By actively transforming any difficult situation, a person changes significantly, but these changes are usually unintentional and unconscious. However, sometimes people find themselves in situations where only a conscious change in their characteristics can lead to well-being. Overcoming is actions focused on achievement, on success, on changing a practical difficult situation. They are associated with effort and energy expenditure; involve a high level of self-regulation, the search for information, intense reflection, and the involvement of other people in the orbit of their actions.

What behavioral techniques do people most often use in difficult situations? They can be combined according to strategies for transforming difficult life situations: protection, coping (overcoming and adaptation), and experiencing.

Defense techniques are most often included in a special group of maladaptive reactions to difficulties: resigned humility, depression, depression, as well as avoidance of difficult situations, suppression of thoughts about the source of difficulty.

Overcoming is actions focused on achievement, on success, on changing a practical difficult situation. They are associated with effort and energy expenditure; involve a high level of self-regulation, the search for information, intense reflection, and the involvement of other people in the orbit of their actions.

By actively transforming any difficult situation, a person changes significantly, but these changes are usually unintentional and unconscious. However, sometimes people find themselves in situations where only a conscious change in their characteristics can lead to well-being. In this case, changing one's own characteristics and attitudes to the situation becomes the main strategy or is an integral part of other strategies.

1. Adaptation techniques

• Adaptation to the institutional aspects of the situation (social norms, public attitudes, rules of business relations, etc.). Having mastered this technique, a person easily enters the world of law, morality, culture, labor, and family relations. Under ordinary social conditions, this technique is a prerequisite for success. For example, it helps in adapting to new working conditions or in the case when the newlyweds are forced to live with their parents, etc. However, the technique has its limitations: it often does not work in situations of social upheaval, when lifestyle changes dramatically (old rules are no longer in operation, and new ones have not yet formed).
• Adapting to the idiosyncrasies and needs of others can be of great importance in situations of social upheaval. Studies have shown that this technique is most often used in times of crisis in the development of society. It is no coincidence that this technique is used by those who survived the hardships of the Second World War and the post-war period. Another technique of adaptation is close to it - concern for establishing and maintaining social contacts.
• Take on a role and act accordingly. People use this technique in situations where their own personal characteristics become a source of difficulties and painful experiences (for example, shyness or self-doubt, which do not allow them to successfully adapt to new working conditions, ask for help, etc.). This technique is based on the conscious use of the identification mechanism. A person finds a role model (it can be an acquaintance who has this missing quality, the hero of a film or book, personifying confidence) and in a difficult situation takes on the role of this character: he begins to move differently, speak differently and even feel differently . Since he does not fully identify himself with the chosen role, but only “plays it,” he attributes all his mistakes and awkwardness not to himself, but to the chosen character. This helps not to feel embarrassed, not to reduce self-esteem in case of failure and to be more free from the opinions of others. Studies have shown that with a successful choice of role, its performance helps to cope with a difficult communication situation, causes noticeable changes not only in behavior, but also in personal attitudes and values ​​(F. Zimbardo, J. Moreno, etc.). At the same time, flexibility is acquired, and it is not the role that takes possession of the personality, but the personality - the role, using the role as a tool, as a means for restructuring one's behavior in various situations.
• A common form of adaptive behavior is often identification with more fortunate people or identification (identification) with powerful organizations and associations. This technique is resorted to by people who have suffered failures and disappointments, the cause of which they can see in their lack of the quality of “luck”. By identifying with successful people, they, as it were, supplement themselves with special abilities, and when they become functionaries of an authoritative organization, they not only get the right to feel that they belong to it and talk about “our successes”, but actually begin to feel strong and act more confidently and successfully.
• Determination of the limits of one's capabilities - this technique is usually used in case of a sharp change in life circumstances. It is most pronounced in those who have become disabled. Such people are forced to drastically change their lifestyle. First, they "determine the limits of their capabilities": like a person entering a river in an unfamiliar place, or a person walking through a swamp; probe the measure of the preserved abilities and try to compensate for the lost. Note that almost all people who find themselves in new or complicated circumstances resort to the same tactics.
• Anticipatory (from Latin anticipate - anticipation, prediction of events, a pre-prepared idea) co-ownership and anticipating sadness is a technique used by people who have experience of failure or expect the inevitable onset of a difficult situation (for example, the death of a sick relative, their own serious operation, etc. .). This technique has an adaptive value: it allows people to psychologically prepare for possible difficult trials and outline in advance ways to prevent unfortunate twists of fate. Like any other way of coping with difficulties, anticipatory coping can be both productive and unproductive - depending on the characteristics of the life situation.

An example of the productive use of anticipatory coping is the experience of preparing children for an upcoming operation, widely used in a number of foreign clinics. Nurses, under the guidance of a psychologist, organize special role-playing games where the entire operation situation is simulated (from preoperative preparation to the return of small patients to the ward, final recovery and discharge home). Such preliminary psychological preparation can reduce the preoperative anxiety of children and significantly speed up their recovery (Ross D., Nisbett R., 1999).

A striking example of an unequivocally unproductive anticipatory coping is the “symptom of St. Lazarus,” which psychologists discovered when working with some families of HIV-infected people. It consists in the fact that family members begin to treat the sick person as if he is already dead and mourned (to the extent that they avoid communicating with the sick person, openly prepare for the funeral, collecting money for the wake of the still alive, refuse to pay for dental treatment, etc.). P.)

2. Auxiliary methods of self-preservation in situations of difficulties and misfortunes

These techniques include techniques for dealing with emotional disturbances caused by unrecoverable, from the point of view of the subject, negative events.

Such is the withdrawal or flight from a difficult situation, which can be carried out not only in practical, but also in a purely psychological form - by internal alienation from the situation or suppression of thoughts about it (refusal of promotions, from tempting offers, avoidance of all dubious situations often becomes in people who have experienced many disappointments and failures, a personality trait). Such people themselves define their way of behavior as "the last line of defense."

A common self-preservation technique is denial—refusing to accept that a stunning, traumatic event has occurred. M. Horowitz considers denial as a psychological barrier to the destructive penetration of a traumatic event into the inner world of a person, into his value-semantic conceptual system. Denial allows a person to process tragic situations in small doses, gradually assimilated by the semantic sphere of the personality. After the assimilation of a catastrophic event, the consciousness of a person, his attitude to the world change, a new assessment of life and his own capabilities appears, the space of a personal future in his mind increases.

Techniques of transformation and adaptation can be both typical for a person and situation-specific; both main and auxiliary. The following techniques are commonly referred to as situation-specific: “seize the chance”, “resist”, “identify with the goals and fates of other people”, “hope”, “adjust your expectations”, “rely on other people ”, “self-affirmation”, “show aggression in the form of action or criticism”, “delay the satisfaction of one’s needs”, etc.

3. Techniques to use in case of failure

Speaking of situation-specific techniques, consider those that a person applies in those cases when, despite all his efforts, he fails to change his life situation for the better: the problem remains unresolved and the person is forced to admit that he has failed. After all, if a person has set himself a difficult task, projected its solution as part of a future life, was full of confidence in its solution, and mobilized enormous forces to cope with it, then defeat is experienced as the collapse of the personality. If a person has not experienced major failures before, has not been in distress, he is extremely vulnerable. His mind resists accepting reality.

In such a situation, a person seeks at any cost to maintain or restore a positive attitude towards himself, a sense of personal well-being. The most commonly used techniques that devalue failure, which are based on the action of psychological defense mechanisms. They do not require from a person a painful restructuring of their attitude towards themselves and can reduce the severity of emotional experiences. Among these methods, we note the following.

• Devaluation of an object. A person reduces the importance for himself of what he aspired to, but could not achieve (admission to a university, marriage, completion of a dissertation, etc.). Thus, he devalues ​​his failure (“This is not the most important thing in life”, “Do I need it?”) And tries to write the sad situation in the history of his life as an insignificant biographical episode.
• Correction of their expectations and hopes. Since failure is a painful event for a person, forcing him to abandon the value for which all forces were mobilized, a person can resort to correcting expectations and hopes. Often this takes the form of minimizing needs. Undoubtedly, such a technique saves from failures, but it impoverishes the future of the individual and by no means raises her self-esteem.
• Acceptance of the situation - accepting it as it is. In practical psychology, this technique is sometimes called "patience" or the phrase "let go of the situation" is used (the meaning of this expression is to stop unsuccessful overcoming actions to change the situation). This is not a passive response to difficult circumstances, but a conscious decision that a person makes after analyzing his life situation and comparing his situation with the situation of people who are in even more distress. This technique is quite appropriate for a situation of severe illness or disability that limits a person's capabilities.
• A positive interpretation of your situation. This technique is similar to the previous one. It consists in the fact that a person uses various comparison options: compares himself with those who are in an even more unenviable position (“downward comparison”), or recalls his successes in other areas and situations in approximately the following form: “Yes, I did not achieve this, but on the other hand ... ”(“ ascending comparison ”). Many people remember such protective phrases of one of the not very successful heroines of the popular film by E. Ryazanov “Office Romance”: “I live outside the city, but next to the train”, “My husband had a stomach ulcer, but Vishnevsky himself did the operation " etc.

There are opinions that adaptation to circumstances indicates an inability to master one's life, a passive strategy. However, in real life, everything is not so simple: sometimes a temporary adaptation acts as a wise strategy that takes into account the objective features of the situation and life prospects for experiencing a difficult situation for a person.

The simplest example of this is the situation of entering a new team: a person reasonably refuses certain forms of behavior and self-affirmation in order to get a job in a prestigious company and be accepted in a new team.

A more complex option is adaptive submissive behavior in the name of freedom in the future. “In difficult times, people begin to implement long-term programs of struggle for individual freedom, they are aware that in order to acquire freedom, it is necessary to be prepared for a lot: to obey the will of the leader or autocratic power, to comply with its decisions and decisions. In this case, do not offer any resistance. Submissive behavior is a kind of maneuver that allows you to achieve emancipatory goals in the future.

Let us leave each person the right to independently choose from his repertoire those strategies and techniques that will help him cope with life's difficulties. Not everything in his life he can change. At best, a person can, with sober reflection on the situation, direct his efforts to correct what is changeable and find ways to coexist with what cannot be changed.

If you are faced with human behavior that, at first glance, seems inadequate, do not rush to conclusions. Carefully consider and analyze the features of his life situation. The following questions will help you with this.

• What are the objective features of the situation in which a person exhibits inappropriate behavior? Perhaps his inappropriate behavior is "a normal response to an abnormal situation"?
• How does the person himself interpret the life situation in which he finds himself?
• In what broader context is this situation “fitted”? Who else participated in it? What is the relationship between the participants? What events took place in a person's life shortly before this situation? How significant is this situation for a person? and etc.
• Formulate preliminary hypotheses about the life situation of a person. If you are faced with the fact that a person does not respond to the powerful influences of life, think about it: perhaps the information you have about him and his situation is erroneous or incomplete. Or you inadequately assess his situation and there is a discrepancy between your vision of the situation and how the person sees it.
• In such difficult cases, be sure to try to understand the features of the image of the human world. It is especially difficult to provide psychological assistance to the two extreme options - the infantile image of the world (it is sometimes called the "personal concept of a prosperous world") and the super-stable, rigid image of the world. In both cases, people strive to maintain a positive self-image at all costs and are often like an ostrich that hides its head in the sand in a situation of danger. They ignore unfavorable information, try to discredit the source of information that lowers self-esteem, while resorting to various forms of self-deception.
• Be sure to give the person a sense of ownership of the situation - especially for those people who need help. Offer them help so that their sense of effectiveness and self-esteem does not decrease, but rather increases, giving them confidence that they will be able to cope with life's adversities, and the courage to take responsibility for their own destiny.
• Be especially careful in cases where people cannot (even if they realize the need to do so) change old habits. It is useless here to accuse people of inertia, stupidity or base motives. Instead, it is worth analyzing more deeply about the dynamics of external and internal forces that keep a person from changing.

In order to holistically understand the characteristics of human behavior in a situation and the possibilities for transforming the situation, we must consider:

• those "secret functions" and "psychological benefits" (real or imaginary) that a person's habitual mode of behavior performs;
• those invisible forces that impede change (this may be, for example, group standards existing in his work or family environment; fear of failure formed in past periods of life, etc.);
• think about the factors that can be used to create the conditions for productive change.

Natalia Georgievna Ocykhova, Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Developmental Psychology, Moscow Pedagogical State University (MPGU), practicing psychologist.

There are tips that teach a person to defend himself if he is in a difficult situation. But very often such advice is not only unable to help, but can also destroy. Just about such advice - myths and will be discussed in this article.

If you are attacked by a shark, you must hit it in the nose

This advice is complete nonsense. Just imagine such a picture. Can you swing hard in the water to hit hard? This is unlikely to work.
If, nevertheless, a shark attacks you, it is best to pick up any solid object and hold it so that it forms a kind of shield between it and you. A swim board will do. In the event that there are no solid objects, act on your own. Gouge out the shark's eyes or damage the gills.

If you suddenly get into a rip current, you should swim parallel to the shore

The very fact of falling into such a current, when you can’t do anything and you are increasingly being carried away from the shore, is terrible. But, if the current takes you away from the shore, then really try to swim parallel to the shore.
But you need to know that the current usually moves not in one direction, but in different directions. Therefore, in order not to be carried too far, it is necessary to swim perpendicular to the current.
Try to save your strength and you will feel that it is much easier to swim in this way than if you were fighting the current. If you feel that you can not swim out, then try to stay afloat longer until someone helps you.

A canopy is the best shelter

In general, if you find yourself in a forest - whether you get lost or are just going to stay in this place for a while, you need to build a canopy or make it from improvised materials. Because the circumstances dictate it. Also, shelter is necessary in order to hide from the raging elements. If the weather is too hot, then shelter must be made in a place where there is shade. There you can rest.
But the canopy is only good for that. But if a strong wind starts and it gets cold, then there will be no use from such a shelter. You won't be able to sleep on cold ground because you won't get warm. In this case, it is necessary to build a hut in which you must lay a warm bedding so as not to freeze at night.
Therefore, the advice that first of all it is necessary to take care of the canopy does not always work.
We have dismantled three myths, there is no point in hoping for them. Therefore, be careful and prepare for any event in advance, be it a vacation or a regular swim in a pond. It must be assumed that being in the wild you can always encounter difficulties.

To terrible news, a painful life situation, whether it is a serious illness of a loved one or oneself, betrayal, divorce, loss, conflict at work, in the family or with a friend, each person reacts in his own way. But for everyone, this is an unpleasant surprise, maybe even a stab in the back. Such an event is a crisis for a person and his family, it completely changes life. It can become a stage of development, or it can become a step towards regression or a stop, or it can destroy the entire established way of life. In any case, after such news, life is divided into “before” and “after”.

How to cope with this and withstand the "blows of fate", how to build your life in order to solve the problem with the least losses, where to get the strength to endure, move forward and continue to live on? What to do in such a shocking stage.

Principles of survival in a crisis period

1. Support. Seek and find support from loved ones in your family and friends. When you feel supported, you will feel stronger and more secure. And you will already be a support for children and elderly parents (and not only), because your confidence, calmness and sanity are so important to them.

And if such a situation happened with a friend, how to help and how to support? Advice, general phrases can not help. You need to be there, even if there is a feeling that you are not doing anything useful. Very often it is enough to say: "I know that it hurts you, I'm here, I'm there." Healing begins when there is someone to keep silent about trouble or grieve together.

3. Do not hide what happened from family members. Nothing destroys a relationship like a family secret or secret. And besides this, it takes a lot of strength, so necessary at this difficult moment. The secret creates a sense of anxiety, others still feel that something is wrong, they may experience guilt, rejection (they are not trusted), etc.

4. Do not hide a difficult situation from friends. Friendship is not only for joint leisure, it is not for nothing that they say that a friend is known in trouble. With a friend there is an opportunity to speak out, with him you can be weak and defenseless, he will not condemn and understand everything. A friend will always help and support. Friendship is a huge resource.

5. Stay real with common sense and facts. Fear has big eyes, you can fantasize anything. Fear paralyzes and does not allow to analyze and act correctly in the current situation. Panic is more dangerous than the worst diagnosis or terrible news. At the same time, there is no need to be careless about what happened (everything will resolve itself). You should not escalate additional horror, but you should not embellish the situation either.

6. Cry. If you feel that tears are coming, cry. (Even if you know that men don't cry!) Tears relieve emotional stress, purify the soul, reduce the pain of a spiritual wound, and help to accept what happened. Unshed tears continue the destructive work inside the psyche, undermine health.

7. Stay positive. A crisis situation raises from the bottom of the psyche all experienced difficult situations - resentment, betrayal, conflicts, fears. “It’s not easy for me, but here it is! For what?" The main thing is not to go into negativity, cursing everything and everyone, not to enter the state of the victim, and lowering your hands to wait for the situation to be resolved. This is an opportunity to take an active position, to take the solution of all the problems of your life into your own hands, and at the same time deal with past traumatic situations. And ask yourself the right question - not “why do I need all this?”, But “why is this situation given?”.

But this can be done not earlier than strong grief, grief, does not turn into less intense feelings of sadness and sadness. The pain and shock of what happened does not go away quickly. You have to give yourself time. It must go through the burning process.

8. Understand what is happening to me. A difficult life situation greatly undermines the resource, all the forces are spent on somehow calming down and finding a way out. And when there is no strength, everything that previously slightly annoyed, interfered a little, begins to cause unbridled aggression, a conflict or quarrel can arise out of nothing. There is a growing fear of one's own powerlessness, the inability to control oneself and the situation. As a result, exaggerated importance is attached to what is not worth a damn. After all, it’s not for nothing that they say “trouble does not come alone.” There is only one way out - to understand what is happening to you, and to accept this state - not to fight it yet. Explain to others (you can not go into details - if you do not want to) that now is a difficult period in your life. If necessary, apologize politely. As soon as you stop fighting with yourself and others, you will have more strength, it will be easier to remain calm.

9. Understand that any situation is an acquired experience. A crisis situation is also getting rid of illusions. Epiphany can be bitter, but this is a meeting with reality, a person begins to understand what is really happening. The realization comes that not everything in life can be corrected, you can only survive. All you have to do is accept it and move on.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross scale

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, an American psychologist of Swiss origin, proposed a scale - the stages of a difficult, traumatic life situation. This scale helps to determine what is happening to you at the moment, and what will be the next stage. If you don't "get stuck" and allow yourself to go all the way and complete this experience of yours.

1. Shock, blow, shock. Sudden loss of strength.

2. Denial, rejection. - "No, it can not be!"

3. Anger and anger. Irritation and rage. Urgent search for the culprit.

4. Fear and depression. The appearance of depression is associated with rising feelings of shame and guilt. There is almost no energy, the resource drops to a minimum.

5. Sadness, sadness. Breakthrough feelings that heal the psyche. The first sign of acceptance.

6. Acceptance. A difficult event and a changed situation are taken for granted. The world has changed, and this no longer causes protest and confrontation. Energy begins to increase, strength arrives.

7. Farewell. There is a release of what it is time to say goodbye to. With the illusion of another life, with dreams, plans, hopes that were “before” and have sunk into oblivion.

8. Search for meaning and return. Everything that has happened begins to make sense. The experience gained is integrated and woven into the overall fabric of life. From that moment on, it becomes something that you can rely on. It becomes your property and part of your identity. You have become more mature.

9. Clarity and peace in the soul. The understanding came that the world around had changed and became different, but did not collapse. Something is gone forever, something had to say goodbye - with some plans, illusions, dreams, their own ideas about how it should be. Life crises are stages of development and maturation, a necessary change in order to live on. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Quite often in life we ​​are faced with a difficult situation when it is difficult to find the right solution or the correctness of one of the solutions is not obvious. Advice from relatives and all kinds of acquaintances, recommendations on how best to act specifically in your situation can only further complicate the matter, because sometimes they are contradictory or do not coincide with your desires. There are no universal recipes, but the following few theses, rules that always work will help to resolve the controversial situation in the best way.

1. In order not to regret the decision made or not to doubt its correctness after some time, you need to abstract from the current situation. And for this you need to remember yourIt is possible that not all of your decisions will be consistent with your values ​​and serve the benefit of vital goals, but at least they should not contradict them.
2. No matter how difficult, intractable, or even tragic the circumstances that have arisen may seem, it is necessary to ask the question: “What good can this situation give me?” In any situation, at any confluence of events, there is something vital for you right now, otherwise they would not have arisen. We, one way or another, create all situations in life ourselves, having provoked them with previously made decisions and views on life, ourselves and others. In order not to wander in eternal uncertainty, the universe periodically gives us feedback to further adjust our thoughts, views and actions. What we have now can be regarded as the lesser evil of the possible or as a challenge, a new step for personal growth.
3. To find the strength and wisdom in yourself to resolve this situation in the best possible way, remember what qualities and properties attract you most in other people. It is these character traits that you now more than need - you need to find them in yourself, allow them to express themselves, develop them and educate them. To take control of the situation and not need control over others, it is enough to control yourself.
4. It would be a mistake to constantly striveand problems. First, by focusing on troubles, we tend toattract them into your life, and secondly, it diverts attention from the main desired goal. Therefore, the most reasonable thing is to independently imagine the best scenario of your life and move in the chosen direction without fear of difficulties. They are inevitable, but surmountable.
5. In many ways, you should like what you do, how, where, in what environment you live. This is a necessary condition for happiness and the rule of happy people. Based on what pleases you in your life, with an adequate positive assessment of yourself, you can successfully change what does not suit you.
6. Forget about your shortcomings, focus on your strengths, develop them and improve. Remember that there are no people without flaws, the true value of a person is in his manifested abilities and developed inclinations. Especially in difficult situations, remember your previous achievements and previously correctly made decisions, they will motivate you to behave the same way now.
   
7. To learn to accept yourself and your not the best, as you consider qualities, starttreat yourself with humor. After all, humor relieves tension, gives a respite and helps to painlessly and objectively look at the complexity. And, by the way, as you know, there are no completely negative character traits; what you consider bad and unworthy can also be put to the best use. When you think about it, be sure to remember the cases in your life in which it was useful to you that you tend to criticize in yourself.
8. Do not change goals, but correct your behavior in a timely manner, what helped before may no longer have the same strength. Change means, subgoals, but not the main goal itself - to live happily! Try to stay here and now as much as possible, be flexible and attentive in order to correctly interpret what is happening. And do not give too much knowledge to the criticism of others, no matter what you do, everyone interprets based on their experience, values ​​and tends to see in others what is already in themselves. And he does not see what is not inherent in him.
9. Whatever non-standard or ambiguous situation you find yourself in, imagine at least three more or less suitable ways to get out of difficulties. Sometimes we get stuck on one or two possible ways to solve a problem without noticing the others. The more options, even incredible ones, you can think of and name, the more confident you will feel and the easier it will be to find the right solution among all possible ones.
10. No matter how hard, painful, sad you are, remember that nothing is eternal: day follows night, sunny weather becomes rainy. Learn to treat difficulties as temporary, especially since they are so. It is the black bars that help to fully appreciate the best moments of our lives. And a positive attitude, hope for the best and faith in oneself are often decisive in overcoming difficulties.

We give advice right and left that there is a way out of any unpleasant situation, and not even one. We tune in to the positive and try to console others that not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance. But when we ourselves are overcome by troubles that are coming from all sides, the advice that we ourselves offered looks simply ridiculous and helpless.

What to do in a difficult life situation, where you see one dead end? There are practical tips on how to proceed in this case.

1. First of all, try to calm down and stop. No need to quickly rush into the pool with your head and take incomprehensible actions that can lead to even bigger problems. You need to pause and decide where you are and how you ended up in this position. Take some time to think about why it turned out the way it did, and not completely different. When you can find the entrance, then you will find the exit in one moment.

2. Effective advice on how to get out of the impasse is to get rid of the emotions that overwhelm you at that moment. Fear, anger, disappointment interfere with normal concentration in front of the resulting problem. Often, our negative emotions, which take on a huge scale, we make an elephant out of a fly, and it’s done, we don’t see any way out, one dead end. If you want to smash something to smithereens - do it, if you want to scream and swear - go ahead, give vent to your anger, do not keep destructive energy in yourself.

3. When you are overcome by complete devastation, only then will bright thoughts begin to come into your head and everything will become clear from a different angle. Prepare yourself tea with lemon and ginger, or make yourself hot coffee, energy drinks will help your brain work faster. Take a piece of paper and start writing down absolutely all ideas for getting out of an impasse, even the most absurd ones, in such cases all means are good.

4. Do not think alone, seek help from your comrades and loved ones who have not turned away in difficult times. There is a proverb "One head is good, but two is better." Perhaps they will offer their own options that will be useful to you, because sometimes it is more visible from the outside.

5. The next step will be a full analysis of the proposed ideas. Consider all the pros and cons. Make three thorough plans to get out of the crisis. Plan A and B are the most effective, and Plan C is the back-up. Clearly thought-out scenarios, several options, give much more percentage of success than one.

6. In a difficult life situation, gather your strength and spirit and begin to put into action your anti-crisis plan. Going step by step, not stepping back, you will achieve what you want and get out of the troubles surrounding your life, and understanding what to do will come by itself.

7. In difficult times, people who care about you and to whom you are very dear will help you survive misfortunes. Don't push them away or isolate them from your society, let them help you. You can even ask them for help yourself, in such situations you understand who the most devoted and faithful people are.

8. In our life, we rely a lot on circumstances, while realizing that they do not bode well. You can't do that. We create our own destiny, so pull yourself together and do not let circumstances take over you.

9. Another effective way to get out of a deadlock is to exclude people with. In the environment of each person, there is sure to be such a person who will exaggerate and lower faith in yourself. Such people do not see happiness and positive moments, they have only one negative around them. If possible, avoid them, do not let them lower your self-esteem, otherwise, you will panic and give up.

10. When you are in trouble, look for something that will motivate you during the time that you get out of the current situation. Strive to associate with those who believe in you and know that you can withstand any blow.

11. In difficult moments, you should not be afraid to take risks and think about mistakes, everyone has them. It will be stupidity that you will sit idly by. Each of your mistakes will be a lesson from which you will draw useful and necessary information for yourself.

12. Do not listen to those who say that they know how you better live and be. They will constantly remind you and poke you for past mistakes. Send them away from you, let them hang noodles on the ears of others, the same losers as they are. This is your life and only you can decide if you can get out of trouble or not. Believe in yourself and you will succeed. You are not a loser, but a winner!