Wherever a person is: at home, in a public place, at work, in transport, or even online on the Internet, he is inevitably at risk of facing provocations, an acute reaction to which not only stings a person, but also causes conflict situations. Provocations can have a wide variety of effects: to annoy, hurt “sore” points, anger, infuriate, make you suffer, etc. Is it possible to somehow protect yourself and your psyche from the harmful influence of provocateurs? Skilled communicators know these ways and easily parry any attacks in their direction. But are all of us communication professionals? Unfortunately no. And not everyone can and wants to become them for certain reasons. But be that as it may, the ability to repel communication attacks will always be a useful skill for absolutely any person. This skill will be discussed below.

To begin with, it is worth saying a few words about what a provocation is in general. provocation It is customary to consider any action, the purpose of which is to excite a certain reaction in another person. People who provoke others to these reactions are called provocateurs. And in most cases, provocateurs direct their “skills” to ensure that the one to whom their actions are directed loses self-control, control over their actions and emotions and, as a result, puts himself in front of the others or himself in an unfavorable light.

Sometimes even a not particularly sensitive person reflects on provocations, not to mention people who are more sensitive. But there are some very simple, but very effective ways to make sure that no provocation reaches its goal, and a person not only remains calm and unshakable, but also emerges from any sensitive situation as a winner.

So, first of all, you need to know: in order to become resistant to provocations of any kind, you need, firstly, to devote some time to working out your “weak points”, and secondly, to adhere to a special strategy in behavior. Both of these points are based mainly on the following five principles.

Understanding yourself

Almost everyone has their weak points. It is on the impact on them that provocative behavior is calculated, because. it "hooks" the person. Despite the fact that any interaction with provocateurs is destructive, it can be used to your advantage. Thanks to provocations, a person can get to know himself better, because. there is reason to think about why this or that behavior, words and actions of other people cause such a violent reaction. Often in this way it is possible to identify psychological and emotional. It is precisely the precise definition of one's most vulnerable spots that makes it possible to strengthen protection against provocations. In addition, it is worth adding that the development of such qualities as the ability to observe what is happening from the side, what is called, the ability to slow down one’s psyche in order to get out of a state of emotional involvement, as well as the ability to trust one’s feelings, positively affects the strengthening of stability.

Identification of provocation

First of all, you need to pay attention to your own feelings. The usual reaction to a provocation is bewilderment, misunderstanding, indignation. In order to prevent these sensations from taking over your own, you need to turn on your own and turn it to what is happening at the moment. This helps to understand your feelings, calm your thoughts, free yourself from the influence of the interlocutor and realize that perhaps his behavior is provocative.

In addition, you need to pay attention to the intensity of your emotions. If, when communicating with a person, such emotional states as confusion, resentment, indignation, etc. regularly arise, then most likely you are faced with a provocation. When interacting with another person, it is important to understand the direction of communication: if it is constructive and aimed at finding a compromise and understanding, then there is no place for provocations, but if over and over again you are forced to react sharply emotionally, then you are faced with a provocateur.

The study of the provocateur

If a provocateur is identified in the process of communication, then the next step is to determine its type. In general, provocateurs can be divided into several categories. These are amateur provocateurs, power-hungry provocateurs and strategists provocateurs.

For amateur provocateurs the main "activity" is the observation of the process. Moreover, observation at a distance. These people are often influenced by their own emotions, because. are unable to control them. If suddenly an amateur provocateur felt that, for example, the point of view of another person differs sharply from his position, then he will certainly express this by projecting his aggression onto the interlocutor. Although, the expression of his position can be expressed not only in aggressive attacks, but also in tears, ignoring, etc.

When confronted with such a person, the surest way is to remove yourself from the situation. It's like a pendulum: it swings to hurt you, and you entered into resonance with it, but if you fail this pendulum, i.e. if you don’t react to it in any way, then its vibrations will begin to fade and after a while it will stop.

power-hungry provocateurs have a slightly different approach. Their goal is to gain a sense of their power, significance, control over situations and people. If the person with whom they communicate begins to react violently to their behavior, then for them he will be the “best” interlocutor. With the help of provocations, power-hungry provocateurs reveal psychologically strong and weak people. When interacting with such people, it is very important to maintain a neutral position: keep the tone of the conversation even, refrain from rash reactions, etc.

BUT strategists provocateurs These are people who, through the manipulation of others, achieve their goals. They can talk behind their backs, weave intrigues, gossip and do other similar things. If you encounter such a person, then you need to try to determine what exactly is his goal, and also whether his tasks are consistent with yours. If you can be mutually useful to each other, then you can play along with such a person in his game, naturally, without taking his side and without becoming a provocateur-strategist yourself. If your goals do not agree, then it is best to keep a distance from this person and carefully monitor what is happening.

Assessment of the situation

When confronted with any situation of provocation, it is not necessary to pay much attention to thinking about why this person behaves this way, because it can be otherwise; why does he need it, I don’t understand, etc. By doing this, we lose the thread of events and begin to "dance to the tune" of the provocateur. And in no case should you do this. Instead, you need to think about what strategy of behavior is worth pursuing. And here there are three options.

First is to clarify the intentions of the provocateur by asking him direct questions about what he wants. For example, the question: "Do I understand correctly that you want to provoke me to ....?" etc.

Second is the expression of one's feelings through simple and calm expressions of one's emotions. For example, the phrase: “It somehow doesn’t make me very happy that we don’t understand each other,” etc.

Third- the use of metaphors that describe the difference in positions. For example, the statement: “Our communication is similar to the communication of people from different planets, because ....” etc.

In addition, if someone from your inner circle is a provocateur, then you need to try to determine what he is guided by, choosing a provocative line of behavior. In some cases, both people can act as provocateurs, when the provocations of one cause the provocations of the other, and so on. In such situations, one must certainly leave aside his "I" and go towards the other, consciously yielding.

Choice of reaction

Considering that the main task of the provocateur is to disturb the emotional balance of another person and cause sharp negative reactions, the surest way to act will be nothing more than maintaining calm and awareness. Thus, a person can not only remain unshakable, but also cause an emotional imbalance in a provocateur, not justifying his expectations.

In order to prevent yourself from "boiling" you can do a few simple steps:

• Remember that your reaction is only your choice.
• Count yourself to ten
• Take a few deep breaths and slow exhalations

Any of these methods can “slow down” the human psyche and calm his thoughts, as a result of which he will lose the desire to respond to a provocation, which, in turn, will neutralize the attacks of the provocateur.

It is the choice of reaction that is the key point in the issue of protection against provocations. But understanding oneself, identifying a provocation, studying the provocateur, assessing the situation and choosing a reaction - all this is based mainly on observing oneself, the people with whom we interact and the process of interaction itself. Only knowledge of one's strengths and weaknesses and the desire to stop being manipulated by other people can protect a person from provocations and the occurrence of unwanted and even extreme situations in communication.

Nobody likes to be controlled. It's just a terrible feeling. If you subscribe to this opinion, then you should definitely read everything that is written below.

Women are ideal provocateurs. It seems that it is in their genes somewhere. And they have a lot of interesting tools against men. They do not shy away from using them in any convenient situation. You need to be able to accurately recognize the moments when a girl is trying to manipulate or provoke you. And you also need to be able to resist this, not to go on about it. In this article I will tell you not only about, but also about how to deal with them.

A bit of theory

Psychological provocation is different from manipulation. This must be well remembered. Provocation in psychology is the actions of the interlocutor that force you to feel certain emotions, he wants to put you in the state he needs. Manipulation aims to get a person to do something.

A provocation is a kind of point-blank question that requires an immediate response. Any awkward question. The manipulator is somewhat more cunning, he controls the person. In both cases, the victim is left with a choice, but it does not appear to be free.

A certain response, reaction or action will be expected from you. And if you do not live up to expectations, you will be punished in some way. There are no limits to diversity here: from a slap in the face to a refusal to have sex or a break in all contacts.

Both provocation and manipulation are very effective and even terrible tools in capable hands. Women know how to do it, and you just need to be on your guard. How exactly do they do it?

Types of provocation and manipulation

Despite the different goals, manipulation and provocation are carried out by the same methods. Manipulation and provocation in a relationship are different. All of the following types are constantly combined. The woman wields them like a juggler. The most common:

1. on weakly;
2. flattery;
3. scandal;
4. temptation;
5. on a sense of guilt;
6. choose between;
7. uncomfortable questions;
8. misrepresentation;
9. the threat;
10. on assumptions.

Now more about everything.

Take on the weak

Probably the most common provocation in psychology which was known to everyone since childhood. Women rarely resort to its use, due to its great popularity and excessive obviousness.

Probably, they took you weakly, or you whom. Weak jump into the hole? And from the bridge to the river? How about meeting the girl's parents? This is where your “I’m a man, I can” wakes up in you, and you prove it. Yes, only a provocateur as a result simply achieves what he wants. Answer "I'm weak" and calm down.

Flattery

This is a more subtle and precise provocation and manipulation. You need to know a person, but just one thing is enough: to understand what success and in what area he wants to achieve. It remains to deliberately exaggerate his achievements and admire them. And since you are so brave, generous and good, you should correspond to the label hung on you, albeit a positive one.

It is not difficult to resist, you need to feel exactly what you are being praised for. If all this is not true, even pleasant, beware and wait for the next request, which will need to be denied. Well, depending on the situation, of course.

Dirty Conflict

A great way to draw attention to any problem, albeit frankly dirty. Occurs in women. Such a provocation in communication leads to the fact that you “do not love”, and “do not appreciate”, “and youth was spent on you”.

Get rid of the scandal. Don't support conflict, nip it in the bud. Over time, you will begin to feel that it is about to begin and you will be able to stop even the causes themselves, as a result, the weapon will lose its power.

Temptation

Simple deal: you to me, I to you. Only relationships inevitably turn into acts of sale. Oddly enough, this suits many, but this is a banal provocation. The object of filming is often sex or money.

It's not easy to fight here. You need to make a decision: either everything you do is free of charge and only at your will, or you buy certain goods. Based on your choice, you will decide how to proceed.

When they make you feel guilty

Feeling guilty is very easy. You were late at work or school and did not come on time. Everything, the girl was sad, accused, and you are in an uncomfortable position, you need to somehow rehabilitate yourself. So? You got caught.

If you yourself understand that you are not to blame for what happened, do not buy into it, leave her alone, she will understand that this does not work with you. But in the future, be prepared to change the method.

Difficult choice

Or me, or football; either me or the computer; either me or your mom. You are simply put before the fact. And it will be really difficult to choose. The weapon is dirty, but effective in many situations, for which women love it. Choose not her, and you will be happy, otherwise you will gradually turn into a slave of your own decisions.

uncomfortable questions

Most often, this is a manifestation of tactlessness, that is, it is also not the most pleasant method of provocation. This is a provocation to emotions, they expect a reaction from you, and immediately. For example, when was the last time you smoked? And even if you do not smoke, you have already been accused of having this habit.

It is difficult to deal with this method. You never know what question and when you will be asked, they will simply take you by surprise. In such cases, I deepen the topic of conversation or issue a counter question. “And you?”, “Why did you honor me with such a question?”. You caught on a provocation, and now the provocateur becomes a victim.

misleading

A very subtle method, but effective. For example, a girl cooks well, but she can’t boil eggs in front of you, roughly speaking, she’s too lazy. You see all this, take pots, pans, food in your hands and let's harp. Congratulations on your defeat.
The answer is simple - I don’t know how, I can’t, I understand other things. But be careful with this. If we are talking about replacing an outlet or carrying heavy things, it will look stupid, and it will not be a provocation, you need to feel the edge.

The threat

If you don't... then I... This is how it looks like. Humble provocation. If you do not wash the dishes, then I will be offended by you. The simplest thing that came to mind, and the most common. And there are many variations of phrases. They threaten you with something to force you to do something, that's all.

The answer here is quite simple: "If you do not stop setting conditions, then I will delete your number." The girl may leave after such words, but it’s better not to have business with such a person than to endure provocations to the end.

Assumption

A very subtle method, for true virtuosos. For example, a girl assumes that you drank in secret from her. She doesn't know for sure. He says the following: “I was told something here, answer me, with whom did you drink yesterday?”. Even if you are absolutely pure, you are in a very uncomfortable position. And if you already drank, you almost got caught already.

You risk betraying your entire story from beginning to end. Recognizing the situation is difficult, but possible. If there are suspicions, answer simply: “What bird is this singing to you? To tear out her tongue for lying.

Training provocation

These are not all methods, there are almost countless of them, but all are somewhat similar. If you want to delve deeper into the topic or learn how to subtly and masterfully provoke and manipulate girls, like they do us, sign up for

Everyone has been provoked at some point. Don't you know the mixed feeling of rage, annoyance and powerlessness when you suddenly find yourself in a stupid position of a stand, loss of face, embarrassment? Provocations in the field of relationship psychology happen in life at every turn. Sometimes a person is provoked to the usual irritation, and sometimes to commit stupid acts unusual for him. Provocation can be conditionally divided into frank, everyday, when, looking directly into his eyes, someone forces someone to a quarrel, scandal, loss of face; and hidden, subtle, suggesting intrigue, when the true customers of the intrigue are behind the backs of the performers, or act in one person, but behave so cunningly and even insidiously that it becomes far from immediately clear.

Provocation in relation to the victim solves several problems at once. First of all, a person is brought out of his usual state of equilibrium. Secondly, a trap is deliberately prepared for him: he is led to commit a very specific action, which seems to follow from the logic of the development of the situation, but in fact works to discredit him, destroy him personally and professionally. How soon he will regret when he does this action, which is literally squeezed out of him! Thirdly, he gets entangled in the networks widely placed around him and loses understanding of what is the only correct decision and action that will help him get out of the impasse.

The vast majority of people who find themselves in a provocative situation feel disgusting both on the psychological and on the subtle psychoenergetic level. They feel bad not only when they are victims, but even when they have to be at the epicenter of a provocation in the form of witnesses. And of course, they can't even think of acting as gamblers provocateurs. However, there are people of a different type, and there are not so few of them, who feel like a fish in water in the muddy element of provocation. There are a lot of them among journalists, television people, businessmen, politicians, political consultants, representatives of show business, pop stars, professional party-goers attending fashion presentations and nightclubs. At the same time, I would not identify a predisposition to provocations with belonging to the so-called television and political elite - the ability to provoke people to psychological breakdowns is distinguished by very different people, including completely ordinary people.

The art of protected behavior in provocative situations begins, as always, with prevention. Try not to get into such situations, anticipate them and avoid them. To do this, it is useful to develop intuition regarding possible future troubles and awaken the ability to recognize potential provocateurs. Who should be included in the possible category of people who like to put you in provocative situations? First of all, those who are prone to intrigue and manipulation of the fate of people. If you know a person as a schemer towards other people, why should he be kind towards you? Often intrigues are weaved by the so-called artistic people who like to do it out of sporting interest. After all, there are innate intriguers in their essence, who simply do not know how to live differently - such is their nature. It is from these that large politicians and oligarchs are then obtained. Remember how Korzhakov once wrote about Berezovsky that literally every minute he intrigues simultaneously against many people. We are also provoked by people with a pronounced egoistic orientation, who, like a tank, go to their goal without bothering to observe moral principles. They will try to piss us off and provoke us to stupidity or mistakes out of the interests of the cause. If they are by nature also evil people, the chance of running into a provocation increases. And, finally, non-obligatory people who easily make promises and then do not fulfill them, also often, against their will, plunge us into a provocative situation.

How to recognize a provocateur if we know nothing about him, but we have to do something with him? You can apply the already mentioned method from Agni Yoga by evaluating his eyes, voice and gait and comparing the impression you get with the experience you got when communicating with other provocateurs. Listen to your own heart, to the signals that your inner intuition sends you, which unmistakably knows so many truths. And if possible, do not rush to engage in any business with such a person who causes your suspicion until you receive full confirmation that the contact is safe.

If prevention did not help and someone skillful, taking advantage of your naivety, nevertheless plunged you into a provocative situation, then defend yourself with all your might and, as they say in politics, "do not succumb to provocation." It's one thing to avoid provocation, it's another thing to get into a provocative situation, but not to let the provoking energy inward and maintain psychological stability. In this case, try to apply the method of non-identification, described in detail in the book "Invisible Armor". In order to be able to apply it in an extreme situation, one must more often train in non-identification in the most ordinary life circumstances. Remember that provoking circumstances will change after a while, they will pass (as Solomon said, “this will pass too”) and therefore, before you break loose, say insolent things or do something unexpected, think about the future. Maybe this thought will stop you. If you feel that some unwanted spring within you is ready to loosen and non-identification does not help, then strain your will and patience and still restrain yourself.

However, effective defense in the face of provocation is by no means passive restraint, and a paradoxical response to intrigue is by no means always a stupid response. If you do something unexpected and unforeseen by the organizers of the intrigue, then this will be a good way out. Of course, we are talking about a paradoxical answer, permeated with elastic force, non-standard solution and humor.

The famous French bacteriologist Louis Pasteur, who studied the smallpox culture in the laboratory, once received a challenge to a duel, which clearly did not bode well for him, as it was set up by a rich and influential nobleman who decided that the scientist had insulted him. Consent could lead to the death of a scientist who did not own weapons, unlike a well-trained aristocrat. Direct refusal threatened to lose face. However, Pasteur quickly found himself and told the second who brought him the call: “Since they call me, I have the right to choose weapons. Here are two flasks: in one smallpox bacteria, and in the other pure water. If the person who sent you agrees to drink one of them to choose from, I'll drink another."

Is it necessary to say that the duel did not take place?

Examples of the high art of paradoxical behavior and brilliant responses under conditions of a rigged provocation were demonstrated to humanity by the Great Teachers. The Savior himself, with his answer that it is necessary to serve "to Caesar what is Caesar's, but to God God's" confounded the treacherous lawyers who tried to find a reason to seize a person who seemed very dangerous to them. Keep this in mind and learn from such examples the high art of paradoxical defense.

And, finally, another method of successfully resisting intrigues and manipulations is the ability to publicly disclose them, highlight them, show people their unsightly ins and outs. This immediately attracts new allies and sympathizers to the whistleblower, which increases his chances in the fight against provocateurs.

Provocation

"They are leading a provocateur under escort." February 1917, Petrograd (photo from the State Museum of Political History of Russia, St. Petersburg)

Provocation- an action or a series of actions with the aim of causing a response action / inaction of the provoked (s), as a rule, with the aim of artificially creating thus difficult circumstances or consequences for the provoked (s). The subject who commits provocations is called provocateur. Since provocations are based on the characteristics of human psychology and his behavior as a social being, they are studied by psychology and sociology.

Review

A provocation can be a single action or a series of interrelated actions. In turn, actions can be directed both directly at the provoked person and at his environment. A number of multidirectional provocative actions make it possible to determine the relationship, as well as the strength and principles of the work of such relationships between the provoked and his environment. Provocative actions carried out in a certain period of time make it possible to determine the threshold of susceptibility of the provoked to stimuli and the strength of stimuli.

Provocations occupy an important place in marketing, military affairs, art, politics, in relations between individuals, groups of people, between legal entities and states. In politics, provocations are often focused on the reaction of public opinion, which is negative towards the enemy. In particular, among the methods of provocation may be the commission of unseemly acts under the guise of one's opponent, causing damage to his known opponents, in order to provoke a reaction of sympathy in public opinion. In military affairs, a provocation can be a false retreat, creating the illusion of the insecurity of any of one's flank, in order to lure the enemy into a trap.

For political purposes, states can sacrifice part of the troops, provoking the enemy into an open attack in order to get a casus belli.

Provocations are also used by law enforcement agencies, although in many countries this is illegal. Examples of such provocations are the test purchase or sale of narcotic drugs, when the initiator of the crime is not the suspect, but law enforcement officers. The provocateur of a crime is the person from whom the initiative to commit it comes.

Provocateurs were usually called secret employees of special services (especially the security departments of the Russian Empire), who incited the revolutionaries to commit any criminal acts so that they would then be arrested and convicted. Often, revolutionaries called all secret employees (informants) of security departments provocateurs, even if their role was limited to reporting information about revolutionaries.

Famous provocations

• Shakespeare's Iago provoked Othello's jealousy, which ended in a sad way for Desdemona
• The burning of Rome by Nero is considered a classic provocation to unleash repression against Christians.
• The Reichstag fire was similarly used by the authorities of the Third Reich to fight communists, Jews and other opponents of Nazi power.
• The Gleiwitz Incident of the SS and served as the pretext for the German attack on Poland on September 1, 1939, which became the beginning of World War II.
• The Mainilsky incident became the reason for the start of the Soviet-Finnish war in 1939.
• The pogrom in Krakow began with a provocation.
• Operation Susanna is a provocation staged by the Israeli military intelligence AMAN in July 1954 and directed against Egypt.
• The scandalous show To Catch a Predator, whose agents pose as minors on the Internet and seduce potential pedophiles in order to bring them to prison.
• Many political assassinations, used by supporters of the slain for their own benefit and/or to discredit the opponents of the slain, have been suspected of provocation, although this has almost never been proven:

see also

Notes

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Synonyms:

See what "Provocation" is in other dictionaries:

- (lat.). 1) challenge to a duel. 2) in legal proceedings the same as an appeal. 3) incitement to a crime with the aim of handing over the criminal to the authorities. Dictionary of foreign words included in the Russian language. Chudinov A.N., 1910. PROVOCATION ... ... Dictionary of foreign words of the Russian language

PROVOCATION, provocations, wives. (lat. provocatio challenge). 1. In the capitalist countries, the system of struggle of the ruling class against the revolutionary movement, which consists in the fact that the political police sends into the ranks of revolutionary organizations (or recruits ... Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov

provocation- and, well. provocation f. lat. provocative call. 1. An action directed against individuals, groups, states, etc., with the aim of causing a retaliatory action, entailing grave or disastrous consequences. ALS 1. Several provocations .. were ... Historical Dictionary of Gallicisms of the Russian Language

Motivation, excitement, incitement Dictionary of Russian synonyms. provocation n., number of synonyms: 4 excitement (58) ... Synonym dictionary

- (Provocatio ad populum) in Roman state law appeal in criminal matters from the magistrate to the people. The right of appeal is one of the oldest rights of a Roman citizen; there is reason to believe that it already existed in the era of the kings ... Encyclopedia of Brockhaus and Efron

- (from the Latin provocatio call), incitement, inducement of individuals, groups, organizations, etc. to actions that can lead to dire consequences ... Modern Encyclopedia

- (from lat. provocatio challenge) incitement, inducement of individuals, groups, organizations, etc. to actions that can lead to serious consequences ... Big Encyclopedic Dictionary

PROVOCATION, and, wives. 1. Treacherous behavior, instigation of whom n. to such actions, which can lead to serious consequences for him. Set up a provocation. Do not succumb to provocation. 2. Aggressive actions to cause ... ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov