This Agreement is concluded between IE Smygin Konstantin Igorevich, hereinafter referred to as the "Service Administration" and any person who becomes a user when registering on the Service website http://website/ (hereinafter referred to as the Service), hereinafter referred to as the "User", together in the text of the Agreement referred to as the "Parties" and individually as a "Party".

1. General Provisions

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1.3. This Agreement, concluded by accepting this offer, does not require bilateral signing and is valid in electronic form.

1.4. The use of materials and functions of the Service is governed by the norms of the current legislation of the Russian Federation.

2. Subject of the Agreement

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3. Terms of use of the Service

3.1. To start working with the Service, the User must go through the registration procedure by assigning a unique name (Login) and password. Upon completion of the registration process, the User becomes the owner of the account. From the moment of logging into his account, the User is solely responsible for the security of the entered data, as well as the Login and password.

3.2. Upon completion of work with the Service, the User independently completes work under his account by clicking the "Logout" button.

3.3. From the moment of registration in the Service, the User is assigned a personal account, to which the User has the right to deposit a sum of money. The amount of money on a personal account is used to pay for a subscription for a certain calendar period (6 months, 12 months and 24 months) for paid services of the Service. Payment for paid services is carried out by non-cash transfer of funds in the form of a 100% prepayment and is debited from the User's personal account.

3.4. Free services are provided to the User without any guarantees, in the same quality, volume and with the functionality that these services have as part of the Service. This means that the User is not entitled to make claims regarding the availability, volume, quality or functionality of the received free services and uses them, assuming all risks and liability associated with the use of such free services.

3.5. Paid services are considered rendered properly and accepted by the User in full, if within 5 (Five) working days of the provision of the corresponding paid service, the Service Administration has not received motivated written claims from the User.

3.6. The Administration of the Service provides technical support to the User, including on issues related to the functionality of the Service and the services provided, as well as the features of the operation of the Service.

4. Rights and obligations of the parties

4.1. Rights and obligations of the User

4.1.1. The User undertakes not to take actions that may be considered as violating Russian law or international law, including in the field of intellectual property, copyright and / or related rights, as well as any actions that lead or may lead to a violation of the normal operation of the Service.

4.1.2. The User undertakes not to grant (transfer) in full or in part to third parties the rights he has received under this Agreement, not to sell, not to replicate, not to copy the materials of the Service in whole or in part, not to alienate in any other way, including free of charge, without receiving a preliminary written consent of the Service Administration.

4.1.3. The User undertakes not to transfer passwords and logins used to access the Service to third parties, to ensure the confidentiality of their storage. In case of unauthorized access to the login and password and / or user account, the User is obliged to immediately notify the Administration of the Service.

4.1.4. The User undertakes not to use software that provides automatic downloading and processing (parsing) of the Web pages of the Service in order to obtain the necessary data.

4.1.5. The User is responsible for the content and accuracy of the data provided during registration on the Service. The User agrees to the storage and processing by the Service Administration of the User's personal data.

4.1.6. The User has the right to access the Service at any time, except during maintenance work.

4.1.7. The User has the right to use the Service within its functionality and on the terms established by this Agreement.

4.1.8. The User has the right to deposit a sum of money equal to the amount of the subscription for a particular calendar period for the subsequent use of the Paid Services of the Service. The User can familiarize himself with the tariffs for the Paid Services of the Service at: http://website/subscription/

4.1.9. The User has the right to independently change the password without notifying the Administration of the Service.

4.1.10. The User has the right to apply at any time to delete the User's account and information stored in the Service. The deletion of the User's account and information stored on the Service is carried out within 7 days from the date of receipt of the application. When deleting an account, the funds that the user spent on a subscription to the Paid Services of the Service are not subject to partial or full refund.

4.1.11. Funds transferred as payment for a subscription to the Service's services are non-refundable and can be used to pay for the paid services of the Service.

4.2. Rights and obligations of the Service Administration

4.2.1. The Service Administration is obliged to provide the User with access to the Service no later than 5 (Five) business days from the moment the User completes the registration procedure on the Service.

4.2.2. The Service Administration undertakes to ensure the operation of the Service, in accordance with the terms of this Agreement, around the clock 7 (seven) days a week, including weekends and holidays, except for the time of preventive maintenance.

4.2.3. The Administration of the Service undertakes to ensure the safety of the User's data posted in the Service for 90 (ninety) calendar days from the date of the last use by the User of any of the paid services of the Service.

4.2.4. The Service Administration undertakes not to transfer the User's personal data to third parties.

4.2.5 The Administration of the Service has the right to suspend the operation of the Service to carry out the necessary scheduled preventive and repair work on the technical resources of the Administration of the Service, as well as unscheduled work in emergency situations, notifying the User about this, if technically it is possible, by posting the relevant information on the site.

4.2.6. The Administration of the Service has the right to interrupt the operation of the Service if this is due to the impossibility of using information and transport channels that are not the own resources of the Administration of the Service, or by the action and / or inaction of third parties, if this directly affects the operation of the Service, including in an emergency.

4.2.7. The Service Administration has the right to update the content, functionality and user interface of the Service at any time at its sole discretion.

4.2.8. The Service Administration has the right to change the cost of paid services unilaterally.

4.2.9. The Service Administration has the right to block and / or delete the User's account, including all the User's information content without notifying the User and explaining the reasons in case the User violates the terms of this Agreement.

5. Responsibility of the parties and the procedure for resolving disputes

5.1. The Service is provided to the User "as is" in accordance with the principle generally accepted in international practice. This means that for problems arising in the process of updating, maintaining and operating the Service (including compatibility problems with other software products, as well as inconsistencies between the results of using the Service and the User's expectations, etc.), the Service Administration is not responsible.

5.2. For violation of obligations under the Agreement, the Parties shall be liable in accordance with the current legislation of the Russian Federation. At the same time, the responsibility of the Administration of the Service to the User in the event of a claim for damages is limited to the amount of the cost of the Paid Services paid by the User.

5.3. None of the Parties shall be liable for the full or partial failure to fulfill any of its obligations, if the failure is the result of force majeure circumstances that arose after the conclusion of the Agreement and are independent of the will of the Parties. In the event of force majeure circumstances for more than 3 (Three) months, either Party has the right to unilaterally refuse to fulfill its obligations under this Agreement (terminate the Agreement).

5.4. Since the Service is an intellectual property of the Service Administration, liability for copyright infringement arises in accordance with the current legislation of the Russian Federation.

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5.6. In the event of disputes or disagreements arising between the Parties arising from this Agreement or related to it, the Parties will take all measures to resolve them through negotiations between themselves.

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6. Other terms

6.1. This Agreement shall enter into force from the date of acceptance and shall be valid until the Parties fulfill their obligations in full.

6.2. This Agreement may be terminated early by mutual agreement of the Parties, as well as at the initiative of the Administration of the Service in case of violation by the User of the terms of this Agreement without returning any funds to the latter.

6.3. Since this Agreement is an offer, and by virtue of the current civil legislation of the Russian Federation, the Service Administration has the right to withdraw the offer in accordance with Art. 436 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. In the event of withdrawal of this Agreement during the term of its validity, this Agreement shall be deemed terminated from the moment of withdrawal. Feedback is carried out by posting relevant information on the site.

6.4. The Parties have agreed that in the performance of this Agreement, it is allowed to use the signatures of the representatives of the Parties, as well as their seals by means of facsimile communication, mechanical or other copying, digital signature or other analogue of the handwritten signature of the heads and seals of organizations.

6.5. The Service Administration has the right to unilaterally amend the terms of the Service by posting information about it on the website in public access and amending this Agreement.

6.6. The specified changes in the terms of this Agreement come into force from the date of their publication, unless otherwise specified in the relevant publication. Continued use of the Service by the User after making changes and / or additions to the Agreement means the acceptance and consent of the User with such changes and / or additions.

7. Guarantees

7.1. With the exception of the guarantees expressly specified in the text of this agreement, the Service Administration does not provide any other guarantees.

7.2. By agreeing to the terms and accepting the terms of this offer by accepting it, the User assures the Service Administration and guarantees that he:

• concludes this agreement voluntarily;
• read all the terms of this agreement;
• fully understands and confirms the subject of the offer and the contract;
• has all the rights and powers necessary for the conclusion and execution of this agreement.

How to overcome low self-esteem: advice from Philip Zimbardo

Philip Zimbardo is an American social psychologist and author of the famous Stanford Prison Experiment. Professor at Stanford University.

Zimbardo suggested methods to help overcome low self-esteem and build a sense of self-confidence.

Try to complete all the suggested steps. Each will help you get closer to achieving a positive self-image.

The 15 steps below will help you organize your efforts.

Admit your strengths and weaknesses to yourself, and articulate your goals accordingly.

Decide what is valuable to you, what you believe in, how you would like to see your life. Analyze your plans and evaluate them from the point of view of today, so that you can take advantage of this when progress is made.

Get to the roots. After analyzing your past, figure out what led you to the current situation. Try to understand and forgive those who made you suffer and did not help, although they could. Forgive yourself, past mistakes, delusions and sins. Once you've made some use out of the bad memories, bury them and don't go back to them. The bad past lives in your memory only until you cast it out. Make room for memories of past successes, albeit small ones.

Feelings of guilt and shame will not help you succeed. Don't let yourself be indulged in them.

Look for the reasons for your behavior both in the physical, social, economic and political aspects of the current situation, and in the features of your own personality.

Do not forget that each event can be evaluated differently. Reality is not something that everyone individually sees, it is nothing more than the result of an agreement between people to call things by certain names. Such a view allows you to be more tolerant and more generous to people and to yourself.

Never talk badly about yourself, especially avoid attributing negative traits to yourself - stupid, ugly, incapable, unlucky, incorrigible, etc., etc.

Your actions may be subject to any criticism, as long as it is constructive - use this to your advantage, but do not let others evaluate you as a person.

Remember that another defeat is luck. From it you can conclude that you pursued false goals that were not worth the effort, and possible subsequent larger troubles were avoided.

Don't put up with people, activities, and circumstances that make you feel inadequate. If you can't change them or yourself enough to feel confident, it's best to just move away from them. Life is too short to waste it on gloom.

Allow yourself to relax, listen to your thoughts, do what you like alone with yourself. This way you can understand yourself better.

Practice in communication, enjoy the feeling of the energy that people exchange - so different and peculiar, your brothers and sisters. Imagine that they, too, may experience fear and insecurity, and try to help them. Decide what you want from them and what you can give them, and then let them know that you are open to such an exchange.

Stop overprotecting your "I" - it is much stronger and more plastic than it seems to us. It bends but doesn't break. Let it experience a short-term emotional blow rather than remain inactive and isolated.

Choose for yourself several serious, distant goals, on the way to which, it is necessary to achieve the goals of smaller, intermediate ones. Soberly consider what means are necessary in order to achieve these intermediate goals. Do not ignore every successful step you take, and do not forget to cheer and praise yourself. Do not be afraid to be immodest, because no one will hear you.

You are not a passive object on which trouble falls, not a blade of grass that waits in trepidation to be stepped on. You are the top of the evolutionary pyramid. You are the image and likeness of the Lord. You are a unique person, an active creator of your life. You control events. If you are self-confident, then obstacles become a challenge for you, and a challenge encourages you to achieve. And fear will recede, because instead of worrying about how you live, you plunge into the very thick of life.

Many articles, magazines, books on psychology have been written on how to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. But still, many novice entrepreneurs (and not only) are concerned about this issue. Therefore, at the request of our website readers, we decided to write this detailed article about self-esteem without water and in fact. So let's go!

The old misconceptions that in order to be happy you need to:

• believe and obey your parents;
• dance around the fire and worship the gods;
• build communism;
• and so on and in the same spirit (underline as appropriate).

With the development of psychological science, only one thing becomes obvious - only man himself can make himself happy except, of course, for force majeure.

So, from this article you will learn:

1. What is self-esteem and what functions does it have, etc.;
2. How to love yourself and increase your self-esteem - advice from psychologists and experts;
3. How to become self-confident and satisfied with your life;
4. Reasons for low self-esteem, tests, videos, etc.

The article tells how to increase self-esteem, what ways to raise it exist, why people have low self-esteem, etc.

The correctness of self-assessment is a rather complicated thing. This is the one ship's waterline on the high seas, which should not nor rise above, nor go below. Before embarking on a long voyage, it is necessary to understand that nothing will come of it without adequate self-esteem. How does this happen?

The human subconscious builds itself based on many factors. from the first minutes of life.

In order to understand the mechanism of self-esteem formation, it is necessary to understand that:

• one is never alone- he is a herd animal and must be in society (sociopaths are a deviation, a disease);
• every word and deed of others in relation to the individual automatically influences it, forcing one way or another to evaluate oneself;
• for the most part people and builds an opinion about himself, perceiving himself "through the eyes of others", not having the opportunity and desire to analyze their actions on their own and give them a final assessment.

As a result, it turns out that self-esteem – This combined information about all self-assessments of your personality or on the basis of another opinion, which forms your idea of ​​\u200b\u200btheir qualities and shortcomings.

This can also be stated in another way: self-esteem – this is the definition of one's place in the ranking of all people in the world, which is based on one's own and imposed priorities. It looks different for every person.

For example, a blonde who has not read the primer in her life may have high self-esteem, since her society tells her only positive information about her personality, her virtues coincide with those that are in use among her environment and she looks like from her society demands it. That is, it is surrounded on all sides positive and a small share negative she just doesn't notice/ignores.

On the other side maybe yesterday's student engineer, who graduated from the university with an average, got a job and, out of fright, already made a couple of minor mistakes, which were treated quite loyally.

It will seem to him that, compared with more experienced colleagues, he is a nonentity, he will never succeed. Here, mom also says that he is a mediocre son, because he forgot to take out the trash in the morning, dad assures that instead of higher education, he just had to go to the mine, because there “normal money is paid, and you don’t need to think with a stupid head.” To all this is added the standard appearance and the dream of the girls from the TV.

All this a typical example of low self-esteem that is shaped by the environment. The young man himself has nothing to do with it - rather, he simply moves with the flow that forms his environment.

Without changing anything in his life, he is unlikely to achieve anything in it.

If you do not pull yourself together, he will face such problems:

• failures at work due to constant nervous tension and self-flagellation from the series “I won’t succeed, others will do it better”;
• no growth in career ladder due to fear of responsibility, thoughts similar to “I can’t do it, it’s not for me, I’m not capable of it”;
• constant fear of losing a job, a feeling of fatigue, depression, possibly alcoholism, the desire to escape reality into an illusory comfortable world;
• the impossibility of adequate relationships with girls, since stiffness and complexes will manifest themselves here too, there will be thoughts from the series “she is too beautiful, I don’t earn so much, I’m ugly, I don’t deserve her.”

This is not a complete list of those trouble and life problems that are born from poor self-esteem, the inability to work with it.

At an older age, it may be problems with raising children, communicating with them. There may also be significant troubles with self-realization, the desire to open your own business and all in the same spirit.

The young man mentioned is just an example, everyone has a reason to think badly about themselves - no one is perfect. It is important to adequately assess your personality as a whole and build connections with the outside world from this.

It must also be understood that it is not only money and career.

A person with low self-esteem cannot initially be happy for the following reasons:

• constant fear;
• persistent nervous tension;
• periodic depression;
• aggravated stress when exposed to adverse factors;
• impossibility of self-realization;
• constant stiffness, up to physical movements;
• lack of self-righteousness;
• compliance with the outside world, weakness of character;
• inability to start something new;
• closed, shy speech;
• constant self-digging.

All these are signs that you do not have happy future, because no one will come and change your life by magic.

In order to look confidently into the future, you need to work on yourself and not be afraid to change. Without this, everything will remain in place, and dreams will turn into collapse.

Basic functions of self-assessment

Exist three main functions that make adequate self-assessment so necessary:

• Protective - solid self-esteem will allow you to be confident in what you think and do, it ensures the stability of your opinion about yourself, and hence an even emotional background, less exposure to stress;
• Regulatory - helps to make the most correct and timely choice regarding your personality;
• Developing - the correct assessment of one's personality gives a strong impetus to its development.

The situation in which a person absolutely independently evaluates his qualities and capabilities and adequately understands what he is good at and what is bad is considered ideal. From this he plans his life - what he will do, what he will study, and so on. Of course, such impossible .

From early childhood to late old age, everything around is trying to influence us, our self-esteem. At the very beginning, we are characterized parents, after peers and friends, then add to this teachers and professors, colleagues, chiefs etc.

As a result, we do not even evaluate ourselves, but compare the opinion of others about ourselves with the ideals imposed by society. Where can we get to adequate self-esteem, some of the information received does not apply to reality at all!

But only by correctly evaluating your abilities, you can understand in which direction you need to develop and what you are like in general.

In this situation, bad any deviation. An inflated opinion of yourself will lead to many painful mistakes in life, although it is more rare. Much more common low self-esteem which destroys people's lives, does not allow to open up, to show the maximum of their capabilities. The neglected form of this problem leads to an inferiority complex, and hence the destruction of the personality.

Essentially, this one of the main reasons that a person cannot earn money. Not confident in himself, he rushes from corner to corner, afraid to take a step that is risky in his opinion or the thoughts of those around him, eventually despairs and continues to live from one meager salary to another.

Moreover, in such cases, one cannot open one’s own business, because the qualities necessary for this are: activity, readiness to risk and accept decisions are taken from true, adequate self-esteem.

Lack of self-confidence takes the energy of the individual, fetters his actions, which leads to a terrible state when a person is only able to think or dream about action, and not resolutely take up the realization of his desires.

2. How to love yourself and what will happen if this is not done 💋

love yourself does not mean become narcissistic. In fact, it has to do with self-esteem. Only the person who is able to evaluate himself, highlight all his advantages and disadvantages, can really honestly and fairly treat his personality.

How to learn to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman and a man

So, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem?

Having low self-esteem, you will only see everything negative in yourself, which of course will not lead to anything good.

Justified self-love based on your virtues and constant work above the shortcomings there is a guarantee that others will treat you well.

It's really hard to love someone who do not appreciate and does not respect myself. It's more of a pity than anything else. Being competitive in business or choosing a spouse or many other things is only possible if you have high self-esteem and right attitude towards yourself . repressed and downtrodden personality cannot be realized in the modern world.

It is a big mistake to constantly look for flaws in yourself. The more you do this, the more difficult it will be for you to make any, even the most insignificant decision.

self-criticism- this is excellent, but it must be harmoniously balanced with praise, forgiveness and respect for one's own personality.

Our psyche has enough specific defense mechanisms against pain, discomfort and various threats. Our consciousness is only the visible part of a huge iceberg, which hides the subconscious. It is also not homogeneous and consists of various personalities "coexisting in one body." Each of them affects the consciousness, the body constantly expressing its desires and needs.

Suppressing the natural desire to be happy, developing an inferiority complex, you make it possible to crawl out the most dark corners of your psyche.

This can lead to various psychological deviations of varying severity. A calm person will be doomed to eternal depression(read the article - ""), and in a sensitive nature, signs of schizophrenia, various manias and other extremely serious diseases. Of course, these are very rare cases, but the risk exists.

3. How to determine that you have low self-esteem?

Here is a list of signs by which you can determine whether a person has low self-esteem:

• a large amount of criticism addressed to you, both on the case and out of the blue;
• dissatisfaction with any of their actions and results;
• too strong a reaction to extraneous criticism;
• a painful reaction to an opinion expressed about oneself, even a positive one;
• fear of doing something wrong;
• indecision, it takes a long time to think before doing anything;
• unhealthy jealousy;
• strong envy, especially when others have achieved something;
• an obsessive desire to please, literally creep in front of others;
• hatred of one's environment, unreasonable anger at others;
• constant excuses;
• the desire to protect yourself from everything in the world;
• enduring pessimism;
• lots of negativity all over the place.

Low self-esteem makes a person suffer much more from failure. Any problem is temporary, especially if you start solving it in time.

If a person is insecure, then she will aggravate the trouble until she becomes insoluble, eventually drop his hands and leave everything on gravity that will bring problems in all areas of life.

Such an approach on an ongoing basis will aggravate self-esteem, make you feel worthless, as a result hate yourself.

Society is very sensitive to this, and as soon as your negative attitude towards yourself becomes noticeable, others will begin to treat you worse. The further, the more that eventually ends in alienation and reclusion, a deeply unhappy existence, lack of money and personal life, psycho-emotional disorders.

There is an absolute pattern: respect yourself and others will respect you .

Success factors are self-confidence and high self-esteem

4. Inflated self-esteem and self-confidence 👍 are the most important success factors

Self love- this is not a flaw, not arrogance, and so on. It is worth distinguishing between narcissism and a healthy respect for one's personality.

The most important thing - Reconcile your opinion with reality. If you are really good at carving wood, love yourself for it, be proud of it, even brag about it.

If you have just started doing this - appreciate yourself for striving for something new, desire to do something. In each action, one can find positive parties and negative . Love yourself for the first and adequately treat the second.

Only in this case, the people who surround you will see your positive aspects, start you value and respect. If everything is the other way around, and you look for more and more flaws in your work, others will do the same. And believe me, they will find them.

The more you will confident the more people will reach out to you. And those who have a level of self-esteem higher than yours, and those who have it lower. They will want to communicate closer, start cooperation, just talk with an interesting, confident person who is not afraid and does not hesitate to tell what he sees fit or to do what he thinks is right.

The strength of the spirit attracts everyone- from small to large, which will make you not only popular, but also more satisfied with your life.

Signs of good, high self-esteem:

• the physical body is not a burdensome ugly shell, but a given from nature;
• self-confidence, their actions and words;
• mistakes are not obstacles on the way, but a way to learn more;
• criticism is useful information that does not affect self-esteem;
• compliments are pleasant and do not cause strong emotions;
• speak calmly with all people, do not feel awkward when communicating with strangers;
• each opinion expressed is valuable, but does not fundamentally affect the opinion of the person himself;
• take care of the condition of the body;
• worry about their emotional balance, correct it if necessary;
• constantly harmonious development, without jumps and unrealistic tasks;
• they finish what they started, achieve success in this and are not afraid of it.

Believe in yourself, respect your own self- this is the basis for achieving any goal, including the fundamental one - be happy. This will help you grow above yourself today, forget about those troubles and disgusting feelings that you experienced at the bottom of your own self-esteem.

In the territory of the former Soviet Union, many members of the older generation have big problems with self-esteem. At that time, it was extremely unpopular, since the general good was the leading one, and not the happiness of everyone. Next generation 90s also did not receive enough adequate positive information about themselves from the world due to the difficult situation in the country, lack of money, dangerous criminal situation.

At this time, it's time to forget about it and think about own well-being. In order to change your self-esteem, you need to work on your personality.

This will be the very qualitative change in life that you have dreamed of so much.

The main reasons for low self-esteem

5. Low self-esteem - 5 main causes of self-doubt 📑

The mouse race, in which a person participates from birth, forces him to form a certain opinion about himself. As a result, by the beginning of a conscious life, we often get unhappy and sad a young man who perfectly understands that ahead of him and his complexes there is a lot of trouble and the need to work. Why is it so?

Reason #1. Family

If you ask yourself where a person gets their opinion of themselves, the first correct answer is family. We receive most of our psychological attitudes at a very young age. This is due to the fact that during physiological development, emotional formation also occurs.

In other words, while we are growing up, our parents and environment are laying down the brick-by-brick foundation of our future personality.

It is logical to assume that the opinion created in childhood about ourselves will remain with us for many years, and maybe for life. It is good if parents understand this and are responsible for what they say to the child and how they do it. However, this does not always happen.

For example, according to parents, a child from kindergarten constantly makes mistakes. The progress of parental humiliation looks like this:

• Built a beautiful house from the designer? And who will clean it up?
• Did you beat the guys from the neighboring yard in the game of snowballs? Yes, you’re all wet, you’ll get sick, but we don’t have any money anyway!
• Got an 5 in Physical Education? Where's the math, stupid?
• What do you mean you like this girl? Her father is a gardener, and this is not prestigious!

So, day after day, parents impose on the child that he cannot do anything right. The kid stops believing that he is able to do something with his hands, have fun, choose a partner, company, and so on.

Against this background, self-love cannot arise in any way, who can respect and appreciate such an awkward creature? Then, about twenty years later, parents are surprised to discover that their child is a loser, has not achieved anything in life, is lonely and sad and blames him for this ... himself, because they put so much effort into him, and he, ungrateful... and all in the same vein.

What should a person do in this situation? Of course, work on yourself, increase self-esteem and strive for happiness. Everything is possible, the main thing is to want.

Parents should remember that criticism is a dangerous tool of education that can lead to painful consequences. It is worth knowing that you are raising a separate person who must be confident in his decisions and actions, have his own opinion, be able to make decisions, and not limply follow you as an extension of your body and mind.

The best situation for a baby is good and affectionate mother who always calm and happy. The father, on the other hand, must be demanding, have serious authority and, most importantly, treat the child fairly at any age.

It is also worth paying attention to every baby in the family, even if there are a lot of them. So-called " little brother syndrome", when the younger is reproached for the success of the elder - worse What can you think of to build a healthy self-esteem.

As family for a child- the center of the universe, you should carefully consider his ego. If you feel that your self-esteem is falling, raise it.

It doesn't take much to do this - just give him fair praise a few times a day and he'll go to bed happier. Encourage him to do what he does best and gently point out flaws rather than criticize. So the self-esteem of the child will inevitably rise and ensure his stability in life and a happy future.

Reason number 2. Failure at an early age

From early childhood on our way there are failures. This is inevitable for every person, because we live in a far from ideal world. An adult with a stable psyche is usually quite calm about failures, can overcome them and extract useful information from them, but this is not always the case with children.

At a very early age, even if you don’t remember the failure, it is possible that it is in the depths of your subconscious and whispers all the time: “ do nothing, it won't work anyway, I'm always behind you". This must be fought.

Over time, if you work on your personality, these memories will come up, they will be very painful and unpleasant, but having analyzed them in detail and realizing that your mistake is completely insignificant and should not subsequently affect you in any way, you will get rid of a significant burden on your heart.

Starting from the time you remember well all your troubles, it is much easier to work with this. Rummaging through the mind, you are sure to find a couple dozens moments that have haunted you since high school. Refusal of a roommate, teacher's bad expression, father's rude comment, failure in competition, double in physics are all examples of a heavy load that lowers your self-esteem and takes away positive energy for eternal torment over long-experienced problems.

All this from youth forms the consciousness of a loser who simply cannot achieve something in life, and this is a lie - after all, everyone is capable of it.

Reason number 3. Life passivity

The formation of personality begins in childhood and in the early stages does not require any effort from us. However, the older we get, the more this situation changes.

To 15 years old our personality will not move forward an inch if we do not try for it. That is, over time, more and more willpower will be required from each person in order to at least remain at the original level, for development it will be necessary to do more and more.

If from childhood a child is depressed, not used to working on himself and developing, in adulthood he will relate to the so-called gray mass.

This substance in society is characterized by the fact that its unit:

• does not want to develop;
• constantly putting off important things for later (procrastinates). About that, read in one of our articles;
• does not dream of more;
• does not take personal responsibility for himself or his family;
• accustomed to poverty/small prosperity;
• does not take care of himself, his appearance;
• believes that everything new is terrible and superfluous in his life;
• does not know how to be satisfied or dissatisfied - emotions are absolutely inert.

There is a famous physicist saying that a person without willpower is just a vertical puddle. The gray mass consists of such individuals. This is not an example of poor self-esteem, but of its complete absence.

No aspirations, no wishes, eternal lack of money and lack of any bright impressions that can dispel the gray reality.

This is a rather sad sight that destroys thousands of lives, including those children who grow up in such families. Raise self-esteem in such a case it is vital for women and men.

If this is not done, a happy, bright, full of emotions life will pass by, leaving fragments of poverty and an eternally depressive mood.

Reason number 4. Environment

We are all surrounded by a large number of people. Some of them are successful, others not so much, and others do not want to be so. If you decide to take everything from life, to make yourself a happy, self-confident person, you should acquire the appropriate environment.

Signs of an unhealthy society:

• constant groundless philosophizing, verbiage;
• criticism of everything in the world, from the government to neighbors, especially groundless or meaningless;
• inertia and lack of initiative, for example, if you cannot persuade your friends to go to a concert or a movie;
• constant gossip, condemnation of others behind their backs;
• planning to get rich quick without any action or effort;
• a large amount of alcohol, cigarettes and other bad habits.

The lack of desire to develop, work and generally try in life is quite contagious. In such a company, you feel no worse than anyone, but it relaxes, requires a lot of time and emotions, pulls you to the bottom. This is energy vampirism which is difficult, even impossible, to fight. If you can, leave such a company or environment completely, if not, just minimize communication.

The best society for those who strive to develop is people who have already achieved. Don't know how to meet them? Try going to places you haven't been before. Usually this libraries, book the shops, theaters, thematic establishments, seminars, trainings etc.

Reason number 5. Appearance problems

A strong factor, especially in adolescence, is appearance. If she has some defects, then even with the right approach of relatives to education, low self-esteem can be formed on the basis of the opinions of peers, teachers, and so on.

The most common example in this case is excess weight. Offensive nicknames, the lack of attention of girls / boys, the contemptuous attitude of some adults - all this naturally affects the personality of the child.

If this manifested itself in adulthood, then the person will demonstrate his resentment not so clearly, but the pain will not decrease from this.

In order to change this, you can try to fix the defect. For example, if this is a diet, then the whole family should sit on it so that the child does not feel disadvantaged. If change is not possible, the child needs to be helped to come to terms with this situation and develop in a different direction.

There are many charismatic and attractive fat men in the world and thin people who are absolutely not interesting to anyone.

7 Ways to Raise Your Self-Esteem and Become Self-Confident

6. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 ways 📚

Having figured out what self-esteem is, why it is needed and what influences it on its formation, you can proceed to how to work with it, namely how to raise it.

It’s not enough just to realize that you don’t evaluate yourself correctly, you also need to be able to change the situation. Below are some interesting and effective ways to increase self-esteem and confidence.

Method number 1. Environment

The society you move in defines who you are. It is important for everyone not to be the last. In a company where no one has achieved anything, you feel comfortable because everyone is just like you.

Now imagine that you find yourself in a social circle where one bought a new car yesterday, the second opened a new branch of his store, the third recently graduated from university. At the same time, you hardly graduated from technical school, and can't get a job anywhere.

What will your feelings be? Certainly unpleasant. In addition, you will receive a powerful, powerful impetus to development, a desire to do something significant for your life and career. At first you will feel awkward, but over time you will realize that you are changing for the better with this company.

In addition, you will get rid of the eternally depressing social circle that pulls you to the bottom and ridicules all your timid undertakings.

A strong and successful person will never, laughs at those who are just trying their hand. On the contrary, he will help and prompt, even support, if necessary.

Look for the right social circle that will make you work on yourself.

Method number 2. Literature, trainings, films

Having dealt with the environment, proceed to decisive steps, namely, take up reading books on working on yourself, increasing self-esteem. This list will help you:

• Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
• Sharon Wegshida-Kroes “How much are you worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself”;
• "The Charm of the Feminine" by Helen Andelin;
• Louise Hay Heal Your Life.

Next stage - attending seminars and practices . People who want to change and coaches who are able to give it to them gather here. Thus, you change the environment and get the desired information. This is an effective way that allows you to kill two birds with one stone.

Method number 3. The comfort zone is actually the enemy

No matter how strange it may sound, but for now you comfortable and calmly in the world in which you exist is very bad for your personality. The established rules of life will make you ossify and freeze at one place. Only by doing something new can you develop.

In fact, it only seems to you that you already have all the best. There, outside your invisible cage, lives and rages wonderful and amusing a world that is filled not with difficulties and troubles, but with incredible adventures, new stories and acquaintances.

As soon as you throw your fears into the furnace, it will open up to you, instill a sense of self-confidence and show many of the brightest events that you could not even think of.

What do you need to do to leave your "comfort zone"? Analyze where your time is going. How many hours a week do you watch TV, how much do you drink, how much do you play games, and so on. Reduce this time by three hours in seven days and devote them to something new. For what you've always wanted: sculpt from clay, sew a new dress, plant a flower, go to the circus / cinema / theater. The more active the better. Over time, a bright life will suck you in, and you will forget about the mediocre chatty box and other garbage items.

Method number 4. Down with self-criticism!

If you stop eating yourself alive superfluous self-criticism , you can immediately complete three extremely important tasks, which in other ways will take you a lot of time and effort.

First of all, you will get a lot of free energy. All those forces that you spent on self-criticism and the search for reasons for it can be directed to actions that are more pleasant and useful. For example, reading exciting books with a relaxing plot or writing poetry, knitting, planting flowers, and so on.

Secondly, you will begin to perceive yourself as a holistic person who has his own personality. Yes, you do not look like Vasya, Einstein or Alain Delon. Do not need! Be yourself, and do not participate in the eternal, someone else's competition in which someone has already taken first place.

Thirdly, you will begin to notice in yourself not only the negative, but also the positive aspects. Everyone has something good, something that he knows how to do. Discover it, isolate and educate, improve, nurture, without wasting time and effort. This is the best investment in yourself!

Whatever painful mistakes you encounter, don't let yourself grieve over them for more than an hour. After suffering a little, force yourself to be happy again, and take failure as an experience.

Method number 5. Physical exercise

So unloved by many physical exercise greatly affect our emotional state. To boost self-esteem, buying a gym membership can do more than a lot of training.

This happens because:

• during sports, a wonderful hormone dopamine is released in a person, which excites our brain and gives a pleasant encouragement, in common parlance it is also called the hormone of joy;
• you bring your body, and hence your appearance, into perfect order, so that over time you can be proud of it and respect yourself for the work done;
• even the classes themselves are important without results, because in the process of performing each exercise you overcome laziness, complexes and other troubles;
• improving well-being gives and develops confidence in yourself and your actions, in every step - it is easier for you to move and feel, it is easier to persuade yourself to start doing something.

This is a great way to improve the quality of life for people with a sedentary lifestyle and the same job. All day, after spending in a stuffy office, it is worth unwinding, but not going to drink beer in a bar. It's more likely to have a detrimental effect on you, and sport on the contrary, it will update and make it more cheerful.

A heavy-lifting person, with a heavy and unattractive body, cannot feel good in the company of slender and healthy people. This is fertile ground for the development of complexes, lowering self-esteem and other troubles.

Among other things, sports will help to start New acquaintances with purposeful people who can teach and show by your own example, that any changes are possible, which also has a beneficial effect on your psyche.

Method number 6. Subconscious programming

You can also influence your consciousness with the help of another, no less interesting and effective tool - programming. In psychology, this is called affirmations. Consider your computer. You give it a command, it processes it and takes the requested action. It's the same with our subconscious, only a little more complicated. You can't just say, "make me happy and confident."

The code, the command is memorized or recorded on the recorder. It should sound like a solid, realized fact. For example, "I am confident", " girls like me», « I can have what I want without much effort» and all in the same spirit. There should not be many such phrases, they should be repeated in the playlist or just to yourself for about two minutes.

These affirmations and they will be the very installation in the subconscious, the command for the computer, which will convince your subconscious of what you need. Do you want to be confident- please convince the hidden parts of your brain of this and it will independently remake the entire conscious part so that you become completely independent and can easily make decisions.

There is one rule here - you need to do this regularly, even after you feel the changes. Continue until you are surprised to find that the affirmations you are listening to are already a fact.

Remember that these words should have an extremely positive effect on your personality, not form ambiguities and not be in doubt. What you convince yourself of should have only benefits, without negative effects, because it will not be easy to “persuade” the subconscious mind back.

Method number 7. Remember your victories

Never neglect what has already been done. This is important for your consciousness, and for the subconscious and for a good mood. There is always something to praise yourself for, and if this is not enough, you will begin to subconsciously strive to do something good for the sake of it. Even if you praise yourself.

To operate this mechanism, start a notebook of victories. In it you need to write down everything that you consider a good deed, a useful action, and so on. Any little things or minor victories - all this is very important for your self-esteem, a sense of being needed in the world.

It might look like this, for example:

• had breakfast on time;
• took the linen from the laundry;
• bought some roses for his beloved wife;
• pleased his daughter with a game of tag;
• earned an award for a well-written report;
• went to the gym three times a week;
• lost 300 grams.

As you can see, achievements can be anything as long as they brought joy to someone or moral satisfaction to you. In a few months, you can collect an impressive collection that will warm your soul on cold evenings.

Write it down in your personal notebook and in difficult times when you cannot find strength in yourself do some difficult task or go up to an extracurricular meeting at work, reread a few pages of the diary.

Your mood is guaranteed to rise, you will remember how many positive emotions your efforts brought to you and your loved ones, and this is a powerful impetus to defeat all the troubles in the world.

The use of these ways to increase self-esteem requires regularity and mindfulness. Carefully monitor your state and thoughts, try to highlight the most successful of them, watch how you change.

This will help you get to know yourself better, learn to communicate with your inner self, and control your life.

Coaching to develop and increase self-confidence - by overcoming public opinion

7. Self-confidence training - overcoming the opinions of society 📝

The society that surrounds us, as we have already understood, seriously affects our self-esteem. If you attach too much importance to it, then it is quite capable of destroying the personality.

Of course, criticism is important. Our loved ones point out our mistakes to us, show us the moments in which, in their opinion, we did wrong and this is good. It is called healthy relationships .

However, let it completely define your personality bad. Each person must independently decide what is good in his life and what is not, and how in the end he will act in a given situation.

Don't worry about what others will say about you first. First, decide what you think about it, and try to perceive the rest of the information as a background, secondarily.

Try to make sure that the opinion of society depends on yours, and not vice versa. There are several interesting exercises for this.

A little circus. This is just a physical exercise that will require serious psychological strength from you. Look in the closet for something ridiculous - an old long tie, funny pants, anything that seems funny to you. Now put it on and boldly head out into the street. Go shopping, go to the movies and so on. It's not worth doing this at work.- may be misunderstood, otherwise - complete expanse. However, do not overdo it, first take less provocative things and eventually put on something more fun so as not to immediately injure your psyche.

This exercise works like this. Your subconscious retains a lot of complexes that are associated with its appearance. The more you go out of your comfort zone, that is, dress inappropriately, the more your subconscious mind will independently destroy established complexes and make your consciousness, and therefore life, freer.

More public. This exercise is simple. The more you speak in public, the more honed this skill will become. Speaking in front of a large number of people requires composure, high-quality preparation, and an effort of will.

This will help you learn to concentrate and complete the task quickly, while being responsible for the result. In addition, it will elevate you in the eyes of your superiors, and will recommend you well among a large audience.

Do these two exercises and be firm in your opinion.

8. How to find yourself and learn how to manage your self-esteem 📋

Much has been said about self-esteem. It may be difficult for you to immediately perceive and implement the entire situation.

For this there is 5 golden rules to print out and hang on the fridge. Constantly reminding and reading them will do the job for you. On a subconscious level, your brain will perceive them as instructions for action and will facilitate the period of transformation into a successful person.

• No need to compare yourself and others!
• No need to beat yourself up for mistakes!
• Surround yourself with positivity!
• Learn to love what you do!
• Prefer action over passivity!

Everyone unique and worthy happiness. It is imperative to unleash your unlimited potential in order to get everything out of life.

This requires constant work on yourself and a mandatory increase in self-esteem. But the results will not be long in coming, which will benefit both you and your environment.

9. Self-esteem test - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today 📄

The first practical task on the way to increase self-esteem is to determine its level. To do this, there is a very simple self-esteem test of a dozen questions.

It is very easy to pass it - read each item and answer " Yes" or " No" . Every time you answer " Yes"Remember.

1. Do you sharply criticize yourself when you make a mistake?
2. Gossip is one of your favorite activities?
3. You do not have clear guidelines?
4. Are you not physically active?
5. Do you often worry about the little things?
6. In an unfamiliar society, do you prefer not to be noticed?
7. Does criticism make you feel stressed?
8. Envy and criticism of others often happens?
9. The opposite sex remains a mystery, scares you?
10. Can an inadvertently thrown word offend you?

Now you need to remember how many "Yes" you said. If less three Your self-esteem is at a normal level. If more three- you need work on it.

10. Conclusion + related video

With a sincere desire to change and change your life, you can achieve a lot. Raising, normalizing self-esteem, this is one of the first, fairly simple steps, which ultimately allows you to achieve success, happiness and of money.

Do not spare your strength, do not take care of yourself until better times. Develop now, get invaluable experience and build your future on a new level!

Low self-esteem can be compared to a bad habit: a person understands that it bothers him, but it's hard to get rid of it. The problem can be found in many people, so the question "how to increase self-esteem" remains relevant.

There are many ways to deal with low self-esteem. The article contains rather non-trivial, while highly effective methods. It is also good to get acquainted with them for those who have everything in order with self-esteem (for preventive purposes), and for some people the guide will be the first step to a fulfilling life.

Know how to face your fears

People with low self-esteem have had many situations, the mere thought of which causes panic. It can be a fear of speaking up: suddenly someone will say an offensive phrase, another will criticize to the nines, a third will reject feelings ... Some are even afraid to go out and get to know each other in order to avoid a potential “failure”. It is necessary to fight with fears, otherwise they can thoroughly spoil life.

Of course, it is worth reasoning sensibly, objectively assessing the risks. But more often than not, the problems turn out to be far-fetched. Nothing terrible will happen if a new acquaintance is not interested in communicating. It is painful to understand that sympathy is not mutual, but such feelings pass sooner or later. In addition, if you are afraid to confess, you may not know that the other person is experiencing the same thing in response.

To become bold, decisive and respect yourself, you need to act. Few things can destroy self-esteem like blind faith in your own failure. After a series of different situations, an understanding comes - not everything is as scary as it seemed initially, other people are not aggressive, ready to communicate and are not going to criticize for trying to establish a common language with them. Other problems also turn out to be frivolous, far-fetched. It is important not to stop after the first step, to continue on the path to your goal, rejecting fears.

Learn to say "no" and not feel guilty about it

The advice is far from new, but it really works. The most important part is to stop feeling guilty after the rejection. Some people who have learned to say "no" do not cope with it. There may be a feeling that by refusing a person brings someone down, deceiving other people's expectations. But first of all, you should focus on yourself. You can go all your life on the occasion of others, not paying attention to your own negative feelings.

Another option is to strike a balance between what is done for oneself and for others. For the sake of some cases, you have to sacrifice something. However, justifying the expectations of everyone else, forgetting about yourself, is a rejection of a full-fledged happy life in favor of those who can use someone else's reliability.

Break the ties that pull you to the bottom

This advice can be considered a continuation of the previous one. A person who has learned to say "no" to preserve his interests may hear unpleasant things addressed to himself. Friends who constantly asked for help will wonder why this time they are denied. If you do something for others for many years, they get used to it and “sit down on your neck”. They are very comfortable - there is always someone to whom you can shift some of the responsibilities.

For many girls who are used to wearing bright makeup even before going to the store, this turns out to be a difficulty. At first, the thought “how terrible I look” does not leave my head. An “ugly” appearance without makeup is not an objective reality, but just a factor of unusualness. Seeing yourself in the mirror with makeup every day, and then getting used to the natural look is difficult, but possible.

The girl realizes that she looks good without decorative cosmetics, and can use it less often. In addition, it will be useful for the skin to take a break from thick foundation creams, blush, mascara, and other cosmetics for some time. The same applies to hairstyles and not the most comfortable wardrobe items.

On the Internet you can find advice about changing the image, choosing good clothes, makeup. In itself, the advice does not carry anything bad, but it is fraught with hidden danger. If a person feels confident and likes to look in the mirror only when he is smartly dressed and perfectly combed, this still indicates problems with self-esteem.

You should not take everything literally and rush to the other extreme - look untidy, throw out beautiful things, leaving only stretched home clothes in the closet. In everything you need to know the measure. A girl who wears heels or uncomfortable but beautiful lingerie regularly will feel relieved if she switches to more practical clothes that do not cause discomfort at least for a while. Even greater joy will be the realization that attractiveness, the feeling of being beautiful does not depend on clothes - it is internal state.

Do not depend on compliments and criticism

Listening to what others have to say and building self-esteem based on it is a dubious exercise. Often you can meet people who repeat the opinions of others. “A colleague said that red hair suits me better”, “a girl says that I look better without a beard”, “my mother is horrified by my new sweater, she advises me to buy a turtleneck” ... It is worth considering why people trust the environment more than their own sensations.

Where does the desire to never wear new comfortable clothes come from if someone snorts disapprovingly? A person who realizes that his comfort is first of all important will not worry about the fact that someone does not like his appearance, clothes or behavior. The point is not to protect from criticism, which can be useful and help to progress, but to divide it into objective / subjective. If your boss criticizes a half-finished report, a friend says that you are hurting him with your actions, and your parents beg you to call at least once a month, you should probably listen and change your behavior. But annoying advice to change your hairstyle, image, or flattering compliments, on which a person literally depends, can be safely relegated to the background.

be selfish

For some reason, it is believed that a person who knows his own worth, who cares about his own happiness, is incredibly selfish. If you take these measures, then you should be selfish. It is unlikely that a person loses something when he decides to devote more time to himself, develop, limit himself from unpleasant contacts, and remove unnecessary things from life. But he gets a lot in return.

It is important to find time for yourself, appreciate it and use it wisely, choose your own interests first, spend resources on yourself. After such a kind of “therapy”, new forces appear, a desire to take care of others, but not to do it to the detriment of oneself.

Learn to perceive loneliness as a plus

One of the reasons for low self-esteem is the feeling of loneliness. When a person has few friends, no couple, there is a feeling of uselessness. But at the same time, loneliness can be turned to your advantage. You should not become a recluse, deliberately doing everything to protect yourself from others. The advantages of loneliness are a large amount of time and free space, complete freedom of action. You can learn languages, dance in front of a mirror, get rid of embarrassment, read books, lounging on the bed, watch any movie and listen to pop music at high volume.

The most important thing in this is the realization that loneliness is not necessarily boring, but having your own company is unexpectedly pleasant. Getting pleasure from being alone with yourself is a huge step towards increasing self-esteem. The bonus is self-development and, no matter how trite it may sound, getting happiness from the freedom to choose leisure activities.

Be ready for new unusual sensations

Changing your perception of yourself inevitably leads to mixed feelings. Sometimes anger may appear: a person does not understand how for so many years he has allowed others to dictate to him how to look, communicate, and act. We can say that in this case, anger is justified to a certain extent, just like bewilderment. Taking it out on others, trying to take revenge is a bad option.

It is important to realize that these emotions and feelings are inevitable, but they should not be thoughtlessly splashed out or suppressed. A person needs to comprehend the changes that have occurred, to continue to improve his life. The next steps may be new acquaintances, hobbies, change of unloved job, serious conversations with loved ones, helping to understand each other.

Follow the balance

Inflated self-esteem is also a negative phenomenon. You should not consider yourself the best, beautiful and smart on the planet, neglecting other people. The goal of raising self-esteem is to accept oneself entirely, with all the shortcomings and virtues, a harmonious and happy life. The above does not include self-affirmation at the expense of others, the deification of the individual and opposition to the majority of people.

There is a big difference between adequate self-esteem and praising one's qualities, showing off, immoderate pride. Noticing attempts to rise behind him, a person should stop them in the bud. In addition, often those who consider themselves better than the rest, in fact, mask low self-esteem with the other extreme. Happy people have no need to boost their self-esteem by putting others down.

Some tips seem difficult to implement, but it's worth a try nonetheless. A person will not lose anything, but he can gain self-confidence. The main thing is not to rush and not give up if something does not work out. Change is rarely lightning fast; everything needs its time. The main friends on the path to change are perseverance, determination and awareness of the desire to make life better.

How to raise self-esteem and love yourself? How to gain self-confidence and believe in yourself? What self-esteem tips and tricks really work?

Greetings, dear readers! With you Denis Kuderin.

It has long been proven by scientists that self-esteem is one of the most important factors in achieving success in life and a sense of self-confidence.

Low self-esteem leads to poverty, depression and a sense of the meaninglessness of one's own existence.

If you or your friends are faced with this problem, then today I will share with you effective ways to resolve it, which helped me personally.

All the techniques and techniques described in the article are recommended by leading psychologists and simply successful people who apply them every day in their own lives.

Using them in practice, you can not only become more confident, but in the end even increase your income and even start a business.

Let's start, friends!

1. What is self-esteem: definition and its impact on our lives

To achieve success in any area of ​​his activity, a person needs to be self-confident and be able to convince others of his rightness.

People with low self-esteem cannot be happy by definition: their entire existence consists of doubts, disappointments and introspection. Meanwhile, a bright, eventful life passes by, reaching those who do not doubt their own rightness and confidently walk towards their goal.

A person with low self-esteem considers himself unworthy of happiness, therefore, subconsciously inferior in everything to others. To change the situation in your favor, you need to change yourself - there is no other way.

In this article, I will tell you why a person's self-esteem is so important, what reasons affect its decline, and how to increase self-esteem for a man, woman (girl), teenager with the most effective methods.

Self-esteem- this is an individual's idea of ​​the importance of his personality in relation to other people and an assessment of his own qualities - advantages and disadvantages.

Self-esteem is extremely important for the full functioning of the individual in society and the achievement of various life goals - success, self-realization, family happiness, spiritual and material well-being.

Self-assessment features

The self-assessment functions are as follows:

• Protective- provides stability and relative independence of the individual from the opinions of others;
• Regulatory- enables a person to solve problems of personal choice;
• Educational- provides an impetus to personal development.

Of decisive importance in the early formation of self-esteem is the assessment of our personality by others - in particular, parents, peers, friends. Ideally, self-esteem should be based only on the individual's own opinion of himself, but in reality it is influenced by many different factors.

Self-esteem is the attitude of a person to himself: to his capabilities, physical and spiritual qualities. An adequate assessment of one's own capabilities helps to avoid mistakes and at the same time is an incentive for further development.

Psychologists believe that ideal self-esteem is the most accurate assessment of a person's abilities.

Low self-esteem makes a person doubt, think and make wrong decisions, and too high self-esteem leads to making a lot of mistakes.

In most cases, we are dealing with a person's underestimation of his capabilities, which is why a person is not able to fully reveal his potential and does not understand how to increase self-esteem.

A well-known coach in the field of the psychology of success believes that low self-esteem is the main reason for a person’s financial insolvency. After all, if you treat yourself badly, you don’t have confidence in your abilities, then you are doomed to be poor, and you won’t even have to dream of your own business.

On the contrary, an increase in self-esteem leads to an increase in your income and earning more money. So if you have financial problems, be sure to look for the cause in your emotional state.

An inferiority complex is a pathological manifestation of low self-esteem.

It is self-esteem that is the key to achieving success in any sphere of human activity. Self-confidence leads to the adoption of important and timely decisions, and underestimation of one’s strengths reduces the level of a person’s personal energy, makes him constantly doubt himself and, instead of actions, think about action.

2. Why it's important to love yourself and what happens if you don't

To increase self-esteem means to love yourself: to accept yourself as you are with all the flaws and flaws. Everyone has disadvantages: a self-confident person differs from an ever-doubting and insecure person in that he sees in himself not only shortcomings, but also advantages, and at the same time he knows how to present himself favorably to others.

If you don't love yourself, how can others love you? It is known that consciously and subconsciously people strive for contact and communication with self-confident individuals. It is these individuals who are most often chosen as business partners, friends and husbands (or wives).

If you doubt yourself and reproach yourself for every little thing, you automatically program yourself for further failures and make the decision-making process more and more difficult. Learn to praise yourself, forgive yourself and love yourself - you will see how the attitude of others around you will change.

Signs of low (-) self-esteem

A person with low self-esteem usually manifests such qualities as:

• excessive self-criticism and dissatisfaction with oneself;
• increased sensitivity to criticism and the opinions of others;
• constant indecision and fear of making a mistake;
• pathological jealousy;
• envy of the success of others;
• a passionate desire to please;
• hostility towards others;
• constant defensive position and the need to justify one's actions;
• pessimism, negative outlook.

An individual with low self-esteem perceives temporary difficulties and failures as permanent and draws the wrong conclusions. The worse we treat ourselves, the more negatively others treat us: this leads to alienation, depression and other psycho-emotional disorders.

3. High self-esteem and self-confidence is an important factor in achieving success

Before I talk about ways to increase self-esteem, I want to emphasize the importance of self-love for success and well-being. For some reason, it is believed that selfishness is a sin, or at least something that should be avoided.

In fact, the lack of love and respect for one's own personality just gives rise to numerous complexes and internal conflicts.

If a person has a low opinion of himself, it is unlikely that others will think differently. And vice versa - self-confident people are usually highly appreciated by others: they listen to their opinion, they strive to communicate and cooperate with them. By learning to respect ourselves, we will gain the respect of others, and we will also learn to adequately relate to the opinions of others about us.

Signs of high (+) self-esteem

People with healthy, high self-esteem have the following benefits:

• accept their physical appearance as it is;
• self-confident;
• not afraid to make mistakes and learn from them;
• calmly perceive criticism and compliments;
• know how to communicate, do not feel shy when communicating with strangers;
• respect the opinions of others, but also value their own view of things;
• take care of their physical and emotional well-being;
• develop harmoniously;
• achieve success in their endeavors.

Self-confidence and self-respect are as necessary factors for success and happiness as the sun and water are for a plant: personal growth is impossible without them. Low self-esteem deprives a person of perspective and hope for change.

4. Low self-esteem - top 5 reasons

There are a great many factors that directly or indirectly affect our attitude towards ourselves. These are genetic features, and external data, and social status, and marital status. Below we look at 5 of the most common causes of low self-esteem.

Reason 1. Wrong upbringing in the family

Our attitude towards ourselves directly depends on the right upbringing. If our parents did not encourage us, but on the contrary, scolded us and constantly compared us with others, we simply will not have a reason to love ourselves - there will be no soil on which faith in our abilities will be based.

A decrease in self-esteem and a lack of confidence in one's own words and actions are influenced by parents' criticism of any initiatives, undertakings and actions. Even as an adult, a person who was constantly criticized as a child subconsciously continues to be afraid of mistakes.

Parents (teachers, coaches) should know how to increase the self-esteem of a child who suffers from self-doubt and self-doubt.

The best way is praise, unobtrusive encouragement. It is enough to sincerely praise the kid several times for a correctly completed school assignment, a carefully drawn drawing, and his self-esteem will inevitably increase.

Psychologists say that the family is the center of the world for the child: it is there that all the future characteristics of an adult personality are laid. Passivity, lethargy, insecurity, others negative qualities- a direct reflection of parental suggestions and attitudes.

Usually, self-esteem is higher in single children and those who were born first. Other children often develop a "little brother complex" where parents constantly compare the younger child to the older one.

An ideal family for adequate self-esteem is one in which the mother is always calm in a good mood, and the father is demanding, fair and has unquestioned authority.

Reason 2. Frequent failures in childhood

No one is immune from failures, the main thing is our attitude towards them. A severe traumatic event can affect the psyche in the form of a guilt complex and a decrease in self-esteem. For example, some children blame themselves for the divorce of their parents or their frequent quarrels: in the future, guilt is transformed into constant doubt and inability to make a decision.

In childhood, completely harmless events acquire cosmic proportions. For example, taking second, and not first place in a competition, an adult athlete will sigh and continue training with a vengeance, and a child can get psychologically traumatized for life, especially if the parents do not show proper understanding of the situation.

What feeds on low self-esteem in childhood? Failures, mistakes, ridicule of peers, careless remarks of adults (parents in the first place). As a result, a teenager develops an opinion that he is bad, unlucky, defective, and a false sense of guilt appears for his actions.

Reason 3. Lack of clear goals in life

If you have nothing to strive for in life, you do not need to strain and make strong-willed efforts. Lack of clear goals, laziness, following standard philistine imperatives is easy and does not require the manifestation of personal qualities. Such a person does not plan to become successful and rich, he is passive in nature.

Often, people with low self-esteem live on autopilot, half-heartedly. They are satisfied with gray tones, an inconspicuous lifestyle, the absence of bright colors - there is no desire to get out of the swamp. Such people stop paying attention to their own appearance, income, stop dreaming and strive for change. Naturally, self-esteem in such a situation is not just low, but absent altogether.

Growing up, a person becomes passive, and then transfers all these problems to his family when he marries (marries).

Here the conclusion suggests itself: it is also necessary to increase self-esteem for a man and a woman, that is, an adult, just like a child. After all, everything starts from childhood, and then nothing changes if an adult does not make efforts for this.

Reason 4. Unhealthy social environment

If you are surrounded by people without definite goals in life, who are in constant spiritual suspended animation, it is unlikely that you will have a desire for internal transformations.

High self-esteem and ambitions appear where there are role models - if all your friends and acquaintances are used to living in the shadows, without showing initiative, then you, most likely, will be completely satisfied with such an existence.

If you notice that in your environment everyone is pathologically accustomed to complaining about life, gossiping, judging others and philosophizing excessively for no reason - it’s worth considering, are you on your way with these people?

After all, such people can become energy vampires for you and prevent you from awakening your true potential.

If you feel that such a trend is taking place, change this environment or at least limit communication with it.

It is best to communicate with those people who are already successful, have their own business and know how to make money. We have already written earlier on the topic, we recommend that you read this article.

Reason 5. Defects in appearance and health

Low self-esteem often occurs in children with physical defects or congenital diseases.

Even if parents behave correctly towards such a child, the social environment can significantly influence him - first of all, the opinion of peers.

A typical example is overweight children who are given offensive nicknames in kindergarten or school. Low self-esteem in such cases is practically ensured if appropriate measures are not taken.

In this case, it is worth trying to eliminate the existing shortcomings, and if this is not possible, then you need to start developing other qualities in yourself that will make the person (child) more developed, charismatic and self-confident.

Example

If a child is overweight and has a corresponding unattractive appearance, then with the right approach to the development of his abilities and talents, this disadvantage can be turned into an advantage.

Perhaps he will show the ability to sports (weightlifting or wrestling, or boxing), or vice versa, he will be able to become a sought-after actor with his inherent type.

In general, there are thousands of examples where people with huge physical disabilities have achieved worldwide recognition, created happy families and at the same time live the life that the "healthy" can only dream of.

The most striking example of this is the world famous speaker and preacher. Nick was born no arms and no legs , naturally experienced a huge inferiority complex and even wanted to commit suicide.

But, thanks to his willpower and desire to live, he achieved public recognition and helped thousands of people around the world find themselves and cope with psychological difficulties.

Now Nick is a dollar millionaire and a favorite of thousands of people, because he helped them change their lives. By working on your self-esteem, you can achieve unprecedented heights and even repeat the success of Nick Vujicic, despite the fact that now your condition may not be the best.

And we already wrote about how rich people think and what it takes to become a millionaire.

5. How to Boost Self-Esteem and Confidence - 7 Powerful Ways

How to raise self-esteem and love yourself? There are many ways to make yourself believe in your own strength, but I have chosen seven of the most reliable and effective options.

Method 1. Change of environment and communication with successful people

Since man is a social being, he is completely dependent on his environment. How to believe in yourself and increase self-esteem with the help of other people? Very simple - you need to change your environment.

I already wrote above that communication with lack of initiative, lethargic and lazy people without ambition and desire for change is a direct way to lower self-esteem and lack of life motivation.

If you radically change your social circle and begin to contact successful, purposeful, self-confident people, you will almost immediately feel how you are changing for the better. Gradually, self-respect, self-love and all those qualities, without which it is impossible to achieve success, will return to you.

By communicating with successful and prosperous people, you will learn to appreciate individuality (including your own), begin to treat personal time in a different way, gain a goal and begin to achieve success on your own.

Method 2. Attending events, trainings, seminars

In any city, events, trainings or seminars are held, at which specialists teach everyone who wants self-confidence and self-esteem.

Experts in applied psychology in a few months will be able to make a strong-willed, self-satisfied and purposeful person out of a timid, indecisive individual: the main thing is to have an initial impulse and desire for change.

There are many competent books that describe in detail, with examples and explanations, the need for love and respect for yourself: if you want changes, acquaintance with such literature will be very productive.

Particularly relevant to boosting women's self-esteem will be Helen Andelin's The Allure of the Feminine and Louise Hay's Heal Your Life.

It is also useful to watch video content on this topic - documentaries and feature films that help increase self-esteem.

Method 3. Getting out of the "comfort zone" - performing unusual actions

The desire of a person to get away from problems in the zone of personal comfort is quite understandable. It is much easier in difficult situations to console yourself with sweets, alcohol, savoring your own impotence. It is much more difficult to face the challenge and do something that is out of character for us.

At first, it may seem that outside the comfort zone is a hostile and inhospitable world, but then the understanding will come that real life, full of beauty, adventure and positive emotions, is exactly where you have not been before.

Staying in habitual conditions is like living in an invisible cage, from which you are afraid to leave simply because you are used to it. By learning to leave your "comfort zone" and at the same time remain calm, collected and balanced, you will gain a powerful incentive to raise your self-esteem and form your new image.

You can start small - for example, stop sitting in front of the TV after work, and buy a subscription to the gym, go jogging, yoga, meditation.

Set a task - to learn an unfamiliar language in six months or to meet a girl you like tonight. Do not be afraid if the first time you do not succeed - but new sensations and increased self-esteem are guaranteed.

Method 4. Refusal of excessive self-criticism

By stopping self-flagellation, blaming yourself and "eating" for mistakes, flaws in appearance, failures in your personal life, you will achieve several goals at once:

1. Release a huge amount of energy. You will not have to pay attention to self-blame, and there will be time for other, more creative and worthy tasks;
2. Learn to accept yourself the way you are. You are the one and only person on this planet. So why compare yourself to others? It is better to focus on achieving your own goals according to your potential and your idea of ​​happiness;
3. learn to see positive features your personality. Instead of dwelling on the negative, purposefully find your strengths and work on developing them.

In the end, any failures, disappointments and mistakes can be turned to your advantage by using it as a life experience.

Method 5. Playing sports and maintaining a healthy lifestyle

In the course of experiments conducted by European scientists, it was found that one of the easiest and most effective ways to increase self-esteem is to go in for sports, physical education or activities aimed at improving health and well-being.

A healthy body is a receptacle for a healthy spirit and right thoughts, and vice versa: it is difficult for a person who is heavy on his feet, with an untrained body, to make decisions and act independently.

Having started playing sports, a person begins to perceive his appearance less critically and treat himself more respectfully. At the same time, the increase in self-esteem does not depend on the results of training: even if the changes are minor, the process of training itself is important.

The more actively you train, the better you begin to relate to yourself.

Any physical activity (especially for a person working in an office) is an opportunity to gain confidence and love yourself. There is a completely scientific explanation for this phenomenon: during sports, a person intensively produces dopamines - neurotransmitters responsible for encouragement (in bypass they are sometimes called "hormones of joy").

Biochemical changes have a positive effect on the psyche and increase our self-esteem.

Method 6. Listening to affirmations

Affirmations are one of the most effective ways to reprogram your own mind. In psychology, affirmations are short verbal formulas that, when repeated many times, create a positive attitude in the human subconscious. In the future, this attitude contributes to a change in character traits and personality in the direction of improvement.

Affirmations are always formulated as a fait accompli, which makes a person take them for granted and think accordingly. If our subconscious considers us self-confident, successful and purposeful, then gradually we really become so.

Typical examples of self-esteem affirmations are: “I am the master of my life”, “I can have everything I want”, “I believe in myself, so everything comes to me freely and without effort.” These linguistic formulas can be repeated independently or listened to in the player: the main thing in this practice is regularity.

Read these phrases into the microphone, recording a track of several minutes from them and listen to free time. This technology is recommended by Western psychologists and has proven to be highly effective.

Method 7. Keeping a diary of successes and achievements

A diary of your own victories and achievements will help raise self-esteem for teenagers, men and women.

Start such a diary right now and write down everything that you managed to achieve in a day (week, month). A success diary is a powerful stimulating tool that will make you believe in yourself and allow you to multiply your own efficiency.

Every day, write down any of your victories, even small ones.

Example

• Moved my grandmother across the road;
• I wanted to eat junk food, but restrained myself;
• Woke up and went to bed on time (according to plan);
• Made a gift to your beloved (beloved);
• Earned 10% more than the previous month;

All these "little things" are related to your personal successes, be sure to write them down in your success diary and read it regularly.

If you write down only 5 simple things a day, then in a month it will already be 150 of your achievements!

Not so little for one month, agree?!

In one of our articles, it was written that keeping a diary of success can be the first step towards this.

6. Dependence on public opinion - a factor that destroys the personality: we defeat self-doubt

Public opinion can ruin our lives if given too much importance.

Constructive criticism pointing out specific mistakes - this is useful and helps in development, but completely dependent on the opinions of others - big mistake.

Learn to value your own opinion and your own view of things, then the words of others will cease to be so important to you. If you, when performing any actions, think first of all about what people will say, how they will look at you, then you are unlikely to succeed in your endeavors.

Let public opinion depend on you, not you on it. Embody your own will and think less about the consequences.

How to become more confident - practical exercises

1. "Your own clown." Preparation: you dress ridiculously, for example, in curlers, a huge tie, funny clothes. Then go out, go shopping, generally act like it's your everyday look. Naturally, you will feel discomfort in this form. But at the same time, your psychological threshold for critical perception of you by others will decrease;
2. "Speaker for Life" Try to speak in public as often as possible. If at work the boss asks someone to prepare a presentation, organize an event or go on a business trip with an important report - take the initiative and take on these functions. If you have a fear of public speaking, then ways to overcome it have already been described in.

Both of these exercises involve getting out of your comfort zone. Our brain begins to think that this behavior is normal for us and these things no longer cause such stress as before. Remember, the best way to get rid of fear is to do what you are afraid of!

7. How to find yourself and learn how to manage your self-esteem - 5 important tips

And now 5 short tips for managing self-esteem:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others;
2. Stop scolding and criticizing yourself;
3. Hang out with positive people;
4. Do what you enjoy;
5. Take action, don't think about action!

Remember that you are a unique person with great potential and unlimited possibilities. Increasing self-esteem is one way to develop your abilities to the fullest.

8. Self-esteem test - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today

My self-assessment test consists of a few simple questions that you only need to answer "YES" or "NO". When you do this, count the number of positive and negative responses.

1. Do you often scold yourself for mistakes (yes / no);
2. Do you like to gossip with your girlfriends (friends) and discuss common acquaintances (yes/no);
3. You do not have clear goals and you do not plan your life (yes / no);
4. You are not involved in physical education and sports (yes / no);
5. Do you like to worry about trifles (yes / no);
6. Once in an unfamiliar company, you prefer to remain "in the shadows" (yes / no);
7. When meeting with the opposite sex, you cannot keep up the conversation (yes / no);
8. When you are criticized, does it make you depressed (yes/no);
9. You like to criticize people and often envy other people's success (yes / no);
10. It is easy to offend you with a careless word (yes / no).

The key to the self-assessment test:

Answers "Yes" from 1 to 3: congratulations, you have normal self-esteem.

Answers "Yes" - more than 3: you underestimated self esteem, work on it.

9. Conclusion

Now you know that believing in yourself, not being afraid of criticism and adequately assessing your own talents is quite possible and not at all difficult. The main thing is a deep desire to change and the ability to take the first step in the right direction!

Realizing that you need this, you can literally change your life, achieve recognition, increase your earnings, and possibly even.

Good luck and love yourself!

How to make money for a student on the Internet - 7 sure ways + a story from the life of a simple 14-year-old schoolgirl who earns 10,000 rubles / month. on writing texts