Who are childfree? Personal freedom, women's health, financial well-being and a strong nervous system - it would seem, what could be more valuable?

However, for such happiness, according to the followers of the “childfree” ideology, one must pay with the joy of motherhood and fatherhood. The childfree movement is a conscious refusal of people to have children and continue their race.

Childfree: who are they and how did they appear

The term childfree (from English "free from children") can be called a specific person, movement or the very idea of ​​​​refusing offspring.

The ideology is based on individualism, unwillingness to take on extra responsibility and somehow limit oneself in the pleasures that life has.

Many participants in the movement consider this acceptable, “healthy”. They actively promote the idea that childlessness is joy.

You need to understand that this is a conscious position, firm, unshakable and voluntary. You can't call a childfree girl who can't get pregnant for medical reasons. Or a married couple who temporarily does not want children and is still building a career.

If earlier the craving for motherhood was considered innate, natural for every representative of the weaker sex, then at the time of feminism the “basic instinct” was refuted.

Both the sexual revolution and the invention of reliable and affordable contraceptives played their part. Now ladies can manage their bodies on their own and enjoy intimate games without the risk of becoming pregnant.

The first group to promote childlessness appeared in America in the early 1990s.

This term arose not by chance: in those days, a childless family was considered deprived, inferior. But supporters of emancipation and fighters for women's rights have introduced the opposite concept - childfree.

Group founder Lesley Lafayette used a term coined back in the 70s and gave the idea a new impetus. He had to explain to everyone that childlessness is not a vice, but happiness for those who chose it consciously.

The refusal to give birth to offspring was presented by enthusiasts as the highest degree of evolution of society. A kind of privilege for those who are more developed.

Society against childfree: causes of the conflict

The statistics are relentless: if in 1995 only 6% of women succumbed to the feminist idea of ​​"child-freedom", then today their number increased to 25%. For America and some other countries, this is critical in terms of demographics.

The attitude of conservative societies to childfree is sharply negative. The fact is that in the course of promoting a childless lifestyle, depreciation and censure occurs.

The childfree movement proclaims its principles loudly and from all the stands, clouding the immature teenage brain and making young girls disgusted with motherhood.

In order to attract more tribesmen to their ranks, the founders of the groups compare mothers with many children and free childless. In their statistics, it is shown that childfree are self-sufficient, successful ladies, with high intelligence, excellent education, a virtuoso career, and their own business.

In contrast, there are women-mothers - allegedly who abandoned their dream job, did not graduate from high school, were forced to become housewives and live for the approval of their spouse and child.

The church, both Orthodox and Catholic, also has a negative attitude towards childfree. The Pope has repeatedly stated that he condemns those who are married and voluntarily refused to procreate.

Quoting scripture, he assured everyone that the Bible tells people to receive children with joy, love and care, and no one is given the opportunity to personally choose childlessness. After all, for believers, childbearing is another way to know God.

Where do childfree come from

Typical childfree people are healthy people, on average, from 27 to 45 years old, firmly determined in this life position. This is no coincidence: at the age of 18 to 25, girls and boys are still thinking, looking at the family example.

They don't know for sure if they want to have children. If during this time the lady did not have to become pregnant, she may be inclined to the idea of ​​childlessness for life.

It cannot be argued that the status of childfree is unshakable. Many respondents, who at the age of 20-25 assured that they did not want to have offspring, radically changed their mind by the age of 35. And young dreamers by the age of thirty became cynics and detophobes.

Traditionally, potential childfree people are those who have a solid income and a good education and are an atheist. Today, however, even ordinary religious housewives often take the path of "freedom from children."

The sight of married girlfriends mired in diapers and mortgage debt does its bit. And a successful career, a love of hiking and traveling, a sporty attitude and an assortment of ambitions become the final accent.

Why childfree refuse children

In parallel with the furious propaganda of their position, characteristic of feminism as such, childfree make their own lists of reasons for "voluntary childlessness".

In the top of their arguments against motherhood:
1. Changing the body.
2. Health problems after childbirth.
3. Lack of benefit for yourself.
4. Many diverse restrictions.
5. Aversion to small children.
6. The need to earn more (and spend less on yourself) to provide for offspring.
7. Noise, dirt, confusion and inability to concentrate.
8. The imperfection of the world, in which there is no place for innocent crumbs.
9. Inability to combine motherhood and a successful career.
10. Destruction of marriage and sensual relations of spouses.
11. Personal lack of freedom, dependence on the desires and needs of a small person.
12. Pain during childbirth.
13. Forced refusal from self-realization.

There are also calm childfree people who do not try to wrap the majority in their faith. They pride themselves on having made their choice independently, responsibly, and rationally.

They claim that they simply do not feel ready to give the child what he will need. They defend their right to be whoever they want and to solve the family issue without pressure from society, parents or traditionalists.

Some hundred years ago, the quality of contraception was at such a level that the rule “if you have sex, you have children” worked. A sexually mature person without children was either sick or completely unattractive as a sexual partner or.

Of course, one should feel sorry for such a person, advise him some remedy and secretly rejoice that this cup has passed you.

Relatively recently, we have learned to control our reproductive system without harm to health. And then childfree appeared, which broke the centuries-old pattern.

It turns out that it is possible! To live without children, and no worse, if not better, than with them.

Who are childfree

Childfree is free from children. In Russian, there is not even a complete analogue of this word. The childless are all people without children. For example, those who could not become parents for various reasons, but would like to.

And childfree are those who do not want and do not suffer from this.

Childfree are nothing like each other, although they are trying to somehow classify them. The most famous (because the first) researcher Jean Veevers divided childfree into two groups Why childfree refuse children.:

• rejectors are those who do not like children;
• affecionados are those who are simply fine without children.

Now they are more divided into childfree and childheit (hating children).

How many of them - no one knows. In general, childless from 5 to 30%, depending on the country Voluntary childlessness and being Childfree.. But it is unrealistic to count the ideological childfree separately, because it is necessary to separate them from those who were not allowed by circumstances to have a child. Yes, and the position of a person can change: in one of the studies, people were interviewed with a break of 6 years. And a quarter of those surveyed have radically changed their views Persistence and Change in Decisions to Remain Childless ..

Why do they do it

The main reason is they don't want to. Why exactly, everyone decides for himself. There are many options.

Freedom. Parental responsibilities must be carried out until the child is 18. This is in theory, in practice - all his life. You can't brush it off, run away for a couple of days. Even if you leave the child to your parents and drive off to a desert island without communication, you will have a child.

Responsibility. Not everyone wants to take care of themselves and the child. Someone is not confident in their abilities, someone simply does not like responsibility in any form. And this is the right approach: if a person does not want to take obligations, does not know how and is not going to fulfill them, then there is no need to carry an unbearable burden. Not sure - don't overtake.

Money. Children are, sometimes very expensive. The stories of families in which children were born despite meager finances are the best contraceptive and visual propaganda for childfree. Someone cannot afford the maintenance of a child, and someone loves their standard of living more than children.

Career. Especially for women. Childcare is still a woman's business: 13 to 47% of mothers do not work because they need to look after children Parents and children, men and women in the family and society.. A woman is generally taken seriously only if she has given birth.

More and more career-oriented women Childfree And Feminine.. But even when applying for a job, HR is interested in when the girl is going to give birth. It's okay. Personally, I was not asked only at one interview - in Lifehacker. All other interviews were held with the obligatory “when on maternity leave?” or “when for the second?”. Those who plan to build a career are increasingly deciding that they will never. Undoubtedly, there are wonderful women who can do everything in the world. And there are those who cannot and choose to work.

No career. Children mean a stable growing income, because as they grow up, expenses increase. A person without children can afford freelancing, odd or small jobs, work for food in a volunteer camp.

Qualities incompatible with children. The cry of a child makes my head hurt. Due to the difficult nature, it is impossible to negotiate. Because of the aggression, it pulls to start a fight. Unresolved do not let you sleep peacefully. The list of reasons “why not to become parents” has dozens of items. As one of my acquaintances said, either children or alcohol, and each one made his choice.

Fear. There are many fears: childbirth, pregnancy, status changes, relationship changes, financial difficulties and hundreds of myths surrounding childbirth. Try asking the women's team a question about how it is to visit a maternity hospital. The stories will be such that Stephen King will seem like a good bedtime story.

Why childfree unite

People without children have formed diverse communities since the 1970s because they have to defend themselves. Public attitudes do not have time to change; for many, “without a child” is still sick and unfit.

Absolutely all my friends are asked about children (girls - many times more often). The question "when will you give birth?" many generally perceive the same as "what time is it?". Tactless, but it's reality.

Actively-minded childfree people are sure that they are oppressed, because they live in a “child-centric” society, where children and their parents are allowed everything and at the expense of the childless, of course. For example, the tax deduction for a child is considered analogous to the unfair tax on childlessness. For such childfrees, association is a way to advance their views and achieve changes in laws.

Why they don't like childfree

People with children are at war with people without children, these battles are verbal and mostly take place on the Internet. In terms of content, they are more like clashes between fans of the iPhone and Android smartphones. It is useless to convince a person who does not want children how great it is to have a "masik". But the war cannot be stopped.

Let's be honest, there is something not to like about childfree.

• For the demonization of children and parents. In communities, they discuss disgusting children, dads and moms. Moreover, it is children who are considered the cause of rudeness. As if a child is a magic wand that turns a normal person into a pig, for which the world revolves around the baby. This is absolutely not true. But many believe that children are peddlers of stupidity.
• For slang: all these "larvae" and "ovulators", among which "adequate children" are allowed to exist, really offend the feelings of anyone.
• For labels: it seems like all children are unfortunate people who can barely make ends meet, regret their decision and suffer from lack of freedom.

Childfree rubbish would not be taken out of the hut, there would be less negative. But it's boring, and wars rage on different resources. That is, they don’t like childfree precisely for what they reproach others for: for trying to get into one’s own business and teach everyone to live right.

How not to talk to childfree

If your friend, relative, colleague or neighbor is not going to have children and you suddenly find out about it, do not try to drag him to another camp. Most of the arguments in the argument are meaningless. Below is a list of forbidden phrases that childfree hear every day.

• Children are happiness. Happy parents will never understand how you can not want children. Happy childfree will not understand why children are needed at all. Happiness is not achieved by the number of children, there are other ways for this.
• Then you'll regret it. Actually, what difference does it make to you who will regret what later? The absence of children is the choice of every person, and wishing him the pangs of repentance is at least impolite.
• But what about procreation? Childfree doesn't care about procreation, that's obvious. And you should not give a damn about someone else's race.
• Give birth - love. And if not? To endure all life or to clean back?
• We will die out like mammoths. Given the overpopulation of the planet - no.
• Children are natural. Naturally, but not necessarily. To agitate for the birth of unloved and unwanted children is a particularly perverted form of fascism and detonation. There are more than 70,000 orphans in Russia, and 180,000 dysfunctional families. There is no need to increase these numbers.
• All childfrees are crazy. Well, that's nice, isn't it? Abnormal genes will not be passed on to subsequent generations.
• And who will bring a glass of water in old age? Social services, carers, friends. Yes, and not the fact that you want to drink.
• God gave a bunny - he will give a lawn; God will punish; God commanded. In a secular state where the constitution guarantees freedom of religion, this is not an argument.
• All childfree are selfish. As if there is something bad in healthy selfishness.

Is it good to be childfree?

Being childfree is okay. This is neither good nor bad, it is an individual decision that concerns personal and intimate life.

It's bad to discuss someone else's personal life and crawl into someone else's bed. This applies to both opponents of childfree, and free from children themselves.

I'm not a childfree, I'm from a different camp. But I understand them. And you?

Anyone more or less familiar with the basics of English can easily translate the word "childfree" - free from children. It sounds, in fact, absurd. Our culture, traditions, mentality do not imply the rejection of procreation. For the vast majority of us, having children is as natural as breathing. But after all, the childfree movement exists all over the world, its supporters have a clear position in life, they are ready to promote and defend their worldview, sometimes very persistently and even aggressively.

Childfree - who are they?

Let's try to figure out who they are, these childfree. Are these people normal, why do they deliberately deprive themselves of the joy of motherhood and fatherhood, is their philosophy dangerous for society?

To begin with, let's make a reservation - those who, for medical reasons, are not able to have children, have nothing to do with childfree.

In addition, there are people who have deliberately chosen childlessness, but do not impose their opinion on anyone, they generally treat other people's children well and do not show any aggression towards dissidents. They are called childless (having no children). Of course, such a division is conditional, but it allows us to better understand the position of each category of the childless.

After all, there is also such a term as childhate (hating children). But this is already a special case, because this is unnatural and sane people are not just alarmed, but shocked. A reasonable question arises - what is going on in your souls and brains, gentlemen childheit?

I also want to know: is it treated or does modern science consider such behavior to be the norm? And I'm also worried about the social aspect of the problem: what if this becomes a trend and more and more people will refuse to give birth to heirs and new members of society.

Where did the childfree movement come from?

It is easy to guess that from the outside, or rather, from American California. There, in the 1970s, an organization of NOT-PARENTS was created to defend the right of everyone not to want to have children (now it no longer exists). And then such a position became a sensation.

Continuing the theme of protecting human rights, the Childfree Network was created in the 1990s. Its ideologue, teacher Leslie Lafayette, defended childless families from state discrimination. And off we go: like-minded people began to actively unite, communicate, publicly argue their position and spread childfree ideas around the world.

There is a version that overseas intervention has left its mark on the decline in the birth rate in our open spaces. It is argued that when the Union collapsed, the plan of US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger to reduce the birth rate in 13 countries - suppliers of natural resources for American consumption, spread to our territories.

The Russian Family Planning Association (RAPS), which was subsequently banned, became the conductor of such ideas. The goal of its activities was the planned decrease in the number of inhabitants until 2050. There should have been no more than 121 million left.

For this, each family could have only one child. Okay, China with its more than a billion people. But in Russia, there are already demographic problems in some regions (the Far East, Siberia). How not to give birth to new residents of the country?

Childfree coming?

But there are many of them who do not want to continue their race. No one will give you exact figures, because population censuses record the number of all childless (forced and voluntary), and sample surveys give only an approximate picture. However, it is known that in the same States there are more than 40 childfree organizations and in each there are several thousand supporters of childlessness.

In addition, the number of women who do not want to have children is growing, there are already 25% of them. Europe is not far behind. Lonely inhabitants of the Old World are now about 40%. And in Munich, childless bachelors make up a good half of the population, and this is a prosperous German city. Of course, not all of them are childfree, but the numbers are impressive.

Our situation is also alarming: the birth rate of 215 children per 100 women is considered a normal demographic indicator, while the real figures are much lower - about 125 babies. The number of abortions is also frightening: 7 per 10 pregnancies. What is happening in the world? Why is the deliberate refusal to have offspring in some countries taking on rampant proportions?

Childfree - why are they like that

Psychologists give different reasons why people profess the childfree philosophy. The legacy of a difficult childhood could play a big role: the child was subjected to physical abuse by parents, moral dictate, was brought up outside the family, in an orphanage or a children's home, a boarding school. Childhood memories are painful for them and there is a desire to prevent the repetition of their history - it's better not to have heirs at all.

Particularly painful consequences are caused by conflicts between a daughter and her mother. Reproaches like - I gave you everything, and you? Why did I give birth to you? No gratitude from you - in the future they may well discourage a matured girl from wanting to be a mother.

Few people decide to work out their problems with a psychologist, and the seeds of childfree adherents fall on fertile ground.

A small part of the ideological childless have another reason - infertility. Here, as it were, a protective mechanism is activated, the justification of medical reasons, so to speak, by “high matters”.

There is such a banal explanation of commitment to the childfree movement as human selfishness. After all, a child is not a toy, it requires attention, constant care, investment of forces (both material and spiritual), responsibility, in the end. And people are not ready to endure certain hardships, even for the sake of children, they want to manage their lives as they please. Cats, hamsters and dogs are dearer to many hearts. Their love is not enough for a child.

Some justify the reluctance to have offspring by a person's desire for choice (as a psychological quality). Children are constant chores and work, and childlessness means freedom of action, self-realization, reduced financial costs, and a calmer nervous system. Choose what is closer to you.

There are also people who do not need children to fill their lives with meaning and happiness. Some women have no need for motherhood. And as paradoxical as it may seem to most of us, this is actually the reality.

To find out the values ​​of modern Russians, a special survey was conducted. The first group included childfree, and the second group included people who have children or want to have them.

	Group I, %	Group II, %
Children	0	29
family, home	40	57
Money	20	14
Work, career	30	14
Health	40	29
Leisure, hobbies, entertainment	70	43
Relationships, sex	20	14
Self-knowledge, self-improvement	90	86
Other	20	14

A person has the right to choose how to live. But! Let's not forget an important thing. You can even respect (if possible) someone's conscious refusal to procreate. Just do not need to prove to anyone that it is correct, you do not need to call on them to follow their example, it is unacceptable to insult those who see the meaning of their lives in children.

But sometimes they write this on childfree forums - it doesn’t fit in my head. Let's not repeat the epithets that aggressive childless reward caring mothers and their babies.

Particularly zealous are childheit - detonatists. They are annoyed by children in society as such - they cry, act up in public places, run around anywhere, get in the way. Moreover, give them places in transport, and the state - allocate funds for all sorts of benefits, payments and benefits. By the way, the latter is already more of a social aspect of the problem.

Are childfree dangerous for society

Childfree preach the idea of ​​a world without children. It seems to such people that society forces them to acquire offspring, imposes family values ​​alien to them. Here they are protesting. And they also demand to expand special childfree zones - restaurants, cinemas, airplanes, hotels without children. By the way, all this exists, so the rights of childfree are unlikely to be infringed.

In fairness, it is worth noting that the reluctance of many to have children is due to quite prosaic reasons. People are afraid of instability, the inability to ensure not only the future, but the present of their offspring. Problems with work, economic turmoil, rising prices, lack of proper government support - these factors cannot be ignored. These are our realities, but let's pay attention to one paradox.

Where do they give birth more - in economically prosperous countries or in underdeveloped ones? The answer is obvious - of course, secondly. There people are often illiterate, but religious. And any faith only supports the desire to continue their race. Even our ancestors in difficult and hungry times said - God gave a child, he will give a child.

And in countries with a high standard of living, people begin to think more about their own self-realization in their careers, hobbies, travel and other leisure activities. What kind of children are there? The role of the mother for most Western women is becoming less of a priority.

Yes, and we have more and more prosperous, quite wealthy couples choose the childfree lifestyle. Although the traditions of our society are still strong, where childlessness is rather an exception to the rule. The birth of children is so natural, even in single-parent families.

In general, we have a negative attitude towards childfree people, calling them empty flowers, terry egoists, they scare them with loneliness in old age and future regrets about the years spent aimlessly. They even call for legal prohibition of childfree Internet forums so that the propaganda contagion does not affect the fragile minds of young people.

But the supporters of the childfree movement will tell you in detail and in detail why it is harmful to acquire offspring - they allegedly get fat and stupid from this, and in general there is no need to become like animals with their reproductive instinct. The planet is already overpopulated, where else to be fruitful. Iron arguments, to be sure.

Convinced childfree will never understand all the beauty of motherhood, tears of tenderness and happiness from the first smile of the baby, his cooing and murmuring, tentative uncertain steps. And how much mom and dad still have to go through with their offspring! But this is not for selfish childfree, to whom imaginary freedom is more precious than the joy of becoming parents.

And if the reluctance to have children in youth is quite understandable (not grown up), then at a fairly mature age, a negative attitude towards children in general can already be safely called a pathology.

Pessimists with a gloomy outlook on life also often join the ranks of childfree. They do not believe that the future will be brighter and more joyful. And since everything is so neglected and will continue to get even worse, then you need to live for yourself, to the fullest, with the maximum of available pleasures. What kind of children are there ... But no matter what the ardent supporters of childfree people say and whatever they propagate, we don’t know what is really going on in their souls. Will they regret their choice?

The principle of tolerance encourages us to respect the opinions of others. Perhaps people who love children shouldn't attack childfree so violently either. Let them live as they see fit. Mutual attacks and senseless disputes in social networks and forums are unlikely to convince anyone. And there is enough negativity in our lives.

I just really want to ask convinced childfree - why did you come into this world? Think about it: why don't you give a little man a chance to be born? What if he grows up to be a genius, although this is not even important. After all, he is your part, flesh from flesh, but he is simply a miracle!

The social phenomenon that has become the subject of this article has been developing in Russia and other CIS countries since the late 90s - early 2000s. It has an ambiguous assessment among people who are little familiar with this philosophy. A largely contradictory and sometimes sharply negative perception is associated, as is often the case, with a lack of information. We are talking about the concept of "childfree". What is it, when and how did it appear, what are its goals and, most importantly, how does it affect the rest of society? In the article we will answer all these questions and debunk myths.

The history of the phenomenon

Childfree (“childfree”) in Russian means “free from children”. This trend originated in the 1970s in the United States in the process of mass protests for rights, freedoms and equality. Thus was created the National Organization of Non-Parents (NON), which was founded by two members of the feminist movement, Ellen Peck and Shirley Rudl. The purpose of the organization's activities was to convey to the conservative society the idea that a woman has the right not to give birth to children if she does not want to.

This statement made a significant change in the public consciousness, because before that it was believed that a conscious refusal to procreate means the presence of ailments of a physical or psychological nature. The bold statement of the two activists gave confidence to other women who felt the same, but did not dare to say it out loud. The HON organization quickly became popular, and in the 1980s it was transformed into the childfree movement. But if in the United States, adherents of a childless lifestyle are often engaged in active social activities and participate in political actions, then in the post-Soviet space this social movement has the character of an interest club.

FAQ

Among people who do not relate to this phenomenon and do not have such acquaintances, there is a lot of misunderstanding and even myths about childfree.

“What is with them? How can you not want to have at least one child?

Here it is necessary to recall that procreation is not an obligation, and the unwillingness to do this does not in any way characterize a person from the negative side. On the contrary, it speaks of honesty with oneself and responsibility for the future. It is worth having children in the case when there really is a desire and an opportunity to raise a little person.

“This is a conscious rejection of motherhood or fatherhood, which means childfree hate children?”

Not at all. In general, the attitude towards the younger generation among such adults ranges from good-naturedly neutral to indifferent. Many voluntarily enjoy spending time with their nephews and nieces, children of friends, etc. Many convinced childfree people successfully realize themselves in the pedagogical field. It is only worth noting that the “free from children” are very intolerant of active attempts to impose a different lifestyle on them.

“Childhait and childfree - what is it? Is it the same or different?"

Confusing these completely different phenomena, people come to the erroneous opinion that voluntary childlessness is the result of a burning hostility towards the younger generation. While "childfree" means "free from children", "childhait" translates as "deton-haters". It is not necessary to know and use Anglicism terms to understand how far these two phenomena are from each other. The first group of people are calm about other people's children, but prefer not to have their own. The second group experiences a persistent negative feeling towards small people, which can manifest itself even in aggression. It is remarkable and at the same time sad that haters of children are not always childless. Cases of psychological or physical violence in the family are often associated with the fact that the parent, for various reasons, manifests himself as a child hater.

Opinions of psychologists

Among experts on the inner life of a person there is no unambiguous opinion about voluntary childlessness. Trying to understand what childfree means as a socio-psychological phenomenon, practicing psychologists identify the following possible reasons for this choice:

1. Negative experiences in your own childhood.

According to this logic, the reason for joining the ranks of childfree is the fear (conscious or implicit) of repeating the parenting model that a person suffered from as a child himself.

2. Selfishness and infantilism.

In this case, voluntary childlessness is chosen by a person about whom it is customary to speak of an “eternal child”. These are characterized by focusing primarily on their own interests, as well as hedonism - the desire to get the most out of life. From which it follows that these people do not feel the strength to show that great responsibility, care, tolerance and dedication that future mothers and fathers need.

3. The desire to reach professional heights.

This group is made up of childfree whose occupation is related to business, art, sports, science and other areas that require great dedication. Under such conditions, a person has neither the time nor the opportunity, nor even just the need to be engaged in the birth and upbringing of offspring. After all, to combine your favorite work and the full-fledged upbringing of children is an almost impossible task, especially in Russian realities.

Now consider the reasons for joining the ranks of the voluntarily childless, based on gender differences.

Childfree women and men

What is there in this social movement that attracts representatives of both sexes?

Studies show that women are usually driven by the desire to realize themselves professionally and devote more time to self-development. Indeed, having a small child in your arms, it is difficult to build a career, and during even a short maternity leave, you can lose your dream job. In addition, raising a child, especially in the first years of life, leaves little time and opportunities for traveling, studying and just reading books.

As for men, they choose the childfree lifestyle, often guided by opposite reasons than women. The main argument for the male is the reluctance to take on the financial burden that inevitably arises at the birth and further upbringing of the child. Childfree men want to have more independence and fewer obligations, as well as the opportunity to sometimes be lazy or travel, without being bound by the need to feed a family.

Voluntarily childless people of both sexes name other arguments: the danger of childbirth for health, the deterioration of relations in marriage and the violation of the intimate life of parents after the birth of a child.

In general, the ideal couple for any childfree is a partner with exactly the same convictions. In this case, it will be possible to build more harmonious relationships, devoid of doubts or mistrust in such an important issue as childbearing.

Free and famous

Of the convinced childless men, the most famous actors are George Clooney and

Communication for childfree

Acquaintances of people who have chosen voluntary childlessness, in our advanced time, take place on various Internet sites. There are corresponding forums, diary communities, groups, publics, etc. On such web resources, you can chat with like-minded people, ask a question, pour out your soul, and also find a mate with a similar worldview.

Forums

A very popular forum is Planet Childfree. Here users share their sore points, discuss life stories, joke on various topics (not only those related to the childfree philosophy), receive and distribute useful information - in general, they feel comfortable. The Childfree Planet forum is, in a sense, an outlet for those people who in everyday life are surrounded not by like-minded people in matters of childbearing, but, on the contrary, by “ideological opponents” who show misunderstanding or tactlessness in communication.

Social media

A very developed and informative childfree community is located in LiveJournal. At one time, it was the first platform in Runet for communication between people who choose voluntary childlessness.

The most popular Russian social network also has public pages and childfree groups. One of the most popular is called "Childfree in Russian". VKontakte brings together users from many cities and countries, making it possible to communicate on current topics in real time. In addition to groups, there are publics of anonymous opinions, for example, "Overheard childfree." Another notable phenomenon is social media communities targeted at married or long-term relationships. Here you can discuss the features of family life without children, as well as ask for advice in cases of misunderstanding with a partner on this issue. In general, a variety of social interaction is what members of the Childfree in Russian group and other similar communities on the Internet do.

Instead of a conclusion

“Free from children” means those who do not feel the need to have offspring and consciously choose childlessness. It is impossible to call the childfree community a subculture, since the group has no special rules or distinctive external features. Yes, and a social movement (at least in the CIS countries) they can be considered a stretch, because they do not put forward slogans and do not try to change the world. In general, we can say that childfree is a way of life that can be understood or not, but definitely worth respecting, if only because these people are honest in their choice and do not impose it on others.

Empty flowers, sick, unbalanced... As soon as they do not name women in our country who voluntarily gave up childbearing and chose life without children! In a traditional society, something that does not fit into social stereotypes and the norm of life of the majority is still hardly accepted. But let's take an impartial look at the "refuseniks" and dispel some myths. Below are the main stereotypes about childfree.

Myth 1. “Childfree is a newfangled Western movement”

In fact, there have always been people who do not want children. Even in ancient Rome, patrician women paid local Aesculapius for a potion that, according to legend, protected against pregnancy. But the economic situation (especially in the villages, where every pair of working hands is worth its weight in gold), the lack of social guarantees for older people, the lack of contraceptives did not encourage a life of pleasure without children. Moreover, childfree people do not like to be called a movement, as they consider the rejection of children to be their inner conviction and one of the key values ​​in their personal system.

Myth 2. “Women want children, but cannot have them, so they hide behind a buzzword”

Childfree are not infertile women. Rather, childfree may be barren, but it is not this that makes women involved in this category, but the unwillingness to acquire offspring. Back in the 1970s, a special word was introduced in America that means “free from children” to distinguish such women from childless (“childless”, unable to have children, but wanting to). Of course, it cannot be ruled out that some of the infertile women use childfree beliefs as a kind of protection from a “compassionate” society.

Myth 3. “Childfree are outcasts”

Studies show that childfree couples are highly educated (most of the respondents have higher education), have a good income and a good career. Most childfree people live in big cities, which are less subject to the power of stereotypes and the traditional way of life. Many childfree people often travel, have pets (hence another stereotype - the "old cat lady") and do charity work. Many consider this to be a compensation for maternal (paternal) instincts.

Myth 4. "Childfree people hate our kids"

To be precise, it is not childfrees who hate children, but the so-called childhaters. It is they who distribute unflattering demotivators online, call for violence and insult the participants of the “mom” forums in every possible way. But due to the fact that in our society it is not customary to understand, it is often childfree who is accused of such behavior. This is not entirely correct, because, as polls show, a fairly large number of childfree people work in medicine, pedagogy and the system of preschool education, without showing aggression towards children. Real childfree, as a rule, either have a positive attitude towards other people's children, or are indifferent, but they certainly will not run after a stroller with threats.

Myth 5. “Most childfree are teenagers who change their mind a hundred times.”

Yes, there are really a lot of very young girls on the net on childfree forums who declare their unwillingness to have children solely out of the spirit of contradiction and youthful maximalism. But this does not mean that all representatives of childfree are like that. Many childfrees who do not need the support of like-minded people are not registered on special forums at all, and you are unlikely to find out that a sweet lonely fifty-year-old neighbor is childless by conviction.

Myth 6. “Childfrees are evil careerists”

Yes, often childfree careerists, simply because they have more time and energy to build a career. But by no means vicious. They are the same as other people: they can be kind, they can be angry, withdrawn or sociable, cheerful or serious. Sometimes childfree behave defiantly aggressively towards uninvited advisers simply because they don’t want to hear their mother’s lamentations for the hundredth time: “When will the grandchildren be?” or beliefs of colleagues: "He will find the one who will give birth."

Dear readers, if your friend, acquaintance, neighbor or just a fellow traveler on the train said that she was a childfree, you should not throw your chest at the embrasure and immediately convince her and “do good”. Perhaps it seems to you that you are doing a good deed and bringing light to the masses, but it may turn out that your moralizing is tolerated only out of politeness. It is enough just to smile and understand that the world is diverse and take it for granted.