Any conversation starts with choosing a topic. In its turn, choice of conversation topic depends on many factors: on the occasion for which people gathered, on the cultural level of the interlocutors, on the commonality of their interests. The topic of conversation, if possible, should be interesting for all participants. Among unfamiliar people, you can start a conversation about a movie, a play, a concert, an exhibition, a book you have read, or the latest scientific achievements. Usually everyone is also attracted by political events. However, in the conditions of “general politicization”, beware that the conversation on this topic does not turn into heated political battles. When choosing a topic, you need to take into account the person you are talking to, the place where you are, the mood of those around you.
The one who admires the sunset is not told about his work plans, but the one who discusses the work plan is not told about his party yesterday. They do not complain in society or in the presence of a third person about their heart affairs or domestic quarrels, as this can put the interlocutor in an awkward position.
It is impolite to talk about a topic in which one of those present cannot take part. A tactful interlocutor conducts a conversation with all those present, without giving anyone a clear preference.
Society does not tell scary stories and generally avoids anything that can evoke painful memories or dark moods.
In the patient's room they do not talk about death, they do not tell the patient that he looks bad, on the contrary, they try to cheer him up.
On the road, especially on the plane, they do not talk about air disasters, in the car - about car accidents.
At the table, do not talk about things that can spoil the appetite or enjoyment of food. Food on the table is not criticized or viewed with disapproval.
Conversation rules. The owner of the house or table should quietly direct the conversation, trying to start a general conversation and drawing shy guests into it. It's best to say less. The owner ensures that the conversation is conducted within the bounds of decency. A joke or an anecdote, said by the way, is quite appropriate, but subject to good taste, wit and ability to tell. The company does not allow vulgarity, regardless of the form in which they are presented.
During the conversation, do not show excessive curiosity. It is impolite to persistently penetrate other people's intimate affairs. This, as already mentioned, is tactless. Therefore, for example, it is not customary to ask about the age of a woman. Even more indecent to make fun of her unwillingness to talk about it.
You can only talk about others in a correct tone. Everyone should feel for himself where just interest in a person ends and where gossip begins, or even worse, slander. An ironic smile, a meaningful look, an ambiguous remark often discredit a person more than outright abuse.
The ability to listen to the interlocutor, as already mentioned, is an indispensable requirement of speech etiquette. This, of course, does not mean that one should sit silently. But it's tactless to interrupt another. Therefore, no matter how bored you are, you must be patient in order to listen to the end of the thought or story of another. When talking together, you also need to be able to listen. It happens that you have to be silent when you feel that your words can inflame passions. Do not start a heated argument in defense of your opinion. Such disputes spoil the mood of those present.
The youth should avoid arguing with the elders. Even when the elder is really wrong, and the young one has not been able to convince him that he is right, it is more correct to stop the argument, to transfer the conversation to another topic. It is generally better for young people to wait until the elders draw them into the conversation. In turn, the elders should give the young people the opportunity to speak, not interrupt them.
A person who has the gift of wit should use it tactfully, without ridiculing others, without making fun of them. Don't go out of your way on purpose just to be funny.
In relation to the self-confident "know-it-all", a well-mannered person behaves modestly and calmly, pretending not to notice his oversights. If it is necessary to correct the speaker, they try to do it delicately, without offending him, resorting to expressions like: “I'm sorry, weren't you mistaken?”. Everyone can make a mistake. But one who has noticed the error of another should not speak in an instructive tone.
It is impolite to correct the narrator with rude phrases like: “not true”, “you don’t understand anything about this”, “it’s clear as daylight, and every child knows”, etc. The same thought can be expressed politely, without offending the other, for example: “sorry, but I don’t agree with you”, “it seems to me that you are wrong ...”, “I have a different opinion ...”, etc.
If everyone speaks the same language, it is impolite to speak another language to anyone. If there is a person in the audience who does not speak the local language, they try to translate the conversation for him.
It is also impolite to separate from society in order to organize a separate "club". The company does not whisper, it is perceived as an insult. If you need to say something important, quietly retire.
When talking with others, do not engage in extraneous things: do not read, do not talk to a neighbor, do not play with any object, do not examine the ceiling, do not look dreamily out the window or wandering past the interlocutor. Such behavior is insulting. You need to be attentive to the interlocutor, look into his eyes, but not defiantly, but calmly and kindly.
An educated person does not color his speech with strong expressions, does not scold, does not gossip, does not interrupt others.
Do not chatter, but do not drawl; Don't mumble under your breath, but don't shout either. Do not push your partner with your elbow when talking, do not pat him on the shoulder, do not touch his buttons and sleeves, do not brush dust off his clothes. Don't gesticulate, don't spit. Loud, attention-grabbing laughter is indecent.
Thus, high a culture of speech, compliance with the rules speech behavior and speech etiquette designed to help us succeed in communicating and understanding with other people. But this communication, as a rule, takes place under certain conditions, which can be conditionally divided into three groups: a) communication in a narrow circle - in the family, alone with a friend or loved one; b) formal official communication at the level of business contacts - at work or study, in various institutions; c) communication at an informal level - home holidays, visiting and receiving guests. All these types of communication have their own rules, which in some ways coincide, in some ways they differ. But if the etiquette of one-on-one communication is, as a rule, unwritten and is dictated mainly by one’s own tact and intuition, if the etiquette of official relations is determined by charters, internal regulations and service instructions, then the etiquette of informal “events” has its own differences which we have to consider. So:
We are visiting, visiting us...
Reception at home or stay away friends have their own rules that you need to know and, if possible, follow. Visiting guests is a cross between a formal and informal event. On the one hand - the solemnity and "publicity" of the situation, on the other - a narrower, more familiar, circle of friends. This is the reason for the specific features of behavior at a party and receiving guests. We give here the rules for organizing and holding "adult" receptions and visits, bearing in mind that young people need to know these rules now and follow some of them.
Invite guests for a large reception should be in advance: 10 days in advance or a week in advance. In any case, you should name the exact time and you can name the reason: "On the occasion of the first day of spring", or: "To meet the old New Year." If we invite guests to a birthday party, we do not name the reason - it is assumed that the guests will guess. But you can clarify: "The culprit is Alya." Just “for coffee” you can invite three days in advance and even the day before. As a rule, guests are invited in the afternoon, more often for dinner. Sunday dinners are rare, usually relatives are invited to them.
You can invite guests by phone, in writing or in person. We should not invite at the same time people whom we know that they are unpleasant to each other. You should not invite a person a third time if he has not accepted your invitation twice.
Greets guests usually the host, who helps those who come to undress and leads them into the room. The hostess, leaving the kitchen to greet the guests, takes off her apron. If she was already sitting, then she gets up to meet the guests. When kissing a hello, remember that leaving lipstick on someone else's cheek is by no means a sign of good taste. The hosts greet guests not in home clothes, but in more elegant ones, in shoes, and not in slippers.
It is even more inconvenient to offer slippers to guests. This is contrary to hospitality and speaks of bad taste. People usually come to visit smartly dressed, they want to look beautiful, and slippers can spoil both the look and the mood. Guests in slippers involuntarily begin to talk about the price of potatoes or interruptions in hot water.
How long should wait for late guests?
If they are the only ones invited, then before they arrive. Guests can be late even for two hours, which does not give the hosts the right to leave the house. If the preliminary agreement was not exact, but conjectural (“we'll look”), then after an hour and a half you can consider yourself free from the obligation to wait.
Responsibilities of the owners In addition to the traditional treats, many other things are included. Here are some rules about what hosts should and shouldn't do.
The hostess should not be in the kitchen all the time. Treats should be taken care of in advance so that with the arrival of guests you can sit with everyone at the table. After dinner, the hostess should be with the guests, leaving the washing of dishes "for later."
It is absolutely unacceptable to force guests to drink. This is bad tone. The host takes care that the guests do not have empty glasses, but the guest empties them at the pace he wishes. Do not add to a glass in which alcohol remains.
It is absolutely unacceptable to criticize the dishes that the wife has prepared (which some husbands sometimes do). Even if something failed, the husband should not emphasize this, only the hostess herself can self-critically note that the roast is harsh or the cake is not baked.
Saying goodbye to guests the owners go out into the hallway. If it is late, the host should make sure that all the women are accompanied. The men should help the ladies get dressed and, if possible, escort them home. When some of the guests have already left, the rest should not discuss the departed. People rightly may think that the same fate awaits them.
One of the problems of "going to visit" - no longer for the hosts, but for guests - is selection and presentation of gifts and souvenirs.
When choosing a gift, you should always clearly understand who it is intended for, since gifts to officials, relatives, friends or acquaintances have their own specifics.
Remember, only friends and close relatives can give personal items. A good gift can be perfumes, cosmetics, leather goods, beautiful dishes. It is appropriate to give friends a box of chocolates (it is not customary to give loose candies), cognac, champagne.
Never give a watch to anyone - both in the West and in the East, this is a bad omen. But well-published books and albums are considered a wonderful gift.
Flowers are always a universal gift for women. Unlike other gifts, flowers are given after removing the packaging (the exception is decorative cellophane packaging). Flowers can be given for any occasion, but it should be done at the right time. For example, it is inconvenient to come with a bouquet to a crowded dinner or dinner party. A woman can give flowers to a woman or an elderly man, but to a young man only if he is seriously ill.
And try not to forget what you gave before, so as not to present the same thing again (except, of course, flowers).
Conversation is a way of interpersonal communication. This is a participant-led, informal, unprepared interaction, a consistent interchange of thoughts, feelings of two or more people. This definition highlights several key features:
- The conversation is directed by the participants, who themselves determine who will speak, what is the topic, the order and duration of the speeches.
- A conversation involves interaction, so at least two people are talking and listening.
- The conversation involves impromptu, i.e. the participants did not memorize what they were going to talk about.
- The conversation is organized in time and has a beginning, middle and end.
If people are satisfied with the conversation, they will be happy to continue the conversation next time. If the result of the conversation was unsatisfactory, then people tend to avoid each other and not waste time and energy on subsequent attempts to develop relationships. There are two types of conversations:
1. casual conversations in which topics are discussed spontaneously;
2. businesslike discussion of the problem, characterized by the agreement of the participants to discuss and solve specific problems or plan possible courses of action.
A business conversation can be: a) standardized (precisely formulated questions are asked to all respondents); b) non-standardized (questions are asked in free form).
Options for developing a dialogue in a conversation:
1. questioning one participant by another in order to obtain information;
2. communication of certain information to another partner;
3. attentive listening to the partner.
Interview technique:
a. to talk to a partner, set him up on the topic and problem of the conversation;
b. stimulate the beginning of the partner's statements;
in. stimulate the development of statements;
clarify and evaluate incoming information.
Conversation technique:
1. form an attitude to perception;
2. intrigue (topic, novelty, position);
3. Consistently state the essence of the information.
Listening technique in conversation:
1st type. Listening as understanding of meaning:
a. mobilization of attention;
b. clarification of the content;
in. paraphrase.
2nd type. The technique of listening as empathy:
a. understand the emotional state;
b. penetrate into the causes that caused this state;
in. put yourself in the place of a partner;
d. assess the situation from the perspective of a partner.
When analyzing a conversation, pay attention to:
1. emotional impression of the conversation
2. communication methods of the interlocutor used in the course of the conversation;
3. features of the interlocutor's behavior: facial expressions, gestures, intonation of speech, reservations, etc.
4. questions to which the interlocutor answered most actively;
5. the nature of the end of the conversation;
6. Tasks solved as a result of the conversation.
The effectiveness of the conversation. Although our conversations seem random, they are actually based on rules—unwritten laws that determine what behavior is required, preferred, or forbidden in a particular context. Four features of rules shape the behavior of participants: rules allow choice, prescribe, derive from context, and determine appropriate behavior.
Effective conversations are based on the principle of cooperation, which assumes that a conversation is effective when the participants come together to achieve the goals of the conversation and the conversation is enjoyable for each of them. The principle of cooperation, in turn, is characterized by six rules: quantity, quality, appropriateness, good manners, morality and courtesy.
A conversationalist demonstrates skills in providing accurate information (including citing sources), maintains a balance between speaking and listening time (by taking turns in conversation), maintains conversation sequence, demonstrates courtesy (using negative and positive prestige-saving strategies), and does not violate ethical principles. norms.
The success of a business conversation depends on:
a) on the degree of its preparedness (the presence of a goal, a conversation plan, taking into account age and individual characteristics and conditions);
b) from the sincerity of the answers given (the presence of trust, tact, the correctness of the questions).
In the course of a business conversation, when there is a dialogue between partners, it is necessary to remember the dual nature of the communication process (exchange of information, i.e. its sending and receiving). It is necessary to participate in it cooperatively, carefully listening to the partner, analyzing and comparing his words with his own experience. In general, the ability to listen is a criterion for the sociability of a person. Studies have shown that no more than 10% of people are able to listen to the interlocutor. It is generally accepted that when establishing contact, the main role is given to the speaker, but the analysis of communication shows that the listener is far from the last link in this goal.
In the situation of a business conversation, listeners have almost the same disadvantages as when listening to a public speech. Meanwhile, one of the goals of communication is to learn as much as possible about your interlocutor: to understand his psychology and train of thought, to assess his business opportunities, to delve into the subtext. This goal can be achieved only by being an attentive and active listener. Such listening skills can be developed by observing the following rules for effective listening:
1. Tune in to the topic of conversation, feel the inner interest.
2. Sit comfortably, but do not relax, because. Relaxation has a negative effect on the brain, it interferes with attentive listening, the correct posture helps to concentrate.
3. During a conversation, do not look at foreign objects - this distracts, unnerves the interlocutor. It is noted that women are more susceptible to feedback than men, so when listening to a woman, look into her eyes more often.
4. Listen with interest - this will help you create an atmosphere of mutual sympathy and respect between you and the interlocutor.
5. Do not interrupt your partner in a conversation, give him the opportunity to express his thoughts to the end.
6. Listening, highlight the main thoughts of the speaker and try to understand them correctly.
7. Quickly compare the received information with your own and immediately mentally return to the main content of the conversation.
8. During pauses in the conversation, try to mentally summarize what you heard two or three times.
9. In the course of the conversation, try to predict what will be said next. This is a good method of remembering the main points of a conversation.
10. Do not rush to evaluate the results of the conversation. Listen.
Lecture Search
Ticket 8
Rules for listening and speaking
Inclinations, abilities, giftedness, talent, genius: characteristics
Pedagogical task
Listening skills are formed from early childhood. One child can listen for a long time when they are told or read fairy tales, while it is difficult for another to sit out even five minutes. Of course, this depends on the type of nervous system of the child, the degree of its activity, etc. However, the ability to listen must be taught to the child from infancy. Listening is important in everyday life. It is one of the criteria for the sociability of a person. In the course of special studies, it was found that on average a person spends 29.5% of the time listening, 21.5% speaking, and 10% writing.
Hearing - the process of directed perception of auditory and visual stimuli and attribution of meaning to them. The process of active listening involves concentration, understanding, memorization, evaluation and response.
Concentration - this is a perceptual process of choosing and focusing on specific stimuli from the whole set of reaching our senses, highlighting the main “figure from the background”.
Understanding - this is an accurate decoding of incoming information by assigning the correct meaning to it, that is, understanding it in the same conceptual categories. Everyone hears what they understand.
memorization is the ability to store information and reproduce it when needed. Memorization plays an important role in retaining the content of what is heard. To improve the memorization process, it is important to use techniques such as repetition, mnemonics, and notes.
Increase the efficiency of attention:
prepared to listen;
completely switching from the role of the speaker to the role of the listener;
listening to the end before answering;
adjusting our attention to the goals of listening in a particular situation.
Analysis or critical listening is the process of determining how truthful and reliable the information heard is.
You listen critically when:
wondering if the conclusion is backed up by solid facts;
Whether the connection between the conclusion and the evidence is justified;
Is there any information known to you that would reduce the logic of the conclusion.
Responding involves an adequate response of the listener at the verbal and non-verbal levels.
Most people are characterized by the following main disadvantages of traditional listening:
thoughtless perception when speech is the background of activity;
fragmentary perception, when only separate parts of sounding speech are interpreted;
· inability to analyze the content of the message, to establish a connection between it and the facts of reality.
The effectiveness of the hearing process depends on the following factors:
Objective factors:
Noise and interference
the acoustic characteristics of the room;
· microclimate in the room (temperature, humidity, etc.).
Subjective factors:
gender of the listener (it is believed that men are more attentive listeners);
Human temperament (emotionally stable people - sanguine, phlegmatic - are more attentive than choleric and melancholic);
intellectual abilities.
Effective listening requires a person to have four basic mental abilities:
hearing ability;
· attentiveness;
the ability to understand;
The ability to remember.
Ø Therefore, the development of listening skills should be based on the development of these abilities.
Types of listening:
Depending on our interlocutor and the information we receive from him, we use different types of listening:
active,
a passive,
Empathic listening.
Active listening - implies an interested attitude towards the interlocutor, clarifying questions like: “Did I understand you correctly that ...?” (with a question mark at the end of the phrase), adequate feedback. (Active listening is used when exchanging information, conducting business negotiations, receiving instructions, etc.)
Passive listening involves emotional non-involvement in communication, clarifying questions (so that negative emotions are responded to), “uh-huh-reactions” (minimal verbal reactions), awareness of one’s own “I-listenings” (one’s thoughts, experiences).
Empathic listening - to share the emotional experiences of the interlocutor, which involves:
the mood for listening;
Creation of a trusting atmosphere;
Reflection of experiences, feelings behind the statements of the interlocutor;
maintaining a pause necessary for a person in order for him to understand his experiences.
· When we show empathy, we try to understand or experience what the other person understands or experiences.
There are three types of empathy:
· empathic response
Empathic response - it is the experience of an emotional reaction similar to the actual or expected manifestations of another person's emotions.
· acceptance of perspectives
Taking Perspective - imagining oneself in the place of another is the most common form of empathy.
· sympathetic response
Sympathetic response - a feeling of caring, complicity, compassion directed at another person because of his situation.
To effectively show empathy to the interlocutor, you must:
· Be imbued with respect for the person, focusing on what he says.
· Focus on understanding verbal and non-verbal cues.
Use behavioral signals to determine the emotional state of a person.
Try to experience the same feelings with the person; or imagine how you would feel in similar circumstances, or experience feelings of care, compassion for this person.
· React according to your feelings.
The ability to listen is the most important condition not only for productive communication, but also for the learning process. To acquire knowledge, it is necessary to have the skills of listening to public speaking. When listening to a speech, you need to more clearly define for yourself the purpose for which you will listen. Next, you need to organize your work in the process of hearing in accordance with the principles of its effectiveness.
The principles of effective listening are based on the willingness and desire to listen. The listener's attitude can be influenced by his knowledge and experience on the subject under discussion.
As an aid to improve listening skills, we can name the following:
the ability to concentrate;
Ability to analyze content
the ability to listen critically;
The ability to outline.
Let's take a look at these skills.
1. Ability to concentrate.
The ability to concentrate is the main condition for effective listening. It involves a serious attitude to listening, a desire to work on improving skills and constant attention to the speaker. Concentration is not a passive, but an active creative process that requires great effort. By concentrating one prepares oneself for listening. If you spend your time thinking about other things, daydreaming, or solving personal problems, concentration becomes impossible. Irregular listening prevents the understanding of the idea of speech. Try to ignore distractions.
2. Ability to analyze content.
Knowledge of the process of creating and composing speech can help with the development of listening skills. From the very beginning, it is important to determine the purpose of the speaker's speech, to highlight the main topic, concepts. It is necessary to note how the evidence is given, the forms of illustration: examples, analogy, statistics, citations, etc. It is useful to record how the speaker concludes by summarizing his ideas and relating them to the main theme.
3. Ability to listen critically.
Critical listening involves linking what the speaker says with their own experience, summarizing and systematizing what they heard, analyzing and evaluating. Analyzing the ideas of the speaker, it is necessary to return to the starting point of the speech, check the adequacy of the evidence, the weight of the argument.
4. Ability to take notes.
If you are listening to a teaching lecture for the purpose of obtaining facts, to analyze and evaluate the content, then it is necessary to take notes. Recording helps to concentrate while listening, provides material for review and the opportunity to return to what you heard. The development of note-taking skills is facilitated by the observance of the principles of rationality. The main rule that is recommended to follow when taking notes is as follows: it is more important to understand the logic of the presentation as a whole than to write down incoherent, fragmentary fragments. The abstract of an oral presentation (lecture) should be an extended plan, reflecting its structure and main provisions, containing specific examples and citations.
When taking notes on an oral presentation, it is recommended to adhere to the following general principles:
· Use an informal notation system, the simpler the better, and a simplified form of text structuring that includes short paragraphs, sentences, parts of sentences, single words. The entries should be understandable to you.
· Take short notes. Record only outstanding moments and factual material. Mark how the speaker makes transitions, how he repeats his ideas, summarizes.
Use abbreviations and symbols. Shorthand and cursive help well. If you do not own them, develop your own system. Use symbols for sentence parts, letters for abbreviations. Try to keep your recording time to a minimum.
· Take legible notes. Make sure they are understandable to you. Then, if you later want to read them, you can decipher them by writing them down in detail.
· Tag important ideas. Underline or label important thoughts. When viewing records, such notes will help you quickly refresh the content of what you have written, find the right places, etc.
· Review your records periodically.
v In general, in order to learn how to listen effectively, it is necessary to note the useful things that can be learned for yourself when listening to an oral presentation, as well as to have a desire to listen, that is, to set yourself up for the perception of information. Listen with interest - this will help create an atmosphere of mutual sympathy and respect between you and the interlocutor.
Conducting a conversation.
Conversation - a way of interpersonal communication. This is a participant-directed, informal, unprepared interaction, a consistent interchange of thoughts, feelings of two or more people.
This definition highlights several key features:
· The conversation is directed by the participants, who themselves determine who will speak, what is the topic, order and duration of the speeches.
· Conversation involves interaction, so at least two people are talking and listening.
· The conversation involves impromptu, that is, the participants have not learned by heart what they will talk about.
· The conversation is organized in time and has a beginning, middle and end.
There are two types of conversations:
informal conversations in which topics are discussed spontaneously;
business discussion of problems, characterized by the agreement of the participants to discuss and solve specific problems or plan possible courses of action.
Business conversation can be:
standardized (precisely formulated questions are asked to all respondents).
non-standardized (questions are asked in free form).
Options for developing a dialogue in a conversation:
· questioning one participant to another in order to obtain information;
message of a certain information another partner;
attentive hearing partner.
Interview technique:
to talk to a partner, set him up on the topic and problem of the conversation;
stimulate the beginning of the partner's utterance;
stimulate the development of the statement;
clarify and evaluate incoming information.
Conversation technique:
form a mindset;
intrigue (by topic, novelty, position);
present information in a coherent manner.
Listening technique in conversation:
1st type. Listening as understanding of meaning:
mobilization of attention
clarification of the content;
paraphrase.
2nd type. Listening technique as empathy:
Understand the emotional state
penetrate into the causes that caused this state;
put yourself in the place of a partner;
Assess the situation from a partner's point of view.
When analyzing a conversation, pay attention to:
the emotional impact of the conversation;
Techniques of encouraging the interlocutor used in the course of the conversation;
Features of the behavior of the interlocutor: facial expressions, gestures, intonation of speech, reservations, etc .;
Questions to which the interlocutor responded most actively;
The nature of the end of the conversation;
Problems solved as a result of the conversation.
Four Features of Conversation Rules Shape Participant Behavior: Rules are selective, prescriptive, derived from context, and determine appropriate behavior. Effective conversations are based on the principle of cooperation, which assumes that a conversation is effective when the participants come together to achieve the goals of the conversation and the conversation is enjoyable for each of them. The principle of cooperation, in turn, is characterized by six rules: quantity, quality, appropriateness, good manners, morality and courtesy. A conversationalist demonstrates skills in presenting accurate information, maintains a balance between speaking and listening time (taking turns in conversation), maintains consistency in conversation, demonstrates courtesy, and does not violate ethical standards.
The success of a business conversation depends on:
On the degree of its preparedness (the presence of a goal, a conversation plan, taking into account age and individual characteristics and conditions);
From the sincerity of the answers given (the presence of trust, tact, the correctness of the questions).
v In the course of a business conversation, when there is a dialogue between partners, it is necessary to remember the dual nature of the communication process (the exchange of information, that is, its sending and receiving). It is necessary to participate in it cooperatively, carefully listening to the partner, analyzing and comparing his words with his own experience.
v One of the goals of communication is to learn as much as possible about your interlocutor: to understand his psychology and train of thought, to assess his business opportunities, to delve into the subtext. This goal can be achieved only by being an attentive and active listener.
Such listening skills can be developed by observing the following rules for effective listening:
· Tune in to the topic of conversation, feel the inner interest.
· Sit comfortably, but do not relax, as relaxation has a negative effect on the brain, it interferes with attentive listening, the correct posture helps to concentrate.
· During the conversation, do not look at foreign objects - it distracts, unnerves the interlocutor. It is noted that women are more susceptible to feedback than men, therefore, when listening to a woman, look into her eyes more often.
Listen with interest - this will help create an atmosphere of mutual sympathy and respect between you and the interlocutor.
· Do not interrupt the partner in the conversation, give him the opportunity to express his thoughts to the end.
Listening, highlight the main thoughts of the speaker and try to understand them correctly.
Quickly compare the received information with your own and immediately mentally return to the main content of the conversation.
During pauses in the conversation, try to mentally summarize what you heard two or three times.
In the course of the conversation, try to predict what will be said next. This is a good method of remembering the main points of a conversation.
· Do not rush to evaluate the results of the conversation. Listen.
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Speech etiquette
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All people are different, but this does not prevent them from communicating and understanding each other. It often happens that your point of view on something does not coincide with the interlocutor. This contradiction can develop into an argument or a discussion. As you enter into the discussion, you need to clarify…
Ethics of business communication: essence, content, principles
c) Business conversation and negotiation technology
The first meeting with the interlocutor (interlocutors) usually begins with a mutual introduction, introduction of their delegations, a story about their organizations, after which they move on to the main topic of conversation ...
Ethics of business conversation
3.
Basic rules of business conversation
The optimal scenario of a business conversation, as a rule, includes the following stages Baeva O.E. Oratory and business communication. Minsk: Nauka, 2001. S. 144…
business negotiation etiquette
Etiquette of business conversation (negotiations)
Currently, more and more often we have to deal with conflict situations in production, in the business sphere, in everyday life, and at a higher level - in government institutions, international relations ...
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Preparing and starting a business conversation
In practice, many production issues require collective discussion and resolution. The generally accepted forms of business communication in the work of managers, lawyers, and relayers are business conversations, meetings, meetings, negotiations, conferences, various business meetings.
The development of market relations in our country, the intensification observed at all levels of entrepreneurial communication as a result of evolution in the field of informatics, give rise to the need for a quick and unhindered dissemination of business information, and therefore the organization and conduct of innovative forms of business communication, such as presentations, round tables ", press conferences, shareholder meetings, briefings, exhibitions and new product fairs.
In the traditional genres of business communication (public speeches, interviews, commentaries, consultations), in the new conditions, communicative strategies of firms or business partners are implemented, which require not only the ability to present themselves, but also the ability to promote the company's philosophy, organizational values, corporate culture, as well as knowledge of consumer market, financial market, contact audiences, power structures, etc. The multi-purpose nature of these genres requires their own communication strategies, technologies, procedures and operations.
Disputes, discussions, polemics, debates, debates can be considered specific genres of business communication, which are often components of such forms of business communication as meetings, meetings and conferences, and may also have independent significance.
Consider the features of each form of business communication, using the following criteria:
- the purpose of the event (why?);
— contingent of participants (who?, with whom?, for whom?);
— regulation (how long?);
— communicative means of realization of intentions (how?);
— organization of the spatial environment (where?);
- the expected result (what?, what is the "output"?).
business conversation
The concept, types, functions and goals of business conversations
Almost all cases, all labor actions of human society, all actions of human interaction begin, are carried out and end with the help of business conversations that are different in form, content and functions.
Business conversation rules
Business conversations are associated with communication at work, with the performance of official duties, with the solution of production problems, organizational, commercial problems, etc.
Under business conversation is understood as interpersonal speech communication, involving the exchange of views, points of view, opinions, information, aimed at solving a particular problem.
To main functions any business conversation can include the following:
— the beginning of innovative activities and processes;
Control and coordination of already started events, actions;
- information exchange;
- mutual communication of employees of one organization, interpersonal and business contacts;
— maintaining business contacts with partners in the external environment;
- search, promotion and operational development of new ideas and designs;
— stimulating the movement of human thought in new directions.
The nature of the business conversation, the features of its course, the topics of the issues discussed are determined by the professional and business interests of its participants, as well as the type of relationship between the interlocutors (subordination "vertically" - "top-down", "bottom-up" and partner "horizontally").
By the nature of the situation , in which certain issues are discussed, business conversations are official and unofficial , i.e.
with or without compliance with certain rules and formalities. Business conversations can be held in the office, at the workplace, in the dining room, restaurant, during a walk, a friendly feast, etc.
The main purpose of the conversation- exchange of information, however, depending on the subject content, a multi-purpose nature of conversations is possible. By the nature of the issues under discussion The following types of business conversations are considered the most common: personnel (hiring, dismissal from work, promotion); disciplinary, related to violation of labor discipline, evasion of official duties, etc.; organizational, determining the technology for completing the task; creative, devoted to the development of the concept of a particular project, task, etc. Special attention should be paid to business conversations during the reception of visitors.
In each of these types of conversations, the goals will be related directly to the subject of the conversation. So, for example, a hiring interview is carried out in order to diagnose the professional and personal potential of a candidate for a position in order to make a decision on hiring, and the purpose of a conversation "on the carpet" is to identify the causes of a violation of discipline or poor performance of work and change the motivation of the employee's behavior. The purpose of the “task assignment” conversation is not only to inform the employee, but also to instruct, and informal conversations, as a rule, involve the so-called “probing” of the situation in order to know what is happening, how relations develop in the team, what are the “painful” points", which the manager must be aware of in order to get involved in solving problems in time.
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To do this, you should start with preparation, because any form of speech activity implies certain goals, focused on certain moments.
Rules for listening and speaking.
Therefore, before embarking on an active exchange of information, carefully prepare, well, and only then proceed.
Initially, you need to put yourself in such a way that there is not the slightest doubt about your intentions, for this you should clearly hold your position and speak confidently, without making long pauses.
Show your interlocutor that you are very interested in him, so it is important for you to find common goals and moments in the work area with him.
You may notice that your interlocutor is experiencing some discomfort associated precisely with excitement, which is very common these days. In principle, this is normal, responsibility and all that, so do not cut off your shoulder, but try to support him and help get out of this situation with the help of leading questions. For a woman, by the way, even a compliment can serve as a good incentive to open up and get rid of excitement.
If you see that a person has good intellectual knowledge and does not need unnecessary questions regarding his hobbies and experience, then in order to have a business conversation, you can immediately get down to business and talk about current work.
Use the well-known technique of closed and open questions, the first of which are focused on one-word answers, in the spirit of "yes" and "no", and the second require an exceptionally complete reasoned answer.
The method of mirror questions also justifies itself. They perfectly help the interlocutors to understand each other and clarify some points.
If you feel that the interlocutor does not really understand you, then it's time to focus on control questions and put an end to this or that topic.
Very often, some professionals in their field follow the path of the so-called "provocative" questions, which are aimed precisely at a response with the expression of personal assumptions. This method, of course, confuses the interlocutors, but they do not bother people who know their business.
Finally, in order to successfully conduct a business conversation, counter questions are always welcome, which remove unnecessary idle talk and allow you to understand each other as soon as possible.
Organization of business conversations
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A business conversation is a form of information exchange between two or more persons in a "close circle". It differs from meetings and assemblies not only in the number of participants, but also in its freer nature, both in terms of issues and consequences: official decisions are not always made based on the results of conversations, but at the same time, the necessary ground is created for them (participants receive information for reflection, which may or may not be followed by appropriate action).
Conversations are a necessary component of such management procedures as hiring or dismissal of employees; certification of employees; reception of visitors; consultation; business negotiations; informal meetings, etc.
By the nature of the conversation can be official and informal, the so-called "working";
by orientation - targeted (pursuing specific tasks) and free (for example, familiarization);
regulated, that is, carried out according to certain rules and in a prescribed sequence (questionnaires) and unregulated, unsystematic (friendly conversation).
Unlike other forms of information exchange, conversations are characterized by a high degree of closeness of contacts, immediacy of communication, and obligatory feedback. As a result, conversations create favorable conditions for the development of informal, personal relationships.
The business conversation cycle consists of three stages: preparatory, main and final. Let's consider them in more detail.
Preparing a conversation begins with the definition of the goal that must be achieved with its help, and, accordingly, the range of issues discussed in connection with this, taking into account the interests of the partner.
The second step at this stage (if necessary) is to draw up a preliminary portrait of a partner based on data about his official position, political views, attitude towards others, social activities and merits, favorite and forbidden topics for conversation. Such information is usually obtained from acquaintances, partners, clients, journalists, etc. At the same time, it must be treated with caution, since it is influenced by a number of subjective circumstances, in particular: the degree of acquaintance with the person in question; independence or dependence on him; bias or impartiality towards him;
the degree of development of the characterizing those qualities that he speaks of (for everyone measures others, first of all, focusing on himself); the situation in which these qualities were observed.
The third step will be to develop a conversation strategy and plan, as well as various tactical “preparations” that may be needed along the way.
The plan of the conversation includes a scheme for presenting the material, which largely determines its structure; moreover, this scheme can be used openly. However, how closely to follow it is determined based on the significance of the conversation, the number of participants, the amount of time, as well as the experience of conducting such events.
In addition to the plan, at the preparatory stage, a preliminary text of the speech is drawn up, consisting of a set of key concepts and words, and its individual fragments are developed in detail, mastered, including the full wording of business proposals to be made to partners.
The fourth step in the preparatory stage of the conversation may be to rehearse it, first alone, and then, perhaps, with by whom- any of my colleagues. The rehearsal is preceded by comprehension of the material, remembering the sequence of its presentation and individual fragments of the text, so that they can be freely operated "and, if necessary, accurately reproduced from memory (especially this is concerns figures and citations).
The fifth step of the preparatory stage of the conversation is to determine the time and place of its conduct; at the same time, it is necessary to take into account their possible influence on its result (at home, how they say native walls help). And all this must be agreed with partners.
If the participants in the conversation are employees of the same organization, then the place of the conversation depends only on where it is easier to establish contacts. It can be a manager's office, a subordinate's workplace, a special meeting room, as well as an off-duty environment, up to home. Conversations with strangers are held either in the office of the person who invited them, or in a special room for guests.
In any case, it is desirable that the conversation room be bright, with warm-colored walls. Lighting is good to have adjustable, which can be achieved through the use of several types of lamps (at the end of the day, for example, bright lighting is not recommended). The conversation is best done sitting in armchairs at small tables. Large tables separate rather than bring partners together, especially when placed against each other, and it is impossible to take a relaxed posture on a chair. With an unfavorable development of the conversation, an uncomfortable environment can lead all participants into an aggressive state. Armchairs (or chairs) should be of the same height, which emphasizes the equality of the sides.
Conversation Rules for Children
Competitors must have free access to pencils, note paper, and an ashtray (but smoking is allowed only with the consent of all those present). In general, the whole situation should set up in a businesslike way.
The second stage of the cycle is the conversation itself- begins with a greeting and understanding of the first impressions of the partners, including their mood, which largely determines the result. The foundations for the perception of partners, as already shown, are laid at the preliminary stage and are generally formed after the first contact under the influence of such circumstances as the "halo effect" (a holistic assessment of a person as pleasant or unpleasant), stereotypes, mood at the time of the meeting, the dominant need , protective mechanisms, etc.
At the same time, it should be borne in mind that most people, which is understandable, try to hide their “I” in one way or another. Most often, as studies show, this is done by using various kinds of “masks”.
Some become “turtles”, hiding their inner world from others behind an impenetrable shell. Others are bristling "porcupines", on whose needles it is easy to prick. Still others - menacingly roaring "lions", seeking to scare everyone. Fourth - "chameleons", quickly adapting to the interlocutor and changing circumstances; the fifth turn out to be completely "colorless", so that it is impossible to identify them at all. The next step after greeting and evaluating partners is to find out the real time reserve that each participant in the conversation has in order to make the necessary adjustments to its intended course and content along the way.
After that, if the conversation is held with strangers invited in advance, coffee, tea, dry pastries can be served.
The conversation itself begins with introductory part, the volume of which can take up to 15% of the total time. Its task is to relieve psychological tension and establish contacts with interlocutors. This is achieved by creating an atmosphere of mutual understanding, showing sincere sympathy for the personality and affairs of partners, emphasizing the priority of the interests of the latter, while drawing their attention to their own. Usually the initiative here belongs to the owner or the elder in age.
After removing the psychological stress, they go directly to the conversation itself. This transition can be direct, without an introduction, and begin with a brief summary of the essence of the matter, which is mainly inherent in short-term insignificant contacts between a leader and a subordinate. It may begin with a series of problematic questions related to the topic of the conversation.
Finally, he can start from the facts and events mentioned in a conversation on a general topic that are directly or indirectly related to the issues under discussion.
In the main part of the conversation the active party is usually the initiator (with the exception of a reporting conversation with a subordinate). He tries from beginning to end to adhere to the chosen main direction leading to the intended goal. This is achieved by consistently posing questions in a predetermined order and holding your own main idea.
It is necessary to speak out and formulate questions during the conversation in clear, simple terms, while carefully listening to the meaning of the interlocutor's words and trying to understand what is behind them.
During the conversation, it is important to find out why the interlocutor perceives the situation in this way and not otherwise, therefore, he must be given the opportunity to speak out completely, making comments or asking questions at the right moments, but avoiding entering into a discussion.
After the interlocutor speaks out, he needs to demonstrate his own view of things, showing the problem from the other side. This should be done calmly, benevolently, argumentatively, without convicting him of mistakes and without insisting unconditionally on his own opinion - the more a person wants to convince another of something, the less he should assert, especially at the beginning of a conversation. The conversation must be conducted in such a way that the partner could ultimately refute his erroneous judgments himself.
At the end of the conversation, the host or initiator summarizes, shows how the information obtained in the process can be used, encourages the interlocutors to comprehend it and take further action.
If the time of the conversation was not specifically regulated (which is most often the case when receiving visitors), this is a signal to end the meeting. For slow-witted partners, a special set of courtesy pitchfork techniques has been developed to let them know that the conversation is over and the owner has other things to do ..
The third stage of the cycle conversation is its critical analysis based on the notes made, allowing you to answer the questions:
how clear the language was;
has everything been said; whether it was always possible to obtain satisfactory answers; whether the latter were inspired by a desire to please the master;
could the interlocutors be more frank;
whether they were subjected to excessive psychological pressure; how at ease, comfortable they felt;
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A business conversation is a meaningful desire of one person or a group of people through a word to arouse a desire in another person or group of people for action that will change at least one of the sides of a situation or establish new relationships between the participants in the conversation.
In the modern interpretation, business conversations mean oral contact between partners (interlocutors) who have the necessary authority from their organizations to conduct them and resolve specific problems.
The main functions of a business conversation:
1. Launch of promising activities and processes
2. Control and coordination of already started activities and processes
3. Exchange of information
4. Mutual communication of workers from the same field of activity
5. Maintaining business contacts
6. Search, promotion and operational development of working ideas and plans
7. Stimulating the movement of creative thought in new directions.
Preparing for a conversation
Includes:
1. Planning:
a preliminary analysis of the participants and the situation;
the initiative to conduct a conversation and determine its objectives;
definition of strategy and tactics;
A detailed plan for preparing for the interview.
2. Operational preparation:
collection of materials;
selection and systematization of materials;
Thinking and arranging materials;
· work plan;
development of the main part of the conversation;
start and end of a conversation.
3. Editing:
control (i.e. checking the work done);
shaping the conversation.
4. Workout:
a mental rehearsal
oral rehearsal;
rehearsal of the conversation in the form of a dialogue with the interlocutor.
Planning a conversation comes down to the following steps:
drawing up and checking the forecast of a business conversation;
Establishment of the main, promising tasks of the conversation;
search for suitable ways to solve these problems (strategy);
Analysis of external and internal opportunities for the implementation of the conversation plan;
definition and development of medium-term and short-term objectives of the conversation, their relationship and priority;
development of measures for the implementation of these tasks (development of a program of work, a plan for individual elements of the conversation), etc.
The structure of a business conversation
Consists of 5 phases:
1. Starting a conversation.
2. Transfer of information.
3. Argumentation.
4. Refutation of the arguments of the interlocutor.
5. Decision making.
In relation to any speech, any conversation, there are 10 general rules, the observance of which will make your performance, if not perfect, then at least correct:
1. Professional knowledge.
2. Clarity.
3. Reliability.
4. Constant focus.
6. Repetition.
7. The element of surprise.
8. "Saturation" of reasoning.
9. Framework for the transfer of information.
10. A certain dose of humor and even, to some extent, irony.
The following main features of live speech can be added to the listed rules:
In any business conversation, the content and technique of presentation are valuable;
should be limited to facts and details in the conversation, reasoning on the topic;
It is better to plan a conversation with various possible options;
It is sometimes necessary to repeat and draw conclusions from what has been said;
· You should address the interlocutor directly, given that personal influence in business relationships is of great importance.
Phase I. Starting a Conversation
Establishing contact with the interlocutor;
Creating a pleasant atmosphere for conversation;
· to attract attention;
Stimulation of interest in the conversation;
· "Interception" of the initiative.
Ways to start a conversation:
1. Method of stress relief - allows you to establish close contact with the interlocutor.
2. The "hook" method - allows you to briefly state the situation or problem, linking it to the content of the conversation, and use this "hook" as a starting point for the planned conversation.
3. The method of stimulating the game of imagination - involves posing at the beginning of a conversation a lot of questions on a number of problems that should be considered in it.
4. Method of direct approach - means a direct transition to the case, without speaking.
The right way to start a conversation is to:
a precise description of the purpose of the conversation;
Mutual introduction of interlocutors;
the title of the topic;
Presentation of the person conducting the conversation;
Announcement of the sequence of consideration of issues.
What you need to pay attention to when establishing personal contact with the interlocutor:
a) clear, concise and meaningful introductory phrases and explanations;
b) addressing interlocutors by name and patronymic;
c) corresponding appearance(clothing, smartness, facial expression);
d) showing respect for the personality of the interlocutor, attention to his opinions and interests;
f) asking for an answer, etc.
PhaseII. Transfer of information
The purpose of this part of the conversation is to solve the following problems:
collection of special information on the problems, requests and wishes of the interlocutor;
Identification of the motives and goals of the interlocutor;
transmission of planned information;
analysis and verification of the position of the interlocutor.
5 main groups of questions:
1. Closed questions are questions that are expected to be answered "yes" or "no". What is the purpose of these types of questions? Get reasonable arguments from the interlocutor for the expected answer from him.
2. Open-ended questions are questions that cannot be answered "yes" or "no", they require some kind of explanation (“What is your opinion on this issue?”, “Why do you consider the measures taken insufficient?”).
3. Rhetorical questions - these questions are not answered directly, because their purpose is to raise new questions and point out unresolved issues and to secure support for our position from the participants in the conversation through tacit approval (“Are we of the same opinion on this issue?”) .
4. Critical questions - keep the conversation in a well-established direction or raise a whole range of new issues. (“How do you imagine the structure and distribution…?”).
5. Questions for reflection - force the interlocutor to reflect, think carefully and comment on what was said ("Did I understand correctly your message that ...?," Do you think that ...?).
PhaseIII. Argumentation
Little things that sometimes make a difference:
1. Operate with simple, clear, precise and convincing concepts.
2. The method and pace of argumentation must correspond to the characteristics of the interlocutor's temperament.
3. Conduct arguments correctly in relation to the interlocutor, tk. this, especially with long-term contacts, will be much more profitable for you:
· always openly acknowledge the rightness of the interlocutor when he is right, even if this may have adverse consequences for you;
You can continue to operate only with those arguments that are accepted by the interlocutors;
Avoid empty phrases.
4. Adapt the arguments to the personality of your interlocutor:
direct the argument to the goals and motives of the interlocutor;
avoid simply listing facts;
Use terminology that your interlocutor understands.
5. Avoid non-business expressions and formulations that make argumentation and understanding difficult.
6. Try to present your evidence, ideas and considerations to the interlocutor as clearly as possible.
There are 12 rhetorical methods of argumentation in our arsenal for constructing an argument:
1. Fundamental method. It is a direct address to the interlocutor.
2. Method of contradiction. Based on the identification of contradictions in the argument against.
3. The method of "drawing conclusions". Based on precise reasoning that will gradually, through frequent deductions, lead you to the desired conclusion.
4. Method of comparison.
5. The “yes… but” method.
6. Method of "pieces". It consists in dividing the speech in such a way that the individual parts are clearly distinguishable: “this is for sure”, “there are different points of view about this”.
7. Boomerang method.
8. Method of ignoring.
9. Method of potentiation. The interlocutor, in accordance with his interests, shifts the focus, highlights what suits him.
10. Method of "removal". It is based on a gradual subjective change in the merits of the case.
11. Survey method. It is based on the fact that questions are asked in advance.
12. Method of visible support.
Twelve speculative methods of argumentation:
1. Technique of exaggeration.
2. Technique of anecdote.
4. Technique of discrediting the interlocutor. It is based on the rule that if I cannot refute the substance of the question, then at least the identity of the interlocutor should be questioned.
5. The isolation technique is based on “pulling out” individual phrases from the speech, isolating them and presenting them in a truncated form so that they have a meaning opposite to the original one.
The technique of changing direction is that the interlocutor does not attack your arguments, but moves on to another issue that is essentially irrelevant to the subject of discussion.
7. Technique of displacement - the interlocutor does not really go to any one, precisely defined problem, exaggerates the secondary problems taken from your speech.
8. The technique of misleading is based on the communication of confusing information, words that the interlocutor throws at you.
9. Delay technique. Its purpose is to create obstacles to the discussion or delay it.
10. Appeal technique.
Conversation rules
It is a particularly dangerous form of "crowding out" the reasoning process (the interlocutor calls for sympathy).
11. Distortion technique.
12. Technique of questions-traps. Includes 4 groups:
· repetition;
· extortion;
The alternative
counter questions.
Phase IV Refutation of the arguments of the interlocutor(neutralization of the interlocutor's remarks)
Dialogue is a true art that needs to be learned. So it was in all former times, and does not change to this day. Having mastered this skill, a person opens many new doors for himself, becoming a welcome interlocutor.
To comprehend the science of verbal communication, it is important to master several basic stages.
small talk
Learning to conduct a secular conversation does not hurt anyone. Even if the counterpart has not yet found himself in a situation where you need to speak at a “high” level. This can happen at the most unexpected moment, and the ability to interest a representative of the "high society" will be beneficial.
There is a small note.
- Speech etiquette is very important here. In places where a special culture reigns, communication on a daily level is not allowed. Future interlocutors, as a rule, introduce themselves to each other, calling themselves by their full names and indicating some facts about themselves.
- The name and patronymic are pronounced so that the interlocutors address each other during the conversation. Noticing that the person did not remember it right away, you can gently remind him.
- Words are only half of the image, actions are no less important. It is necessary to keep open, taking a relaxed posture. It is not recommended to cross your palms, scratch your nose and neck. All these gestures will tell the interlocutor about tightness and a low degree of frankness.
- The best topic for discussion is one of the facts that became known when we met. According to etiquette, something common, definitely interesting to both, is suitable. You should be careful here - controversial issues can lead to a quarrel.
During a conversation with a previously unfamiliar person, one should not raise too banal topics. It is important to try to carefully understand what interests the interlocutor pursues so that he himself can speak about them. Observing the conversation, noticing turns of speech, personal conclusions about the degree of knowledge and the number of interests - all this will help to understand the person and determine the topic for communication.
If you want to leave behind only positive emotions, you need to learn how to give pleasure to the entire conversational process. To do this, you should use a personal interesting story, somehow related to the chosen topic, telling it and getting acquainted with the prevailing opinion of the interlocutor.
The conversation should not turn into a one-sided lecture, and it is important to make parting as polite and delicate as possible.
Competent construction of sentences, beautiful formulation of one's own thoughts, fluency and clarity of speech - without this it is almost impossible to conduct a constructive, pleasant dialogue. Each of the aspects will help to increase the effectiveness of communication, for example, at work. You cannot do without these skills when organizing and holding events on your own.
Secrets of pleasant communication
Being a good conversationalist for strangers is not as difficult as it seems. You just need to remember a few rules:
- eye contact with a person during a conversation will show him the significance of the ongoing dialogue and interest in it;
- even one smile can give positive emotions and contribute to relaxation;
- maintaining a conversation: the dialogue must be continued for some time, even if the topic of conversation of one of the parties turned out to be uninteresting - do not forget to be polite;
- a raised tone is unlikely to lead to good impressions, but it’s better not to speak in a “loud whisper” either;
- using a person's name when communicating will positively affect him psychologically at a subconscious level;
- you can interrupt the interlocutor during his speech only by accident, in no case on purpose, otherwise it will leave a negative mark;
- correctly express their own opinion only after the completion of a certain phrase of the counterpart;
- it is recommended to get rid of the habit of boasting, if any, as soon as possible, because no one likes such a character trait;
- Everyone is entitled to their own opinion as long as it doesn't turn into an insult.
Simplicity is the key to pleasant communication
It happens that after a conversation with a particular person you feel uncomfortable. In order not to become one of these, it is enough to remember some things.
- The main thing is to be yourself, no matter what the circumstances are. You can not renounce your own personality, worthy of respect.
- If the interlocutor directly asks for advice on any issue, you should not answer the first phrase that comes to mind. It is better to take a little time to think about the situation and decide if there is an opportunity to help. If it is not there, let the person immediately find out about it, because in this case he will only be grateful for the attention and sincerity shown.
- By constantly putting yourself above others, you will not achieve anything good, even in reality having such superiority. It is much more pleasant to help relatives and those in need to the best of their ability, then people themselves will be drawn to you.
- There is nothing wrong with getting tired of dialogue, for example, with an annoying and unpleasant person. In this case, it is better to say this directly, so as not to be a hypocrite.
I recently overheard a conversation between two boys. One was presented with a game console for the TV, and the other visited the puppet theater with his parents.
The boys were eager to share their experiences. They kept interrupting each other and eventually quarreled. One said:
“You don't listen to me at all.
And the other replied:
- It's you who won't even let me say a word - you're cracking like a magpie!
Listen to the poem.
two magpies
Two magpies met
And they cracked right away!
I flew to the fair
Bought new things there.
scarlet boots,
With stone earrings.
And the second is about her:
- I was in the city during the day,
There she stoked the stove
And cooked buckwheat
Cha-cha-cha, cha-cha-cha!
The oven is very hot!
Two friends cracked
Forgot about each other.
Cracked very loudly
Goodbye very soon!
♦ What advice can you give boys and magpies?
One of the most important rules of any conversation is the ability to listen politely. No wonder it is said: "Speech is red by hearing."
Listen to the poem.
Conversation(joke)
Two girlfriends, fidgets,
Two green dragonflies
We had a peaceful conversation
Sitting on a branch of a vine.
Dragonfly alone said:
- I caught a midge in the morning ...
And another interrupted:
- It's cute, very cute!
Even though it's hot today
I caught a mosquito.
The duck entered the conversation:
- Allow me to interrupt you,
Time is moving towards dinner
It's time for me to catch dragonflies!
You can not interrupt not only the elders, but also their peers. This shows a disrespectful attitude towards a person!
A very unpleasant impression is made by someone who, without listening to his comrade, leaves or begins to go about his own business.
During any conversation, the tone of the interlocutors should be friendly. You need to turn to face the interlocutor, look at him, express interest. When talking, do not wave your arms and raise your voice too much.
♦ How can you show that you are interested in what the other person is talking about?
When you talk with an adult, you should address him by his first name and patronymic, listen carefully to him.
After the adult finishes his speech, you can join the conversation.
If you're walking with your mom and you meet a friend of yours along the way, you need to greet her politely and wait patiently while the adults talk about their business.
You can’t interrupt the elders and rush mom.
Conversation Rules
♦ Speak quietly, clearly, politely. Do not interrupt the interlocutor.
♦ If two people are talking and you want to talk to one of them, wait until they finish talking before starting the conversation.
♦ When talking to elders, listen carefully; questions can be asked at the end of the conversation.
♦ If you are called to the phone and the conversation is interrupted, politely apologize to the other person.
♦ While talking to the interlocutor, look at him. It is impolite to conduct a conversation, turning halfway to the interlocutor.
Listen to a fairy tale.
yellow bird
This fabulous story happened on a very ordinary day. Tanya and her grandfather walked along the alleys of the spring park, admiring the flowering chestnut trees and fragrant acacia.
Walking towards them, leaning on a stick, was an old man with a long gray beard. On his head was a straw hat.
Coming abreast of grandfather, the old man raised his hat and smiled happily, greeting him.
Grandfather was also glad to have an unexpected meeting with an old friend. After all, they had not seen each other for many years, but once studied together at the university.
- Long time no see! exclaimed the old man, embracing his grandfather and patting him lightly on the shoulders. - Who is with you? Granddaughter?
— Yes, this is my wonderful granddaughter! Grandpa answered and affectionately stroked Tanya's head.
- Well! Let's get to know you, - the old man turned to the girl. My name is Alexey Alekseevich. And what's your name, what's your name?
“Tanya,” the girl replied.
- How old are you, Tanyusha?
So, back to school soon! It's a good thing.
After talking with Tanya, the old man sat down next to his grandfather on a bench. Old friends started a leisurely conversation. Still would! They had something to remember!
Tanya waited a minute or two, and then climbed onto a bench, hugged her grandfather and whispered in his ear:
- Grandpa! Well, let's go, let's go quickly. I'm bored!
♦ Was Tanya polite? Why is it considered tactless to whisper in the ear of one person when another person is nearby?
“Do something, run, play, and we’ll talk,” grandfather asked Tanya.
The girl moved away from the bench, looked around, but did not notice anything interesting.
She again went up to her grandfather and began to pull him by the sleeve, saying:
- Well, get up, grandfather, let's go!
- Wait a little, Tanyusha, let me finish the conversation. In the meantime, draw the “classics” and jump,” he suggested.
Tanya found a twig on the ground, drew "hopscotch" and began to jump, pushing a small pebble with her foot. But it was not fun to play alone!
She again approached her grandfather and began to pat the twig on his leg.
- Grandfather! You've been talking for so long! I want to go to the playground. Let's go! Tanya chimed in.
♦ What do you think Tanya's grandfather said?
“We have been talking with Alexei Alekseevich for only ten minutes, and you have already interrupted our conversation several times,” grandfather got angry. - Be patient, learn to respect elders.
Tanya snored resentfully and moved a few steps away. “Here,” she decided, “I will jump on one leg around the bench on which the old people are sitting. They'll get tired of it."
♦ Do you think Tanya made the right decision?
The girl jumped around the bench, saying loudly:
- Jump-jump, jump-jump! I'm jumping on one leg, I don't want to wait any longer!
But adults did not even think to stop an interesting conversation.
The girl's patience finally snapped, and she said loudly, interrupting the conversation of the elderly:
- Grandpa! I'm tired of waiting. Let's go to the playground.
The gray-bearded old man raised his head and looked attentively at the girl.
- Oh, you dragonfly-egoza! he said softly. - What a beautiful yellow dress you have, and the bows are matched to match - yellow with orange stars. You, Tanyusha, look like a small yellow bird. Come on, come closer to me. I want to get a better look at you.
Tanya came closer, the old man took her by the hand and said in a low voice:
“Do you want to be a real bird for ten minutes?”
The girl thought that Alexey Alekseevich was joking and answered cheerfully:
Then the old man imperceptibly pulled out a long gray hair from his beard, muttered something under his breath, and Tanya instantly turned into a pretty yellow bird. She fluttered into a tree, and grandfather didn’t even notice anything, everything happened so quickly!
The old people again plunged into conversation, and Tanya the bird sat on a branch and chirped loudly.
She was noticed by other birds: starling, titmouse, nuthatch and sparrows. They immediately flew up to a bright yellow bird.
- You are so Beautiful! exclaimed the starling admiringly.
- What is your name? And where did you come from? asked the curious tit.
“You must have jumped out of the cage?” the nuthatch suggested.
“Tell us about yourself,” the birds asked in unison.
As soon as Tanya was about to tell her amazing story, a chatty magpie flew in out of nowhere.
- Cha-cha-cha! Cha-cha-cha! she crackled loudly. - I know, I know everything! I saw everything with my own eyes! That yellow bird is a canary! She flew into the park from that tall house!
- No no! I'm not a canary at all! - the bird girl tried to explain, but the chirp chattered, did not stop for a minute, and did not let her utter a word.
And Tanya really wanted to talk with the birds, ask them about life. But a talkative and importunate magpie prevented her from doing this.
"What an ill-mannered person!" Tanya said, and suddenly she felt ashamed.
♦ Why do you think Tanya felt ashamed?
“It turns out that I am also ill-mannered. After all, I behaved worse than this magpie, ”thought Tanya.
At this time, the old people finished their conversation, Alexei Alekseevich imperceptibly pulled out another hair from his long gray beard and, whispering something, blew on it.
Tanya from a small yellow bird again turned into a girl.
She stepped out from behind the tree and approached her grandfather. Old acquaintances said goodbye, shaking hands.
- Well, here's the young man! Grandpa praised Tanya. - She gave us plenty to talk, to remember the past, our young years and our mutual friends.
Tanya carefully looked at the gray-bearded old man, but he put his finger to his lips, as if warning the girl not to tell anyone about her adventure.
Tanya nodded her head in agreement. She, of course, guessed that grandfather's acquaintance was a real magician.
Tanya and grandfather went to the playground, and Alexey Alekseevich went about his business.
♦ Where did Tanya and her grandfather go for a walk? Who did they meet in the park?
♦ Why did grandfather and Alexei Alekseevich want to talk?
♦ How did Tanya behave during the conversation?
♦ What did the magician turn the girl into?
♦ Who prevented Tanya from talking to the birds?
♦ What did Tanya think after she met the magpie?
♦ Do you think Tanya will continue to interfere with someone else's conversation?
♦ Are you a good listener?
Answer the questions
1. Why is it said: “Speech is red by hearing”?
2. Can you listen to the interlocutor?
3. Why does a person who interrupts or, without listening to the end, begins to go about his own business, makes an unpleasant impression?
4. What do you think is the difference between a conversation with a peer and a conversation with an adult?
5. What should be the tone of any conversation?
