Squeamish forum. Disgust: natural feeling or pathology


Disgust is commonly understood as the presence in a person of hypertrophied reactions of neglect, disgust, intelligibility in relation to other objects or phenomena. The feeling of disgust was conceived by nature as a perfect tool that protects a person from the adverse effects of external factors.

Indeed, the habit of washing hands before eating, and not taking food with dirty hands, is a completely useful and rational quality. In most cases, hostility and disgust are caused by dead bodies, waste products of the body, and certain dishes. Although not everyone knows what gaps are - cadaveric poisons, on a subconscious level, a person avoids contact with decaying flesh. The reaction of disgust is triggered at a subconscious level and cannot be controlled by a person's willpower.

However, there are people in whom disgust reaches enormous proportions and makes it difficult to normal existence in society. At its core, excessive disgust is an extreme form of disgust that has developed against the background of an irrational obsessive fear.
A squeamish person has an irresistible desire to protect himself from contact with those objects or people that cause disgust. The feeling of disgust can be aimed at absolutely any object: one person will never put on other people's things, another individual will desperately fight with house dust, a third person will not visit public places, fearing infection.

Common objects of disgust: when the norm turns into pathology
The natural reaction of a healthy body is a feeling of disgust and hostility, a feeling of excitement or fear of objects that have a disgusting smell or repulsive appearance. There are a lot of options for the manifestation of excessive scrupulousness and disgust. As a rule, any person has a strong desire not to touch and avoid contact with any objects or objects of the living world that he interprets as a source of disease, pain, discomfort, disgusting smell or harmful dirt. However, in some situations, neglect, exactingness, legibility reach gigantic proportions, crossing the border of normal disgust. Let us describe the main objects that cause particular dislike in people.

Disgust in eating
Excessive discriminating is almost always based on irrational fear, even when the person is unable to give any logical explanation for what causes an uncontrollable threat.
One of the common objects of disgust is the impossibility for a person to eat food prepared outside the home. Such a person refuses to dine in a restaurant, will not become a member of a dinner in a friendly circle. And snacks in inexpensive cafes are out of the question for such an individual, since he is firmly convinced that the products were necessarily stale and of poor quality, the dishes were prepared in unsanitary conditions, the cooks did not follow the cooking technology.

The second variant of squeamishness in food is the refusal to consume certain foods and products, since the person is convinced that they pose a threat to his health. Some people do not dare to include mushrooms in their diet, others refuse to accept sausage products bought in the store, others will not eat fruits and vegetables from the market, preferring products grown in the garden. It is worth noting that in this case, exorbitant disgust is focused on a particular product or group of goods.

Another type of manifestation of disgust is aversion to the joint eating of dishes. Such persons fiercely hate when someone tries to taste the food that is on their plate. The individual simply loses his appetite, even if his soulmate has bitten off his apple. The rejection of eating together is not at all a physiological aversion to the process of eating, but a subconscious desire to protect and protect one's personal space, an unconscious desire to distance oneself from other people.


Exorbitant disgust often manifests itself in relations between a man and a woman. Before the upcoming intimate date, such persons are overly careful with hygiene procedures and require similar actions from the partner. If, in their opinion, their companion turns out to be not clean enough or a natural but unpleasant smell comes from his body, they will simply end their relationship with him.

It should be noted that the requirements for body cleanliness in such persons go beyond all reasonable limits of hygiene. Such hypertrophied disgust is often caused by the instinct of self-preservation and is fixed in people with insufficient functioning of the immune system. Performing unthinkable hygiene procedures, such a person instinctively tries to protect himself from infection.
For other people, going to the shower before and after an intimate meeting is a kind of ritual of purification. On a subconscious level, such subjects consider sexual intercourse to be a dirty and shameful act, and with the help of water they try to wash away their “sins”.

An equally common form of excessive disgust is a complete rejection of any non-standard actions in bed. For such an individual, an intimate meeting is possible only in the classical position with the lights off. Any hints of a partner to diversify the intimate sphere cause a deep protest and a feeling of disgust. Such disgust is an unconscious mechanism that operates in order to avoid the pressure of a partner, not to allow oneself to become a driven and dependent person.
A very unpleasant feature of this form of disgust is the fact that a person, if, in her opinion, something is wrong, will not be able to experience the pleasure of an intimate meeting, and subsequently completely lose the desire for sexual intercourse.

Disgust in contacts with the outside world
Excessive scrupulousness when interacting with other people is one way to clearly define the boundaries of your living space. For one individual, sanitary boundaries are in the use of their own comb, toothbrush, towel. For another person, stationery, a computer mouse, a plate and a cup are endowed with immunity status.

The roots of such disgust often go back to childhood, when the only child in the family was brought up by overly pedantic and very careful parents. For such a person, his personal belongings are the holy of holies, and attempts by other people to use his property cause a violent protest that borders on hatred. The reverse side of such excessive concern for personal things is a constant feeling of nervous tension, the expectation of an imminent invasion of his territory.

Another variant of disgust is the restriction or complete avoidance of contact with people that the individual considers "dirty" and "unsafe". It is quite normal that a healthy person will not start friendly relations with the homeless, will shy away from communicating with people infected with hepatitis. However, squeamishness often goes to extremes: a person does not accept communication with some circles of the population, for example: with people working at a construction site, since he is firmly convinced that persons of such a specialty are “dirty”.

Another form of excessive dislike is the conscious avoidance of crowded places. Such an individual will not visit hospitals, because it seems to him that there is a high risk of infection in medical institutions. He, even in case of emergency, would rather run five kilometers on foot than use public transport. For him, his own dwelling is a holy temple, into which entry is strictly forbidden for outsiders. Often, such disgust is adjacent to hypochondria, when a person begins to look for symptoms of non-existent diseases.

Disgust in front of dead bodies
A few do not experience some antipathy and slight excitement at the sight of dead bodies. However, if necessary, they may attend the funeral. For a person with excessive disgust, the sight of a dead person causes an extreme degree of disgust. Such an individual is simply fixated on his fear and cannot get out of his head thoughts about the likely observation of the body of a deceased person. At the same time, disgust is caused not only by a real life picture, but also by the plot of the film, in which the dead are present.
The origins of such hostility are fear of death, a state when a person is extremely afraid of his own death and projects his death onto the bodies of dead people. With this form of disgust, it is necessary to urgently seek medical help, since such a phenomenon will be aggravated over time.

Disgust for waste products
Dislike and aversion to excrement is a completely normal reaction. However, there are people who disdain to visit a public toilet, they cannot clean their own bathroom. It is very difficult for an overly squeamish person to clean up after a pet. Some ladies find it difficult to take care of their own baby.
It is necessary to clearly realize where rational cleanliness crosses the line of the norm, transforming into an insurmountable and uncontrollable fear of pollution. In the case of a pathological course of disgust, the only reasonable way out is to consult a psychologist and take measures to correct your destructive thinking.

There is another extreme degree of disgust - or phenomena. This condition is much more dangerous than excessive disgust, because such people have a high risk of experiencing the pangs of food poisoning or becoming a victim of pathogenic microbes.

How to deal with excessive disgust: measures to eliminate hostility
Some people believe that excessive disgust should not be fought at all, believing that this reaction is an indicator of physical and spiritual cleanliness. They are convinced that even an excessively exaggerated sense of disgust helps decent people protect themselves from problems and troubles. There is a point of view among the people that disgust is an indicator that a person strives for a complete “purification” of the world and wants to stay clean and safe in all areas of life.

However, doctors are unanimous in their opinion: with excessive disgust, which has reached the form of a phobia, it is imperative to fight. Excessive discriminating and excessive dislike, no matter how these feelings are expressed - whether it is a passionate love for a vacuum cleaner, or a panic fear of bacteria - this is a dead end and a wrong route in life. Pathological disgust is a sign that the individual at some point turned into impenetrable jungle and is trying with all his might to get through the thickets. However, he cannot unravel the tangle of conflicting desires of his own, weed out the invented rationalizations, eliminate the chaos and disorder that reigns in the soul. A person is not able to resist life's difficulties with natural methods, he does not have enough strength to control his emotions, which is why he subconsciously builds various restrictions.

It is quite difficult to overcome disgust in excess sizes: you need to be patient and not expect that changes will happen momentarily. The main condition for successfully getting rid of pathological hostility is the person's awareness of the presence of a problem, a sincere desire to eliminate the flaw, and a firm determination to work on oneself for a long time.

Effective assistance in overcoming exaggerated disgust will be provided by a qualified psychologist or psychotherapist. The specialist will provide assistance so that the client can discover the underlying causes of hypertrophied scrupulousness. During psychotherapeutic sessions, a person will be able to establish triggers for the development of unconscious fear and identify factors that cause extreme disgust. The patient will discover the features of his personality, learn constructive options for meeting his own needs, be able to expand the boundaries of his personal space without discomfort, and in the future will be in contact with the objects of the surrounding world without hesitation.

Disgust is a mechanism of unconscious determination of objects of dislike or disgust. The feeling of disgust can be directed to any objects (both living and inanimate), as well as processes. It is formed as a natural mechanism, without the involvement of the mechanisms of consciousness, which initially ensures the survival of a person.

Disgust is formed on the basis of a feeling of fear and is a form of defensive behavior. Natural mechanisms of disgust cause this feeling in relation to dead bodies, waste products, secretions, i.e. to what is dangerous for eating and being in close proximity. The danger from these phenomena is not direct, i.e. a person is not attacked by a decaying carcass, but cadaveric poison, deadly bacteria, toxic substances can lead to death, without the mechanism of disgust. At the biological level, disgust is regulated by the olfactory analyzer, and a person can absolutely not connect logic to finding out if there are pathogenic microorganisms, for example, in a liquid, the gag reflex will simply work, in most cases even before consumption.

Such a feeling can arise not only because of biological factors, then it is defined as moral disgust. The mechanism is the same, only aimed at avoiding certain places or people, i.e. social manifestations. For the most part, it is customary to suppress such disgust, for the sake of preserving the image, recognition, and correct relations. But this is not always appropriate, since not only food is toxic, but also interaction with people can destroy a person.

What is disgust

For ordinary people, the feeling of disgust is characteristic of its manifestation within the normal range and serves as a signal system about unsuitable conditions, things or people. Signals are read automatically by the visual and olfactory systems.

The mechanism of the appearance of disgust is archived in the subconscious, which recognizes unfavorable components and gives out a reaction, because. as with any other survival reflex, procrastination can be fatal. Data or a list of negative objects are formed on the basis of life experience, and some of them are laid down by evolution.

Evolutionary objects of disgust include corpses, feces, fetid liquids, chemicals (acids), poisons. This is the accumulated experience of generations, which has formed a successful survival strategy. In addition to the laid down, their own list of disgust is formed, depending on the characteristics of the biography of each person. This may include foods that once caused serious poisoning, places where an infection of any disease occurred. The human brain itself can form disgust in order to prevent negative consequences, so there may be an aversion to milk after visiting a barn and catching the smell of manure.

Moral disgust arises in situations of collision with forms of behavior unacceptable for a person. , betrayal, pompous behavior, humiliation and many more human manifestations can cause disgust in others. Partially, this list is formed by society, which lays down the mechanisms of coexistence, and, accordingly, behavior that violates this list is regarded as threatening, and the person as unpleasant. Part of the disgust and disgust is formed gradually in a toxic relationship or during trauma, when the human psyche has received too much of something. This can be insults, humiliation, constant nit-picking, but with the same success there may be an aversion to praise, lisping, infantile behavior.

How to get rid of disgust

This feeling can often interfere with life and provoke uncomfortable situations. A person with strong disgust causes ridicule, accusations of meticulousness and many other small remarks. Therefore, there is a need to get rid of disgust, but first you should stop and think.

If you prefer to drink from your cup, do not use a public toilet, carry hand sanitizer in your purse, then this is about hygiene. Naturally, there will be those who have never followed them, but if you start behaving the same way, then the risk of catching an infection increases.

Disgust does not appear without objective reasons that are of vital importance or is a reflection of the pathological processes of the psyche. Accordingly, if some smell makes you vomit, then you need to move away from its source. Even if it's your boss demanding to stay in the office, your sense of smell may have subconsciously picked up an increase in the level of adrenaline in his blood, which is an unsafe situation for you. Also, do not forcefully absorb food that does not cause appetite, so as not to offend the hostess of the house, because it may contain products that you are allergic to or are slightly expired. For most organisms, this will go unnoticed, but for your sensitive it will be a disaster. Disgust can manifest itself with a weak immune system, and by turning off these sensations, you simply put yourself at risk.

When disgust is not a reflection of the physical condition of a person, then it can be provoked by psychological reasons. Increased purification measures, the presence of individual hygienic items and rituals indicate the need for control over one's own life, i.e. this is what causes the placebo effect, but it works. In this case, you can work on the stability of the individual, her, the levers of influence on her own life. Explaining the degree of danger of handrails in public transport and other points will not eradicate the problem, it will only shift to the other side.

Disgust is a system of established routines and habits, it is formed by about three years of age and helps to establish the framework for interaction and contact with the outside world. It is precisely because of such a long and strong formation that changing the level of disgust is a difficult and very often useless task. It is easier to look for compromises in interaction, to listen to your own feelings. If you are literally sick of a person, then instead of exerting willpower, try to break the situation into bricks, and perhaps you will understand that this person negatively affects your life or causes a previously unconscious feeling of fear with his actions and judgments.

This is what concerns the state of the norm, when there is no need for deliverance, but it makes sense to learn how to use your sensitivity. But there are also pathological states of disgust, which are symptomatic of disorders of the psychiatric spectrum, and sometimes represent a separate disease.

Misophobia - excessive disgust, associated with disorders of the schizoid and autistic nature. It manifests itself in an increased fear of dirt and infections, when a person washes his hands at intervals of fifteen to thirty minutes, constantly uses an antiseptic, washes with a very hard washcloth and wipes all the surfaces around him. Public places cause panic with the opportunity to come into contact with another person, eating and going to the toilet are possible only at home. Such a state disrupts the social life and adaptation of a person, not only he himself begins to suffer, but the people around him, professional achievements are destroyed.

There is also a pathological condition opposite to mysophobia, when disgust is completely absent. A person can eat any food (taken out of a garbage can or finish eating after a sick relative), not wear a protective bandage in a TB dispensary, and not wash their hands after contact with a lichen kitten. This deviation is more life-threatening than mysophobia, since the risk of infection or poisoning is much higher, and the body's reflex defense mechanisms are disabled.

In both cases, a person may not be aware of their behavioral disorders, then the responsibility of loved ones is to arrange a consultation with a specialist. Usually a team of psychiatrist and psychotherapist works to solve the problem. The first selects medication (anti-anxiety and anti-obsessional drugs), and the psychotherapist helps to deal with the causes of such behavior and find other ways of regulation.

What is a feeling of disgust and when does it go beyond the usual cleanliness? Why do some people have this feeling associated with fear, while others have a sharp need for cleanliness? Is it possible to get rid of squeamishness or is it a persistent character trait?

A feeling of disgust, a feeling of fear of objects that have an unpleasant smell or appearance. A sharp desire to move away from something or someone who is regarded as a source of dirt, stench, pain or illness, as well as neglect, exactingness, pretentiousness, legibility, pickiness - there are a lot of options for the manifestation of disgust.

It has always been believed that hypertrophied disgust is a feeling inherent to a greater extent in representatives of the so-called high society, as a manifestation of a “fine mental organization”, and therefore a more sensitive and vulnerable psyche. And that is why it is customary to think that squeamish young ladies are more often found in city libraries, universities or museums than in village clubs, cowsheds or poultry farms.

How true are such statements?

In addition, sometimes disgust can develop into a phobia or an obsession with cleanliness, significantly affecting the quality of life and psychological comfort of its owner. In such cases, a person begins to deliberately avoid situations and circumstances in which there is a risk of encountering potential sources of disdain, or spend the whole day cleaning, laundering, licking his home, workplace or his own body.

What really is a feeling of disgust and when does it go beyond ordinary cleanliness?

Why do some people have this feeling associated with fear, while others have a sharp need for cleanliness?

Is it possible to get rid of squeamishness or is it a persistent character trait?

Let's try to understand the system. A feeling of disgust can manifest itself as the properties of the skin, visual or anal vectors in certain conditions.

I feel the microbe with my skin

Representatives are particularly sensitive skin. In addition, it is dermatologists who, like no one else, are concerned about their health, because this is a value, a resource that must be spent with restraint and extremely rationally. Sports, healthy eating, diets, daily routine - all this is easy for them, since the ability to self-restraint is due to their psychological nature, and high-intensity metabolism quickly makes the results of such efforts noticeable.

However, in a state of stress, it is the skin that reacts first. Stress in the skin vector can be caused by a major material or social loss, such as: dismissal from work, demotion, theft of property or other valuables, it can also be a loss of time, money, opportunities, connections, employees, invested efforts and others. resources.

Unhealthy conditions of the skin vector or stress reaction of the skin can be manifested by a feeling of disgust, as the possibility of penetration of bacteria through the skin as a result of tactile contact with dirty objects. Pathogenic bacteria are a direct threat to health, which means that it is a risk of even greater loss.

The psychological stress of the skin specialist in bad conditions translates into negative skin sensations, pathogenic microbes appear almost everywhere: on door handles, handrails in vehicles, in catering places, toilets, and so on.

Increasingly, a person has a desire to wash their hands, wipe them with napkins or antibacterial agents, a feeling of disgust is caused by any shared items, cutlery in restaurants, buttons in elevators, as well as handshakes, hugs, kisses and other gestures that involve contact with the skin of another person .

The skin can react to stress with itching, rashes, redness, spots, even pain or the development of inflammatory reactions.

With an understanding of the psychological background of such somatic manifestations of negative conditions of the skin vector, the problem of disgust is solved by itself and its problematic skin manifestations go away, in addition, the effectiveness of the treatment of skin diseases increases significantly.

Cleanliness or an obsessive passion for cleanliness?

Representatives sometimes explain their predilection for cleanliness with disgust. The division into “clean and dirty” is embedded in their mentality so deeply that it manifests itself in all spheres of activity. For example, judgments in the style of "my blood - my children" or the bride must be a virgin - a "pure woman" are a manifestation of exclusively anal properties.

This very property of the psyche helps real critics, experts or analysts to detect and remove that “fly in the ointment” that spoils the entire result of work, to find an oversight of the performers, an error in a large-scale project, an incorrectly inserted screw in a huge mechanism and correct it, which makes such highly qualified specialists in their field are the most valuable and sought-after employees.

In the case when a person with an anal vector loses the opportunity to realize the existing properties in society (leaves his job, retires, etc.), he may try to realize his psychological needs in a different way, which sometimes turns into a real passion for cleanliness.

Explaining to everyone around and to himself his behavior by increased cleanliness, a person begins to fill all his time with cleaning, cleaning, washing, washing and other similar activities, rubbing everything around to a shine and forcing all household members to participate in maintaining the most severe regime of sterility.

The manifestation of such ultra-cleanliness, which affects the quality of life of both the cleanliness lover himself and his family members, is evidence of growing shortages, frustrations, and a lack of realization of the innate psychological properties of the anal vector. All this can be successfully corrected by being realized in socially useful activities, while receiving much more pleasure and satisfaction than from the hundredth rubbing of the toilet bowl or washing the curtains.

In any case, understanding the nature of one's desires, conscious or not, makes it possible to receive the most complete pleasure from life - from the satisfaction of existing psychological needs.

Disgust to horror, or fear of dirt

If disgust is associated with the fear of touching something or someone dirty, smelling bad, which is associated with the danger of contracting any disease, these are most likely manifestations of visual fears.

The properties of the visual vector find their content in emotions, a visual person always feels the need for an emotional connection with others, he enjoys communication, from the exchange of emotions, but the direction of these feelings and emotions - either to receive or to bestow - already depends on the level development of the visual vector.

Fear of death, fear for one's life - this is the most primitive emotion, directed inward, to receive. It was able to fill the properties of the visual vector only at the very beginning of the development of mankind, in the time of early people, the ancestors of modern man. Then visual observation, curiosity, special vision, capable of distinguishing a predator or enemies lurking in an ambush, multiplied by a strong fear of death from the teeth of these same predators, gave the viewer a unique ability to quickly and strongly be frightened, thereby warning the entire human flock in time about the threat of danger. It was this ability to be frightened that saved the early spectator his life.

Time passed, humanity developed, the ability to be afraid for one's life no longer gave the fulfillment that it had before. Temperament, or the strength of desire in the vector, increased with each new generation, the properties of the vector found their realization in art and culture, in raising children and instilling moral values, in medicine and charity.

The primitive early fear of death, fears for one's life grew into the ability to be afraid for others, to sympathize, to empathize with one's neighbor, to be afraid for his life and health, which means that they made the viewer able to feel a much stronger and more complete feeling than fear. This is a feeling of love and, as its highest manifestation, a feeling of sacrificial love for all people, for all mankind, when the fear FOR THE OTHER becomes stronger than the fear FOR YOURSELF. At such a high level of development, the representative of the visual vector does not feel the desire to fill himself with a feeling of fear in any of its manifestations, fear for him is no longer the emotion that can satisfy him.

Feelings of love and compassion satisfy the need of the visual vector for emotions many times more fully and intensively, which means that the pleasure from such satisfaction is many times greater than the weak and temporary pleasure from experiencing fear.

An emotional connection with a person, which implies GIVEAWAY, that is, sincere pity, compassion, love for those people who need help, is a kind of aerobatics, filling vector properties at the highest level, which corresponds to the temperament of a modern person and gives the highest enjoyment from activities based on such feelings.

Often, as a result, the development of the visual vector stops at the level of fear, or rather, at the level of obtaining pleasure from experiencing fear. The break in the emotional connection with the mother, homemade scarecrows, scary books, fairy tales, films, violent computer games, and the like fix the child in a state of fear, gradually he learns to enjoy self-scare and continues to look for the filling of visual properties in a similar vein. This manifests itself in addiction to horror films, in emo or goth movements, various kinds of superstitions, omens, up to the formation of persistent phobias or panic attacks.

Disgust, as one of the manifestations of a primitive sense of fear of death, is an attempt to realize the existing visual properties at the most elementary level, and the formation of various phobias against the background of increased disgust indicates a low level of development of the visual vector.

Lyrical digression, or transition to personality

The author of this text cannot boast of a high level of development of the visual vector, since until a certain time she herself was terribly afraid of the dark, mice, snakes, spiders and even ... bridges, more precisely, to cross the bridge over the river if water was visible under her feet. It got ridiculous, I was forced to look for another way, bypassing the bridge, or walk with my eyes closed so as not to see the water under my feet, since it was simply not possible to take even a step. I was drenched in cold sweat, my legs became cottony, a shiver ran through my whole body, all the limbs turned to stone, it was getting dark in my eyes. There was no explanation for such a strange phobia, I simply avoided any walks on bridges.

He bothered me much more and more often. A dark entrance, a stairwell, a burnt out light bulb in an elevator or corridor, even two steps from the switch to the bed inspired me with real horror, in the stillness of the night I constantly heard some suspicious sounds, scary shadows flickered or monsters seemed to be. The included night light has become a commonplace in my room, and a flashlight in my purse has become an indispensable part of it.

For some reason, I associated disgust with supposedly high intelligence and a refined emotional nature. It’s funny now, but the sight of a comb with tangled hair, an overflowing trash can, dirty nails, a handkerchief, or a poorly cleaned public toilet caused a fit of nausea and disgust.

And then there was admission to the medical institute. Life turned upside down, studies overwhelmed me, practice in hospitals gave me a sea of ​​new sensations and experiences, I wanted to know and be able to do everything at once.

Only now I gradually understand why there was such a greed specifically for skills, the desire to work with people, to treat patients. For the first time in my life, I received the filling of the properties of the visual vector of such a high level.

One duty was replaced by another, one hospital - another, polyclinic, therapy, infectious diseases department, children's hospital, intensive care ... shock! It was a real shock from the emotions that overwhelmed me. Resuscitation from the first duty took a huge place in my heart, and therefore in my life. It was nursing work - patient care, fulfillment of appointments, compliance with hygiene requirements, asepsis-antisepsis rules, communication, human participation and direct assistance to people who need it like no other - became my passion. The issue of choosing a specialization was finally resolved already in the third year.

Only now, after many years, I understand that I was so drawn to work in intensive care. Now I clearly remember how, just a few months after starting work, I walked absolutely calmly along the dark corridor of the night department, went into the wards of patients, without turning on the light so as not to disturb their sleep. Sounds of artificial respiration apparatuses, which seemed to strangers, were quite ordinary for me and not at all scary.

Any fear is gone in principle, it is not at all! Gone was even a hint of any manifestation of disgust when caring for postoperative wounds, when working with blood and other fluids, during hygiene procedures or helping to eat. All this was a joy. Work filled me like never before. It was a pleasure never seen before.

Nothing has ever given me such pleasure!

Emotional connection with a person who is suffering, relief of his pain, giving away emotions, attachment to each patient gave rise to a sea of ​​feelings of the highest level, in which one could simply drown.

I wanted to give, compassion, empathize and humanly love all my patients again and again, even the fact that more than 90% of them will never even be able to remember the faces of those who cared for them did not stop them. The desire to give was stronger than the desire to receive the opposite feelings. No one expected gratitude; the very possibility of giving filled it.

Absolutely separate feelings were for those who could not be saved. Yes, it's sad, it hurts, it's always a residue and a shade of guilt that they didn't do more, even if they did everything possible and impossible.

There were many different things: donating one's own blood, and buying medicines with one's own money, and zealous arguments with colleagues, and studying books all night long. And the patients left, but still there was no feeling that all this was in vain, there was no feeling that the forces were wasted in vain, there was not even resentment against the relatives who cursed us ... there was only a very special feeling of gratitude, no, gratitude to the departed.

It was as if we weren't pushing ourselves to the limit trying to save their lives, but they were doing us a favor by accepting those feelings, those decisions, the energy that we tried to put into them. Thanks for accepting our donation.

Such feelings, experiences of such strength, emotions of such a level, they overwhelm you, sweeping away all this emotional husk and stupid little things like fears, phobias, panic, disgust, superstitions and similar psychological garbage. In comparison with the sensations of the return of emotions, all primitive attempts to consume them seem like some kind of empty nonsense and childish pranks. They don’t fill more, they don’t attract more, they don’t act in life, they don’t affect its quality, they are not present at all in the emotional sphere, they don’t exist, as if you outgrew them, discarded them as useless, like an unnecessary thing.

Significant changes took place in life, but the explanation of those changes and the awareness of the nature of one's feelings came only now, with the formation of systemic thinking and a deep understanding of what is happening in the psyche.

Thus, even without initially having a high level of development of the visual vector, one can learn to find the content of the existing properties at the highest level and pull oneself up a notch even in adulthood, when the process of development of vectors has already been completed, because the end of puberty is far in the past.

If there are properties, then they require their filling, the presence of a vector means the presence of corresponding desires, but the satisfaction of these desires, or rather, the option or method of satisfaction, depends only on you. The choice determines the intensity of filling, and hence the pleasure you receive.

Disgust, no matter how it manifests itself, whether it is love for a mop, or horror of germs, is a dead end, an erroneous turn on the path of life, somewhere you have turned the wrong way and are trying to make your way through the jungle, entangled in your own desires and contrived rationalizations.

In such cases, understanding yourself, your nature of desires, the mechanisms of the psyche becomes simply necessary so that life does not turn into an endless run in a circle, either from dirt or to cleanliness. The right journey through life is the one that gives joy, that leads to the present and brings the greatest pleasure from the realization of only one's own, innate psychological properties.

Proofreader: Galina Rzhannikova

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»