“I appeal to the reader with a request to do a small experiment on himself - to try to imagine himself as an actor (subject) of the specific everyday situations listed below and decide which of them pose the problem of moral choice for the subject. It does not matter to me what choice the reader makes in these situations. (It is possible that he will choose a possibility that I did not foresee.) All that matters to me is which of them he considers to be situations of moral choice. I will not hide the trick lurking in this issue. This is not a test, where the true meaning of the questions should not be clear to the test-taker. If in at least two cases you decide that we are talking about a moral choice, I will assume that for you the situation of moral choice is real. In this case, the book brought to your attention, I hope, will be of interest to you. However, do not rush to put it aside if you have not recognized the reality of moral choice in any of the cases offered to you. It is possible that the study of this book will help you realize this reality. And for the sake of discovering a new reality, it is quite justified to spend efforts on getting to know the book.
So, here are some situations for you. About which of them are you ready to say that they pose the problem of moral choice for the subject?
1. Your superiors have offered you a very honorable position that meets your abilities and aspirations, but asked you not to disclose this offer until X, who holds this position, with whom you have long-standing friendly relations and are highly respected by you, is retired. You have to choose between agreeing, refusing, and trying to consult with X first, violating a direct order from your superiors. (It is likely that X will tell his superiors about your attempt, and this is fraught with complications.)
2. The doctor told you that the illness of a loved one is fatal. You have to decide for yourself whether to communicate this diagnosis to the patient.
4. Immediately after the Chernobyl disaster, the leadership of the USSR decided not disseminate information about the real extent of the radioactive danger. The catastrophe itself turned out to be a consequence of the decision taken by the management of the nuclear power plant to conduct an experiment with one of the nuclear reactors - to enter it into a critical mode in order to obtain useful data on the properties of the reactor. Were those responsible for making these decisions in a situation of moral choice?
5. Mom sent the child to the store for shopping. He can obediently complete the task or succumb to his natural desire and spend part of the money on ice cream. Is this choice moral?
6. You are walking down the street in the evening with a heavy object in your hand (for example, a hammer). With you, two hooligans attack a woman. You can sneak past, try to coax the bullies, try to force them, or just hit one of them in the head with a hammer. Is it a question of a moral choice or only a choice of effective action?
7. You have serious reasons to suspect your neighbors that they are preparing a terrorist act in a certain place, but there is no complete certainty about this. You can warn by phone about the place and time of the act being prepared, tell the police the names of the alleged terrorists, try to get in touch with them and dissuade them from what they have planned, etc. Do you face a moral problem?
8. You are the only person in the boat who can swim well. The boat has capsized and you are faced with the choice of who to rescue first. How will the situation change if, according to your feeling, your strength is barely enough to swim to the shore on your own?
9. Imagine that you live in Soviet times, when holding even a small administrative position required membership in the Communist Party. You have a choice; to join the CPSU or refused an attractive promotion prospect for you. (Of course, much depends on how you evaluate membership in the CPSU: do you associate personal responsibility for terror and other crimes with it?) Try to imagine a similar situation of choice in other times in other countries. Remember in what situation and who said the words: "Paris is worth a mass."
10. You pass by a lottery barker inviting you to buy tickets. At the same time, he promises that whoever buys five tickets that did not win, gets the money back. Your choice is simple; buy a certain number of tickets or ignore these calls. It is easy to see that the lottery is designed in such a way that with a high probability one out of five tickets wins, but the amount of this winning is much less than the price of five tickets. So, the promise to pay damages is built on an easy-to-guess deception. (Otherwise, the organizers would not have received income.) But the question for the reader is not what are his chances of winning. (You can immediately say that they are much less than the organizers of the lottery.) The reader will have to decide whether this situation has a moral aspect for its participants?
The meaning of the questions posed to the reader is not to decide what should be done in the given situations. These are questions for self-examination, does the reader have any doubts that we are talking about what is due here?
Shreyder Yu.A., Ethics. Introduction to the subject, M., "Text", 1998, p. 20-22.
We want to tell you about an amazing and very simple technique of 7 questions that will allow you to assess the situation from different points of view, get rid of doubts and take the ability to make the right choice to a new level.
WARNING: You may not always like the answers, but in the end they will help you make the right decision.
1. What would I choose (a) if not for fear?
Unfortunately, too many decisions in our lives are made for us by our own fears and stereotypes. Of course, successful businessmen are careful about all the risks they take in their choice, but they are also conscious about their fears in doing so. If you feel obstacles - write down (literally!) all your fears and doubts and carefully work them out with someone who will help you be objective. Sometimes the choice that causes us the most fear is the best one.
2. What would I choose (a) if not money?
What do you think: many brilliant ideas have not been implemented due to lack of money? Or is there no money due to the fact that these ideas were not implemented? Will you refuse to develop and move forward if it seems to you that you do not have enough funds for this? No matter how fantastic it may sound, but if you made the right choice, there will always be money. Remember crowdfunding (from the English. rowd funding, сrowd- "crowd", funding- "financing"). You can also ask for help from relatives, friends, acquaintances, or just let your surroundings know that you are looking for an investor. And let the money, or rather the lack of it, do not stop you.
3. What is the worst and best thing that can happen?
As a continuation of the previous two questions, draw yourself a mental map on paper of all the possible consequences of all possible decisions. List the positive, negative, tangible, and minor results that your choice will entail. In most cases, the best way out will thus become apparent on its own.
4. What has my previous experience taught me?
Any life experience - whether it be positive or negative - gives us valuable lessons. Defeats in our lives happen only when, when we have not learned any lesson for ourselves. The rise is just as valuable a lesson as the fall. Think back to your previous ups and downs and consider: Does previous experience tell you what to do in this situation?
5. Does it match my vision?
Ask yourself the question: do you really need it, or are you agreeing out of necessity, although you are turning in the wrong direction at all? After all, one of the main factors for success is consistency, so always keep in mind whether this decision is in line with your vision, and whether it knocks you off your course?
6. What do my soul and body tell me?
Think back to the last choice you regret - didn't your inner voice or body give you signals that you shouldn't do this? If you feel physically uncomfortable when making a decision, or your inner voice quietly dissuades you, listen to these signals. They may not coincide with what you are leaning towards at the moment, but the subconscious mind is much more aware of how this choice will affect you in the future.
7. How will I look at myself in the mirror tomorrow?
Finally, about the future. How will you feel the day after you make a decision? If you feel proud, energized and inspired, you are on the right track. If you notice shame or regret behind you, don't ignore those feelings. If you are already experiencing them, prepare for the worst.
For the full picture, consider what you will experience as a result of your choice in a week/month/year. You can also take 5 or 10 years for big decisions that have a significant impact on your entire life.
Conclusions: How to make the right choice?
Save this image to your desktop. Post it on your Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / LinkedIn / Vkontakte. Print it out and hang it above your desktop. And every time you are in doubt when making a choice, answer each of these 7 questions for yourself. Believe me - it works.
From this article you will learn:
- What to do if you are trapped
- Ways to subdue emotions
- Decision-making methods
What to do if you are a leader and you are faced with a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: one cannot be pardoned, one cannot be fired, and it is not clear where to put a comma. In this article, we will share several ways to make the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.
If you are trapped
Stress affects a person in different ways: someone withdraws into himself, someone is worried and does not sleep at night, someone is hysterical and breaks down on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche, often he is not able to make a choice on his own and acts under the influence of emotions or close circle.
Time shows that impulsive and ill-conceived decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, career, your relationship, in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before using the methods described below in practice, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We'll show you how.
There are several ways to calm emotions:
- short- breathe properly. Take 10 deep slow breaths - this will help you calm down;
- medium term Imagine that your friend is in this situation and asks you for advice. What will you tell him? Surely discard all emotions and try to look at the situation from a distance, objectively. So try it;
- long-term- take a time out. Just let go of the situation for a while, do other things, and after a week or a month, return to it. So you will kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you will cut off impulsive decisions and will not chop off the shoulder. And secondly, the right decision will ripen in your head on its own, like a ripe fruit - you just need to give it time.
Decision methods
Now that emotions no longer influence your choice, let's talk about eight reliable decision-making methods.
1. Method of pluses and minuses
Use the good old way: take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw the sheet in two. In the left column, write all the pros of the chosen solution, in the right column, respectively, the cons. Do not limit yourself to a few positions: the list should contain 15-20 items. Then calculate which will be more. Profit!
The essence of the method: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, you are unlikely to see the full picture. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the ratio of pluses and minuses, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?
2. Make habits
This method is suitable if you find it difficult to make a choice in everyday matters. For example, to raise the salary of a new employee or not worth it yet, to put a callback from Envybox or another company on the site. What to eat for dinner, in the end, french fries or fish and vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits for yourself and continue to follow them.
For example, enter an iron rule: raise the salary of employees only after six months of work in your company. It is cheaper to buy stationery products exclusively from the Skrepka company. There are light and healthy dishes for dinner - you yourself will soon say thank you. Well, with the callback, you get the idea, yes.
The essence of the method: following habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to make a truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully equipped.
3. Method "If - then"
This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, personal life. For example, your employee speaks impolitely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: immediately dismiss him or try to re-educate him? Try using the "if-then" technique. Tell yourself: if he once again allows himself to mistreat the client, you will deprive him of the bonus. If the incident repeats, fire.
The essence of the method: as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries within which you will act. The burden will immediately fall off the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don’t have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a negligent employee.
It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch.
The rule is: Before you make a difficult decision, stop and answer three questions:
- what will you think about it 10 minutes later;
- How will you feel about your choice in 10 months?
- What will you say in 10 years?
Let's take an example. Let's take a young man who works as a manager, does not like work, but tolerates it, because money is needed. He dreams of quitting, taking a loan and opening his own business - a small pub, but at the same time he is desperately afraid of burning out and losing everything he has. In general, a classic case when a tit in the hands is preferred to a crane in the sky. It is difficult for our hero to take the first step - to quit his hated job. Let's say he does it. In ten minutes, he is unlikely to have time to regret his decision. In 10 months, he will have time to rent a room, equip a pub and receive clients. And if it doesn’t work out, he will find a manager’s job anyway, so why regret? Well, in 10 years, this choice is unlikely to have any meaning at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in another place - one of the two.
It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes such a difficult task, because a person clearly understands what awaits him in the future.
Remember, as in Yesenin: “you can’t see a face face to face, a big one is seen at a distance.” As long as the future looks hazy and vague, the decision will be delayed again and again. Making concrete plans, presenting his emotions in detail, a person rationalizes the problem and ceases to be afraid of the unknown - because it becomes simple and understandable.
5. Decide within 15 minutes
Paradoxical as it may seem, the most important, strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes.
A familiar situation: the company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the bottom line is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done nasty things, and it is not clear what to do: to respond in kind or to get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis hit your company, and you are confused: move to a less prestigious place or lay off a dozen employees.
How to make the right choice here, and is there one? And you start to pull, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve itself. If you do not know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer in this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any decision. Yes, at first glance it may seem nonsense. But what about planning, but what about testing and verifying solutions? OK, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investments check the correctness of the solution - check it. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately note the time.
The essence of the method: needless to say, if you play for time, nothing is solved: crises do not go away, rental prices do not decrease, and competitors become even more toothy. One unaccepted decision drags others along, the business sags and becomes inefficient. As the saying goes, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and regret.
The same as what we wrote at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of the two, hit or miss, oh, was not! But who said that the problem has only two solutions?
Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation wider. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option, to apply disciplinary measures to the offending employee for the first time.
The essence of the method: when there are only two solutions, there is more chance to choose the right solution, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: do not be afraid to look her in the eye and accept all possible options. The solution may be a compromise, a rejection of both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. This often happens when the owner of a small business cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or engage only in managerial activities. Start combining - and then you will see what works best. This will be the best solution to the problem.
7. Method of elimination of variants
And now vice versa: imagine that it is simply impossible for you to make a decision. It doesn't matter what the reason is - according to the conditions of the game, this is completely excluded for you.
For example, you do not know whether to invite your best friend to work. On the one hand, he seems to be a good person, but on the other hand, it is not known whether he will pull this position and how this will affect your further friendship.
So, you have two options: apply for a friend or find another, more professional candidate. Now imagine that a friend has already been offered a job - that is, his candidacy is no longer available. What would you do in this case: place an ad on the Internet, use word of mouth, would you personally conduct interviews?
Think about how many talented people could come to you, and ask yourself: do I really need that dude? We thought - and now act: post ads, call your friends and set the time for interviews.
The essence of the method: and again we destroy the framework of the familiar, only not expanding them, but, on the contrary, narrowing them. Sometimes there is the only correct solution that we do not see behind the forest of false ideas and beliefs.
8. Remember the Big Idea
About the Great Mission, the Great Idea - the very thing on which your whole company and your whole business is based. If you have already developed it, then it will be easier for you to make a decision.
You just need to ask yourself: does the decision made contradict the Big Idea? If you have not yet understood what this idea is, at least figure out what is most important to you. If you want to make money, make sure that the decision does not lead to loss of profit. Strive to make customers happy - pay all attention to the service, whether the quality of your service will suffer.
You act only by honest methods - check if your choice does not contradict moral standards, if your own conscience will bite you later.
The essence of the method: everything is simple here, do not deviate from your priorities - and you will be happy. Remember that momentary gain, which later backfires on failures and loss of resources, is the wrong decision. An unscrupulous act that goes against your values is the wrong decision. Sometimes it is better to lose profit, but to live in harmony with yourself and your life's work.
Ekaterina Journalist
So we need a strategy of action. Otherwise, our life will be full of unpleasant surprises, and your goals will not be achieved.
Only by choosing for yourself, you have every chance of getting exactly what you want, while allowing you to choose for you, you will only be a convenient object for the implementation of someone else's life plans, and God forbid that they coincide at least a little with yours.
Each person is the architect of his own happiness. He, and only he, knows what he needs from life. He, and only he, can live his life in such a way as to achieve his goals and get everything that he likes from life.
Having a clear strategy of action, you are sufficiently insured against accidents, because your life is in your hands.
Laziness and inaction are the main components of our life failures.
“He is an egoist,” they say about someone we know, and this is by no means a compliment. God forbid, they will say the same about us. That is why we so often try to look nice, diligently adapt to other people's opinions and are ready to sacrifice our own interests even where this is not at all necessary.
But why are we so often faced with the fact that few people think to defend our positions? Is it because the accusation of selfishness is just a convenient formula with which you can make you forget about your interests and profitably use others for yourself?
Have you been accused of selfishness? It's OK. Ultimately, this only means that your interests did not coincide with the interests of the one who dared to accuse you of selfishness, and he simply does not benefit from what is beneficial to you. If we do not have a strategy with which we can filter such reproaches, they will bully us all our lives.
So, unfavorable compromises lead away from the goal. The only consolation that remains for you is the realization that you are a sweet and very likeable person.
First, let's figure out what the truth is. A simple example: a piece of dead cow and excellent beef are the same object. It all depends on what point of view you look at: from the point of view of a vegetarian or a seller in the market.
Are you required to be honest? Solidarity with someone's opinion? Are you reminded over and over again of your sense of responsibility? Look around, and you will understand that they just want to achieve the desired behavior from you once again. Needed! But to whom? Let us not forget that if the world were filled with exceptionally honest, hardworking, helpful people who live their lives and let others live theirs, nothing would stand in the way of our personal happiness.
Think of yourself. In the end, the main thing is to be true to yourself, honest to yourself, in solidarity with your own opinion and be responsible, first of all, for yourself.
How can you talk about loyalty if you are ready to betray yourself every minute.
You, and only you, have the right to make claims against yourself.
If you are faced with the choice of doing or not doing something, ask yourself a simple question: “What good is it for me?” And stupid thoughts “What will others say?” get out of your head.
Rule 2. Improve what you have
I don't know if the name Pablo Casal means anything to you. This is one of the most outstanding musicians of our time. He died in 1974 at the age of ninety-seven. Pablo Casal was a conductor and composer, taught music and organized music festivals. He played flute, violin, piano, organ and cello. But his main instrument was the cello.
Critics argued: "Those who have not heard Casal cannot imagine how a stringed instrument can sound." The musician himself writes in his memoirs: “For the last eighty years, every day has started the same way for me, and this is very important for me. I sit down at the piano and play two preludes and fugues by Johann Sebastian Bach. At this moment, I have an incredible feeling that I am human.”
Just imagine: a man for eighty years every morning goes to the piano and plays two preludes and fugues of Bach. This fills him with happiness and gives a sense of a full-fledged human existence. He does not need anyone, neither critics nor numerous admirers of his talent. He just sits down at the piano and plays all the same preludes and fugues. And nothing more! And the more he plays Bach, the deeper he gets into his music, the more out of this music gets for itself.
Who do you think owns his music and his life? Him, and only him.
He does not allow chance or other people to decide for him whether to play in the morning or not. He plays no matter what stripe he has in life, black or white; whether he is at his home in Puerto Rico or with friends in New York.
He is happy.
But we are not. And do you know why?
Here are three main reasons why most of us are not satisfied with our lives:
First, we always assume that there is something more important and significant than what we have already done and have at the moment;
- Secondly, we are always dissatisfied with ourselves and all the time want to be what we are by no means;
- and thirdly, we can't be happy with what we have. Instead of improving the abilities inherent in us, we rush from side to side in search of something new, completely forgetting what we have at hand.
Rule 3
The easiest way to get rid of responsibility is to rely on the opinion of the majority.
So is it worth spending your life on eternal excuses? Your success depends only on you.
1. We do not depend on how our achievements will be assessed, but only on our own assessment. To put it simply, we no one will spoil the mood, except ourselves.
2. We can put all our energy into work instead of wasting it on finding a suitable excuse for our own failure.
3. Any our goal and its achievement is our only problem. Under this condition, the more we delve into the solution of a problem, the more pleasure we get from the very process of work. The one who has already picked up an excuse for himself, admitted the possibility of defeat in advance. Such work is unlikely to be a joy; rather, it will be perceived as hard, and sometimes overwork.
4. If any undertaking is crowned with success, then I will be sure that I myself have achieved this. This will undoubtedly add confidence in my abilities and allow me to solve even more complex tasks, completely relying on myself.
5. Having failed, I will know that, despite the effort expended, I made a mistake. Instead of deceiving myself and others, I can find this mistake and learn useful experience that will be useful to me in the future. I almost certainly won't make another mistake like this.
So let's repeat it again:
Everything I do, I am responsible for myself.
- In case of failure, I look for reasons first of all in myself.
- If I am not ready to accept responsibility, then it is better to refuse possible benefits than to make myself dependent on others.
To avoid problems in the future, remember the following:
1. Don't let flattery, promises or threats get the better of you. Consider calmly whether you can take on the responsibility that they want to put on you. Consider also what are your chances of successfully completing the task.
2. If you come to the conclusion that you have only shifted the responsibility to you, but not given the opportunity to do the job properly, then demand the necessary help or authority for yourself. Otherwise, you will be responsible for other people's mistakes and miscalculations, and this is of no use to you.
3. Your most dangerous partners are people who get down to business, although they themselves are not able to solve the problem, and sometimes even understand it. You are probably familiar with people like this. These are the ones who always say “I will do it” and for many reasons do not know how to say “no”. And all because of the fear of losing the position, authority or respect that they think they enjoy. Most often, such people are well aware that this task is almost or completely impossible, and yet meekly take on its solution. What do you think they think? Correctly. Their first goal is to shift responsibility onto someone else's shoulders.
To want to be something other than yourself is to want to become nothing. V. Klyuchevsky
How do others evaluate us? According to our achievements. The successful and the strong are respected, while the losers and the weak are despised. Let's put it simply: if you want to be respected, assert yourself.
Remember, there is a huge difference between what exactly we want ourselves and what they want from us. Anyone who wants to stop this meaningless, essentially endless race and enjoy the results of his achievements must check everything he does according to the following two criteria:
1. Whether this achievement brings you any benefit or not.
2. Do you strive for new achievements because of their prestige, and if so, to what extent.
Recognition of others. We are so fascinated by him that we think only of the triumph of victory and forget about the consequences.
Here is a very instructive list of those who benefit from our prestige orientation.
It is beneficial:
- to the state, because it can always put us in our place and show us what we really stand for;
- to manufacturing firms, because a huge amount of their goods is bought not out of necessity, but for reasons of prestige;
- to the authorities, because people who are oriented towards prestige are easier to manage;
- a successful environment, because it will always be able to demonstrate its superiority over us;
- relatives and friends, in the event that they themselves are oriented towards the same prestigious values as you.
I do what gives me pleasure. I don't care what people say. The priority is self-realization.
Let me remind you the main principles on which the strategy of a reasonable egoist is built:
- Firstly, a reasonable egoist never makes himself dependent on others. Truly independent is only the one who lives his own life and is able to forge his happiness without relying on outside help;
- secondly, a reasonable egoist never shifts responsibility for his life onto other people's shoulders.
A woman who does not have a strategy for her own happiness should not be surprised that her husband will never make her happy.
Do not expect to be helped - this is the first rule of life in this world, in which everyone is for himself.
If everyone took more care of themselves, there would be far fewer unhappy people in the world.
Living your life, defending your interests, achieving your own goals, not someone else's - this is the true path to happiness, and I think we are on the same path ...
Free choice and full responsibility for our choice - this is the only way we can truly become masters of our own destiny.
If you live the way you like, you will not interfere with others.
Step Four: Decide what you need to give up in order to achieve what you want.
All you have to do is make a wish list. Then, leaving in it only what is more pleasant for you, cross out everything else. Next, check the list with your real capabilities, fix the latter on paper and, in accordance with them, cross out what does not “fit” into them.
██ ██ Do you love yourself? If yes, then why do you need the “opinion of others”, don’t you have your own? There is no such thing as "opinion of others". There is just a person who dictates his opinion to everyone! It's not you? Very sorry. You are a wonderful person, but you are not selfish. Selfishness is the art of loving and respecting yourself, believing in yourself and achieving everything you want. Do you own this art? Put your opinion above the opinions of others, learn to make decisions and take responsibility for them. Feel the power in yourself, become an egoist! Model your life the way you want it, and you will see for yourself: your desires will begin to come true, you will be successful, and most importantly, a truly happy person.
