Good manners– one of the most important indicators of an educated, cultured person. From early childhood, we are instilled with certain manners of behavior. A cultured person must constantly follow the norms of behavior fixed in society. – observe etiquette.Knowledge and adherence to etiquette allows you to feel confident and free in any society.
The word "etiquette" came to the Russian language from French in the 18th century, when the court life of an absolute monarchy was taking shape and broad political and cultural ties between Russia and other states were being established.
Etiquette (French) etiquette) – a set of rules of conduct, treatment adopted in certain social circles (at the courts of monarchs, in diplomatic circles, etc.). Usually etiquette reflects the form of behavior, manners, rules of courtesy adopted in a given society, inherent in a particular tradition. Etiquette can act as an indicator of the values of different historical eras.
At an early age, when parents teach a child to say hello, say thank you, ask for forgiveness for pranks, learning takes place. basic formulas of speech etiquette.
– it is a system of rules of speech behavior, norms for the use of language means in certain conditions. The etiquette of speech communication plays an important role for the successful activity of a person in society, his personal and professional growth, building strong family and friendships. To master the etiquette of speech communication, knowledge from various humanitarian areas is required: linguistics, history, cultural studies, psychology. For a more successful development of cultural communication skills, such a concept is used as speech etiquette formulas.
In everyday life, we constantly communicate with people. Any communication process consists of certain stages:
- the beginning of the conversation (greeting/acquaintance);
- main part, conversation;
- final part of the conversation.
Each stage of communication is accompanied by certain cliches, traditional words and set expressions – formulasami speech etiquette. These formulas exist in the language in finished form and are provided for all occasions.
To the formulas of speech etiquette words of politeness (sorry, thank you, please), greetings and goodbyes (hello, hello, goodbye), circulation (you, you, ladies and gentlemen). Greetings came to us from the west: good evening, good afternoon, good morning, and from European languages \u200b\u200b- farewells: all the best, all the best.
The sphere of speech etiquette includes ways of expressing joy, sympathy, grief, guilt, accepted in a given culture. For example, in some countries it is considered indecent to complain about difficulties and problems, while in others it is unacceptable to talk about your achievements and successes. The range of topics for conversation is different in different cultures.
In the narrow sense of the word speech etiquette can be defined as a system of linguistic means in which etiquette relations are manifested. Elements and formulas of this system can be implemented at different language levels:
At the level of vocabulary and phraseology: special words, set expressions, forms of address (thanks, sorry, hello, comrades, etc.)
At the grammatical level: for polite address, the use of the plural and interrogative sentences instead of imperative (You won't tell me how to get through...)
On a stylistic level: maintaining the qualities of good speech (correctness, accuracy, richness, relevance, etc.)
At the intonation level: the use of a calm intonation even when expressing demands, discontent, irritation.
At the level of orthoepy: use of full word forms: h hello instead of hello, please instead of please, etc.
At the organizational and communicative level: listen carefully and do not interrupt, do not interfere in someone else's conversation.
Speech etiquette formulas are characteristic of both literary and colloquial, and rather reduced (slang) style. The choice of one or another formula of speech etiquette depends mainly on the situation of communication. Indeed, the conversation and manner of communication can vary significantly depending on: the personality of the interlocutors, the place of communication, the topic of conversation, time, motive and goals.
The place of communication may require the participants in the conversation to comply with certain rules of speech etiquette established specifically for the chosen place. Communication at a business meeting, social dinner, in the theater will be different from behavior at a youth party, in the bathroom, etc.
Depends on the participants in the conversation. The personality of the interlocutors primarily affects the form of address: you or you. The form you indicates the informal nature of communication, You – for respect and great formality in conversation.
Depending on the topic of conversation, time, motive or purpose of communication, we use different conversational techniques.
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During the royal reception, leaflets were handed out to those present, in which the rules of conduct were stipulated. French for labels.
Today under etiquette we understand a set of good manners rules adopted in a given society, and established norms of behavior and communication of people in certain situations.
The rules of etiquette are of a specific historical nature and have national specifics. A polite, respectful attitude towards others can be expressed by non-verbal means, and maybe by speech.
Speech etiquette - it is a system of formulas developed in a given language that serve to establish contact between interlocutors and to maintain communication in the right tone.
The words of speech etiquette in everyday language perform a number of functions:
1) peacekeeping (or contact-establishing);
2) ethical;
3) aesthetic, which includes culture-creative.
Speech etiquette formulas - these are typical ready-made constructions that are regularly used with correct communication. Such formulas help organize etiquette situations, taking into account social, age, and psychological factors, as well as the sphere of communication.
Speech etiquette formulas are divided into three main groups:
Speech formulas related to the beginning of communication;
Speech formulas used in the process of communication;
Speech formulas related to the end of communication.
1. Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the beginning of communication.
Formal and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, begin with greetings . In Russian, the main greeting is hello. It goes back to the Old Slavonic verb hello, which means "to be healthy", i.e. healthy. Along with this form, a greeting indicating the time of the meeting is common: Good morning! Good afternoon! Good evening! In addition to common greetings, there are greetings that emphasize the joy of meeting, respectful attitude, desire for communication: I am very glad to see you! Welcome! My regards!“Hello” as an etiquette pleases the participants in communication, it is needed at least to say: I notice you. One of the most important and necessary components of speech etiquette is appeal .
The appeal is used at any stage of communication, throughout its duration, serves as its integral part. At the same time, the norm of the use of the address and its form have not been finally established, cause controversy, and are a sore spot in Russian speech etiquette. Appeal "citizen", which comes from the Old Slavonic city dweller (resident of the city) and received a new understanding in the 19th century (a full member of society, the state), did not become commonly used in the 20th - early 21st centuries. This is due to the fact that this word was used mainly when addressing arrested, convicted, imprisoned employees of law enforcement agencies and vice versa ( citizen under investigation, citizen judge).
As a result, the word "citizen" became associated with detention, arrest, and the police. This negative association made it impossible to use this word as a common address. Appeal "comrade", actively used during the existence of the Soviet Union, is legally left as an official appeal only in the armed forces and other power structures, as well as in communist organizations, factory and factory teams. The current appeal "mister", "Madam" is perceived as the norm at meetings of the Duma, in television programs, at various symposiums and conferences. Among civil servants, businessmen, entrepreneurs, the appeal is becoming the norm. "mister", "Madam" in combination with the surname, job title, rank ( Mr. Solovyov).
Appeals "sir", "ma'am", used in the 19th century as appeals to representatives of the middle class, are also used quite rarely. They are used mainly by educated people, more often by employees. Scientists, teachers, doctors, lawyers prefer words "colleagues", "friends". Appeal "respected", "respected" found in the speech of the older generation. The words "woman", "man", which have become widespread in the role of addresses, violate the norm of speech etiquette, testify to the insufficient culture of the speaker. It is preferable to start a conversation without appeals, using etiquette formulas "be kind", "be kind", "excuse me", "sorry".
Of particular note appeal to you - you , the existence of which is due to the presence in the Russian language of two pronouns - “you” and “You”, which can be perceived as forms of the second person singular. The choice of one form or another depends on the social status of the interlocutors, the nature of their relationship, the official (informal) situation.
Refer to "You" received:
To strangers;
in a formal setting;
To a senior in age or position;
If the relationship is no longer friendly.
Refer to "you" received to friends and relatives, classmates or colleagues. Addressing each other in the process of communication, we use linguistic means that encode the face. They serve to identify the speaker (1st person), the listener (2nd person) and the person who does not take part in this speech act (3rd person).
The basic language units are indicators of the first (“I”) and second (“you”) person. In the same row with them, indicators of a third person (“he”) are usually mentioned. However, from a substantive point of view, the third person differs significantly from the first and second. The use of indicators of a third person produces not a positive, but a negative identification of the communicant: “he” is neither a speaker nor a listener. In the presence of the person in question, you can not call him in the third person . If the person's name is not known, you can say this, for example: “My girlfriend and I”, “Me and a young man”.
If the addressee is unfamiliar to the subject of speech, then communication begins with an acquaintance. In this case, it can occur directly and indirectly.
Etiquette prescribes the following formulas acquaintance :
- Allow me to get to know you.
- I would like to meet you.
- Let's get acquainted.
When visiting an institution, office, office, when there is a conversation with an official and it is necessary for him to introduce himself, the following formulas are used:
- Allow me to introduce myself.
- My surname is Petrov.
- Elena Nikolaevna.
2. Rules and norms of speech etiquette in the process of communication: formulas of politeness and mutual understanding.
After the greeting, a conversation usually begins. Speech etiquette provides for several beginnings, which are determined by the situation. The most typical are 3 situations: solemn, working, mournful. The first includes public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees, receiving awards, birthdays, name days, significant dates for the family or its members, presentations, conclusion of contracts, creation of new organizations. Anyway solemn occasion, a significant event, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, unofficial), invitation and congratulatory clichés change.
Invitation:
- Allow (allow) to invite you ...
- Come to the holiday (anniversary, meeting ...), we will be glad to see you.
Congratulation:
- Please accept my (most) cordial (warm, hot, sincere) congratulations ...
- On behalf of (on behalf of) congratulations;
- Warmly (warmly) congratulations.
As in all other situations of interpersonal communication, congratulations should be extremely correct, appropriate and sincere. With sincerity, you have to be very careful. Congratulation is a society-accepted ritual of respect and joy for a loved one, but this is by no means a way of conducting a conversation or correspondence; congratulations should not contain purely personal topics and questions of the congratulatory addressee. The content of the congratulations is a ritual expression of joy, but nothing more.
When mournful situations associated with death, death, murder and other events that bring misfortune, condolences are expressed. It should not be dry, state-owned.
Condolence Formulas, to as a rule, stylistically elevated, emotionally colored:
- Allow (allow) to express (to you) my (my) deep (sincere) condolences.
- I bring (to you) my (accept mine, please accept mine) deep (sincere) condolences.
- I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune).
The listed beginnings (invitation, congratulations, condolences, expressions of sympathy) do not always turn into business communication, sometimes the conversation ends with them.
AT everyday business environment speech etiquette formulas are also used. Often in business situations, it becomes necessary to thank someone or reprimand, make a remark, give advice, make a suggestion, make a request, express consent, etc. Here are the speech clichés that are used in these situations.
Gratitude :
- Allow (permit) to express (great, huge) gratitude to Ivan Alekseevich Samoilov for the excellent (perfectly) organized exhibition.
- The company (management, administration) expresses its gratitude to all employees for ... In addition to official thanks, there are also ordinary, unofficial thanks. This is ordinary "Thanks", "You are very kind".
Remarks, warning :
- The firm (management, board, editorial office) is forced to issue a (serious) warning (remark) ...
- To (great) regret (chagrin), I must (forced) to make a remark (to reprimand).
Request :
- Do me a favor, do (my) request ...
- Do not take it for work, please take ...
- Please pass on...
consent, permission :
- Now (immediately) will be done (done) ...
- I agree, do (do) as you think ...
Refusal:
- (I) cannot (unable, unable) to help (permit, assist).
- I'm sorry, but we (I) cannot (can) fulfill your request.
- I have to forbid (refuse, do not allow).
3. Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the end of communication: farewell, summary.
When the conversation ends, the interlocutors use the formulas for parting, ending communication.
They express hope for a new meeting :
- Until the evening (tomorrow, Saturday);
I hope we're apart for a while.
- I hope to see you soon;
Wish :
- All the best to you (good)! Goodbye!;
Doubt about meeting again :
- Farewell! I'm unlikely to see you again. Do not remember dashingly! An important component of speech etiquette is an established ritual. compliment . Tactfully and timely said compliment lifts the mood of the addressee, sets up a positive attitude towards the interlocutor.
A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, at a meeting, acquaintance or during a conversation, at parting.
The compliment refers to the appearance, indicates the excellent professional abilities of the addressee, his high morality, gives an overall positive assessment:
- You look good (excellent, fine).
- You are (so, very) charming (smart, resourceful, practical).
- You are a good (excellent, excellent) specialist.
- It is pleasant (excellent, good) to deal with you (work, cooperate).
- Nice to meet you!
- You are a very nice (interesting) person (interlocutor).
During communication between people speech etiquette plays an important role, i.e., verbal forms of expression of polite relations, closely related to certain moments of the situation and due to the cultural level, gender, age, degree of kinship, acquaintance of the participants in communication. In a speech situation, there is always a speaker, his interlocutor, the place and time of speech, the motive and purpose of communication, the topic of conversation, the means of communication.
Speech etiquette is used in a limited range of certain situations, therefore, assessing the politeness and culture of a person, as a rule, they evaluate his ability to follow the rules of speech etiquette.
Speech etiquette reflects the people's experience, the originality of the conditions of life, the customs of each people.
That is why speech etiquette is an important component of national culture.
Etiquette as a set of rules established in society regulates the behavior of people in accordance with social requirements.
Speech etiquette regulates the rules of human speech behavior in society.
The system of speech etiquette is stable, stereotypical formulas for addressing, invitations, requests, thanks, apologies, congratulations, wishes, greetings.
In the composition of speech etiquette, appeals occupy a large place - individual words or phrases used in dialogue.
Appeals reflect the relationships that are established between people in the process of communication, and qualify its participants.
In the system of addresses adopted in society, official relations are manifested that have been established between people belonging to certain social groups.
Appeals are divided into official, accepted in society, and appeals, determined by the informal relations of people.
A change in social relations also leads to a change in the system of speech etiquette: the old forms either go out of active vocabulary or acquire other shades of meaning. Official appeals undergo the greatest change, unofficial appeals change to a lesser extent.
After October, the system of speech etiquette formulas underwent significant changes. New socio-economic and cultural relations destroyed the old system of relations and brought to life new socially determined formulas of speech etiquette. Appeals sir / madam /, gentleman / lady /, sir / madam /, gracious sovereign / gracious sovereign / they began to leave verbal communication, they were replaced by new ones, and the named formulas acquired various shades of meanings. Noble titles and titles of prince, baron were abolished, the class-hierarchical ladder was abolished, and in connection with this, your excellency, your excellency, your lordship, your highness, your highness, your nobility went out of active speech use.
In modern Russian word usage, only some of the official address formulas adopted in pre-revolutionary Russia have been preserved. There are words in the diplomatic language that are not terms in the full sense of the word, but serve to express international politeness. International comity is a concept denoting rules that, without being legally binding, are applied in international practice due to their practical convenience on the basis of reciprocity or at the request of the state applying them. The speech formulas of international politeness are varied. Basically, they are used only in diplomatic relations. Such are the appeals to representatives of the capitalist states, foreign diplomats: sir, madam. In the etiquette of diplomatic relations, titles and forms of titles that are not accepted in the USSR are also used. When addressing the heads of monarchical states, your majesty, your highness are used.
In the official appeals of the heads of capitalist states to the head of the Soviet state, the titles your excellency and the address sir are also accepted.
The address master was still retained after the revolution in a specific bourgeois environment longer than other forms of address. Madame's appeal also lived for a certain time, sometimes it can be heard in colloquial speech even now.
After the revolution, new forms of official addresses appeared - comrade and citizen. The word comrade is a very old word that had many meanings: a comrade-in-arms, an accomplice in a campaign or a trading journey. From the indirect meaning of the satellite, which was already in use in the old days, for example, boyar / such and such / and comrades, official pre-revolutionary terminology was developed: assistant prosecutor, deputy minister, that is, assistant, deputy minister. After the revolution, the word comrade was used in relation to comrades in the party, in the class. In the late 30s, during and after the Patriotic War, the word comrade began to be used as a common address.
Equally interesting is the life of the word citizen, used as an address. Until the end of the 18th century, the word citizen was used in the sense of a city resident. Then the meaning of the word changed. Already at the beginning of the 19th century, along with the former meaning of the word - a resident of the city, the word citizen is also used in a different meaning: a member of society. In this sense, the word functions in the second half of the 18th century. The word citizen in the 19th century denotes a person who benefits society, subordinating personal interests to the public.
Emperor Pavel tried to put the word citizen out of use in Russia after the French Revolution, seeking to contrast the manners of Russian monarchical society with those of revolutionary France. (It was also forbidden to wear round hats, because the emperor saw this as solidarity with revolutionary France).
After October, the appeal citizen began to be used as an official one, the appeal comrade - as a less official one.
Comrade- stylistically neutral, used more often in relation to a man.
Comrade teacher /driver, policeman, seller, passenger, etc./- official, used in relation to men and women on the basis of the profession or the nature of the occupation at the moment (when referring to a woman, nouns - the names of professions - cannot be used in the feminine form: secretary, etc.).
Comrade chief / manager, director, etc. /- official, can also be used in relation to leaders whose surname and name are known.
Comrades! Fellow delegates / parents, students, radio listeners, TV viewers /- neutral, used as a common form of addressing the audience.
Comrade Petrov!- official, used in relation to an unfamiliar person. Comrade passengers! - we hear in transport. Comrades, dear comrades! - sounds from the TV screen and on the radio.
Universal appeals in the store are combinations: Comrade seller! Comrade cashier! They are suitable for any situation of trading communication. Of course, if the tonality corresponds to the business situation. The call girl! that we hear in stores is hardly suitable for a woman of any age standing behind the counter.
It is more appropriate to address with the “magic” words: Excuse me… Excuse me… Be kind… Be kind… Please tell me… Would you be so kind… so kind… Please… Please come here… Would you say… Would you advise you ... I would like to consult with you ... Help me, please .. Is it not difficult for you to help me ...
Named phrases - these are the most common forms of attracting attention, followed by a question, request, suggestion.
Emphatically polite phrases like Would you be so kind ... Sorry to bother you ... Sorry to bother you ... - are usually used by older people.
We are all buyers. Therefore, communication between the buyer and trade workers should bring satisfaction to both parties. It is no coincidence that in many stores there are signs: “Buyer and seller! Be mutually polite! Each of us has the right to be respected by others, but we also have a duty to respect others. Compliance with the rules of etiquette is an expression of this mutual respect, courtesy: in the store, at work, on vacation, in transport.
In the role of appeals words can appear that help to accurately address speech: nanny, driver, duty officer, doctor, neighbor, etc. By themselves, these appeals are not polite or impolite. It all depends on the situation in which they are used. For example, an appeal to the duty officer in the class is possible - duty officer, an appeal to an outsider with an armband on duty - comrade duty officer, telephonists of long-distance stations use the word duty officer in communication with each other.
A stranger is often addressed with the words: man, woman, grandfather, grandmother, aunt, uncle, mother, mother, father. This form of address is impolite and disrespectful..
An outsider can be addressed with the words: citizen, comrade, young man, girl.
In the television program "Man and the Law" (December 1990), a journalist conducts a survey of Muscovites: what forms of address they use, prefer, offer. Appeals, madam, gentlemen, were perceived as unusual. Often referred to as common girl, citizen. The men, addressing each other (as they said, in their own way), used the addresses man, brother. All respondents noted the widespread use of addresses man and woman.
Today, the attitude to the words citizen, master, comrade in the role of appeals is far from unambiguous and not simple.
In this regard, the polemical article of the journalist N-Andreev in Novoye Vremya is very interesting. The title of the article speaks for itself: "Hello, comrade capitalists!". No less informative is the subtitle: "The fact that all over the world is a matter of education and taste, we have a big policy." So, what is the article about?
“At one scientific symposium, the speaker began his speech with the usual words: Dear comrades!” The comrades sitting in the hall, from such a usual address, began to look at each other in bewilderment, and then they laughed knowingly: Mr. Professor deigns to joke. Paul Craig, a US economics professor and one of the architects of Reaganomics, addressed the Soviet audience in a comradely manner. It was more customary to hear from him: Ladies and gentlemen! ..
It seemed conversion is a matter of education, taste, culture. However, in our socialist society, by the way a person is addressed, one can judge his political orientation, ideology, and class affiliation. The appeal immediately determined the status of a citizen: if a comrade, then, therefore, ours, ideologically tested, class pure. Gentleman - attention is here, this can be suspected of everything: counter-revolutionary, exploitative inclinations, anti-communism. Citizen - there is a clear criminal implication here. There was a comrade, but a citizen under investigation became.
In general, the word comrade has a place in a rather narrow sphere of life - official, party. It was used and is used at meetings, official events. Everyday life, everyday life rejected him. And not for some counter-revolutionary reasons, but simply inconvenient to use it. Comrade, of course, is a proud word, but I want not only pride, but also warmth, gentleness, trust, so that the appeal distinguishes us by gender. Comrade Ivanova - and immediately there is something in a leather jacket, with a Mauser. That is why these monstrous appeals have taken root in our country - a man, a woman, a girl ...
Appeal comrade is attachment to party ethics. And not only to the ethics of the Communist Party, but also to the ethics of the Social Democratic and Socialist parties. Because of what quite curious collisions sometimes arise. At one time, Willy Brandt came to Brezhnev as chairman of the Socialist International. And he turned to the General Secretary of the Central Committee of the CPSU, Comrade Brezhnev. And the general secretary, who before that, during official visits to the FRG, called Chancellor Brandt mister, now addressed the chairman of the Socialist International in his own way: Comrade Brandt. An amusing episode arose during this visit. During the official reception, Andrei Andreyevich Gromyko had to leave somewhere. And Brezhnev casually explained to the guest: "Mr. Brandt, Mr. Gromyko must leave us..."
Apparently, it is worth remembering that the members of the National Socialist Workers' Party of Germany addressed each other only as a comrade. Which, by the way, creates a lot of difficulties for our translators when they need to translate the direct speech of this or that fascist leader. They agreed that they wrote: "Comrades, I am addressing you, your Fuhrer ..."
Today this topic is how to address this or that person - acquires a new political meaning. For example, how do members of the USSR Federation Council address each other? After all, in many republics, the address sir, madam is quite officially introduced. This is how they treat in republican parliaments, in everyday life. And even in the Supreme Soviet of Russia, the appeal of comrade is avoided. The usual address, judging by the transcript of the sessions of the session, is Dear Deputy, Dear Colleagues. Apparently, Mikhail Gorbachev is addressing Vytautas Landsbergis, sir. And to Anatoly Gorbunov, Chairman of the Supreme Soviet of Latvia? In the republic, Gorbunov is a gentleman, but he held a party post in the past. Everything got mixed up...
If we touch on the linguistic origin of the word master, then it has Latin roots, leads a genealogy from the word master. And N. Petrushenko, People's Deputy of the USSR, very sensitively caught this. When discussing the law on property, he said: “Today, we cannot but be alerted by the words about labor private property, but tomorrow, when billions of the shadow economy and mafia money will make it possible to make private property dominant, will this not lead to the restoration of capitalism? Will the people support you, comrade deputies? And so I want to say to those deputies who proposed this, not comrades, but gentlemen deputies. I wonder how the deputy Petrushenko would address the KamAZ workers who own shares? What-no, and the owners. Are they still friends? Or already gentlemen? Most likely gentlemen. Masters of your property, masters of your destiny. To be a master, one must own something.
We, working in the press, - says N. Andreev, - to our amazement, also fall into the category of "gentlemen" more and more often. A phrase from a reader's letter: "There is nothing to be cunning, comrade journalists, or, perhaps, already gentlemen?" No, no, yes, and it will break through: "These gentlemen are democrats." Of course, we are no masters, we do not own anything, we have no property. But it can hardly be taken as an insult.
Address sir, madam can never be offensive or derogatory. One of my acquaintances in Riga says: “But I like it when they call me madam in the store.” Some new relationships are emerging in life today, and they are reflected in the relationships between people. Including how they address each other. I remember that in the 60s, Vladimir Soloukhin proposed introducing the appeal sir, madam. Then they laughed at it, as if it were a fad. Maybe they would take it more seriously now.
Still, in our life there is not enough benevolence, disposition, if you like - camaraderie. Very often you come across anger, aggressiveness, suspicion. I recently got ready for a business trip to Cherepovets. I learned that there is an enterprise there - the Ammofos association, where people, despite the harsh reality of perestroika, are trying to do something. And they have success. I call the director of the enterprise V. Babkin, by the way, a people’s deputy of Russia: I’m going to you, I want to tell you about the bright things in our life, give people hope ... I stumble on an aggressive tone: there’s nothing for you to do here, I didn’t call you, I don’t want to talk and see you . Here is your fellowship. I wanted to give up on a business trip to Houston - there, I heard, there is an enterprise where they know how to work - to come to the managers: “Hello, comrade capitalists! Share best practices in a comradely way…”
I am sure that many will perceive these notes as a call to abandon the appeal of comrade and go to the gentlemen. I am not calling for anything. Neither the journalist nor even the entire press is able to introduce a new appeal. And even the Supreme Council of the country is not able to do it. You can't introduce this even by a referendum. The social conditions of life must seriously change in order for any new appeal of man to man to be established. It cannot be imposed. Only a society is able to work out how it is more convenient for its members to address each other.
One of the brightest means of showing courtesy is a polite you in accordance with an intimate you.. These pronouns express a certain tone of communication, making it neutral, businesslike, friendly, intimate, or even deliberately rude and impolite.
The transition from you to you (and vice versa) is socially and psychologically conditioned. Originally Russian, traditional, is the appeal to you. For many centuries, Russian people spoke this way to everyone: relatives, older people, higher on the social ladder. Such are the appeals in fairy tales, in prayers to the king, to God. In the 18th century, when the European style of behavior was established in Russia through the efforts of Peter I, an appeal to you appeared in the Russian language, borrowed from Western European languages. The plural appeal to one person originally had a special meaning: you alone are worth many. This, as it were, emphasized the special politeness to each other.
Once in Russia, the European form for you began to mix with the usual, proper Russian forms for you. The linguistic traditions of each nation are very strong and deep. At first, and even later - in the 19th century - the collision of you and you was the cause of many curiosities, comical and absurd speech situations. In L. Chekhov's story "You and You" the following dialogue is given between the investigator and the witness:
Tea, do you know Severin Francych?
You need to say ... You can’t poke! If I tell you ... you you, then you must be polite even more so!
It is, of course, superior! Is there something we don't understand? But listen to what's next...
Zealots of the purity of the Russian language, active opponents of all sorts of borrowings, also opposed the polite European you. V.I. Dal called such an appeal “distorted politeness”, and to make his position convincing, he cited the proverb: “It is better to poke in honor than to poke out with a trick.” The derogatory meaning of this rhyming proverb is obvious.
The clash of two forms of address in Russian, dating back to two different language systems (you are native Russian, you are Western European), is exacerbated by another contradiction. It is connected with the semantic content that fills these appeals themselves.
The appeal to you, which has a long history in Russian, is especially expressive. On the one hand, it can mean a friendly-intimate appeal that exists between people who are close, well-known, beloved, etc. In conjunction with various words-applications brother, mother, my mother, my father, uncle, uncle, grandfather, my friend, my friend, etc., it is able to reflect the most diverse shades in relations between people and at the same time soften speech, give it exceptional sincerity. The stylistic originality of both appeals was sensitively caught by A. S. Pushkin: You are empty of heart, She replaced by saying a word, And all the happy dreams In the soul of a lover aroused. Before her I stand thoughtfully: There is no power to take my eyes off her; And I say to her: how sweet you are! And I think: how I love you!
Elementary courtesy requires a respectful attitude towards any stranger.
Only a lack of moral education, culture can be regarded as a one-sided appeal to colleagues, especially in relation to older ones. In non-observance of age discipline, arrogance, spiritual deafness and bad manners are manifested.
The transition to you in business communication can only be bilateral and voluntary: this is due to the spiritual rapprochement of people and the warmth of relations. The initiative in the transition to you should come from a senior in age and official position.
Addressing you in the absence of informal relations between people is perceived as an insult, not to mention a violation of etiquette.
Subtle observation is made, for example, by A.P. Chekhov during a trip to Sakhalin. Talking about visiting the cells of the exiles in the Alexander Prison, the writer draws attention to the fact that the guards in hard labor do not see people, but they themselves get drunk in the company of exiles, sell alcohol. Therefore, “the exiled population does not respect them and treats them with contemptuous carelessness. It calls them “crackers” in their eyes and tells them YOU. Officials tell the warden YOU and scold him as they like, not embarrassed by the presence of convicts ”(A.P. Chekhov.“ Sakhalin Island ”).
Addressing you without a combination with the name and patronymic can also be offensive: "Listen, you."
In the sphere of business communication these days, the polite you is active. Correctly such an appeal to students and high school students.
“Among the appeals to you and you, a very important place is occupied by appeals concerning the relationship of managers with subordinates,” rightly notes V. Kadzhaya, the author of an article in the Megapolis Express newspaper. Here is what he writes: “Some leaders, addressing their subordinates as you, are trying to bring a kind of theoretical base under this manner of communication: they say, I am a simple person, I got used to it without ceremony. In fact, contempt for the "conventions" of etiquette also turns out to be a "childhood disease of leftism", only in relation to the sphere of human relationships. For a long time, talk about etiquette has not been perceived as a bourgeois relic. Good manners, good manners are one of the facets of culture, therefore a cultured, well-mannered person will never do anything that can offend or humiliate another. It is this humane meaning that is invested in the concept of "education". And the higher the culture of a person, the more self-esteem is developed in him, the more painfully he experiences the appeal of the boss to you. He feels like a humiliated person, and a humiliated worker is always a bad worker.
In a cultured person, you always sound natural and warm, and not cold and prim, as some supporters of addressing you seem to think.
In an official setting, a one-sided you, if it comes from a junior in position, looks like familiarity, and if it comes from an older one, it looks like rudeness, while a two-sided you gives it a hint of familiarity.
“For example, it jars me every time,” writes V. Kadzhaya in the cited article, “when in the program “Facing the City”, G. Kh. Popov, who is deeply respected by me, calls the host of the program Notkin simply Boris, and he calls him by name and patronymic . But Boris Notkin is far from a young man, he is older than the same Sergei Stankevich, who often takes part in the program, but Gavriil Kharitonovich addresses him exclusively as “Sergey Borisovich”.
Formally, addressing subordinates as you is condemned, but far from always and everywhere they speak to subordinates regardless of age, gender and official position.
The author ends his observations optimistically: “Good manners have become an ethical norm that increasingly permeates our relationships at work and at home. You almost never meet a boss who would pound on the table with his fists and unleash a waterfall of square abuse on his subordinates. Times change, and we change with them. We are changing, thank God, for the better” (Megapolis express, 1991, no. 2).
So, you should contact:
- to an unfamiliar or unfamiliar person;
- to your friend or buddy in a formal setting of communication (in the presence of officials, at a meeting, meeting, etc.);
- to equal and senior in age and position;
- with emphatically polite attitude.
Contacting you is possible:
- to a well known person
- in an informal setting,
- in friendships, intimate relationships,
- equal or younger in age.
The change from the usual you to you can be due to various reasons and can also be regarded in different ways.
In an informal setting, this is a sign of emphatic politeness, resentment.
The hero of the story by V. Krupin "In her city" Kovalev is in a depressed state. Everything annoys him, including his wife's conversations. But she does not understand this, and Kovalev angrily throws her:
God! Can't you understand that I, like any person, can have their own joys and sorrows. Can't even an hour be yours?
Well, well, well! You can stay as long as you like with yourself.
When she took offense at him, she switched to "you".
In an official setting, changing you to you (for example, among teachers) is a manifestation of generally accepted norms of treatment that have developed in a given social environment. With students, teachers usually call each other on you and by name and patronymic.
The pronouns you, you, your are capitalized when referring to you to a person indicates great politeness. Such spelling is used when referring to a stranger or unfamiliar person, to an equal and older (in age, position) with an emphatically polite attitude towards him.
In modern speech communication, the formula hello, hello is used to express greetings, stylistically neutral and not having social correlation, formulas are also common, the use of which depends on the time of day: Good morning! /Good morning!/, Good afternoon! Good evening!
Hello is usually used in an informal setting between acquaintances when referring to you. However, the operation of the combination hello, address to you, and by name and patronymic is possible:
Hello, Pavel Mikhailovich! In this case, the use of the formula is determined by the degree of acquaintance of the speakers (close) and age (this is how people of middle and old age usually call each other).
Among the greeting formulas there are many emotionally colored constructions, such as: Whom do I see! Long time no see! How glad I am, how glad I am! How are you doing! Glad to see you!
These constructions are used independently or in parallel with other greeting and address formulas.
Between well-known people (more often young people), casual greetings such as Salyut are possible! Hello!, but they are not literary, and therefore the scope of their use is limited. The most common in speech etiquette to indicate goodbye is the neutral formula - goodbye / see you soon /. In the meaning of farewell for a long time or forever, the word goodbye is used! / goodbye!/.
Constructions are also used to express farewell: be healthy (be healthy), all the best, all the best, all the best, good night, good night, stay happily, have a good trip, good hour, do not remember dashingly, with a touch of wishes, stylistically neutral and indistinct socially marked.
Etiquette formulas of congratulations and wishes occupy an important place in circulation, their use creates an atmosphere of joy, kindness, respect for people - relatives, friends, colleagues.
Numerous devoid of social overtones, stylistically neutral constructions with an organizing center congratulations: congratulations /eat/ you /you/, hearty congratulations /eat/, with all my heart /from the bottom of my heart/ congratulations /eat/, congratulations /eat/ on your holiday, birthday , New Year.
In an informal setting, when contacting acquaintances or close people, a construction without a verb to congratulate can be used: happy holiday, happy birthday, birthday girl.
The design has a solemnly official shade let / those / congratulate you / you / .
Congratulations are almost always associated with wishes: with all my heart I wish you; I wish you success; happiness; good luck; I wish you all the best; I wish you everything, everything.
The formula of gratitude, which is obligatory for favorable contact, is widespread in speech communication.
In response to good deeds, words, feelings, it is natural for a person to experience gratitude. The moral requirement to repay good for good arose a long time ago, because it is a manifestation of the principle of justice in human relationships.
The arsenal of opportunities to thank a person is quite extensive.. The most common word is thank you, which arose as a result of the fusion into one word of the stable phrase God save, which gradually lost its original meaning. Thank you is used as an etiquette formula on its own or with qualifying words: thank you; thanks for all; thanks for the bread, salt; and thanks for that.
Another series of etiquette formulas of gratitude with the word thank you: thank you / you /, very grateful to you / you /.
To enhance the meaning of the thank you formula, it is possible to use combinations after it: you are very kind, you are very kind, sometimes absorbing the meaning of gratitude and used independently.
In response to gratitude, it is possible to use the word please and phrases: not worth it, not at all /neutral./, always at your service /official./.
The most important element of the culture of communication is an apology. In speech etiquette, the most commonly used formulas, the core words in which are the verbs excuse, forgive.
Very wide social boundaries have a neutral sorry / those / used when referring to a person with an apology for a misconduct, for anxiety, for any violation of etiquette, to warn about something.
When apologizing for a minor misconduct and violation of etiquette, sorry / those / are used.
In the fiction of the 19th century - in Chekhov, L. N. Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Goncharov, Blok - the form of the verb I apologize is often found, rejected by the traditional literary norm as rudely simple river. In the old, pre-revolutionary vernacular, the form I apologize arose, perhaps not without the influence of politely obsequious obedience, but gradually it became a simple colloquial doublet of the literary excuse.
For example, Chekhov:
Elena Andreevna. When you tell me about your love, I somehow become dumb and don't know what to say. I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything."
“Voinitsky / does not let her in /. Well, well, my joy, I'm sorry ... I apologize /kisses the hand/” /“Uncle Vanya”/.
In combination with the word please, the verbs are sorry! those, forgive! those! denote an enhanced polite request to apologize for what has been done, said, for something unpleasant.
The structural variants of the formulas of apology with the word I ask are very diverse: I apologize, I apologize, I ask you to excuse me, I ask you to forgive me.
The order of the components in the formula can vary: please excuse me, please excuse me.
The above formulas are synonymous with the word guilty / guilty /, which has a wide variety of shades, due to the situation of communication and the individual characteristics of the speaker's speech manner.
Negative models are possible: don't be angry with me; don't be angry that...
Apology formulas like: sorry, sorry, guilty (guilty), I apologize, I apologize - are possible if the speaker is going to disturb someone / with a request, with a question /.
Speech etiquette formulas can become introductory - for example, combinations sorry for the expression, sorry for frankness, sorry for frankness.
The answer to an apology is usually the words: please, it’s not worth it, nothing, what are you, what nonsense, it’s okay, it’s a trifle, etc.
The request is most often conveyed by neutral models: I beg you, I beg you, for God's sake / for God's sake /.
In an informal setting, when communicating with people you know, the formula “be / those / friend” is used, which has the tinge of a friendly request. In combination with other request formulas like “I beg”, it expresses an urgent friendly request:
Tolkachev (Murashkin). Be a friend, don't ask anything, don't go into details... give me the revolver! I beg you!" (A.P. Chekhov. "The tragedian willy-nilly").
The social framework for the functioning of this formula is very wide. The same meaning of a friendly request has a phraseological unit not in service, but in friendship, used in an informal conversation of friendly people.
The request formula is very widely used in various situations, including please and the verb in the imperative form: please, say ...; please explain…; don't talk, please...etc. The verb can come before or after the word please. Just as widely used are request formulas, the organizing center of which is the structure I (po) would ask you + the infinitive of the verb: I would ask you not to interrupt, I would ask you to clarify what was said, etc.
The informal atmosphere, friendly relations between people who are socially equal determine the functioning of the formula in colloquial speech, I have a request for you / you /. The content of the request usually consists in the following remarks: "I have a request for you: call tomorrow."
Often, a request to allow something or to allow something to be done is expressed in an interrogative form. A polite, non-persistent appeal may begin with the words: May I...?, Isn't it possible...?, Can't I...?
A formal request can be expressed in the words: allow, allow, but always with a subsequent clarification of the essence of the request.
For example, let me call, let me ask, etc.
The word ask often acts as an independent invitation formula or the organizing center of the formula, drawing attention to what is being asked for.
Please, please - a polite form of treat or invitation to enter, do something.
An invitation to listen to what the speaker is going to report, or to pay attention to something, is expressed by the formula I ask for attention. The content of the action, to which the attention of others is drawn, is usually prompted by subsequent replicas of the dialogue or by the situation.
If someone invites another person to come out to him or break away from the business he is busy with, or just wants to say a few words to him, in the colloquial speech of people who are socially equal in an informal setting, the invitation formula is used for a minute, for a minute, with the meaning of not only invitations but also requests.
The formulas of speech etiquette are structurally very diverse, have different shades of meaning and use, are closely related to the situation, are determined by the subject of the dialogue and many other factors.
When they speak with people, they should be politely, politely, reasonably,
not talk a lot. Then listen and do not interrupt other speeches, but let everything be said and then present your opinion. If a deed happens and a sad speech, then one should be sad and have regret. In a joyful occasion, be joyful
This is how an unknown author instructs the youth of Peter the Great "The Youth of an Honest Mirror"
Speech etiquette in one form or another has always existed. The culture of communication has ritual, sacral roots. The word for our ancestors had sacred power. They believed that speech affects people and the world around them. It was believed that only with the help of words it was possible to cause some events or avoid them. The expressions that we now perceive as simple formulas of politeness used to be wishes that, according to the speaker, have quite a material force. For example, thank you - “God save”, “hello” - “be healthy”. Can you imagine how responsibly you need to approach your speech with such a worldview? Even in ancient times, there were bans on some words and phrases that we now perceive as abusive, abusive and also try not to use.
In a broad sense, speech etiquette enables people to successfully communicate with each other. In this sense, it is associated with the postulates of information transmission, which were formulated by the Anglo-American researcher Herbert Paul Grice in 1975:
- the message must be truthful and have a basis (quality);
- the message should not be too short or lengthy (quantity);
- the message must be valuable to the addressee (attitude);
- the message should be understandable, not contain obscure words and expressions (method of reporting).
Speech etiquette as a system manifests itself at different levels of the language:
- at the dictionary level, this is a special vocabulary, set expressions ( please, Thanks, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, goodbye), accepted forms of address ( comrade, lady, sir);
- at the grammatical level, the plural for polite address (for example, the pronoun You), replacing imperative sentences with interrogative ones ( Can you help me?);
- at the stylistic level - cultural speech, literacy, the rejection of obscene words, the use of euphemisms;
- at the intonational level - depending on the intonation, the same phrase can sound either polite or offensive;
- at the level of correct pronunciation: for example, you should say " hello" instead of " hello";
- at the organizational and communicative level: you can’t interfere in someone else’s conversation, interrupt the interlocutor, etc.
Speech etiquette in business communication
Dale Carnegie, author of the worldwide bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People, wrote that a person's success in financial matters is about 15% professionalism and 85% communication skills. And the master is certainly right. Speech is an essential part of a business image. The ability to convince, win over, lead with the help of words is the key skill of a successful person. Let's look at the applied rules of speech etiquette that will help you at work.
The theater begins with a hanger, and the culture of communication begins with a greeting. If the meeting participants do not know each other, they need to introduce themselves to each other. The first to call himself the head of the host, then - the main position among the guests. Then they introduce their colleagues. If a large delegation arrives, a list should be prepared showing the full names and positions of all participants.
At a business meeting, the younger one is introduced to the older one, regardless of gender. If you've met your partner before, it's best to introduce yourself again. If someone has not identified himself, you can ask him about it. Try to remember the names right away so that you don’t look impolite later.
In a business meeting, it is customary to shake hands as a sign of greeting and reaching an agreement. The age-old question: who should be the first to give a hand? Here they are, these people:
- the person to whom you are introduced;
- one who is higher in position and older in age;
- a woman, and she may not participate in the handshake at all, the choice is hers.
General principles
Speech etiquette consists of the rules of speech behavior and stable formulas of polite communication. Knowledge of these rules gives a person self-confidence, increases his social status, helps to build relationships with others. Speech etiquette plays an important role in business communication, where success largely depends on the impression that partners make on each other.
Let's find out what are the basic principles of speech etiquette.
What are the basic principles of speech etiquette?
For all civilized peoples, the basic principles of speech etiquette are tact, politeness, and goodwill. At the same time, in different cultures there are national and religious features of communication.
Tactfulness implies understanding the interlocutor, refusing to discuss topics that may be unpleasant for him, and a calm reaction to tactless statements and questions on his part.
Politeness requires using certain speech formulas in communication, avoiding offensive words and expressions. And also listen carefully to the interlocutor, do not interrupt him, answer the questions asked, do not subject his words to harsh criticism.
Goodwill consists in respecting the views of the interlocutor and the mood for positive, friendly communication. It is expressed in the choice of words, intonation, facial expressions and gestures.
The age, gender and status of the person we are talking to should be taken into account. The norms of communication with the boss and with the child differ, but are invariably built on the principles of speech etiquette.
Speech etiquette includes:
Politeness formulas (greetings, farewells, apologies, thanks, requests, etc.);
Forms of appeal;
Taboo - non-use of prohibited words and expressions;
Politeness formulas in the scientific language are called communications or relativs. They serve in speech not to convey information, like ordinary sentences, but are a reaction to circumstances or words of another person. The meaning of these terms (eng. communicate - “connect” and relate - “relate”) indicates their “cementing” function in communication and relationships between people.
Communication has evolved along with human society. They are different in different languages, but are present in all peoples and in all forms of civilization.
Speech etiquette
Speech etiquette requires you to respond with a greeting to a greeting. Lack of response means disrespect for the interlocutor and a clear violation of etiquette.
People greet each other not only if they know each other, but also when addressing a stranger with a request, question, offer.
The same rules apply when saying goodbye. Leaving or interrupting a conversation without saying goodbye is a violation of etiquette.
Adding the word "please" is the simplest and most common form of request.
In response to gratitude, you should say “Please” if it is not about food. In this case, the answer is: "Health."
The one who gets up from the table says “Thank you” to those who remain, even if they had nothing to do with cooking. It means "Thank you for the company." When everyone leaves the table at the same time, for example, in a restaurant or at a reception, it is not customary to thank the neighbors.
The phrases “Not worth gratitude” and “Nothing for” are not recommended, since they partly belittle the grateful feelings of the interlocutor.
Wish "Be healthy!" often said when a person sneezes. At the same time, the sneezer should thank. However, etiquette recommends, on the contrary, "not noticing" someone else's sneezing and not reacting to it in any way. This rule is not familiar to everyone, and your interlocutor may be offended if you do not wish him well. A possible way out is to follow etiquette in official and secular settings (at business negotiations, at a reception, etc.) and say "Bless you!" in a situation of everyday communication: at home, in the office, at a meeting with friends.
