In a person's life there are many complex and sometimes hopeless, impasse situations. And often people do not know what to do and how to get out of the impasse.

Today, on the site of psychological assistance in difficult life situations website, you will read the recommendations of a psychologist and learn how to find a way out of critical, seemingly hopeless situations in life.

Desperate situation - life's impasse

In most dead ends in life, people wind themselves up. And most often, any hopeless situation is only regarded as such by the person himself, because. at this critical, stressful moment, he cannot fully, to the fullest extent, use his intellect, knowledge and skills.

When a person is under stress, he thinks stereotypically, and on emotions - he is annoyed or depressed.

What is a stalemate, a hopeless situation in a person's life?
A psychological impasse, or a hopeless situation in life - it is also called a stalemate - is when a person cannot make the right life choice, is unable to find a solution to a problem, or does not know what to do under any difficult or critical circumstances.

He is under stress, depression or neurosis at this moment, therefore he cannot think and act adequately to the situation “here and now”.

What to do if you find yourself in a critical, difficult life situation?
The first thing to do in a crisis, deadlock situation is to understand in advance for yourself that there are no hopeless situations.

You can always find a way out of the circumstances and make your choice.

Prevention of crisis and hopeless situations in life
In order to prevent crises - to have as few of them as possible in life - you need to constantly expand your worldview - to make a wider model of the world, a map of reality.
And not to live constantly in stagnation, in your "comfort zone".

In other words, in order for you not to have serious impasses in life, you need to constantly engage in personal growth and self-development.

"Constantly" is a lifetime. Then you do not have to look for a way out of the impasse - you simply will not get into it.

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation

If you have ALREADY found yourself in a dead-end, crisis situation, then you need to immediately get out of it. First of all, by relieving stress and changing the attitude towards the problem itself.

How to find a way out of a dead-end, hopeless situation?

1. You can relieve stress almost instantly, for example, by relaxing with the help of psycho-training, deep breathing, or by changing your negative thoughts about the problem to more positive or neutral ones;
2. After you normalize thinking and emotions, you will be able to assess and adequately characterize the problem (often, only by changing your attitude, the problem disappears on its own);
3. If you have few obvious choices, for example, only two, you will be able to rationally and adequately (without nerves) expand your worldview and see other possibilities for solving the problem;
4. If all choices are evil, then the lesser of several evils is chosen;
5. If you can’t get out of a hopeless situation on your own, resort to help ...

Help in a difficult life situation

When people cannot get out of life's impasse on their own - they are under stress, depression, "on the nerves" - then professional, psychological help is needed in crisis situations.

After the removal of neurotic symptoms, it will be possible to find a way out of almost any hopeless situation.

Consult online psychologist-psychoanalyst Matveev Oleg Vyacheslavovich

From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem to us either intractable or insoluble at all.

In such cases, having despaired of finding a way out of the existing situation, we are especially in dire need of an objective and sober view from the outside. But where to find it, this interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can we find a truly wise person who, in difficult times, will help us this only path, the thread of Ariadne, tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?

We very often entrust this responsible decision to our relatives or friends. This has its advantages. First, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their "outside view" will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply do not know who else to turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a decision are also obvious: it is unlikely that the decision of your loved ones will turn out to be the best - if only because they do not know the whole depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. This is known only to you. But what then to do in such cases?

There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know it. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation. There is a solution. And if it’s hard for you to believe this, then think about how you are looking for keys that were not in the usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?

In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we need to take a paradoxical path: to make it look like the problem has a solution, as in school textbooks in physics and algebra, all the answers to the tasks are given. All you have to do is find the relevant pages containing all these solutions and select the relevant answer. And in order to find those pages with answers to all our questions, we will need the so-called wise man technique: a psychological exercise that will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most complex problems of life to a minimum.

The wise man's technique is performed just once, and after that you get answers to any, the most difficult questions of life arrangement. However, for this to actually happen, the technique must be done very thoroughly and seriously. It consists in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image further accompanies you as a talisman. It will be like a genie that you can call out of the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him about it.

How a wise person is created? The imagination of a person is so strong that he can come up with almost everything that you can imagine. If you want to imagine for a moment what a pink tree will look like, then you can do it. You can easily create the desired pictures and images. You can also remember and reproduce the sounds of your favorite melodies, sing their motive to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you wish, you can see the picture and hear how it can sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes some sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: we present pictures, we hear voices, and we can even see a full-color movie with our own participation.

In order to create a wise person, you will need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner ear that you have. You do not need anything supernatural and amazing imagination. Wisdom, as a rule, is measuredness, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange-colored jeans and his hair is dyed in a viscous blue color, then I will not be surprised at all. Because your wise person can be anything. He can be with or without a beard, it can be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, conversely, very young. If only he satisfies one important rule: the appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwisdom and enlightenment.

It may take some time to create a wise person. Do not feel sorry for it, it will bring you great benefits, which can then be calculated in months and years, if we are talking about the time we spend looking for this or that solution. It is best if no one bothers you at this time, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise man. If you have found such an opportunity, you can proceed to the implementation of the technique.

Step number one. You will need a pen and a sheet of paper. Get it all ready and then try to relax. Nothing needs to be done, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember some of your past experiences, and this will be easy, because you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember a few times in your life when you found a way out of a difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke the vicious circle, when the situation was successfully resolved? Speak also to yourself about your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with in order for everything to fall into place? As soon as you remember this and say it, mentally put a tick or a cross, as people do when winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs on their palms to remember, and move on to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (or more) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once everything is ready, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: "I did this and that, and my problem such and such was successfully resolved." Or: "I came up with such and such, and after that everything fell into place."

Step two. There are different types of wise people, and for each person they can be very different. Someone is convinced by a beard, someone by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can be emphasized by certain clothes, age, or the presence of certain details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Maybe he even reminds you of someone? How would his voice sound? Fantasy boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a sheet of paper, fixing its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you can even draw a little. You should also decide where to meet your wise person. Perhaps it will be a quiet darkened office, or a hot desert, or an autumn forest. If you can't imagine something, then just think about how it would look if you could do it. Thank God it's easy to think about what people or things might look like. It's easy to think about what your wise person will look like.

At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise person. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think about so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not spare words, describe it in as much detail as possible.

Step three. After you can imagine your wise person whenever you need to (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), return to your list of those cases and situations in which you found a good solution and got out safely, and add one more such situation to this list. It will be easy, since we find a lot of similar decisions in our life. Repeat everything in exactly the same way: remember what a good solution you came up with, how you felt immediately after the situation was discharged, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.

Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: lean back in your chair or take a supine position. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present. Focus on it for a minute, that will be enough. After that, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears before you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?

As soon as you ask a question to your wise person, you will instantly receive an answer. It can be of any property: memory, image, picture, voice, phrase, and any other. Think about what you got. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. You have received some important information that contains the answer to your question. You just have to understand what the wise person wanted to say by giving you this information.

In the future, during repeated meetings with a wise person, you can agree with him on ways to exchange information. You can find out what his name is, and for this it is quite enough for you to simply ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then, when asking your questions, you just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be that when you meet you do not hear a voice, but you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Do not forget to thank him for meeting with you and trying to help you.

There are no restrictions on meeting a wise person. You can turn to him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream that you had. In a dream, you can get very important information that will help you make the right decision. Good luck to you! And thank you to your wise man, whom you will meet very soon. I thank him for listening carefully to all this.

Vit Tsenev

• < Техника «Разговор с ребенком»
• Four Techniques - How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts >

In the life of every person there are situations from which, it would seem, it is impossible to find a way out. In such cases, the main thing is not to give up and not lose confidence in yourself. To get rid of problems and stop the flow of failures, use effective methods.

Life is unpredictable. As experience shows, every person has encountered situations from which it is very difficult to find a way out. At such moments, it seems to us that it is already impossible to return peace and harmony to our lives. However, it is not. It turns out that in many cases a person invents problems for himself, which causes a feeling that a black streak has begun in life. If you're having trouble, don't get lost and depressed. Instead, pull yourself together and try to resolve a difficult life situation. Three simple but effective ways will help you with this.

Method one - stop the internal dialogue

Not always our thoughts are correct and reasonable. Sometimes the inner voice is our indispensable assistant, but in difficult situations we too often succumb to emotions. Because of this, it is impossible to make the right decision.

Before you pause your internal dialogue, ask yourself again:

• What tools are available to me to deal with this situation?
• Is the situation really complex and hopeless?
• Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions?
• Are my thoughts correct in this situation?
• Is there another way to look at this situation?
• Is it true that my situation is so terrible?
• Do my thoughts help find a way out of this situation?

After asking yourself the above questions, try to answer each of them. After that, very often it turns out that the problem is just a figment of your imagination. In fact, your situation is not as deplorable as you think.

If you have come to the conclusion that there really is a problem, start looking for ways to solve it. By answering the first question, you will be able to find out what tools and options are available to you to deal with this situation.

Sometimes thoughts only bring us down and do not help us find the right way out. In this case, action is required. Perhaps, once again thinking about your problem, you are only delaying time. By answering the last question, you can summarize and proceed to the solution.

Method two - rely on life experience

Everyone has faced difficult situations at least once in their life. Based on life experience, you will be able to find the right solution to the problem both in the present and in the future.

In difficult situations, you can rely not only on your own, but also on the experience of loved ones. As you already understood, at such moments the help of others will not hurt you. You can choose a friend or relative as an adviser. You need to fully open up to the person and describe in detail the picture of what is happening. To understand the complexity of this problem, ask the interlocutor to be as frank with you as possible. Perhaps with the support and advice of another person, you can solve the problem.

If you do not want to share your problems with others, try to get the most out of your own experience. Remember: you may have had to deal with a similar nuisance before. Consider what advice you would give your friend if he were in your position. At the moment, the solution to your problem depends only on you, and the answers to the questions posed may be hidden in your past.

Method three - find the source of the problems

Environment, work, memories of the past - all this can be the cause of your problems. It is necessary to understand your life and understand what could have caused this situation. If you realize that there is a burden in your life that prevents you from moving on, you need to immediately get rid of it, otherwise difficulties will haunt you all the time.

Try to analyze the problem again and think about what led to its appearance. Sometimes the reason lies precisely in our environment: the friends we trust and with whom we share our experiences are sometimes not the ones they try to impersonate. In this case, their advice and help will only harm you. Sadly, in this case, there is only one way out - to break unnecessary ties. By getting rid of useless relationships, you can eliminate difficulties and change your life for the better.

Work is one of the common causes of our difficulties. Pressure from the authorities, the intrigues of colleagues, low wages can drive us into the most hopeless situation. Consider: maybe you are in the wrong place right now. In this case, do not be afraid to change your life and boldly go in search of a new job. It is likely that soon you will get rid of problems and discover new talents in yourself.

Sometimes we ourselves are to blame for our troubles. We make unnecessary acquaintances, waste time in vain and try to cling to the past. In this case, you need to conduct a thorough work on yourself. Learn to get rid of negative thoughts and make only deliberate decisions. Always plan your actions and do not let random situations ruin your plans. In this case, you will learn to control your life and be able to overcome any difficulties that come your way.

People tend to help each other in difficult situations. However, sometimes, without noticing it ourselves, we hang other people's problems on ourselves, because of which they automatically become ours. To avoid difficulties, find out

This is a stupor that hinders any development. If a person is confused in life, he ceases to enjoy what he has. Neither work, nor family, nor hobbies inspire. The desire and desire to move to new heights disappears. All due to the fact that ahead, as it seems, is a dead end in life, and there is no sense and joy in anything.

When life has reached a dead end, it is important to find a way out of it as quickly as possible. Otherwise, you risk being depressed. And the solution is always on the surface. It's just that the available options do not always satisfy us and motivate us enough to immediately start implementing them. Sometimes we need to step over our “I”, somewhere we need to lower the bar, and sometimes we need to admit we were wrong. And getting out of the impasse seems like a daunting task. But everything will not be so terrible if you look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that this is not your problem and look at it like an outsider. Talk to yourself as if your friend is asking you for help. Without emotions and experiences, it is always easier to find a rational solution.

If you are not left with the feeling that the steering wheel has been pulled out of your hands or you are locked, and there is no way out of this situation, self-torment begins. You either withdraw into yourself and your problems, or think about how to get out of the impasse. Perhaps you yourself have driven there. What's the best option here? The answer is obvious - to find a way out of the impasse as quickly as possible.

Where to start looking for a way out of life's impasse?

Take a time out

When you don't know what to do now, don't do anything. Let go of thoughts and concerns. Stop delving into your memory, looking for the reasons for all failures and tormenting your brain. Just let yourself rest. Sometimes a minute pause is enough for the decision to come by itself.

Get rid of anxiety

Don't panic ever! Vanity clouds our consciousness and expends energy. Save energy for constructive thinking. Think about the situation soberly and from the side of an outsider. If the problem is solvable, then the right path will eventually be found, and you should not worry. If the situation is unsolvable, then all the more there is no point in wasting energy on soul-searching. Direct it to parallel life tasks.

Source of inspiration

Start letting as many bright thoughts and promising ideas into your life as possible. Motivating videos, biographies and recommendations of successful people, quotes from philosophers, life films. Use everything that gives you inspiration, aims at the fight, makes you look for non-standard solutions. The exit from the dead end is nearby. Sometimes you just need to look around to find it.

What to do with the impasse in life next?

So, let's look at the main steps towards solving the problem:

Step One - Believe that you can take the first step.

Only faith in one's own strength will help overcome fears. There will definitely be a way out of the impasse. You can sit and wait for everything to change on its own, but only if you are absolutely sure that you are still ready for change.

The second step is readiness for change.

The slogan of the pioneers "Be prepared. Always ready” is relevant in our time. You have caught a dead end in life, what to do - you do not know. Finally, it seems to you that you have made the right decision - to change jobs, break off burdensome relationships, or close an unpromising business. And you do it. But for some reason you don’t get joy from what is happening. The reason for this is your unpreparedness for such cardinal and, as it seems to you, rational changes. The new job will also not bring pleasure, you suddenly realize that the relationship was not so bad, and the business should not have been closed, but directed in a different direction.

Ask yourself the question, how to get out of the impasse most painlessly? Maybe before you change jobs you need to learn new skills, accumulate capital, find a nanny for a child. Prepare the platform. Then change the situation radically. After all, if you want to jump with a parachute, then first you need to acquire them. Then you will be ready for freedom at an altitude of 9000 meters above the ground.

Step three - buildup.

A dead end in life plunges us into a stagnant state. In order to "rock" yourself, you need to remember what it is like to be energetic, reckless, lofty and purposeful. Remember yourself in this state, try to experience these emotions. This will help bring you back to life. If you have dreamed all your life of repeating the experience of a week-long hike in the mountains, or going in for luge, or living in China, studying the culture and customs, decide to do it while at a dead end in life.

Step four (and most important) is the challenge.

Challenge yourself. This will allow you to get out of your comfort zone and re-evaluate what is happening. Such a shake-up stimulates brain activity, increases self-esteem, gives a boost of energy for the next steps. No, you don't have to become a World Swimming Champion if you dare to finally learn how to swim. But this skill can affect very different areas of your life. The most important decisions come to us at unexpected moments, and not at all when we torment ourselves day after day looking for them.

What challenge are you talking about?

• Sign up for dances, even if you consider yourself "wooden";
• Run a marathon;
• Give up the phone and the Internet for a week;
• Go on vacation to the mountains, not to the sea;
• Float down a mountain river;
• Set a goal for 21 days to get up at 6 am and go for a run;
• Learn 5 poems;
• Learn to play a musical instrument;
• Pass the casting in the cinema;
• Write a book;
• Go to the puppet theater;
• Sign up to volunteer;
• Meet three new people in one day, etc.

Think less, analyze less, just challenge yourself and take the risk of doing something you've always wanted to do.

Life's dead end is our visual representation. In fact, life is beautiful and full of new opportunities. Relax, tune in to a positive wave and get on with your life. All situations are given to us for rethinking, hardening and transition to a new level of self-development. Get ready for the changes that await you after this dead end in life. Challenging yourself won't necessarily change your life in a blink of an eye (although it's possible), but it will help you get off the ground, feel empowered, and find a way out of life's most difficult situation.

Date: 2015-05-13

Hello site readers.

In this article, we will analyze a serious topic: . Personally, I believe that not every person in his life finds himself in such a difficult situation. And yet, most people find themselves in such a trap at least once in their lives. And what to do when you don’t know what to do, where and how to look for a way out. You will learn about it here in this article.

First, I want to tell you what you should not do when you are in a dead end. Unfortunately, many people start using alcohol or drugs when they think you are writing: "Gone". I don’t know why they do it, but a person will definitely not find a way out in a bottle or a syringe. On the contrary, the situation will become even worse, as narcotic drugs overshadow the ability to think clearly and assess the situation. And if you find yourself in an impasse, the worst thing you can do is start drinking alcohol or using drugs. Don't you dare act like that.

Some people start whining. There is even a parable on the subject:

“Two friends were walking in the forest and found a cave. They decided to go there out of curiosity. They were so carried away walking through the dark cave that they did not notice how they got lost in it. Realizing this, one of the friends began to shout:

We will die, no one will find us.

A day passed, and he kept exclaiming about his impending death. And later his friend said to him:

“Maybe we should look for a way out?”

And the same thing happens in other people's lives. As something happened, they begin to whimper instead of looking for a way out. There is a way out even in a hopeless situation, you just need to look for it. Therefore, an important rule is to remain calm. The answer may come to you in a few days, weeks or even months. This happened many times in my life, and I became convinced that calmness is strength.

Now for some practice. You still have to take a piece of paper and start making a divergent map to get out of the impasse. A divergent map means several ways to solve a problem. For example, they were fired from their jobs. For some people, this is already a dead end. But the way out is still on the surface. After all, you can post your resume on the Internet, buy newspapers and start looking for vacancies on your own, attend interviews, ask acquaintances and friends about job opportunities, learn a new profession, or even create your own business.

That is, your task is not to be like the person who sat and shouted that the end had come to them, but to become the person who will look for a way out of the cave. The exit is not always found immediately. Still, you'll have to be patient. And that's what I want you to buy. I myself many times looked for ways out of difficult situations and realized that patience is a powerful force. It is this strength that will help you not to merge in your attempts.

Sometimes, in order for the problem to be solved, it is necessary to let go of the situation. This means not dwelling on what happened. For example, if a new job is not being looked for, then you can temporarily score on searches and take care of yourself. This does not mean at all that now you have to wait for manna from heaven. You are still looking for a new job, but without fanaticism and any expectations. And I am sure that when a person goes to something without tension, everything works out for him.

In a difficult situation, a friend can help you find a way out. Most people (sometimes me) rely too much on themselves. They withdraw from outside help instead of accepting it. This is their big misconception. Ego and pride make it difficult for a person to even think a little about asking for help. I'd rather decide everything myself, and be a hero, than someone will help me, after which I will feel miserable and insignificant. Hence the task for you, think about those people who will help you. Don't be afraid to ask them for help.

All dead ends are only in your head. Learn to look at the situation from the outside, thereby moving away from it. Are you good at giving advice to other people? Now give yourself some advice. Start having a dialogue with yourself. That is, ask yourself a question, and then try to answer it. You will definitely get the answer, but whether you accept it or not, this is your business.

I strongly recommend that you mentally support yourself. Your mind must be calm. And the following statement will help you with this: "Everything will be great!". Whenever you are nervous about feeling trapped, repeat this phrase. She is . The second thought that should be spinning in your head is as follows: "Everything that is not done, everything is done for the better". You have heard this phrase hundreds and hundreds of times. And now you need to repeat it hundreds and hundreds of times.