If we asked the robot to describe the weather outside, he would answer something like this: "Air temperature - 5 degrees below zero, snow, no wind".

Here is how a person would describe the weather: "Hooray! Real winter! It snows all day, just great weather for sledding and snowball fights!”.

What do you think is the difference between these two statements? The main difference between humans and robots is that they can experience feelings and emotions.

We will talk about this.

What is useful to us usually causes positive emotions; what is dangerous is negative.

Emotions can change the state of the body. So, at the sight of something frightening, our pulse and breathing quicken, the brain begins to receive more oxygen and nutrients, and the pupils expand.

All this is necessary in order to be able to escape or vice versa, to fight the enemy: in other words, to protect yourself from danger.

Emotions spur us to action or force us not to repeat "harmful" actions. For example, having become interested in something, we will definitely study the subject or phenomenon that aroused our interest.

And if we are ashamed of some act, we will try to behave differently in the future. The center for recognition of emotions "turns on" at a very early age: the baby is able to distinguish the mother's smile and smiles back.

How are emotions different from feelings and moods?

Emotion disappears as soon as the circumstances that caused it disappear.

The mood, on the contrary, is a long-term state of the general emotional background. If it is gloomy, then everything around seems gloomy, as if you are looking at the world around you through dark glasses.

And when the mood is good, small troubles seem insignificant. It is no coincidence that people who notice only positive things are said to look at the world through rose-colored glasses.

It is believed that there are only ten basic emotions:

1. Joy
2. Astonishment
3. Interest
4. Sadness
5. Disgust
6. Contempt
7. Fear

Animals also experience emotions. Looking at a dog or cat, we can immediately understand what mood it is in.

Pets also "read" the expression of our face, body position, evaluate movements. If the owner is angry, his dog will instantly feel it.

We draw your attention to and - very exciting information!

human feelings

Feeling is a stable emotional attitude towards other people and phenomena. Emotions usually pass by our consciousness, and we can grow feelings like flowers.

You can cultivate a sense of beauty in yourself - the ability to enjoy beauty, love, a sense of responsibility; but you can also have negative feelings - hatred, envy, jealousy or resentment.

This moment is very important, since any person is responsible for the feelings that he cultivates in himself.

Engravings of feelings and emotions prepared for the Encyclopedia Londinensis. 1821.

It is important to remember that negative, negative feelings and emotions not only interfere with communicating with other people (few people want to be friends with a mean or whiner), but also weaken the body.

It is no coincidence that popular wisdom says that all diseases come from nerves.

A positive attitude towards life helps to cope with any problem.

Scientists say that a bad mood can be overcome with the help of bananas or chocolate, because when they are consumed, endorphins, the hormones of joy, begin to enter the bloodstream.

If you like interesting facts about everything - subscribe to in any social network. It's always interesting with us!

Liked the post? Press any button:

• 20 Important Psychological Facts
• What is imprinting
• 10 examples of how the brain gives away our secrets
• Circulatory system

Human emotions and feelings are specific ways people respond to changes in the internal or external environment.

The main characteristics of an emotional-sensory experience include:

a certain level of excitation (a general change in the speed and intensity of the course of mental, motor and vegetative processes);

a sign (what value - positive or negative - does an event, object, person have for the subject);

objectivity (focus on something or someone, targeting of the relationship);

modality, or the content and quality of emotions and feelings (for example, surprise, joy, anxiety, sadness, etc.).

It is the presence of a sign that distinguishes emotional-sensory experiences from all other reactions of the organism to the environment. Through emotions, a person identifies dangerous and non-dangerous, pleasant and unpleasant, makes a choice of a behavior model that corresponds to his actual needs, and in interpersonal relationships - the choice of partners, ways and means of interacting with them.

How can emotions and feelings regulate human behavior and relationships with other people? How do our feelings show up?

Usually, the following forms of manifestation of emotions are distinguished:

expressive movements or reactions

emotional actions

statements about experienced emotional states

Expressive movements- a consequence of emotional arousal (i.e., they are, as a rule, reactive in nature), this is an external manifestation of emotions. Each emotion is accompanied by physical changes in facial expressions, body, voice, and appearance in general. In this way, our senses let us know how people, ideas, and environments affect us.

Emotional actions performed to express or reduce an emotional state. Thus, the behavior of a person who, shocked by the news of the death of his relative, begins to sob and collapses into an armchair without strength, is a form of expressive emotional reaction; when this person puts on mourning clothes, talks about how sad he is, participates in the funeral ceremony, sobs and wails, he performs specific emotional actions, that is, actions caused by emotion and aimed at expressing this emotion and " discharge". Emotional actions can represent complex organized activities. For example, in order to express his anger, a person can write an op-ed or a satirical pamphlet. Emotional actions can be caused not only by experienced emotions, but also by completely different reasons, for example, the desire to earn approval or the fear of causing someone's displeasure.

Emotional statements act as an intermediary between the individual and his emotion. A mature emotion is accessible to mediated regulation, reflection, the main means of which is speech. In the process of socialization, a person from an object of natural spontaneous emotion, when he is inseparable from it (for example, a newly born child), turns into a subject of emotion, distinguishing himself as a subject of experience, including due to what he can say about what he feels. This process underlies the management of emotions and feelings.

Thus, emotions and feelings perform a regulatory function in the interaction between people due to the fact that they appear as a complex form of behavior, as a willingness to act in a certain way in relation to certain people. So, to hate someone means to be ready to act aggressively towards him or to defend himself against him. To be jealous of someone means to distrust the words and actions of your partner regarding close relationships, perhaps to follow him or provoke him into a quarrel, etc.

It is by the observed actions and reactions that one can determine what feelings a person is experiencing.

Emotional behavior differs significantly at different levels of communication and in different social situations.

For each level of communication, the most strategically significant is a certain level of mutual understanding, coordination and agreement, assessment of the situation and rules of conduct for each participant. The ability to understand the situation, bring the expression of one's emotions and behavior in line with it, as well as in line with the behavior of other people, is a necessary condition for joint life.

For example, at the social role level, what matters is not a sincere expression by a person of what he really feels, and not a sincere acceptance of feelings expressed by others, but correct, from the point of view of others, behavior in a particular situation. This is the outer behavioral level of understanding. The expediency of such an understanding is due to the fact that social-role communication is largely of a ritual nature. The sincere feelings of its participants may be caused by circumstances that have little to do with this situation. For example, a teacher taking an exam perceives the response of a student who demonstrates an energetic business mood much better than the feeling of anxiety, uncertainty, or fear that is natural for him at that moment.

If at the business level of communication the role of emotional manifestations is minimal, then at the intimate-personal level it becomes crucial, while the partner’s ability to take into account true feelings and states becomes especially significant. Accordingly, being in a psychologically close relationship with the interlocutor, it is necessary to take into account hidden feelings, while in social-role contacts, one should first of all respond to demonstrated emotions. In relationships with especially close people, even hiding resentment, irritation or love, a person still hopes that the partner will feel his true state. And if close people take into account not only the demonstrated, but also the hidden state, this causes a feeling of gratitude. In the case when a close person, whose position, as it seems to us, obliges to a true understanding, suddenly begins to react only to demonstrated feelings, resentment and discontent jumps up sharply. We expect objectivity from outsiders, with whom we have mainly business relations. This is not enough for friendship. What is needed here is sympathetic understanding and a willingness to accept the other as a whole, even with his shortcomings.

Friendly or intimate-personal relations between people, based on feelings and emotions, are never even, just as the emotional state of a person is never infinitely even.

First, the emotions held back at other levels of communication are looking for their expression, “ejection” and, in their entirety, fall upon the one who, in our opinion, deserves special trust.

Secondly, with the growth of trust, the exactingness of a person to the one whom he considers close also grows. As soon as the inner world of one is open to another, he must understand not only what is said and demonstrated, but also what remains unspoken and unrevealed. A person is very hurt if a loved one does not find a response to his feelings. Some burdensomeness of such an emotional onslaught, which can be expected from a loved one at any time and in any place, is fully justified by the fact that the person himself, in turn, has the same opportunity for the manifestation of emotions.

Bringing down their emotions on a loved one, people, as a rule, do not need an attentive (psychotherapeutic) listener, they need a no less violent response, maybe even somewhat provoking an even more open manifestation of their condition. The ability to express emotions openly performs an important function in maintaining and maintaining not only physical but also mental health.

Of course, we should not forget that this kind of relationship is possible only between very close people, and even with the most trusting relationship in the manifestation of claims, resentments, whims, there is a certain measure. Due to the deep human need to have at least periodically the opportunity to fully frankly express their emotional states, allowing them to relax, relieve tension, there is a need for a person with whom relations can be of a trusting nature, based on the reciprocity of feelings and affections.

However, a serious problem with emotional behavior is that most people not only feel uncomfortable when others express strong feelings, but also do not recognize, much less accept, many of their own feelings. We understand that feelings are natural. We know that the ability to feel is exactly the same part of any human being as the ability to think and reason logically. We recognize the inferiority of someone who looks only thinking about life and does not look like a feeling person, that is, he does not love, does not enjoy, does not get angry and does not take offense at what is happening around him. We know all this and yet we believe that feelings are destructive, that they create many obstacles and problems in our lives and work with others. Habitual behavior is variations on the theme: “Don’t worry like that.” To a person who is upset, discouraged, or depressed, we usually say, “Cheer up!” “Hold on!” "Tears of sorrow will not help!" "Everything will be fine." In short, "Don't feel like that." To a grieving or offended person, we advise: “Don't cry. Think of something nice.” To the one who is irritated, we say: “Calm down. You shouldn't be angry about it. Let's be objective." To the one who feels joy and contentment, we warn: “Be careful. Happiness always comes with misfortune.” In a wide variety of group meetings, we urge each other: “Let's not let feelings take over. Let's be prudent."

However, feelings are not the source of difficulties in dealing with others, but the way we show them, or bad experiences in dealing with them. The feelings we try to hide don't go away. They stay with us until, sooner or later, they find a way out. The problem is that when they are held back too long, they will either show up inappropriately strong or be directed to the wrong target. Instead of telling your spouse that you don't like being interrupted all the time, you can yell at your kids to "Shut up." Of course, there are situations when feelings cannot be shown properly at the moment. However, much more often their manifestation is not only necessary, but also extremely important.

Insufficient emotional expressiveness (however, as well as excessive), its inadequacy to the conditions is one of the most important sources of conflict in interpersonal relationships. Excessive restraint in the manifestation of emotions and feelings leads to the fact that a person is perceived as cold, indifferent, arrogant. Sometimes it causes only surprise, sometimes it gives rise to hostility and becomes an obstacle to establishing normal relations between people.

The consequences for interpersonal relationships that concealment, concealment, indecision in the manifestation of feelings entails, can be as follows:

unmanifested feelings create an atmosphere of misunderstanding, distortion, biased judgments and actions. It becomes much more difficult to solve interpersonal problems. Conversely, the quality of the relationship is greatly improved if the partners are free to express both positive and negative feelings.

long-term suppression of feelings can eventually cause the person to be unable to feel at all.

The main characteristics of feelings and emotions in communication

Human emotions and feelings are specific ways people respond to changes in the internal or external environment.

The main characteristics of an emotional-sensory experience include:

a certain level of excitation (a general change in the speed and intensity of the course of mental, motor and vegetative processes);

a sign (what value - positive or negative - does an event, object, person have for the subject);

objectivity (focus on something or someone, targeting of the relationship);

modality, or the content and quality of emotions and feelings (for example, surprise, joy, anxiety, sadness, etc.).

It is the presence of a sign that distinguishes emotional-sensory experiences from all other reactions of the organism to the environment. Through emotions, a person identifies dangerous and non-dangerous, pleasant and unpleasant, makes a choice of a behavior model that corresponds to his actual needs, and in interpersonal relationships - the choice of partners, ways and means of interacting with them.

How can emotions and feelings regulate human behavior and relationships with other people? How do our feelings show up?

Usually, the following forms of manifestation of emotions are distinguished:

expressive movements or reactions

emotional actions

statements about experienced emotional states

Expressive movements- a consequence of emotional arousal (i.e., they are, as a rule, reactive in nature), this is an external manifestation of emotions. Each emotion is accompanied by physical changes in facial expressions, body, voice, and appearance in general. In this way, our senses let us know how people, ideas, and environments affect us.

Emotional actions performed to express or reduce an emotional state. Thus, the behavior of a person who, shocked by the news of the death of his relative, begins to sob and collapses into an armchair without strength, is a form of expressive emotional reaction; when this person puts on mourning clothes, talks about how sad he is, participates in the funeral ceremony, sobs and wails, he performs specific emotional actions, that is, actions caused by emotion and aimed at expressing this emotion and " discharge". Emotional actions can represent complex organized activities. For example, in order to express his anger, a person can write an op-ed or a satirical pamphlet. Emotional actions can be caused not only by experienced emotions, but also by completely different reasons, for example, the desire to earn approval or the fear of causing someone's displeasure.

Emotional statements act as an intermediary between the individual and his emotion. A mature emotion is accessible to mediated regulation, reflection, the main means of which is speech. In the process of socialization, a person from an object of natural spontaneous emotion, when he is inseparable from it (for example, a newly born child), turns into a subject of emotion, distinguishing himself as a subject of experience, including due to what he can say about what he feels. This process underlies the management of emotions and feelings.

Thus, emotions and feelings perform a regulatory function in the interaction between people due to the fact that they appear as a complex form of behavior, as a willingness to act in a certain way in relation to certain people. So, to hate someone means to be ready to act aggressively towards him or to defend himself against him. To be jealous of someone means to distrust the words and actions of your partner regarding close relationships, perhaps to follow him or provoke him into a quarrel, etc.

It is by the observed actions and reactions that one can determine what feelings a person is experiencing.

Emotional behavior differs significantly at different levels of communication and in different social situations.

For each level of communication, the most strategically significant is a certain level of mutual understanding, coordination and agreement, assessment of the situation and rules of conduct for each participant. The ability to understand the situation, to bring the expression of one's emotions and behavior in line with it, as well as in line with the behavior of other people, is a necessary condition for joint life.

For example, at the social role level, what matters is not a sincere expression by a person of what he really feels, and not a sincere acceptance of feelings expressed by others, but correct, from the point of view of others, behavior in a particular situation. This is the outer behavioral level of understanding. The expediency of such an understanding is due to the fact that social-role communication is largely of a ritual nature. The sincere feelings of its participants may be caused by circumstances that have little bearing on the situation. For example, a teacher taking an exam perceives the response of a student who demonstrates an energetic business mood much better than the feeling of anxiety, uncertainty, or fear that is natural for him at that moment.

If at the business level of communication the role of emotional manifestations is minimal, then at the intimate-personal level it becomes crucial, while the partner’s ability to take into account true feelings and states becomes especially significant. Accordingly, being in a psychologically close relationship with the interlocutor, it is necessary to take into account hidden feelings, while in social-role contacts, one should first of all respond to demonstrated emotions. In relationships with especially close people, even hiding resentment, irritation or love, a person still hopes that the partner will feel his true state. And if close people take into account not only the demonstrated, but also the hidden state, this causes a feeling of gratitude. In the case when a close person, whose position, as it seems to us, obliges to a true understanding, suddenly begins to react only to demonstrated feelings, resentment and discontent jumps up sharply. We expect objectivity from outsiders, with whom we have mainly business relations. This is not enough for friendship. What is needed here is sympathetic understanding and a willingness to accept the other as a whole, even with his shortcomings.

Friendly or intimate-personal relations between people, based on feelings and emotions, are never even, just as the emotional state of a person is never infinitely even.

First, the emotions held back at other levels of communication are looking for their expression, “ejection” and, in their entirety, fall upon the one who, in our opinion, deserves special trust.

Secondly, with the growth of trust, the exactingness of a person to the one whom he considers close also grows. Since the inner world of one is open to another, he must understand not only what is said and demonstrated, but also what remains unspoken and unrevealed. A person is very hurt if a loved one does not find a response to his feelings. Some burdensomeness of such an emotional onslaught, which can be expected from a loved one at any time and in any place, is fully justified by the fact that the person himself, in turn, has the same opportunity for the manifestation of emotions.

Bringing down their emotions on a loved one, people, as a rule, do not need an attentive (psychotherapeutic) listener, they need a no less violent response, maybe even somewhat provoking an even more open manifestation of their condition. The ability to express emotions openly performs an important function in maintaining and maintaining not only physical but also mental health.

Of course, we should not forget that this kind of relationship is possible only between very close people, and even with the most trusting relationship in the manifestation of claims, resentments, whims, there is a certain measure. Due to the deep human need to have at least periodically the opportunity to fully frankly express their emotional states, allowing them to relax, relieve tension, there is a need for a person with whom relations can be of a trusting nature, based on the reciprocity of feelings and affections.

However, a serious problem with emotional behavior is that most people not only feel uncomfortable when others express strong feelings, but also do not recognize, much less accept, many of their own feelings. We understand that feelings are natural. We know that the ability to feel is exactly the same part of any human being as the ability to think and reason logically. We recognize the inferiority of someone who looks only thinking about life and does not look like a feeling person, that is, he does not love, does not enjoy, does not get angry and does not take offense at what is happening around him. We know all this and yet we believe that feelings are destructive, that they create many obstacles and problems in our lives and work with others. Habitual behavior is variations on the theme: “Don’t worry like that.” To a person who is upset, discouraged, or depressed, we usually say, “Cheer up!” “Hold on!” "Tears of sorrow will not help!" "Everything will be fine." In short, "Don't feel like that." To a grieving or offended person, we advise: “Don't cry. Think of something nice.” To the one who is irritated, we say: “Calm down. You shouldn't be angry about it. Let's be objective." To the one who feels joy and contentment, we warn: “Be careful. Happiness always comes with misfortune.” In a wide variety of group meetings, we urge each other: “Let's not let feelings take over. Let's be prudent."

However, feelings are not the source of difficulties in dealing with others, but the way we show them, or bad experiences in dealing with them. The feelings we try to hide don't go away. They stay with us until, sooner or later, they find a way out. The problem is that when they are held back too long, they will either show up inappropriately strong or be directed to the wrong target. Instead of telling your spouse that you don't like being interrupted all the time, you can yell at your kids to "Shut up." Of course, there are situations when feelings cannot be shown properly at the moment. However, much more often their manifestation is not only necessary, but also extremely important.

Insufficient emotional expressiveness (however, as well as excessive), its inadequacy to the conditions is one of the most important sources of conflict in interpersonal relationships. Excessive restraint in the manifestation of emotions and feelings leads to the fact that a person is perceived as cold, indifferent, arrogant. Sometimes it causes only surprise, sometimes it gives rise to hostility and becomes an obstacle to establishing normal relations between people.

The consequences for interpersonal relationships that concealment, concealment, indecision in the manifestation of feelings entails, can be as follows:

unexpressed feelings create an atmosphere of misunderstanding, distortion, biased judgments and actions. It becomes much more difficult to solve interpersonal problems. Conversely, the quality of the relationship is greatly improved if the partners are free to express both positive and negative feelings.

long-term suppression of feelings can eventually cause the person to be unable to feel at all.

Ways to Manage Feelings and Emotions: Constructive Openness

Management of emotions and feelings primarily involves their awareness and control over the form of manifestation. In interpersonal communication, managing emotions involves both control over one's own experiences and the ability to recognize, correctly interpret and influence the experiences of communication partners.

When we say that a person is aware of this or that state of his, we mean:

(1) that a certain fact is so clearly fixed in a person that he is able to take it into account in his practical actions;

(2) that he is able to express this fact in sign form.

At the same time, the degree of awareness of emotions and feelings can be different. A person can know that he is experiencing something and that this experience is clearly different from all previous ones (for example, for the first time a person in love experiences a state that he cannot define, but at the same time knows that it continues and that it cannot be compared with anything ). Another level, which can be called awareness itself, is manifested in the fact that a person is able to verbally express knowledge of his state (“I loved you, love, perhaps, it has not completely died out in my soul”). It is at this level that control over emotions is possible, that is:

the ability to anticipate their development

understanding of the factors on which their strength, duration and their consequences depend

Disorientation in emotional phenomena can manifest itself in the following forms:

unawareness of the very fact of the occurrence of emotions (for example, a person does not notice his anxiety, an emerging feeling, etc.)

misinterpretation of the cause of the emotion that has arisen (for example, a person believes that his anger is caused by someone's unworthy behavior, when in reality it is caused by the fact that he was not given enough attention)

misinterpretation of the connection between the emotion and the act that caused it (for example, a person believes that he is punishing the child "for his own good", while in reality he does it in order to show his superiority).

Thus, awareness of the emotional process presupposes both the ability to give a verbal description of the emotion itself, and an understanding of the connections between the emotion and the factors that caused it, on the one hand, and between the emotions and actions to which it induces, on the other.

Most people learn the language of emotions without much difficulty. Our judgments about the emotional state of other people are usually based not only on observations of their facial expressions, but also on observations of gestures and voice, the situation in which the person is located. However, not everyone achieves satisfactory results.

The reasons why not everyone wants and can carry out such an analysis are different. Some are overly focused on their own personality and therefore unable to notice and correctly assess the condition of other people. For others, inattention to others is associated with a sense of their own superiority. For others, such difficulties are explained by a sense of anxiety. This may be anxiety associated with the emotions of other people (if in the past experience of this person they were predominantly negative), or anxiety associated with one's own emotions, prompting the person to avoid everything that could cause him emotions; as a result, a person does not notice the manifestation of emotions in other people. There are people who do not seek to understand the expressions of emotions in others because it is beneficial to them for one reason or another.

The ways of expressing emotions and the degree of their adequacy to the experienced state becomes an independent problem of interpersonal relations because in the process of interpersonal communication we communicate to each other not only information about our own emotional state, but also about our attitude towards each other.

There are usually three possible ways of expressing an emotional state:

non-persistent, the purpose of which is rather to hide the true emotion

aggressive, the purpose of which is to "teach a lesson" to a partner

open, or confident, the purpose of which is to let you know how you feel without causing guilt or aggression in your partner, and in the case of your own negative emotions, to report them in a way that will let you know how you feel and therefore understand you.

The very structure of the message in each of these methods will be different.

So, an aggressive message, in addition to the fact that it uses strong evaluative definitions, as a rule, is built as a “you-message”, in it the responsibility for the emotion experienced is assigned to another person (“you make me angry”, “you offended ( a) me", "how tired of you (a)"). Statements of this kind have a double effect: on the one hand, the accusation of the other, sounding in them, arouses in the latter, first of all, a desire to defend himself, and not to understand the cause of the negative emotion; on the other hand, by defining the other as responsible for his emotion, the addresser thereby transfers to him and power over himself, since the change in his emotional state now depends on the other person.

Messages even about negative emotions that do not destroy the atmosphere of trust, partnership, should be in the nature of "I-messages", which, on the one hand, allows others to understand you without endangering their self-esteem, and on the other hand, allows you to take responsibility for your emotions on himself, therefore, opens up the possibility of managing them ("I'm nervous because it seems to me that you are deliberately not doing what I ask", "I was upset because I expected to spend time together").

Let us pay attention to the fact that an open communication about one's emotions is also accompanied by disclosure of the reasons that caused this state, and the needs that were affected by this.

Communicating your own feelings and understanding the feelings of others is an extremely difficult task. Very rarely do two people talk openly about their reactions to the actions of the other. Most of us hold back feelings (even with those who are very important and dear to us) because we are afraid of hurting another, making him angry or being rejected by him. Not knowing how to be constructively open, we just don't say anything. Our partner remains completely unaware of our reaction to his actions. Similarly, we know nothing about the result of our own actions. As a result, many relationships that could have been productive and enjoyable gradually deteriorate and collapse under the weight of accumulated petty misunderstandings, mutual misunderstandings, and resentments that were never openly spoken about.

The points below can help you understand when openness does not harm relationships, but improves them 16 .

1. Openness should be motivated by a desire to improve the relationship with the other person. Openness is not an end in itself, but rather a means. We do not open up to people we are not interested in. By revealing your states to each other, make it clear that you attach great importance to your relationship and want to improve it precisely because it is important to you.

2. Strive to achieve a similar understanding of your relationship. Seek to know how the other person perceives and relates to your actions. Strive to ensure that he knows how you perceive and relate to his actions. This will allow each of you to look at your relationship from approximately the same point of view.

3. Be aware that that openness comes with risks. Your willingness to risk your self-esteem, to be rejected or hurt, etc., depends on how important this relationship is to you. Similarly, you cannot ask the other to give you a guarantee that he will not get angry or offended by your remarks. You are even putting at risk his ability to be himself—whatever he feels about it—in order to turn this meeting into a learning situation for both of you.

4. Although such opinion exchange may become tense, violent, cause irritation or tears, he should not be coercive and should not constitute an attempt to change the other person. Everyone uses the information that he considers necessary. The starting point should not be “Who is right and who is wrong?” but “What can each of us learn from this discussion to make our work together more productive and more enjoyable?”

Thus, possible changes in your relationship will be the result of an independent choice, and not a concession to a partner or submission to him.

Unlike ideas. , which, as a rule, we strive to describe clearly and precisely, we most often do not try to describe our feelings clearly. Feelings can be expressed in many different ways, but we usually make no attempt to define feeling as such.

One way to describe a feeling is to define or name it. "I am angry." "I'm confused." "I'm glad to be with you." It turns out that we do not have enough words to cover the vast range of human emotions, and therefore we invent other ways of describing feelings, such as using comparisons. “I feel like a small frog in a huge pond.” The girl whose friend proposal was rebuffed said, “It’s like I just had my arm amputated.”

The third way to describe feelings is to say what action that feeling prompts you to do. “I feel like I’m hugging you tighter and tighter.” “I would like to slap you.” “I would love to get away from you.”

In addition, many figures of speech can also serve to describe feelings. “I just drank a whole bushel of spring sunshine.”

When describing your own feelings, try to clarify what feelings you are experiencing. The message must (1) contain an indication of "I", "me", "mine," and (2) specify the kind of feeling with the appropriate word, simile, desired action, or some rhetorical figure.

The following examples will show the relationship between two ways of expressing feelings, (1) when describing how the speaker feels, and (2) when there is no description. Note that expressing feelings using a description of the speaker's emotional state is more definite, less prone to misinterpretation, and thus more accurately conveys what the speaker feels.

Expressing a feeling with the help of a description Expressing a feeling without describing one's emotional state of one's emotional state

standing

"I'm confused." She blushes and says nothing.

"I am pleased to."

“I am annoyed.”

“I'm angry!” Shuts up suddenly

middle

“I'm worried about this.” conversations.

“I am offended by what you said.”

“I love her sense of humor.” “She is a wonderful person.”

“I respect her abilities and

competence."

“I love her, but I feel that I should not

talk about it."

“I’m so hurt that I can’t “Shut up!!!”

listen to more of it.”

"I'm angry with myself."

"I am mad at you."

J. L. Wallen gives examples of statements that, in his opinion, allow one to more accurately express oneself and one's states 17 .

1. Description of behavior : message about specific actions of another person that concern you.

“You interrupted me before I finished my sentence.”

2. Description of your own feelings:

“I am depressed”; “I like what you just said.”

You should try to describe your feelings in such a way that they are perceived as dynamic, capable of change, and not as unchanging, once and for all established attitudes. For example, it's better to say: Our discussion of this issue with you causes me great irritation....", how: " You annoy me all the time.”

3. Synchronization. It should be as accurate as possible to indicate the relationship of the experienced states with the actions that caused them, this allows the other to know what kind of behavior in question. For example, you can comment on the actions directly during the meeting, for example: “ What you just talked about makes me feel disgusted..”

What worries is better to discuss right away than to accumulate grievances and then dump them all at once on your opponent.

4. Sayings will be more useful if they have:

a) specific , not a general one. To tell: " You knocked my cup" better than: " You never watch what you do”;

b) checking , not affirmative. It's better to say: Have you talked to N yet?”, how "Why didn't you talk to N?".

c) informing , not a commanding character. It's better to say: I haven't finished yet" how " Do not interrupt me."

5. Use clarifying remarks to make sure you don't make erroneous conclusions about the other's feelings. “ I thought you weren't very interested in my idea. I am wrong?"; “Does my last statement bother you?”

Paraphrase comments sent to you to make sure you understand exactly what your partner meant. Make sure the other person understands exactly what you mean.

6. The least useful statements are those statements that sound like information about another person, although in fact they are an expression of your own feelings, namely ...

a. condemnation another person. “You never show attention.”

b. Sticking a label or insult. “You are a crook.” “You are so rude.”

in. accusation– attributing unwanted motives to another. “You like to humiliate people.” “You always want to be the center of attention.”

G. orders and orders. "Stop laughing." “Don't talk too much.”

d. Sarcasm.“You always look at things optimistically, don't you?” (in the opposite sense).

The purpose of describing one's own feelings is to initiate a dialogue that will improve interpersonal relationships. Negative feelings are an indicator that something is not right in your relationship with the other person and that both of you need to identify misinterpretations and erroneous messages. Ignoring negative feelings is like ignoring a warning signal that indicates that the power grid is overloaded.

Thus, describing one's own feelings should not be an attempt to force the other person to change. Rather, describing the inner state as another piece of information is necessary if each of us is to understand and improve your relationship.

Feelings and emotions are closely related to our inner qualities, they are simply a reflection of what is happening inside us. We are often afraid and deny our own emotions, confuse emotions with feelings, feelings with states.

After talking with people, having attended many trainings and having more than one consultation, we were convinced that people are not at all aware of their emotions. Oh no, they are not insensitive blockheads, they continue to experience the full range of emotions, completely unaware of what kind of emotion they are experiencing at the moment. The simplest and most common question in all trainings and psychological consultations is: “How do you feel now?” - confuses people.

It is absolutely impossible to deal with your problems if you cannot even determine how you feel about this or that person or situation, or about this or that event.

What evokes feelings and emotions

Not only are our feelings and emotions not recognized on their own, but their causes remain a mystery to many.

Emotions and feelings great amount and there is no definitive list of them either in psychology or in physiology. The reason for this is that many emotions and feelings are purely social phenomena. The emergence of new emotions or the acquisition of a different meaning by them is due to the development of society. We do not feel many emotions and feelings at birth, but we learn them from our parents, relatives, friends, acquaintances, and even from TV and the film industry. All of them taken together from early childhood show and tell us what we should feel, how and in what situations. If you do not experience a certain range of feelings and sensations for any specific reason, you are considered strange, not of this world, or even better - insensitive and selfish.

Innate human emotions

In addition to socially conditioned emotions, there are also innate ones. These are the emotions that the baby has. from birth. Some experts rank as innate emotions that appear in an infant shortly after birth, where the social factor and parental training seem to play a minimal role. The list of these emotions is very small, and neither scientists nor psychologists have come to a consensus on which emotions should be included in it. Many agree that joy - contentment, interest - excitement, surprise - fear, anger - anger, disgust, fear - these are the emotions that are innate, the rest we were taught.

We think it's time to "get your head out of the sand" and figure out what we really feel, what caused this emotion in us and who "taught" us to feel this way and not otherwise.

Read and be surprised :-)

BUT

Excitement- an emotional state that is distinguished by a very strong interest in what is happening and a stubborn desire to continue.

Types of gambling:

• Resource excitement - in this state, the efficiency of actions is very high.

Excitement when doing what you love; excitement of an entrepreneur; passion for acquiring new knowledge.

• Excitement is destructive - in it, self-control, as a rule, is lost.

Excitement of the player in the casino.

Apathy - a state of complete indifference, disinterest, lack of emotions and feelings. A person with apathetic manifestations experiences neither pleasure nor displeasure. Often, apathy is seen as the result of severe and prolonged severe stress. It is the product of a defensive struggle against unbearable feelings of despair and loneliness or the threat of death. Outwardly, the manifestations of apathy are in the nature of alienation - "rejection" of the objective world, but the analysis often reveals preserved unconscious attachments, denied or disavowed by the defense.

B

Serenity - unruffled calm state.

Hopelessness - complete despair, no hope.

Security - this is a calm and confident state of mind in a person who considers himself protected from threat or danger.

indifference - a state of complete indifference, disinterest.

Anxiety - an emotional state characterized by a test of excitement, anxiety, inconvenience, an unpleasant foreboding of evil. It arises under the influence of little understood and unknown factors of the external environment or the internal state of the person himself.

Helplessness - a negative state caused by adverse situations that can neither be prevented nor overcome.

impotence - confusion and strong annoyance with the consciousness of the impossibility of correcting a difficult state of affairs, getting out of a dangerous or difficult situation.

Rabies - state of extreme irritation.

Gratitude - a sense of duty, respect and love for another person (in particular, expressed in appropriate actions) for the benefit rendered to him.

Bliss - a state of complete and unperturbed happiness, pleasure, a state of supreme satisfaction, supersensible unearthly happiness.

Cheerfulness - a state of high energy, an excess of strength and a desire to do something.

Pain - a painful sensation that reflects the psychophysiological state of a person, which occurs under the influence of super-strong or destructive stimuli. Mental pain is a specific mental experience that is not associated with organic or functional disorders. Often accompanied by depression, mental disorder. More often long and associated with the loss of a loved one.

Disgust - exactingness, fastidiousness in relation to cleanliness, observance of hygiene rules (regarding food, clothing, etc.).

AT

Inspiration - a state of lightness, the ability to create, a feeling of "everything is possible, everything works out!", doing with enthusiasm and pleasure. A state of spiritual renewal, a new birth, the will to create, spiritual uplift, inner insight and passion.

Fun - carefree-joyful mood, characterized by the desire to laugh, to have fun.

Guilt - an affective state characterized by the manifestation of fear, remorse and self-reproach, a sense of one's own insignificance, suffering and the need for repentance.

falling in love - a strong positively colored feeling (or a complex of feelings), the object of which is another person, accompanied by a narrowing of consciousness, which may result in a distorted assessment of the object of love. Acute emotional experience, attraction to the object of sexual choice. V. can quickly fade away or go into a stable feeling of love.

Lust - craving, strong sensual attraction, sexual attraction.

Outrage - extreme discontent, indignation, anger.

emotional excitement - the same as physiological affect, a condition that reduces the ability of a person to understand the meaning of his actions or direct them.

Inspiration- an increased desire to do something. Inspiration is the forerunner of inspiration, a slightly less emotionally vivid state. Inspiration arises and develops from inspiration.

Rapture - overflowing joy. What this overflow of energy will result in is the next question ...

Delight - joyful state of admiration, radiance from beauty and gratitude for beauty.

Hostility - strong hostility to someone, including hatred, malevolence.

Arrogance - measure someone with a glance, from the height of his greatness - contemptuous arrogance. A negative moral quality that characterizes a disrespectful, contemptuous, arrogant attitude towards other people (to certain individuals, certain social strata or people in general), associated with an exaggeration of one's own merits and selfishness.

G

Anger- targeted aggression through open direct pressure on the partner. The world is hostile. Anger is usually expressed by an energetic, powerful cry.

Pride- a sense of strength, freedom and height of position. Respect for a person, oneself for one's own or someone else's achievements that seem significant.

Pride It's crooked pride. The confidence of a person that he himself is the only reason for his success. “I know for everyone what is best for everyone.”

Sadness- an emotional state when the world around you seems gray, alien, hard and uncomfortable, painted in beautiful transparent gray and minor tones. Often, when you feel sad you want to cry, you want loneliness. In sadness, the world is not yet hostile, but it is no longer friendly: it is only ordinary, uncomfortable and alien, caustic. Usually the cause of sadness is a difficult event in life: parting with a loved one, loss of a loved one. Sadness is not innate, but an acquired emotion.

D

Duality- a sense of duality, as a result of opposing internal urges to do something.

At

Respect- the position of one person in relation to another, the recognition of the merits of the individual. A position that prescribes not to harm another: neither physically - by violence, nor morally - by judgment.

Confidence- the mental state of a person in which he considers some information to be true. Confidence is a psychological characteristic of a person's faith and beliefs. Confidence can be both the result of a person's own experience, and the result of external influences. For example, confidence can appear in a person in addition to (and sometimes against) his will and consciousness under the influence of suggestion. A person can evoke a sense of confidence in himself through self-hypnosis (for example, autogenic training).

Passion (overvalued)- a one-sided and intense passion that occupies an inappropriate place in a person’s life, which has a disproportionately great significance for him, a special meaning. The ability to be strongly carried away by something or someone is associated with a system of personal values ​​and ideals. These are, for example, sports fanaticism, which may hide a feeling of inferiority, or too close attention paid to one's appearance, which may hide self-doubt.

Astonishment- this is a short-term, quickly passing reaction to a sudden, unexpected event; mental state when something seems strange, unusual, unexpected. Surprise arises when there is a dissonance between the imaginary picture of the world of a person and what is actually happening. The stronger the dissonance, the stronger the surprise.

Satisfaction- a feeling of contentment and joy about the fulfillment of one's desires and needs, about successfully developed conditions, one's actions, etc. Satisfaction usually comes when a goal is achieved. For young children, satisfaction can still be brought by the work itself, the process, and not the results of its implementation. In connection with socialization, it is increasingly difficult for adults to receive satisfaction from the process.

Pleasure- a feeling, an experience that accompanies the satisfaction of a need or interest (the same as pleasure). Pleasure accompanies a decrease in internal stress (physical and mental), helps to restore the vital functions of the body. Behind pleasure there is always desire, which, ultimately, as an individual desire, society seeks to control. However, in the process of socialization, there is a restriction of the natural setting for pleasure. Expanding functional contacts with others require a person to control his desire for pleasure, to postpone receiving pleasure, to endure displeasure, etc. The principle of pleasure is manifested in opposition to social requirements and rules and acts as the basis of personal independence: in pleasure, a person belongs to himself, is freed from obligations, and in this respect is sovereign.

Dejection- an oppressed, painful, languishing state (from poverty, illness, other adverse circumstances, due to serious failures).

Horror- sudden and strong fear, internal shudder, the highest degree of fear, permeated with despair and hopelessness when confronted with something threatening, unknowable and alien; dizziness from anticipation of a total fiasco. Horror for a person is always forced, imposed from the outside - even in the case when it comes to mental obsession.

tenderness- a feeling of calm, sweet pity, humility, contrition, spiritual cordial participation, goodwill.

appeasement- a state of complete rest, satisfaction.

Humiliation- individual or group actions aimed at lowering the status of a person, usually in some way that confuses or offends a person. Some common actions that are considered humiliating are insulting words, gestures, body movements, slaps, spitting in his direction, etc. Some experts believe that the key point is that humiliation is determined by the consciousness of the humiliated one. In order to be humiliated, a person must consider this action humiliating. For some people, humiliation is a pleasure and a source of arousal (eg, in sexual role play), but for the vast majority, it is an ordeal that they do not want to undergo. Humiliation is accompanied by an extremely painful emotional shock and affects the most sensitive parts of human self-esteem. If hit too hard, even a modest person can respond with aggression.

Despondency- hopeless sadness, discouragement, loss of hope to achieve the desired or urgent.

intoxication- a state of delight, pleasure, "admiration, delight, moral, spiritual intoxication."

Fatigue- physical and mental state of fatigue, characterized by a weakening of the reaction, lethargy of behavior, drowsiness, inattention. Fatigue arises from overload, from strong tension, from experiencing difficulties, grief, conflicts, from a long occupation with tedious, routine work. Such a state is the result of either poor organization of work or poor health, but the cause of fatigue is a large number of unresolved interpersonal and internal conflicts, which, as a rule, are not recognized.

F

frustration- a state that arises as a result of worrying about the impossibility of achieving the intended goals and satisfying inclinations, the collapse of plans and hopes.

W

Shock (emotional)- a strong emotion, accompanied by physiological shocks. Shock occurs as a result of the appearance in life of a new element to which the subject is not able to immediately adapt.

Psychologists distinguish:

• weak and fleeting shock, at the level of pleasant and unpleasant;
• a shock that causes a more or less long-term disability (strong emotion, loss of a dear being);
• a shock that causes long-term incapacity and thereby even leads to insanity.

E

Euphoria- a mental state of joyful excitement and enthusiasm, accompanied by high spirits, excitement, jubilation.

Exaltation- an emotional state of elevated liveliness with a touch of unnatural enthusiasm, which seems to have no reason. It manifests itself in the form of a dreamy mood, then inexplicable enthusiasm.

Ecstasy- the highest degree of delight, enthusiasm, sometimes on the verge of frenzy.

Enthusiasm- an emotional state that is distinguished by a pronounced self-motivation. A very resourceful state that can quickly fade away.

I

Rage- strong, violently manifested anger, fury, a burst of strong passion with aggressive behavior, an extreme form of manifestation of anger. Active opposition to what we consider evil, the desire to fight, fight for your idea, rights, freedom, independence or other values. A person who is in a state of Rage has little control over his actions in a conflict.

Feelings in psychology is one of the central topics that is of great interest to scientists, as well as to ordinary people. This phenomenon accompanies a person constantly. As soon as we wake up in the morning, we immediately experience certain feelings, which can vary depending on various phenomena. What seems simple and ordinary to us is actually a complex system that has been studied by specialists for several centuries now.

What are feelings

Feelings in psychology are a kind of reaction to various events or phenomena. Human life is impossible without them. And even if it becomes routine, without any vivid experiences, then people themselves begin to look for more thrills, listening to music, watching movies or doing sports, creativity. It is especially interesting that for a full existence a person needs not only positive, but also negative feelings associated with anger, resentment or mental suffering.

Types of feelings in psychology

Since a person's feelings cannot be the same in all circumstances, it is quite logical that they have their own classification. This implies subdivision according to the circumstances or conditions in which they occur. So, the types of feelings in psychology can be as follows:

• Higher feelings are everything connected with society. This refers to the attitude towards people around, the team, as well as the state and society as a whole. We can say that these manifestations are the most stable, since they practically do not change throughout life. This category should also include those feelings that are associated with love, likes and dislikes in relation to other people.
• Moral feelings, a synonym for which can be called conscience, also regulate relationships between people. Guided by them, a person determines his behavior in relation to others. Also, morality and morality largely influence the actions and life position of a person.
• Practical feelings can be considered an integral part of human life. They are related to the labor activity that accompanies people throughout their lives. Here we have in mind not only the attitude towards work, but also the reaction to its positive or negative results. A sense of duty is one of the fundamental concepts in this category, which can be considered the main incentive for work activity.
• manifest in a person from the very moment of his birth. They are associated with a continuous desire to learn something new, analyze, compare and draw conclusions. Over time, due to the maturation of a person, they acquire higher forms and manifestations.
• Aesthetic feelings are the ability of a person to form correct ideas about beauty, reacting to nature or works of art. We encounter this phenomenon every day, evaluating our appearance and those around us, encountering something beautiful and ugly, elegant and tasteless, and so on.

Emotions in psychology

Speaking about such a phenomenon as emotions, many people, due to lack of knowledge, compare them with feelings. But this is not entirely fair. Emotions in psychology are a reaction (namely, an external manifestation) to certain phenomena, events or the action of stimuli. This is a kind of one of the components of such a thing as feelings. Emotions express outwardly what a person experiences deep inside himself.

The emotional process is accompanied by such manifestations as:

• Interest in any phenomena or facts.
• Joy from positive events.
• Surprise, which cannot be attributed to either positive or negative emotions, since it does not give a clear definition of attitude to certain facts.
• Suffering reflects what is caused by negative events.
• Anger can arise both in relation to a specific person and to a group of people (in some cases it can develop into contempt).
• Disgust is a negative emotion that can arise both for animate or inanimate objects, and for some circumstances.
• Fear appears in a person when there is a threat to his safety (this can also be associated with a violation of the usual way of life, the transition to new, unusual circumstances).
• Shame occurs when a person is afraid of the reaction of others to their behavior.

If we express the relationship between the concepts being studied more precisely, then we can say that feelings are an emotional process.

Characteristics of feelings

Feelings in psychology are phenomena that imply the presence of a number of characteristics:

• Valence is one of the main characteristics that define feelings. In accordance with this, a person can experience positive or negative emotions. Also, in some cases, they can be neutral (or, in scientific terms, ambivalent).
• Intensity is the force with which certain feelings arise. It can be insignificant, when it practically does not affect the mood of a person. If the intensity is high, then the external emotional manifestation is appropriate.
• The sthenicity of feelings is a concept that determines their influence on human activity. So, in some cases, they can encourage a person to be active, and sometimes they can bring him into a relaxed, melancholic state.

How feelings affect mood

The mood of a person is largely determined by the feelings that he experiences. Depending on what shade they have, people can behave one way or another, feeling depressed or, on the contrary, inspired. So, we can distinguish the following positive sensations that contribute to the formation of a good mood:

• gratitude associated with a positive attitude towards a person who has done a good deed;
• falling in love - attachment to a person of the opposite sex;
• admiration - is a manifestation;
• tenderness - a positive emotion caused by a person or animal;
• sympathy - a predisposition to another person, associated with his appearance or positive actions;
• passion - a strong attraction to a person or object.

negative feelings

Feelings in psychology are phenomena that can also be negative, influencing mood accordingly. These include:

• jealousy - occurs in case of insufficient attention from loved ones;
• antipathy - unreasonable or justified hostility to a person;
• guilt - a negative feeling that comes after committing a deliberately wrong act;
• hatred - a feeling of hostility and anger addressed to a particular person;
• fear - negative feelings associated with a threat to human security.

How feelings are formed

The formation of feelings occurs through a number of organs that transmit information about the environment to the central nervous system. Thanks to them, a person can see, hear, touch, smell or taste, making one or another impression about the external environment, surrounding people or certain circumstances. So, for example, some feelings may arise in connection with watching an interesting movie, listening to beautiful music, touching a particular surface, and also understanding the nature of a taste or smell.

Another one that is often undeservedly forgotten to be mentioned is He performs such an important function as a sense of space and an understanding of one's position in it. Another point that causes a lot of controversy in the scientific community is intuition, or foresight. Thanks to this mechanism, a person can anticipate the onset of a particular situation, setting himself up in advance for a certain wave of positive or negative feelings.

Feelings and morality

This is one of the highest emotional manifestations of a person, which is expressed in his attitude towards himself, others and society. The formation of these manifestations occurs throughout life. In the course of growing up, a person begins to become more familiar with the foundations and rules of the society in which he lives, as a result of which certain moral values ​​arise. Despite the fact that this category of feelings is considered relatively constant, it can still undergo changes associated with certain events in society or in personal life.

One of the most important manifestations of moral feelings is a sense of duty. This phenomenon is also formed with age, in the process of upbringing and education, as well as self-knowledge. A sense of duty can have several levels and manifestations:

• to oneself - an obligation to achieve certain goals, and so on;
• to others - family, friends, society;
• to the labor collective - conscientious and responsible performance of work;
• to the state - a sense of patriotism and national dignity.

Types of emotional processes

The emotional process is a system of factors that regulate the physical or emotional activity of a person, which occurs as a reaction to phenomena and environmental stimuli. It is worth noting that at the moment there is no generally accepted theory that would give an exact definition of this concept.

Speaking about the emotional process, it is worth noting the existence of several of its varieties:

• affects are short-term, but rather strong emotional manifestations, which can be expressed by intense psychological or physical activity;
• emotions give a person a subjective understanding of the situation, which is in no way connected with any specific objects;
• feelings, unlike the previous category, express the attitude and reaction of a person associated with any specific objects;
• Moods are continuous emotional processes that are associated with the general environment, which includes both phenomena and objects.

What are desires

The lack of any objects or sensations can also cause a certain feeling. Desire is one of the most common forms of manifestation of needs. This is not just an awareness of a lack of any objects or sensations, but also the ability to clearly answer a number of questions posed:

• What exactly do I want? The ability to clearly identify the object in which there is a need or urgent need.
• Why do I want? The ability to determine the motive that gave rise to the emergence of a need for something.
• How to reach the goal? Knowledge or search for certain ways or methods that allow you to get the desired object or achieve some state.

Human feelings associated with desires can arise for a variety of reasons. They can be caused by both internal and external factors. Speaking of the first, it is worth mentioning a personal need or lack of any benefits. Another reason for the emergence of desires may be following fashion, as well as the desire to imitate stronger personalities or leaders of a social group.

Such a feeling as desire can persist for a long time, or it can be quite permanent. In the first case, we can most often talk about emotional needs that cannot be met by material goods. But the desires associated with any specific objects or objects may change or even disappear due to changing trends.

How feelings are expressed

The expression of feelings should be considered not only as a certain phenomenon or process, but also as an objective need that is characteristic of every person. There are a number of specific functions that the expression of emotions carries:

• The communication function lies in the fact that any person constantly needs to communicate. Feelings allow you to express and convey to others your attitude to certain phenomena, as well as to accept similar information from your interlocutor or opponent. People also express their attitude towards each other. It is worth noting that communication occurs not only through verbal communication, but also through gestures, looks, movements and other manifestations.
• The function of manipulation (influence or influence) allows a person to direct the actions and behavior of other people in a certain direction. This process can occur due to a change in the intonation and volume of the voice, active gestures, as well as a certain facial expression. In addition, you can also manipulate others with the help of certain statements that reflect your
• The emotional function is to release feelings. The essence of this phenomenon is that psychological stress tends to accumulate regardless of what events or phenomena it was caused by (positive or negative). By expressing his emotions, a person seeks to free himself from them. By expressing your feelings to the interlocutor (verbally or with gestures), a person can feel emotional relief, as well as relieve nervous tension. Psychologists are aware of cases when the inability to perform an emotional function led to serious mental or behavioral disorders.