Life is surprisingly diverse and rich, unfortunately, not only positive, but also negative events. Everyone wants to remain calm in any situation, but not everyone succeeds.

From the very beginning, the task should be clarified. Do you want to remain calm in any situation? Most likely only in negative(disturbing, angry, annoying, frightening, etc.) situations? It is unlikely, for example, that a girl, having heard a marriage proposal, will think: “No joy! Peace, only peace!" In pleasant and positive situations, on the contrary, you want to be as restless as possible. From happiness, people jump to the ceiling and shout "Hurrah!" publicly.

Perhaps the task is even narrower. Not "Stay calm in any negative situation", but "Learn not to cry" / "Learn not to be offended" / "Learn to control anger" and so on, depending on what specific problem worries.

The more exactly if you manage to determine the task, goal, direction of work on yourself, the better.

You need to understand that reaching a state where absolutely nothing disturbs or worries is tantamount to depriving yourself of all emotions, both good and bad.

A dispassionate person cannot, while maintaining Olympian calm in a stressful situation, immediately become expressive, emotional and sensitive in a positive one. To become completely serene is a super-task, which only Buddhist monks aspire to.

No need strive for absolute calmness in any situation. The calmness that is worth striving for is, in fact, the ability wisely, with understanding and acceptance look at the unpleasant things happening around and the negative emotions that are born in the soul.

Calmness as a skill and character trait

Calmness differs from emotionlessness in that the person who feels it feels an exciting emotion, is aware, but knows how to control it, he is not insensitive, but balanced.

The ability to remain calm in an exciting situation is connected with the ability to control emotions. In many ways, these two skills overlap. To learn how to control your emotions, read the article. There you will also find additional practical advice on how to stay calm.

It is easier for some people, by virtue of their character and temperament, to remain dead, for others it is more difficult. The ability to remain calm also depends on the most exciting situation, its scale, duration, repetition and complexity.

Calmness requires experience, mental strength and wisdom, which is why the older the person, the calmer he is. Calmness itself comes with age, but it can be learned, and at any age.

Learning to be calm means secure yourself in advance from various future stresses and anxieties. Prevention is always better than dealing with the problem that has already arisen. But difficulties are different, therefore, one hundred percent guarantee that having learned calmness, you will be able to cope with any excitement, No.

It is clear that what more often and better be able to remain calm in stressful situations less Situations like this are going to be exciting!

Mastery of any skill is education, involving repetition of actions, training and consolidation of acquired knowledge in practice. Once a habit has been developed, it becomes a habit, and the habit will affect the character. In this way, you can come to peace as character trait.

What kind of knowledge is this, the application of which in practice will help to remain calm in any problem situation?

Three rules of peace

In order not to be nervous and remain calm in an exciting situation, psychologists recommend remembering regulations:

1. Stop signal rule. It is recommended to come up with a certain signal for yourself, which will become a lever for switching to the “calm” mode. It would be nice to remember in what situations it turned out to quickly regain calmness. What kind of situation is this and with what (with what object, action) is it associated?

For many people, the signal to bring themselves into a balanced state is phone ring.

Example. The wife yells at her husband and breaks the dishes, but suddenly her phone rings and no one wants to talk to her, but the boss. Will the woman be able to calm down? In a fraction of a second! Not just calm down, but completely change, become friendly and sweet!

In moments when anxiety overcomes, a sobering and returning bell should “ring” in the head. Any image can be such a signal: a light switch, a light bulb, a knock on the door, an alarm clock, a fan turning on, falling snow - anything that is associated with the need to calm down or calmness.

1. Rule "Don't rush!" Whoever understands life is in no hurry. Haste reduces the quality of the actions performed, and their number does not increase at the same time (it only seems!), but the most important thing is that hasty body movements overstimulate the brain, which is expressed as excitement, fuss, panic, anxiety, aggressiveness.

In order not to feel the rush and excitement in a stressful situation, you need to move, take actions and talk in medium or slow pace. No running and screaming!

It is better to change the habit of speaking loudly and very quickly to a calm and measured speech half a tone quieter. You need to speak in such a way that your own ears enjoy it.

In order not to rush anywhere, you need everything in advance to plan and count. In an extraordinary situation, you need to act quickly, but not hastily, to believe that everything will be in time, and not worry: “I won’t have time!”. Panic never leads to a positive result.

In the end, if it happened to be late somewhere or not to be in time for something, it means that it was necessary and this is for the best; it means that in the subconscious there was a setting “Something unpleasant is waiting there” and in fact, I didn’t really want to appear on time or have time!

Everything will work out! Everything always happens on time!

1. The rule "Analyze, not dramatize!" Too many people, overcome by negative emotion, begin to exacerbate the situation: “This is how it always is!”, “All of you are like that!”, “No one loves me!” - it's all exaggeration.

You won't be able to keep calm if you don't start analysis situation, but start complaining, indignant, objecting, crying, and so on.

Logical analysis switches the brain into “thinking” mode, from emotions to reason. Instead of immediately calling a girlfriend and complaining about fate, it is better to think about the situation alone.

Talking about a problem is good only once, everything else is turning a fly into an elephant.

What happened, happened, it doesn't matter anymore. It's important what to do now how to solve the issue. It’s definitely impossible to solve the problem with excitement and violent emotions, you need to think about how to eliminate the consequences and prevent the recurrence of such a situation.

If you have to worry not because of a particular situation, but because of general situation(in the family, at work, in the country) helps to calm down question“Does this excitement make my life better and happier? Will something change for the better because I'm worried?

It is impossible and unnecessary to control everything and influence everything! Excitement in a situation where nothing can be changed should be replaced by an effort of will with faith in the best and a revision of views on the problem.

Calm Techniques

Without thorough work on oneself, it is difficult to learn how to remain calm in difficult situations, but there are auxiliary techniques and tools that can greatly facilitate the process of self-control and management of emotions.

Helps to calm down:

1. Proper breathing. This is an even, deep, diaphragmatic breathing, when the stomach rises when inhaling through the nose, and retracts when exhaling.

2.Aromatherapy. Scented candles, aroma lamps, oils - there are many ways to soothe your inflamed mind with the smell. A simple example: most people associate the smell of tangerines with a holiday, it will surely help to relax.

1. Reading. While reading, the brain works in a special, soothing frequency mode, a person is distracted from the outside world and plunges into a fantasy world.
2. Music. Everyone has their own special compositions that can soothe and uplift the mood. There are also melodies specially created for relaxation, relaxation, sleep, quiet work (they can be easily found on the Internet).
3. Physical exercise. A great way for those who like to get hung up on thoughts about a problem. When muscles work, a lot of energy is released, including negative energy. All the restlessness that accumulates in the body is released as a result of alternating tension and relaxation of the muscles. It is not necessary to play sports, just cleaning the house is enough to properly strain physically.
4. Water. A shower or bath will help in the morning and evening, and drinking clean water during the day. Water improves metabolism, makes the brain work more actively, and harmonizes the nervous system.
5. hobby. This is a way to compensate for negative experiences with positive ones and get distracted.
6. Comfort. Anything can annoy: tight shoes, hot clothes, an uncomfortable chair, someone screaming, music, unpleasant smells, and so on. People sometimes do not even notice these stimuli or ignore them, and in the meantime, they continue to shatter the nervous system. Maximizing the conditions, you can calm your nerves. If possible, you need to eliminate irritants and add calming elements to your atmosphere and environment.
7. Walks in the open air. Oxygen improves brain function, and moving forward is associated with moving towards success. The ability to go out into the fresh air and walk in the heat of anger has saved more than one friendship, love and working relationship.
8. Dream. Overwork is a common cause of restlessness and nervousness, and sleep is the best medicine in this case.

And finally, if it is possible not to get into an exciting situation, it is better to avoid it, at least during those periods when there is a lack of strength for self-control.

Where do you most often lose your composure?

On the planet - a Buddhist who firmly believes in karma. He never fusses, and when others begin to openly pester him, he simply stocks up on popcorn and prepares to watch an action-packed thriller called “How Life Will Revenge You.” We are not Buddhists and it is difficult for us to achieve this level of composure. But everyone can learn to remain calm.

Mad Rhythm

A person now lives in such a crazy rhythm that only by keeping calm can he make the right decisions. According to the latest statistics, the number of people who are under stress is increasing every year. Study, work, household, financial and family problems - all this negatively affects the nervous system. At some point, a person simply breaks down due to fatigue and accumulated problems.

So how do you learn to stay calm? First you need to understand what it means to be truly calm. Not indifferent and not contemptuous, namely calm.

The ability to remain calm is understood as the ability to be calm in any situation. A calm person never loses patience and optimism, even in those cases when it seems to us (constantly fussing) that it is impossible to control what is happening.

Due to an excess of stress and constant nervousness, a person can even feel physically unwell, so it will be useful for everyone to master the techniques of maintaining calmness.

The problem of control and suppression

Quite often, people are faced with the problem of not understanding the difference between suppression of emotions and control. It's far from the same. Usually, a person begins to suppress emotions after they have taken possession of his body. That is, they are simply not shown, but hidden somewhere in the depths of themselves from the external environment. In this case, negative energy does not go anywhere, but poisons the body, causing various diseases.

Emotional control is something else. A person learns not to fall under the power of stress, to resist it and does not allow even the slightest hesitation to drive himself into a corner. The impact of negative emotions is somewhat like a snowball: you just have to relax for a moment, as they will swallow you up.

Therefore, the ability to remain calm in any situation will be most welcome if you need to improve your life in all aspects. Surely each of us has noticed more than once that if you experience excitement before an important event, then everything starts to literally fall out of your hands, and a person gets annoyed for any reason. This negativity is capable of quickly as a result - it will be extremely difficult for a person to act and make the right decisions.

Therefore, in order to build a successful and happy life, you need to know how to remain calm in any situation. Of course, at first you will have to make efforts to train stress resistance, but then efforts will become a habit.

Express Methods

For those who are caught off guard by stress, express methods that will restore peace of mind will help to keep calm. If you feel that you are starting to get stressed and irritated while doing something, pause and distract yourself with something else. This will help restore balance. Otherwise, the tension will increase, and with it the likelihood of a nervous breakdown will increase.

Also, do not immediately share your experiences with friends or relatives. First you need to understand the situation yourself, analyzing the possible causes of stress. For yourself, you need to note all the manifestations of nervousness that manifest themselves at the level of the body. For example, a person turns red, his fingers begin to tremble, or his heart rate quickens. Noting these features, a person in the future will be able to understand how tense he is, and pull himself together.

Breathing, landscape, acceptance

So how do you stay calm in stressful situations? It is important to be able to concentrate on breathing. When the body is under stress, adrenaline is actively produced, this process disrupts the rhythm of breathing. To fix it again, you need to use breathing techniques. The simplest of them is three deep breaths and exhalations. This exercise can be done both during periods of stress and in a calm environment to relax.

Fresh air helps to restore stress resistance, because oxygen saturation of the brain helps to calm down. It also helps to control emotions by accepting and understanding them. If a person feels tension, he should voice his feelings, articulate and acknowledge negative emotions. For example, say "I'm furious" or "I'm worried."

Suspiciousness, visualization, idol

While stress is in its "embryo" state, it must be taken under control - this is the first rule of stress resistance. How to keep calm? Do not allow the situation to unfold to a large scale. Some people are especially suspicious, it doesn’t cost them anything to inflate a fly to the size of an elephant and suffer from it. Therefore, as soon as you feel tension, you need to immediately determine its source and, if possible, get rid of it.

Visualization will also help restore calmness. For example, you can imagine that you pack the problem and all the negativity in a box and throw it into the sea. True, this technique is suitable only for people with a good imagination.

You can also remember some character or real person who can be called the embodiment of calmness, and try to imagine how he would act in a similar situation.

The first step is to apply an objective analysis of the situation. You need to look at the situation from the side, as if it concerns some other person. By ceasing to be emotionally involved in events, we are able to make sound and intelligent decisions. If emotions are too high, you need to talk to someone about what is happening. It will be easier for an outsider to look at the circumstances calmly and see the right way out.

Food

Oddly enough, a healthy diet helps to train stress resistance and remain calm in any situation. It has long been proven that food affects not only the body, but also the mood. It is a mistake to assume that coffee, a cigarette or large doses of flour and sweets will help to calm down. On the contrary, coffee (like any other drink containing caffeine) will make a person even more irritable. Sugar is a source of glucose, and it, in turn, is responsible for vigor and energy. Therefore, eating large quantities of sweets during a period of stress, a person becomes more excited, impulsive and loses the ability to reason. When stressed, eating dark chocolate and foods rich in vitamin C is beneficial, as they lower cortisol levels. If, with neurosis, a person literally cannot help but eat, he can use chewing gum without sugar.

Work

The third recommendation is not to avoid physical labor. Walking, outdoor activities, etc. will help to “disconnect” from problems. It is not so important what exactly a person will do, the main thing is that he releases the accumulated energy, and does not sit locked up alone with his thoughts.

Physical activity helps the body produce endorphins - hormones of happiness, and they, like nothing else, help to cope with stressful situations.

humor, forgiveness, oblivion

Sometimes a person may encounter a situation in which he will feel guilty and worry about it. To remain calm, you need to realize the full gravity of your mistake and ... forgive yourself for it. There is no person who does not make mistakes, thanks to them we can accumulate life experience. Didn't do it right? Give yourself a chance to fix it. It is worth looking at every situation from the positive side, because everything that is done is for the better.

Increasing stress resistance, or How to stay calm and efficient: advice for everyone

Perhaps someone noticed that confident people with high self-esteem are less worried about trifles. They know they can handle the situation. If a person is satisfied with himself and feels calm, regardless of what is happening around.

To develop self-confidence, the first step is to accept your appearance. A person should like himself for who he is, so he needs to look in the mirror more often and give himself compliments.

Do not forget about your achievements, situations when you managed to successfully cope with difficulties, etc. It is important to find time to do what you love and never lose a good mood. The more positive a person is, the less he is subject to stress. Therefore, it is worth stocking up on a list of life-affirming phrases and repeating them every day.

Even if everything is boiling inside, you need to at least externally express calmness, this will help restore inner balance.

How to keep a person calm in any situation, if excessive emotionality leads to undesirable consequences? Often it is difficult for an individual to cope with anger, hatred, aggression on his own, and he does not know what to do with these feelings. Staying calm in stressful situations will be easier if a person realizes for himself the need to control his own emotions. With "hot" you can say and do things that a person often later often regrets. In addition, if an individual in a critical situation succumbs to anxiety that overcomes him, then his ability to think logically, make rational decisions is lost, and the ability to act correctly sharply weakens.

At the first stage of learning to gain calmness, psychologists recommend learning to remain calm in minor situations when the individual is not yet fully possessed by negative emotions, and then move on to train and learn in more serious and significant disputes or conflicts.

Often people notice behind themselves that it is very difficult to maintain inner peace when every trifle is important in life and therefore circumstances easily unsettle. But if you develop a somewhat philosophical view of things, you can learn to remain calm in any situation.

How to always keep calm? Psychologists advise working on your own. If a person believes in his own strength, then he gains the conviction that he will cope with any situation that can happen in his life. And vice versa, if he doubts himself and sets himself up for an unfavorable outcome of any undertaking, then it is difficult for him to deal with life circumstances and at the same time not be nervous.

Keeping calm in stressful situations will be possible if a person gets rid of the bad habit of dramatizing events that happen to him and forbids himself to wind himself up.

An individual who wants to learn how to remain calm needs to direct his wild fantasy in a more productive direction, and not mentally scroll through unfavorable scenarios in his head, since such an attitude will only add anxiety and worry. If a person feels that he is giving in to panic, then you should stop and think logically, what is the reason for this condition.

Psychologists strongly advise you to monitor your thoughts, because often a person is nervous and worried in situations that do not threaten him with anything. If an individual has such a tendency, then one should imagine the most favorable scenario for the development of events and think in a positive direction. So a person can be sure that nothing threatens his life and safety, and with the rest of the troubles, if they arise, he will be able to cope on his own, because in a truly critical situation, the body's internal reserves mobilize themselves. This is a protective function of the body, so there is no need to be afraid of what has not happened yet, since it is the far-fetched inner anxiety that is an obstacle to peace.

There are various ways to stay calm, and one of them involves thinking of a contingency plan in case of failure. Most likely, it will not be needed, but the realization that there is a way out gives a feeling of calm and confidence. And if failure overtakes, then you should immediately begin to act on the backup version of the strategic plan.

How to remain calm in a conflict situation, which are not uncommon in a person's life. The individual now and then faces rudeness, injustice and irritation of the surrounding people and it is very difficult to remain calm in these cases. Often you want to pay back with the same coin, but it would be better to refrain, so as not to complicate the situation. Responding to the negative, the individual will receive only a new portion of anger and aggression, and his life will be even more filled with disappointment and anger. In the end, everyone will lose from this. Learning to control yourself in such situations is difficult, but it is necessary. For this, no matter how difficult it is, it is important to always be in a good mood.

- you should try not to dramatize life situations, and not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative;

- you need to use in your vocabulary as often as possible the words "I'm stronger than this", "I can handle it", "It's okay"; such verbal formulations will help to look at the existing problem in a different way;

- before sharing a problem with someone, you need to think and not tell it to all your friends; you should digest it yourself in order to calm down; well-meaning friends may show more sympathy than necessary, which can further upset;

- you should mentally visualize your calmness (become a calm and calm person in your imagination);

- you need to determine for yourself those factors that make a person lose self-control and control over himself. Knowing personal stimuli and avoiding them will help a person stay calm throughout the day;

- it is important to learn to control your emotions, for this you should remember the moments when a person could remain calm in a difficult situation;

- you can not respond to attacks in a state of irritation, it is better to remain silent until calmness comes;

- in any situation, always look for something positive;

- having heard criticism addressed to him, a person should find a rational grain in it; if it is difficult, then you need to ignore what they say;

- it is necessary to develop a positive attitude towards people;

- it should be remembered that the negative emotions that have engulfed are harmful, first of all, to the person himself, therefore, if a mistake is made, this should be recognized;

- to calm yourself, you need to listen to audiobooks that tune in to a positive perception of life;

- if there is such a person who can support the individual, then you should talk to him;

- viewing quotes from books can help set a person up for positive behavior;

- troubles in life should be treated as training, the more success an individual achieves in life, the more negative situations he overcomes;

- a person cannot be liked by everyone, no one can do it, so it would be better to let go of relationships with some people in the past. Thus, you can get rid of a heavy burden and communicate more with those who influence a person positively;

- to create an atmosphere of calm, you can use calm music or silence, scented candles;

- a few deep breaths can help the individual relieve tension, excitement and adjust to a calmer rhythm;

- observance of the daily routine, a balanced fortified diet will allow a person to be healthy, and therefore maintain inner peace;

- avoiding excessive consumption of caffeine and sugar, maintaining the necessary water balance, you can maintain a calm state of the body;

- daily physical activity will relieve stress, which will allow you to control your feelings;

- meditation, yoga can help to find peace of mind;

- in order not to think about the same thing, you need to get carried away with something interesting or creative;

— it is important to be able to relax and, if necessary, take a day off to be filled with fresh ideas;

- breathing with the diaphragm - the stomach will help to quickly relieve tension and allow you to calm down in a matter of minutes. While breathing with the belly, the belly rises and falls. It is necessary to inhale through the nose, then hold your breath for a few seconds and exhale slowly.

So, why is it important to learn to remain calm? So that impatience and anger do not exhaust the soul and heart. In order to have time to do more in life, communicate better and live a more purposeful and productive life.

Events happen to everyone that do not fit into the framework of the usual way of life. Current problems and difficult to understand issues are unsettling. Stress undermines physical and emotional health.

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Preserving not only external, but also internal calmness helps to get out of a difficult situation with dignity, correctly assess life lessons and draw conclusions. So that experiences do not have devastating consequences, psychologists recommend using several effective techniques.

A little excitement is good

This conclusion was reached by scientists from the University of California, who are interested in the psychology of behavior. Reasons for these conclusions:

1. 1. Light excitement sharpens the senses and helps to tune in to overcome obstacles. Example: after a detailed preparation for the exam, an increase in adrenaline in the blood helps to mobilize mental forces, the result is a successful delivery.
2. 2. Stressful situations serve as an inoculation against subsequent disappointments. The person draws conclusions and takes action to learn how to avoid a similar story in the future. So, a toothache will make you pay more attention to visits to the dentist and control your health.
3. 3. Timely concern is appropriate. These include cases of injury where an urgent decision needs to be made, or the risk of losing a job, pushing for active professional development.
4. 4. Sincere feelings about relationships. They become a motivating factor in shaping the methods of raising children or communicating with loved ones.

Exciting feelings work as a motive to become reasonable and reserved. But when emotions take over, it is much more difficult not to lose your temper.

How not to worry in responsible situations?

In order to remain calm and confident, it is important to find out what exactly was the cause for concern. This will help you take the right action. Common stressors:

• responsible events - for example, a meeting in a formal setting;
• a date with a loved one;
• deep regret for past blunders;
• fear for the future - family, work, health.

There are many reasons to worry. Keeping calm always and in everything is unlikely to succeed. But it is possible to learn equanimity.

For example, before a date with a girl, a young man reminds himself: the best thing is to be yourself. Skillful pretense in order to become what others want to see is not an option. After a certain time, character flaws will begin to appear, and difficulties will arise in the relationship. What to do in order not to be nervous:

• prepare well;
• come to the meeting on time or a little bit in advance;
• plan the program;
• be prepared for the unexpected.

There are cases when it is inappropriate to show complete composure. A date is one of those situations.

10 tips for those who don't want to lose their temper

Psychologists use special techniques and habitual actions. Applying them every day, a person becomes balanced and inclined to make sober decisions.

There are many ways to deal with negative stress responses. The following are simple and effective.

Fears are not what happened

Most events in the future that cause fear never happen. The imagination can draw terrible pictures of "what if ...". You can not look at everything through rose-colored glasses - life is hard and full of struggle. But do not exist in constant expectation of negativity.

To do this, apply the technique "here and now":

1. 1. Straighten your back, straighten your shoulders. Inhale and exhale deeply several times, using the diaphragm - the muscular septum that separates the lungs from the abdominal cavity. Lower cost-diaphragmatic breathing will give confidence and equanimity. It is clear to feel how the air fills the lungs.
2. 2. Look around you. Pay attention to the surroundings, people passing by. Feel the smells hovering in space.
3. 3. Thank fate for what is already now. Many have far fewer benefits.

listen to the silence

The best time for this is early morning. Birds chirping through the open window, the noise of the city does not distract attention.

Having taken a comfortable position, spend 5-6 minutes in quiet reflection. Pay attention to the feeling of peace that arises inside. At the same time, it is good to recall a pleasant incident from the past - for example, from childhood. What feelings this event evoked, what colors were especially bright.

Having remembered these sensations, they are called up in difficult moments of life, stopping for a few seconds. The same effective technique for many was the arbitrary slowing down of movements and breathing.

Don't judge or complain

A person tends to seek support from others, this is a natural need. Before you call or text your best friend, you should ask yourself a few questions:

• Will it be an objective or personal (subjective) assessment of the situation?
• Will such words benefit friendly communication?
• How does a person feel about whom they speak negatively?
• Will the spoken words change what is happening in a positive way?

Encourage and support others

This principle is similar to the previous one. Positive emotions are multiplied when they are shared with others.

To find a person who is especially difficult, and to support him, to provide all possible assistance - this energizes, gives strength and relieves feelings.

Take the present moment as a starting point

Many existing situations can and should be corrected. To do this, you will have to realize and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. The tendency to blame circumstances is inherent in weak personalities. A person who is faithful in small things has a strong character.

If the situation cannot be changed, change the attitude towards it. Using emerging barriers as beacons, a strong personality does not look for an answer to the question "why?", but analyzes what such conditions can serve for.

Find what helps you relax

For one person, this is listening to music, for another - reading a book or watching a good movie. If there is not much time, a collection of short funny stories will help.

Caring for animals and plants gives a charge of positive emotions. Communicating with the natural world, going for mushrooms or fishing is what many city dwellers lack.

Control diet and daily routine

Attacks of aggression and uncontrollable anger accompany those who do not pay enough attention to their food and rest. Full healthy sleep includes several phases and lasts an average of 8 hours.

When I was a little younger, I had grandiose goals and aspirations, and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind - to be calm and peacefully move from one task to another with concentration and calm, restrained energy.

Everything seems to be simple? Probably no. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it, because it's a fantastic feeling! Anger and impatience wear down our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.

1. Try not to be dramatic

It is very easy to dramatize and make an elephant out of a fly. In any stressful situation, when the problem concerns you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words "always" and "when". You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself "I can handle it", "It's okay" and "I'm stronger than this" can really help you look at the problem in a different way.

2. Think before sharing a problem

Don't talk, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a bit. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. By doing this, they only add fuel to the fire, and you are even more upset.

3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm

Here's what helps me: I try to represent the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull on the ends, the tighter the knot tightens. But when I concentrate fully, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.

It also helps if you visualize yourself acting with restraint and focus. Stop screaming and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become that calm and unflappable person that you see in your imagination.

Here's another technique: Do you know any person who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.

4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy

Are there certain situations that make you lose control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day, to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy - or too quiet? Knowing your personal irritants will help you stay calm throughout the day.

5. Realize that you can control your emotions.

Recall times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly reorganize. Remember that you can repeat this knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.

6. Create a tranquil environment with relaxation rituals

If calm music comforts you, use it. If silence calms you, use it. Maybe you put on soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light scented candles.

When you come home from work, take a few minutes to calm your mind before diving into family matters. Sit in the car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Kick off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.

7. Take care of your basic needs

Make sure that you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I get irritated when my blood sugar is low. However, it is enough to eat something nutritious, and I feel (relatively) lighter.

Also try do physical education. Daily Workouts help relieve physical tension, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of a half-hour run, I do kickboxing. It helps.

Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and do not dehydrate the body. Drink a large glass of water and see if you feel better, more calm and attentive.

8. Pay Attention to the Soul and Spirit

Depending on your religious preferences, take up meditation or pray. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help control your busy mind.

9. Get distracted

Instead of thinking about the same things, do something interesting, exciting, or creative. Try to laugh(or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.

10. Take a day off

If I resist like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure - I need it. If I can get over myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always return there calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.

11. Remember to breathe

When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe with their belly. It still works - for them and for me. Diaphragm breathing helps relieve tension immediately, and it gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. This is often enough time to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.

During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, put your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand goes up as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.

12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind.

“You are heaven. Everything else is just the weather.” Pema Chodron

"A calm, focused mind, not directed to harm others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe" Wayne Dyer (Wayne Dyer).

“It is useless to rush life. If I'm living on the run, then I'm living wrong. My habit of haste will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn how to make time for everything. If I sacrifice my life for haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. It means taking time to think. Slowly you will be in time everywhere " Carlos Petrini (Carlos Petrini) - the founder of the movement "slow food".

“The only important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are those whose children keep talking.” Mary Pipher

“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be in harmony with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda