Today is such a wonderful evening, one of the evenings that allows you to return to your school years and remember everything that was dear to us when, how well we spent carefree days, how wonderful and kind our teachers were. Let's raise a glass for the fact that there are such evenings of meetings and that we can see each other at least every 5 years!

Immensely glad to see you all. I look and see all the same childish and happy faces that can be called relatives. We lived a little life together. I remember those desks and the smell of ink, I remember the feeling of chewing gum and cigarette smoke in the toilet. Whatever it was, it was a wonderful time. I want to drink for all of you and wish, at least sometimes, to remember those joyful moments.

Graduates, hello to you all,
We haven't seen each other for a long time
And now fate brought together again,
We are with you in this room!

My friends, I wish everyone
So that everyone's dreams come true
For our meeting I drink to the bottom,
I want everyone to smile!

Everyone says that school years are the happiest. And indeed it is. I will always remember with joy how I ran to school, how I skipped classes, how I told my mother that my head hurts so as not to go to classes. Now it seems like a child's game, something special, funny. Thanks to everyone who came to the alumni meeting!

Just yesterday, it seems, we were sitting at our desks, disrupting lessons and coming up with nicknames for teachers. Of course, many have undergone cardinal changes in their families and lives, but, having gathered here, we all feel like tomboy schoolchildren. Let's drink to this wonderful tradition of meeting and to all of us who support it.

It is difficult to get an education: exams, strict teachers, and much more. But it is even more difficult to get a life education: how to make friends, how to love, how to help out, how to keep secrets... So let's raise our glasses in gratitude to each other for the wonderful years that taught us true friendship!

What wonderful school years, how many unforgettable moments! Thank you for giving us something to remember and to miss. I would like to raise a glass to the teachers who have contributed a part of themselves to our development. Thank you very much for everything!

Dear friends! Years later, we got back together. Everyone already has their own worries: family, children and work. But no one will forget about our second home - the school. The time spent here is priceless to me. You are my second family. I remember those wonderful days with you with tears in my eyes. Let's drink for more reasons to get together!

It seems that quite recently we got together only at school desks. We were noisy, quarrelsome, somewhere rude and condescending. But still we had the main advantage - mutual assistance and support. I am very glad (a) that after so much time we still have it. There is also free access to alcohol, so raise your glasses to real friends!

Let's drink to our warm welcome. Even though we haven’t seen each other for a long time, we’ll chat with our classmates today to our heart’s content this evening. Let's remember children's pranks, first love and teachers, share our achievements, show photos of children.

Meeting of school graduates. Teacher:
- Well, how do you live, Vovochka? I remember how you could not really answer a single question, everyone said: "I don't know" and "I don't know."
- And I still say the same thing. But then I add: "Find out and report."

Alumni meeting. A former classmate who left the institute and disappeared for a long time, as it turned out, got a job in a medical school. A friend, having learned about this, tries to drive up:
- You're a doctor, you can certainly cure me!
-*choking* Yura, damn it! I'm a future medical examiner, do you really want me to treat you?!

Meeting of graduates in 30 years. They practically bring into the class under the arms
gray-haired Mary Ivanna, she looks at everyone, and through tears
rejoices:
- You are my relatives, you are my favorite class for all the years, oh, look,
who has become who now, here is Masha Ivanova, the luminary of medicine, Vitenka
Petrov is a diplomat, Syomochka Shlemenzon is a doctor of sciences, and even Vovochka, our
Vovochka, who spent the whole school at the back of the desk and who doesn’t care
nothing was needed - and he became a general!
From behind the last desk rises a shackled Little Vovochka in a general's
uniform and looks around everyone with a tipsy look:
IT IS NECESSARY, BUT THAT EVERYTHING WAS DONE BY THE MORNING!"

The son comes from school and tells. His classmate decided to prank
over an English teacher:
Do you know an English word that has three S's in a row?
The teacher thought:
- No, I do not know.
- I know. Grassmoker!
After that, she gave him two deuces and made him spend the whole lesson
in the corner.

Every first Saturday of February, well, then everyone knows, a meeting of graduates.
This is the preface. Further situation, me and my friend stayed this Saturday
without second halves, as they also went to meetings, respectively.
Well, naturally, plans were ripening in my head, now we'll meet, you see
for martinis with classmates from the lower grades and away we go. Rushing with
such thoughts along the avenue and then the traffic light is red, of course
slowed down, and in front two girls are walking so slowly almost along the edge
sidewalk and behind such a wonderful view, well, just a feast for the eyes, well, I
I say to Dimon slow down now let's go to meet them. Well we
we slow down and only I open my mouth to freeze something like a thread like
your day has passed and I understand that this is a mother and daughter and there are no options here.
Dima finally lost his speech, well, the first thing that came to my mind and blurted out:
Excuse me, we are graduates of the 56th school, we have a meeting today, you
Can you tell me by chance where it is?

There was a meeting of graduates at the school, after which, of course, all our relatives
classmates went to continue celebrating this event away from school,
or rather, in a small bar :))) After a plentiful libation, I return with
friend home. A friend of course as they say podshofe. We pass a small
track, but it should be noted that the time was already later and there were no cars in principle
expected, so they didn’t look around too much. So that's when
we were crossing, a car passes right in front of our nose, if we stop
have time. After some freaking out "it's good that they didn't fall under
wheels" and all that, a friend gives out in a drunken voice: "but how he crept up,
contagion" :)))))))

Website of the Higher School of Economics, report on the trip of the university delegation to
China. http://www.hse.ru/temp/2005/06_27_china.shtml

Quote: "Currently, in the PRC, the rural population is 80%. Of
50% of graduates of rural schools remain in the countryside, and 50% leave for the cities
(15% for work, 35% for further studies in universities)."

So understand, either 50% of Chinese graduates, having arrived in the city,
are homeless, or in "one of the leading universities in the country" it is bad with
arithmetic.

Not so long ago, a solemn meeting of graduates of the native
academy. Ten years have passed since graduation, so the meeting
most of the group gathered. During the meeting it became clear that
the head of the group became the chief accountant of the company "****" known in
throughout the country, which is engaged in the development of software
software for accounting automation. To the question:
- How do you manage your bookkeeping?
The following response was received:
- We are a young promising company... At 1C, of ​​course.

(c) Sj aka Zheleznyakov Yu, tfutyk, Zheleznyakov Yu aka Sj
http://www.superjur.narod.ru/Text/afufla.htm

Venue: Alumni Reunion.
Time: yesterday
A classmate offers to see a photo of her daughter.
My daughter is almost 20. I know from the cradle. Clever beauty. But a couple of years
I saw it, it's interesting to see the last photo.
Shows.
- Class! Just beautiful!
By mistake, a classmate took out a package of tights from her bag and I
considered the corresponding picture of the lower half of some model.

In the USA, it is customary for school graduates before graduation, at parting,
arrange pranks so that graduates will be remembered for a long time. In past
year, for example, students from one of the local schools stole a model of an elephant,
erected on the roof of an Indian restaurant, and placed it at night in front of
director's office, epoxy gluing his feet to the floor. Tore off for a long time.

At the school where one friend studied, the most legendary was a joke
1992 graduates: Three skunks bought in
pet shop, with tonsils removed, producing a pungent odor
(the administration, of course, did not know about this). On every white paint were
numbers 1, 3 and 5 are drawn. For two weeks, the school administration and the local
wildlife control organization to no avail
looking for skunks with numbers 2 and 4... Finally, one of the graduates took pity
over them and told them the secret of the prank.

When going to a meeting with classmates, each of us is excited and it seems that there are so many words and wishes that we want to say to old friends and respected teachers that we don’t need to prepare specially: everything will be remembered and will affect itself. But it is precisely this very excitement that can bring you down at the most inopportune moment and in the end, apart from a couple of traditional phrases, nothing will come to mind, and then it’s a shame, because you really wanted to be on top and be remembered by classmates as eloquent, witty and resourceful ... .

To avoid this, we suggest taking with you a couple of poems, toasts (comic or lyrical) and written by real professionals in their field (thanks to the authors), which can help out and, for sure, entertain and delight your classmates.

We offer toasts and table jokes to meet with classmates:

1. A verse about the 80s - for a meeting with classmates.

I wanted to be a child again, in the happy eighties,
Where it was so easy to live and sing, it seemed like forever!
Where the New Year is the kindest holiday! He smelled like tangerines forever!
And every person was proud of his Country of Soviets!
Where is the soda in vending machines with one cup for all!
"Irony of Fate" in cinemas, for kissing - no interference!
Ice cream cost a penny, and popsicle - wow! Already twenty-two!
And a couple of lovers on the bench, they were not happier on earth!
Where songs spilled from open windows
About how "maple makes noise, and about Alyoshka's love."
Where the world was woven from goodness and light ... But where to find all this again?
I wanted to go back to my childhood again ... But, as we know, there are no tickets there!
Return it, there is no means! And only in the soul - a distant warm light! ..

(Source: inter-svadba.com))

2. A toast to school friendship.

You graduated from high school a long time ago
So they counted - ... ... years ...
The people are still cheerful
At least someone is bald, and someone is gray.
Still laughing out loud
Hope is still full
And charming "girls"
And the boys are ready to fight.
We drink for victories, for accomplishments,
For the sun of our new days,
We drink for desires embodiment,
For friendship - it is not more important!

(Source: coszosh.at.ua))

3. "Top class!"

It's been twenty years now
From graduation party
And lucky, and not lucky -
In a word, life shook.

Who is immersed in a career
Someone writes books
Someone happily in love
Who has kids.
I'll raise a glass to you
Let everything be - the highest class!

(Source: vk.com))

4. Toast "Let's drink to our old deeds!"

It would be time to see each other more often -

There would be occasions to drink a hundred times.

No time! For real friends

There is only one way out - to catch up now.

Glasses - higher! Closer appetizers

Let's drink to our old deeds.

And we wish habitually, in Russian,

May our life be carefree!

(Source: znayka. net)

5. Welcome speech " Thirty years later"

Thirty years ago you stood the same way
Holding hands with excitement in the soul,
Before the big road of adulthood
We dreamed, we already made plans.
You chose the path under sensitive guidance
Teachers, parents.
Rushed into life with a little regret
About the school and about the desk for two.
And childhood imperceptibly left
And it was somewhere far away...
But you studied further and worked,
And you meet families.
Now you have taught your children
After all, time does not stand still, it goes forward.
And the meeting of former students, mind you,
Gives energy for many years!

6.

Life goes in an endless circle.
It's like a train is going faster and faster.
Where are you now, friends - girlfriends
Komsomol youth of my?

How long have I not seen you!
Our paths didn't cross.
Let's get together with old friends.
How much longer do we have to go?

Let's remember the class, tent summer,
And goodbye in the apple orchard.
Motor ship and scarlet dawns...
Leningrad and swans in the pond.

Graduation... Cheerful sad holiday.
And the teacher's big order:
Growing up, you sometimes, at least once,
Take a look at your favorite class!

Let's remember how we are together, the whole crowd
They escorted the guys to the Army.
Wishing to achieve military glory,
They were waiting for letters from their soldiers.

Gradually dispersed around the world.
The world has changed, become different.
Only by phone send greetings
To my gray-haired classmates.

We do not need sad dates,
To invite friends to the round table.
We were always close by.
Can we turn back time?

Years go by and sometimes
Passing by, we do not know
All the friends who are close to us at heart.
Thinking about his own.

So let's meet guys!
And light up our Cool Light.
Let's remember all the cases, events, dates,
Let's dive into youth for an hour.

Laying out family albums
Let's drink sweet wine together.
Let us become our common home
The school class is the native side.

(Source: school23sochi.narod.ru)

7. Joke "Reaction after meeting classmates..."

Gray-haired ate .. Gray-haired drank
And remember what they were.
Wrinkles on the foreheads. Sclerosis in the eyes.
And the silent question excites:
"What has become of us over the years?
And who are all these freaks around?
Gray-haired aunts - childhood friends?
And the grandfather, on the contrary, is the neighbor's kid?
Yes, life is not a picnic, but a complete kaknik!
Terrible tsunami worldly waves,
Lush roses withered from time to time,
Why such wild metamorphoses?
When they ate and drank everything,
Then they howled at the top of their lungs ..
And everyone thought: "GREAT GOD!!
Really and I .. with such a mug

(Source: abc-fiesta.r)u)

8. A joke about the Odnoklassniki website

Son came to me, rogue,
And he asked sadly:
"Classmates, father -
What it is?

What kind of site is this
Where are the gray people
In real waving his hand,
Drowning in fornication?

Where the path to change is visible,
The goal is clear and the means
Where they want to return
In the Brezhnev childhood?

Where is their peace disturbed?
Where do they spend their nights?
What kind of site is this?
Explain to me, father?

I drew my son to me
And he said sadly:
"Database of the FSB -
That's what we are!"

(Source: abc-fiesta.r)u)

9. Joke "Meeting, years later."

A sketch about how classmates meet after a different number of years can be used as a liner to a toast: "Let's drink to the fact that we will be glad to each other in 100 years, as in the first years after graduation!"

When they meet in a year- kissing and hugging ....

When they meet in five years- hug and exclaim: “Bah, what people!!” and then they go somewhere together.

-After 10 years- they smile broadly and say: "How many years, how many winters !!!" and share news

-In 20 years- they say hello on the run and say: “We need to get together somehow” and they scatter without agreeing on a meeting.

-After 30 years- almost sincerely say: "You look great" and immediately start talking about grandchildren. And

After 50 years- open their eyes wide and in response to the greeting they ask: "Who are you?"

10. Dedication to the evening of the meeting.

February. Saturday.
A school we know to tears.

smiles. Joy of meeting
The motive is familiar. Bouquets of roses.

Memories. Conversations.
Business card exchange. Success.
And reconciliation of the old quarrel,
And children's, as once, laughter.

Recall in the milk of frogs
When we get hard.
You look - and jump out to land,
And the soul will be light.

We were taught to think in school,
Prove. Let's not be right.
We were taught to adult life,
Which is not made of flowers and herbs.

Here the blizzards and blizzards have died down,
The snow melted again.
And our souls also warmed,
And familiar eyes met.

Yes, life has abandoned us
It's scary to even remember.
We lived now, rejoicing, now loving.
But today, on this beautiful day

We met 30 years later!
Now power and important such,
We have become more patient and wiser.

Forgetting about time, age and worries,
Let's remember the carelessness of school days.

11. Joke "School day mode".

Dream. Alarm. Shower. Charger.

Breakfast. Tea. Briefcase. Notebook.
Shoes. Path. Crows. Check.
late. Failed.

Turn. behavior.
Deuce. Head teacher Disappointment.
Finding out. Call.
Stair running. Lesson.

Numbers. Rules. Torment.
Light. Window. Dreams. Visions.
Verbal counting. Example. Board.
Multiplication. Yearning.

Deuce. Disappointment.
Perspective. Punishment.
Optimism. Fight against vice.
Jokes. Laughter. End of lessons!

House. One. Hooray! Toys.
Soup. Pancakes. Compote. Cheesecakes.
Rest. cartoon program.
Telephone. Computer. Mother.

Meeting. Kiss. Diary.
Oh! Belt. Questions. Scream.
Excuses. Snot. Tears.
Exclamations. Threats.

Reconciliation. Textbook.
-Do it yourself! -Yes. Reshebnik.
Dinner. Bath. Relaxation.
Tomorrow morning repeat:

Dream. Alarm. Shower. Charger..

Collection posted for review