Outcasts or the collective. Interpersonal relationships in a team

I am 19 years old and I study at the University. It has always been difficult for me to connect with people. But it’s impossible to say that I don’t know how to do this: I have friends whom I met at master classes in my profession, I have friends at work, I have online friends, I communicate with several girls from other faculties.
At school, I was an outcast from grades 1 to 11, from grades 1 to 9 I didn’t even know what a friendly relationship was. I thought it was my own fault. Then I went to several circles, then to preparatory courses, the situation gradually improved. I realized that I can be friends. I thought that when I finished school, the outcast would end.
But I entered the University - and it began! At first everything was fine, the girls and I walked together to the subway, walked. They called me several times somewhere - I refused. From the first day it was clear that we had a complete mismatch of interests. I am interested in studies and a future career, and they want to take a walk. One girl tried to get me into fashion clothes, but I'm not interested in clothes. They talk about guys, about sex, about a wedding, about a future family, and I have a career in 1st place. They love to shop, but I don't.
I don't remember when it started. I don't remember how it started. I think it started gradually. But by the end of the 1st course, they stupidly ignored me, didn’t invite me to birthday parties, didn’t like my photos. I can't ask anyone for notes. They make stupid claims to me: "Don't ask questions, you're bothering us!" or “Don’t look for a teacher if 40 minutes or more have passed! They laugh at me openly, not particularly embarrassed by my presence. And in general, when I am silent, I am an empty place for them!
Maybe the problem is me? Maybe I provoke them? But I want to correct my guilt! And if not me, then who is to blame?
Unfortunately, you won't be able to make friends with them. But what to do? How to maintain neutrality? And how not to become an outcast in the next team?

Hello Olga!
Who do you want to be in the next team? Do you want to communicate with people? Do you want to communicate with those who are very different from you and do not share your values? By the intonation of your letter, one gets the feeling that you feel like a higher-class being than your classmates. You are interested in studying and career - that's what they go to university for; and girls are more concerned about personal life and realization in relationships and in the family.
If for you the passion for shopping is a sign of underdevelopment, then why is the sympathy and location of underdeveloped creatures important to you? There seems to be some sort of internal contradiction here. On the one hand, you feel that your behavior is more reasonable and correct, on the other hand, like any person (people are social beings), you need communication, understanding, and friendships. Neutrality is a compromise between these conflicting motives, and I don't think it will really satisfy your needs for companionship and recognition. Working with a psychologist will help you resolve this contradiction.

Sincerely, Elena Livach, psychologist, St. Petersburg.

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Olga, you need to choose this team FOR YOURSELF, and not build yourself for the team. I agree that it is difficult to choose the entire team at the university. But it will be easier to do this later at work, choosing a company, among other things, according to WHO works there, if you put yourself and your needs in the center, and not the "social order" of other people.

And now - I'm more than sure that there are a couple of "white crows" at your faculty. They are always there - take a closer look. Why are you trying to fit in with a group of "ordinary" girls? Find the same "outcasts" - they will most likely turn out to be much more interesting to you than the "majority".

But for some reason you are trying to adapt precisely to this majority. Apparently, you are not completely sure that "everything is in order" with you? And for some reason you feel guilty for not being liked by the majority. Should they? Who and when told you that you should be "rated" by the majority, and only then will you be considered "socially fit"? This is not true. Read this training, there are many answers to your questions:

http://psyhelp24.ru/kak-zavodit-dryzei/

Sincerely, Nesvitsky Anton Mikhailovich, psychologist St. Petersburg

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Hello Olga.

The problem of your peculiar role in the team that you write about is very serious. And this problem, based on your letter, has existed for a long time. One thing is for sure - without noticing it yourself, you are doing something, somehow provoking others, that such an attitude towards you arises again. Apparently you are used to just such a role in the team. Why? There can be many reasons for this and this needs to be seriously understood.
You ask what to do, how not to become an outcast in the next team? It is impossible to give an answer and a universal recommendation right away, so that the problem does not become in an instant. I think that if you determine for yourself that you need to solve this problem, then you should talk with a specialist psychologist. Then it will be possible not only to understand the reasons, to avoid a similar situation in the following teams, but also to change your current relations at the University.

Sincerely, psychologist Alexei Bogintsev (St. Petersburg)

Good answer 1 bad answer 3

Most likely this is a consequence of emotional trauma, due to which a barrier has been established between you and other people. At an unconscious level, a decision was made to keep a distance from other people, most likely for protection.

You can remove it anyway. It may take only 1-2 sessions with a specialist, or maybe much more, it all depends on the depth of the problem and how it was formed. Was there a single unpleasant incident that led to such a result - or is it a systematic pattern of interacting with loved ones that originated very early.

From practical advice - master the EMDR method - the information is on the Internet, and work through your unpleasant states using this method. There is also a rather exotic method described in books on EFT by Harry Craig and Fred Gallo.

I will conduct a reception in St. Petersburg on December 7-8 - you can contact me. Even for 1-2 times you can achieve significant success, up to the complete elimination of the problem. As I said, it depends a lot on the circumstances - but it will become easier in any case. My phone number is on my page on the site.

In any case, I wish you success.

Goloshchapov Andrey Viktorovich, psychologist Saratov

Good answer 2 bad answer 1

36 interpersonal relationships in a group

The system of interpersonal relations includes a set of likes and dislikes, preferences and rejections of all members of the group.

sociometric status

Each individual in the group has a sociometric status, which can be defined as the sum of preferences and rejections received from other members. Sociometric status can be higher or lower depending on what feelings other members of the group experience in relation to this subject - positive or negative. The totality of all statuses defines status hierarchy in the group.

The highest status are the so-called sociometric stars- members of the group having the maximum number of positive choices with a small number of negative choices. These are the people to whom the sympathy of the majority, or at least many, of the members of the group is directed.

Next come high-status, middle-status and low-status group members defined by the number of positive choices and not having a large number of negative choices. There are groups in which there are no sociometric stars, but only high, medium, low status.

At a lower level of intergroup relations are isolated- subjects that do not have any choices, both positive and negative. The position of an isolated person in a group is one of the most unfavorable.

Outcasts are those members of the group who have a large number of negative choices and a small number of preferences. At the last rung of the hierarchical ladder of social preferences are neglected or outcast- members of the group who do not have a single positive choice in the presence of negative ones.

Often the position of a sociometric star is considered as a position of a leader. This is not entirely true, since leadership is associated with intervention in the process of action, and sociometric status is determined by feelings. It is possible to meet subjects who are both sociometric stars and leaders, but this combination is rare. A person often loses the sympathy of others, becoming a leader. A sociometric star causes a good attitude, primarily because other people feel psychologically comfortable in the presence of this person. As for the leader, his socio-psychological function is connected with management.

The problem of combining a leader and a sociometric star in one person is extremely acute both for the individual and for the group as a whole. Sometimes, in critical social situations, this can provoke some tendencies of fanatical behavior of group members. In an ordinary family, roles can be distributed as follows: the father is the leader, the mother is the sociometric star. The high-status, middle-status, and low-status members of a group usually make up the majority.

Isolated, rejected and neglected members of the group are at risk according to the criteria of interpersonal relationships. Particular attention should be paid to the position of the isolated person. In many cases, it turns out to be more unfavorable than the position of the outcast or even the neglected. A negative attitude towards a person in a group is a more favorable social factor than the absence of any attitude, since a negative incentive is better than its absence. Sometimes the transition of a person from a position of neglect to a position of isolation is considered a great punishment. The phenomenon of boycott influence is known - the termination of relations with a person, the lack of response to his words and deeds and the manifestations of various feelings towards him. With a boycott, a person finds himself not in the position of the neglected, to whom the negative feelings of those around him are directed, but in the position of the isolated, to which those around him are completely indifferent. Changing the sociometric status of a group member is an important issue. A person's status is often a relatively stable quantity. However, from the point of view of personality development, the immutability of the sociometric status is considered as a risk factor, even if it is a high status.

The need to change the sociometric status dictated by human needs to develop flexible behavioral strategies for social adaptation in different groups. Therefore, it is advisable to go through the various statuses. The complexity of the problem also lies in the fact that people perceive and relate to their status differently. Most have an idea of what status they hold in the primary group. Average-status members of the group, as a rule, perceive their position adequately. But the extreme status categories, due to the action of psychological defenses, often perceive the attitudes of other people towards themselves inadequately. Most often it is sociometric stars and neglected members of the group who are not aware of their position in the system of interpersonal relations in the group.

The stability of sociometric status is determined by many factors, among which are the following:

appearance (physical attractiveness, the leading modality of facial expressions, appearance design, non-verbal language);

success in leading activities;

some character traits and temperament(tolerance, sociability, goodwill, low anxiety, stability of the nervous system, etc.);

correspondence of the values of the individual to the values of the group of which he is a member;

position in other social groups.

To change the status of a person in a group, sometimes it is enough just to work with one or another status factor.

Reciprocity of emotional preferences

Knowledge of the sociometric status does not provide complete information about the position of a person in the system of interpersonal relations. It is necessary to know about such a phenomenon as reciprocity of emotional preferences group members. Even a sociometric star will feel disadvantaged if her choice is not reciprocated. Conversely, a neglected member of the group may feel quite well if his choice was mutual. The more mutual choices a group member has, the more stable and favorable his position in the system of interpersonal relations will be. Groups differ considerably in the reciprocity of the choice of their members. If there are few mutual choices in the group, then there will be a weak coordination of actions and emotional dissatisfaction of its members with interpersonal relationships.

Interpersonal relationships in a group include relationships of interpersonal preference.

small group is divided into microgroups, and the larger the small group, the greater the number of microgroups in it. Each microgroup has its own sociometric structure. Often a microgroup is a group of friends with common interests. Sometimes the association of people into microgroups can be caused by other reasons, for example, belonging to a certain social stratum, etc.

Revealing the rejection system in a group is necessary to predict its actions in a situation conflict. Rejections in a group can be grouped into three types.

The first type is normative, indicating the well-being of relations in general, when rejections are not pronounced, there are no persons who received a large number of negative choices, and all rejections are distributed relatively evenly. There are no people whose rejections would prevail over preferences.

The second type is the polarization of rejections, in which two main microgroups are distinguished that reject each other.

The third type is the most unfavorable for the group, when there will be only one outcast, acting as a defendant for all misunderstandings, the so-called "switchman". Sometimes in a group, a negative attitude towards one person on the part of the majority can be quite justified. However, such cases are considered exceptional. If the group always chooses the switchman, then we can conclude that the nature of interpersonal relations in it is unfavorable. Even if the rejected person leaves the group, a new "guilty" person will be found for the appropriate role.

Group habits in the system of interpersonal relations are formed in the same way as any other group actions.

Habit refers to a form of social control and directs the behavior of specific individuals and the group as a whole.

The most important characteristics of the system of intragroup preferences are: sociometric status, reciprocity of choice, the presence of stable groups of interpersonal preferences, and a system of rejections. Despite the equal importance of all characteristics, special attention is paid to the status of the subject. This is due to the fact that, firstly, the status has a relative social stability, and the subject often transfers it from one group to another. Secondly, it is the dynamics of the status hierarchy that entails the corresponding changes in the system of rejections and relations between microgroups. In addition, a person's understanding of his status in the system of interpersonal relations has a significant impact on the self-esteem of the individual.

In the context of the process of group pressure, one usually speaks of conformity, which is understood as behavior individual in relation to the position of the group, the measure of his "submission" to group pressure, his acceptance or rejection of group norms and rules. The opposite concepts of conformity are independence of behavior, independence of views, resistance to group pressure, etc.

Conformity manifests itself most prominently in conditions of open conflict between the opinions of the group and the individual. The extent to which the individual is ready to follow the opinion of the group (even if it is obviously wrong), and determines the degree of its conformity.

The mechanism of group pressure was clearly demonstrated in the well-known experiments of S. Ash. A group of subjects of 7-9 people who were in a common room were asked to compare two cards proposed by the experimenter. On one card there was one vertical line, on the other - three, but of different lengths. One of the lines on the second card was identical to the one on the first.

The difference in the length of the three lines was quite obvious and, acting independently (outside the group), only one percent of the subjects could occasionally make a mistake in identifying the lines. In accordance with the instructions, the subject had to say out loud which of the three lines on the second card corresponded to the line shown on the first card.

Ash wondered what would happen if all members of the group began to give incorrect answers, if in this case group pressure could force an ignorant (i.e. unaware that the group deliberately distorts their estimates) subject to change his mind. The procedure was designed in such a way that in each of the groups there was only one ignorant subject and his turn to answer the question of the experimenter was the last.

The experiment began with several trial series. Here, all subjects gave the correct answers. Only after that the first subject, and after him all the others, began to give an obvious wrong answer. The “naive” subject was the last to answer, and the experimenter got the opportunity to check whether he would “stand” in his own, completely correct opinion or “succumb” to the pressure of the group. The uninformed subject thus faced a dilemma: either believe his own eyes and give an obvious and correct answer, or, following the opinion, say what everyone says.

Numerous experiments conducted by Ash showed that about 35% of the subjects demonstrated conformal behavior, i.e. preferred the obvious truth to agree with the group, i.e. every third gave a deliberately false answer, unable to resist the consensus omnium. In subsequent interviews, all subjects, including those who did not succumb to group pressure, reported that the opinion of the majority had a very strong effect on them, causing even the "persistent" to doubt the correctness of their answers. It is curious that, as a rule, the subjects associated their conformity not with objective processes within the group, but exclusively with their personal characteristics.

Intra-group conflicts The parties to an intra-group conflict are either individual members of the group, or individual groups within it, or a member of the group and the rest of it. The main criterion for the presence of an intragroup conflict is the destruction of intragroup ties. The main positive functions of such conflicts are those that do not affect the foundations of the existence of the group, contributing only to the reorientation of norms and relations according to the need that has arisen.

The conflict within the group can be a mechanism for the transformation of norms in relation to new conditions. Conflicts often lead to the creation of associations and coalitions within groups, which ensures interaction between members of the entire association, reduces isolation, creates the ground for the implementation of individual activity of group members Donchenko, E.A. Personality: conflict, harmony. / E.A. Donchenko, T.A. Titarenko - Kyiv, 1989 - P.48-55.

The most important factor determining the frequency of conflicts in groups is the general level of tension in which a person or group exists. Whether a particular event will lead to conflict depends crucially on the level of tension or social atmosphere in the group.

The main causes of most conflicts in groups, including organizations, are the distribution of resources, which are always limited; the interdependence of the tasks of a person or group; differences in goals, ideas and values, in behavior and life experience; and poor communications.

Every conflict has its consequences. Thus, several functional consequences of the conflict are possible. One of them is that the problem can be solved in a way that is acceptable to all parties, and as a result, people will feel more involved in solving this problem. This, in turn, minimizes or completely eliminates the difficulties in implementing decisions - hostility, injustice and compulsion to act against one's will. Another functional consequence is that the parties will be more willing to cooperate rather than antagonize in future situations that may be fraught with conflict. In addition, conflict can reduce the possibility of groupthink and submissiveness syndrome, when subordinates do not express ideas that they believe do not correspond to the ideas of their leaders. Through conflicts, team members can work through performance issues before the solution is even implemented.

On the other hand, it is difficult to avoid dysfunctional consequences: dissatisfaction, less cooperation in the future, strong loyalty to one's group and more unproductive competition with other groups, perception of the other side as an "enemy", curtailment of interaction and communication between conflicting parties, increased hostility between conflicting parties, a shift in emphasis: giving more importance to "winning" the conflict than solving the real problem.

"Problems of rejection in the children's team"

Tolochko Elena,

YaNAO, Nadym,

MOU "Secondary school No. 2 of Nadym", grade 11

annotation

The need for communication with peers is determined by the specific genetic program of human development. With age, the need for peers is steadily increasing. In every children's team there are popular children and not so. There are active, sociable children, and there are quiet, loners. Some children are so eager to be in the center of attention of their classmates, to take a leadership position, not knowing how to behave at the same time, choosing inadequate ways of behavior, that they seek attention "with a minus sign" - they become an object of ridicule and contempt.

Ostracism is present in all children's groups, even in the younger groups of the kindergarten. Most often, outcasts are children with poor social skills or suffering from some kind of physical disability - "not like everyone else." At the same time, the question of what personality traits are provocative and prevent a child from becoming one of his own has been studied very little. How to avoid bullying from classmates and what to do if they reject?

aim

tasks

The study of literature, articles on the Internet and the questioning of students made it possible to put forward hypothesis

object

Subject studies have become children's opinions about their peers rejected by them.

base studies are students of the MOU "Secondary School No. 2 of Nadym" from 9 to 17 years old.

Conclusion: the problem of the situation of rejection exists both among those who are rejected and those who reject.

I	Introduction………………………………………………………………………	1
II	Theoretical and psychological aspects of the problem of rejection.....	3
2.1	Studying the causes of rejection…………………………………………..	5
2.2	Types of rejected children ……………………………………………….......	7
2.3	Consequences of rejection………………………………………………………	8
III	Conclusion…………………………………………………………………..	9
IV	Bibliography……………………………………………………….…	10
V	Application…………………………………………………………………	11

"The problem of rejection in the children's team"

Tolochko Elena,

YaNAO, Nadym,

MOU "Secondary school No. 2 of Nadym", grade 11

Introduction

We want to ask the society

Is it easy to be rejected?

But life's conclusions are simple ...

You can also become an outcast.

Valova G.V.

When we begin to talk about "worldly society," we must proceed from the fundamental spiritual principle that a person lives on earth in order to become an angel in eternity; the aggregate of angels forms Heaven; Consequently, each of us is meant to be part of(grain, atom) of this immense universal whole; therefore, our eternal life will not be spent alone, but in the company of other angels, where each performs his proper function for the benefit of his neighbors, his angelic society, and, finally, all Heaven as a whole. That's why man was created to live in society - but not in any, but in a society of his own kind, and this is a caveat that people almost always forget.

The need for communication with peers is determined by the specific genetic program of human development. With age, this need, especially from 4-5 years old, is steadily increasing. In every children's team there are popular children and not very popular ones, there are active, sociable, and there are quiet, loners. Some are satisfied with a secondary role in the class, others suffer from such a situation, and do not know and do not know how to change it. Some children are so eager to be in the center of attention of classmates, to take a leadership position, that they seek attention "with a minus sign" – become the object of ridicule and contempt.

Ostracism is present in all children's groups, even in the younger groups of the kindergarten. According to statistics, every 5th child in the team is a loner, every 3rd one tries to change his status in society and takes various ways to gain the respect of others, and every second child who was rejected by his peers resigns himself to his fate and tries to remain in the status loners.

In all cases of rejection, the problems lie not only in the team, but also in the characteristics of the individual, the behavior of the rejected. Research by psychologist Rosalind Weissman shows that bullying is primarily triggered by the victim's provocative behavior. Most often, outcasts are children with poor social skills or suffering from some kind of physical disability - "not like everyone else." The second reason most often leading to isolation is the aggressiveness of the child. However, very little research has been done on the question of what kind personality traits are provocative. Does age affect reason rejection? How avoid bullying from classmates what what to do if rejected?

aim This work is to study the psychological aspects of the problem of rejection in the children's team.

The skill of collectivism is the most important quality, without which a person cannot live normally in society. After all, on how strong and strong the collective charge

in the personality, his whole future life depends both in the family and in the student (labor) team.

This target setting predetermined tasks research and the content structure of the work itself:

to determine the psychological aspects of the problem of rejection in the children's team;
study the methodology of sociometric survey;
reveal the causes and consequences of ostracism, analyze the relevance of this problem among the rejected;
create a bank of exercises and games for team building.

Own observations, the study of literature, Internet articles and the questioning of students made it possible to put forward hypothesis : the causes and consequences of rejecting a child depend on the rejected person and his provoking behavior.

object studies are personality traits with low social status in the team.

Subject research - children's opinions about rejected peers.

Base research - students of the MOU "Secondary School No. 2
Nadym" from 9 to 17 years.

Research methods - observations, psychodiagnostics (questionnaire survey); data processing (qualitative and quantitative analysis).

practical significance We see our work in generalizing the features of ostracism in the children's team, in revealing the reasons for rejection at various age stages and in creating preventive recommendations.

II. Theoretical and psychological aspects of the problem of rejection

Biographies of famous people, examples from fiction, own observations suggest that any children's team has its own outcasts. In every person there lives such a feeling as rejection. We reject someone or someone rejects us. Almost always people reject each other forcibly (resentment, withdrawal, closeness from others and secrecy).

In the psychological dictionary rejection is a psychological syndrome that develops in adolescence and manifests itself in a hostile attitude
in relation to society, deviant behavior, gross violations of communication as
with adults as well as with peers. The basis for the formation of rejection is often social disorientation. The interpersonal situation of development in case of rejection is determined by the opposition of a teenager to society, covering all the main life spheres: family, school, educational, communicative. The confrontation is active and mutual. The psychological profile with rejection is characterized by the idea of an unfair structure of the world and the self-consciousness of an outcast rejected by society. rejection - "a pronounced psychopathic psychological syndrome that seriously disrupts the social adaptation of a teenager"
(A.L. Wenger).

From a very young age, the child begins to reach out to communicate with peers. Emotional exchange in play and communication, and closer to school age, the establishment of stable friendly attachments allows the child to solve important developmental tasks: to master communication skills, to explore himself and his own characteristics, opportunities, to receive recognition from others. At school age, when a child begins to form conscious ideas about himself, "feedback" from peers, their reaction to it becomes one of the factors of self-esteem. The child also begins to feel the need for affection, community and understanding not only with parents, but also with friends. But in the lives of many children there are situations when they feel

not accepted in the team and are deeply affected by either hostile or indifferent attitude towards themselves on the part of the group of peers, and this is confirmed by our psychological study.

In total, the study involved 267 people: 124 people - schoolchildren 9-10 years old; 88 people - schoolchildren aged 11-14; 55 people are schoolchildren aged 15-17 (Table 1).

Table 1

resultsstudy of social status in class groups

Class/ number of respondents		Class/ number of respondents	Number of children with signs of rejection	Class/ number of respondents	Number of children with signs of rejection
2a - 25	1 - rejected, 6 – partially rejected, 2 – ignored	6a - 25	2 - rejected, 1 - partially rejected, 3 - ignored	9g - 19	1 - rejected, 1 – partially rejected, 2 – ignored
2b - 25	0 - rejected, 1 - partially rejected, 10 - ignored	6c - 13	1 - rejected 0 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored	10a - 15	1 - rejected, 5 – partially rejected, 0 – ignored
3b - 16	0 - rejected, 1 - partially rejected, 3 - ignored	6g - 9	0 - rejected 3 - partially rejected, 1 - ignored	10b - 21	0 - rejected, 5 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored
4b - 21	1 - rejected, 2 - partially rejected, 5 - ignored	7a - 23	2 - rejected 5 - partially rejected, 1 - ignored
5a - 14	2 - rejected, 1 – partially rejected, 1 – ignored	7b - 18	1 - rejected, 3 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored
5b - 23	1 - rejected, 3 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored
Total 124	5 - rejected, 14 - partially rejected, 21 - ignored	Total 88	6 - rejected, 12 - partially rejected, 5 - ignored	Total 55	2 - rejected, 11 - partially rejected, 0 - ignored

Conclusion: In the study groups, most participants have a more or less favorable status. The average level of relationship well-being means the well-being of team members in the system of interpersonal relations, their satisfaction in communication, recognition by peers. Studies show the presence in each classroom team, on average, 1-2 leaders, 5-6 ignored and partially rejected. Analyzing the results of social status, we came to the conclusion that in the middle school age there are more ignored and rejected than in the senior,
but less than in the younger. This suggests that, compared with the junior team, adolescent teams are much better structured, the existing system of relations is more stable and constant.

2.1 Exploring the causes of rejection

According to many psychological studies, a child can be rejected by peers for various reasons:

External untidiness. In people with physical disabilities, this problem is worth
at the first place. Such people are rejected not only by the society in which they live, they also reject themselves. Many people with physical disabilities are closed, their world is closed. And as a result - such people remain lonely for life. The thought that no one needs them corrodes them from the inside, and this is ordinary self-pity, which turns into chronic rejection.
Ignorancestereotypes and unspoken rules specifically for children's communication, adopted
in this community. Children who have grown up among adults and spend virtually all their lives among them are sometimes unfamiliar even with the vocabulary and terminology used by their peers, and literally cannot find a common language with them.
Disorientationin social relationships. The child does not understand the correlation of social roles in the team, it is not clear to him why it is not always possible to express his opinion, he sees no reason to follow the orders of the "leader" and, most importantly, has no idea what it threatens him with. And when ridicule or aggression falls upon him, he does not catch the connection between his actions and the reaction of the children around him. It's just a lack of social experience.

The lack of social experience, combined with such character traits that prevent its accumulation (shyness or aggressiveness), leads to a lack of gaming experience and, as a result, to rejection.

Gap in family education. A child who is not accepted into the game calls
parents have only irritation, even some shame for him. Often the parent's reaction
on the child's failures in communication - this is care and avoidance of a problem situation. They take him away from the company that did not accept him home, where there are toys, books, a computer, coloring books, mom - only there are no friends there, and it will never be as fun as playing together.

So it turns out that the child does not know how to play, does not understand a partner, all the time confuses role-playing and real relationships and statements, takes offense at them. There is a game
and social immaturity, unwillingness to play together. But the rest to teach him
they won’t, the law here is simple: if you don’t know how, leave.

In 1981 American psychologists Achenbach and Edelbrock conducted a study, the results of which showed that the reasons for rejection can be:

significant cultural, social, national differences between the child
and surroundings;
low self-esteem, expectation of rejection by others;
insufficiently developed social skills;
reproduction of the victim's behavior model;
spontaneity and impulsivity.

Understanding the reasons for the rejection and isolation of individual members of the group requires a systematic psychological analysis. It is important to understand what is the root cause:
in certain personal characteristics of a person, features and traditions of family life, low self-esteem caused by negative past communication experience, etc.

Exploring this aspect, we developed a questionnaire and interviewed 260 people: 70 people - schoolchildren 9-10 years old; 76 people - schoolchildren aged 11-14; 64 people are schoolchildren aged 15-17, 50 are adults (Table 2).

table 2

about the reasons for the rejection of the individual in the team

Questions	Answers
Questions	Pupils 9-10 years old	Pupils 11-14 years old	Pupils 15-17 years old	adults
Are there people in your team with whom you do not want to communicate?	Yes - 70 (100%) No - 0	Yes - 70 (92%) No - 6 (8%)	Yes - 58 (91%) No - 6 (9%)	Yes - 42 (84%) No - 8 (12%)
What turns you off in them?	19	14	9
Appearance	19	14	9
Poor academic performance	26	10	4
Behavior	35	39
Individual characteristics	-
Life position	-	6	27	16
Passivity	-		42	22
Aggression, anger		13		28
What would you suggest to them to change in themselves?	Behavior, Attitude towards learning	Character, style, behavior, be more fun lie less,	To be easier attitude towards people be more patient To be youreself, character, interests.	attitude towards people self attitude, become confident.

Conclusion: The older the age, the greater the differences between one and the other reasons for rejection. It was revealed that the internal need for communication, the motives of affiliation
(from the English afiliation - connection, connection) - the desire to be in the company of other people, a person's need to create warm, emotionally significant relationships with other people.), psychological defenses determine the specifics of interpersonal communication. All these phenomena are interconnected, have a gender determination and dynamically change with age.

So, for example, in the age category from 9 to 10 years and from 11 to 14, behavior, poor academic performance and external data dominate.

An analysis of the results of the causes of rejection and isolation of the older age group indicates the relevance of the life position and vital activity.

Respondents of the "adult" group confirm the importance of the personal "I-concept", adequate self-esteem. It can be argued that the reasons for rejection are related

with age-specific individual characteristics and depend on the dominant type of activity.

2.2 Types of rejectedchildren

Observations of rejected children show that they themselves do a lot to become victims of attacks. As already mentioned, they can be intrusive, inadequate, easily succumb to the provocations of classmates, give out the expected reactions. Naturally, it is interesting to offend someone who rushes with his fists

on those around him after any innocent remark addressed to him, who starts to cry if he is teased a little, etc. (Attachment 1)

In any group, at any age level, there is a social situation of development in which everyone, playing his role, chooses the tactics of behavior. It is important to realize possible mistakes in behavior at different age stages in order to correct them. The results of the survey of respondents are shown in Table 3.

Table 3

The result of a survey of respondents of different age groups
about the characteristics of rejected people

Questions

Answers

Pupils
9-10 years old

Pupils
11-14 years old

Pupils
15-17 years old

adults

What kind of people do you not communicate with?

With classmates who are sneaking around

tease

study poorly,

does not listen to the teacher.

With classmates who are bored,

not interested,

who are very smart

not like everyone else, humiliate others,

who have bad behavior.

With classmates who have different interests, who

uncommunicative,

inactive,

closed

selfish, arrogant..

With the arrogant

not reliable, which can be called weak,

callous, cruel, liars, traitors.

Conclusion: Rejection is a relationship barometer, not how people treat you, but how you treat people yourself. You will not be rejected by other people and lonely if you learn to be an interesting, smart and funny person, learn to be compassionate and communicate, change your behavior and learn to respect others and yourself.
2.3 Consequences of rejection

The desire to become one's own in the team, to win the respect of classmates can push the child to obscene acts. The rejected person is able to come up with anything to attract attention to himself. He boasts of non-existent relatives, they invent their relationship with some famous person. In most cases, others require proof, and the child begins to "get out", he has to lie more and more, and he is completely confused.

The lack of social recognition and communication is compensated by the search for an out-of-school circle of peers, which is characterized by illegal behavior. Bad relationships in the classroom lead to various negative consequences. The absence of peer society has a negative impact on the development of communication skills and self-awareness of the individual.

In addition, the difficulty of relationships with peers that appeared in childhood is often a harbinger of emotional distress in the future. At the same time, outcast children often develop psychological trauma, and academic performance falls. Research by Professor Eric S. Buhs has shown that:

children who are rejected by the collective in the kindergarten are also ostracized at school;
children between the ages of 5 and 11 who are rejected by their peers receive lower scores on academic tests than their classmates. Their performance in subjects such as reading and arithmetic leaves much to be desired.

Bullying causes irreparable damage to the psyche of the victim. Bad relationships with classmates can cause poor academic performance, unwillingness to attend school, the child may develop various neurotic and even mental disorders. Outcasts are aggressive, uncooperative, destructive, and often unable to control strong feelings. They begin to interrupt their playmates, skip turns in conversation, and become less empathetic towards their peers.

The worst thing is that regular bullying (Appendix 2) can provoke a suicide attempt or an attempt on one of the persecutors. Problems in communicating with peers, rejection at an early age later manifests itself in delinquency, or emotional disturbance.

No less harmful is the situation of harassment affecting the psyche of persecutors and observers. They run the risk of remaining weak-willed pawns in the hands of the stronger and more enterprising. And the decision made under the influence of the majority, contrary to the voice of conscience, and the constant fear of being in the place of the victim contribute to a decrease in self-esteem, a loss of self-respect.

Of practical interest is the question of group members' perception of their status, that is, their objective position in the system of group preferences.

In total, 240 people took part in the study: 50 people - schoolchildren 9-10 years old; 90 people - schoolchildren aged 11-14; 70 people are schoolchildren aged 15-17, 30 are adults.

Table 4

Questions	Answers
Questions	Pupils 9-10 years old	Pupils 11-14 years old	Pupils 15-17 years old	adults
Do you feel excluded from the team?	Yes - 12 (24%) No - 38 (76%)	Yes - 65 (72%) No - 25 (28%)	Yes - 32 (46%) No - 38 (54%)	Yes - 0 (-%) No - 30 (100%)
Would you be able to befriend him if he changed?	Yes - 56 (80%), No - 14 (20%)	Yes - 47 (62%), No - 29 (38%)	Yes - 18 (28%), No - 46 (72%)	Yes - 9 (18%), I don't know - 34 (68%), No - 7 (14%)

Conclusion: the least adequate perception and assessment of their group role are the extreme status categories: "stars", on the one hand, "outcasts" and isolated ones, on the other. Average-status people often have inadequate perception, which is explained by protection, low social reflection and low self-esteem.
IIIConclusion

There are different children, with different needs for communication. For one, a single friend is enough, with whom they see once a week, so as not to feel lonely and proudly considers: "I have a friend." And it’s bad for another if around him

a whole noisy company does not swirl, where everyone obeys his word and even gesture.

In those children who are not perceived by their peers, there is always something that can alienate others, provoke attacks from them. Rejected children are not like the rest, most often children with obvious problems in behavior and character become rejected. The situation of rejection is conditioned by two positions of the one who rejects and the one who is rejected.

In the first case, the rejection of the position of the other arises due to the low plasticity of communicative functions in certain age periods and due to an unresolved intrapersonal conflict between the conscious and the subconscious, between the "I-real" and "I-ideal" (which you accuse of guilty).

Position failure rejected due to its negative social and ego-identification (difficulties in finding one's "I": "I" - physical, "I" - mental, "I" - social, etc.).

Our hypothesis: causes and consequences of child rejection depend on
from the most rejected and its provocative behavior in During the course of the study, it was fully confirmed: the outcasts were primarily children who had poorly formed self-esteem and communication skills.

In addition, research has shown the presence of other causes of the situation of rejection: problems in the failure of the personality of those who reject. They made accusations

in dullness, uninterestingness, aggressiveness, conflict and others, that is, in those qualities that are the causes of their intrapersonal conflict between the conscious and the unworked subconscious.

It can be concluded that the problem of the situation of rejection exists both among the rejected and

and those who reject. Therefore, our recommendations will be addressed to both the first and
and to the second group of opponents.

Bibliography

Akimova G.E., How to help your child: A guide for caring parents. - Yekaterinburg: U-Fraktory, 2004;
Zavyalova N.A. Your children are among peers. - M .: Knowledge, 1981;
Zimbardo F., Leippe M. Social influence - St. Petersburg: Piter Publishing House, 2004 reasons for rejection:
Popov V.S. Soul awakening. - M.: Knowledge, 1990;
Starobinsky E.E., “How to manage a team”, - M .: 1995
Helen Bee Development of the child. – 9 edition. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2004
Chufarovsky Yu.V. Psychology of communication in the formation and formation of personality. - M., 2002.
Schneider L.B. Identification. Reader - M .: Publishing house of the Moscow Psychological and Social Institute; Voronezh: NPO MODEK Publishing House, 2003.
www.gorod-psy.ru
www.abcwoman.ru
www.effecton.ru
www.michaelglebov.ru Mikhail Glebov Relations between the team and the individual
http://adalin.mospsy.ru Outcast children: psychological work with the problem

Attachment 1

Types of rejected children who are most often attacked.

"Beloved". Janusz Korczak wrote: “Children do not like those peers who are singled out by teachers. Especially if they can't figure out why "favorite" is better than them." Adults, knowing about the difficult fate of their ward, pity and take under their protection and patronage, thereby dooming them to complete loneliness and endless insults from classmates who do not know the reason for such an attitude towards him.
"Stuck." American psychologist Violet Oaklander believes that such importunity is the result of a child's feeling of insecurity. Such children literally hang on people, grabbing them physically in order to feel more secure.
"Jester". A child who has chosen such a tactic of behavior, as it were, prevents attacks from others. He is no longer taken seriously and therefore is not particularly offended. Such a child, even hearing the laughter of peers, does not feel lonely.

The literature describes two more types of children whom no one specifically offends,
does not tease, they are not bullied, but they are rejected, they become lonely in the circle of classmates.

Embittered – children who fail to establish contact with their peers begin to behave as if they are taking revenge on others for their failures.
Unpopular – not able to initiate communication, shy, do not know
how to attract the attention of classmates, so they are not noticed. Often this happens when a child has come to an already established team or often skips school.

Annex 2

Types of rejection

There are different children, with different needs for communication. A single friend is enough for one, with whom they see once a week, so as not to feel lonely and proudly consider: "I have a friend." And it’s bad for the other if a whole noisy company does not swirl around him, where everyone obeys his word and even gesture.

It is possible to single out several types of rejection, all of which, to a greater or lesser extent, make the school life of the rejected child unbearable.

Bullying - the child is not allowed to pass, they are called names, beaten, persecuted. Purpose: revenge, fun and more.
Active rejection - arises in response to the initiative coming from the rejected child, they make it clear that he is nobody, his opinion means nothing.
Passive rejection- arises in situations when you need to choose someone for the team, accept into the game, sit down at the desk, in such cases, the children usually refuse, saying: “I won’t be with him!”.
Ignoring- they simply do not pay attention to the child, do not communicate, do not notice, have nothing against, but are not interested either.
moral violence- Verbal attacks from peers. Moral violence can include threats of physical violence, blackmail. Blackmail is most often associated with a threat to tell adults about something, to give them some offense of the victim if she does not comply with the requirements of the persecutor.
Name calling - psychologist M.V. Osorina writes: “Name calling is always a test of the child’s “I” for psychological strength.” It is the name-calling from peers that most often complain of outcast children.
Nicknames and teasers - Why do children so willingly and often repeat hurtful words? Firstly, they are attracted by the emotionality with which these words are pronounced by the people around them. A swearing person usually “radiates” boundless self-confidence, his gestures are very expressive, a certain excitement and tension arise around him. Secondly, seeing that such words shock, anger and upset the person to whom they are addressed, children begin to use them to annoy and tease others.

Appendix 3
Dear Respondent,

please take part in our scientific research and answer the questions honestly

We guarantee the anonymity of the survey

Are there students in your class with whom you do not communicate? NOT REALLY
Why don't you communicate with them?________________________________________________
Would you like to exclude them from the class? NOT REALLY
What repulses you about them (select):
Would you be able to befriend him if he changed? NOT REALLY
What would you suggest that they change in themselves? ______________________________________________
If you were rejected and knew the reasons for this, would you change your character traits, principles? NOT REALLY
Does the child's social status affect the reason for his rejection? NOT REALLY

Stock
"Let's be friends"

Questionnaire and diagnostics

students

Appendix 4

Team building games

Game "Raft"

Target: team building.

Equipment: whatman.

Instruction: the facilitator invites the participants to go on a trip along the fast river. Whatman is a raft. All participants stand on paper, supporting and helping each other. Suddenly, on the way, the travelers come across a large stone, on which the raft falls and breaks in half. The leader breaks the raft into two parts. The task of the guys is to stand on one half of the drawing paper, helping each other. This combination with tearing paper in half continues several times.

Discussion: Guys, was it difficult for you? What were your difficulties? Would you like to help and support everyone? Could you leave your classmate? And if you didn't talk to him, what would you do?
Game "Brook"

Target: activation of communication skills

Instruction: Children line up in pairs in a column, holding hands with a partner, facing the leading pair. The leading couple turns, stands in front of the entire column and begins to move deeper into the stream. The first pair passes the raised hands going through the gates, and the next one, on the contrary, itself passes through the gates of the pair going deeper into the stream, etc. The leading pair, which has reached the end of the stream, turns along the line, becoming its completion. Each next couple, being in the place of the leader, in turn, turns to face the line and begins to move deeper into the stream. The movement is repeated until the leading couple is in their place, waiting for everyone else to come to their places. Then the next figure begins.
Game "Mountain Pass"

Target: cohesion of the children's team.

Instruction: The facilitator divides the guys into two groups so that the rejected guys are in both groups. I group of guys joins hands and makes "obstacles". Group II also joins hands and overcomes obstacles without breaking hands and helping each other.
Game "Suitcase"

Target: developing the ability to find positive qualities in others.

Instruction: all participants sit in a circle. One of them goes to the center,
and the rest on small pieces of paper write one positive quality of the participant and a compliment standing in the center of the circle.

An outcast is a person with a special worldview, opposing himself to society and not fitting into its way of life. But such a person always has a chance to remain himself and at the same time not be rejected.

Instruction

If you feel that some of the foundations of society are becoming alien to you, do not try to resist this process. Man is an individual being, and the appearance of such individuals, who are called outcasts, illustrates how developed a society is and whether there is disorder in it.

Developing your uniqueness, try to understand for yourself that any person, in essence, is. It's just that not everyone recognizes it. Worries about earning money, spending it on common pleasures, fashionable stylish clothes, recreation - doesn’t all this indicate the presence of a collective mind, the mind of the “herd”, excluding and questioning the existence, unique in a human being?

Not to be outcast, it is necessary to accept the conditions of society. Live by its rules, changing it for the better. Take advantage of the given chance to improve the living environment in favor of a thinking person, a natural person who is part of nature.

In order to join any team or society, it is necessary to comply with the adopted laws, style of behavior, “dress code”, manner of communication. But you can still be yourself. Someone may not like your humor or point of view. Someone will be disgusted by the “color scheme and style” of your behavior and the desire to understand the essence of some, perhaps forbidden things. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.

Reflect on the fact that society certainly has an impact on the life of an individual. But there is also feedback. The extent to which your personality is developed in accordance with the laws of nature affects the people around you, space, and events.

Your position should be life-affirming. If you feel the need, nurture the best in you. Then it will be strange to hear that you - a person striving for perfection - are outcast for society.

Sources:

Outcast child in the classroom

In any team, perhaps, there are people who keep to themselves. They interact little with other members of the team. Do not participate in any common affairs and entertainment. And sometimes it is completely incomprehensible how they ended up in a team with which they have so little in common.

The school is also a team. Sometimes even harder than an adult. After all, in an adult team, the requirements of ethics are still observed. What is not always found in children's groups. Children do not know how to tolerate those who are incomprehensible to them or in some way different from them. Over such a child can not only joke, but even mock.

No parent wants such a fate for their child. And any parent will protect their child from the attacks of other children. But sometimes it is precisely such protection, which turns into excessive guardianship, that serves as an extra reason for peers to mock the child. Most often, such exaggerated guardianship occurs on the part of caring mothers. Therefore, from early childhood, impressionable mothers must learn to control their emotions and impulses.

You need to learn how to calmly look at abrasions and bumps. Do not panic about the skinned knees and the torn dress of the girl. You should not make a tragedy out of this and run screaming to look for the guilty. If only because in most cases the child receives such injuries in the heat of the game, when both he and his peers are so passionate that they do not think about the safety of the nose and knees. And only along with the feeling of pain creeps a sense of resentment.

Parents should sympathize with the child, but without much emotion. You can specify what he feels at this moment. He will definitely be distracted by the awareness of his feelings and calm down much faster. So parents teach the child not to go in cycles in failures and troubles. And this skill is very useful in the children's team.

Another reason for the separation of the child from the team may be the inability to defend their point of view. This happens with children, for whom everything is always decided by lovely parents or caring grandparents. Freedom and independence also need to be taught. Gradually, you need to give the child the opportunity to choose in more and more situations. You can start with small household items.

A child who is self-confident will always be able to defend his rights. And if such a child is outside the team, then only of his own free will. And no one can call him an outcast, because, despite his isolation, he will certainly enjoy the respect of his peers.

Sources:

Outcast child in the classroom

An outcast is a person who is rejected by society. All his attempts to enter his social environment again end according to one scenario - he is again rejected. Why does a person fall into the role of an outcast and how can he get out of this role?

When the collective rejects the person

In every community, rejection occurs in a different form. At school, this can be ridicule, insults, and even physical harassment; in adult groups, rejection can take the form of sophisticated ignorance, when there seems to be no outright neglect, but one becomes very ill, and everyone else, as if having agreed in advance, play its role.

The outcast becomes the one in whom most of the surrounding people begin to see what they reject in themselves. These may be qualities such as insecurity, lack of success in the profession. However, it can also be any qualities that in this particular team, for some reason, were banned. For example, the boss does not like fussy employees or those who like to take the initiative. If he can spread his mood to the rest of the team, then an employee with such qualities can become an outcast and endure many negative moments in relation to others.

Or another example. There are teams in which an atmosphere of ambition reigns. Members of such teams set challenging goals for themselves and each other and are very proud when they manage to achieve them. If a person deprived of this quality gets into such a team, he can become an outcast due to the fact that others will not be able to respect him and will see in him what they would not like to see in themselves - the lack of desire to achieve anything in life.

Thus, in most cases, it turns out that they become an outcast in relation to a certain team. If the same person ends up in another community where the qualities that are inherent in him are not rejected, he may feel quite good there.

Sometimes in children's groups those children become outcasts, whose parents take care of them too much and constantly control their lives. Also, the reason for rejection may be some feature that the team does not accept - an illness, a character trait, belonging to any social stratum, poverty, or vice versa material security.

In this case, it is necessary to analyze what values are inherent in this team, what qualities are rejected. After that, you need to understand what qualities a person who has become an outcast shows. If this contradiction is insoluble, then it is necessary to look for a new team, or build relationships based on this information.

When a person rejects others

However, it also happens that a person becomes an outcast in almost any team. This is a completely different situation. Here you need to understand what qualities in a person make him an outcast.

Firstly, such an outcast can initially deny many of the values that the team professes and show his disrespect in some statements and actions. This, in turn, is sufficient reason for rejection.

Secondly, each member of the community performs some function, does something useful for him. The outcast refuses to invest something in the team. He focuses on himself and his opposition. By this he himself provokes others to reject him. How can you accept a person who rejects himself?

Thirdly, an outcast may simply not be able to build relationships with society due to his characteristics. If such a person does not respond to impulses from others and withdraws into himself, not having the ability to build a dialogue, then he can also become an outcast.

In life, to become an outcast, a person does not need the manifestation of all factors at the same time. One or two is enough to get a rejection. In the first case, when a person denies the values of the team, the reaction of others may be the most harsh. Whereas in the latter case, if there is simply an inability to build a dialogue, then the rejection will be of a milder form.

Thus, it is necessary to understand the reasons that led to this problem in each particular case, so that they can be corrected later.

Starting from kindergarten, and continuing at school, in almost every group (class) there is a girl or a boy, to whom others treat without due respect, and sometimes even with hostility. Such children are accused of someone else's fault, their personal belongings are taken away and offensive nicknames are invented.

Often, outcasts are children with physiological disabilities, of a different nationality or social stratum, "nerds" and "bespectacled". Weak children become from the inability to fix boundaries with other people. This is due to parents who are very strict, demand the impossible and apply all decisions for their children.

In a learning environment, to be good, you need to stand out and follow the rest. Unlike adults, children do not control emotions and show their aggression explicitly. At first, one oppressor will appear, but if he does not see a rebuff, then over time a group like him will form.

How can you help such a child?

A common opinion is that it is necessary to change the environment, talk with the offender's parents, connect a teacher or class leader. However, this method is ineffective in practice. After such actions, the child is even more prone to humiliation, and he is considered a “sissy”, unable to resolve the issue on his own. Consequently, outcast children must change themselves, and parents only assist and help.

First, find out the factors of bad attitude towards the child. There are problems that can be easily fixed:

if a child has problems with weight - make sure that he eats right, get him interested in playing sports;

if the child wears glasses, replace them with lenses;

if the child devotes a lot of time to studying, advise him to engage in collective activities in the classroom, to take part in the preparation of the holiday;

if the child is poorly dressed, buy him fashionable clothes (normal things for children can also be purchased at stock stores).

It is much more difficult when the shortcomings are not eliminated for objective reasons. For example, physiological abnormalities or inappropriate nationality. Here you need to help the child find a hobby or occupation in which he would have the opportunity to achieve great results. It can be computer technology, various sports or applied arts.

Listen to the interests of the child and support him. In any case, do not talk about how everyone around is bad and vicious. On the contrary, show your child how you can change people by changing yourself first. This will be a real discovery for him.

Feelings and emotions in interpersonal relationships

The problem of interpersonal relations in a group can be approached from different angles. You can explore the form of these relationships, their influence on the individual, on the situation in the group. And all these aspects of interpersonal relationships are important for modern practice.

Intra-group relations also have a structure. They can be determined both by a person, his position in the system of formal relations, and by the feelings that people experience for each other in the process of joint activity.

Feeling as an indicator of interpersonal relationships was considered by many psychologists (T. Shibutani, J. Moreno, A. Maslow, K. Rogers and others).

People behave according to the rules. But feelings determine features, regulate behavior.

- these are stable experiences that are associated with. They direct the mutual orientations of people. Feelings are different from emotions - subjective reactions to the influence of internal and external factors. Feelings are stronger than emotions.

Feelings have certain social functions. The social functions of feelings determine the readiness of a person for a certain way of behavior in a particular situation.

Cognitive function of the senses associated with the comprehension of the significance of this event for the person himself.

Mobilization function of the senses manifests itself in the willingness of a person to act in a certain way. Feelings determine the overall energy level of human activity.

Integrative-protective and warning function provide a choice of direction of activity, orientation in situations and relationships.

Not all interpersonal relationships are accompanied by feelings. A person may not have any feelings towards another.

If feelings are in conflict with social norms, then a person is often not aware of them. The problem of some people is that they do not quite understand what kind of feelings they experience in a given situation, if on a conscious and unconscious level the feelings do not coincide.

A person seeks to avoid negative experiences in the group.

Psychological defense mechanisms

Psychological defense mechanisms act on a subconscious level and represent a system of personality regulation aimed at eliminating negative experiences.

Every person has a normative level of psychological protection. There are individuals in whom the effect of psychological protection is excessive.

In addition to psychological defense, there are such specific violations when a person experiences relationships in a group: emotional stuckness and explosiveness. emotional stuck is a state in which an affective reaction that has arisen is fixed for a long time and affects thoughts and behavior. For example, an experienced resentment “gets stuck” for a long time in a vindictive person. explosiveness- increased excitability, a tendency to violent manifestations of affect, an inadequate reaction in strength.

In any existing relatively long period of time, one can observe emotional preferences. The American psychologist J. Moreno, considering the totality of preferences of group members, developed the world-famous theory of sociometry. Moreno believed that the psychological comfort of a person depends on his position in the informal structure of relations in a small group. The sociometric structure of a group is a set of subordinate positions of group members in the system of interpersonal relations.

System of interpersonal relations

The system of interpersonal relations includes a set of likes and dislikes, preferences and rejections of all members of the group.

sociometric status

Each individual in the group has a sociometric status, which can be defined as the sum of preferences and rejections received from other members. Sociometric status may be higher or lower depending on what feelings other members of the group experience in relation to this subject - positive or negative. The totality of all statuses defines status hierarchy in the group.

The stability of sociometric status is determined by many factors, among which are the following:

appearance (physical attractiveness, leading modality of facial expressions, appearance design, non-verbal language);
success in leading activities;
some character traits and (tolerance, sociability, goodwill, low anxiety, stability of the nervous system, etc.);
correspondence of the values of the individual to the values of the group of which he is a member;
position in other social groups.

To change the status of a person in a group, sometimes it is enough just to work with one or another status factor.

Reciprocity of emotional preferences

Interpersonal relationships in a group include relationships of interpersonal preference.

Revealing the rejection system in a group is necessary to predict its actions in a situation. Rejections in a group can be grouped into three types.

The second type is the polarization of rejections, in which two main microgroups are distinguished that reject each other.

The third type is the most unfavorable for the group, when only one will be rejected, acting as a defendant for all misunderstandings, the so-called "switchman". Sometimes in a group, a negative attitude towards one person on the part of the majority can be quite justified. However, such cases are considered exceptional. If the group always chooses the switchman, then we can conclude that the nature of interpersonal relations in it is unfavorable. Even if the rejected person leaves the group, a new "guilty" person will be found for the appropriate role.

Group habits in the system of interpersonal relations are formed in the same way as any other group actions.

Habit refers to a form of social control and directs the behavior of specific individuals and the group as a whole.

Portal for the student. Self-training

When the collective rejects the person

When a person rejects others

How can you help such a child?

Feelings and emotions in interpersonal relationships

Psychological defense mechanisms

System of interpersonal relations

sociometric status

Reciprocity of emotional preferences

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