Sometimes people find it difficult to give the correct answer to simple everyday questions. So that you do not get into an awkward situation and do not harm yourself, we explain the nature of the phenomena that surround us every day. This time, let's talk about why people cry and when tears become a sign of illness.

Where do tears come from?

Tears are of two types - physiological (reflex) and emotional. If without emotional tears a person can somehow stretch the conscious part of his life, physiological ones are necessary for him to preserve his vision. They moisten and clean the surface of the eye, nourish the cornea and have a bactericidal effect. Lack of tear fluid leads to dry eye syndrome and reduced visual acuity. It can also be a sign of a number of diseases: hormonal and neurological disorders, rheumatoid arthritis, systemic lupus erythematosus, Wegener's granulomatosis, sarcoidosis, or tumors.

The lacrimal glands are located in the lacrimal fossa - a special depression in the frontal bone. Their secret is almost 99% water. Another 1.5% is sodium chloride (salt), albumin and other proteins, which, although few, play an outstanding role: retinol, for example, protects the cornea from viral and bacterial infections, while growth factors and endothelin-1 help it recover from injuries.

Normally, the lacrimal glands of a person produce from 0.5 to 1 ml of fluid per day. Through the excretory tubules, it enters the conjunctival sac and is transferred to the cornea when you blink; from there, the tears go into the lacrimal ducts, the lacrimal duct and the lower nasal passage, which is why we start to have a “runny nose” while crying.

Why do emotions make us cry?

No need to be ashamed of emotional tears: it is crying that makes us human. Other animals only need tear ducts to clear and protect their eyes, and humans are the only species that can cry for emotional reasons. And scientists aren't quite sure why yet.

One theory says that tears are a means of communication. Before learning to speak, babies cry to get attention. They begin with screams without tears, and learn to cry at 3-4 months. Evolutionary psychologists believe that babies' tears convey their need for parental care and are a distress signal. But what about adults who are able to solve their own problems?

The scientists suggest that in adults, crying may be an example of conspecific communication, a way of alerting members of our species without attracting the attention of predators. Because wolves and tigers don't typically roam the streets in the 21st century, tears can work as a "glue" for relationships and a non-verbal call to communication.

Tears are the "glue" for relationships and a non-verbal call to communication.

In 2000, social science professor Ed Wingerhuts (Tilburg University, The Netherlands) reviewed research on human tears extensively and found that adults prefer to cry either alone or next to one loved one. Reasons for tears were more often associated with rejection and breakups than with pain and injury. Many cried because they felt alone, depressed, or powerless. His conclusions slightly contradict the communication theory of crying, but support another, no less popular one.

Jay Efran, professor of psychology at Temple University (USA), that adults rarely cry at the peak of a stressful event, when they most need help. Instead, they give vent to emotions after the tension subsides. For example, a parent loses a child in a huge supermarket, spends several stressful minutes looking for him, and bursts into tears only after he finds the baby. Efran proposed a "two-stage theory of tears" in which crying is the body's response to the rapid emotional "shift" that occurs after the end of a stressful episode.

- At the beginning of life, crying indicates that the body is tense and overloaded. For the guardian, this is a signal that the child needs help. But in adults, tears do not so much signal a problem as they start the work of the rehabilitation and recovery system, says Efran.

What are the benefits of emotional tears?

In 2008, researchers from the University of South Florida (USA) that people feel better after crying - especially if others have provided them with emotional support. The participants in the experiment reported a sense of catharsis that followed the sobbing: their own fears and desires become clear, and the problems no longer seem intractable. Those who consciously tried to hold back their tears were less fortunate: they were less likely to experience catharsis.

After crying, one's own fears and desires become clear, and problems no longer seem insoluble.

Chemists analyzing the composition of emotional tears have found the reason for their healing power. Tears of this type contain several hormone proteins that carry information signals. For example, prolactin, which is responsible for the production of breast milk in women and reproductive health in both sexes, and the neurotransmitter leucine-enkephalin, a natural pain reliever that is released when the body is under stress.

When are tears not normal?

Tears become a problem when you can't stop them on your own. If you are in a normal emotional state, and increased lacrimation occurs involuntarily, make an appointment with an ophthalmologist. Increased secretion of lacrimal fluid may be a symptom of allergies, corneal injury, conjunctivitis, blepharitis, inflammation of the lacrimal gland, autoimmune diseases, hypo- and beriberi, sinusitis, rhinitis and other pathological conditions.

Psychological problems, a sign of which sometimes becomes tearfulness, are best addressed by a psychotherapist, endocrinologist and neuropathologist. It's okay to cry when you're sad, but if it happens too often, the risk of depression, hormonal disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety neurosis, chronic fatigue syndrome, asthenia, and other conditions that affect mood should be ruled out.

But if you are constantly crying, you are easily pissed off, then this may indicate that you are in a depressed state. Something worries you, but you have given up on yourself so much that you don’t know the reason for your condition, or you know, but try not to pay attention to it, pretend that the problem does not exist. And holding back tears won't help. You need to understand - what oppresses and worries you, what makes you cry all the time? Often tearfulness occurs against the background of emotional fatigue.

If you cry out of loneliness and self-pity, then these are destructive tears, they get you into even bigger problems. Such tears do not have a therapeutic effect, because the negative attitude you are in is more harmful. You need to pull yourself together and understand that you are, because it is beneficial for you. A person in general, if desired, is never lonely. And what kind of man needs a whiny, melancholic and touchy woman?

Sometimes we use female tears as a manipulation, trying to get something or influence the resolution of a conflict situation in our favor. A woman has no inner strength, no female support, and she includes the "little girl". If this technique is used infrequently, then there is nothing wrong with it. But this method should not be adopted. Men are very afraid of women's tears, and at first they will want to pity and reassure you. But if you start crying often, then his tears will simply irritate him.

You should not cry when a man offends you, behaves harshly with you. You have to have the feminine strength to handle it, but that doesn't mean you have to be on the defensive and argue or respond as aggressively, but you don't have to turn into a slob. Because such female tears in a man do not cause any pity and compassion. It's more of a backlash. He doesn't know what to do with you, how to bring you to your senses. Instead of tears, say directly and openly that it hurts you, it hurts when he behaves like this. When you are ready for a dialogue and ready to talk about your feelings without making a claim on a man, this indicates your maturity.

But if you do not know what to do and the conflict goes far, it is better to cry. Tears are better than any dish-breaking tantrum, threats and silence, but remember, everything has a limit.

And what to do when any touching and romantic little thing makes you cry? This is the letter I received:

Hello Tatiana. I think I'm TOO sentimental. Tears flow with or without. For example, today: I helped an old woman to cross the road. She thanked me with all her heart, I smiled at her with all my heart. It would seem so nice, but I walked and for several minutes just tried to stop the tears. Sometimes, I think, it comes to the point of absurdity. Solemn music, for example, in the circus. It seems fun, good, I came with the child to the circus, and with the beginning of the music, tears flow from me. I want to understand: is this JUST ordinary sentimentality, or is it still talking about some kind of internal problem that needs to be solved? Thank you so much for everything!

Sometimes women's tears are not ordinary sentimentality.

After all, you can just be touched, pleasantly excited, it is not necessary to cry. If tears flow, it means that you were touched and moved. Tears help to remove protection, a person becomes defenseless at this moment and the way he really is.

The question arises, why are you wearing protection? Who are you protecting yourself from?

This may indicate that you lack warm and close relationships. Most likely, you are closed internally, your heart is frozen, a little heat drowns it, and tears flow. What are you hiding from and what are you afraid of?

It can also indicate that you forbid yourself to feel, control yourself, treat yourself harshly, make excessive demands on yourself, drill yourself. You are on your guard, you do not trust, you close your heart to love, you are afraid of pain. After all, a closed heart is not capable of loving and deeply experiencing. A woman's heart must love. This is the only way a woman can be happy.

You are always holding back and forbidding yourself to feel, but solemn music sounds, and you sob. Tears just want to melt the ice in your heart.

The heart often closes after suffering pain, once upon a time you did not have the strength to cope with the pain. But by closing your heart from pain, you have closed it from love.

An adult woman has the psychic power to live through pain and transform it into love. This is the strength of a woman. This is detailed in. We are learning to be strong as a woman.

Pain also needs to be dealt with correctly, you can’t hide from it, you can’t ignore it, you need to live it, and then it will leave you alone. When you stop being afraid of pain, trust arises, the heart opens.

And also you need to pay attention to your needs and needs, to establish a connection with yourself. This connection is lost if emotions rule you, not you. More attention, more warmth, less claims and demands on yourself. Stop drilling yourself, saying “no” or “this is not for me” all the time. You need to warm yourself, then the heart will melt. When there is no inner warmth, it is very difficult for a woman to show feelings, it is difficult to love. But it is our nature to love.

Allow yourself to feel! When it's funny - laugh, when it's sad - cry, don't hold anything in yourself, open up. And let yourself be different!

In general, how often do you smile?

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Tatyana Dzutseva

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Tearfulness is an emotional state that a person faces throughout life. Consider the main causes and symptoms of tearfulness syndrome, methods of treatment and prevention.

Tears are a normal reaction of the body to various factors. The tear reflex manifests itself even in childhood, when a child expresses his feelings and emotions with the help of tears. That is, crying can be called a physiological reaction of the body to certain stimuli, causing a special facial expression. Tears, in turn, are an excellent emotional release that allows you to get rid of emotional pain.

Unlike crying, tearfulness is excessive tearfulness for any even the most insignificant reason. It can be a touching film, remarks from the boss or, on the contrary, praise, excessive attention from outsiders, and much more. But the most unpleasant thing is that it is not always possible to control the urge to tearfulness. If short-term tears cause a desire to console, then constant tearfulness causes fatigue and irritation in others.

If tearfulness occurs for unknown reasons, then this may indicate various disorders and diseases of the body. Due to regular tears, mental health suffers significantly, since crying is accompanied by aggression, bad mood, irritability and even drowsiness. In this case, examination and treatment, both medical and psychological, is required.

Tears have always been considered the prerogative of women. After all, the representatives of the weaker sex are more emotional than men, and they take many things too close to their hearts. But doctors and psychologists do not see anything wrong in the tears of men. Giving vent to tears, any person, whether a man or a woman, can get rid of negativity and get emotional release. Another thing is if you start to get upset and cry over trifles. Such outbursts of emotions can play against you.

In society, as a rule, they do not like whiny people. They are considered infantile and emotionally unbalanced. That is why excessive tearfulness can and should be fought. The main thing is to understand the reasons for its occurrence.

Why do people cry

Sometimes an unstable emotional state is a consequence of diseases thyroid gland. In this case, you need to be examined by a doctor and undergo a course of treatment. The main cause of tearfulness in women, for example, is an increased level of prolactin in the blood. This hormone is responsible for the production of breast milk and the release of tears. Too much of it can cause irritability and nervousness. To avoid this, it is necessary to be examined by an endocrinologist.

Some people are emotional by nature, their desire to cry for any reason does not depend on physical illness. It's just a personality trait. Such people can never change completely, since hypersensitivity is an innate property of their nervous system.

Another reason for tearfulness is the inability of a person to quickly adapt to sudden changes in his life. It doesn’t matter if these changes are bad or good - any change in the surrounding reality can cause such people stress and a desire to cry.

How to stop crying at the wrong time

If your tearfulness is psychological, not physiological, it will be much easier to deal with it. You just need to force yourself to switch attention and get distracted from the object that irritates you.

As soon as you feel tears welling up in your eyes, start breathing rapidly. At the same time, try to avoid deep breaths so as not to cause an attack of dizziness. Carry out this breathing practice until you relieve nervous tension. If there is drinking water nearby, take a few sips and think of something pleasant.

Before you burst into tears, imagine a cloud and study it carefully. Then imagine how it will fall on the earth as a blessed rain. Such a simple training is recommended by many psychologists. Its main task is to stabilize the emotional state of a person.

Sometimes tears are the result of emotional trauma. In this case, you should not restrain them. Throwing negative emotions out, you will protect your body from disease and premature aging.

Sources:

Modest, quiet and shy people often admire the qualities inherent in strong personalities - the ability to fight back, defend their interests, protect their loved ones. However, if you wish, you can also learn to behave in this way with offenders.

Instruction

Learn to be patient and detached. A fairly common mistake of weak people is that in a stressful situation they act on the basis of emotions, not reason. They may panic, cry or respond to the offender with rash aggression and eventually fail. Learn not to react so sharply to unpleasant events. A raised eyebrow, a bewildered look and eloquent silence in response to an insult from the interlocutor already looks better than tears or statements in the spirit of “he is like that.”

Knowledge is power. The wider your horizons, the more likely you are to be able to find the correct and reasonable answer to claims against you. You will never know in advance what may be useful to you during a dispute with an opponent. It could be technical documentation for your computer, or information about baboon mating rituals that you gleaned from a popular science movie.

Learn to say no. Many children (especially in this case) were taught to be polite, sweet, kind and reliable. Indeed, at home and at school with such a child there are much fewer problems. However, in adulthood, others may begin to shamelessly use these qualities, and out of habit you will fulfill their requirements, trying to please everyone. But if you are not eager to meet the son of a colleague at the airport or perform for your niece, you have the right to say “no” without explaining the reasons. And the more often you use your right, the better you will be able to do it.

Make sure that your opinion is heard. To begin with, it is worth starting to express it if you have not done this before, otherwise others will understand that you are dissatisfied with something, or something does not suit you. Get rid of the habit of adapting to everyone. If you feel uncomfortable meeting at a bar where your friends are offering to meet, say so. If that doesn't make a difference, then cancel the meeting. Next time, your interests will be taken more seriously.

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Tears are a defense mechanism. They help relieve stress. But frequent tears are a sign of depression or stress taking over. And in this case, they do not benefit, but only exacerbate the current state of affairs.

Why do women cry?

Uncontrolled female tears are due to the physiology of the body. The blood of women contains a high concentration of plolactin, the hormone responsible for the release of tears. In men, on the contrary, testosterone predominates in the body, which helps to suppress their formation, so tears seem to them something unnatural.

Under any circumstances, you first of all need to contact a psychologist who will help you get to the bottom of the problem, give practical advice for solving it and further eliminating it.

Don't be afraid to contact the experts. If there is a problem, then it needs to be dealt with. Do not miss any trifles in a conversation with a psychologist, even if they seem ridiculous and insignificant to you.

In everyday life, if you feel that the atmosphere is tense to the limit, a lump forms in your throat, and tears come to your eyes, try to abstract yourself from everything. Switch your attention to some imaginary object that gives you pleasure and makes you smile. Slowly, deeply inhale and exhale. This will calm your nerves. If a glass of water is at hand, then drink it slowly, in small sips.

It would be a good idea to drink a few drops of motherwort or valerian tincture in the morning during breakfast to avoid nervous situations and not shed tears.

How quickly you stop crying over trifles depends only on your willpower. If you set out to not look like a crybaby in public, you will quickly learn to control yourself.

Sources:

• how to stop crying

Nervousness haunts people in various situations. Some people come when they talk to some people, others are strained by tedious waiting, and others find it difficult to cope with critical situations. This behavior occurs for both psychological and physiological reasons. It's not easy to deal with him.

Instruction

Try not to dramatize the situation. Nervous people often think about the possible consequences of their unfortunate actions. For example, when going through an interview, a person is afraid that he may not be hired, this makes him nervous. If you find yourself nervous in these situations, try to calm down and act calmly. Most of the problems that you are extremely worried about, in fact, are not critical. The more importance you attach to certain things, the more nervous you become about them.

One of the most effective ways calm down and stop being nervous is a breathing exercise. Nervousness makes a person breathe very quickly and intermittently. Try diaphragmatic breathing, where most of the work is done by the belly. To do this, sit in a comfortable position and take even, slow breaths in and out. You can also hold your breath after inhaling for a couple of seconds. It is important that during breathing the maximum movement falls on your stomach, while the chest remains motionless. For self-control, you can put your hands on your stomach and watch how it rises and falls. Do this exercise for 5 to 10 minutes or longer.

Try to control your speech and behavior. Rapid speech, active gestures and a tense face are clear signs of nervousness. Try to look at yourself from the outside. If you are experiencing these symptoms, sit down and relax your back, be silent for a while, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Your task is to release tension from your body. Remember that external tension is always reflected on an emotional level, so try to keep your body calm in any situation.

A common cause of nervousness is haste. Trying to quickly solve problems without the necessary preparation rarely leads to positive results. In addition, haste in business increases absent-mindedness, a person begins to lose sight of important details and, as a result, makes mistakes that make him break down and show nervousness. Whatever situation you are in, remember that haste will not solve problems. Approach any business calmly and measuredly.

Many people themselves create situations that make them nervous. For example, if you constantly put off things that you will have to account for sooner or later, you will not be ready at the right time. Try to complete the work on time, prepare for events in advance, always have a plan of your actions.

Eyes in a wet place, or why am I crying from everything

March 26, 2016 - No comments

The inability to control your tears for any reason. This phenomenon occurs in our life, and often. These are such sensitive people - they love everyone, feel sorry for everyone. And cry, cry...

No, this is not hysteria. Just tears welling up in my eyes. Remember in the famous film "Prisoner of the Caucasus" the tears of the hero and "sorry for the bird"? Whatever they talk about - eyes are wet, voice trembles. Communication with people becomes difficult - it seems to be an adult, but just that, rivers of tears. Tearfulness becomes an obstacle to communication - it is impossible to say anything without tears.

What is it - a disease or a normal condition?

Going to psychologists, taking various sedatives, all kinds of affirmations - nothing helps. And if there is an improvement, it is minor and temporary. The tears come back and it's hard to hold back.

The reasons for this phenomenon are helped to understand by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan. Every person has certain innate qualities. Groups of mental properties and corresponding desires are called vectors.

It is people with a visual vector that are inherent in compassion, pity, cry, love, fear. They vividly perceive life through the manifestation of emotions. The emotional amplitude of a visual person is from “everything is lost” to “I love everyone”, from delight to sadness, from love to fear.

Visual love is the guarantor of kindness in the world. However, every phenomenon has its pros and cons.

Positive moment - "tears of love"

Spectators feel someone else's pain as their own. Never pass by the elderly who need help. A lonely wandering kitten or puppy will also not escape their gaze. It is they who feed the animals on the street and give alms to the poor.

“The world is not without good people” - this is what they say about people with a visual vector. They are very impressionable - tears well up from watching a movie, reading a book, where the main character evokes pity and compassion.

At the root of all emotions is fear.

The reason for all emotional states in the visual vector is the fear of death. This causes mental suffering and pushes a person to development. Thus, there is a transition from one state to another - the fear of death is transformed into love. In a state of love, the spectator directs all his emotions outward, to other people.

For example, spectators become doctors, psychologists, volunteers. So they, through compassion for other people, ease their pain. Empathy for others can be accompanied by sincere tears from an excess of feelings. The appearance of tears evens out the emotional state of both the spectator himself and the person who is sympathized with.

Negative moment - tears "feel sorry for yourself"

In the case when the visual vector is not realized, is under stress or does not have the skill of compassion, all emotions are directed inward. Concentration is only on yourself. In this case, instead of positive emotions from communicating with the world, the viewer is filled with negative experiences and fears.

Such people do not notice the suffering of others, they are indifferent to the pain of others. Tears in the eyes appear from self-pity. Or as an attempt to get the attention of others. For an unrealized spectator, tears can easily turn into hysteria.

You can understand the state of the visual vector at the training on System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Understanding innate properties and desires helps to better understand yourself and others. It also helps to realize one's spiritual potential for the joy of oneself and other people. Register for a free online training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.

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