Our gestures, appearance and non-verbal signals sometimes say more than words. They make up, according to various studies, 55-60% of all information that we receive through personal contact. But we, as a rule, pay attention only to the spoken words, which means that we often lose a significant part of the information. This was exactly what Alan Pease, one of the world's most famous communication and relationship specialists, known as "Mr. Body Language", at the Synergy Global Forum was dedicated to. However, if you look deeper, the interpretations of body language actively advertised by him are more like herbal and conspiracy treatment than serious medicine: maybe it will cure, or maybe it will kill - how lucky.

The views of Alan Pease and the ideas he conveys to the audience are well known. Pease actively consults, among his clients are IBM, BBC, Mazda, Suzuki. He is the author of 17 books on communication and sales that have been translated into 54 languages ​​and have sold over 27 million copies. His most famous book is Body Language. How to read the thoughts of others by their gestures, first published in 1978. In 2004, a new edition of it, New Body Language. Extended version" .

Body language basics

For those who have not read the books of Alan Pease, here are a few provisions that he highlights as the main ones.

1. Non-verbal cues It is an outward reflection of a person's emotional state. We are constantly interpreting or comparing a person's behavior with what they say, and based on this we try to understand what is going on in their head.
2. Susceptibility is the ability to notice contradictions between the words of a person and the movements and gestures he makes. The meaning of what you want to say is conveyed more by body language than by words. Gesticulation and body position show a person's emotions, what he feels, and not just what he says. Body language is 60-80% determined by the influence you have on other people during meetings. A person who relies on visual cues in face-to-face communication draws more accurate conclusions about his interlocutor than someone who relies only on words. Words can be deliberately false or not heard by us, proper body language will show your true feelings.
3. Three rules for the correct interpretation of gestures:

• First rule: interpret gestures collectively. You can understand the true meaning of a word only when you consider it in context, in relation to other words. The sequence of gestures that form "sentences" is called chains. Body language strings, like verbal sentences, must be at least three words long so that you can accurately understand the meaning of each one.
• Second rule: look for congruence. Pisian congruence is a complete match of body language and speech signals. If the words do not contradict body language signals, then the interlocutor is most likely telling the truth. When words and body language signals contradict each other, Alan Pease advises to ignore the words and trust the body language.
• Third rule: interpret gestures in context. Obviously, human gestures depend on the environment (for example, temperature), the specific situation, clothing, physical capabilities, and even fatigue. “In addition to taking into account the totality of gestures and the correspondence between words and body movements, for the correct interpretation of gestures it is necessary to take into account the context in which these gestures live,” writes Pease in his book.

1. The difference between male and female understanding. In general, it can be said that women are more receptive to non-verbal cues than men. Men, for the most part, have little understanding of body language. Women's intuition has long been proverbial, women are three to four times better at deciphering body language. According to Pisa, it develops due to the fact that women spend a lot of time with babies and try to understand what they need before they start talking.

The meaning of what you want to say is conveyed more by body language than by words. Body language is 60-80% determined by the influence you have on other people during meetings.

Research conducted by psychologists at Harvard University has shown that women are much more attentive to body language than men. The subjects were shown short videos with the sound turned off, and then they were asked to explain what was happening on the screen. As a result, it turned out that women correctly assessed what was happening in 87% of cases, while men - only 42%. “From 14 to 16 regions of the female brain evaluate the behavior of the interlocutor, while in men there are only 4-6 such regions,” writes Pease. “That is why a woman, having come to a party, can immediately assess the relationship between the other guests: who quarreled, who is in love with whom, who recently broke up, etc.”

In general, Alan Pease is very fond of the theme of the difference between men and women. Understanding body language isn't the only difference. “My wife can run a multi-million dollar business, but she can't park. And I’m the opposite, ”Pease said to the approving applause of the women in the hall. This was the starting point for women's parking lots (20% more parking space and only driving forward), which, according to him, turned out to be super popular.

Here are some specific recommendations from Alan Pease on using body language from his book and talk. This is only a small part of what Pease advises; but it gives an idea of ​​how he understands the practical application of body language.

Is body language universal?

Can Alan Pease's recommendations be trusted? Is it possible to make serious decisions based on body language, with big consequences? The fact that our gestures and movements often betray our thoughts and feelings is not new, it has been known for a long time. The fact that a whole system of interrelated movements can be distinguished is also a well-known fact. And of course, it is important and useful to learn to read these non-verbal signs. But is it possible to directly rely on everything that Pease advises, can all this be used in work and in life?

Body language strings, like verbal sentences, must be at least three words long so that you can accurately understand the meaning of each one. They should only be interpreted collectively.

Even at the first acquaintance with his ideas, many questions and doubts arise. Unfortunately, in life everything is much more complicated, and human gestures can almost always be interpreted in different ways. If I leaned on my arm and crossed my legs, this does not mean that I was not interested in listening and I took a defensive position. I'm just tired of one pose and want to stimulate blood flow. And if I got up and began to walk around the room, this is not a sign of extreme rejection, but the habit of "thinking with my feet." And each of the readers will remember a lot of such examples.

We saw above that Alan Pease recognizes the importance of context in interpreting body language. But at the same time, in lectures and in his book, he constantly forgets about this and speaks of body language as universal, and interpreted almost unambiguously.

No matter how confident and convincing your words sound, if you are lying, your body will send the appropriate signals to show others that you are deceiving them.

In fact, this is not a body language textbook, but some set of practical observations and recommendations. "Best practices" in the field of body language. And as with any best practice, it is very helpful to understand the underlying assumptions and perspectives that underlie them. Therefore, in the second part, we will consider in more detail the main arguments that Pease makes in support of his ideas, as well as the implicit grounds on which he bases his conclusions.

Body Language was first published in English in 1981. “Read any person like a book”, choose the right line of conduct, feel confident and at ease in any environment, make the most correct decisions - all this is available to everyone. The book will help you become aware of your own non-verbal signals, teach you how to use them for effective communication. Don't let yourself be manipulated!

Allan Pease. Body language. - Nizhny Novgorod: IQ Publishing House, 1992. - 272 p.

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Chapter I. General understanding of body language

Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language, and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says. When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues.

Some gestures are innate, others are acquired, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. All over the world, the basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they look angry. However, in general, the non-verbal language of one nation is different from the non-verbal language of another nation.

One of the biggest mistakes newcomers to learning body language can make is trying to single out one gesture and treat it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of the head can mean a thousand things - dandruff, fleas, sweating, insecurity, forgetfulness, or telling a lie - depending on what other gestures accompany this scratching, so for a correct interpretation we must take into account the whole complex of accompanying gestures.

Studies show that non-verbal signals carry 5 times more information than verbal ones, and if the signals are incongruent, people rely on non-verbal information, preferring it to verbal.

A person at the top of the social ladder or professional career may use the richness of their vocabulary in the process of communication, while a less educated or less professional person will more often rely on gestures rather than words in the process of communication.

When an adult lies, his brain sends him an impulse to cover his mouth in an attempt to delay the words of deceit, but at the last moment the hand avoids the mouth and another gesture is born - touching the nose (Fig. 1).

Rice. 1. Gesture of a deceiving adult

The most typical question is "Is it possible to fake in your own body language?" The usual answer to this question is no, because the lack of congruence between gestures, bodily signals, and spoken words will give you away. For example, open palms are associated with honesty, but when a deceiver opens his arms to you and smiles at you while telling a lie, his body's microsignals will give away his secret thoughts. These may be constricted pupils, a raised eyebrow, or a curvature of the corner of the mouth.

Chapter II. Zones and territories

The dimensions of a person's personal spatial zone are socially and nationally determined. While members of one nation, such as the Japanese, are accustomed to overcrowding, others prefer wide open spaces and like to keep their distance. The personal spatial territory of a person can be divided into 4 zones (Fig. 2). If you want people to feel comfortable in your company, follow the golden rule: "Keep your distance."

Rice. 2. Spatial zones of a person

The crowding of people at concerts, in cinema halls, on escalators, in transport, in elevators leads to the inevitable invasion of people into each other's intimate zones. There are a number of unwritten rules for the behavior of a Westerner in crowded conditions:

• Don't talk to anyone, not even people you know.
• Don't stare at others.
• The face must be completely impartial.
• If you have a book or newspapers in your hands, you should be completely immersed in reading.
• The closer in transport, the more restrained your movements should be.

With this in mind, it's easy to see why areas with higher population densities have higher crime rates.

Moving into the intimate territory of a person of the opposite sex is a way of expressing his interest in this person and is called flirting. However, in the Japanese and many European nations, the intimate zone is only 23-25 ​​cm. Ignorance of the cultural differences in the intimate zones of different people can easily lead to misunderstandings and misjudgments about the behavior and culture of others.

Chapter III. Palms

From time immemorial, an open palm has been associated with sincerity, honesty, devotion and gullibility. When a person begins to be frank, he usually opens his palms in full or in part to the interlocutor. When a child is lying or hiding something, he hides his palms behind his back. There are three basic palm command gestures: palm up, palm down, and pointing finger (Figure 3), and their corresponding three types of handshake (Figure 4).

Rice. 3. Palm position: (a) trusting, (b) dominant, (c) aggressive

Rice. 4. Handshakes (for a shirt with a dark cuff): (a) the master of the situation, (b) yielding the initiative, (c) an equal handshake

Chapter IV. Hand and hand gestures

By rubbing their palms, people non-verbally communicate their positive expectations. The person throwing the die rubs it between his palms as a signal that he expects to win. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment and a person’s desire to hide their negative attitude (Fig. 5).

Rice. 5. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment.

Laying hands behind the back is considered a gesture of a self-confident person with a sense of superiority over others. Exposing the thumbs speaks of authority, superiority and even aggressiveness of a person (Fig. 6).

Rice. 6. Thumbs up indicates authority.

chapter V

What gestures can betray a person if he is lying? These are gestures associated with touching hands to the face (Fig. 7). To disguise the hand-guarding mouth gesture, some people try to fake a cough. The nose touch is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture. Men also rub their eyelids, and if the lie is very serious, they turn their eyes away, usually to the floor. Women very delicately do this movement, swiping a finger under the eye. Scratching and rubbing the ear indicates the desire of the listener to isolate himself from words.

Rice. 7. Covering your mouth with your hand may indicate the speaker is lying.

Chapter VI. Hands as barriers

By placing one or both hands on our chest, we form a barrier. This is a clear signal that the person feels threatened or threatened. When the listener crosses his arms over his chest, he not only develops a negative attitude towards the speaker, but he also pays less attention to what he hears. If you use the full gesture of crossing your arms, it becomes obvious to others that you are experiencing a feeling of fear. Sometimes we replace it with a partial, incomplete cross, in which one hand is placed across the body, taking the other hand at the elbow.

Another common variant of the incomplete barrier is a gesture in which a person holds his own hands (Fig. 8). This gesture is commonly used by people standing in front of a large audience when receiving an award or when giving a speech. This gesture allows the person to regain the sense of emotional security they experienced as a child when their parents held their hand under dangerous circumstances.

Rice. 8. Disguised protective gesture

Chapter VII. Protective barrier formed with legs

Like protective barriers formed with the help of the arms, crossing the legs is a sign of a negative or defensive attitude of a person. Crossing the arms over the chest was originally associated with the function of protecting the heart and chest area, while crossing the legs is an attempt to protect the genital area.

When the crossed leg is also accompanied by the crossing of arms over the chest (Fig. 9), this means that the person has “disconnected” from the conversation. It would be foolish for a salesman to even try to ask a buyer in this position about his decision, and you should ask a few follow-up questions to clarify his objections. This position is very popular with women all over the world, especially if they want to express their dissatisfaction with a husband or friend.

Rice. 9. A woman expresses her displeasure

As soon as people begin to feel comfortable and close to others, they obey an unwritten law, according to which the protective posture changes to an open, relaxed one.

Chapter VIII. Other notable gestures and movements

Most chair-riders are dominant types who try to control and dominate people if they get bored with the topic of conversation, and the back of the chair serves as a good defense against any attack from others (Fig. 10). The easiest way to disarm the rider is to stand or sit behind him, from which he will feel the vulnerability of the rear in the event of an attack and change his position, becoming less aggressive.

Rice. 10. Aggressive posture

If a chair lover comes to you and his aggressive manner annoys you, try to move him to a stable chair with armrests that will prevent him from getting into his favorite position.

When a person does not agree with the opinion or attitude of other people, but does not dare to express his point of view, he makes gestures that are called repression gestures, i.e. they appear as a result of restraining one's opinion. Picking up, plucking non-existent villi from clothes is one of these gestures.

There are three main head positions. The straight position of the head is characteristic of a person who is neutral about what he hears. When the head tilts to the side, this indicates that the person has awakened interest (Fig. 11). Charles Darwin was one of the first to notice that people, like animals, tilt their heads to the side when they become interested in something. Women use this head position to show their interest in an attractive man. If the head is tilted down, this indicates that the person's attitude is negative, and even judgmental.

Rice. 11. Interested head position

Laying hands behind the head is typical for people with a sense of superiority over others. This gesture is also characteristic of "know-it-alls", and many people get annoyed when someone demonstrates this gesture in front of them (Fig. 12).

Rice. 12. “Maybe someday you will be as successful as me.”

Chapter IX. Eye signals

In Expressive Eyes, Hess says that the eyes transmit the most accurate and open signals of all human communication signals, because the pupils behave completely independently. When a person is excited, his pupils dilate four times against the normal state. On the contrary, an angry, gloomy mood causes the pupils to contract, resulting in the so-called "beady eyes" or "snake" eyes.

When conducting business negotiations, imagine that there is a triangle on the forehead of your interlocutor (Fig. 13a). By directing your gaze to this triangle, you create a serious atmosphere, and the other person feels that you are in a businesslike mood. Provided that your gaze does not fall below the eyes of the other person, you will be able to control the course of negotiations with your gaze. An intimate gaze passes through the line of the eyes and descends below the chin to other parts of the interlocutor's body (Fig. 13b). With close communication, this triangle descends from the eyes to the chest, and with distant communication, from the eyes to the perineum. Men and women, with the help of this look, show their interest in a person, and if he is also interested, then he will respond with the same look.

Rice. 13. Where to look: (a) business, (b) intimate

Chapter XI. Cigarettes, cigars, pipes and glasses

A positive, self-confident, and self-satisfied person will blow smoke upward almost constantly; conversely, a negative person, with secretive or suspicious thoughts, will almost always direct the jet downward. If good cards came to the smoking player during the distribution of cards, he will probably blow up, and if bad cards came, he will blow them down.

Looking over glasses indicates a critical judgmental attitude towards a person.

Chapter XII. Gestures of proprietary and territorial claims

People lean against objects or each other in order to state their territorial claims to this object or person. For example, if you want to photograph your friend in front of his new car, boat, house or some other property, you will definitely see how he leans on - his newly acquired property, puts his foot or puts his hand on it (Fig. 14 ). When he touches his property, it becomes an extension of his body, and in this way he shows others that it belongs to him. Lovers constantly hold hands or hug in public.

Rice. 14. A gesture expressing a sense of pride in one's property

Chapter XIII. mirroring

When you attend any official reception, evening or party, pay attention that some people communicating with each other sit or stand in the same position and repeat each other's gestures. This "mirroring" is a means by which one person communicates to another that he agrees with his opinions and views (for more on mirror neurons in the brain, see ,).

Chapter XIV. Bowing, slouching, their dependence on social status

Since ancient times, the desire to reduce one's height in front of others has been used as a means of establishing relationships of subordination. We address members of the Royal Dynasty as "Your Highness" and those who commit obscene acts are referred to as "low".

By deliberately shrinking one's figure, one can consciously avoid displeasure from others. Let's say you were speeding and the police stopped you. Since the official position of the policeman is significantly higher than yours, try to act in this way:

• Immediately get out of your car (your territory) and go to the police car (his territory). In this case, he does not have to leave his territory.
• Try to bend down enough to look shorter than him.
• To belittle your personality, say how stupid and irresponsible you acted, and to elevate him, thank him for pointing out your mistake to you. Tell him that you appreciate his hard work, especially when he has to deal with fools like you.
• Stretch out both hands to him, palms up, in a pleading voice, ask him not to issue a fine.

Chapter XV. Influencing others with the help of various positions of the body

The turn of the body and the direction of the toe of the foot indicates the direction of the person's thoughts. From them you can determine where he would like to go. On fig. Figure 15 shows two people talking as they walk through the door: the man on the left is trying to hold the other person's attention, but the other person wants to continue moving in the direction his body is pointing, although his head is turned to indicate that he is interested. But only when the person on the right turns his body to the other, a conversation of mutually interested people can take place.

Rice. 15. By turning the body, it is clear what a person wants to do, and where he wants to go

The angle at which people stand in relation to each other also provides information about their relationship. For example, people in most English-speaking countries stand at a 90-degree angle during a conversation (Figure 16). This posture is a non-verbal invitation to a third person to join them, standing in the place of this third point.

Rice. 16. Open triangular position

When it is required to establish a relationship of ownership or intimacy, the angle between the bodies decreases to zero degrees (Fig. 17).

Rice. 17. Closed position. The body of the body is turned towards the person you are interested in

The legs most often indicate the direction a person would like to go, but they also indicate a person who is attractive and interesting to you.

Chapter XVI. Different types of tables and ways of placing participants at the table

The strategic location of "forces" and the correct distribution of participants at the table is a means of their effective interaction. Different shades of people's attitude towards you can be expressed through the place they occupy at the table relative to you. For example, face B can take four basic positions relative to face A (Fig. 18).

• B1: Corner arrangement; characteristic of people engaged in friendly, casual conversation; it will also be the best strategic location for a sales agent when presenting a product to a new customer.
• B2: Position of business interaction; used when two people are working together on a problem or project.
• OT: Competitive-defensive position. People take this position at the table when they are in a competitive relationship, or when one of them reprimands the other for some wrongdoing. If B wants to influence A, then standing against each other reduces his chances of a successful negotiation.
• Q4: Independent position. This position is occupied by people who do not want to interact at the table with each other. Usually this happens in the library, in the park on a bench or in a restaurant at a table.

Rice. 18. The main types of arrangement of people around the table

King Arthur used the round table to give all knights an equal amount of power and equal position. The round table creates an atmosphere of informality and ease, and is the best way to conduct a conversation between people of the same social status.

Chapter XVII. Various ways to artificially increase the status

The higher the back of the chair, the more power and authority the person sitting on it has. Kings, queens, popes and other privileged persons make the back of the chair up to 2.5 meters high to emphasize their status relative to their subjects.

Hess, E. The Tell-Tale Eye, New York, 1975. Apparently not translated into Russian. - Note. Baguzin.

It is human nature in the process of communication to express their emotions and feelings, regardless of oral presentation or in the form of written messages. People, in direct contact with each other, using facial expressions, body language and gestures, bring bright colors to the narrative. It becomes possible to understand whether the interlocutor was interested in this topic or left indifferent.

Non-verbal communication. True or myth?

Some doubt the existence of body language, considering all conversations on this subject to be empty fiction.

Opponents of the theory of postures and gestures argue that the change in body position occurs for completely different reasons. For example, when sitting, it is more convenient for a person to cross his arms if there are no armrests, and not at all because he is a misanthrope.

They begin to yawn not only from the fact that they begin to get bored. Lack of oxygen in a cramped office or overwork can trigger this process. Therefore, before formulating conclusions, it is necessary to understand why the interlocutor began to actively gesticulate or rotate any object in his hands.

An experiment will help to reveal the sign language. And the test subjects can be friends and relatives, whose facial expressions, postures and gestures change in different life situations. But in no case should you impose and pressure, otherwise you can damage long-term friendship and good relations.

Non-verbal means of communication

The non-verbal means of communication is the process of transmitting thoughts without the use of speech - the second signaling system. It absorbs 60-80% of the veiled information.

Each of us, communicating with an opponent who correctly states the essence of the matter and argues with facts, often feels a certain catch in his words. But, despite the reliability and veracity of the information, intuition tells you that you should not rely entirely on this person. And with further communication, discomfort is felt, a person is looking for something to complain about.

And, indeed, the interlocutor is betrayed by changes in facial expressions, postures and gestures that contradict his smooth presentation. There is some discrepancy and there are serious fears that he is not acting in your interests at all.

It is difficult for a person to hold back emotions for a long time, they must find a way out. But due to circumstances, the rules of decency and the norms of society, we are not free to surrender to the will of feelings and express them by changing posture, facial expressions and gestures. Often this behavior becomes the norm and becomes a habit.

Examples of non-verbal communication

• If a girl, showing her wrist, communicates with a representative of the opposite sex, she lets him know that she is ready to get close to him. And if she still paints her lips with bright lipstick, then he really became the object of her passion.

• There is a common method of establishing contact with new acquaintances: you should copy his gestures and postures. If the interlocutor crossed his arms, you can repeat this gesture. This manipulation promotes non-verbal unity. There is a whole set of such little tricks.

To capture the true meaning, it is necessary to pay close attention to the position of the hands and feet of the interlocutor.

Mainly gestures and postures emphasize the correctness, and sometimes they contradict what has been said.

It's hard to believe a cross-limbed person who convinces another of good intentions. It is unlikely that he will fulfill the promise. Surely he uses the location and trust of partners for personal interests.

Through gestures and posture, you can hide some information from opponents. Despite the ease and ease of communication, the pose makes it clear that the owner does not intend to share important information with anyone.

Psychology of gestures

Alan Pease, a well-known psychologist, is called "Mr. body language." The author has published his works in millions of copies. Alana Pease set out to not only teach the reader to "decipher" body language, but also to apply the acquired knowledge in practice. Even the slightest changes do not escape his attention, up to the dilation of the pupils and the dilation of the eyelids.

First, there is an opportunity to establish communication.

Secondly, it is possible with a high degree of probability to calculate the further actions of a person.

From the standpoint of psychological knowledge, Alan focuses on the distinctive features of behavior and gestures in women and men.

In addition to gender differences, the body movements of managers and subordinates differ sharply. Watching the conversation, you can fix the rapid change of emotions.

Non-verbal behavior and gestures

• If a friend stoops, this indicates that he was inflicted with a strong offense or he experienced severe stress. The exorbitant "severity of the problems" does not allow him to straighten his shoulders. He is uncomfortable with the fact that he cannot cope with the situation and thus closes.

• If the interlocutor leans towards the speaker, then this means that he is interested in the topic of the conversation. So he tries to get closer to the source of information.

• By tilting his head and at the same time lowering his eyelids, the interlocutor expresses complete approval. There can be no doubt about his respectful attitude. On the contrary, if a person often touches his face with his hands, touching his eyes or the corners of his mouth, he does not trust you.

• The state of the individual is given out by the hands. When agitated and irritated, it is common for a person to stroke himself, straighten his hair, or roll and pull the first objects that come across in his hands. Sometimes he puts his fingers in his mouth. In this case, he needs the support and approval of the opponent.

• Trust, openness, willingness to cooperate are demonstrated by open palms. If he does not cross his elbows and legs, then he impresses you. And if he put his hands behind his back and raised his chin high, then he thereby demonstrates his superiority.

• To convince the partner of a serious and responsible approach to further cooperation, the following method should be used. During business negotiations, it is necessary to mentally draw a triangle between the eyes of a potential partner above the bridge of the nose and look into this zone.

75 signs of body language according to Max Eggert

	physical sign	Possible values
	Adam's apple movements	Anxiety, lie
	Hands in front of the body, touching the purse, jewelry, shirt collar, etc.	Uncertainty
	One arm across the body, clinging to the other arm	Uncertainty
	Arms and palms open	openness, sincerity
	Arms crossed on chest	Fencing off someone or something that is not recognized, an expression of a negative attitude
	Arms crossed, one holding the other	Uncertainty
	Hands holding a handbag, a cup, etc. like a barrier	Uncertainty
	cringe	Desire to defend
	Blinking (rapid)
	Deep breath	Relaxation, harmony
	Chin stroking	Decision thinking, evaluation
	sincere smile	Greeting, desire for rapprochement, approval
	eye rubbing	Confusion, fatigue
	Extinct look	Boredom, contemplation
	Touching the face (including mouth, eyes, ears, neck)	Eagerness to hide the truth or nervousness
	Finger (eyeglasses, etc.) in the mouth	Evaluation or waiting for confirmation
	Direction of toes	An indication of where attention is directed (to the door if the person wants to leave, to the interlocutor if he is attractive)
	stamping
	Stroking the interlocutor	The desire for intimacy
	preening	Showing interest in the interlocutor
	"Cutting" with the palm of your hand	Aggressiveness
	The circumference of the wrist behind the back	Complete trust or vice versa - frustration
	The hand rests on the head	Interested evaluation
	Stroking the back of the neck	Feeling threatened or angry
	Face resting on open palms, elbows on the table	Women's technique to make themselves more attractive or attract the attention of a man
	Clenched fists	Frustration (the stronger the frustration, the higher the fists)
	Hands behind back	Confidence, power
	hands in pockets	Trying to appear confident, calling to "Convince me" or demonstrating withdrawal
	Hands with spread elbows on knees	Using Space to Demonstrate Dominance
	Hands open palms up	Submission
	Rubbing the palms	hope for success
	hands clasped	Confidence, relaxation, arrogance
	Reliance on hands	Expression of power through the use of space
	Handshake with elbow circumference	Attempted demonstration of close friendship
	Stretching the hand palm down	Trying to pressure
	Stretching your hand palm up	Sign of submission
	Handshake, another hand on the shoulder	Attempt to demonstrate intimacy
	Handshake with other hand from above	Desire to show dominance
	Handshake with vertical palms and approximately the same strength	Showing respect, acknowledging equality, and “inviting” rapport
	Wrist handshake	The manifestation of joy at the meeting. Acceptable in close relationships
	Gesticulation in front of the face	Negative attitude; lies or nervousness
	Strengthened breathing	Fear or anxiety
	Lean forward	Interest, approval
	crossed legs	Closure, posture of submissiveness or protection; in women - a sign of comfort
	The leg is thrown over the leg so that the one farthest from the neighbor is closest to him	A sign of approval or sympathy
	Legs "four": ankle of one on the knee of the other	Confidence, dominance, rivalry posture
	Socks apart (men)	openness or dominance
	Legs apart	Using Space to Establish Dominance
	lip biting	Anxiety, unwillingness to speak
	lip licking	Anxiety, attention
	Glancing at the clock	Desire to leave, boredom, indifference
	mirroring
	Covering your mouth	Willingness to ask if you are being lied to, or unwillingness to say too much
	backward movement	Disagreement or anxiety
	Forward movement
	Palm bent, index finger pointing forward	The desire to achieve agreement or obedience
	Palms facing down	Demonstration of power
	Palms facing up	Consent, willingness to listen
	preening	Desire to be attractive
	Rapid or sharp inhalation	Surprise, shock
	Sitting opposite each other	Rival or defensive position
	Sitting side by side, chairs slightly turned towards each other	Collaboration Position
	Smile with one lips	Submissiveness or insincerity
	Smile all over your face	Greeting, benevolence, invitation to recognition
		Arrogance or insincerity
	Speech is free and fast	Passion
	Sudden slowing down of speech
	Full length pose	Striving for dominance, for attractiveness
	Steepling	Trust or, when listening, the sign "Convince me!"
	clenched teeth	Frustration, anger
	Playing with the thumbs, such as putting them in the pockets of a jacket or trousers	Sign of superiority, dominance, authority
	Thumbs tucked into belt or pockets	Posture of sexual aggression
	More frequent tics	Anxiety

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Can body language signals be imitated?

We are often asked, “Can body language signals be imitated?” We can confidently answer no, because when imitating there will be a mismatch between gestures, micro-signals of the body and spoken words. For example, open palms are always associated with honesty, but when the impersonator shows you his palms and smiles widely, uttering a deliberate lie, he is betrayed by micro gestures that he is not able to control. His pupils constrict, one eyebrow rises, the corner of his mouth curves. These signals are contrary to open palms and a sincere smile. As a result, the interlocutors to whom such people turn do not believe what they hear. Women are especially sensitive in this respect.

It is easier to imitate body language signals with men than with women, because men in general are less able to recognize their meaning.

Life Story: Lying Applicant

We talked to a man who explained why he had lost his job. He told us that he had inadequate prospects at his previous job, that it was difficult for him to leave, that he got along well with his colleagues. My colleague, who interviewed with me, thought that the applicant was clearly lying. She said she had an "intuitive sense" that the man obviously didn't have the highest opinion of his former boss, despite all the kind words he'd been given. Watching the video of the interview in slow motion, we noticed that every time the mention of a former boss, the applicant wrinkled the corner of his mouth for a split second. Such conflicting signals did not last very long, and an untrained observer would not notice them. We called our applicant's former boss, who told us that this man had been fired for distributing drugs to employees. Although the applicant did his best to imitate body language signals, the conflicting microsignals did not escape the sharp gaze of the female psychologist.

The main thing in this process is to separate real gestures from imitation. Only in this way will you be able to distinguish an honest person from a deceiver or an impostor. Pupil dilation, excessive sweating, and blushing on the cheeks cannot be consciously imitated, but it is not difficult to learn to demonstrate open palms, confirming your sincerity.

The impersonator can successfully pretend, but only for a very short time.

However, there are situations in which body language signals are deliberately imitated in order to obtain certain advantages. Consider, for example, the Miss World or Miss Universe contests. Each participant uses pre-learned movements that help her look sincere and friendly. The more successfully the contestant sends such signals to the judges, the higher her marks will be. But even experienced beauty contestants can only pretend for a very short time. Sometimes their bodies send conflicting signals that are independent of conscious actions. Many politicians successfully imitate body language cues to convince voters that their promises are sincere. And sometimes such imitation is crowned with success - remember at least John F. Kennedy or Adolf Hitler. Such politicians are said to have "charisma".

To summarize, it must be said that imitating body language for a long time is very difficult. However, as we will see later, it is quite possible to learn to use positive signals and avoid negative ones in order to make the desired impression. This skill will make it easier for you to communicate with others. This is the goal set by the authors.

How to become a body language expert

Spend at least fifteen minutes a day learning body language. Observe other people, analyze your own gestures. You can observe in any place where people meet and communicate with each other. An ideal place for observation would be an airport, where you can see almost all human gestures. At the airport, people openly express anger, grief, happiness, impatience, joy and other emotions through body language. Watch people at business meetings and parties. By learning to understand body language signals, you can come to a party, hide in a corner and have a great time just watching other guests.

Modern man understands body language signals much worse than his primitive ancestors. He tries too hard to grasp the meaning of the words.

You can also learn body language with the help of television.

Turn off the sound and try to guess what is happening just by watching the picture. Turn on the sound every few minutes to test your guesses. We believe that very soon you will learn to watch entire programs without sound and perfectly understand the content. The deaf are masters of this art.

Learning to understand body language cues will allow you to immediately recognize attempts at manipulation and domination, and will also make you more sensitive to other people's feelings and emotions.

We are witnessing the flourishing of a new science - the science of body language. Someone likes to watch birds, their habits and behavior. And you will get the same pleasure from watching people. You will begin to observe others on the beaches, on TV screens, in offices, airports, shops. By observing other people, you will better understand yourself and be able to change your relationship with others for the better.

What is the difference between an observer and a peeping? Notepad and pens available.

Chapter 2
All in your palms

Using palms and handshakes to establish control

In ancient times, people opened their palms to show that they had no weapons in their hands.

On his first day at his new job, Adam wanted to make a good impression on his colleagues. When he was introduced to another employee, he vigorously shook his hand and smiled broadly. Adam's height is 190 cm. This is a handsome, well-dressed man who literally radiates success. Even as a child, his father taught him a strong handshake, and Adam retained this habit in adulthood. After his handshake, two employees bled under the rings. Even a few men felt pain in their palms. Some men began to compete with Adam in the strength of the handshake, which is completely natural. The women were forced to suffer in silence. Very soon, the employees began to avoid Adam, considering him a rude. It cannot be said that this did him any good, since the management of the company for the most part consisted of women.

We encounter hands and palms in everyday life and in speech almost constantly. Everything falls out of your hands, do not bite the hand that feeds you, wash your hands ...

Hands have played a very important role in human evolution. The brain is much more closely connected with the hands than with any other part of the body. Very few people are aware of the behavior of their own hands or the power of a handshake. And yet, it is these gestures that immediately make it clear whether we are talking about dominance, submissiveness or a power game. For centuries, open palms have been associated with honesty, truth, loyalty, and submission. When a person swears, the palm of one hand is applied to the heart, and the other is raised up. Witnesses in court place their left hand on the Bible, and open the palm of their raised right hand in the direction of the jury. In order to understand whether the interlocutor is honest with you, follow his palms. The dog, as a sign of humility and surrender to the mercy of the winner, exposes the throat to the opponent. People, on the other hand, display their palms in exactly the same way to show that they are not armed and do not pose any threat.

A submissive dog exposes his opponent's throat. People show their palms.

How to recognize openness and sincerity

Wanting to demonstrate their openness and honesty, people often open one or both palms in the direction of another person. Such a gesture may be accompanied by the words: “I didn’t do this!”, “I’m sorry to bother you,” “I’m telling the truth.” When a person wants to be sincere, he subconsciously opens his palms in front of the interlocutor. Like most body language signals, such a gesture is completely unconscious. The interlocutor immediately intuitively feels that he is being told the truth.

"Trust me - I'm a doctor!"

When children lie or try to hide something, they often hide their hands behind their backs. In the same way, a man who has spent a stormy night with friends, while talking to his wife, prefers to keep his hands in his pockets or crosses them over his chest. However, hidden palms immediately let the woman know that her husband does not reveal the whole truth to her. A woman trying to hide something will try to avoid an unpleasant topic and start a completely pointless conversation while doing various other things.

Open palms are used everywhere.

They immediately demonstrate openness and honesty

Salespeople are often taught to look at the palms of buyers when they are explaining why they are refusing to buy. The true reasons are always expressed with open palms. When a person honestly explains the reason, he calmly gestures with his hands. The one who is trying to hide his true motives can say almost the same thing, but at the same time he will try to hide his palms.

When men lie, their body language is absolutely obvious. When women lie, they prefer to look very busy and businesslike.

Hands in pockets - this is a typical trick of men who do not want to take part in the conversation. The palms are the vocal cords of body language. They "speak" more than any other part of the body. Hidden palms can be compared to a closed mouth.

Hands in pockets: Prince William makes it clear to reporters that he is not inclined to talk

Deliberately using the palms to deceive

We are sometimes asked: “If I lie, but at the same time I keep my palms in sight, will they believe me?” The answer to this question can be affirmative and at the same time negative. If you tell a deliberate lie and at the same time show open palms, then you will seem insincere to the interlocutor, because others will give you away micro gestures, which will come into conflict with open palms and supposedly honest words. Fraudsters and professional liars go to great lengths to match their nonverbal body signals with verbal lies. The more effectively a scammer uses body language, the better he is at deception.

"Will you love me when I'm old and gray?" she asks, holding up her palms. “Not only will I love you,” he replies. “I will even write to you.”

Law of Cause and Effect

By keeping your palms in plain sight during a conversation, you will be able to inspire confidence in the interlocutor and seem to him a more sincere and open person. Interestingly, when such a gesture becomes a habit, the tendency to deceive weakens. It is physically difficult for most people to lie when their palms are visible to the interlocutor. The law of cause and effect comes into play. If a person is sincere, he keeps his palms in plain sight. When the palms are in plain sight, it is very difficult for a person to lie convincingly. This is due to the close relationship between gestures and emotions. If, for example, you feel the need to defend yourself, then most likely cross your arms over your chest. But even if you just cross your arms over your chest without any ulterior motive, you almost immediately feel the desire to defend yourself. If you are talking with the interlocutor, holding your palms in sight, then you are unconsciously forcing him to tell the truth. In other words, open palms help prevent deception and encourage the other person to be sincere and open with you.

palm strength

People rarely pay attention to the position of the palm at the moment of indicating the direction, during the command and when shaking hands. However, these gestures are among the most expressive. The position of the palm in such cases can give a person strength and authority.

There are three basic palm command gestures: palm up, palm down, and palm with clenched fingers. The difference between these provisions is easy to see with an example. Let's say you ask someone to pick up a box and move it to another location. You say your request in the same tone, use the same words, do not change facial expressions. Only the position of your palm changes.

The hand, palm up, is a gesture of submission. It does not carry a threat, it reminds of the humiliated request of street beggars. From an evolutionary point of view, with this gesture you show that you do not have a weapon. A person who is addressed in this way does not feel pressure and threat. If you want someone to talk to you, you can use your hand, palm up, to show the other person that you are expecting a conversation and are ready to listen.

Over the centuries, the hand turned palm up has had a variety of meanings. There were such gestures as a hand raised in the air, or a hand pressed to the heart, and many others.

Palm up = no threat.

When the palm is turned down, you immediately emphasize your authority. The interlocutor will feel that you are giving him an order to move the box. Such a feeling can cause antagonism. However, this largely depends on your relationship with the interlocutor or your position on the career ladder.

By turning your hand from palm up to palm down, you can completely change the way others treat you.

If you are addressing a person equal in status to you, then a request made with the palm of your hand down, he may oppose. He will be more willing to respond to your proposal if you express it with your hand turned palm up. When speaking to a subordinate, the hand turned palm down will look quite appropriate, since your position allows it.

In the Nazi salute, the hand is turned palm down. It is a symbol of tyranny and power of the Third Reich. If Adolf Hitler had greeted the crowd by raising his hand, palm up, no one would have taken him seriously. They would just laugh at him.

Adolf Hitler uses one of the most powerful historical signals - the hand turned palm down

When spouses walk side by side, the dominant partner, usually a male, walks slightly ahead. His hand is in the upper position, palm facing down. The hand of a woman is most often turned forward. This situation will immediately tell the attentive observer who is in charge in this family.

A pointing gesture with clenched fingers is a normal fist. The index finger in such a gesture plays the role of a symbolic stick with which the speaker forces the interlocutors to submit. Such a gesture immediately causes subconscious negative feelings, since it precedes the blow. Most primates view it as a physical attack.

Index finger = "Do as I tell you!"

The pointing gesture with clenched fingers is one of the most annoying signals in a conversation, especially when used to draw attention to the speaker's words. In some countries, such as Malaysia and the Philippines, you can only point your finger at animals. If you point your finger at a person, you will inflict a mortal insult on him. Malaysians point at people and show direction with their thumbs.

A little experiment

We decided to do a little experiment. Eight lecturers were asked to use three hand gestures during ten-minute presentations to various audiences. We later recorded the attitude of listeners to the speakers. We found that speakers who predominantly used palm-up hand gestures were liked by 84% of the listeners. Those who turned their hand palm down were likable by 52% of the listeners. Least of all I liked those lecturers who used pointing gestures. Only 28% of listeners sympathized with them. Some even left the audience during the speech of such speakers.

The index finger evokes negative feelings in most listeners

The index finger not only causes the least amount of positive emotions. People are much worse at assimilating information accompanied by such a gesture. If such a gesture is familiar to you, try replacing it with turning your palm up or down, and you will immediately notice that those around you will treat your words more calmly and positively. If you press your fingers to your thumb, as if in an “OK” gesture, and accompany your speech with this gesture, you will be considered authoritative, but not aggressive. We taught this gesture to a number of speakers, politicians and businessmen, and then assessed the reaction of the audience to their speeches. Speakers who used such gestures were called "thinking", "purposeful" and "focused" by listeners.

Connecting your fingers in an “OK” gesture does not intimidate listeners

Speakers who used pointing gestures were called "aggressive", "arrogant" and "rude" by the same listeners. Not surprisingly, the information contained in such speeches almost eluded the audience. When a speaker points a finger directly at listeners, they focus on their own negative feelings towards him, and not on what he is talking about.

Handshake Analysis

The handshake has its roots in the deep past. When primitive people met in a peaceful environment, they showed their palms to each other to show that they did not hide any weapons. During Roman times, the habit of hiding a dagger in one's sleeve became so common that the Romans developed the waist-level wrist clasp as a common greeting.

Shaking the wrist at waist level is a demonstration of the absence of a hidden weapon. This is a typical Roman greeting.

Nowadays, shaking the wrist has evolved into a handshake. Such a gesture began to be used as early as the 19th century when concluding commercial transactions between people of equal status. It has become widespread only in the last century. Until recently, only men shook hands. In most European countries and in America, a handshake is a greeting and farewell in any official situation. Increasingly, the handshake was used at parties and social events. Today it is quite acceptable to shake hands with women.

A handshake sealed business deals between men.

Even in countries such as Japan, where bowing is the traditional greeting, or Thailand, where bowing is accompanied by an almost prayerful folding of the hands, today one can often encounter a simple handshake. In most countries, the hand is shaken five to seven times, but in some places, for example, in Germany, only two or three times, after which the hand is held for a time equivalent to two shakes. The French shake hands most of all - at every meeting and at every parting.

Who should give a hand first?

While it is customary in today's society to shake hands upon first meeting, in some circumstances, a handshake should not be initiated. Given that a handshake is a sign of trust and hospitality, you should first ask yourself a few questions. Are I welcome? Is this person happy to meet me, or am I forcing them to greet me? Sellers are well aware that by shaking hands with a buyer and doing it without warning and acquaintance, they cause a negative reaction in a person. A potential buyer may refuse a purchase if they feel they are being forced into a handshake. In such circumstances, it is better for the seller to wait until the buyer himself expresses a desire to shake his hand. If the buyer does not have such a desire, then it would be more appropriate to confine oneself to a friendly nod. In some countries, it is not customary to shake hands with women (in Muslim countries, for example, such an act is considered offensive; a slight nod is enough). However, recently the number of women who are ready to shake hands at a meeting or parting has been growing more and more. A firm handshake immediately demonstrates openness and makes a good impression.

How does the desire for control and dominance manifest itself?

Considering all that we have just said about the effect of a hand turned palm down or up, let's analyze the handshake.

During the time of the Roman Empire, noble Romans greeted each other with something like modern arm wrestling in a standing position. If one of the men was stronger than the other, his hand was on top. We will call this position - the hand on top.

Suppose you have just met a person and greet him with a handshake. At this time, you can feel the attitude of the interlocutor towards yourself and draw certain conclusions.

1. Dominance: “He's trying to get control of me. I should be careful."

2. Submission: “I can control this person. He will do what I want."

3. Equality: "It's easy and free for me with such a person."

Such signals are sent and received unconsciously, but immediately affect the outcome of the meeting. In the 1970s, we documented the impact of the handshake on human relationships and began teaching the skills in our workshops. With a little practice, you can dramatically change the way people treat you.

Dominance is conveyed by turning your arm (see striped sleeve drawing) so that the palm is turned down during the handshake. The palm does not have to be turned straight down, but your hand is still on top. Thus, you show the interlocutor that you are striving to gain control over the situation.

Establishing control

We surveyed 350 successful CEOs of large enterprises (89% of them were men) and found that almost all of them were the first to initiate the handshake. 88% of men and 31% of women positioned their hand in a dominant manner. Power and control mattered less to women, so only one in three business ladies placed their hand on top of the handshake. We also found that some women intentionally shake hands with men in a rather timid manner to mimic some semblance of submissiveness. Thus, they emphasized their femininity and made it clear that the desire for dominance was alien to them. However, in a business setting, such an approach can turn into a real disaster for a woman, because male partners will begin to pay attention to her feminine charms and will not take her seriously. Overly feminine ladies at business meetings are not taken seriously by either men or other women. And this is a scientifically confirmed fact, although our words do not sound too politically correct. We do not want to say at all that a business woman should be masculine. She just shouldn't send purely female signals. Do not wear short skirts and high heels, avoid timid handshakes. Only in this way can you achieve true equality.

Women who send overly feminine signals in a business setting lose credibility.

In 2001, William Chaplin of the University of Alabama conducted a study on handshakes and found that extroverts shake hands firmly and authoritatively, while timid, neurotic people never do. Chaplin also found that women who are open to new ideas shake hands with great energy. Men can shake hands firmly in any circumstance. Thus, it makes sense for women who aspire to occupy a worthy position in the business world to learn a firm handshake.

By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociological scientist, a specialist in the field of non-verbalism, appeared. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, so a non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He watches them at formal receptions, at the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost unbelievable that in over a million years of human evolution, non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only from the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on the non-verbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.

Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how they could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to predominate on the screen.

As for the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's "The Expression of the Emotions in Humans and Animals", published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and his observations are recognized by researchers today. all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.

Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (only words) by 7%, by sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and by non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person only speaks words for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence lasts no more than 2.5 seconds on average. Like Meyerabian, he found that less than 35% of the information in a conversation is verbal, and more than 65% of the information is conveyed through non-verbal means of communication.

Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a murderous look to a man, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and the movements that accompany them match with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell from their voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what voice a person is speaking by observing his gestures at the moment of speech.

It is difficult for many people to accept that man is, after all, a biological being. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says.

Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone has told a lie, we really mean that we have noticed a discrepancy between the body language and the words spoken by this person. Lecturers call this the feeling of the audience. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and arms crossed over their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that his message will not succeed. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to capture the smallest details. Therefore, few of the husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women involved in the upbringing of young children.

For the first few years, a mother relies solely on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.

Congenital, Genetic, Acquired and Cultural Signals.

Despite the fact that much research has been done, there are heated discussions about whether non-verbal signals are innate or acquired, whether they are transmitted genetically or acquired in some other way. Evidence comes from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn non-verbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.

The findings of these studies indicate that gestures are classifiable. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.

The German scientist Aibl-Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth manifests itself without any training or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Sorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied the facial expressions of people from five very different cultures. They found that people from different cultures used the same facial expressions when showing certain emotions, which led them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.

When you cross your arms over your chest, do you cross your right hand over your left, or your left over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done so. In one case they will feel comfortable, in the other case not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.

There is also controversy over whether some gestures are acquired and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coats starting from the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coats from the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually walks away, turning away from him. Does she do it instinctively, protecting her breasts? Is this an innate gesture of a woman, or has she learned it unconsciously from watching other women?