you whether you repeat them again or gain useful experience. Praise yourself for any successes and achievements.

To give yourself confidence, you need to educate yourself. The more knowledge, the calmer you feel during any social contacts, since the possibility of getting into a mess due to ignorance decreases, therefore, the reasons for anxiety disappear. Therefore, do not waste time, sign up for educational courses or trainings, start reading interesting literature, watch educational programs. All of this has a positive effect on the level of self-esteem.

Think of your ideal image and try to translate it into reality. Write down on paper all the character traits that you would like to have and stick to them.

How to raise self-esteem of the fair sex? There are a few simple rules that must always be remembered: no one has been born a queen yet, but many famous women have become queens over the years. Therefore, day by day, remind yourself that you deserve a lot; part once and for all with doubts and fears, forget about complexes; set goals and achieve them. It is not necessary to start with global achievements. Let the victory be small, but it is yours; keep a diary of your success; constantly follow the flow of your thoughts. Don't let them veer towards the negative; try to smile as often as possible. Smiling improves mood, relaxes and soothes.

However, compliance with all of the above rules will be useless without the support of loved ones. It is the influence and faith of native people that makes us stronger, more confident and better than we are. Therefore, it is easiest to raise a girl's self-esteem by praising loved ones. You should always praise the fair sex for albeit tiny, but achievements. Husbands should praise their wives for a deliciously cooked dinner, and even if it is slightly oversalted, because the beloved tried. Praise the girls for their sense of humor, tell them that they are talented, that you appreciate all their efforts and hard work.

How to boost teen self-esteem

Every person has a sense of their own worth. It is from it that the image of one's own "I" is formed and a sense of confidence in one's potential and oneself develops. The foundations of adequate self-esteem are laid in early childhood and depend on how children perceived and felt the love of their parents.

The child should feel that he is loved just like that, without any conditions, just because he is. Children do not need to do anything, striving for achievements and victories, in order to receive the recognition and love of their parents. Only under such conditions do babies develop an adequate sense of self-worth, supported by internal resources.

It happens that the baby feels parental love only when he meets the requirements and expectations of adults. So, for example, he should always be obedient, put away toys and his things, get only good grades at school. This feeling of love leads to the appearance of inner unrest due to the need to constantly meet some of the requirements and expectations of parents. In such cases, there is a lack of a sense of self-worth and there is a constant need to feed it from the outside.

People with a lack of self-worth are quite vulnerable in circumstances when they are treated unfairly, undeservedly, when they feel hidden or open, hypocrisy, when their hopes are not justified, when they feel disappointed.

It is the puberty period (adolescence) that is a turning point in the life of an emerging and developing personality. And self-esteem in adolescents is their most vulnerable spot. The lower its level, the higher the likelihood of various complexes that can significantly worsen the life of an individual even at an older age. Parents have a huge responsibility during this period. It is they who should help their child in such a difficult and difficult period for him.

How to raise a teenager's self-esteem? First of all, the parents of a teenager need to monitor his appearance and try to correct it if he is not in order (for example, very often teenagers are embarrassed by youthful acne, the task of parents is to help them get rid of a tormenting problem). You should always listen to what exactly the child wants. You need to let him decide on his own what to wear today, choose things for himself in stores. Parents can only slightly adjust their choice and control unobtrusively. Try to praise your teenager as often as possible. Do not look for his shortcomings, try to pay attention only to his pluses.

Most parents don't even realize that you can boost your teen's self-esteem by teaching them just to say "no". If a child cannot refuse anyone or anything, then this can lead, after a while, to dependence on other people. The teenager will feel led. Therefore, try to explain in what situations you can refuse. You need to teach him to refuse so that he does not feel uncomfortable.

It is very important that parents respect their children. Treat your teenager with respect, because you need to understand that although he is not yet an adult, he is no longer a child. A person should not be treated like a child. Talk to him more often. In the process of communicating with him, try to behave like an adult.

A few simple tips on how to raise your child's self-esteem. First, you need to learn how to properly praise your child. You should not praise him for what is given to him by nature or for beautiful clothes. Praise your teenager for his achievements, small victories, successes. To make the child feel that you treat him as an equal, ask him for advice more often, be interested in his opinion. Secondly, it is necessary to encourage initiative in a teenager. Any initiative is a step towards adequate self-esteem. Teach your child to analyze his mistakes and failures. Help him understand that a mistake is an experience, it's just another step on the way to success.

Instruction

The first advice for those who are thinking about increasing self-esteem and confidence: make time for yourself, plan for the future. If it constantly seems that the whole world is against it, you should listen to yourself. And before you put up with the world, you have to make peace with yourself. Most often, low self-esteem is the result of ignoring one's own desires, the lack of clear goals. Instead - blurry Manilovian dreams, "I want a billion or a necklace, like a movie actress."

You need to find time for yourself. Calmly consider what is really worth (and possible) to achieve. What does not suit you in the first place, what to get rid of. Then comes the understanding of how to do it. And then - planning, setting immediate and distant goals. And concrete, small, but systematic steps towards the goal.

Big goals are unattainable when a person is depressed. As the first, small goals, we can recommend the formation and consolidation of good habits. To regain self-confidence, increase self-esteem, you need to pay attention to the organization of your own life. Healthy sleep, daily routine, five-minute (but daily) exercises, rational nutrition are tools for more efficient human functioning. Banal, at first glance, advice can significantly improve well-being, there will be strength to achieve goals, time for personal growth.

It is unlikely that increasing self-esteem, personal growth, self-improvement are possible without intellectual development. Read books in your field, preferably translated ones. Try to develop your hobby, in the new century this hobby can become a second profession. Read classical literature, memoirs of worthy people who are authority for you.

A great way to disconnect from the constant negativity, digging into yourself is active rest. It doesn't have to be mountain climbing or cross-country skiing. The main thing is that the rest is varied and new. This will allow you to change the situation and the familiar environment. For example: an interesting culinary master class, an author's tour of his native city, an exhibition of alternative art or a visit to the opera (especially if the theater was not in honor before). All participants of the master class, all visitors of the exhibition are in equal conditions. This will allow you to take your mind off the constant comparison of yourself with other people, take a big step towards increasing self-esteem and self-confidence.

Self-criticism is destructive, it will not help raise self-esteem. You can't beat yourself up all the time. The energy required for practical actions is expended. If a disgruntled voice habitually sounds in the head, it is urgent to appease the internal censor. We close his mouth as we close the faucet so that water does not leak.

Use meditation practices. Analyze your positive qualities in different areas: professional, family, emotional. Write them down on a small piece of paper and carry them with you. Skim through this list often. In a difficult situation, mentally list your pluses, this will help to gain self-confidence.

To set yourself up for tomorrow's performance (important conversation, interview), you can prepare a small individual mantra. A few affirmative phrases listing the best personal qualities and professional skills. Interesting motivational trainings to increase self-esteem and confidence can be found on the Internet.

Listen to yourself, analyze where the main flow of negativity comes from. Perhaps this person is internally indecisive, and therefore spreads this emotion around him. And further. Don't argue with fools. Their opinion hardly reflects reality. It is advisable to spend energy on your own development and achievement of specific individual results.

It is worth understanding that it is not very difficult to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. Numerous trainings on the Internet will help to do this, among them there are many high-quality and free ones. But the most important thing is to stabilize self-esteem (so that it does not decrease at all). Here you will have to seek help only from professional psychologists.

Low self-esteem is a very serious problem for many girls, because it threatens them not only with disappointments in their personal lives, but also with failures in the professional field. What self-esteem can be considered low and is there a way to increase it?

What is self-esteem

Normal self-esteem

So, if you are the owner of adequate self-esteem, then we can say that you are very lucky. For people of this type, a real assessment of their capabilities is typical. Such girls are not afraid to set themselves serious goals, and have a clear idea of ​​​​how this goal can submit to them. There is also an opinion that only a truly mature person can have normal self-esteem - this is possible both at sixteen and at forty.

A high self-evaluation

Perhaps people of this type are considered the most unpleasant personalities for others than others. It is noteworthy that often they do not even realize that their self-esteem is really inflated. However, some believe that only such persons are able to achieve great goals - with a certain amount of luck, this is true. However, the main problem of arrogant people is that they quickly lose real friendships due to their own unwillingness and inability to admit their mistakes. Also, such people greatly overestimate their importance in the world around them - at work, among friends, in the family, and so on. They are rarely able to sincerely apologize, because they often do not suspect that they can really do wrong. As a rule, they are friends with such people and communicate only because of possible benefits or from hopelessness.

Low or low self-esteem (causes and signs)

The hardest life is for girls who are prone to low self-esteem. Most often, the reason lies in the wrong upbringing on the part of parents or in other problems during the school years. What is characteristic of a person whose self-esteem is clearly underestimated? As a rule, almost immediately it is evident that the girl is unsure of herself. Most often, she is uncommunicative and rather reserved - she is very afraid to voice her opinion, even if she is asked about it. In addition, such a girl takes the initiative only in the most extreme cases, preferring to act on someone else's orders. It often seems to her that she looks stupid or inappropriate, and if representatives of the opposite sex begin to show interest in her, she immediately begins to look for some kind of or a trick. Girls of this type prefer not to draw attention to themselves, and if they have to be in some kind of company, then they will be calmer if they remain practically unnoticed.

Relationships in the family

Many people know that most of the complexes are drawn to a person from childhood, and if parents do not notice or even provoke some kind of problem in the child's self-esteem, then it is likely to fully manifest itself in adulthood. If your parents did not give you enough attention and love, but at the same time found the opportunity to criticize and regularly make various demands, then probably now your self-esteem is somewhat underestimated. Comparisons of your child with his friends, in favor of the latter, also do not affect in the best way. The child gets used to feeling inferior to others, and this habit passes into adulthood.

Relationships with peers

A very important factor to pay close attention to. If as a child you had some features or talents that your peers treated with ridicule, then this is a very serious cause for concern. Due to the disapproving attitude of friends and classmates, it is difficult for a child to accept himself, and this feeling of some kind of “wrongness” accompanies him in adulthood. At the same time, it is important to emphasize that if relations in the family are good, and the child receives an adequate upbringing, then the influence of peers, most likely, will not affect his future life. If you notice that your children are uncomfortable in the company of their peers, then this is a serious reason to change the environment of your kids, as well as to do psychological work with them.

The first love

The first loves - in childhood or adolescence - can also have a big impact on self-esteem. In general, here we can mention relationships with the opposite sex, in general. If a girl aroused sympathy among boys, then this would probably have a positive effect on her own perception of herself. However, if the boys not only did not notice her, but also mocked her, this could negatively affect the formation of female self-esteem. In addition, it also matters what the girl's first love was - mutual or not. If the love turned into a romantic relationship, this is a good sign, but if the girl was rejected, this is likely to affect her self-esteem.

Ways to increase self-esteem in a woman or girl

Accept and love yourself

If you suffer from low self-esteem, then the conclusion suggests itself - you need to urgently increase it. First of all, realize that there are no perfect people, even if it seems to you that they are not. Do not dwell on your shortcomings, many of which you probably made up yourself - these are just your features. Instead, pay attention to your strengths. If you think that you don't have them, then you are wrong. Look for the good in yourself until you find it! It is also possible that you are one step away from some of your advantages. Perhaps sports will give you a perfect figure, makeup lessons will teach you how to use cosmetics as effectively and successfully as possible, cutting and sewing courses will allow you to create winning outfits for yourself. Be that as it may, in your case it is very important to love yourself under any circumstances, even when it seems to you that you are not worthy of this love. Become your main support, and your life will begin to improve.

Stop comparing yourself to others

People with low self-esteem, comparing themselves with others, as a rule, do it not in their favor. Realize that any comparison is an absolutely useless exercise that will not lead to anything good. Of course, it’s another matter if, by comparing yourself with someone else, you gain an incentive to become better yourself. In the case when everything ends only with self-flagellation and a bad mood, this habit must be abandoned. All people are different - everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages, even if it seems to you that there are exceptions. Do not compare yourself to anyone - just take care of yourself and improve, without looking at anyone.

Down with self-criticism

Self-criticism can only be useful if it stimulates you to new achievements. Unfortunately, girls who suffer from low self-esteem, criticizing themselves, only make things worse. Mentally again and again returning to your imperfections, you only drive yourself into depression. Instead, find a reason to praise yourself. Also encourage any of your small victories - buy yourself goodies, take care of yourself.

Be a little selfish

Many women with low self-esteem are highly self-sacrificing. Believing that they do not deserve love in themselves, such persons try to "deserve" or "earn" love and attention. This can manifest itself in relationships with a husband or friends. Perhaps you are also affected by this. Examples of such behavior: you make expensive gifts to people, infringing on yourself; you spend time on their affairs, relegating your own worries to the background; you regularly adjust to other people's plans, even if it is inconvenient for you, and so on. If you notice something like this for yourself, then you need to urgently change it. Learn to put your needs and desires first - at first it will be unusual for you, but then you will feel all the benefits of such tactics.

Faith in yourself and in your success

Do not doubt yourself and do not belittle your dignity. If you want to achieve something, then do not deprive yourself of such an opportunity! If you do not make an attempt, then everything will remain the same, but if your efforts are crowned with success, your life will sparkle with new colors - believe that this is exactly what will happen! To set yourself in the right mood, periodically read the biographies of successful people.

If you don’t like something in yourself or your life, then only in your power to fix it! Self-development and self-improvement will never be superfluous. Take time to learn new things and take care of your health and appearance. Be attentive to your health, periodically sign up for useful cosmetic procedures, expand your horizons. You can start living a really interesting life if you choose to! For very few people, everything comes easy, and if you think that someone is very lucky, but you are not, then most likely it is not a matter of luck at all, but of hard work on yourself. Think about what qualities you don't like about yourself, leave a plan by which you can fix it, and stick to it.

Forgive yourself for defeats, praise for victories

Many girls are very painful about their defeats. Such a development of events most often drives them into a depressed state and significantly undermines self-confidence. If this is your case, then it is useful for you to learn to ignore such mistakes, only drawing the necessary lessons from them. At the same time, you should develop a completely different attitude towards your victories. Remember your achievements, reward yourself for them by giving yourself small or large gifts.

More positivity and optimism

It is very important for a girl suffering from low self-esteem to learn to think positively. On the Internet you can find many methods on this subject, but the essence is the same - whatever happens, look for positive aspects in this, even if it is rather difficult. Try not only not to talk about negative topics, but also not to think about them. Control yourself - thinking about something bad, immediately switch to more pleasant thoughts. In any situation, initially set yourself up for success, and it will accompany you!

Fight your fears. If you feel uncomfortable in large companies, and you get lost in conversations with unfamiliar people, then this can be corrected. Oratory courses, periodic visits to crowded places can help you. Try to meet your fear, and then it will start to recede. Comprehend new knowledge. If you are not yet comfortable attending any courses or master classes, look for the necessary lessons on the Internet. So you can learn a foreign language, learn to sew, dance and much more. The more new skills you acquire, the higher your self-esteem will be. Do not communicate with people who underestimate your self-esteem. If there is even the slightest possibility of this, cut off contact with them altogether. Such communication will only harm you, and under such circumstances it is very difficult to achieve a positive result. At the same time, try to be in the company of people next to whom you feel confident and comfortable more often. Special attention taking care of yourself and your appearance. People who are afraid of drawing attention to themselves are usually afraid that some kind of flaw will become obvious to others. You do not have to live with this feeling - find any way to correct what confuses you and limits you in communicating with other people. If you have enough time to engage in self-criticism and indulge in discouragement, then it is better to direct it to completely a different direction - set big and small goals for yourself, make plans for how they can be achieved, and then proceed to implement your ideas. And in no case do not think that you will not succeed. If you really want something, then it is achievable, even if not on the first try. The main thing is to start taking action, because usually the first step is the most difficult.

• • Self-assessment functions and their role
• • "Symptoms" of low self-esteem
• • Signs of “healthy” (high) self-esteem
• • Reason #1. Family upbringing mistakes
  • Reason number 2. Frequent failures in childhood
  • Reason number 3. Lack of clear life goals and passions
  • Reason number 4. Negative social environment
  • Reason number 5. Health problems and flaws in appearance
• • Method number 1. Change the environment and try to communicate more with successful people
  • Method number 2. Attending special trainings, seminars and other events
  • Method number 3. Don't be afraid to take unusual actions
  • Method number 4. Let go of too much self-criticism
  • Method number 5. Sports and healthy lifestyle
  • Method number 6. Regular listening to affirmations
  • Method number 7. Keep a diary of personal successes and achievements
• 9. Conclusion

What is the essence and importance of the concept of "self-esteem". “The most important thing is how you see yourself.” This statement is the true truth, it is almost impossible not to agree with it.

Indeed, any victory, from the most insignificant to a brilliant triumph, is undoubtedly the result of the fact that at a certain stage of his life a person absolutely sincerely believed in himself, correctly assessed his own significance, gained firm faith in the strength of his capabilities.

In this article you will learn:

• What is self-esteem?
• How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? And how to develop it?
• Does self-esteem affect human behavior?

We will also discuss how most people evaluate themselves and how the course of their life depends on self-perception.

Boost Your Confidence - 7 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

1. What is self-esteem: definition and its impact on our lives

Self-esteem - this is the opinion of the individual about the importance and significance of his own personality relative to other people, as well as his assessment of personal qualities - shortcomings and advantages.

Undoubtedly, for the full-fledged harmonious functioning of a person in a social environment, an objective self-assessment is necessary.

Without a healthy sense of self and understanding of the value of one's own personality, a person's achievement of many life goals - success in society, career growth and advancement, sufficient self-realization, material prosperity, harmony in the family circle, spiritual well-being - becomes completely impossible. (Read also the article - and money in your life, there you will find all the popular ways to attract money)

Self-assessment functions and their role

Self-assessment performs the following functions:

• Protective- guarantees a certain independence of the individual from outside opinion;
• Regulatory- provides an opportunity to solve problems of personal preference;
• Educational- initiates an impetus to the improvement of the individual.

In the early stages of the formation of self-esteem, of course, it is of paramount importance assessment of the child's personality those around them - primarily parents, as well as educators and teachers, friends and peers.

Under ideal conditions, self-esteem should be determined only by the individual's own opinion of himself, but in society this is impossible. A person is in constant psychological interaction with other people, and, therefore, his formation as a person and the formation of his self-esteem are influenced by countless factors.

According to psychologists and experts, perfect self-esteem –it is an extremely accurate and correct assessment of a person's own abilities. This is extremely important!

After all, if self-esteem is underestimated, then it forces a person to constantly doubt the choice of a particular decision, to think for a long time, be afraid and, often, make the wrong choice. But too high self-esteem, on the contrary, leads to the fact that a person’s decisions are unjustifiably bold, sometimes even bold, do not correspond to the potential of his capabilities, and this also leads to a huge number of gross life mistakes.

Nevertheless, more often psychologists are faced with the problem of underestimating a person of his strengths and capabilities. Such a person is completely unable to reveal his potential properly, while he is absolutely unaware of where his problem lies, makes more and more mistakes due to constant self-doubt, and does not understand at all how to raise self-esteem. Due to the constant feeling of the meaninglessness of their existence, people with low self-esteem are often unsuccessful, poor, unhappy.

One of the most common pathological manifestations of low self-esteem is inferiority complex .

2. Learn to respect and love yourself - this is immensely important!

Raising self-esteem means learning to respect yourself, to love yourself, i.e. accept yourself exactly as you are, with all your flaws and vices. It is in order to understand how to gain self-confidence and develop it that we wrote this article, since confidence and self-esteem are closely intertwined.

How to become self-confident? How to develop confidence?

It has long been known that ideal people simply do not exist. We all have flaws. But a self-confident person differs from a constantly vacillating, indecisive and insecure person in that he notices not only his own shortcomings, but also remembers the merits, which every person probably also has. In addition, a self-confident person is undoubtedly able to present himself favorably in society.

If you do not love yourself, who else will take on such a responsibility? How can other people love you? There is an interesting psychological phenomenon - consciously and subconsciously people always strive for contacts and communication with self-confident persons. It is these people who are most often preferred as business partners, friends, and life partners.

If you tend to doubt yourself and blame yourself for every little thing, you yourself automatically program yourself for further failures, failures and make the decision-making process even more difficult.

Learn to finally notice your virtues, remember your achievements Don't hesitate to praise yourself once again. Forgive yourself for small failures and troubles, love and respect yourself - and soon you will notice how the attitude of others around you will change.

Self-esteem and self-confidence are very important characteristics when applying for a job. Therefore, we also recommend reading the article - when applying for a job "

"Symptoms" of low self-esteem

A person with low self-esteem often exhibits symptoms such as:

• excessive self-criticism, constant dissatisfaction with oneself;
• excessive susceptibility to criticism of other people, strong dependence on the judgments and opinions of others;
• an irresistible desire to please people, to always be something useful;
• a pronounced fear of making a mistake, slowness and a tendency to endless doubts when making a significant decision;
• inexplicable jealousy, irresistible envy of the success of others;
• hidden hostility to others;
• the mood for a permanent defensive position, the need to explain and justify the decisions made and the actions taken all the time;
• pessimism, negativism, a tendency to see oneself and everything around in gloomy tones;

A person with low self-esteem often perceives temporary difficulties and minor life failures as permanent, and makes appropriate negative and, remarkably, wrong conclusions regarding existing potential and future opportunities.

The worse we perceive ourselves, the less we respect ourselves, the more negative the attitude of the people around us towards us. And this will inevitably lead to alienation, detachment and isolation, and consequently - a tendency to depression and many other psycho-emotional disorders.

3. Self-confidence and high self-esteem is an essential factor in achieving success in life!

Some people consider selfishness to be a sin, or at least something negative that is best avoided.

But in reality, a person's lack of self-love and lack of self-respect is precisely the source of countless complexes and many internal conflicts.

If a person has a low opinion of himself, the people around him will never have a different point of view about him. And vice versa - people with sufficient self-esteem are usually highly valued by others: their opinion is always authoritative and weighty, their interests are taken into account, they are sought to cooperate, make acquaintances, build friendships or start a family.

Thus, having learned to respect ourselves, we will certainly gain the respect of others, and, in addition, we will learn to be sober about the opinions of others about us.

Signs of “healthy” (high) self-esteem

People with good self-esteem have the following positive characteristics:

• Accept, love and respect their appearance as it is. And if they look for any shortcomings, they sensibly strive to overcome them;
• They do not question their strength, they are aimed at success and future victories;
• They are not afraid to take risks, make bold decisions, are more prone to active actions than to reflection, are not afraid to make mistakes and draw appropriate conclusions, learn from them;
• Cold-bloodedly perceive the criticism of others, calmly treat compliments;
• They know how to communicate with people with high quality, are always interested in their opinion and are not afraid to express their own, do not experience shyness, insecurity and embarrassment when communicating with previously unfamiliar people;
• With due respect for the opinions of other people, but always have and, if necessary, can defend and defend their own point of view;
• Take care of the health of their body and maintain a positive emotional well-being;
• Strive for self-development, continuous self-improvement, constant acquisition of new impressions, knowledge, experience;
• They are not inclined to concentrate their attention and dwell on the negative for a long time in case of any failure or failure.

Strong self-confidence and sufficient self-respect- the same indispensable factors for achieving success in life and human happiness, as water and the sun for the growth of plants. Without them, the progress of the individual is impossible. After all, low self-esteem completely deprives a person of any prospect and even the slightest hope for the future. positive changes .

4. Factors of low self-esteem - 5 main reasons

We know an immense number of factors that directly or indirectly affect the formation of our sense of self. A small role is given to genetic characteristics and hereditary predisposition, but environmental factors still have a decisive influence to a much greater extent.

Let's analyze the five most common reasons for a person to develop low self-esteem.

Reason #1. Family upbringing mistakes

As you know, each of us comes from childhood. And, oddly enough, many of our complexes and negative blocks of our consciousness also come from there. From the upbringing of a child in childhood, his future life directly depends. After all, it is in childhood that parents form those “rules” by which a person will live in the future, those “filters” through which he will evaluate what is happening around.

Therefore, the way you raise your child today - a direct mirror image of what kind of person you will get tomorrow. Believe me, the best, most important and valuable thing that a mother and father can do for the good of their children is to teach them to love themselves, to develop in them the proper level of self-respect.

Self-esteem of the future personality begins its formation in early childhood. At an early age, a child cannot yet objectively evaluate the results of his actions and actions on his own; therefore, the main source for the formation of his opinion about himself is the immediate environment, i.e. most often parents.

For a small child, parents are his whole world. If the parents are kind enough to him, his subconscious will form the installation " good world”, - a small person will be positively tuned.

If parents in childhood never encourage their children, but on the contrary, scold, constantly reproach and punish, the child simply will not have any foundation for developing self-love - the soil on which confidence in his abilities could form will be destroyed. We in no way call for connivance, but if you wish the best for your children, learn to notice not only their mistakes, but also their achievements. And be sure to pay them not only your attention, but also the attention of the child. If the baby constantly hears from you: “you are clumsy, awkward, stupid, etc. - this will certainly be deposited in his children's subconscious, and will leave its negative imprint on the development of the future personality.

Under no circumstances should you constantly compare and contrast your child with other children. Every person without exception it's individuality . Comparing a child with someone, we infringe him as a person from childhood, we contribute to the development of an inferiority complex in him.

If a child hears too many prohibitions in childhood, endless " No" and " it is forbidden”, - he is already potentially doomed to an unsuccessful life, low income, few friends in the future.

To a sharp decrease in self-esteem and a breakdown in confidence in one's own abilities, words and deeds, the endless criticism of parents of any initiatives, first undertakings and actions affects. Any positive initiative in childhood should certainly be encouraged! After all, even years later, being an adult for a long time, a person who was often criticized in childhood subconsciously still continues to be afraid of the same criticism, condemnation of others, and mistakes. Parents, as well as teachers, caregivers, coaches, must know how to raise self-esteem and self-esteem for a child who suffers from indecision, doubts and uncertainty .

Best Method- praise, unobtrusive encouragement. Sometimes it is enough to praise the child several times from the heart for a correctly completed homework, a beautifully drawn drawing, a verse recited with an expression, and his self-esteem will certainly increase.

Do not forget that the center of the world for a child is his family. It is you who are the authors of the foundation of the core of the future personality. Passivity, lack of initiative, apathy, indecision, uncertainty and many other negative traits are a direct reflection of family, primarily parental, suggestions, attitudes, and incorrect models of education. As a rule, self-esteem is higher among the only children in families and among the first-born. For others, the “little brother complex” is common, which occurs when parents endlessly resort to comparing a younger child with an older one.

According to many psychologists , a family that is impeccable for laying good self-esteem - one where the mother is always calm, balanced and in a good mood, and the father is moderately demanding, fair and has undeniable authority.

Reason number 2. Frequent failures in childhood

It is not unknown that our life is changeable and multifaceted, in it success alternates with bad luck, white stripes with black ones, victories with defeats. At some point, absolutely everyone will face life challenges. turmoil, malfunctions, banal failure.

No one is immune from all this, besides, it contributes to the emergence of life experience, the development of willpower, the formation of character. But undoubtedly important is our own attitude to the experienced misfortunes. And they can injure the child especially strongly, since the strength of character in him has not yet been finally formed.

Any experienced negative event can affect the vulnerable psyche of the child in the form of a lifelong guilt complex and a decline in self-esteem.

For example Sometimes children reproach themselves for the divorce of their parents or their endless quarrels, and then the children's guilt is modified into continuous doubts and inability to make a decision.

In childhood, entirely and completely harmless, from the position of an adult, events often acquire universal proportions.

For example, having won a silver rather than a gold medal in sports, an adult athlete will take a break and continue training even more stubbornly, and a child may break down, get psychological trauma and complexes for the rest of his life, especially if parents and trainer do not show a proper understanding of the situation.

What fuels low self-esteem in childhood? Failures and mistakes, ridicule of classmates, reckless remarks of adults, especially parents, criticism of teachers. As a result, a teenager has the wrong idea that he is bad, unlucky, inferior, unlucky, doomed to negativity in advance, and an erroneous feeling of guilt arises for his thoughts, decisions, actions.

Reason number 3. Lack of clear life goals and passions

If you do not have clear goals that you would like to achieve, positive aspirations, and do not even try to change something for the better, do not make any volitional efforts, then your life will continue to be boring and bleak, gray and monotonous.

Often, people who underestimate themselves live “according to the pattern”, half-heartedly “on autopilot”. They have long been accustomed to gray tones, an inconspicuous "mouse" lifestyle, a complete lack of fresh impressions and picturesque colors - and there is absolutely no desire to get out of an established quagmire. Over time, these lethargic people stop even properly looking after their appearance, resign themselves to a small income, stop dreaming and craving for something more. Of course, self-esteem in this case is not only low, but completely absent.

Growing up, a person becomes passive and apathetic, and then he shifts all the problems and troubles to his wife (husband) when he starts a family.

There is only one conclusion: for such a person there is simply a burning need - to increase self-esteem. Otherwise, his life will continue to be painted exclusively in gloomy tones, until he himself makes tremendous efforts to change his life and, most importantly, himself.

Reason number 4. Negative social environment

Science has proven the existence of mirror neurons - unusual brain cells that tend to become activated not only during the performance of a specific action, but also when observing the performance of this action by others. Thus, gradually we become to some extent similar to those who make up our inner circle.

If there are people around you without certain aspirations and specific life goals, who are in a stable spiritual suspended animation, where will you get the craving for internal modifications.

High self-esteem and healthy ambitions are possible only where there are role models. If people around you boring, passive, lack of initiative, got used to the gray and inconspicuous life "in the shadows", then it is quite likely that such an existence will absolutely suit you.

If you notice that everyone around you endlessly complains about life, constantly gossip, condemn others or slander, you need to try cross off these people from the inner circle by all available means. After all, in fact, they can be an obstacle to improving your creative potential and achieving your success.

Reason number 5. Health problems and flaws in appearance

Low self-esteem is often characteristic of children and adolescents with defects in appearance or congenital diseases.

Even if parents behave correctly, carefully and tactfully in relation to a child who has health problems, then peers will probably still leave a negative mark on his sense of self.

Common situation- overweight children, who are often made fun of in the children's team, give them various nicknames, often offensive. In this case, catastrophically low self-esteem cannot be avoided if the necessary measures are not taken in a timely manner.

Of course, it is worth trying, if possible, to eliminate the existing imperfections. If this is not realistic, try to develop in a person other necessary qualities that would help him become more resilient, strong, charismatic, funny, capable and self-confident.

The world knows a lot of examples where people with irreparable physical disabilities and incurable diseases have achieved tremendous success, universal recognition, got good families and live the happiest life that many have not seen even in their dreams. (To list a few of them: Carrie Brown, Nick Vujicic, Jessica Long, etc.)

5. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 ways to increase self-esteem

Let's learn to raise self-esteem, develop self-confidence and start loving ourselves! Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to awaken faith in one's own strengths, but now let's dwell on seven of them, in our opinion, quite reliable and effective.

Method number 1. Change the environment and try to communicate more with successful people

If you drastically change your social circle and start contacting purposeful, successful, self-confident people, your life is guaranteed to change for the better very quickly.

Little by little you will regain your sense of self. dignity, self-respect, determination, courage, self-love, i.e. all those personal qualities, without which it is impossible achieving success in life .

Associating with prosperous and successful people, you will begin to appreciate your own individuality, you will become more careful in using your personal time, you will certainly find a life purpose, and you will certainly achieve success on your own.

Method number 2. Attending special trainings, seminars and other events

In any city, various events, specialized trainings and seminars are held for everyone, where psychologists help people become more self-confident and raise self-esteem.

Good specialists with experience in such work in the shortest possible time will be able to turn a timid, clumsy, indecisive person into a strong, strong-willed, self-satisfied and purposeful person. The main thing- have a sincere desire and tune in to the upcoming positive changes.

If you still do not want to resort to outside help, but are determined to deal with the problem on your own, you should read the following literature:

• Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
• Andelin Helen "The Charm of the Feminine"
• etc. (there is a lot of similar literature on the Internet)

Method number 3. Don't be afraid to take unusual actions

It is human nature to run away from problems and hide in the zone of habitual own comfort. This is quite understandable. It is much easier in difficult situations to calm yourself by eating a mountain of sweets, a lot of alcohol, or just sit at home in an armchair and feel sorry for yourself, savoring your own impotence. It is many times more difficult to adequately accept the challenge and accomplish something absolutely not characteristic of you before.

At first it will seem to you that outside the comfort zone is an unusual, hostile, alien and unfriendly world, but then you will understand that real life, full of bright colors , unforgettable adventures and positive emotions, is located just where you have not been yet.

The constant presence in familiar conditions resembles life in a kind of invisible cage, from which you are afraid to leave only because you are used to it and do not know what awaits you outside it.

When you manage to leave "comfort zone" and at the same time remain calm, collected and balanced, you will receive a strong incentive to increase self-esteem and create a new, more attractive image.

No one is asking you to start with global change. For starters, for example, instead of returning from work to watch a long boring boring series, visit the gym or visit old friends.

Set a goal- to learn an unfamiliar language in six months or to meet a pretty girl this evening. Don't be afraid of mistakes! If for the first time everything doesn’t turn out smoothly and perfectly, you are guaranteed a lot of new impressions and an increase in self-esteem.

Method number 4. Let go of too much self-criticism

Stop finally engaging in self-flagellation, focusing on the negative, blaming yourself for mistakes made inadvertently, not an ideal appearance, another failure in your personal life. You will immediately feel much better!

You will not waste a lot of energy on self-criticism, and you will certainly find time and energy for other, more creative, necessary and worthy tasks.

Remember: whatever you are, you are the only unsurpassed, inimitable and unique person on this vast planet. Why endlessly compare yourself to others? Try to focus better on achieving the necessary goals, reconsider your potential and your personal idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhappiness.

Open your eyes to the positive qualities of your personality. Find your strengths and constantly work to improve them.

Finally, from any failures of the past, experienced disappointments and mistakes once made, one can withdraw an invaluable benefit, the name of which is worldly wisdom and life experience.

Method number 5. Sports and healthy lifestyle

It is known that one of the simplest and most effective methods to increase self-esteem is to actively engage in sports, dance, physical education or other activities focused on improving health and self-esteem. It is no secret that a healthy body has always been known as a receptacle for a healthy spirit and pure thoughts.

Going in for sports, a person begins to perceive his appearance less critically and automatically respect himself more. Moreover, improving self-esteem does not at all depend on the results of training: even if the changes are minimal, the activity itself, the process of training, is important.

The more energetic your workouts, the more you will begin to appreciate yourself. The presented phenomenon has an explanation from the point of view of biochemistry: during intensive sports, special substances are produced in the human body - dopamines- so-called. happy hormones.

Method number 6. Regular listening to affirmations

affirmation - this is a short verbal formula, which, with frequent repetition, forms a positive attitude in the human subconscious.

It is this attitude that further leads to the transformation of character traits and personality traits for the better. Now affirmations are considered by psychologists as one of the most effective ways of reprogramming a person's consciousness.

These verbal formulas are always voiced as a fact that has already come true, which makes a person perceive them as something inevitable, something that will inevitably happen in any case.

If our own subconscious considers us strong, successful, and purposeful, then little by little we really will definitely become such.

Main condition when using the linguistic miracle formula - strict regularity.

Method number 7. Keep a diary of personal successes and achievements

Sometimes a diary of your own victories and achievements you have created can help raise your self-esteem. This method is especially popular among women.

Be sure to get such a diary and enter data on everything that you have achieved for day, week, month. This is truly a powerful tool that will make you believe in yourself and boost your self-esteem.

Let every day his records be replenished with information about your victories, even very insignificant ones! And don't forget to read it regularly.

Use these methods regularly and then your self-esteem will be quite normal, your life will begin to improve, material problems will move to another level. By the way, do not forget to read: "", because without these recommendations it is impossible to gain financial independence.

6. Fight against dependence on public opinion

If you attach too much importance to the opinions of others, you are potentially dooming yourself to failure.

Of course, really kind, objective and constructive criticism, pointing out your specific mistakes and getting from reliable people who can actually be trusted, is very helpful and will help you develop and constantly improve. But excessive dependence on other people's views - this is a huge mistake.

Value your own opinion, have your own point of view, do only what you think is necessary, and not someone else. Do not attach colossal importance to other people's words! No one but you knows your true desires, goals, needs and cannot judge what is good for you and what is not. If you want to do something new and different, the question “what will people say to this” should never stop you.

Don't be afraid to pursue your dream and don't dwell on the consequences.

7. How to learn to manage your self-esteem and find yourself - 5 useful tips

Here are five important tips to help you manage your self-esteem:

1. Don't compare yourself to other people It's completely useless and stupid. It makes sense to compare only “myself in the past” and “myself now”, and in this case, you need to focus only on positive changes;
2. Don't criticize yourself tirelessly, better remind yourself of a list of your positive qualities, achievements and victories (even the tiniest ones);
3. Hang out with fun, positive people;
4. Do more of what you enjoy;
5. Think less! Do more!

Never forget that you are a most interesting outstanding person with a grandiose potential of unlimited possibilities. And only the development of good self-esteem is a reliable way to bring out your many abilities and talents to the fullest.

8. Self-esteem test - determine your level of attitude towards yourself

Answer the questions "yes" or "no" and then count the number of positive and negative answers.

1. *Do you often berate yourself for past mistakes?
2. * Do you like to gossip with friends, discuss your mutual acquaintances?
3. * Do you have any goals and clear plans for your future life?
4. * Are you into sports?
5. * Do you often worry and worry about trifles?
6. *When you're in a new company, don't you like to be "in the spotlight"?
7. *When meeting a person of the opposite sex, do you find it difficult to maintain a conversation?
8. *Does someone else's criticism upset you?
9. * Do you tend to envy the success of others?
10. * Are you easily hurt, offended by a careless word?

So, if you have:
From 1st to 3rd affirmative answers, - our congratulations, you have good , "healthy" self-esteem.
More than 3"yes" answers: your self-esteem underestimated. Work on it for sure.

9. Conclusion

Now you know that believing in your strengths, not being afraid to take risks, not attaching importance to criticism of the environment and soberly assessing your own talents is entirely possible and not at all difficult. The main thing- a sincere, genuine desire to change and a willingness to work on oneself.

You can believe in anything, hope for a miracle, God's help, good luck or a happy accident, but never forget that the most important thing is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!

Realizing this, you, without any exaggeration, can radically change your whole life.

A self-confident person delights, inspires, and also inspires confidence in others. He is able to face his fears and is not afraid to take risks.

He knows that regardless of the scale of the obstacles that arise in his way, there will certainly be an opportunity to overcome them.

Confident people tend to see life in a favorable light, even when things go horribly wrong. At such moments, they continue to remain positively charged and have respect for themselves.

On the other hand, people with low self-esteem and lack of confidence perceive the world as a hostile place and themselves as a victim.

As a result, being in the role of passive observers, they are reluctant to show their abilities and do not open up from the best side, as a result of which they miss the opening opportunities and drive themselves into a state of their own impotence to change the situation.

All this further reduces their self-esteem and self-confidence, dragging them into an enchanted downward spiral.

Confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing, although they are closely related.

Self confidence is a concept that is used to characterize your attitude towards your ability to perform various functions, tasks and roles.

Confident behavior is not about not making mistakes, because they are inevitable, especially if you are doing something new.

Confidence is manifested in self-control and the commission of purposeful meaningful actions when various kinds of errors occur, allowing you to solve problems and.

Lack of confidence can be the result of many factors:

1. Fear of the unknown.
2. Criticism.
3. dissatisfaction with their appearance.
4. Unpreparedness for the situation.
5. Lack of required skills.
6. Previous failures.

Self-confidence, like self-esteem, is not a static concept, and therefore its level can both rise and fall. We may feel more confident at some points in our lives than at others.

The level of confidence can manifest itself in many ways: through your behavior, your body language, what and how you say, etc.

Self-esteem- this is your attitude to yourself, to your personality, to how you look, what you think, as well as to your own beliefs and achievements. This is the final result of the quality of your life at a particular moment in time, which your body gives out in the form of an appropriate emotion.

People with low self-esteem are also the most likely to suffer from a lack of confidence, but some people with good self-esteem may similarly lack confidence.

The reverse situation is also quite likely, when a person with low self-esteem can be very confident in some areas.

Possible reasons for low self-esteem:

1. Disdainful attitude and negative environment.
2. Childhood experiences and lack of parental care.
3. Bad habits.
4. Job loss or difficulty finding employment.
5. Constant stress.
6. Physical ailment.
7. , divorce.
8. Physical or sexual abuse.
9. mental problems, .

Signs of confidence and insecurity

Signs of high self-esteem and self-confidence:

• A confident person does what he thinks is right, even if others criticize him for it.
• Willing to take risks and put in the extra effort to achieve better results.
• He is able to admit his mistakes, thanks to which he improves.
• Does not try to spread his achievements to everyone in a row, thus not trying to attract praise.
• Less tendency to be jealous and control the other person.
• No fear of being vulnerable.
• The ability to set personal boundaries.
• The ability to get rid of the superfluous: unnecessary situations, people, work.
• Responsibility for your actions and emotions.

Signs of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence:

• The behavior of an insecure person depends on the opinions of the people around him.
• He is used to staying in his comfort zone, fearing failure and avoiding risk.
• Always tries to hide his mistakes and hopes he can fix the problem before anyone else finds out.
• Communicates his merits and merits as often as possible and to as many people as possible.
• Absence .
• Awareness of being unnecessary or not good enough.
• Inability to make decisions.
• He doesn't like anyone.
• Taking on someone else's fault.
• Failure to recognize your strengths.
• He considers himself undeserving of happiness.

Why is it important to build self-esteem and self-confidence?

With sufficient self-confidence and healthy self-esteem, you will feel great about having a perfect understanding of your ability to do what you want to do to improve the quality of your own life.

You will make decisions more easily, guided only by your inner choice. You will be able to try everything that you previously avoided, and stop letting fear control your destiny.

More Success

Self-confidence and high self-esteem are one of the most important keys to career success and.

You'll be less likely to get stuck on a dead end job because you'll be clear on your value by being able to find a better deal elsewhere.

When it comes to business, only enough self-esteem and self-confidence will allow you to move forward when others give up the fight or twist their fingers to their heads.

Stronger Relationships

It is very difficult to have a harmonious relationship when you constantly feel inferior. You will end up tending to rely too heavily on your partner, who you find more confident.

Once you develop self-confidence and self-esteem, you will be able to be a direct participant in the process of developing relationships without living as an extra, and also fully reveal your personality, investing in relationships and receiving in return for the most part positive emotions.

Life gets easier

When you love and respect yourself, and treat yourself with understanding, everything becomes much easier.

You stop making an elephant out of a fly. Any problem for you is just another task that needs to be solved, or a situation that is not worth your attention.

You stop beating yourself up for your mistakes and trying to live up to any standards.

Improving Mental Health

A negative attitude towards yourself and your abilities poisons your thinking, as a result of which you become prone to anxiety and a tendency to depressive states.

Looking at yourself as a wonderful person will surely give you a positive charge, and will also become a source of a flexible and stable psyche.

More internal stability

When you deeply and sincerely love yourself, when you have a high opinion of yourself, there is no need to seek attention and external confirmation of your worth from other people.

As a result, you cease to be needy, and your inner vision of yourself becomes independent of what the people around you may think or say about you.

Exclusion of internal sabotage

Most people's worst enemy is themselves.

Confidence and high self-esteem will allow you to treat yourself as more worthy of good things, achievements and environment.

You will strive to get everything indicated with much more motivation. And becoming their owner, you will not create obstacles for yourself that can destroy what you have.

More happiness

It is difficult to be happy when self-esteem and self-confidence are at zero. In this case, you will feel sad, incapable of anything and in a hopeless situation, unworthy of love and respect, and also not deserving of a wonderful life.

Once you become confident and able to increase your self-esteem, you will make the necessary changes to find your way out of the labyrinth of past failures by opening the door to the happiness room.

Other benefits:

1. Ability to function more effectively under stress.
2. Developing the ability to influence and persuade others.
3. Development and executive skills.
4. Positive thinking.
5. Increasing attractiveness.
6. Reducing the flow of negative thoughts.
7. More courage and less anxiety.
8. Increased energy and motivation.

How to become self-confident. Basics

In 1952, the journal "Educational Leadership" published an article "Self-Confidence for Competence" by author Bernice Milburn Moore.

Moore describes confidence as a belief in oneself that helps to overcome life events.

He believes that you become more confident if you start to be better at what you do.

Self-confidence without competence is as useless as competence without self-confidence.
Bernice Milburn Moore

This idea can be represented as a system:

1. Improving skills.
2. Putting them into practice.
3. Evaluation of results.
4. Growth in self-confidence.
5. Repetition.

What skills should you develop? It all depends on your goals that you are pursuing at the moment.

However, there are some universal skills that every person should improve:

• Discipline.
  Stop listening to the whiner in your head. Don't listen when he says, "You'll make your bed later," "Sleep for another hour," "You're going to the gym next week."
• Communication.
  Effective communication is an art on which your ability to interact with your environment depends. Therefore, if you think that you are a professional in this field, never before thinking about how you should build communication with people, you are deeply mistaken.
• Negotiation.
  You are negotiating all the time. With my own, with children, parents, teachers, friends, colleagues and many others. So learn to work out the best offer for all parties.
• Solution of problems.
  The modern education system, based on getting grades and the concepts of “good” and “bad”, turns young people into cogs that are necessary for the social mechanism. As a result, most people are so accustomed to doing tasks for others that they themselves are not prepared to solve problems in difficult situations. However, the world is changing, and the winner is the one who is better at overcoming completely different problems.
  
• Health and appearance.
  Feeling good, as well as being attractive, is a great way to invest your time and attention. Being in good physical shape and having an attractive appearance, you will definitely be able to increase self-esteem and become more self-confident.

How to become confident and increase self-esteem

1. Know yourself

Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a thousand battles without defeat.
Sun Tzu

Before the start of the battle, a wise commander tries to get to know his enemy as best as possible. And when you're trying to boost your self-esteem and become confident, your worst enemy is standing in your way - yourself.

To get to know yourself better, listen to your thoughts, analyze why they have negative connotations.

Then reflect on the strengths of your personality, your abilities, what you like.

Make two lists, one of which will include your strengths, the second - your weaknesses.

Think about the factors that limit you. Determine if they are truly objective, or if they are just a game of your mind.

Remind yourself that despite your challenges, you are unique, special, and valuable and deserve the very best.

After all, you are a miracle of consciousness, the consciousness of the universe. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts about yourself, such as "I'm a failure" or "Nobody loves me."

It doesn't matter how you feel about yourself right now. What matters is what you want to become. So look as deep as you can into yourself and you will become more confident.

2. Positive thinking

Every human mind loves to whisper, “This is too complicated. Stop and go watch TV.”

Instead of indulging such thoughts, treat them as erroneous phenomena, carefully identifying each of them.

When you catch such a thought, destroy it by replacing it with a positive belief with the opposite meaning: “Keep going, you can do it. There is very little left.”

3. Positive action

You are what you do. So if you change your actions, you can change yourself.

Act in a positive way, talk to people in a positive manner, use your energy, and soon you will notice a difference.

4. Focus on your strengths

If you continue to focus on your shortcomings, sooner or later you will lose much of your self-confidence.

Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths.

Maybe you could be an amazing public speaker, a great cook, or a great businessman.

Take a look at the various areas of your life and perhaps you will see in yourself a person of great value.

5. Body language

Confident people have a different way of non-verbal communication.

They walk with their back straight, keep their heads straight, look into the eyes of others and do not suffer from the presence of unnecessary movements.

Therefore, to increase self-esteem and become self-confident, adopt the body language of confident people.

6. Leisurely speech

It is a fact. Confident people tend to speak slowly.

A person who thinks that they will not want to listen to him will speak quickly, because he considers himself and his speech unworthy of waiting.

Try talking more slowly than usual, which will make you feel more confident.

7. Speak loudly enough

Shy people tend to speak softly or mumble because they don't want to draw attention to themselves.

Confident people are not afraid to be the center of attention, and try to convey information to all listeners with maximum efficiency, so they speak loudly enough, clearly and clearly.

8. Smile

Banality? But it works.

You will feel a surge of confidence when you start smiling at other people. Great investment of your time and energy.

9. Get in the front row

When you attend major events, do you rush to get a front row seat, or are you more likely to proceed to the last seats?

Many people are accustomed to hiding behind the backs of others, so as not to risk being invited to the stage or being in the role of answering a question.

But think about it, who usually sits in the front row at all official meetings of any company? Who takes first place in fashion shows? Of course the most important people.

Once in the front row, you put yourself on the same level with important people. You are signaling to others that you are one of the most important guests and can demand to be treated accordingly. You will also notice that you will start acting like a VIP invitee.

You put yourself in the spotlight by stepping out of your comfort zone, so you have no choice but to become self-confident.

10. Improve your skills

This has already been said before, but it is worth adding that you should start with small steps.

If you want to become a professional writer, for example, don't try to figure out all the ins and outs of the profession all at once. Just start writing and then write more.

11. Set a small goal and achieve it

People want to reach the stars by the end of the month, and when they fail, utter surprise appears on their faces.

Set an achievable goal, and then achieve it, as a result of which you will receive satisfaction. Then set and implement the next goal.

Soon you will prepare yourself to conquer higher peaks.

12. Change some minor habit

To begin with, take a swing not at such a large-scale one as quitting smoking, but something less significant. For example, waking up 10 minutes earlier or drinking a glass of water when you wake up.

Repeat fixing for a month. When the new habit becomes an integral part of your life, you will become more confident and your self-esteem will increase.

13. Focus on problem solving

If you are used to complaining about life, plunging into negative emotions and focusing on problems, just shift your focus.

Focus not on the problem, but on the solution. And this is one of the best ways to become confident and increase self-esteem.

"I'm fat and lazy." How do you solve it? “The thing is, I can't.” And how do you solve it? “But I have no energy.” So what's the solution?

14. Do something you've been putting off for a long time.

What lurks on your to-do list, deciding to hide there forever? Complete this task tomorrow and rid yourself of the memory of it.

You will feel lightness and satisfaction with the result.

15. Be active and try new things

Doing something is almost always better than doing nothing.

Of course, this something can lead to mistakes, but they are just a part of your life.

Only in this way can you learn something new and become a better version of yourself over time, so don't worry.

Just do something. Get out of your own boring life and click on your activity toggle switch, taking steps to achieve some goal.

16. Focus on the building blocks of a larger whole.

Trying to realize a serious project or a difficult task can seem overwhelming and intimidating, even for the most confident people.

Instead, learn to break complex tasks down into their component parts and implement each one in turn, one after the other.

Achievement will allow you to get a charge of positive emotions, and will bring you closer to the realization of all your plans.

Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you will become the benchmark of confidence.

17. Avoid perfectionism

If you strive for perfection, you risk disappointment. You can always get better, but it's impossible to be perfect.

Stop striving to make everything perfect. Accept the fact that nothing has to be perfect to be considered perfect. Therefore, you do not need to be perfect.

Show more tolerance for your own mistakes and shortcomings, because they do not detract from your talents and strengths of your personality.

18. Use criticism as a learning tool

Everyone looks at the world from their own point of view. What works for one person may not work for another.

Criticism is just someone else's opinion that you can use as feedback.

Treat criticism constructively, without reacting defensively to it or allowing it to affect your self-esteem.

Accept criticism calmly, and once you're satisfied with it, use it as a way to learn and improve.

19. Make your residence clean, comfortable and inviting

Even if you just clean the windows or water the plants, you will feel much better.

Also, clean up your desk. It may seem like something insignificant, but such a simple action can work wonders.

If your desktop begins to sink into confusion and the world around you plunges into chaos, tidying up your desk is a great way to take control of the situation.

As a result, you will feel calm in the center of the storm that has broken out around you.

20. Take care of your appearance

Personal hygiene, fashionable haircut, neat and stylish have always been and will always remain allies of high self-esteem and self-confidence.

21. Sound sleep and healthy eating

Make sure you get enough sleep to get enough sleep and try to eat foods that help your health flourish.

22. Exercise

A healthy body has high self-esteem and self-confidence. Train regularly, despite the possible “I don’t want to” or bad weather.

Physical activity improves mood, internal energy, performance, reduces depression and maintains your body weight at an optimal level.

23. Getting knowledge

By improving your awareness, you become not only intellectually developed, but also more self-confident.

If you are the owner of a higher education, there is no need to put an end to the baggage of your knowledge.

Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, you can find a lot of literature for every taste. Therefore, develop not only the body, but also the mind.

24. Prepare your best

If an important event is coming up in your life, take the time to carefully prepare for it. Once you have done everything you could to be as ready as possible, trust the result.

For example, if you have an important business meeting coming up, or you are applying, think about the possible questions you might be asked that you might want to voice. Only after the preparatory stage go to a meeting or interview.

Plan and manage life situations as much as possible. You will feel confident knowing that you have taken the preparatory steps.

25. Do what you like

Treat yourself to something that you love so much or so passionately desire to do.

Grab a cup of coffee, make yourself some, go skydiving, or sign up for a course that interests you.

Also, don't forget to celebrate your accomplishments, whatever they may be.

26. Develop a positive environment

It's important to build a network of family, friends, colleagues, and other confident people who support you and your efforts.

This does not mean that they will never give constructive feedback, but even this behavior will be based on a sincere desire for your success.

Tell your friends or relatives about your experiences, and ask them for advice and support. Perhaps they have similar problems.

Don't be too shy or reserved: most people close to you really want you well and want to help.

27. Meet other people

When you are at some event surrounded by a large number of people, do not be dependent on the presence of your acquaintances. Go and talk to strangers.

It's no secret that exceptionally self-confident people have the ability to establish acquaintances.

28. Get rid of harmful people, places and habits

Why would you waste your time, energy and emotions on people who will not appreciate it and will not offer anything in return, except for an unpleasant aftertaste resulting from joint communication.

And it's not that they have nothing to take. They simply will not be able to understand you, because they have a completely different level of development, as a rule, a lower one, to which they will try to lower you.

The same goes for the places you can visit, as well as your habits. If they do not contribute to your development, get rid of them like unnecessary trash.

Stop fighting what you don't like in your life. Just eliminate everything superfluous.

29. Stop comparing yourself to other people.

If you compare your appearance and personal qualities with others, the inevitable result will be a loss of self-confidence and a decrease in self-esteem.

Every day you come across the people around you, their photos on social networks and the various statuses of their hectic lives.

You may think that they are doing much better than you, and that they are simply better than you.

One way to boost your self-esteem and gain confidence is to stop comparing and spend less time on social media.

30. Stop trying to impress others.

Stop playing different roles and adjusting to the expectations of the people around you.

If you are able to bring sincerity into your life, you will be surprised how positively others will respond to you.

31. Learn to say “No”

Don't agree just because you don't want conflict or misunderstanding. You may well politely decline requests without even coming up with an excuse.

Saying “Yes” all the time will make you feel useful and needed, but in the end, you will burn yourself to the ground.

To keep your energy at an optimal level, be sure to refrain from wasting time and effort.

If you already have plans, then you have the right to refuse everyone else. You will not only save yourself from many problems, but you will also be able to earn respect.

32. Be grateful for who you are.

Many people complain about themselves, declaring a desire to have missing qualities or skills, while doing nothing to change for the better.

Instead, take the time to be grateful for who you are.

In fact, you have many wonderful qualities, and it is much more effective to focus on improving them.

33. Goodwill

It may sound trite, but being kind has a strong effect on your self-confidence.

If you are always selfish, angry and dissatisfied, you will find that your self-esteem does not rise, but falls.

It is important for you to be kind to others, because this way you will give yourself a boost of positive energy.

Generosity, kindness and compassion are the lot of strong people.

34. Assess your accomplishments

Confidence is dependent on internal awareness of the level of one's own success.

But if you are not seeing success in your life, your self-confidence is likely to be low. So how can you believe that you are successful?

No matter where you are right now, you have achieved much more than you think.

You tend to look to the future and constantly compare yourself to the best version you want to become.

You look into the future, where your ideal self has lots of money, a happy family, and a beautiful home. Then you evaluate your current self and feel overwhelmed.

But you rarely look back and forget to compare your current self to who you were a few years ago.

You very often forget how far you have come, how much is behind you, and what has already been achieved so far.

35. Don't Think You Can't Become Confident

There are already many things in your life that you do with natural confidence. You just need to notice them and understand what it's like to be confident.

Think back to brushing your teeth, walking in the park, or talking to a close friend. You do it all confidently and completely naturally.

Transfer the sense of confidence hidden in you to those areas where, as you think, it is lacking.