How to make a real man out of anyone “What kind of a man is he? Can he support me?” “Is this a man? He can’t hold the door in front of a lady! ”“ Well, a man! Even the suitcase didn’t help to take it out of the car! ”“ A man, but he was worse than a woman.

Tip Seven Find out at a glance who you can rely on. Signs of a person's reliability It often happens that we see a person for the first time, and at the same time we need to find out how much we can trust him and whether he is worth dealing with. Learn at a glance

Tip Twenty-two How to Deal With Overly Talkative People We all know how tiresome people who are overly talkative can be. They chat incessantly, jumping from topic to topic, and sometimes do not notice that no one is interested in listening to them. They interrupt

Council twenty-three Man in a state of stress. How to help? Tensive and even extreme situations only mobilize some people, force them to gather their strength and act actively. Other stressful situations suppress. If such an overwhelming effect of stress

Tip Twenty-Four How to Deal with Sassy and Unceremonious People Sassy and unceremonious people climb into your life as if it were their own territory. For them there are no boundaries, prohibitions and decency. They command, criticize, demand obedience, are rude to the fullest.

Tip twenty-five Strategy of behavior with lovers of jokes and ridicule A developed sense of humor is a wonderful quality that not only decorates life, but also helps to survive difficulties. But it happens that humor turns into a formidable weapon - when they begin to

Council twenty-six If you are in command Often there are people who are very fond of leading and commanding, even if they are not leaders by position. Some do it gradually, others openly and even rudely. They wouldn't feel so at ease

Council twenty-seventh If someone pesters with constant complaints There is no person for whom everything would always go smoothly and smoothly. But some take responsibility for their lives and solve their own problems, while others look for the guilty and endlessly complain about life. Sympathy for

Council twenty-eighth Strategy of behavior with know-it-alls and lovers to teach others how to live We all sometimes need the advice of a specialist or just a wise person. But neither the sage nor the specialist, as a rule, gives advice when they are not asked for it. Whereas in life

Council twenty-ninth Do not give in to flatterers Flattery only seems pleasant and harmless, but in fact it has ruined many worthy people. Flatterers are rarely selfless. In most cases, they want something from you. Believing their flattering speeches, you will not notice how

Are you good at understanding people? Are you able to find a common language and understanding even with those who are not at all like you?

It is often said: "Another's soul is darkness." But actually it is not!

Both in the appearance and in the behavior of each person, one can see many signs and signals that indicate what his true essence is. When we do not know how to "read" these signs and signals, then the first, and not only the first, impression of a person often misleads us. And then there are disappointments, resentments and belated bitter insights: “How wrong I was in it!”

We are all very different, the diversity of human individualities is truly inexhaustible. In addition, a person's character can manifest itself in many different ways, and in these manifestations, not everything is what it seems. People consciously or unconsciously can wear all sorts of masks. People sometimes feel one thing and say another. Facial expression, smile, and behavior can be deceiving. This does not always mean that people are hypocritical, much more often this is a consequence of an unconscious desire to protect themselves from the outside world. All this prevents us from understanding each other, but the truth is that without such an understanding it is impossible to establish normal constructive contacts with other people. And without constructive communication with their own kind, a person in the modern world is simply not able to survive.

To understand another person means to find the only correct approach to him. When you read this book, the expressions “I don’t understand him,” “He’s kind of strange,” “I don’t know how to approach him,” etc. will disappear from your vocabulary. You will learn to deal with a variety of people, with different characters, beliefs, life values. You will be able to see the essence behind external manifestations, to discern what is not striking, and even what some people would prefer to hide. For someone who knows the special secrets of behavior, the appearance of a person, who knows how to find the right approach to help another open up, there are no and cannot be secrets.

How to approach someone who seems unapproachable? How to find out what is hidden behind the appearance? How to win over even the most unfriendly-looking person? How to convince another that you are right? This is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. A little bit of the necessary knowledge and experience, and you will learn how to pick up the keys to any person in any situation.

Picking up the keys to a person does not mean at all using him for your own purposes and manipulating him. No, the methods proposed here are quite ethical and do not contradict the norms of morality and ethics. Picking up the key to a person means doing a good service to yourself and to him. After all, having understood the strengths and weaknesses of the other, the motives of his actions, his true goals and objectives, you can build mutually beneficial communication with him, and this will only benefit everyone. On the other hand, you can easily, without problems, get away from unnecessary or simply harmful contacts, because you will learn to easily recognize hidden enemies, ill-wishers or those who waste your time and energy in vain.

In this book you will find thirty simple tips who will teach you:

♦ understand all the diversity of human individualities;

♦ unravel the mysteries of human character and behavior;

♦ understand the strengths and weaknesses, goals and motives of the other person;

♦ find the most acceptable ways of interacting with different people;

♦ win over people and achieve the goals you need in communication.

These tips simple but extremely effective. After all, they are based on the latest achievements of practical psychology and other human sciences. The main thing is to be confident in your abilities, do not be afraid of anything, and very soon you will become a real connoisseur of human souls.

I wish you success!

Every time you are about to enter into communication with any person, imagine that a soft warm light is shining inside you. And the eyes give off a warm glow, like a light bulb is on in your head.

In order to be able to pick up the keys to any person and establish contact, first of all, you yourself must be ready for this contact. Remaining internally closed, wary and unsociable, one can hardly count on the success of communication. This does not mean that you need to open your soul to every first person you meet, trust everyone indiscriminately and let anyone into your life. The task is different - remaining oneself, preserving the inviolability of the boundaries of one's life territory, to learn how to create for oneself and another a comfortable environment that is most conducive to communication. To do this, you only have to practice a little in creating an appropriate internal mood and learn the secrets of effective interaction with other people.

Get benefits at the very beginning of communication

Pay attention to what kind of people everyone is unconsciously drawn to without exception. To those that seem to radiate warmth and light. This can be learned.

And at the same time, it is not at all necessary to constantly smile and portray hospitality on your face.

When a small flashlight seems to be burning inside you, even people who do not know you instantly feel that you are a person who is open to communication and friendly, that communicating with you, firstly, is pleasant, and secondly, it is safe. Thus, you immediately remove barriers and wariness between you and the interlocutor. We can say that you are already helping him to get rid of tension, relax and calmly, with confidence, perceive what you say. Do you feel what advantages it gives you at the very beginning of the contact?

Be open yet protected

The main thing is to kindle this inner light consciously, learn to control it. Then your goodwill, openness and inner warmth in communication will be your strong point and will never turn into your vulnerability. Many want to take advantage of an open and benevolent person, mistaking his openness for weakness. If you manage your inner state, control yourself, then your inner light will not at all prevent you from standing up for yourself if necessary, but, on the contrary, will only help in this. Because such an inner glow, in addition to everything else, also protects you from unwanted influences. With a little practice, you will notice that your inner light allows you to maintain not only a great mood in any situation, but also a sober, clear head that will accurately tell you how to direct the dialogue in the right direction.

Workshop

Practice on your own first. Imagine that your eyes are like light bulbs emitting light. Look at the world around you with such eyes. Try not to “stretch” a smile and generally maintain a normal facial expression. If a smile arises by itself - allow it to arise, but only if it happens completely naturally, without the control of your will.

Then imagine that the light fills your entire body. Now the rays of light come not only from the eyes, but also from the heart. Hold this state for as long as you can.

When you can do this easily enough, practice turning on the interior light somewhere in a crowded place, such as on the street or in transport. See if it changes how other people react to you.

Try to turn on the inner light and, keeping it, talk to some stranger - a saleswoman, a minibus driver or a random passer-by (who you can ask about the time or clarify the route of your movement). Remember: you do not need to demonstrate anything on purpose, you do not need to try to give your face a friendly expression, and your voice - ingratiating intonations. All you need is to kindle the inner light.

Current page: 1 (total book has 8 pages) [available reading excerpt: 2 pages]

Larisa Bolshakova
How to find a key to any person: 30 most important rules

Are you good at understanding people?

Are you good at understanding people? Are you able to find a common language and understanding even with those who are not at all like you?

It is often said: "Another's soul is darkness." But actually it is not!

Both in the appearance and in the behavior of each person, one can see many signs and signals that indicate what his true essence is. When we do not know how to "read" these signs and signals, then the first, and not only the first, impression of a person often misleads us. And then there are disappointments, resentments and belated bitter insights: “How wrong I was in it!”

We are all very different, the diversity of human individualities is truly inexhaustible. In addition, a person's character can manifest itself in many different ways, and in these manifestations, not everything is what it seems. People consciously or unconsciously can wear all sorts of masks. People sometimes feel one thing and say another. Facial expression, smile, and behavior can be deceiving. This does not always mean that people are hypocritical, much more often this is a consequence of an unconscious desire to protect themselves from the outside world. All this prevents us from understanding each other, but the truth is that without such an understanding it is impossible to establish normal constructive contacts with other people. And without constructive communication with their own kind, a person in the modern world is simply not able to survive.

To understand another person means to find the only correct approach to him. When you read this book, the expressions “I don’t understand him,” “He’s kind of strange,” “I don’t know how to approach him,” etc. will disappear from your vocabulary. You will learn to deal with a variety of people, with different characters, beliefs, life values. You will be able to see the essence behind external manifestations, to discern what is not striking, and even what some people would prefer to hide. For someone who knows the special secrets of behavior, the appearance of a person, who knows how to find the right approach to help another open up, there are no and cannot be secrets.

How to approach someone who seems unapproachable? How to find out what is hidden behind the appearance? How to win over even the most unfriendly-looking person? How to convince another that you are right? This is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. A little bit of the necessary knowledge and experience, and you will learn how to pick up the keys to any person in any situation.

Picking up the keys to a person does not mean at all using him for your own purposes and manipulating him. No, the methods proposed here are quite ethical and do not contradict the norms of morality and ethics. Picking up the key to a person means doing a good service to yourself and to him. After all, having understood the strengths and weaknesses of the other, the motives of his actions, his true goals and objectives, you can build mutually beneficial communication with him, and this will only benefit everyone. On the other hand, you can easily, without problems, get away from unnecessary or simply harmful contacts, because you will learn to easily recognize hidden enemies, ill-wishers or those who waste your time and energy in vain.

In this book you will find thirty simple tips who will teach you:

♦ understand all the diversity of human individualities;

♦ unravel the mysteries of human character and behavior;

♦ understand the strengths and weaknesses, goals and motives of the other person;

♦ find the most acceptable ways of interacting with different people;

♦ win over people and achieve the goals you need in communication.

These tips simple but extremely effective. After all, they are based on the latest achievements of practical psychology and other human sciences. The main thing is to be confident in your abilities, do not be afraid of anything, and very soon you will become a real connoisseur of human souls.

I wish you success!

Tip one
Light your inner light and people will be drawn to you

Every time you are about to enter into communication with any person, imagine that a soft warm light is shining inside you. And the eyes give off a warm glow, like a light bulb is on in your head.

In order to be able to pick up the keys to any person and establish contact, first of all, you yourself must be ready for this contact. Remaining internally closed, wary and unsociable, one can hardly count on the success of communication. This does not mean that you need to open your soul to every first person you meet, trust everyone indiscriminately and let anyone into your life. The task is different - remaining oneself, preserving the inviolability of the boundaries of one's life territory, to learn how to create for oneself and another a comfortable environment that is most conducive to communication. To do this, you only have to practice a little in creating an appropriate internal mood and learn the secrets of effective interaction with other people.

Get benefits at the very beginning of communication

Pay attention to what kind of people everyone is unconsciously drawn to without exception. To those that seem to radiate warmth and light. This can be learned.

And at the same time, it is not at all necessary to constantly smile and portray hospitality on your face.

When a small flashlight seems to be burning inside you, even people who do not know you instantly feel that you are a person who is open to communication and friendly, that communicating with you, firstly, is pleasant, and secondly, it is safe. Thus, you immediately remove barriers and wariness between you and the interlocutor. We can say that you are already helping him to get rid of tension, relax and calmly, with confidence, perceive what you say. Do you feel what advantages it gives you at the very beginning of the contact?

Be open yet protected

The main thing is to kindle this inner light consciously, learn to control it. Then your goodwill, openness and inner warmth in communication will be your strong point and will never turn into your vulnerability. Many want to take advantage of an open and benevolent person, mistaking his openness for weakness. If you manage your inner state, control yourself, then your inner light will not at all prevent you from standing up for yourself if necessary, but, on the contrary, will only help in this. Because such an inner glow, in addition to everything else, also protects you from unwanted influences. With a little practice, you will notice that your inner light allows you to maintain not only a great mood in any situation, but also a sober, clear head that will accurately tell you how to direct the dialogue in the right direction.

Workshop

Practice on your own first. Imagine that your eyes are like light bulbs emitting light. Look at the world around you with such eyes. Try not to “stretch” a smile and generally maintain a normal facial expression. If a smile arises by itself - allow it to arise, but only if it happens completely naturally, without the control of your will.

Then imagine that the light fills your entire body. Now the rays of light come not only from the eyes, but also from the heart. Hold this state for as long as you can.

When you can do this easily enough, practice turning on the interior light somewhere in a crowded place, such as on the street or in transport. See if it changes how other people react to you.

Try to turn on the inner light and, keeping it, talk to some stranger - a saleswoman, a minibus driver or a random passer-by (who you can ask about the time or clarify the route of your movement). Remember: you do not need to demonstrate anything on purpose, you do not need to try to give your face a friendly expression, and your voice - ingratiating intonations. All you need is to kindle the inner light.

Make it a rule to turn on the inner light in any situation when you have to communicate with others. Over time, this will begin to work out for you automatically. Do not be surprised if very soon the people with whom you communicate begin to speak of you as a very good, pleasant person who is surprisingly accommodating.

Tip two
The outside must reflect the inside. Naturalness is the most expensive business card

Learn to hold yourself so that your words, actions and all external manifestations are fully consistent with what you really think and feel.

Naturalness, organic behavior is one of the main conditions for success in communication. Imagine a person who is hunched over, shifting from foot to foot, looking at the floor and at the same time saying: "I am absolutely sure that I can handle this job." Obviously, these words will cause distrust among those around, because they will feel that the phrase uttered by this person does not agree with his true state. And after all, it is not excluded that he really is an excellent worker, but his inability to be in agreement with himself works against him.

Pretending is not conducive to success

In the same way, a frozen, forced smile, ostentatious enthusiasm, feigned sympathy, and, in general, any attempt to portray feelings that are not really there do not contribute to success.

People are very often not far-sighted enough to convict us of the inconsistency of our behavior with our internal state. Even if you smile insincerely, many people will consider your smile to be completely natural. That is, on a conscious level, it is unlikely that someone will “expose” you. But even if the consciousness of your interlocutor does not notice some inconsistency in your behavior, then unconsciously he will definitely react to this. Namely: if you are in agreement with yourself, you will unconsciously be trusted. But it is difficult for a person with inconsistent behavior to count on trust. He can repeat well-known common truths, but if he does it memorized, mechanically, and deep down he thinks about something else, then his words are unlikely to convince anyone. The interlocutors may nod out of politeness, but will remain unconvinced.

To convince others, be convinced yourself

But if a person speaks sincerely, convincingly, if he himself is convinced that he is right, he will convince others of anything, and he will have every chance to become a leader.

So, if you want to convince someone of something, so that they unquestioningly believe you, convince yourself first! Learn to behave in such a way that your facial expression, posture, gestures correspond to what you really think and feel. Give up the habit of portraying some feelings outwardly. Better listen to yourself and figure out what you really feel. Observe yourself as if from the outside and notice how your most sincere feelings are expressed. They can be expressed very simply, not at all brightly, but the main thing is that they are expressed naturally, without any play for the public. When our feelings are expressed naturally, we are internally whole, we are not divided into external and internal, and therefore we feel most comfortable. We are free, not tense, we are ourselves. When a person is the way he is, he is always attractive, he disposes to himself, he is trusted.

Conclusion: if you want to be understood by other people, if you want to be accepted as you are, first accept yourself, learn to live with yourself in peace and harmony.

Workshop

Stay alone with yourself, sit in some comfortable, relaxed position, away from the mirror. Looking at yourself in the mirror is not recommended, because the reflection can only confuse you and prevent you from focusing on yourself.

Turn your attention inward and remember something that makes you smile sincerely. Do not force yourself to smile on purpose - let the smile arise by itself. Pay attention to how you feel when you smile like this, from the heart, from the heart. Note that slightly different muscle groups are being worked than with the fake smile. With a natural smile, facial muscles work much softer. It can be a smile with almost one eye, when the overall facial expression softens and the lips gently and naturally lift. Whereas with an artificial smile, the muscles near the eyes are usually not involved at all, and the corners of the lips rise too sharply and tensely.

Moreover, you will notice that with a natural smile, the sensations throughout the body also change. A smile seems to radiate from the whole body at once, and because of this, facial expressions, and gestures, and movements, and all plasticity change. Be sure to remember these feelings! It is their inner feelings, and not how it manifests itself externally.

Practice smiling with such a natural smile while communicating with different people. And if the habit of pretending to smile takes over, immediately remember your feelings when you smile with a sincere smile.

If possible, film yourself first with a specially “made” smile, then with a natural smile. Appreciate the difference. Undoubtedly, you will like the way you look much more when you are in agreement with yourself. After a little practice, you will feel that this state is also very pleasant. Believe me, in communicating with any person, being in harmony with yourself is not only absolutely safe, but also very useful. When we are in agreement with ourselves, it is difficult to fool us, mislead or subjugate us, because we are free, not tense, and thanks to this we see the true motives and goals of another person much better, and we can calmly and naturally stop the direction of the conversation that is undesirable for us .

Then, in the same way, practice expressing your true feelings with your voice, then in gestures, in plasticity. The main thing is that both your intonations and movements are not created by you on purpose, but seem to be born by themselves, spontaneously and unintentionally come from within, from the heart and soul.

Regardless of whether you like or not the person with whom you have to communicate, at least for a few moments put yourself in his place, look at the situation through his eyes, try to understand how he feels and why he behaves this way and not otherwise.

The ability to "get into the shoes" of another and see the world through his eyes is called empathy. This does not mean at all that for effective communication you will have to think and feel in exactly the same way as your interlocutor, or, even worse, agree with him in everything. Not at all, you don't even have to like each other. But to understand another means with a much greater degree of probability to achieve the result you need in communicating with him.

To feel the state of another person means to instantly establish contact with him

Empathy is “feeling” in another person, which is akin to acting reincarnation. It is not necessary to get used to another seriously and for a long time - but for a moment, as if effortlessly, to become him, to feel his state from the inside - means to instantly establish contact with him. Feeling in this way the state of another person, putting yourself in his place, you will learn to understand him, and maybe even sympathize with him, while absolutely not judging him, not criticizing him, not labeling him. If you can look at the world through the eyes of another, you are guaranteed to establish a lively, warm contact with him, your communication will not be formal, not superficial, but very deep. You will penetrate the inner world of the interlocutor, understand his true feelings, and this will most likely force you to change your communication strategy to a more productive one.

Create a field of mutual understanding

If you do not understand what motivates a person, and start scolding him, he will most likely close up or begin to defend himself, and real communication will not work. Having managed to feel the pains and joys of another, you will create a general atmosphere of sympathy, empathy, and trust. The interlocutor will feel that you seem to have created around both of you a single field of common interests and mutual understanding. In such conditions, it is much easier to agree on anything! A person will definitely feel that you treat him with understanding. In this case, it will be much easier for you to convey your arguments to him, and he will calmly accept your proposals and agree with your correctness.

Workshop

Sometimes people are afraid to put themselves in the place of another, because it seems to them that because of this they can lose their own face, as if to dissolve in another and forget about their interests. To learn empathy without losing yourself, there is one sure trick: do it playfully, pretend. In addition, do not stay in the role of another person for a long time, usually from a few seconds to a minute of such “immersion” in the image is enough to understand the person, as they say, from the inside.

It is best to start training your ability to empathize when you are among people, but at the same time you do not enter into direct communication with them. For example, on the subway, in line at the store, or at some meeting, quietly observe someone. Don't draw any conclusions, don't judge or judge, just watch. Your task is to remember the face of this person. Pay attention to the details: hairstyle, nose shape, eye color. Then pay attention to the facial expression and try to remember it too. Now imagine that you are an actor who needs to play such a person. To play is not just to portray him outwardly. This means entering the same state in which this person is. You have already studied his facial expression - now imagine how a person with such a facial expression feels. Why did he have this expression, what inner state gave rise to it?

Looking away from this person, reproduce his face in memory, and then try to copy both the facial expression and, most importantly, the internal state of a person with such a face. Notice how this changes your own state. Do you feel confident or helpless, fearless or timid, sad or joyful? If you succeed even for a moment inwardly entering the role of the other, you will be able to make unexpected discoveries. Perhaps you will feel that fear is actually hiding behind external aggressiveness. And behind the external arrogance - uncertainty and a thirst for self-affirmation. By understanding in this way what is hidden behind the sometimes deceptive appearance, you can find the most winning communication strategy. For example, you will stop being afraid of the aggressor, you will not defend yourself with reciprocal aggressiveness, but instead disarm him with a kind and soft intonation, remove his hidden fear and make him communicate with you gently and friendly.

If you want to be heard, first learn to listen yourself. It is not so difficult - you just need to fully focus your attention on what the interlocutor is saying during the conversation. At the same time, it is very important not only to be attentive, but also to show this attention outwardly. But only on condition that this attention is sincere, and not feigned!

The most common mistakes in dialogue

If you pretend to be attentive, nod in response to the words of the interlocutor - this does not mean that you are actually listening to him. The most common mistake in dialogue is when a person is just waiting for his turn to speak, but while the interlocutor is talking, he is thinking about his remarks, only pretending to listen. An even worse mistake is to interrupt the speaker and try in every possible way to dominate the conversation, preventing the other person from saying a word. This is a sure way to get nothing from the conversation but mutual disappointment, or even bring the matter to a conflict. Learn to listen - and by doing so, you will do a lot to ensure that your conversation from a “dialogue of the deaf” turns into a truly productive communication.

Being able to listen means really wanting to listen.

To do this, you first need to develop the intention to really hear and understand what the person is saying to you. Get rid of bias, do not assume that you already know everything that he will say. And be sure to try not only to hear the words, but also to understand the feelings, experiences, inner state of a person.

If you are interested in continuing to communicate with this person, allow him to speak to the end, without interrupting or trying to use pauses to insert his weighty word.

As you listen, avoid jumping to conclusions, don't rate or give advice.

You can insert your remarks only in order to clarify the meaning of the words of the interlocutor, to check whether you understand him correctly.

Be friendly and interested - it's in your best interest. When a person feels your benevolent attitude, he is more likely to reveal his true intentions and feelings to you. If he notices condemnation in you, he will go on the defensive, and behind his self-defense you are unlikely to discern the essence.

Listening and understanding does not necessarily mean agreeing

Remember that listening and understanding the interlocutor does not necessarily mean agreeing with him. After listening to him, pause and express your opinion about what you heard, including disagreement. If the words of the interlocutor somehow offend you, do not rush to go on the attack. Express your point of view calmly and in a way that does not sound offensive. Remember that being friendly in a conversation does not mean giving up your position.

By learning to truly listen to another, you will not only establish a productive contact, but you yourself will be able to understand what you can really get from this contact. Listening carefully, you will notice in time whether your interlocutor is conducting an equal dialogue or is trying to subjugate you to his opinion, or maybe manipulate you. This will allow you to stop such attempts and give a chance to move the dialogue in a more positive direction.

Workshop

Start exercising your listening ability with someone you feel comfortable with. It is important that you have the feeling that you are safe, nothing threatens you. Ask a question that suggests a lengthy answer, not just a yes or no. It is best to ask the interlocutor to talk about something. Set a goal to maintain your attention to the speaker all the time while he speaks, without interrupting him and being extremely attentive.

Having tuned in to the full concentration of attention, notice: when we are truly attentive, then we listen as if not only with our ears, but with our whole body. The whole posture expresses concentration. It is best to turn to the interlocutor with the whole body and look him in the face. But remember that too close, unseparated gaze into the eyes is not pleasant for everyone. Therefore, looking into the eyes of the interlocutor, from time to time for a second or two look away a little to the side.

If you feel that your attention is scattered and the meaning of speech begins to elude you, slightly change your position, lean towards the interlocutor and focus again.

Carefully delving into the meaning of the spoken words, at the same time follow the facial expressions, gestures, posture, intonations, breathing of the interlocutor. All this carries no less information than the actual words. Sometimes, by the gestures and facial expressions of a person, we can understand how sincere he is and what his hidden thoughts, feelings and intentions are.

Pay attention to the emotions of the interlocutor. Gently point them out to him, for example, like this: “It seemed to me, or are you upset about something?” Such leading questions will encourage the interlocutor to be more frank.

Once you have mastered the basic listening skills, you can apply them to anyone in any situation. When you learn to listen, you will notice that people are willing to share any information with you, and sometimes even reveal real secrets. And in our information age, whoever owns the information owns the world!

Are you good at understanding people?

Are you good at understanding people? Are you able to find a common language and understanding even with those who are not at all like you?

It is often said: "Another's soul is darkness." But actually it is not!

Both in the appearance and in the behavior of each person, one can see many signs and signals that indicate what his true essence is. When we do not know how to "read" these signs and signals, then the first, and not only the first, impression of a person often misleads us. And then there are disappointments, resentments and belated bitter insights: “How wrong I was in it!”

We are all very different, the diversity of human individualities is truly inexhaustible. In addition, a person's character can manifest itself in many different ways, and in these manifestations, not everything is what it seems. People consciously or unconsciously can wear all sorts of masks. People sometimes feel one thing and say another. Facial expression, smile, and behavior can be deceiving. This does not always mean that people are hypocritical, much more often this is a consequence of an unconscious desire to protect themselves from the outside world. All this prevents us from understanding each other, but the truth is that without such an understanding it is impossible to establish normal constructive contacts with other people. And without constructive communication with their own kind, a person in the modern world is simply not able to survive.

To understand another person means to find the only correct approach to him. When you read this book, the expressions “I don’t understand him,” “He’s kind of strange,” “I don’t know how to approach him,” etc. will disappear from your vocabulary. You will learn to deal with a variety of people, with different characters, beliefs, life values. You will be able to see the essence behind external manifestations, to discern what is not striking, and even what some people would prefer to hide. For someone who knows the special secrets of behavior, the appearance of a person, who knows how to find the right approach to help another open up, there are no and cannot be secrets.

How to approach someone who seems unapproachable? How to find out what is hidden behind the appearance? How to win over even the most unfriendly-looking person? How to convince another that you are right? This is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. A little bit of the necessary knowledge and experience, and you will learn how to pick up the keys to any person in any situation.

Picking up the keys to a person does not mean at all using him for your own purposes and manipulating him. No, the methods proposed here are quite ethical and do not contradict the norms of morality and ethics. Picking up the key to a person means doing a good service to yourself and to him. After all, having understood the strengths and weaknesses of the other, the motives of his actions, his true goals and objectives, you can build mutually beneficial communication with him, and this will only benefit everyone. On the other hand, you can easily, without problems, get away from unnecessary or simply harmful contacts, because you will learn to easily recognize hidden enemies, ill-wishers or those who waste your time and energy in vain.

In this book you will find thirty simple tips who will teach you:

♦ understand all the diversity of human individualities;

♦ unravel the mysteries of human character and behavior;

♦ understand the strengths and weaknesses, goals and motives of the other person;

♦ find the most acceptable ways of interacting with different people;

♦ win over people and achieve the goals you need in communication.

These tips simple but extremely effective. After all, they are based on the latest achievements of practical psychology and other human sciences. The main thing is to be confident in your abilities, do not be afraid of anything, and very soon you will become a real connoisseur of human souls.

I wish you success!

Tip one
Light your inner light and people will be drawn to you

Every time you are about to enter into communication with any person, imagine that a soft warm light is shining inside you. And the eyes give off a warm glow, like a light bulb is on in your head.

In order to be able to pick up the keys to any person and establish contact, first of all, you yourself must be ready for this contact. Remaining internally closed, wary and unsociable, one can hardly count on the success of communication. This does not mean that you need to open your soul to every first person you meet, trust everyone indiscriminately and let anyone into your life. The task is different - remaining oneself, preserving the inviolability of the boundaries of one's life territory, to learn how to create for oneself and another a comfortable environment that is most conducive to communication. To do this, you only have to practice a little in creating an appropriate internal mood and learn the secrets of effective interaction with other people.

Get benefits at the very beginning of communication

Pay attention to what kind of people everyone is unconsciously drawn to without exception. To those that seem to radiate warmth and light. This can be learned.

And at the same time, it is not at all necessary to constantly smile and portray hospitality on your face.

When a small flashlight seems to be burning inside you, even people who do not know you instantly feel that you are a person who is open to communication and friendly, that communicating with you, firstly, is pleasant, and secondly, it is safe. Thus, you immediately remove barriers and wariness between you and the interlocutor. We can say that you are already helping him to get rid of tension, relax and calmly, with confidence, perceive what you say. Do you feel what advantages it gives you at the very beginning of the contact?

Be open yet protected

The main thing is to kindle this inner light consciously, learn to control it. Then your goodwill, openness and inner warmth in communication will be your strong point and will never turn into your vulnerability. Many want to take advantage of an open and benevolent person, mistaking his openness for weakness. If you manage your inner state, control yourself, then your inner light will not at all prevent you from standing up for yourself if necessary, but, on the contrary, will only help in this. Because such an inner glow, in addition to everything else, also protects you from unwanted influences. With a little practice, you will notice that your inner light allows you to maintain not only a great mood in any situation, but also a sober, clear head that will accurately tell you how to direct the dialogue in the right direction.

Workshop

Practice on your own first. Imagine that your eyes are like light bulbs emitting light. Look at the world around you with such eyes. Try not to “stretch” a smile and generally maintain a normal facial expression. If a smile arises by itself - allow it to arise, but only if it happens completely naturally, without the control of your will.

Then imagine that the light fills your entire body. Now the rays of light come not only from the eyes, but also from the heart. Hold this state for as long as you can.

When you can do this easily enough, practice turning on the interior light somewhere in a crowded place, such as on the street or in transport. See if it changes how other people react to you.

Try to turn on the inner light and, keeping it, talk to some stranger - a saleswoman, a minibus driver or a random passer-by (who you can ask about the time or clarify the route of your movement). Remember: you do not need to demonstrate anything on purpose, you do not need to try to give your face a friendly expression, and your voice - ingratiating intonations. All you need is to kindle the inner light.

Make it a rule to turn on the inner light in any situation when you have to communicate with others. Over time, this will begin to work out for you automatically. Do not be surprised if very soon the people with whom you communicate begin to speak of you as a very good, pleasant person who is surprisingly accommodating.