Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: Decided to change your life, fix something and rethink? Look around, at those around you. Perhaps among them there are those who always pull you down, make you upset, take away positive energy. Think about how your world will change if you refuse to communicate with these people.

10 types of people you shouldn't hang out with

Have you decided to change your life, fix something and rethink? Look around, at those around you. Perhaps among them there are those who always pull you down, make you upset, take away positive energy. Think about how your world will change if you refuse to communicate with these people.

Let's single out 10 types of such people.

People who make your life more stressful

We sometimes need stress. This is a stimulus to action, a shake-up for the soul. Stress due to various situations happens and will always be - this is normal and even useful. But there are special people who, with their words or actions, deliberately put you in a state of stress, worries.

Such individuals endlessly "load" their problems. Communicating with them is listening to endless whining and complaints. Negative emotions pour over you in a stream and put you in a state of despondency. Such acquaintances try to convince you of the futility of the efforts made in some business, they demotivate you. It is better to isolate yourself from such “friends”, reduce contacts to a minimum.. They are energy vampires, except for fatigue and irritation from such communication, you will not get anything.

People using you

The duty of friends is to come to the aid, to support, if possible, mentally and materially. about. A true friend is a gift to be cherished and cherished. To come to the aid of friends at the first call, putting aside their affairs - this is what is required from a loved one, a kind of litmus test showing the level of our spiritual development.

People who don't respect you

Every person wants to be respected. Disdainful or unworthy attitude offends, offends. If among your acquaintances there are such unceremonious persons who demonstrate their disrespect for you, they are not worthy of your attention. In addition to low self-esteem, they will not bring anything into your life. Get rid of those whose words or constant jokes spoil your mood. Do not waste your time on people who do not want to see you as a person worthy of respect.

People who hurt you

All people make mistakes and do stupid things. You need to be able to forgive, especially when it comes to loved ones.. Resentment against others destroys the person himself from the inside. If among your environment there are people who regularly hurt, who do not have sincere repentance for their actions, move them away from you. Do not develop masochism in yourself. It harms you first of all and negatively affects loved ones who love you.

Liar people

Almost everyone can lie, embellish something, invent. Most of the lies are harmless, we often even guess that the interlocutor is “flooding”, we love to lie ourselves. When this lie does not bring harm, one can understand, but there are people who lie all the time. Their lies can be dangerous. Such "copies" will easily let you down, they will set you up at any moment. Without trust, there is no friendship. Surround yourself with only those you can trust. Your life will become calmer, you will always feel confident in your loved ones, only such reliable people can become a support.

hypocrites people

A person who says one thing in the face and another behind his back cannot be a friend. Only cowards, hypocrites, scum act like this. They don't have the courage to be honest. Often this behavior is driven by malicious intent.: quarrel, upset, hurt. They are not just unpleasant personalities, they are dangerous creatures that can ruin a reputation, interfere with a career, even break a life. Stay away from these hypocrites, don't have any association with them. Only complete disregard for such personalities will protect you from trouble.

Selfish people

Everyone suffers from selfishness. But there are egocentric people. They know how to communicate well, they are quite fun to be around. They know how to correctly and tearfully ask for help, so it is impossible to refuse. However, you will not wait for reciprocal attention or support from them. They are not able to give, help, sacrifice. These "pseudo-friends" are especially harmful as they create the illusion of friendship. You will expect help from them, but they will disappear at the most crucial moment. After all, their own interests are above the troubles of others.

People who pull you back to the old way of life

Our lives are constantly changing. We develop, grow mentally, acquire new habits. It is quite natural and natural for new people and acquaintances to appear in the environment. Sometimes it’s time to break off relations with old comrades, especially when it comes to people who are trying to slow down your development, pull you down, and prevent the fight against bad inclinations. If a friend does not want to grow with you, no longer shares interests, it is better to disperse. Now everyone has their own path. Life is a movement, you should not stop.

People who are "a childhood friend - there's no getting away from him"

It is very rare when people are friends from school to old age. We choose our friends according to interests, worldview. It can be insulting and painful to part with those who have been around for many years, whether it be a classmate, classmate or colleagues. Of course, this does not mean at all that you should immediately and permanently end the relationship. It's okay to keep in touch on the phone, say goodbye to the holidays, and just wonder how a former friend's life has turned out. But deliberately torment yourself by communicating with a person with whom there are now no common topics and goals.

People who needlessly take up your time and space

Time is running fast. We always fail to do something. You don't have to waste yourself on everyone you meet. Limit the number of acquaintances. Give your time and energy to people who inspire, support, motivate you. Create high-quality, useful communication in your life. A large number of empty acquaintances and meaningless conversations only steal your time, energy and destabilize mentally.published

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Unpleasant people are found everywhere - it can be an excessively demanding boss, relatives who hand out “valuable” advice right and left, or scandalous fellow travelers on public transport. Scientists say that communication with such people can be harmful to health, and negative emotions spread like the real flu itself. But there are tricks that will help protect yourself from the adverse influence of such a person and make communication useful.

1. Walk away from the punch

The cushioning principle is a conflict avoidance technique described in the book "Psychological Aikido" by Russian psychologist Mikhail Litvak. According to the principles of the book, the prevention and termination of the conflict occurs due to the redirection of the energy of the aggressor back to him. Simply put, when you get a "psychological blow", behave like a cat falling from a height: soften it. This algorithm can be successfully applied in the family, at work, in public life.

If your opponent accuses you, agree with his statement. A couple of dodges - and the enemy is disoriented, because he did not receive the expected emotions from this conflict.

2. Repeat the end of an angry opponent's phrase

Mirroring is a well-known psychological method. But it is not a human invention, even chimpanzees resort to the tactics of mirroring their fellow tribesmen. Keep in mind that mirroring is a subtle process, the opponent should not think that you are laughing at him.

When you repeat the words of the interlocutor, filling them with your own meaning, they are perceived as his own. It is easier for an angry person to listen to your arguments if they partly belong to him.

3. Get an arbitrator

Calling someone for help does not mean hiding behind someone else's back. The involvement of third parties allows you to look at the conflict in a new way and find ways out of the impasse. From the point of view of neurobiology, spores are a threatening situation, and the receptors responsible for the excitability of the parasympathetic nervous system begin to sound the alarm. So the mediator in the conflict will take on the role of a lightning rod and judge you without unnecessary emotions.

Asking someone for help not a sign of immaturity, but, on the contrary, evidence of your understanding of the laws of real life.

4. Treat an imaginary cake

The cakes are very sweet, delicious, and they can also bring a smile to the sweet tooth. Angry people often need such an imaginary cake. Often their anger comes from self-doubt, fear of losing authority, resentment. Don't be greedy, share a couple of slices of an imaginary cake with them. After all, yielding in something small, you can get a big benefit in the future.

In a conflict situation, go towards the interlocutor. It is only important to remember that the requirements must be reasonable and justified - do not step over yourself.

5. Imagine an unpleasant person in a ridiculous situation.

It happens that there is no way to answer the offender, he does not even allow his mouth to be opened. Visualize. If you imagine that the boss yelling at you is dressed in a pink tutu, it will be much easier to survive the stream of moralizing.

6. Feed the aggressor

Another way to resolve the conflict is to offer the angry person something edible (candy, cookies) or hold out a bottle of water. The whole secret is that when you give something to your opponent, he feels an unconscious desire to reciprocate, to meet halfway.

In addition, since ancient times, eating has a sacred meaning. People who share a meal become allies in some way. It is easier for them to find ways to reconciliation. And screaming with your mouth full is very problematic.

We all have faced situations more than once when someone offended us, spoke taunts, trying to unbalance us, asked tactless questions and said everything that is unpleasant for us to hear! When it comes to an unfamiliar person, the way out can be simple, just exclude this person from your communication. But what if this is not possible, if this unpleasant person is a close relative or you work shoulder to shoulder with him? How to behave in order not to experience negative emotions, not to kindle a conflict, but at the same time not to accumulate negativity inside yourself?

In the article you will find several interesting psychological tricks and examples of situations with their solution.

First rule, which must be understood: a person will not change! He will continue to hook you as long as you react to it! After all, since he does this, it means that he has found a weak spot in you.

Second rule. You need to change your attitude towards this situation. It's not about just putting up with the bad words and not showing that it hurts you! It's about stopping feeling any sensations from what is happening. In other words, you should be "on the drum" what the person says, why, for what and how.

This is not easy to achieve, and it is likely that you will not immediately be able to stop responding. But nothing is impossible. Here are some psychological tricks that will make it easier for you to look at unpleasant words spoken by the same person. And quickly cheer yourself up and get rid of stress will help you.

Reception "Spam"

Imagine that the nasty person pestering you is spam! What does spam do? That's right, constantly spamming and spamming. Will you be offended by the spam that came to you by mail or phone?Of course, every time you receive another spam, you can shake with rage, swear at the phone and scream at the monitor! But why? After all, spam will still periodically come to you, so there is no point in wasting your energy on an emotional fight against spam!

This person is a real spam for you! What difference does it make what message spam conveys, the main thing is that it is just garbage that pollutes your psychological space! So why pay attention to him and take seriously that he is spamming you?!

Reception "Clown"

“Life is a theater, and people are actors in it!”. Let's imagine that this is true, and each person plays his part in the great circus of life. Of course, your enemy plays the role of a real clown.

Imagine how funny he is talking nonsense and writhing in the circus arena, trying his best to drag you out of the audience to his arena. Don't stoop to the level of a clown! Remember, this is just a show put on just for you!

Try, as far as possible, to internally enjoy this performance, which is shown especially for you! After all, if a person tries so hard, it means that there is something in you that he lacks, and you so eagerly want to get it. So you are a person who is worth something! Feel sorry for this sad clown! This is the wisest thing you can do in this situation!

Reception "Kolpak"

For this technique, you need a little imagination and humor. The more humor the better! You mentally put a cap with an inscription that you come up with on your own on a person you don’t like. For example, if a person constantly stings, the inscription may be “Prickly snarky”, “How much I slaughtered, how much I cut ...”, “Rabies of the uterus”, “Oh, I will tear it to pieces!” etc.

You need to remember the phrase and when communicating with this person, always mentally put on him a cap with this funny inscription. You will see, after a while you will stop seriously paying attention to what this person says!

We looked at 3 interesting psychological techniques in order to calmly respond to the negative directed at us. But what is the best way to answer sharp phrases and questions that are uncomfortable for us?

Below are 5 common situations and how to deal with them.

Situation No. 1. A person tells you something that is unpleasant, offensive or infuriating to you. There is no way to leave, it is impossible to change the topic, but listening to all this is simply unbearable. In this case:

1) Start singing your favorite song to yourself. This will help you silence what is being said and keep a calm state within yourself.

3) Repeat the mantras to yourself: “But I don’t care!”, “But I don’t care”, etc. In this way, you send a signal to the brain that you are not responding to words, and voila, you really do not respond to them!

Situation No. 2. The person constantly tells you taunts. By answering him with a caustic remark, you will involve yourself in his game, your irritation will only intensify, and he will achieve what he wanted.

Therefore, choose an answer from the ones below. You can try to use everything in turn, watching the effect that each answer has.

1) Reply with a compliment. This will shock the person and literally knock the saddle out from under him. After all, you do not join in his game, do not lose energy, but on the contrary, as from a mirror, you reflect his negative from yourself.

For example, if another woman tells you that you have gained weight, look bad, or something like that, answer her with a smile: But you look great! The answer will amaze her, and, most likely, the exchange of pleasantries will end there.

2) Change the topic to this person by asking him the same question. For example, when you hear about the fact that you have recovered or look bad, immediately ask, critically looking at her (him): Have you recovered or lost weight yourself? I can't understand at all.

3) You can answer all unpleasant statements addressed to you briefly and clearly: “But I like it!”, “It suits me!”, “So what!”, “What can we do now!” etc.

Answering with such phrases, you seem to “throw the ball off your field” and close the topic of conversation, showing that you feel good anyway! Even if a person tries to develop the topic further, he will run into a wall that he cannot break through! You don't react, you don't deny, you don't make excuses. The phrase can be repeated until the person is silent.

Situation number 3. What to do if you are asked a tactless and unpleasant question,
to which you do not want to answer?

1) Politely ask not to answer this question. For example, “Can I not answer this question?” When you ask a question, you seem to be asking for permission, but in fact you are saying in a veiled way that you do not intend to answer this question!

2) Apologize, and calmly tell the interlocutor that you would not like to talk about this topic.

Situation No. 4. How to respond if you are asked a tricky question, trying to get to the bottom of the truth, catch you on something or put you in an awkward situation?

1) Communicate that you haven't thought about it yet and promise to think about it later!

2) Say that this is a difficult question to think about...

3) Answer with a question: “What do you think about this?”

Situation No. 5. What if a person asks you a question, pushing you to give a positive answer, using the phrases: Isn't it? Why? Frankly answering "No" will either be impolite, or you do not have the desire to openly contradict.

1) Can't answer "No" or "Yes", answer "It looks like it!" So everything looks like you agree. The person is satisfied with your answer, and you remain with your opinion.

2) If a person practically himself is already putting an answer into your mouth, with the question: “Isn’t it so?”, Answer: “As you say.” The main thing is to speak words easily and this will not cause any negative emotions on the part of the questioner.

If a person catches the irony in your words, he can directly ask you a question: “Do you disagree?” Then you can laugh it off by saying that you just said everything for me!

Try to communicate less or completely stop communicating with people who bring you negative emotions. And if that's not possible, limit your interactions with them as much as you can.

In no case do not tolerate, do not accumulate negativity inside. Remember: people in most cases do not change, especially if they themselves do not want it. But you can change!

Every day we communicate with a huge number of people. Unfortunately, it is impossible to always meet only with those who are dear to you, close or just pleasant to talk to. Quite often there are situations when the interlocutor is unpleasant for you for some reason, but you have to communicate with him regularly. Emotions at such moments are difficult to hide, but still, you can use a few tips to reduce your dislike a little.

First, determine the reason for your relationship with this person. In this case, the main role can be played by external data, some distinctive manners of behavior, the attitude of a person towards you at the moment of communication. It is likely that this interlocutor behaves incorrectly towards you, for example, makes offensive jokes about you, sarcastically, makes unreasonable remarks. In any case, if during a conversation with this person you experience a feeling of discomfort, then this should be reported. This must be done as correctly as possible so that hostility does not develop into constant conflicts. Tactfully hint to the interlocutor that you do not like some moments in his behavior.

The easiest way to rid yourself of communication with unpleasant people is to distance them from yourself as much as possible. For example, if you have to see a person every day and he is your colleague, then try to schedule your working day in such a way that your communication is minimal. And at some points, you can even begin to ignore it. For example, if you are communicating with someone on a work issue, and an unpleasant interlocutor is trying in every way to intervene, then just try not to react either to his words or to his presence. If the interference in the conversation becomes persistent and intrusive, then ask the unpleasant colleague to attend to his job duties.

Another situation is if an unpleasant person is not only present in your circle of friends, but is also one of your close relatives. In such a situation, it is not always possible to limit meetings, sometimes they are forced. However, it is much easier to sort things out with a relative than with an ordinary acquaintance or work colleague. It is likely that the attitude towards you is due to some particular situation.

The best ways to influence an unpleasant person is to use a sense of humor and remove him from yourself as much as possible. As soon as the interlocutor tries to offend or offend you with something, try to turn his act into a joke, you can even make fun of his behavior. Thus, you will not only put the offender in an awkward position, but also give a kind of rebuff to his attack. The main thing is to never react to provocations, just try not to notice the person you don’t like, not to react to his words, not to respond with aggression to aggression.

Sometimes we all, regardless of desire, have to communicate with unpleasant people. These can be relatives, colleagues, clients, acquaintances, neighbors, bosses, etc.

What are they - unpleasant people? They cause irritation, fear, anger, confusion in us, we feel helpless, insecure, we cannot resist them, we feel pressure.

And how do we usually react? We ignore them and leave, snap, raise our voice in response, try to convince them or calm them down, give advice, laugh it off ...

Most often, such people are “energy vampires” who “feed” on our energy. Unfortunately, they can only “assimilate” the energy received from people like them - from boors, but they are not very eager to give it to them. So they have to "eat" us - calm, adequate people.

Communication techniques in times of conflict

First, let's look at the practices that are used "in the fields"- that is, right at the moment of interaction with an unpleasant person. Then with those who will help before or after conflict find out what is wrong and how to prevent such situations in the future.

Communication techniques before and after conflict

The following methods will help not directly in the conflict, but before or after it.

• When you find yourself alone after a conflict, explain to yourself why do you hate this person; what qualities does he exhibit; why you don't like them; why did you decide that such qualities should not be shown; when you realized it; whether it was related to the parental or current family; with what situations it was connected; did you bring it out yourself or did your parents instill it in you, etc.

How would you like to deal with this person for what he did to you? Can you do it? If not, think about what is stopping you (besides, of course, the Criminal Code). If it seems to you that you want to kill him - do not worry, this is an illusion, just emotions that overwhelm you.

• If you have to communicate with this person regularly, if this is not a colleague with whom you can reduce all communication to work issues, but, for example, a family member who lives in the next room, it will work great meditation method. Imagine that far, far away in a secret place there is a clearing, and in the clearing there is a well covered with a heavy lid - the well of transformation. Everything that falls there is transformed and turns into good. Invite (mentally) this unpleasant person there, quietly open the lid and drop him there. Close the lid immediately so that it does not get out. He will resist at first, but eventually calm down, and you can open the lid, let him out and talk to him: tell him everything that you feel about him. “In fact, I want you to listen to me so that you stop attacking me”, “When you are not in my life, I can not worry about the fact that only stinging remarks are waiting for me at home instead of words of support” and the like.

• Another way from Gestalt therapy - look at the situation from a distance. Choose a place in the room and put an object or thing there that will symbolize you, in another place put an object for that person, and in a third place a symbol of someone whom you respect and who could be impartial. Alternately sit in your seat, speak out, then sit in the place of the annoying person, also speak out, and in the place of the third figure and also express your thoughts. Talk to yourself this way.
• You can also use another game method. Describe the person who annoys you out loud as detailed as you can: what makes him so annoying, what he is, why he is unpleasant to you. Try to play it: show his gait, gestures, talk like him, copy the tilt of the head, the timbre of the voice, intonation. Try to act like him, be him, become him. You can do this in front of a mirror. Feel the atmosphere that is created around him. If you really manage to immerse yourself, you will feel the power of this person, understand his motives. Think about how this energy can be useful to you.
• Think that the person who irritates you does not irritate everyone. For example, an annoying colleague can be a gentle mother, and a grumpy neighbor can be a devoted friend. Analyze what good qualities he might have. Also, do not forget that a person may have some problems that are completely unrelated to you.

Your task is to stop experiencing emotions that are painful for you. Never stoop to meet aggression with aggression. Your main tools are dignity, calmness and restraint.

Remember: what we do not like in people is necessarily present in ourselves. And most annoying are people who are similar to us in some way and those who express the qualities that we crushed in ourselves.

And when answering people who annoy you, do not forget that it is more important how you answer, with what intonation, and not what specific words you pronounce.