Conflict (lat. coflictus - clash) in its most general form is defined as an extremely acute contradiction. There are various definitions of conflicts, but they all emphasize the presence of contradiction, which takes the form of disagreements, when it comes to the interaction of people, conflicts can be hidden or obvious, but they are based on a lack of agreement. The lack of agreement is due to the presence of a variety of opinions, views, ideas, interests, points of view.
So, for example, interpersonal (intergroup) conflict can be defined as a situation in which interacting people either pursue incompatible goals, or adhere to incompatible (mutually exclusive) values and norms, or at the same time strive in a fierce competitive struggle to achieve the same goal, which can be achieved by only one of the conflicting parties.
Conflicts can occur in two interrelated forms - conflicting psychological states and open conflicting actions of the parties (at the individual and group levels). The nature of interpersonal (and inter-role) relations sheds light on the internal (social-psychological) mechanism, state and direction of development of the education sector.
Conflict - a form of social interaction between two or more subjects (subjects can be represented by an individual / group / themselves - in the case of an internal conflict), arising from a mismatch of desires, interests, values or perceptions.
We are considering a pedagogical conflict, that is, a conflict, the subjects of which are the participants in the pedagogical process.
Typological division of conflicts:
"genuine" - when the conflict of interests exists objectively, is realized by the participants and does not depend on any sl. easily changing factor;
"random or conditional" - when conflict relations arise due to random, easily changeable circumstances that are not recognized by their participants. Such relationships can be terminated if real alternatives are realized;
"displaced" - when the perceived causes of the conflict are only indirectly related to the objective causes underlying it. Such a conflict may be an expression of conflicting true relationships, but in some symbolic form;
"incorrectly attributed" - when the conflict relationship is attributed to the wrong parties between which the actual conflict is played out. This is done either deliberately with the aim of provoking a clash in the enemy group, thereby "obscuring" the conflict between its true participants, or unintentionally, due to the lack of really true information about the existing conflict;
"hidden" - when conflict relations due to objective reasons should take place, but are not updated;
"false" - a conflict that has no objective basis and arises as a result of false ideas or misunderstandings.
It is necessary to distinguish between the concepts of "conflict" and "conflict situation", the difference between them is very significant.
A conflict situation is such a combination of human interests that creates the basis for a real confrontation between social actors. The main feature is the emergence of the subject of the conflict, but so far the absence of an open active struggle.
That is, in the process of development of a collision, the conflict situation always precedes the conflict, is its basis.
In order to predict a conflict, one must first figure out if there is a problem that arises in cases where there is a contradiction, a mismatch between something and something. Next, the direction of development of the conflict situation is established. Then the composition of the participants in the conflict is determined, where special attention is paid to their motives, value orientations, distinctive features and behaviors. Finally, the content of the incident is analyzed. It is pedagogically important to track the signals indicating the emergence of a conflict.
Prevention of interpersonal conflicts.
In practice, the teacher is more interested not so much in the elimination of the incident as in the analysis of the conflict situation. After all, the incident can be drowned out by “pressure”, while the conflict situation persists, taking a protracted form and negatively affecting the life of the team.
Conflict is viewed today as a very significant phenomenon in pedagogy, which cannot be ignored and which should be given special attention. Neither the team nor the individual can develop without conflict, the presence of conflicts is an indicator of normal development.
Considering conflict as an effective means of educating a person, scientists point out that overcoming conflict situations is possible only on the basis of special psychological and pedagogical knowledge and the corresponding skills. Meanwhile, many teachers negatively assess any conflict as a phenomenon that indicates failures in their educational work. The majority of teachers still have a wary attitude towards the very word “conflict”, in their minds this concept is associated with a deterioration in relationships, a violation of discipline, a phenomenon harmful to the educational process. They seek to avoid conflicts by any means, and in the presence of them they try to extinguish the external manifestation of the latter.
Most scholars believe that conflict is an acute situation that arises as a result of a collision of personal relations with generally accepted norms. Others define conflict as a situation of interaction between people either pursuing goals that are mutually exclusive or unattainable at the same time by both conflicting parties, or seeking to realize in their relationships incompatible values and norms such a contradiction between people, which is characterized by confrontation as a phenomenon that creates a very difficult psychological atmosphere in any team of schoolchildren, especially high school students. as an intractable contradiction associated with acute emotional experiences as a critical situation, that is, a situation of impossibility for the subject to realize the internal necessities of his life (motives, aspirations, values, etc.); as an internal struggle that gives rise to external, objectively given contradictions, as a state that gives rise to dissatisfaction with a whole system of motives, as a contradiction between needs and the possibilities of satisfying them.
It has been established that the contradictions that arise among younger students do not always lead to conflict. It depends on skillful and sensitive pedagogical leadership whether the contradiction grows into a conflict or finds its solution in discussions and disputes. Successful conflict resolution sometimes depends on the position that the teacher takes in relation to it (authoritarian, neutral, avoiding conflicts, expedient intervention in the conflict). Managing the conflict, predicting its development and being able to resolve it is a kind of “safety technique” of pedagogical activity.
There are two approaches to preparing for conflict resolution:
Studying the existing advanced pedagogical experience;
The second is mastering the knowledge of the patterns of development of conflicts and ways to prevent and overcome them; (the path is more time-consuming, but more effective, since it is impossible to give “recipes” for all kinds of conflicts).
V.M. Afonkova argues that the success of pedagogical intervention in student conflicts depends on the position of the teacher. There can be at least four such positions:
Position of neutrality - the teacher tries not to notice and not interfere in the clashes that arise among the pupils;
The position of avoiding conflict - the teacher is convinced that the conflict is an indicator of his failures in educational work with children and arises from ignorance of how to get out of the situation;
The position of appropriate intervention in the conflict - the teacher, relying on a good knowledge of the team of pupils, relevant knowledge and skills, analyzes the causes of the conflict, decides either to suppress it or to allow it to develop to a certain limit.
The actions of the teacher in the fourth position allow you to control and manage the conflict.
However, the teacher quite often lacks the culture and technique of interaction with pupils, which leads to mutual alienation. A person with a high communication technique is characterized by the desire not only to correctly resolve the conflict, but also to understand its causes. To resolve conflicts among younger students, the method of persuasion is very appropriate as a way of reconciling the parties. It helps to show younger students the inappropriateness of some of the forms they use to resolve the conflict (fights, naming, intimidation, etc.). At the same time, teachers, using this method, make a typical mistake, focusing only on the logic of their evidence, not taking into account the views and opinions of the youngest student. Neither logic nor emotionality achieve their goal if the teacher ignores the views and experience of the pupil.
1.2 Types of conflicts.
Conflicts are divided into the following types:
Socio-pedagogical - they manifest themselves both in relations between groups and with individuals. At the heart of this group are conflicts - violations in the field of relationships. The reasons for the relationship may be as follows: psychological incompatibility, i.e. unconscious, unmotivated rejection of a person by a person, causing unpleasant emotional states in one of the parties or at the same time in each of them. The reasons may be the struggle for leadership, for influence, for a prestigious position, for the attention, support of others;
Psychological and pedagogical conflicts - they are based on contradictions that arise in the educational process in the conditions of a lack of harmonization of the relations that develop in it;
Social conflict - situational conflicts from case to case;
psychological conflict - occurs outside of communication with people, occurs within the personality.
Allocate conflicts according to the degree of their reaction to what is happening:
Fast-flowing conflicts are characterized by great emotional coloring, extreme manifestations of the negative attitude of the conflicting ones. Sometimes such conflicts end in difficult and tragic outcomes. Such conflicts are most often based on character traits, mental health of the individual;
Acute long-term conflicts arise in cases where the contradictions are quite stable, deep, and difficult to reconcile. The conflicting parties control their reactions and actions. Resolving such conflicts is not easy;
Weakly expressed sluggish conflicts are typical for contradictions that are not very acute, or for clashes in which only one of the parties is active; the second seeks to make its position clear or avoids, as far as possible, open confrontation. The resolution of such conflicts is difficult, much depends on the initiator of the conflict.
Weakly expressed fast-flowing conflicts are the most favorable form of conflict, but it is easy to predict a conflict only if it was the only one. If after that there are similar conflicts outwardly flowing gently, then the prognosis may be unfavorable.
Conflict situations in elementary school.
There are conflict pedagogical situations by time: permanent and temporary (discrete, disposable); according to the content of joint activities: educational, organizational, labor, interpersonal, etc.; in the field of psychological flow: in business and informal communication. Business conflicts arise on the basis of a discrepancy between the opinions and actions of team members when they solve problems of a business nature, and the second - on the basis of contradictions in personal interests. Personal conflicts may relate to people's perception and assessment of each other, real or apparent injustice in assessing their actions, work results, etc. .
In conflict situations, their participants resort to various forms of defensive behavior:
Aggression (manifested in conflicts along the “vertical”, i.e. between the student and the teacher, between the teacher and the school administration, etc.; it can be directed at other people and at oneself, often takes the form of self-humiliation, self-accusation);
Projection (causes are attributed to everyone around, their shortcomings are seen in all people, this allows you to cope with excessive internal stress);
Fantasy (what cannot be accomplished in reality begins to be achieved in dreams; the achievement of the desired goal occurs in the imagination);
Regression (there is a substitution of the goal; the level of claims decreases; while the motives of behavior remain the same);
Change of purpose (psychological stress is directed to other areas of activity);
Avoiding an unpleasant situation (a person unconsciously avoids situations in which he failed or could not carry out the implementation of the intended tasks).
There are a number of stages in the dynamics of conflict development:
The presumptive stage is associated with the emergence of conditions under which a conflict of interest may arise. These conditions include: a) a long-term conflict-free state of a collective or group, when everyone considers themselves free, does not bear any responsibility to others, sooner or later there is a desire to look for the guilty; everyone considers himself the right side, offended unfairly, then it creates a conflict; conflict-free development is fraught with conflicts; b) constant overwork caused by overload, which leads to stress, nervousness, excitability, inadequate reaction to the most simple and harmless things; c) information-sensory hunger, lack of vital information, prolonged absence of bright, strong impressions; at the heart of all this lies the emotional oversaturation of everyday life. The lack of necessary information on a wide social scale provokes the appearance of rumors, speculation, gives rise to anxiety (teenagers have a passion for rock music, like drugs); d) different abilities, opportunities, living conditions - all this leads to envy of a successful, capable person. The main thing is that in any class, team, group no one should feel left out, “a second-class person”; e) style of organizing life and managing a team.
The stage of the origin of the conflict is the clash of interests of various groups or individuals. It is possible in three main forms: a) a fundamental clash, when the satisfaction of some can definitely be realized only at the expense of infringing the interests of others; b) a clash of interests that affects only the form of relations between people, but does not seriously affect their material, spiritual and other needs; c) there is an idea of a clash of interests, but this is an imaginary, apparent clash that does not affect the interests of people, members of the team.
The stage of maturation of the conflict - a clash of interests becomes inevitable. At this stage, the psychological attitude of the participants in the developing conflict is formed, i.e. an unconscious readiness to act in one way or another in order to remove the sources of an uncomfortable state. The state of psychological stress encourages an “attack” or “retreat” from the source of unpleasant experiences. Surrounding people can guess about the brewing conflict faster than its participants, they have more independent observations, more free from subjective judgments. The psychological atmosphere of the collective, group can also testify to the maturation of the conflict.
The stage of awareness of the conflict - the conflicting parties begin to realize, and not just feel the clash of interests. A number of options are possible here: a) both participants come to the conclusion that conflicting relations are inappropriate and are ready to give up mutual claims; b) one of the participants understands the inevitability of the conflict and, having weighed all the circumstances, is ready to give in; the other participant goes for further aggravation; considers the compliance of the other side as a weakness; c) both participants come to the conclusion that the contradictions are irreconcilable and begin to mobilize forces to resolve the conflict in their favor.
Based on the foregoing, we can conclude that for a long time there were no common views on the nature and causes of conflicts; the very fact of the existence of contradictions and conflicts was not recognized; the very existence of conflicts was perceived as a negative phenomenon that interfered with the normal functioning of the pedagogical system and caused its structural disturbances.
2.1 Stages of conflict resolution
In any variant of the development of the conflict, the task of the teacher is to turn the opposition of the parties into interaction, the destructive conflict into a constructive one.
To do this, you need to perform a series of sequential operations:
1. To achieve an adequate perception of each other by opponents.
Conflict people (especially children) are usually unfriendly to the opponent. Emotional arousal prevents them from adequately assessing the situation and the real attitude of the opponent towards them personally. By controlling their emotions, the teacher needs to reduce the emotional tension in relations with the student, parent, colleague. To do this, you can use the following methods:
Do not respond with aggression to aggression;
Do not insult or humiliate the opponent with a word, gesture, or look;
Give the opponent an opportunity to speak, listen carefully to his claims;
Try to express your understanding and complicity in connection with the opponent's difficulties;
Do not draw hasty conclusions, do not give hasty advice - the situation is always much more complicated than it seems at first glance;
Invite the opponent to discuss the problems that have arisen in a calm atmosphere. If circumstances allow, then ask for time to better consider the information received. A pause will also help relieve emotional stress.
In communication between a teacher and students, not only the content of speech is of great importance, but also facial expressions, tone, intonation of speech, and if, according to experts, intonation can carry up to 40% of information when communicating with adults, then when communicating with a child, the impact of intonation increases. The child surprisingly accurately recognizes the attitude of adults towards him by intonation, he has "emotional hearing", deciphers not only the content, the meaning of the words spoken, but also the attitude of adults towards him.
When perceiving words, he first reacts to intonation with a response action and only then assimilates the meaning of what was said. In intonation, those experiences are manifested that accompany the speech of adults addressed to the child, and he reacts to them. The teacher's shouting and monotonous speech lose their influencing power because the student's sensory inputs are either clogged (by shouting) or he does not catch the emotional accompaniment at all, and this generates indifference, no matter how clearly and correctly the words and phrases are pronounced. Such speech does not cause feelings for the student, and the teacher loses a really reliable "bridge" to the consciousness of the student through his experiences.
The teacher also needs to be able to listen to the student and hear him. The effectiveness of the teacher's speech largely depends on his ability to listen, "tune in to the wave" of the student. This is not so easy to do for a number of reasons: firstly, it is difficult to expect a smooth and coherent speech from a student, which is why adults often interrupt him, which makes it even more difficult to say (“Okay, everything is clear, go!”), although he and did not say the main thing for him. Secondly, teachers often have no time to listen to the student when he needs to talk, and when the teacher needs to know something, the student has already lost interest in the conversation, and besides, he is not interested in talking to someone who does not hear him.
If, as a result of the above actions, you managed to convince your opponent that you are not his enemy and are ready for equal cooperation, then you can proceed to the next stage of conflict resolution.
2. Dialogue.
It can be seen as both an end and a means.
At the first stage, dialogue is a way of establishing communications between opponents. At the second stage - a means for discussing controversial issues and finding mutually acceptable ways to resolve the conflict.
We are all used to monologues, especially in the pedagogical process. Everyone strives to express his own, painful, but at the same time, as a rule, he does not hear the other. In dialogue, the main thing is not only to speak and listen, but also to hear and be heard.
What to say? How to say? When talking with children, the teacher needs to clearly know what to say (selection of content in the dialogue), how to say (emotional accompaniment of the conversation), when to say in order to achieve the goal of the speech addressed to the child (time and place), with whom to say and why to say ( confidence in the result).
As work with teachers has shown, many of them find it difficult to conduct a dialogue with students of different ages. The dialogue between the teacher and students is often conducted at the command-administrative level and contains a set of stereotyped expressions, reproaches, threats, and dissatisfaction with the student's behavior. This communication continues throughout many years of schooling, and by the senior school age, many of the students develop a reciprocal style of communication with teachers.
With different teachers, this style has a different character:
Educational and business character: “She (the teacher) says - I listen”, “She asks - I answer what she expects from me, - and everything is in order with me. And what I live and what I think about - this is of little interest to adults, have you really not understood this? After all, everyone wants to live in peace!”;
Indifferent-indifferent. “She says - I listen and do it in my own way, she will still forget what they were talking about, only she needs to catch her eye less often”;
Free-personal: “Talk about everything “for life” - not many teachers see the point in them” (from conversations with students).
Rapprochement of the positions of the teacher and the student, mutual understanding will be helped by some techniques that are not all used by teachers. Let's take a look at some of them.
Try to call the student by his first name even when you are angry with him. This will give an appeal to him affectionately demanding character, unite the student.
During the dialogue, it is important to adhere to some rules:
Observe tact, correctness in relation to the opponent. It should be a conversation between equals;
Do not interrupt unnecessarily, first happen, and then speak;
Do not impose your point of view, seek the truth together;
Defending your positions, do not be categorical, know how to doubt yourself;
In your arguments, rely on facts, and not on rumors and other people's opinions;
Try to ask the right questions, they are the main key in the search for truth;
Do not give ready-made "recipes" for solving the problem, try to build a logic of reasoning so that the opponent finds the necessary solutions himself.
During the dialogue, the opponents clarify the relationship, position, intentions, goals of each other. They become more informed and better represent the current conflict situation. And if it was possible to identify and identify specific sources and causes of the dispute, then we can proceed to the final stage of conflict resolution.
3. Interaction.
In fact, this stage includes both perception, and dialogue and other types of joint activities of communication. But here, interaction is understood as the joint activity of all opponents aimed at resolving the conflict.
So, the adequacy of the perception of the conflict, the readiness for a comprehensive discussion of problems, the creation of an atmosphere of mutual trust and joint activities to resolve existing problems contribute to the transformation of a destructive conflict into a constructive one, and yesterday's opponents into employees. In addition, a successfully resolved conflict contributes to the improvement of the psychological climate in the team, the growth of mutual understanding. The experience gained in the course of conflict resolution can be successfully used in other conflict situations.
Conflicts can not only be prevented, resolved, but also predicted. This requires analysis and understanding of the main components of the conflict:
Problems;
conflict situation;
participants in the conflict;
An incident that provokes a conflict.
Forecasting makes it possible to prevent the negative development of a conflict situation and turn it into a positive one. A good command of conflict management and resolution technologies enables the teacher to create directed conflicts. For example, a teacher can provoke a conflict in the study group about academic performance or discipline. Involving his wards in resolving a conflict situation, he activates their activities and achieves the desired results.
Consider some of the means of influence used by teachers in resolving conflicts.
1. "Return of emotions."
An important means of preventing and successfully resolving conflicts can be the “return of emotions” technique.
Awareness of one's professional position, knowledge of the motives of the student's act help the teacher to get out of the captivity of his own emotions (which is not so easy and simple) and respond to the child's experiences.
The teacher, together with the students, “lives through” each age period of the formation of their personality, empathizes with their failures, rejoices at their successes, upsets for disruptions in behavior and work, generously forgives - all this does not reduce the authority of the teacher in the eyes of the students, but emotionally brings their positions closer, generates empathy and mutual understanding, helps to get rid of stereotypes in relations with students. Without this, pedagogical cooperation is unthinkable, when the teacher can see the good in the "inveterate" student, express hope for his correction.
2. Punishment.
When resolving conflicts, teachers consider punishment one of the main means of influence. They believe that this will achieve non-repetition of the act, that this will frighten the student. However, let us recall from our national history that it is possible to build on fear. The whole question is what trace of experiences remains in the soul of a child after his punishment: repentance, anger, shame, fear, resentment, guilt, aggression?
A. S. Makarenko wrote: “No matter how severely the pupil was punished, the imposed punishment should always resolve the conflict to the end, without any residue. Within an hour after the imposition of a penalty, you need to be in a normal relationship with the pupil.
Punishment should resolve and destroy a separate conflict and not create new conflicts, since it will be more difficult to resolve them - after all, conflicts become protracted, long, wide.
One of the methods of punishment, often used in recent times, is calling the parents and reproaching them for all the misconduct of the student.
3. Invitation of the "third".
To resolve the conflict, when the relationship between the teacher and the student takes on the character of confrontation, sometimes a "third" is invited. When choosing a "third" one should take into account that he should be able to get involved in resolving the situation not out of official duty. He must have both a sincere desire to help the student and a deep understanding of the causes of the conflict.
This "third" can be both parents and one of the teachers or peers. The main thing is that the “third” should be a significant person for the conflicting student. Often, the director of the school or someone from the administration is forced to join in resolving the conflict.
Of course, such an algorithm is exemplary in nature - after all, each conflict is unique and requires its own means of resolution. But, despite this, the teacher must unquestioningly abide by the rules that are given in this paragraph. How well the conflict is resolved depends on the authority of the teacher in the eyes of the students, and the change in the attitude of the student with whom there was a conflict with the people around him.
Conflict in elementary school and ways to solve it.
It is known that school life is not conflict-free. Students are late, talk in class, cheat, suggest, get distracted, quarrel among themselves, which leads to clashes. But, despite the fact that conflict situations in the educational process are a familiar, ordinary phenomenon, it is impossible to get used to it. The lack of purposeful work on the formation of the experience of relationships in the context of conflict situations in elementary school can adversely affect the attitude to learning, the nature of interpersonal interactions, and the psychological microclimate of the team in the future.
According to the study, the specificity of the emergence, development and resolution of interpersonal conflicts in elementary school is directly dependent on the following factors:
1. Age features of a younger student.
2. The specifics of the organization of the educational process in elementary school.
3. The attitude of younger students to the conflict, which includes: understanding the term conflict, the causes of conflicts, actions in case of conflicts.
In this regard, the following age features:
1.
Transformation of the social situation of development
(transition from a carefree childhood to the position of a student), a change in the child's habitual lifestyle, daily routine.
2. The beginning of the formation of relations
with the classroom team, with teachers, the need to take into account the opinions of other participants-subjects of the educational process.
3.
Significant physical changes in the body
, which leads to an excess of physical energy.
4.
Mental imbalance
, instability in a strong-willed attitude, variability of moods, excessive impressionability due to physiological changes in the body.
5.
Instability of attention of a younger student
, because, firstly, excitation prevails over inhibition in him and, secondly, a natural desire for mobility is manifested, as a result of which he cannot engage in the same type of activity for a long time, as fatigue quickly sets in, prohibitive inhibition.
6.
The predominance of the absorbent nature of knowledge, rather than memorization
, the desire of children for research activities due to susceptibility and impressionability, comparison and analysis of the phenomena around them, the expression of their personal attitude to a particular situation.
7.
Emergence of new needs and responsibilities:
obey the teacher's requirements, do homework, acquire new knowledge and skills, get a good grade and praise from the teacher, communicate with students and the teacher, which often leads to conflicts with the child's abilities and interests.
8.
Trusting submission to authority
, but at the same time, the formation of his own I in the world around him, the formation of self-esteem, the need for protection from adults.
9.
fragility, short duration of emotional experiences,
unless, of course, deep shocks take place.
10.
Lack of everyday experience of constructive behavior in the event of
conflict situation
, the predominance of the style of behavior on an intuitive level.
11. Dominance of play activity , as one of the means of forming the skills and abilities of the child with the increasing role of educational activity.
In preparation for the teachers' council in grade 4, a class hour was held on the topic "Conflict and ways to resolve it." Conflicts often poison a person's life, break the usual rhythm, reduce self-esteem. The purpose of this event is to form the conflict competence of students and the ability of tolerant behavior, as well as to show possible ways out of conflict situations, to consider the concepts of "conflict", "compromise", the causes of the conflict, as well as the main models of behavior in conflict situations.
A pre-survey of students was conducted. Survey results:
What is conflict? The students answered that the conflict is a misunderstanding of each other, a quarrel, an argument, a fight.
Is it possible to live without conflict? Most fourth-graders believe that it is impossible to live without conflicts, because sometimes you have to be able to defend yourself.
What is the most common cause of conflict for you? Quarrel, argument, misunderstanding of each other, fight for one thing, envy, bad mood, disagreement between people, people's behavior, inability to communicate.
Have you ever been in a conflict situation? 90% of the respondents answered yes, 10% - no.
With whom did conflicts arise? With friends, parents, neighbors, classmate, classmates.
Ways to resolve conflicts - run away, apologize, peacefully agree with others, talk, find a common solution, make a concession.
During the lesson, almost every student, one way or another, showed himself. Children were asked to find a way out of conflict situations. During the game “I am different from other people in that I ...” the children talked about how to avoid conflicts and that you need to be more tolerant of the shortcomings of others. This also contributed analysis of a fragment of the fairy tale by G.Kh. Andersen "The Ugly Duckling"(bird yard scene).
Why didn't they like the ugly duckling?
The ugly duckling was not loved because he was not like the others, because he was different! He was rejected by everyone. This sometimes happens in life, when a person or a child becomes an outcast, because they do not understand him, do not accept his views, or simply believe that he is not like everyone else, or has a different nationality than most of the people around at that moment. You need to be more tolerant of each other, kinder! We are different, but we are all equal!
During games “Burning river and boats” the students used such productive methods of solving conflict situations as cooperation, compromise.
Game “Burning river and boats”
2 teams of 4 people. Each team is given 2 album sheets - boats. The whole team needs to get to the other side. If there is no one on the boat, then it burns down, because. burning river. Try to solve this problem without bringing the matter to a conflict. The essence of the game is that two teams unite and move to the other side at the same time towards each other.
The problem of conflicts has long been relevant, many have tried to solve it. Even in the works of oral folk art there are fairy tales, legends, epics on this topic. Let's listen to the Russian folk tale "Two Goats".
Two goats.
There lived two goats. One goat was white and the other was black. And before that they were stubborn, well, they never yielded to each other in anything. Once these stubborn goats met on a narrow bridge thrown over a stream. It was impossible for two people to cross the stream at once.
“Make way for me,” said the white goat.
- Here's another, what an important master, - the black goat answered.
- Five back, I was the first to climb the bridge.
- No, I won't. I am much older than you in years and I still have to yield to you?
- Never! cried the white goat.
Here both goats, without thinking twice, collided with their horns and, resting their thin legs, began to fight. And the bridge was wet. Both stubborn slipped and flew straight into the water. With great difficulty, the goats got out of the water and decided not to quarrel anymore, because grief cannot be avoided without friendship. There is no joy without friendship.
Can the case with goats be called a conflict situation? What would you do if you were the goats? The children concluded that concession is one of the ways out of the conflict.
In conclusion, 12 rules were proposed, the observance of which allows you to persuade people to your point of view - Carnegie rules.
1. The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the opinion of the owner. Never tell a person that he is wrong.
3. If you're wrong, admit it.
4. Maintain a friendly tone from the start.
5. Make the interlocutor immediately answer you "yes".
6. Let your interlocutor do most of the talking.
7. Let the interlocutor believe that this thought belongs to him.
8. Sincerely try to look at things from the point of view of your interlocutor.
9. Be sympathetic to the thoughts and desires of others.
10. Appeal to nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Challenge, touch a nerve.
Thus, we can say that such events are needed and should be carried out already in elementary school. After all, it is there that the foundations of relationships are laid and a cool team is formed.
I would like to end my speech with the words:
A person who does not do a very good deed runs the risk of being alone and causing condemnation of others. And vice versa, there are actions that elevate people in the eyes of others. In both, being faced with a choice, before doing something, think about the consequences. And may the decision be correct.
It's no secret that a protracted conflict with classmates can "poison" a child's stay at school for a long time. Therefore, teachers and parents should never let the current situation take its course. Today we invite you to consider the most common causes of conflicts at school, as well as the best options for their elimination.
Very often at schoolchildren there are difficulties associated with the aggravation of interpersonal relations: on their part, constant complaints are heard that their parents do not understand and do not hear them, and classmates tease, shout or come up with offensive nicknames. Experts assure that this problem is mainly connected with the child's adaptation to new conditions (especially for first-graders), as well as with his attempts to establish himself and express himself in a new team.
It's no secret that a protracted conflict with classmates can "poison" a child's stay at school for a long time. Therefore, teachers and parents should never let the current situation take its course. Today we offer you to consider the most common causes of conflicts at school as well as the best options for their elimination.
The main causes of conflicts
Conflict between younger students never arises planned. Most often, the disputes of elementary school students can hardly even be called conflicts. It's more of a showdown with each other. Children, without realizing it, enter into an argument with the only desire - to win.
How painlessly they will pass, largely depends on the teacher. The main thing here is the good-natured attitude of the teacher to the children. An experienced teacher can easily turn any conflict into a joke. Not bad in such situations are "mirilki" - phrases like "peace between you, a bowl of pies" ... Usually this causes laughter, which covers children's anger. After the children shake hands with each other, they immediately begin to act in a completely different way. It is most effective to reconcile children in the game. We can say that each of the children is a winner. After all, he managed to look his opponent in the eye and extend his hand to him.
Most often boys are in conflict because they have a subconscious desire to win. Such disputes can be resolved by competitions: whoever sits down more times, does push-ups or says more words on a given topic, he won.
Often there are conflicts between boys and girls. They are also called conflicts of sympathy. Explicit intervention in the confrontation between a boy and a girl (for example, a categorical ban on communication between the warring parties) can only aggravate the situation, since in the process of conflict, children go through a very important stage of gender identification. Much more effective are unobtrusive conversations, during which the boys are explained the vulnerability and impressionability of girls, and the girls - the consequences of a familiar relationship with boys (especially if the pride of a little man was hurt in the presence of his peers).
Note that it is especially painful conflicts between children perceived by young mothers whose children first went to school. Very often parents get involved in children's conflicts. But in any case, you don't need to do this. After all, the children will reconcile immediately, and the parents will keep the anger for a very long time.
Never scold your child in front of others
Quite often, parents begin to raise a child in the presence of others, thinking that he will be ashamed, and he will understand his mistake. Dear parents, don't ever do this. Children, especially small ones, do not feel empathy. It develops gradually, with a sense of parental empathy. Therefore, if a child refuses to comply with an instruction or request, this does not mean that he is indifferent. It's just that the child doesn't understand why he has to do it. And if the parents try to make the child feel guilty by scolding him in front of his peers, this will only provoke resentment of the student, but in no way will he be ashamed of what has been done.
Scolding someone else's child without his parents is strictly prohibited. Children should not be allowed to be humiliated by the parents of classmates. When deciding conflict situations at school it is very important that the parents of both children are present. Parents need to explain to their children that there should be no enmity, they will have to study in the same class for a long time, have breakfast at the same table and sit at the same desk.
Rules of conduct during a conflict with a child
- Let the child speak. If he is aggressive or irritable, then it is most often impossible to negotiate with him, so try to help him relieve tension. During such an "explosion" it is best to behave calmly and confidently, but try not to overdo it with calmness, which the child may take for indifference.
- Neutralize aggression in unexpected ways. For example, ask a question about something that is not about the conflict.
- Ask to describe the desired end result, don't let your emotions control you.
- There is no need to respond with aggression for aggression.
- Use the phrase "do I understand you correctly?", which demonstrates attention to the child and reduces aggression.
- Nothing needs to be proven, because it is in a conflict - a waste of time. Negative emotions block the ability to understand and agree, especially in children.
Solve no more than one problem at a time
Sooner or later in every family conflicts arise associated with schooling (bad grades, fighting with a classmate, bad behavior in class, etc.). Of course, they can upset, but they should not be destructive. Therefore, you need to follow a few rules to go through the conflict smoothly and without stress for the child.
First of all, what young parents should remember is that only one problem can be solved at a time with a child. Preferably the most important one. It's bad when parents gather all the problems together. It confuses and confuses the child. For example, if a student got an A in class and lied to you, ask first why he lied. Come back to two later.
Methods for solving the problem must be creative so that the child becomes interested and shows a desire to cooperate. It is important to understand that to find such conflict resolution For everyone to be satisfied, it is possible only if parents and children begin to cooperate fruitfully. At the same time, one should not forget about politeness, because any child deserves a respectful attitude towards himself.
Therefore, if you want your child to learn to control his emotions, understand himself and others better, always respect his feelings and do not go too far. The best option is a flexible and respectful upbringing based on study, not submission. This is the only way to establish a truly close contact with your student.
Games for removing children's aggression
Scream bag game
If the teacher sees that the children are too active during the break, or are in conflict with each other, he can invite them to shout into a special bag: the students take turns approaching the teacher and shouting into the bag (each in his own). After the lessons they can take their "shout" back. This game helps to restore strength and get rid of negative emotions.
Game "Calls"
The goal of this game is removal of verbal aggression, as well as its manifestation in an acceptable form.
Children sit in a circle and pass the ball, calling each other harmless words. To do this, you first need to discuss what "name names" you can use - the names of objects, vegetables, fruits. The main condition of the game - you can not be offended. It sounds something like this: "You, Masha, a cactus", "You, Misha, a bulldozer", etc. The game must be played at a fast pace.
The game "Stone in the Shoe"
The purpose of the game is to learn to recognize your emotions and the feelings of others.
The teacher asks the children: "Have you ever had a stone in your shoes?" Then he asks: “Did you often not shake out the stone when you came home, and in the morning, putting on your shoes, you felt it? Have you noticed that in this case, yesterday’s small stone in the shoe turned into a big problem?”. Children speak out about their experiences. Then the teacher continues: “When we get angry, it is perceived as a stone in the shoe. If we immediately take it out, the foot will not be hurt. But if we leave the stone in the same place, problems arise. Therefore, it is useful to talk about our problem stones as soon as they have been noticed." Then the teacher offers to tell the children "I have a stone in my shoe" and talk about what worries them. And everyone can offer a classmate a way to get rid of the "stone".
Conflicts at school are an integral part of the educational process. In itself, the conflict between peers is not something out of the ordinary. Such a conflict contains the possibility of personal growth, since the need to learn to defend one's position in front of classmates increases, to have one's own point of view on any issue. Often conflicts at school are episodic, that is, they break out from time to time between all students. A child, once in a children's team, must learn to live according to its laws. It is not always immediately possible to do this painlessly and easily. What are school conflicts, is it worth trying to avoid them?
Causes of conflicts at school
Like any phenomenon, conflicts among classmates have their own reasons. Most often, conflicts arise between students of the same class and are based on a mismatch of characters, a clash of different opinions on a particular issue. Most conflicts occur during adolescence. The age of thirteen - sixteen years is characterized by increased impressionability, suspiciousness and anxiety. One careless word can provoke the development of a conflict. Young people and girls at this age do not yet have sufficient tolerance and tolerance towards others. They see everything in black and white and give their own assessment to any phenomenon. The resolution of such conflicts in some cases requires the participation of parents in the life of the child. What are the main causes of conflicts among schoolchildren?
The struggle for authority
The most common reason for the development of conflict is the struggle for the opportunity to be the main among peers. A child with leadership qualities of character will strive to demonstrate his strength to others. Boys, most often, prove their superiority with the help of physical strength, and girls learn to manipulate gracefully. In any case, there is a struggle for authority. A teenager is trying with all his might to be heard and thereby satisfy his deep need for recognition. This process cannot be called fast and calm. Sometimes years pass before yesterday's child understands which methods are acceptable and which are better to refuse.
Insults and insults
Another reason for acute conflict with peers is multiple grievances and misunderstandings. The situation when the weak and defenseless are offended in the class is, unfortunately, not uncommon today. The conflict, formed by the need to defend one's individuality, leads to the formation of personality traits such as distrust and isolation. School bullying is harmful not only to the one who is constantly bullied, but also to other students. Adolescents see a picture of impartial aggressive actions, behind which there is often complete impunity.
Grievances and insults among students of the same class necessarily lead to a pronounced conflict. Whatever the reason for the bright disagreement, it requires mandatory resolution. Children do not know how to hide their feelings, they want to understand the current situation immediately. At the same time, discipline and the general atmosphere in the team suffer. Teachers complain that students become uncontrollable and aggressive.
Unrequited sympathy
An important cause of conflict in the classroom is the first love. During puberty, adolescents begin to be interested in peers of the opposite sex. There is a kind of strong leap in development. A boy or girl simply cannot continue to live in the old way. They begin to look for additional opportunities to please, to impress. Unrequited feelings can lead to a dramatic outcome: apathy, inner emptiness and unwillingness to reveal to anyone the depth of their experiences. I must say that at this age, unrequited sympathy is very common. Moreover, there is a fair opinion that once in a life every person experienced for himself what it means to be rejected by the object of his adoration.
During the first courtship, many teenagers become nervous and irritable. This happens for the reason that they still have little experience in building trusting relationships. At the same time, every young person over the age of fifteen needs close relationships, wants to achieve maximum understanding and be heard by others. The discrepancy between one's own feelings and reality leads to open conflicts that require immediate resolution.
Types of conflicts at school
Conflicts at school have their own specifics and are distinguished by the different involvement of an adult in this process. The severity can be strong or quite weak. A hidden conflict often remains invisible to others, since its participants do not move to active actions for a long time. Examples of conflicts show how important it is to act at the first sign of trouble and the appearance of psychological discomfort in a child. Allocate the following types of conflicts in the school.
Conflict between students
This type of conflict is characterized by the formation of persistent rejection of some persons by others. The warring parties create unbearable conditions for each other, participate in various conspiracies. The participants in the conflict are children and adolescents. The unwritten rule of such conflicts is their duration, aggressiveness, cruelty towards their opponents. Children not only do not try to understand each other, but also deliberately exacerbate hostility with manifestations of a contemptuous attitude, demonstrative disrespect.
Example: there is a physically weak boy in the class, over whom everyone makes fun and mocks. Other students constantly provoke him into an open quarrel. The conflict escalates over time, but is not resolved in any way, because the young man does not want to respond with cruelty to the attacks of his classmates. Those guys who take his side are also persecuted by the leader and his group.
Teacher and pupil
A fairly common type of conflict is misunderstanding between the teacher and students. How often do students feel that they are unfairly given poor grades and little effort is made to improve the situation! Neither the rejection of teachers, nor the condemnation of classmates works. Sometimes a child, for some reason, is so immersed in himself and his own world that he ceases to notice the events taking place around him. The conflict from this only drags on, which does not contribute to its resolution. Meanwhile, the child is not always to blame for the teacher-student model. The teacher is in any case older and wiser than any teenager, so he should try to eliminate the conflict, or at least reduce it to a minimum. I must say that teachers are also not always attentive to students. Bad mood, domestic problems, own ailments - all this leaves a serious imprint on the personality. Many teachers suffer from the fact that they hang negative labels on the child and treat him with prejudice from the first mistake, without giving him the opportunity to correct it.
Example: a girl, a student of the sixth grade, does not have time in the subject of English. The teacher gives her unsatisfactory marks. The child, in desperation, tries to correct the situation, but she does not succeed - she launched the subject too much due to a long illness. The teacher does not want to go into these details, believing that the student should fill the gap on her own.
Teacher and student's parents
Often the conflict occurs between the parents of one of the students and the teacher himself. Parents accuse the teacher of prejudice against their child. In this situation, everyone suffers, especially the child. The teacher develops a negative opinion about a particular student, and he involuntarily bypasses him with his attention in his work. The child gets used to the fact that he is deprived of the praise of the teacher and in the future does not try to correct the situation. Parents are completely disappointed in the education system.
Example: the parents of a second-grade student, for any reason, arrange a “showdown” with the teacher, asking where the child has a four, why not five? The conflict grows: the child develops a reluctance to learn, because in front of his eyes, the parents behave incorrectly with the teacher. The teacher begins to seek help from the head teacher and principal.
Conflict resolution at school
Any conflict needs to be resolved. Otherwise, the tension builds up, and the problems only increase. How can school disagreements be minimized? In a dispute, everyone is sure of their own rightness. Meanwhile, if you try to understand your opponent, you can significantly reduce the effect of the conflict itself. All you have to do is put yourself in the opponent's shoes. Teachers should try to imagine how a child feels when he started school material (albeit through his own fault), and no one wants to understand him. Parents are constantly scolded for poor academic performance. How can a child independently find a way out of this situation if he is deprived of all support in advance?
The resolution of conflicts in the school should begin with the acceptance of responsibility for one's actions and actions. The student must be aware that he has responsibilities that must be fulfilled. Teachers should strive to see positive qualities of character in children, try to establish contact with each individual child, and present the material being studied in an intelligible and exciting way.
Thus, the topic of school conflicts is not new at all. Everyone has encountered it at least once in their life. The well-being of the child, the formation of his worldview depends on how quickly and correctly it is possible to resolve a significant disagreement between the participants in the contradiction.
The specificity of the emergence, development and resolution of interpersonal conflicts in primary school is directly dependent on the following factors:
Age features of the younger student;
The specifics of the organization of the educational process in elementary school;
The attitude of younger students to the conflict, which includes: understanding the term conflict, the causes of conflicts, actions in case of conflicts.
In this regard, the primary task of the ascertaining stage of the experimental work was the analysis of psychological and pedagogical literature and practice in order to identify the age characteristics of the younger student that influence the emergence, development and resolution of pedagogical conflicts. Thus, the following age features were identified:
Transformation of the social situation of development (transition from a carefree childhood to the position of a student), a change in the child's habitual lifestyle, daily routine;
The beginning of the formation of relations with the classroom team, with teachers, the need to reckon with the opinions of other participants-subjects of the educational process;
Significant physical changes in the body, which leads to an excess of physical energy;
Violation of mental balance, instability in a strong-willed attitude, volatility of moods, excessive impressionability due to physiological changes in the body;
Instability of attention of a younger student, because, firstly, excitation prevails over inhibition, and, secondly, a natural desire for mobility is manifested, as a result of which he cannot engage in the same type of activity for a long time, as fatigue sets in quickly , extreme braking;
The predominance of the absorbing nature of knowledge, rather than memorization, the desire of children for research activities due to susceptibility and impressionability, comparison and analysis of the phenomena around them, the expression of their personal attitude to a particular situation;
The emergence of new needs and responsibilities: to obey the requirements of the teacher, do homework, acquire new knowledge, skills, receive a good grade and praise from the teacher, communicate with students and the teacher, which often leads to conflicts with the child's abilities and interests;
Fragility, short duration of emotional experiences, unless, of course, deep shocks take place;
The lack of everyday experience of constructive behavior in the event of a conflict situation, the predominance of the style of behavior on an intuitive level;
The predominance of play activity as one of the means of forming the child's skills and abilities with the increasing role of educational activity.
Let us consider the main ways of resolving and preventing conflicts that exist in the theoretical and practical literature. This is necessary in order, firstly, to identify the features that the teacher needs to know and take into account when resolving and preventing conflict, and, secondly, to determine how the existing ways of resolving and preventing conflicts can be used by elementary school teachers in order to form experience of correct interactions between students.
In this regard, we highlight three aspects:
Conflict/conflict management;
Direct ways to resolve the conflict;
Prevention of conflicts.
So, according to the formula of V.I. Andreeva, conflict is a problem + conflict situation + participants in the conflict + incident. Therefore, in order to resolve the conflict, it is necessary to make changes in the conflict situation. A conflict situation, as you know, cannot turn into a conflict without an incident, therefore, by changing the situation preceding the conflict, we can prevent the conflict.
Thus, if a conflict is a consequence of a certain conflict situation, then first of all it is necessary to conduct a correct diagnosis of the conflict situation, that is, if possible, determine the presence of a problem and potential participants in a possible conflict, their positions and the type of relationship between them.
According to A. Bodalev, there are five main aspects of the diagnosis:
1) the origins of the conflict, that is, the subjective or objective experiences of the parties, the ways of "struggle", the events within the conflict, the contradiction of opinions or confrontation;
2) the biography of the conflict, that is, its history and the background against which it progressed;
3) parties to the conflict, whether individuals or groups;
4) position and relations of the parties, formal and informal; their interdependencies, their roles, personal relationships, and the like;
5) the initial attitude to the conflict - whether the parties want to resolve the conflict themselves, what are their hopes, expectations, conditions.
Therefore, the teacher in a conflict situation needs to identify its main structural elements, to objectively assess the conflict situation that has arisen, in order to find the correct constructive resolution of the conflict situation in the event of a conflict, including possible ways to prevent or extinguish the conflict, and, therefore, to establish such relationships in the environment, that will contribute to the implementation of educational goals and objectives. In order to purposefully make changes in a conflict situation, it is necessary to know the basics of managing such a situation. Under the management of a conflict situation, we mean measures aimed at preventing an incident, and, therefore, do not contribute to the transition of a conflict situation into a conflict itself. There are no universal methods of "correct" management of a conflict situation, since the parties achieve opposite goals. But conflict researchers offer a general scheme of actions aimed at making the conflict more rational and preventing the transition of a conflict situation into a conflict. This scheme includes: incident prevention, conflict suppression, conflict delay, conflict resolution. Thus, when eliminating a conflict situation, a conflict that has not yet arisen can be considered resolved. According to A.G. Pochebut and V.A. Chiker, conflict management involves the ability to maintain its value below the level at which it becomes threatening to the organization. Skillfully managing the conflict, you can resolve it, that is, eliminate the problem that caused this conflict. Management theory suggests two approaches to conflict management. (Attachment 1).
Another domestic researcher T.S. Sulimova identifies the following main models for managing the development of a conflict: ignoring, competition, compromise, concessions, cooperation. (Appendix 2).
Thus, the analysis of the literature showed that there are no universal methods of "correct" management of a conflict situation and conflict. Therefore, most conflict researchers propose actions that can turn conflict from destructive to constructive. The general scheme looks like this:
Actions aimed at preventing the incident;
Actions related to conflict suppression;
Delayed actions;
Actions leading to conflict resolution.
Thus, conflict resolution is the final stage in the development of a conflict. Domestic and foreign experts offer ways to resolve conflicts depending on different approaches to the study of their essence. Researcher of social conflicts T.S. Sulimova points out that conflicts that arise between individuals in a group are resolved mainly by two methods: the method of coercion and the method of persuasion. The first method involves the implementation of violent actions of one subject over another. The second method is focused primarily on the search for compromises, mutually beneficial solutions. Its main means is the convincing argumentation of their proposals, as well as knowledge and consideration of the aspirations of the other side. It is the search for opportunities and ways to reach a compromise that is one of the fundamental when using this method.
In addition, the emergence and resolution of the conflict is closely interconnected with the attitude of the conflicting parties to each other and their attitude to the subject of the conflict, with the moral position of the opponents. That is, if a conflict occurred between two subjects of the educational process, who had previously been in friendly or neutral relations, then the parties will do everything possible to quickly get out of this conflict, to resolve it constructively. And, conversely, if such a situation arose between the warring parties, then the conflict will take a protracted form and will be aggravated by the parties.
Conflict resolution is defined as the process of finding a mutually acceptable solution to a problem that is of personal importance to the participants in the conflict and, on this basis, harmonizing their relationship. Based on this, the following stages and ways of resolving conflict situations can be noted:
1) identify the actual participants in the conflict situation;
2) to study, as far as possible, their motives, goals, abilities, character traits;
3) to study the interpersonal relations of the participants in the conflict that existed before the conflict situation;
4) determine the true cause of the conflict;
5) study the intentions, ideas of the conflicting parties about ways to resolve the conflict;
6) to identify the attitude towards the conflict of persons not participating in the conflict situation, but interested in its positive resolution;
7) identify and apply ways to resolve the conflict situation, which:
a) would be adequate to the nature of its causes;
b) would take into account the characteristics of the persons involved in the conflict;
c) would be constructive;
d) correspond to the goals of improving interpersonal relations and would contribute to the development of the team.
An important condition for the successful constructive resolution of the conflict is the observance of such conditions as: objectivity when considering, the ability to reflect in a conflict, focusing on the subject of the conflict and on interests, and not on positions and personal characteristics, avoiding premature conclusions, mutually positive assessment of opponents, possession partner communication style. Conflict researchers have also identified a number of criteria that will help the teacher judge the constructiveness or destructiveness of conflict resolution. Conflict behavior is associated primarily with personal and situational prerequisites. Personal prerequisites on the part of students are: inability to objectively assess the situation, poorly developed logical thinking, a tendency to ambition, high self-esteem, intemperance, irascibility, and others; on the part of teachers: the rigidity of pedagogical thinking, authoritarianism, inability to establish pedagogical communication, low culture, lack of pedagogical tact, and others. Here it is necessary to emphasize that the leadership style of the teacher - democratic, liberal, authoritarian - is also, in my opinion, a personal prerequisite on the part of the teacher and has a significant impact on the behavior of teachers in conflict and the specifics of their resolution of conflict situations that have arisen.
Thus, the analysis of theory and practice shows that the behavior of an individual in a conflict has a decisive influence on the outcome of the conflict. Based on the position that the conflict in pedagogical activity is easier to prevent than to resolve, and also to reduce the number of destructive interpersonal conflicts, to form constructive experience of behavior in the event of an interpersonal conflict, along with the methods of managing and resolving conflict situations, the teacher must also know the methods for preventing such situations at school. Prevention of interpersonal conflict is a system of measures aimed at preventing a conflict situation that can lead to the emergence of interpersonal conflicts.
