When a child is first caught in a lie, the parents are horrified at their discovery: “My God, he lied! What will be next?" Meanwhile, this means that the child has entered adulthood and his brain has developed enough to use various strategies to achieve the best result for himself. For example, not to be punished.

Of course it sounds terrible. It sounds like a child's lie, and we should look at it as a stage of development. But let's ask ourselves a simple question: why do people lie? Evolutionary psychologists argue that both children's lies and adult lies are possible only because of the complexity of the human brain. The brain can calculate and plan for different outcomes of the same situations, where a person will look better, maintain a relationship, or achieve some kind of additional bonus in his life.

The topic of lies is still the cause of philosophical and morally oriented disputes. The question is really quite ambiguous. What is the correct behavior in relationships, is it possible to lie in a relationship? What is better: to be honest, to bring pain and, possibly, to be rejected, or to tell a lie, to bring peace to a person and remain a good friend? Not all people are able to accept not only bitter and painful, but also simple everyday truth. Is it ethical or unethical to lie in a relationship when saving the life and well-being of your family? How obvious is the benefit of lying when the laws of the state are observed? Should I tell the truth to the dying man, or ensure his happy ending by leaving him in the dark? What is moral, what is right? Different people choose different paths.

Theme of lies: how many people lie per day

The question of how often people lie is so intriguing that a lot of research has been devoted to it. One of the latest works (2016) showed that 40.1% lie at least once a day. The record holder of the study on "How many people lie per day" was a man who lied 45 times in 24 hours. Contrary to popular belief, women lie just as much as men. It is difficult to say how true these data are, because liars can lie about their lies. In another study, college students were shown to lie 1 in 3 times when interacting with classmates and faculty. 1% of students reported that they do not lie at all.

If we talk about personality characteristics, then extroverts lie more than introverts. For the former, it is important to keep external connections and demonstrate their personal qualities as often as possible, some of which do not always take place; the second is not particularly necessary. Considering the question of who lies more often, one can answer with confidence: very responsible people lie less, because they feel the need to comply with contracts in their literal sense.

The benefits of lying

There is a big lie ("black"), which is often associated with betrayal of relationships or aimed at extracting personal gain at the expense of others. A small lie ("white") concerns small everyday issues and, in general, does not change anything. It is often aimed at exchanging emotions and demonstrating loyalty and acceptance.

The benefit of lying lies in the fact that it plays a significant role in interpersonal interactions. There is an opinion that lovers during a romantic relationship are more open to each other than married couples. However, it turned out that they deceive each other or give incorrect information in one of three cases. Lovers try to look their best in the eyes of their loved one and express their loyalty. In married couples, partners lie only in one out of ten cases.

And one more thought on the topic of lies: which lie is better - "black" or "white"? Of course, you can immediately say that "black". It acts destructively, brings grief to others and certain unpleasant feelings to the liar. However, the "white" lie is not so simple. Although many people think that lying about small things is a small sin, as a rule, they unconsciously still pay for their unseemly act. A very recent study published this year found that 85% of restaurant goers lie about how much they enjoyed their food. At the same time, 95% of waiters easily recognize a lie, expect a good tip and receive it. Another study shows that people who lie about the quality of their colleague's work take on more work. Habitually lying people spend much more on charity.

Theme of Truth and Lies

Since a lie is a rather controversial phenomenon, it is surrounded by many myths, which, as usual, do not correspond to reality. They were outlined in one of his articles by psychologist Jeremy Sherman.

Falsehood and truth are clearly separated from each other. In fact, these two extremes can be quite cunningly mixed together. The topic of truth and lies is so extensive that several concepts can be distinguished: half-truth; the truth told from a certain point of view; truth with the addition; two-digit "truth".

Lie- a rare occurrence, mostly people tell the truth. Lies, as you can see from the previous story, are not so rare. People use it from time to time, achieving personal goals.

If you misrepresent the facts and misinterpret them, then you are lying. Here the personal view and experience of a person, his cultural experience and unconscious desires are of great importance. A certain interpretation may be the result of ignorance, i.e. information of this kind is not always a lie, except in the case when a person does it deliberately.

The more questions you ask your opponent, the more accurate the information is, and therefore closer to the truth. The liar may be alerted by the abundance of questions and quite skillfully begin to lie, as a result of which the survey will lead even more away from the real facts. In addition, much depends on what kind of truth the questioner is looking for.

The truth is liberating. Not always. On the one hand, to tell the truth is to relieve oneself of the burden of silence and, perhaps, the behavior associated with the preservation of some secret, for the sake of which one has to lie. On the other hand, the truth imposes responsibility for what happened or for the consequences.

You can lie about the future. Then just say that, they say, he wanted to, but it didn’t work out due to circumstances. But you can even do without manipulation, and lay responsibility on the same future.

The better the relationship, the less people lie, the worse the relationship, the more lies between partners. In fact, in bad relationships, people tell each other the bitter truth. Sometimes they just want to evoke negative emotions in a partner, and sometimes they just don't care about the consequences and effect. In good relationships, people often use "sweet lies" and "white lies."

A half truth is as good as a full truth. No matter how it seems, there is still half a lie in the half-truth. What effect will it have on the person being lied to? How will this change his life? Sometimes this is critical for relationships and leads to wrong decisions.

If everyone is lying, then you can lie painlessly. Society or the decisions of others cannot justify one's own decisions. Each person must take responsibility for their own actions.

Every person must always tell the truth. In theory, this is good, but you will also have to bear responsibility for the full truth, as well as for lies. Truth is often subjective. What one believes to be true may be false to others. It happens that subjective truth also destroys relationships.

Paranormal Activity: True or False?

As for children, under the age of 7, the reasons for children's lies lie in the desire to avoid punishment, attract attention, impress parents and friends, and improve interaction with society. Scientists say that four-year-olds lie once every 2 hours, six-year-olds lie once every hour. At the same time, 98% know perfectly well what they are doing wrong. In general, 96% of children lie.

In adolescence, the number of liars is reduced, but they still exist. For a teenager, the impression he makes on his peers is of great importance. For this reason, he often embellishes or directly invents stories about himself and ascribes various qualities to himself, despite the fact that if a lie is revealed, a social catastrophe among his peers may await him. For example, none of the adults will seriously think about the story of a teenager about a paranormal phenomenon: is it true or false? The same age will listen to a fascinating story with interest, analyze it, and only then make a conclusion about how much they were deceived by the “friend-storyteller”. So, one study showed that out of 36 stories told by teenagers, 12 are completely false. This also applied to those very notorious paranormal phenomena, when children passed off an outright lie as the truth.

Children do lie more than adults. But thoroughly considering the reasons for children's lies, it can be confidently stated that the basis lies in the uncertainty when interacting with the outside world, the need to please and be loved. As children age, they adapt better to life and become more truthful. The only way to teach a child to be truthful is to give him self-confidence.

When it comes to the art of lying, everyone immediately thinks of women. But if you remember those who lie the most, men come to mind.

What is this stereotype and is it based on something more than prejudices?

Why do men lie

Source: iStock

Each of us has our own reasons to lie. It all depends on the situation, the prevailing circumstances, and even on the worldview of the liar.

A guy lies to make himself look better than he really is. He can embellish his financial situation or his position.

By inventing a story about his cool car, a man will quickly arouse the interest of the opposite sex.

But such tales are told not only to impress the girl, but for a perfectly acceptable purpose. Having lied, the guy becomes more confident in his own abilities, and therefore stops stuttering and getting nervous during a conversation.

There are liars among both sexes, but it is much more important for men to feel confident in themselves, which is why they have gained fame as deceivers.

There are many reasons why guys lie. Most often, they want to improve the situation and achieve a certain goal with the help of dishonest methods ...

A guy will lie about a work meeting without telling his girlfriend that he actually spent the evening with friends, watching football and drinking beer.

The reason for lying is simple - unwillingness to quarrel or feel guilty, because he is well aware that he did not do well. Men often think that lying is the lesser of evils. They don't understand that a lie is always worse than the truth.

How to understand that a man is lying?

Source: iStock

How to understand that a man is lying? Take advantage of what psychology and psychophysiology have given us. These sciences study the physical reactions of the human body.

Lying requires mental and emotional effort from us, which is why it becomes much easier to understand that he is lying due to the following body reactions:

• The guy doesn't make eye contact. His gaze runs around the surrounding space, but does not stop at the interlocutor.
• The liar is sweating. During a conversation, a man sweats on his forehead, temples and above his upper lip, even if he is in a cool room or on the street.
• His breathing quickens. The interlocutor breathes as if he ran a marathon before the conversation.
• There are pauses in the conversation. Lies need to be thought out in advance, and when improvising, there are hitches.
• The timbre, tone of voice, and also the speed of speech change slightly.

In the question of how to determine a lie, attentiveness and the degree of closeness with a person are important. If a woman knows the interlocutor well, it will not be difficult for her to guess when he starts to lie.

Moreover, the female eye distinguishes falsehood more sharply: perhaps also because the fair sex has better developed intuition.

Each person has their own symptoms that indicate a lie. Some rub their earlobe, others scratch their eyebrows, others sniffle all the time.

The question of how to find out that a man is lying is actually not so important. It is much more important to understand the reason for such behavior and do everything to hear only the truth in the future.

What to do if a man is lying

Not so long ago, a device appeared on the market under the sonorous name Truster, according to its developers, this is a portable emotion detector, in the Russian version a lie detector. To understand the principles on which it works, you need to remember what a lie detector is and where they are used.

From films and detective books, we know how the classic lie detector works, the test subject is asked endless questions that can only be answered in monosyllables. The background for such tests is a chair entangled with wires, all kinds of sensors placed on the human body. Indeed, those detectors that were used in specific government services recorded up to 50 parameters, starting with the electrical conductivity of the skin and ending with the release of sweat, movements of the pupils. Scientists have tried their best and tried to cover almost all possible human reactions. A survey on such a lie detector of an average person will lead to the fact that he will not be able to deceive when answering clearly posed questions, willy-nilly, he will indirectly have to tell about himself, his plans. The main thing here is correctly asked questions, since a free presentation by the subjects themselves does not lead to unambiguous results, the probability of error increases greatly. The cost of such detectors in the basic configuration is from 60 thousand, but you will not be able to find such an offer in the public catalog of goods. Customers around the world are government agencies, exceptions are extremely rare.

Interestingly, some of our citizens have encountered lie detectors, getting a job recently. I will make a reservation that such systems are used contrary to Russian law, employees, in an effort to keep their job or just get it, go for checks on such devices. It is clear that simplified versions of lie detectors are installed in commercial organizations, they are able to take several parameters at the same time, the measurement accuracy is also lower. As a result, the data obtained on them is very conditional, testing on them is rather a psychological technique, focused on processing the consciousness of not very knowledgeable people. Indeed, it is very easy for the security service to keep the secretaries and cleaners at bay, it is guaranteed that there will be no “accidental” disappearances of things from the wardrobe or the dining room. On the other hand, such issues have always been in the administration of personnel officers, in well-organized companies, such problems do not arise at all.

Here is what one of my comrades said, a couple of years ago, he was involved in similar systems in the public service. For obvious reasons, after his dismissal, a completely different entry appeared in his work book that could have been. With a clear conscience, he went to get a job, which he found through an agency. The interview was successful, already talking with the personnel officer, Andrei (let's call our character conditionally that way, this is not a real name) found out that the final decision on admission depends on the results of the polygraph test. Gritting his heart, he agreed to it, the security officer escorted him to a separate room, where the necessary entourage was created. Several sensors, a computer in the corner and a paper, which they gave to sign before the test, that Andrei has no complaints and expresses a desire to voluntarily test his mental stability. According to lawyers, such papers have no real force, it is rather an additional safety net for the company.

The session of questions and answers was quite fast, in 20 minutes the operator asked all the necessary questions. The questions were quite interesting, some of them touched upon the details of his personal life and were, to put it mildly, extremely intimate. Andrei, by his own admission, told a lie 50 percent of the time, but the system was unable to track this. In the future, it is important to answer similar questions as well. As it turned out later, all personnel pass the detector once every six months. Our character got a job, for another year and a half, he successfully bypassed the lie detector, until he changed his job. From his words, it follows that any self-confident or well-motivated person (protecting loved ones, for example) will bypass the system with little difficulty, in non-profit organizations there are simply no real lie detectors. Everything that is bought for quite a lot of money is handicraft or semi-legal developments that have extremely low efficiency. They calm the minds of the owners of the company, who believe that they are protected in this way. In fact, the smarter security chiefs are simply extorting money from them for such devices and increasing their importance in their eyes.

But, even if you spend not so much money, you can buy a portable emotion detector, it’s correct to call it that. There are several models on the market, one of them is Korean-made Truster. Technologically, the principle is used that, regardless of the language (Russian, English or even Bantu), when a person deceives, a “treacherous tremor” appears in the voice. Indeed, tonality, loudness, as well as the very profile of “truthful” answers are taken into account during the utterance. Initially, the device is calibrated, for this you must turn on the appropriate mode and ask about 5-6 questions, the answers to which will be known to be true. For example, you can find out the gender of a person, whether he works or not, and only after that you can proceed to the first tests of the detector. At the first stage, it’s even better to do without questions, and ask the person to tell everything in their own words.

Several parameters are displayed on the screen, one of them is the volume of statements in the form of a ruler, the aggressiveness scale does not require additional explanations, there is a boiling teapot icon next to it, the last parameter is the actual assessment of the veracity of the statements. If the image of an apple is completely gnawed, then the person shamelessly lies, if it is not bitten at all, then they tell you the truth and only it. Real tests have shown that Truster uses an inexpensive microphone, which, unfortunately, is sensitive not only to the voice of the interlocutor, but also to ambient noise, this significantly reduces the likelihood of correct interpretation. The same applies to the calibration stage, if possible, Truster should be used in quiet conditions, which sharply narrows its scope. But even in quiet conditions, the device is not always adequate, any words with a lot of hissing cause a stub as a result. An attempt to measure the volume level showed that there are actually three values, conventionally they can be called a voice (ordinary speech), road noise (just on the street where there is a stream of cars), an airport (I think it’s clear). In general, this scale is useless, it is of no interest when using the built-in microphone. It is more interesting that there is a cord in the set, which can be connected to the phone through a regular pin connector and a headset is hung on the other end accordingly. This is where the volume scale starts to work, since there are no extraneous sounds, the cell phone itself filters them. But another problem arises, how to calibrate the device, because it will naturally not work, and a direct request from the interlocutor will cause, at least, bewilderment. I leave for you the solution of this problem, I did not succeed with this.

The aggressiveness scale does not respond to truly aggressive statements, except for those that contain abrupt endings, i.e. if the speech is loud, the phrases are chopped, then something will appear on the scale. Only one indicator constantly changes, showing the veracity of statements. If there are hissing words in the word, then it will certainly display that the person being checked is lying. It seems that the device has a number of patterns in its memory, which it extracts from speech. Similarly, mood indicators in electronic toys operate, providing a variety of responses, and here, apparently, the same principle is based. By analogy with the lie detectors described above, it becomes clear that Truster, to put it mildly, cannot even give an approximate assessment of the interlocutor's statements. But you shouldn't be too strict with this device, it turned out to be an ideal entertainment in the company, a modern toy. I confess honestly that during the evening we asked a lot of tricky, stupid questions in the company, and what the device showed often caused unceasing laughter. Why the manufacturer does not sell the device as such a toy is not clear, the blitz survey showed that many will play with pleasure again in such answers-questions. Believe me, it's really funny, asking the obvious things, and in the end getting an unpredictable result. In this capacity, the device is simply beautiful.

A number of devices are based on the same principle of operation, in particular, a dog barking translator, there are a number of patterns in memory, depending on which barking is interpreted differently. These are modern toys and should be treated like toys. Do not worry if someone decides to test you on a portable lie detector, his testimony will be so chaotic that you do not risk anything. And if you let more hissing sounds into your voice, you can be 100 percent calm. By the way, any click on the case of such devices in most cases leads to their temporary inoperability, keep this in mind. On this, let our short story about lie detectors and similar devices finish. And remember that knowing the principles of operation of such devices is the real power in your hands.

Lies are a widespread communicative phenomenon in the modern world. Scientific studies and surveys show that people lie on a daily basis. However, deceiving every day, people themselves do not know how to understand that a person is lying.

Only a "professional" liar and manipulator knows how to regulate his behavior so that others do not reveal his deceit. Psychologists and physiognomists are able to determine a lie by observing a person. But everyone can learn to recognize deception.

There are many definitions of lying. In logic, a lie is the opposite of truth, a statement that obviously does not correspond to the truth. In everyday life, a lie is called a deception realized by a person.

In psychology, a lie is a deliberate attempt to form in another person a belief that the speaker himself considers wrong. Conscious utterance of a lie is a kind of communication tactic chosen in a particular situation.

There are many types of lies:

• hoax,
• falsification,
• simulation,
• plagiarism,
• flattery,
• fairy tales,
• slander,
• bluff,
• self-incrimination, self-deception,
• exaggeration or understatement
• perjury, perjury,
• a good lie
• good lies,
• naked,
• children's,
• pathological
• involuntary.

Why do people cheat

Why do people lie several times a day? Everyday lie is not a gross deceit, but the concealment of insignificant information, it is a lie “on trifles”. Everyone wants to appear better and does not want to spoil relations with others.

A weighty and significant lie is always associated with some significant situation for the individual. It can destroy the structure of personality and spoil the life of the individual.

A person who is dishonest with himself and others is forced to live in constant tension from the need to hide the truth. The truth will sooner or later be revealed, and the revealed deception will entail a lot of negative consequences.

Scientists have two main versions of why people deliberately lie, even when they understand that lying will not lead to anything good:

1. Fear. Why does a person lie? Because he is afraid to tell the truth, even if he cannot admit it to himself.
2. Belief in the necessity of lying. An individual can be sure that it is better for the interlocutor not to know the truth, since it is difficult to accept, understand, and experience it.

Unfortunately, people are used to deceiving each other, but an unscrupulous lie is not a normal phenomenon, but an immoral act.

Every child is taught from childhood to tell only the truth and tell everything to his parents. But the baby still learns to lie over time, looking at adults. Children easily detect inconsistencies in the words and actions of adults and soon realize that untruth can be used as a way to get what they want.

Unless the person is an inveterate liar who takes delight and pleasure in deceit, he will feel negative emotions and feelings when speaking lies. Lying generates shame, fear, and guilt for making the decision to deceive someone and taking that action.

Saying and experiencing lies is. Negative emotions during a lie excite in the literal and figurative sense of the word, physiological changes begin to occur in the body, expressing excitement. The brain sends nerve impulses to the muscles, which cause visible to others and manifestations of deception.

Signs of a lie

How to know if a person is lying? What are the signs of a lie that help declassify it?

No known sign of a lie can be regarded as direct evidence of it. Conversely, the absence of signs of deception does not mean that a person is sincere.

You need to evaluate the behavior of the interlocutor as a whole. Separate actions and movements are considered in combination with other manifestations of a person in relation to the interlocutor.

The behavior of the subject who is lying differs from his normal, usual behavior. Therefore, it is much easier to determine that a person is lying if he is close or familiar. Determining whether a stranger or an unfamiliar person is lying is much more difficult.

When determining deception, a person is carefully observed, signs of a lie are noticed and his situational behavior is compared with normal behavior accepted in a particular situation and environment. Without knowing a person, it is easy to make a mistake and confuse his habitual action with a sign of a lie.

It is possible to catch the interlocutor in a lie, knowing the truth in advance or having the opportunity to verify the information heard. And how do you know that a person is lying when it is impossible to check his words? In this case, knowledge of the signs of a lie will come in handy.

Signs of a lie are verbal and non-verbal. Verbally, deceit is expressed in verbal form.

Non-verbal signs are divided into:

• physiological,
• mimic,
• gestural.

NONVERBAL SIGNS OF DECEPTION:

1. Increased sweating and increased heart rate. Moisturizes the palms, forehead and skin area above the upper lip.
2. Dry mouth. From experiences, the throat dries up, a person often drinks water or swallows saliva.
3. Heavy, irregular breathing or its delay; deep breaths and heavy exhalations.
4. Constriction of the pupils, rapid blinking; staring into the eyes or, conversely, the inability to look at the interlocutor.
5. Change in complexion, redness, blanching or blotching of the skin.
6. The appearance of goosebumps on the body.
7. Tension in the face: twitching of facial muscles, wry smile, furrowed brows.
8. Trembling in the voice, stuttering, coughing, change in timbre, tone, volume of the voice (provided that these speech defects are not caused by anything).
9. Inappropriate and untimely smile or smirk.
10. Chaotic and fussy movements: walking back and forth, rocking the body and the like.
11. Rubbing and scratching various parts of the body.
12. Frequent touching of the neck and face: nose, lips, eyes, forehead, ears, back of the head.
13. Biting lips, fingers or nails.
14. Nervous twitching and tapping of limbs on the floor or other surfaces.
15. Crossed arms or legs, so-called bodily locks.
16. The desire to hide hands behind the back, in pockets, under the table.

All of the above manifestations can be observed when a person is simply worried, worried, trying to please. For example, before a public speaking or meeting new people. To determine for sure that a person is lying, you can compare his actions with words.

VERBAL SIGNS OF A LIE:

1. Unwillingness to discuss the topic and constant attempts to change it are clear signs of withholding information.
2. Reticence, evasion, or short yes or no answers. When there is something to hide, a person will be afraid to say too much.
3. Oaths. The interlocutor zealously tries to prove his case, swears and repeatedly gives his word of honor.
4. Long reflections before saying or answering something; protracted pauses in conversation.
5. Repeated flattery and attempts to enter. So the liar is trying to switch attention, reduce the vigilance of the interlocutor.
6. Attempts to arouse sympathy and self-pity. This is done so that the interlocutor does not even think to question the incoming information. Is it possible to doubt the sincerity of the "unfortunate" person?
7. Demonstration of indifference, ostentatious indifference to the topic under discussion.
8. Another significant sign of lying is behavioral. The deceiver never keeps his promises and always finds excuses for this.

It cannot be said that a person is lying if only one sign of lying is found. There should be several of them, both verbal and non-verbal.

How to deal with a scammer

According to statistics, the vast majority of women believe that the truth is better than deception, while at the same time, every second man is sure that a sweet lie is simply necessary in difficult life situations. But with age, men lie less, try to be frank.

Unfortunately, some people lie so skillfully that it is difficult to declassify them, relying only on the signs of a lie. Help will come. Having sufficient life experience, one can guess that a person is lying and protect himself from the consequences of deception.

Lies are classified depending on the degree of complexity, the level of "skill" of the deceiver:

• First level

Manipulation without the intention of influencing beliefs. Such a lie is called childish. The deceiver utters a clear lie, not realizing that it is not difficult to declassify him. Why do people lie like children? Because they are afraid of punishment or want to receive a reward, hiding negative or inventing positive actions, respectively.

• Second level

The manipulator convinces the interlocutor of the veracity of the information, realizing that this will affect all subsequent thoughts and actions. Roughly speaking, second-level liars know how to "show off", mislead.

• Third level

A liar knows how to deceive so that he is not caught in a lie. This is skillful manipulation and skillful deception. Fraudsters use tricks, techniques and deception strategies. Such "advanced" lies are not uncommon in politics, journalism, commerce, and entertainment.

Having noticed several signs of lies in the behavior of the interlocutor at once, it is worth considering why the person is openly lying and how to continue to behave with him. But do not rush to bring charges without checking your guesses.

Suspecting the dishonesty of the interlocutor, you need to:

1. Try to keep calm. The natural reaction to untruth is resentment and indignation. But if you express them in the heat of the moment, the deceiver will find a way to justify himself.
2. Guess why the person is lying now. To say exactly why a particular person is lying, only he himself can.
3. Check your assumptions, if necessary, find evidence and facts.
4. Talk to the deceiver, giving him the opportunity to explain the situation, confirm or refute the truthful information.
5. Establish fraud. Having understood the situation, you need to make a decision to forgive the deceiver or stop due to the loss of trust in him.
6. Not everyone will find the courage to expose a liar, sometimes it is dangerous to do so. But when it comes to intra-family conflicts or disagreements at work, it is simply necessary to find out why people lie and dot the i's.

Once a person who lied, it is difficult to regain trust, and if deception becomes a habit, others cease to respect and love. Liars and deceivers often become outcasts, stop in their development, degrade.

Lies can destroy any relationship, personal life and career. Why people lie knowing this remains a mystery. It is much more effective to communicate sincerely, openly, honestly express the available information, your thoughts and feelings to others.

How many times a day do you think the average person tells a lie? Twice? Three? No. According to statistics, this happens up to 50 times a day. Most often this is done unconsciously. The simplest example. Your colleague asks in the morning: “How are you?”. You automatically, without hesitation, answer: “Yes, everything is fine, thank you!”. Even if it's not really all that good. Why is this happening? What prevents us from being honest and sincere?

Psychology of children's lies.

And it all starts with childish lies. From about 3-4 years old, the child realizes that no one can read his thoughts, that he has his own inner world. And at this time he makes the first attempts to tell a lie. Usually these attempts look very funny and funny, and adults often laugh and play along with the baby.

Later, at the age of 5-6, the lie becomes conscious and, most often, is a consequence of the fear of being punished. And the reaction of an adult, for some reason, becomes different. The child is scolded and punished. From this, the kid concludes that he is bad. But not because he was guilty of something, but because he could not hide it.

To everything else, copying adult behavior is added. The child notices how the parents lie. For example, at home, a mother may speak disrespectfully about Aunt Katya, and when she comes to visit, show a completely different attitude. From this, the child concludes that since the mother does this, it is right.

Lie theory.

It turns out that all adults lie. They lie often, and sometimes unconsciously. Some do it out of lack of attention. In this case, the person lies beautifully, sweepingly. Some lie, creating a world for themselves in which they themselves unconditionally believe. Others lie, habitually trying to avoid punishment, as in childhood.

Many resort to lies in order to add prestige to themselves in order to look "cooler" in the eyes of others. Such False occurs in adolescence and often lasts a very long time.

A lot of cases of lies occur when a person is trying to get some kind of personal benefit. For example, when applying for a job. Attributing to yourself a couple of non-existent qualities or embellishing existing ones is a chance to get a position.

And sometimes for a person to lie is simply to save time. For example, a wife asking a question to her husband: “How are things at work?”, Gets a short answer: “Normal”. And here it is not a matter of a conscious desire to hide information, but an unwillingness to indulge in long explanations of the intricacies of the upcoming deal, fluctuations in prices for stainless railings, etc.

How to understand that a person is lying?

There are a number of signs lie theories. They allow with a high degree of probability to identify a liar:

1) the liar chooses his words very carefully, being afraid to give himself away
2) pauses in conversation say the same thing
3) increase in intonation of the voice, occurs unconsciously
4) a lot of unnecessary words, like a wall covering lies

How to get rid of this habit?

Try not to lie one day, one week. You will see how hard it is.
- find out in what situations you lie? Only to yourself? Only with the boss? Only for children?
- analyze what you get by lying? Pleasure? Or maybe you just can't say no? Or are you trying to be better?

And when, after reading this article, you mentally exclaim: “Yes, I never ...!”, think about it, are you lying?