Any success is based on effective interaction with other people. The ability to build relationships is needed both in everyday life when communicating with loved ones, and in casual contacts on the street, and, of course, in the business world.
You don't have to be a psychologist to have effective relationships with other people. The practical psychology of relationships is manifested in any communication. A person always intuitively uses some rules and laws, whether he realizes it or not.
But you can still improve your relationships and make them more effective if you consciously apply certain techniques.
Psychology
relationships
The psychology of relationships touches on a lot of different issues: social circle, emotional background, communication effectiveness, influence on another, etc. All these topics are relevant for every person. They help everyone, regardless of gender and age, to understand themselves and make their lives happier and more successful.
After all, each person is part of the world, a large community of people. He must be able to effectively build his relationship with them and with the world. And all relationships are manifested in communication.
To make relationships with others more effective, you need to understand these people. When a person is able to understand another, he begins to treat him more tolerantly and respectfully. And respect always breeds respect in return. Just as the desire to understand another gives rise to his desire to understand you.
is an important principle of relationship psychology. Because understanding gives rise to co-experience and harmony, when communication is equally comfortable for both parties. When there is such harmony, the relationship is valuable for each party, and everyone is interested in maintaining them.
five keys
understanding
Understanding other people means learning to accept them as they are. This does not mean that you approve of any behavior and allow different antics in relation to you. You just need to understand that the other person is different from you. You may not agree with his opinion, behavior, but you must respect his values. And that's when you can create great relationships.
But to really learn to understand another person, you need to master five important principles, five keys of understanding.
Key 1 . Recognize the potential of others
Each person from birth receives a set of qualities that help him fulfill his destiny, the mission for which he came to Earth. Every person is born with some potential. Often he does not even realize his potential, because. as a child he was not helped to reveal himself. But if you approach a person, initially recognizing that he is capable of the best, then all the best qualities will appear in him. This is great art initially see great in man. Your faith and support will help other people become better, discover their talents and change lives.
Key 2 . Listen to hear
As if people communicate a lot, but somehow one-sidedly. Zhvanetsky said this very accurately: He came, asked to enter into his position - I entered, and he had already left. It is more important for many people to throw out what “boiled in the soul”. They do not listen to other people and do not hear. Is it possible to understand someone if you do not hear what he is talking about? When a person really listens and tries to understand, then all barriers are removed, people really meet together.
Key 3 . Do not judge, but understand
If a person evaluates someone below himself, then he is no longer interested in him. And he no longer wants to build any serious relationship with him. People are accustomed above all to a stranger to evaluate. This is how it happened historically. And so they teach that the first impression that has developed in the first 30 seconds is very difficult to change. But why shouldn't the person on the "other end" allow himself to understand you? Not just talk about the weather, but understand what “these words” mean to you, what beliefs you have, what feelings your communication evokes. It is this attitude that allows slightly open in a person that eludes at first glance.
Key 4 . Be honest and open
You should always strive to live without masks and be honest with yourself and with the world. Why pretend to be someone if you are not. Why show something that you do not tend to. It makes no sense to say that you love if you are hostile. There is no point in being silent if it annoys you. Authentic feelings give meaning to relationships. Listen to yourself and be open both to yourself and to your interlocutor. The quality of relationships depends on who we really are, and not on what kind of masks we wear.
Key 5 . Help me get better
It is not only necessary to behave openly yourself, but also to create an atmosphere in which the other person can openly express himself and his feelings. This will help him understand himself more deeply and develop his best sides. Each person can help another to become better, to realize their intentions and goals. Your communication can instill strength and confidence in a person, can give him a boost of energy and inspiration to change his life.
Appreciate
good relationship
What can be higher and more valuable than a good relationship? Appreciate every person who is near you. Thank people for their support and friendship. And be a true friend yourself. and be open, whether or not you are reciprocated. Take the first step towards yourself. Improving relationships begins with a change in your attitude towards people, with the development of the necessary qualities in yourself, with the desire to understand others. And then any relationship will bring you great satisfaction and joy.
Henry James
The psychology of relations between people has always been, is and remains one of the most important, most significant topics for the vast majority of people. This, without exaggeration to say, is an eternal topic in which each of us, regardless of with whom and how he is going to build relationships, must understand very well. After all, our satisfaction with ourselves and our lives depends on how we build our relationships with other people, and to put it even more thoroughly, our happiness will depend on this. Therefore, dear readers, I recommend that you pay special attention to this topic. In this article, I will share with you very useful and valuable knowledge about the psychology of relationships that will help you improve your relationships with other people and save you from many unnecessary mistakes in this difficult matter. You will also learn how to build new, good, desired relationships with anyone you want. And this is guaranteed to change your life for the better and make you happier people. So let's study together this eternal and important topic for all of us.
Well, let's start. And to begin with, let's look at the psychology of relationships as broadly as possible in order to fully realize the range of its possibilities. Dear readers, please note that the ability to build relationships, normal, useful relationships with other people is the key to success, well, if not in all cases, then in most cases for sure. Just think how much of everything in our life, including our internal state, depends on relationships with people. Even if there are not very many of these people in your life, but those with whom you communicate and interact are definitely important to you, and they inevitably influence and quite strongly on you and your life. Therefore, your relationship with them should be, let's say, more or less normal, and even better, good. And these relationships depend on you no less than on them. In general, I believe that each of us should take responsibility for relationships with other people. After all, this is so important - to be able to build relationships and maintain them in such a way as to receive from them not only benefit, but also pleasure. To do this, we must take responsibility for this ability on ourselves. Do you agree with me? I'm sure you agree. That is why, I believe that every person should be interested in the psychology of relationships. After all, people are such complex creatures, they have such a rich and mysterious inner world that it’s so easy, without special knowledge, to build with them, well, if not ideal, then at least more or less normal, satisfying your needs and desires, very not so easy.
I also want to tell you that the psychology of relationships should be studied not only from books or articles like this one, but from your own life experience. Friends, learn to draw deep conclusions from your relationships with other people - remember that everything that happens in your life happens so that you learn something. Every event in your life, whether good or bad, is a lesson you need to learn. You can benefit from your own life no less than from many of the most intelligent books, you just need to be very attentive to everything that happens to you and think about it. And as for knowledge, there are many, many, so many that your life will not be enough to master even a small part of them. Therefore, try to choose those that are closest to your life. And relationships with people - with the opposite sex, with parents, with children, with friends, with bosses and with subordinates, and so on - this, in my opinion, and I hope in your opinion too, is a very close to life skill. Therefore, knowledge related to it must be obtained at the expense of many other knowledge, on which your life depends to a much lesser extent. After all, the most important thing in our life and in particular in relations with people is attention, our attention with you. The quality and success of our life with you will depend on who and what we give it to the most. You will pay attention to, let's say, the wrong knowledge and the wrong people, you will become [or remain] unhappy, dissatisfied people with your life. And start giving it to what is needed and to those who need it - everything will be fine with you. I hope you understand and agree with me. Well, now let's talk about the psychology of relationships in more detail.
The meaning of relationships
In everything in this life there must be a meaning, because it is in everything, but we do not always see and understand it. There is this meaning in relationships with different people, but for each of us it can be different, depending on our needs and desires. This is not important, your vision and understanding of this meaning is important. From my point of view, the meaning of any relationship is joy, harmony, peace, love and happiness, no matter what you see it in. Also, with the help of relationships with other people, including with the opposite sex, we satisfy our various needs, both physical and spiritual. In fact, the satisfaction of these needs makes us happy people. But here it is important to understand that the most important thing in relations between people is not to take, but to give. This is the meaning of relationships - to give people joy, to give them love, to make them happy. You can always take what is yours, but giving back is much more difficult. Those who prefer only to take can never build serious, strong, reliable, long-term, happy relationships with other people. You've probably noticed this, perhaps even in your own example. How often do we see how people make claims to each other because they lack something or want something, completely without thinking about the other person, about their partner, friend, comrade, just a random acquaintance. Is it nice to be with such people? Do you want to do something for them? Is it possible to fully open up to them? After all, we see that they do not care about us, they just want to get something from us and are not going to give us anything in return.
Now let's think about what the essence of the relationship is. From the foregoing, we can conclude that we need, as far as possible, to get to know and converge with such people with whom we can build normal relationships in order to receive benefit and pleasure from them, in order to fully enjoy life, achieve our goals, successfully overcome difficulties in order to generally live their fate happily. Without normal relationships with normal people who you can trust, who you can rely on, with whom you can share the most intimate - you simply will not be able to live a full life and fully enjoy it. Thus, the essence of relationships is pleasure and benefit, as well as the opportunity to fully open up next to another person. You may not be able to build relationships with all people that will help you fully open up, because not all people can be allowed into your soul, but only those who deserve it, who can brighten it, and not spoil it. But as for the benefit, it can be extracted from relationships with all people, whatever they may be. Benefit, but not pleasure - keep that in mind.
Relationships can be different, depending on who you are building them with and for what purpose. But if we are talking about such relationships that should fully satisfy us, then it is quite obvious that they should be built only with worthy people. Let there be few of them, and there should be few of them, the main thing is that these are people with whom you will feel good, to whom you can entrust the most intimate thing that is inside you. And, as we found out above, these should be people to whom you can give a part of yourself, for whom you can do good, with all your heart, and not be afraid that they will use your kindness against you. After all, it is pointless to give something to those people who can only grab and give nothing in return, who perceive someone else's kindness as a weakness that they seek to take advantage of. Therefore, it is pointless to build relationships with such people, expecting from them something special, something sublime, something reliable and eternal, which they are simply not able to give you. Born to crawl, he cannot fly. So don't expect more from some people than they can. And you don’t need to give them anything - you don’t need to throw pearls in front of those who trample it. Look for the right people for the kind of relationship you want and need. But do not forget that they need the same worthy people as themselves. Let's say relationships with the opposite sex are only as strong as how well people fit together. You cannot find a good husband by being a bad wife, or a good wife by being a bad husband. And if people who do not correspond to each other do converge, then one of them will certainly begin to suffer. I saw in my life a lot of incompatible couples, and I knew that the relationship between these people would not be long, that the time would come and this whole, initially shaky structure would collapse, which later happened. You have to be able to choose people to build with them - normal relationships, the kind of relationships that you need, and not try to change people to fit your requirements. And you yourself must correspond to the person with whom you are applying for a relationship. And only then can we talk about such things as respect, love, understanding, and so on, which gives a person pleasure from relationships with other people, and in which we see the essence of relationships. As for the benefit, as I said, it can be obtained from relationships with any people, you just need to find the right approach to them in order to extract this very benefit from them.
I don’t know what kind of relationship each of you, dear readers, needs at the moment, but I want to say that building a serious, reliable, lasting and generally successful relationship always comes down to building a kind of system, and a rather complex system, which will reflect your personal qualities, and the qualities of those people with whom you build these relationships. To build this system, you need to have the necessary high personal qualities, which naturally need to be developed in yourself, first of all in yourself. And only then these qualities must be sought in other people. After all, a serious relationship between people is a high degree of organization of these people, requiring from them responsibility, decency, discipline, honesty, openness and many other higher human qualities. Therefore, building normal relationships can sometimes be very difficult if you and those with whom you are trying to build them are not sufficiently developed. You and I know that some people, for various reasons, can only squabble among themselves. They, to their own regret, do not know how to build normal relations with each other, for them this is an impossible task. Such people often conflict, always try to use each other and often betray people close to them. They don't know anything else. Therefore, in order to build, let's say, great relationships, you need to develop as a person, to be aimed at understanding, first of all, yourself, your behavior, your motives, desires, weaknesses. This will help to understand other people better, and what is especially important, thanks to this, a person will become tolerant of many undesirable phenomena in life, because of which he instinctively goes into conflict with others. After all, the less a person understands, the more he may dislike and the more conflict he may be. Relations with people need understanding and patience, then they will be stable.
The purpose of the relationship
The purpose of a relationship determines its meaning. We talked about the meaning of relationships above, now let's talk about what goals you can pursue by building relationships with different people and how relationship psychology can help you with this. The goals of the relationship can be very different, and therefore, the relationship can also be different. For some, relationships with other people, and in particular with the opposite sex, is a desire to get their own without giving anything in return, but for someone, this is a mutually beneficial exchange when people help each other satisfy various needs, when they are useful to each other. Well, someone wants to maintain just normal, friendly relations with other people, without any obligations, so to speak, for the soul, that is, to satisfy spiritual needs, to be more precise. But at the same time, one must always remember that any relationship must have a clearly conscious goal, goals. This is necessary so that, firstly, there are no unnecessary people in your life who distract your attention to themselves, and even more so people who can harm you, and secondly, so that you understand not only your own, but and other people's goals and tried, to the best of your ability, to help other people achieve them, so that they, in turn, would help you achieve your goals. After all, people also maintain relations with you for a reason, you, too, should be something interesting, useful, and beneficial to them.
Well, so that people do not derive one-sided benefit from your relationship with them - always try to find out why they maintain relationships with you or are trying to establish them and why you yourself maintain relationships with these people. Also, think about what other relationships you're doing this to the detriment of. After all, you cannot pay attention to all the people in your life, without exception, and even more so to those potential partners and friends that you don’t even know about yet, but whom you can meet in the future. Therefore, you need to choose - who of them is worthy and who is not worthy of your attention. Therefore, it makes no sense, if there is no goal, to maintain relations with those people from whom you have absolutely no benefit, either material or spiritual, even purely hypothetical, and even more so with those who harm you, with whom you are uncomfortable, who give you pain and makes you suffer. Do not forget that life is not so long as to spend it on unnecessary things, meaningless deeds, and even more so on people you do not need.
So never forget the goals you want to achieve by building and maintaining relationships with certain people. Just think about what your needs, desires and feelings underlie your desire to build relationships with different people and with each specific person. What do you want from other people? And what can you and are ready to offer them in return? Do you think this exchange is fair? Do you think other people, another person, will think the same way? For them, your approach to relationships, your desire to get something from them, and your ability to give them something in return - will look attractive? Be sure to think carefully about these questions before you start building relationships with other people based on your interests and desires. Think about what other people might want, don't ignore their interests, but consider them. After all, if you can approach the issue of relationships not only from the standpoint of your own interests, but also from the standpoint of the interests of other people, then it will be easier, much easier for you to build these very relationships with them. And there is a high probability that these relations will turn out to be mutually beneficial and mutually satisfying, and, thanks to this, quite strong.
Relationship Art
Now let's talk about the ability to build successful relationships with people, which we can well call art. Under the art of relationships, I, among other things, about which a lot has been written and said, understand the ability of people to make concessions to each other when necessary. And for this you need to be able to pacify your Ego and curb your egoism. Most relationships come to a standstill just because no one wants to give in, everyone stands on his own, everyone considers himself absolutely right and does not want to sacrifice something for the sake of relationships with other people, including his own truth. But if you do not give in, if you always stand your ground, there will be no normal relations. It is clear that it is also unnecessary to yield always and to everyone, otherwise people will get on your neck, and this will also contribute to the destruction of relations with them, because you cannot be a servant to other people, wanting to maintain normal relations with them - this corrupts them. It is precisely because of the difficulty of determining that situation and even the moment when you need to give in to another person in order to maintain or build a relationship with him, and I call the ability to make concessions the art of relationships. Do you understand the difference? I do not call compliance itself an art, but the ability to yield when necessary. You need to understand, and sometimes feel, when and to whom it is worth giving in in order to save, save, build relationships, and when you need to rest against the horn and stand your ground to the last.
So, the question is, how should we treat other people so that they, in turn, treat us the way we want it? Good? Badly? Or how? You know, it's not so easy to answer this question. It would seem that you can simplify everything and say that you need to treat people the way you want them to treat you. And this is true, but not in all cases. Wise people know that other people do not always mirror our attitude towards them to us, and sometimes some of them need to be treated very badly in order for them to treat you well. Therefore, the following phrase would be more correct - you need to treat people the way they deserve. But what kind of attitude each individual person deserves to himself is quite difficult to find out, for this you need to get to know this person properly, to understand what he is like. And to be kind to everyone is wrong, just as it is wrong to be evil with everyone. This means that you need to give in only to those people to whom you can and should give in, and only when it is necessary. So for building successful relationships with other people, competent compliance is a very valuable skill, which I call the art of relationships. There are other useful skills that are also important, but this skill, in my experience, is especially important.
Psychology of relations between a man and a woman
In general, the relationship between a man and a woman is a rather subtle form of cooperation, and where it is subtle, it often breaks. Such relationships require from people, as I said above, the ability to yield, the ability to negotiate, the ability to be useful to each other. And so many men and women see in relationships with each other an opportunity to make only their lives better, they do not take into account and therefore do not take into account the interests of their partner and live according to the principle - either me or me. Well, it’s impossible, you see, we are people, rational beings, we don’t need to rely on strength in relations with each other, but on common sense. It is impossible to live happily, building relationships with the opposite sex on fear and violence, on the dependence of one person on another, on the use of one person by another, or, as is now customary, on a consumer attitude towards each other. A man and a woman are two parts of a single whole, they are created for each other, and not to oppose each other, that's what is important to understand. They should see each other as their own reflection and treat each other as each of them treats himself - with understanding and respect. To come to this, you need to know about all the advantages of normal relationships, then people will have a desire to build them, and they will build them, because they have such an opportunity.
You can still very often hear that the relationship between a man and a woman is based on their sexual attraction to each other. In general, this is true, but only partly, from the point of view of physiology. We have a need for intimacy with the opposite sex, and we strive to satisfy it, so we show interest in the opposite sex. But we are talking about psychology, first of all, about the secrets of our mysterious soul. And our soul requires not only bodily, but also spiritual pleasure. So, tell me, dear readers, did you have such a thing that, looking at a person of the opposite sex, you felt at first a slight excitement, gradually turning into an ever-increasing heat in your chest, accompanied by some completely inexplicable, but very pleasant experience, as if something beautiful and wonderful awakens in the depths of your soul, something bewitching that begins to embrace you from the inside, allowing you to experience incredible bliss? I hope that you have experienced something like this in your life, and if not, then rest assured that the time will come and you will definitely experience it.
I want to note that it is not so easy to describe in words all the feelings that people can experience when a special person appears in their life. I’m sharing my own experiences with you, so I don’t even know how to describe them correctly, how to convey to you that state when you seem to feel light in your soul that fills you from the inside and your soul, not the body, but the soul is pure , bright, eternal, reaches out to the soul of another person, wanting to merge with it into a single whole and dissolve in eternity. Is it love? Maybe. Most likely love. But this is not some kind of earthly love, but a kind of love that, once born, can live forever, and which allows us to feel like something more than what we know about ourselves. And against the background of this great feeling that we are able to experience, which we can enjoy, is it possible to speak of the relationship between a man and a woman, as a relationship between a female and a male? After all, when you know that there is such a feeling that is born in the depths of your soul and that can make you truly happy, don’t you want to experience it, don’t you want to enjoy it forever? Of course you want to. Therefore, no, friends, the relationship between a man and a woman should and can be much more than just sexual attraction. We just need to get to know ourselves better to understand what we can get if we strive not for primitive relationships with each other, but for such relationships through which we experience great bliss.
Summing up all that has been said, I want to note, dear readers, that the psychology of relationships does not stand still - it constantly learns something new about people and their relationships with each other, which allows us to better understand ourselves, our needs, desires, opportunities, from on which our behavior depends. Whatever relationships we are talking about, whether it be relationships between a man and a woman or relationships between friends, work colleagues, parents and children - they are all one way or another the result of our desire to make our lives better. We cannot be loners, we are social beings, so in any case we need to interact with each other in some way. And if so, then it is probably better to do it in such a way that we all feel good, if possible, that we are all satisfied with our relationships with other people. Is it possible? I think so. It is only necessary to adhere to certain rules that bring the necessary order into our lives. About the most, in my opinion, the most important of them, I told you in this article. We must understand that without certain self-limitations, a person cannot be a person, or, if you like, a superman, which we all want to see in ourselves and others. Not strength and not fear, but reason and love should form the basis of our relationships with other people, then these relationships will be successful and happy.
Great love and guarantee are incompatible concepts. Because of the search for guarantees in relationships, we often miss life itself, opportunities and lose all chances of being happy.
"There is nothing more permanent than temporary," says an Eastern proverb. Probably, you should not always look for something permanent, great love and a guarantee of a long-term relationship. Nothing is guaranteed in this life. It is only guaranteed that we were born and that one day we will die. Because of the search for guarantees, we often miss life itself and its possibilities, the diversity of its colors. We miss what is next to us, what could fill us - even for a short period of time, let it be not a story or a novel, but a quatrain or even one sentence, but if we do not chase the horizon, then these quatrains and sentences can fill us up and prepare us for stories and novels. And who knows, maybe someday the most permanent will happen from such a "temporary" one.
Women are looking for long-term, secure relationships in which they can have a baby, gain psychological security and relax. A woman wants to find a man who belongs exclusively to her - she is ready to build relationships with him and deepen them all her life. The woman is more down to earth.
The man is the wind. He is a conqueror by nature. Constantly conquering different women, he asserts himself in his eyes. This does not mean that he does not need a permanent woman - he needs, he needs a reliable rear, a harbor to which he can always return after his campaigns and victories. And if you allow this "liner" to go to the open sea and surf the expanses of life and other women, then he will always happily return to his harbor.
Usually this is followed by the question: "So, he will now fuck right and left, and I will sit at home and wait for him?". Firstly, no one can fuck right and left all his life, when the limit comes, after which sex becomes not the main thing, but the person becomes the main one. But if you hold back sex, then it becomes an obsession. Secondly, if one person is free in a relationship, then the other is free as well. There is no freedom for one. There is a big risk in this, but love lives in freedom.
In order for us to learn something, we need to experience a variety of relationships. We will never understand the value of a relationship if we have not had other experiences. In order to find "that", one must go through the set of "not that". White writes on black, and if you write white on white, then we will never see what is written. If we do not have negative experiences, we will never understand the value of positive ones, we will not notice them at all.
You need to go through a variety of relationships, to know and recognize different people, and then, one day, you can really find your own. And if you assign every person you meet and seek loyalty from him for life, cling to him, then you will definitely never find your own.
And we all cling, we are big owners. Entering into a relationship with someone, we demand that the other person belongs to us, and only to us. So that from now on he would look only at us, love only us, be interested only in us. But is it possible? We are all living people, and if we are interested in one person, then another person may be interested in the same way. You just need to admit that if someone else liked us once, then he might like someone else, even with the best of relationships. (cm. )
Sometimes, in order to appreciate what we have, it is necessary to go a distance, to know a different experience, a different relationship. We are alive, we are not dead - we want to communicate with others, to see admiration and recognition of ourselves in their eyes, to learn new things, to bring something fresh into our lives, because any relationship eventually becomes mechanical and routine. We like our partner, we are ready to continue our relationship with him further, but we are also interested in other people. And we would love to "ventilate", but we are afraid that we will lose what we have - therefore we control the other, and the other, in return, controls us. And in these deadly embraces, we slowly die, dreaming of getting rid of them.
By allowing another to act and live as he understands, we acquire value for ourselves. The other can leave us, he can cool off towards us for a while, anything can happen - even in nature there are ebb and flow, day and night, summer and winter. The intensity of feelings cannot be maintained 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, otherwise we will simply burn out. Therefore, in any relationship there are phases of activity and passivity, you just need not be afraid of them.
Even if another person leaves us, he can return to us again, and then the relationship will acquire a completely different quality, a different value, they will be renewed, because the other person will look at what he has in a new way, and we ourselves will be able to appreciate the person and what we have. And what has already ceased to have value due to everyday fuss, familiarity and mechanicalness in relationships, will shine in a new way, acquire new colors, new value, because, moving aside, we rediscover what we have.
And it is possible that our partner will find a new interest and go further to seek his happiness. It is useless to cling to what is leaving - it will either return on its own, in a new capacity, or it will not return, and we need to rise and go looking further. And we are afraid to go out and look. These relationships were given to us with difficulty, and again to go and go out into the open swimming is just scary, we do not believe in ourselves, nor in the fact that we can find something else. Therefore, we never let go, we cling to the last, spoil relationships and leave them crippled, with lost faith in men or women. We come out of relationships with wounds.
If we still relatively easily enter into relationships, then it is very difficult for us to leave them. We enter and lock the door behind us with all the locks, throw away the keys and even forget where the door is. And then we bang our heads against the wall, trying to get out. And all because of mutual possession.
It is useless to demand freedom from another; one must always begin with oneself. And we usually make claims to another, not realizing that possession is always mutual. The Other possesses us only because we possess him.
"There is nothing more permanent than temporary," says an Eastern proverb. Probably, you should not always look for something permanent, great love and a guarantee of a long-term relationship. Nothing is guaranteed in this life. It is only guaranteed that we were born and that one day we will die. Because of the search for guarantees, we often miss life itself and its possibilities, the diversity of its colors. We miss what is next to us, what could fill us - even for a short period of time, let it be not a story or a novel, but a quatrain or even one sentence, but if we do not chase the horizon, then these quatrains and sentences can fill us up and prepare us for stories and novels. And who knows, maybe someday the most permanent will happen from such a "temporary" one.
The first kiss with a guy, how sweet and exciting it can be. How much more ahead he promises to experience happy experiences. A new romance is always the beginning of an unforgettable story, during which you will learn a lot of interesting things about your man. But I really want to quickly understand what the object of sighing really is, and what emotions lie in his soul. At first, the matter is very difficult, but His Majesty the Kiss can help in this. Yes, yes, it is the manner of kissing that will tell you what to expect from your soul mate. What can you learn about a man after the first kiss?
4 kissing techniques and types of men
So, all men according to the nature of their kiss can be divided into four types.
1. Quick kiss
His first kiss is intense, with his lips or tongue tense a little more than necessary. The activity of the partner has a slightly hysterical connotation; in fits of passion, he loves to bite.
In most cases, the initiative in relations with such a man belongs to the girl. And no matter how confident he looks, you will always make the rules. His opinion is that you need to entertain your beloved to the best of your ability and ability. And how to do it - let her decide. Therefore, do not be selfish and bring your man to such entertainment that will be of interest to the two of you.
He is able to change his hobbies, rushing from one extreme to another, and therefore talk about eternal love should be taken with extreme caution. It's better to check your feelings with time.
His pathological sociability leads to flirting and new acquaintances, and if you are jealous, then the man is not for you. On the contrary, if you are self-confident, calm and balanced, you will become an ideal couple that will cause envy among others.
2. Confident first kiss
He kisses hard, decisively and powerfully, not only for the first time, but always in general. Some, the most critical girls, associate such a kiss with a spoon dangling in their mouths.
This is a reliable man with whom it will be easy and calm. From him you will not expect a storm of emotions and romantic delights. Most likely, he adheres to the traditional view of any things. And until you get to know each other a little better, you should not drag him into an extreme environment, bungee jumping or snowboarding.
With such a man, a measured family life awaits you. And keep in mind: if he fell in love, he will stubbornly lead you to the registry office. But if there is no wedding in his plans, he will do everything possible not to be at the door of the wedding palace.
Do you dream of spending your evenings in the company of a faithful husband who can support and encourage you? Then you are simply made for each other. But if you crave adventure, an explosion of emotions and crazy days, then this person is not for you.
3. Gentle first kiss
He kisses gently, as if he is afraid to damage your tender lips, and hugs carefully. Often such kisses turn out to be wet, sometimes even more than we would like.
Such a man is very affectionate and caring. Yes, this is not an extravaganza of passions. But in his soul lies so much unspent tenderness! For a successful relationship, you will have to guide and encourage him. Of course, he himself knows what to do. Just for this type of men, the support of a loved one is extremely important. And then he will follow you to the ends of the Earth.
And do not hope to re-educate him if you want to see next to you a male leader, a self-confident fighter. It's easier to find someone who is more attractive to you.
4. A sensitive first kiss
Kissing him is a pleasant unknown. He can kiss as he likes, in any of the ways described above, smoothly and naturally moving from one to another.
What can be said? You got the grand prize. Hold him tight, because this man knows about his attractiveness. Relationships with him are based on mutual understanding. But in order to meet his expectations, you need to keep the brand. If you are self-confident, expressive, then your union will last a long time. But if you have no desire to constantly defend the title of "Ideal Woman", then it is better to immediately run away from him without looking back.
Relationship Psychology Books: 20 Great Options + 5 Best Free Download Sites + 6 Times to See a Psychologist
While everyone is looking for gifts for their significant other for Valentine's Day, you download Bridget Jones's Diary from the Internet and invent a "legend" about what grandiose plans you have for the festive evening?
After all, there is no beloved / beloved, and it is unlikely that Providence will send it to you exactly in time for the holiday!
Or do you still feel like a pimply sixteen-year-old teenager with your parents, despite the fact that the neighbor's children have long been speaking to you in “You”, and your colleagues call you Semyon Semenovich?
Classics of the genre: 5 books on the psychology of relationships that even your grandmother heard about
There are books on the psychology of relationships that are worth reading if only to sip champagne at a party and languidly say about them: “Well, honey, this is a classic!” and gain a reputation as a well-read person:
Two from the casket: 5 best books on the psychology of relations between a man and a woman
If personal life is flying to hell or is completely absent (the cat and girlfriend Tanya do not count), we advise you to read the best books on the psychology of relationships in love:
“A group in striped swimsuits swims beautifully!”: 5 interesting books on the psychology of relationships at work
“To live with wolves - howl like a wolf” - is your credo in relations with colleagues? And what if you lead this flock? Catch a list of interesting books on the psychology of relationships in a team and leadership:
V. Shapar “Psychology of manipulation. From puppet to puppeteer.
Don't you see anything shameful in throwing your work to a colleague, and rushing off "into the blue distance" yourself for your childhood friend Seryoga's birthday?
The word "manipulator" is sweeter than candy for you? Read this psychology book and learn!
E. Shatskaya “School of a bitch-2. Career - I made it.
Evgenia continues in her book to "throw pearls" from practical advice and witty statements about building business relationships.
A must-read for those who dream of the laurels of a real business woman.
A. and P. Vladimirsky "Secrets of a successful careerist."
This work relationship book won't "discover America," but it's a great read for those who are just starting their career journey and want to transform from an enthusiastic student into the new Miranda Priestley (The Devil Wears Prada movie).
D.Maxwell "21 Irrefutable Lessons of Leadership".
The book is suitable for those who love the style of American business literature, that is, a minimum of vocabulary, a maximum of tips “chewed” to the state of gruel.
It will become an excellent reading material in a minibus or subway, as the text is divided into short chapters.
S. Godin “There is a leader in everyone. Tribes in the age of social networks.
“My boss, seeing how I gush with ideas, but I can’t “ignite” others with them, highly recommended reading the book by Seth Godin. He also made me tell you what I learned from it.
As a result, a corporate newspaper was founded, a grandiose holiday was held for our clients, and I organized Mafia game evenings for employees. I think now you can safely ask for an increase in salary ", - Olga, pr-manager, shared her experience of reading the book.
Fathers and Sons: 5 Best Books on the Psychology of Parent-Child Relationships
Books on the psychology of relationships with your “bead” will tell you how to raise a full-fledged child (or maybe not just one) and stay sane and blessed memory:
D. Haffner "From diapers to first dates."
Even if on TV the whole country was broadcasting that there was no sex in the USSR, the need for proper sex education has not disappeared anywhere.
Especially if you yourself, through the fault of your parents, have “jambs” in this area. With this sphere of relations and offers to deal with the book.
D. Gray "Children are from heaven."
Most likely, you will regret that your parents did not have such a book at one time.
Written easily and clearly.
J. Korchak "How to love a child."
This Pole knew what he wrote in the book, because at one time he died refusing to leave Jewish children in the ghetto.
Y. Gippenreiter “Communicate with a child. How?".
This book will teach you how to raise an independent person without "suffocating" with your love.
No one will ever say about your grown-up offspring that he is a “sissy”.
P. Druckerman "French children do not spit food."
Did you know that for a French three-year-old, clearing the table or putting the dishes in the dishwasher is quite an ordinary thing?
And a six-year-old child can easily be sent alone for shopping in a nearby store?
Read about how to raise a self-confident, relaxed little man in the book of an American who lived in Paris for a long time.
Svetlana from the Ukrainian city of Kamyanets-Podilsky, the mother of 4-year-old Andrey, said:
“This book really blew my mind a little. Now I try not to dismiss my son, even when catastrophically busy.
And he can also knead the dough for muffins for me, and sweep in the hallway. Cleaning up toys after yourself is generally a sacred duty and is not subject to discussion.
"One, two, three, four, five, I'm going to look for you": 5 best sites to download books on the psychology of relationships
In order not to waste precious time looking for the best, in your opinion, books on the psychology of relationships, we advise you to pay attention to the following Internet resources:
One of the aspects in the study of the psychology of relationships is the concept of "falling in love". For information on how to understand that a man is in love with you unconsciously, see the video:
Step march to the psychologist! 6 situations when no books on the psychology of relationships will help
In some situations, you should not rely on even the best books on the psychology of relationships:
It seems to us that reading is never as useful as studying relationship psychology books.
After all, if you can do without another “masterpiece” by A. Marinina or a new part of the Harry Potter saga, then a conflict with a loved one or “office” wars will not “rake up” by themselves ...
Useful article? Don't miss out on new ones!
Enter your e-mail and receive new articles by mail
