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Loneliness, love, relationships (Osho quotes)

The quotes are taken out of context, so some of them may not be completely clear. Read Osho books if interested))

Here is my observation: millions of people continue to suffer needlessly.

Relationships are a need for those who cannot be alone.

Two people who are lonely get into a relationship. Two lonely people can be together, communicate, participate in each other, and yet remain alone.

Everyone wants to escape from loneliness. Loneliness is like a wound; it brings pain. It can only be avoided in one way: to become part of the crowd, to become part of society, to start a family, to have a husband or wife, to have children. In this crowd, a person gains the opportunity to forget about his loneliness.

If you're looking for solace, you'll find it, but it's a counterfeit coin. Cozy, comfortable, it is like a drug: you drink it and remain miserable, the squalor does not change, but you forget about it.

Everyone hides behind a happy mask, deceiving others. You also put on such a mask, and the rest begin to think that you are happier than them. And you think that others are happier than you.

We are born alone, live alone and die alone. What you need is not some way to forget that you're lonely. What is needed is for you to realize your loneliness. And it's such a beautiful experience to feel it, because it's your freedom from the other, from the crowd. This is your freedom from the fear of feeling alone.

The one who can be happy alone is a real person.

If your happiness depends on others, then you are a slave, you are not free, you are in bondage.

When you are absolutely happy in your aloneness - when you absolutely do not need the other, when the other is not a need - then you are capable of love. If the other is your need, you can only exploit, manipulate, dominate, but you cannot love.

When you start giving love with a deep sense of gratitude to all those who receive it, you will be surprised that you have become an emperor - you are no longer a beggar, asking for love with a beggar's bag, knocking on every door. And those people whose doors you knock on cannot give you love; they themselves are poor.

Love does not mean what is usually understood by it. Ordinary love is only a masquerade; there is something else behind it. True love is a completely different phenomenon. Ordinary love is a requirement, true love is maturity. She knows nothing about the requirements; she knows only the joy of generosity.

Love never expects any reward, not even gratitude. If gratitude comes from the other side, love is always surprised - it is a pleasant surprise, because there are no expectations.

Here is my approach: whatever existence gives you, it must be a subtle need of your soul, otherwise it would not have been given to you in the first place.

All this life is an unfamiliar country; we come from an unknown source. Suddenly we are here, and one day suddenly we are no more, we are back to the original source again. It is only a journey of a few days; make it as joyful as possible. But we go on doing just the opposite - we make him as miserable as possible. We put all our energies into making him more and more unhappy.

Osho, who are you? - I have no idea. If you ever find out, be sure to tell me.

Finally, an anecdote from Osho:

The young wife in the confessional asked the priest about contraceptives.
"You mustn't use them," the priest said. - They are against the law of God. Have a glass of water.
- Before or after?
- Instead of!

Like the quotes? Read also True love (Osho quotes)

Loneliness is, of course, a negative state of mind. You can be alone for a while, live on your own, and feel completely normal about it. And loneliness is the unbearable absence of someone else, a person dear to you, it can be a mother, and a father, and a husband, or a loved one, the one without whom it is difficult for you morally and sincerely. Here is the loneliness.

The positive side of loneliness is only that you fill the void inside yourself with thoughts about life and being, you get to know your inner world and yourself. You are so self-sufficient on your own, in fact, that you can fill the entire universe with yourself and never feel the need for someone's presence, but it is difficult for people to learn to live like this, to find harmony with themselves.

Comment

When you feel an emptiness inside you that is irreplaceable by anything else and no one else due to the lack of a specific person who is extremely important to you, then you have a choice to indulge in loneliness and sadness, or learn to enjoy and spend your loneliness with benefit. Believe me, it is possible and it is much better than the mental anguish that we tend to bring ourselves. When we do not find support from the outside world, we tend to feel deep spiritual bitterness and a desire to isolate ourselves from everything, to fight the mental sediment, but sometimes we increase it even more by separating ourselves from the outside world. The basic human spiritual needs are to receive approval from, first of all, close people, as well as the realization that there is always the opportunity to receive support from relatives and friends.

If now you are just faced with a similar situation, then it would be better for you to realize that you need to use the received loneliness with benefit, first of all, by doing what to analyze, why you got it and what was your role in this situation, what there was no need to do and what can be done in order to fix everything. But, in no case do not blame yourself for everything, but soberly assess the current situation.

The figure depicted on the card radiates inner light and even some modesty. One of the most important and significant investments of Gautama Buddha for the spirituality of people was the teaching, and even the requirement - "Be a light to yourself." The bottom line here is that everyone should understand that a person is born lonely and dies lonely, people come and go from our life, and we must remember that in fact this is our life, along which we must go to the goal without fellow travelers and guides. Listening only to your inner voice and living in harmony with yourself.

« Love. Freedom. Loneliness »

Osho

Love is the only freedom from attachment. Loving everything, you are not attached to anything.

In fact, one has to understand the very phenomenon of attachment. Why are you clinging to something? Because you're afraid to lose it. Maybe someone will steal it. You are afraid that what you have today may not be tomorrow.

Who knows what will happen tomorrow? The woman you love, or the man you love ... - movement in any direction is possible: you can come closer to each other, or you can move away. You can become strangers again, or you can merge so much that it will not even be possible to say that you are two; of course, there are two bodies, but the heart is one, and the song of the heart is one, and ecstasy envelops you like a cloud. You disappear into this ecstasy: you are not you, I am not me. Love becomes so total, love is so great and overwhelming, that you cannot be yourself; you have to drown and disappear.

In this disappearance, who will be attached and to whom? Everything is. When love blossoms in all its fullness, everything just is. Tomorrow does not frighten; therefore there is no question of any attachment, clinging, marriage, any kind of contract, bondage.

What are marriages if not business contracts? "We betray ourselves to each other in the face of judgment" - you insult love! You follow the law, and that is the lowest thing in existence and the ugliest. By bringing love to court, you are committing an unforgivable crime. You declare before a judge in court: "We want to get married and remain husband and wife. This is our promise before the law: we will not part and will not deceive each other." Don't you see that this is the greatest insult to love? Are you not thereby putting the law above love?

The law is for those who do not know how to love. The law is blind, it is not for those who have eyes. The law is for those who have forgotten the language of the heart and know only the language of the mind. The value of Mirdad's sayings is so great that they need to be deeply understood - not only intellectually, not only emotionally, but with your totality. The whole being must absorb it:

Love is the only freedom from attachment... because when you love, you don't even think about anything else. Loving everything, you are not attached to anything. Every moment comes with new splendor, new glory, new songs; every moment brings new dances into the dance. Maybe partners change, but love remains the same.

Attachment is the desire that the partner never changes. For this you take an oath before the court, society - all these are stupid formalities. And if you go against these formalities, you will lose all respect and honor in the eyes of the people among whom you have to live.

Love knows nothing about attachment, because in love there is no possibility of falling below one's dignity. Love is honor in itself, respectability in itself; nothing can be done about it. I'm not saying partners can't change, but that doesn't matter: when partners change but love stays flowing like a river, then there will actually be a lot more love in the world than there is today. Today the world is almost like a leaky faucet - drip, drip, drip ... This will not quench anyone's thirst. Love must be oceanic, not dripping from society's leaky faucet. And all marriages belong to society.

Love belongs to the universe. Love does not invite only a handful of people to celebrate, love invites all the stars, the suns, the flowers and all the birds; the whole existence is invited to the feast.

Love needs nothing else... a night full of stars - what more could you want? Just a few friends... and the whole universe is friendly. I have never met a tree that would be against me. I have seen many mountains, but I have never seen one that would stand up to me. The whole existence is very friendly.

Once your own understanding of love blossoms, there can be no question of any attachment at all. You can keep changing partners, but that doesn't mean you're leaving someone. You can return to the same partner, there is no prejudice.

Man should understand himself simply as a child playing on the seashore, collecting shells, colored stones and enjoying immensely, as if he had found a great treasure. If a person can enjoy the little things in life, live in freedom, and let others live in freedom, his whole world can become a completely different kind of world. Then there will be a quality of beauty, grace in him; there will be great radiance in it, and every heart will burn with fire. And once you recognize that fire, the flame continues to grow. The flame of love grows just like trees; the flame of love bears flowers and fruits, just like trees.

But what you think is love is not love. That is why such strange experiences happen. Someone says to you: "How beautiful you are! I love you so much, and there is no woman like you in the whole universe." And you never object: "You have no right to say such things, because you do not know the women of the whole universe." When such beautiful things are said, one completely forgets their irrationality.

These people recognize them from films, novels - but all these dialogues mean nothing. They just mean, "Let's go to bed!" But since we are civilized people, we cannot say to anyone, "Let's go to bed," without some introduction, without a little preface. The woman will run to the police and say, "This man is telling me something very ugly!" But if you continue to be civilized, first some ice cream - it cools the heart - bring roses, say some sweet nonsense ... Both understand that in the end everything will end with a morning hangover, headache, migraine, and in the morning you look at each other awkwardly: what did you do in bed? One will hide behind a newspaper, as if reading it, and the other will start making tea or coffee, just to somehow forget what happened. Further Mirdad says:

A man enslaved by a woman's love, or a woman enslaved by a man's love, are equally unfit for the precious crown of liberty.

The moment love becomes attachment, love becomes a relationship. The moment love becomes demanding, it is a prison. She destroyed your freedom; you can't fly to the sky, you're in a cage. And it's interesting... I'm especially interested. People wonder what I do alone in my room. And I also wonder - what are all these people doing together? Alone, I'm completely at home. If there is someone else, there are problems; something will happen. If there is another, silence cannot be maintained: the other will ask something, say something, do something, make you do something. Moreover, if the same person continues constantly, day after day...

The man who invented the double bed was one of mankind's greatest enemies. Even in bed - no freedom! You can't move; the other is always there. And in most cases, the other takes up most of the space. If you manage to get a little space, you're in luck - and remember, the other is constantly growing. It's a very strange world where women continue to grow and men shrink. And the man is to blame for everything - he makes these women fat, pregnant. More problems lie ahead. If two persons, male and female, are placed together, a third will soon appear. If he doesn't show up, the neighbors get worried, "What's the matter? Why doesn't the baby show up?"

I lived with many people, in many places. I was surprised - why are all people so worried about creating problems for others? If somebody is not married, they worry, "Why don't you get married?" - as if marriage is some kind of universal law that must be followed. Exhausted by everyone and everyone, a person begins to think that it is better for him to get married - at least all these people will stop tormenting him. But this is a mistake: as soon as you get married, they start asking: "When will the child be?"

Now this is a very difficult problem. It is not in your hands: a child may be born, may not be born, and he will be born in due time. But these people will pester you... "A house is not a house without a child." It's true - because without a child, the house seems so silent; with the advent of the child, the house seems like a crazy house! And the more children, the more problems multiply.

I have been sitting silently in my room all my life. I don't bother anyone, I never ask anyone: "Why don't you get married, why don't you have a baby?" Because I don't think it's civilized to ask such questions, to inquire about such things; it would mean interfering with the freedom of another.

And people go on living with their wives, with their children, and as the presence of each new member of the family, which becomes more and more, will disturb a lot, you will automatically become less and less sensitive. You hear less, see less, smell less, taste less.

You are not using the senses to their full extent. That's why when someone falls in love for the first time, you can see it: their face lights up. There is a new freshness, a dance, in his gait; you see that his tie is properly tied, his clothes are well ironed. Something happened. A week later boredom sets in again; you see again that the dust has begun to collect again. The light turned off; again he drags himself, does not dance. The flowers are still blooming, but he does not see their beauty. The stars provoke him, but he does not look at the sky.

There are millions of people who have never looked up; their eyes are glued to the ground, as if they are afraid that some star will fall on them. Very few people like to sleep under the open sky, with the stars... - fear of infinity, loneliness, darkness.

And millions of people go on living deep inside feeling that if they were alone, if they didn't care about love and marriage... but now there's nothing to be done. You can't reverse everything; you can't be single again. In fact, you can become so used to prison that you can no longer leave it. This is a kind of security; she is comfortable, though unhappy. The blanket is rotten, but the double bed ... - at least you are not alone in your misfortune, someone shares it with you. In fact, someone creates it for you, and you create it for him.

Love must be of such a quality that it brings freedom, not new chains; love gives you wings and encourages you to fly as high as possible.

But a man and a woman, merged into one in love, inseparable, indefinable, are most worthy of this award.

This "Book of Mirdad" is one of those books that will live forever - or until the last human being disappears from the earth. But the man who wrote this book has been completely forgotten. Mirdad is fiction, Mirdad is the name of the hero of the book. The man who wrote this book... his name was Michael Naimi, but that name is not significant. This is a great book, and it is bigger than himself. All his life he tried to create something similar again, but failed. He wrote many other books, but The Book of Mirdad remains Everest. The other books are little hills and don't make much of a difference.

If love is understood as a meeting of two souls - not just a sexual, biological meeting of male and female hormones - then love can give you great wings, great insights into life. And then for the first time lovers can be friends. They usually remain enemies in disguise.

Religions and so-called saints who have fled the world, cowards who cannot face and face life, have poisoned the whole idea of ​​love as the only spirituality. They have condemned sex, and with the condemnation of sex, love has also been condemned, because people think that sex and love are synonymous. This is not true. Sex is a very small part of your biological energy. Love is your whole being, love is your soul. You will have to learn that sex is only the need of the society, the race to continue - you can participate in this if you want. But love cannot be avoided. The moment you start avoiding love, all your creativity dies and all your senses lose their sensitivity; You are covered in a thick layer of dust. You become the living dead.

Yes, you breathe, you eat, and you go to the office every day until death comes and frees you from the boredom that you have carried with you all your life.

If you have nothing but sex, you have nothing at all; then you are only an instrument for reproduction of biology, of the universe. You are just a machine, a factory. But if you can comprehend love as your true being and love for another person as a deep friendship, as a dance of two hearts together in such synchronicity that they almost become one, you don't need any other spirituality. You found her.

Love leads to the ultimate experience - called god, called absolute, called truth. These are just names. In fact, the ultimate has no name; it is nameless, but love leads to it.

If you only think about sex and never come to the realization of love, you are just letting yourself down. Yes, you will have children, live in misery and play cards, watch movies and go to football games, and have great experiences of futility, boredom, war, with a constant background of anxiety, which the existentialists call Angst*. But you will never know the real beauty of existence, the real silence and peace of the cosmos.

Love can make it possible.

But remember, love knows no boundaries. Love cannot be jealous because love cannot possess. You own someone - that means you killed someone and turned it into property.

You can only own things. Love gives freedom. Love is freedom.

Why is it that people who are happy alone are more likely to form good relationships with others?At present, the traditional model of the family is breaking down, children have sexual experience at an early age, half of all marriages in developing countries end in divorce.In his book, Osho explains why these phenomena take place and shows how they can be seen not as a cause for concern, but as a cause for joy.

In a post-ideological world where traditional morality is clearly outdated, we have a great opportunity to take a fresh look at our lives and set other priorities in order to bring freshness to our lives and relationships with other people. Osho also shows how a person can fully realize himself both in his personal life and in public life.This book is a provocation and a guide to a fresh start in life.

Foreword

In Plato's Symposium, Socrates says:

A person practicing the mysteries of love will come into contact not with a reflection, but with the truth itself. To know this blessing of human nature, there is no helper better than love.

All my life I've been talking about love; there are thousands of different expressions, but the message remains the same. Just one fundamental thing to remember: this is not the love that you think is love. Neither Socrates speaks of such love, nor do I.

The love you know is nothing more than a biological urge; it is determined by your biology and hormones. It is very easy to change it - a small change in chemistry and the love that you thought was the "higher truth" will simply disappear. You call "love" sexual passion. This distinction must be remembered.

Socrates says, "A person who practices the mysteries of love..." There are no mysteries in sexual passion. This is a simple biological game; every animal, every bird, every tree knows it. Of course, love that has sacraments is completely different from the ordinary love you know.

A person practicing the mysteries of love will come into contact not with a reflection, but with the truth itself.

This love, which can become a contact with truth itself, arises from the consciousness - not from the body, but from the deepest inner core. Lust comes from the body, love comes from the mind. But people do not know their consciousness, and this misunderstanding goes on and on - their bodily lust is considered love.

Very few people in the world have known love. These are the people who have become so silent, so peaceful... and in that silence and peace they have come into contact with their deepest inner being, with their soul. When you touch your soul, love becomes not a relationship for you, but simply follows you like a shadow. Wherever you move, whoever you are with, you love.

What you call love right now is directed at someone, limited by someone. And love is not something that can be limited. You can hold it in your open hands, but not in your fist. The moment your fingers are clenched into a fist, they are empty. The moment your hands are open, the whole existence is available to you.

Socrates is right: he who knows love also knows truth, because these are only two names for the same experience. And if you have not known truth, remember that you have not known love either.

To know this blessing of human nature, there is no helper better than love.

LOVE

You will be surprised to know that the English word love comes from the Sanskrit word lobha; lobha means "greed." Maybe it was just a coincidence that the English word "love" grew out of a Sanskrit root meaning "greed," but I have a feeling it can't just be a coincidence. Perhaps there is something more mysterious behind this, perhaps there is some alchemical reason. In fact, learned and “digested” greed becomes love. It is greed, lobha, that becomes love when it is well digested.

To love is to share; to be greedy is to accumulate. Greed only wants and never gives, while love only knows how to give and asks nothing in return; She shares without conditions. Maybe there is some alchemical reason why lobha becomes love in the English language. Lobha becomes love as far as inner alchemy is concerned.

cooing

Love does not mean what is usually understood by it. Ordinary love is only a masquerade; there is something else behind it. True love is a completely different thing. Ordinary love is a requirement, real love is maturity. She knows nothing about the requirements; she knows only the joy of generosity.

There is too much pretense in ordinary love. True love is unfeigned; she just is. Ordinary love becomes nauseating, cloying, sticky, what you call "cooing." She's sickening, she's nauseating. True love is nourishment that strengthens your soul. Ordinary love feeds your ego - not the real you, but not the real you. The unreal always feeds the unreal, remember; and the present always feeds the present.

Become a servant of true love - and that means become a servant of love in its highest purity. Give, share everything you have, share and enjoy what you share. Do not do it as if from a sense of duty - then all joy will disappear. And don't feel like you're doing another a favor, never, not even for a moment. Love never does favors. In fact, on the contrary, when someone accepts your love, you feel obligated you. Love is grateful to be accepted.

Love never expects any reward, not even gratitude. If gratitude comes from the other side, love is always surprised – it is a pleasant surprise because there are no expectations.

You can't disappoint true love because it has no expectations in the first place. And you can't satisfy fake love, because it's rooted in expectations, and no matter what you do, it's never going to be enough. If expectations are too high, no one will be able to meet them. Thus, fake love always brings disappointment, while real love always brings fulfillment.

OSHO is a registered trademark and used with permission from the Osho International Foundation; www.osho.com/trademarks

All rights reserved.

Published under Agreement with Osho International Foundation, Banhofstr/52, 8001 Zurich, Switzerland, www.osho.com

© Electronic version of the book prepared by Litres (www.litres.ru), 2014

Foreword

In Plato's Symposium, Socrates says:

A person practicing the mysteries of love will come into contact not with a reflection, but with the truth itself. To know this blessing of human nature, there is no helper better than love.

All my life I've been talking about love; there are thousands of different expressions, but the message remains the same. Just one fundamental thing to remember: this is not the love that you think is love. Neither Socrates speaks of such love, nor do I.

The love you know is nothing more than a biological urge; it is determined by your biology and hormones. It's very easy to change - a little change in chemistry and the love you thought was "higher truth" will simply disappear. You call "love" sexual passion. This distinction must be remembered.

Socrates says, "A person who practices the mysteries of love..." There are no mysteries in sexual passion. This is a simple biological game; every animal, every bird, every tree knows it. Of course, love that has sacraments is completely different from the ordinary love you know.

A person practicing the mysteries of love will come into contact not with a reflection, but with the truth itself.

This love, which can become a contact with truth itself, arises from consciousness - not from the body, but from the deepest inner core. Lust comes from the body, love comes from the mind. But people do not know their consciousness, and this misunderstanding goes on and on - their bodily lust is considered love.

Very few people in the world have known love. These are the people who have become so silent, so peaceful... and in that silence and peace they have come into contact with their deepest inner being, with their soul. When you connect with your soul, love becomes not a relationship for you, but simply follows you like a shadow. Wherever you move, whoever you are with, you love.

What you call love right now is directed at someone, limited by someone. And love is not something that can be limited. You can hold it in your open hands, but not in your fist. The moment your fingers are clenched into a fist, they are empty. The moment your hands are open, the whole existence is available to you.

Socrates is right: he who knows love also knows truth, because these are only two names for the same experience. And if you have not known truth, remember that you have not known love either.

To know this blessing of human nature, there is no helper better than love.

You will be surprised to know that the English word love, love, comes from the Sanskrit word lobha; lobha means "greed". Maybe it was just a coincidence that the English word "love" grew out of a Sanskrit root meaning "greed," but I have a feeling it can't just be a coincidence. Perhaps there is something more mysterious behind this, perhaps there is some alchemical reason. In fact, learned and “digested” greed becomes love. It is greed, lobha, that becomes love when it is well digested.

To love is to share; to be greedy is to accumulate. Greed only wants and never gives, while love only knows how to give and asks nothing in return; She shares without conditions. Maybe there is some alchemical reason why lobha becomes love in English. Lobha becomes love as far as inner alchemy is concerned.

cooing

Love does not mean what is usually understood by it. Ordinary love is only a masquerade; there is something else behind it. True love is a completely different thing. Ordinary love is a requirement, real love is maturity. She knows nothing about the requirements; she knows only the joy of generosity.

There is too much pretense in ordinary love. True love is unfeigned; she just is. Ordinary love becomes nauseating, cloying, sticky, what you call "cooing." She's sickening, she's nauseating. True love is nourishment that strengthens your soul. Ordinary love feeds your ego - not the real you, but not the real you. The unreal always feeds the unreal, remember; and the present always feeds the present.

Become a servant of true love - and that means become a servant of love in its highest purity. Give, share everything you have, share and enjoy what you share. Do not do it as if from a sense of duty - then all joy will disappear. And don't feel like you're doing another a favor, never, not even for a moment. Love never does favors. In fact, on the contrary, when someone accepts your love, you feel obligated you. Love is grateful to be accepted.

Love never expects any reward, not even gratitude. If gratitude comes from the other side, love is always surprised – it is a pleasant surprise because there are no expectations.

You can't disappoint true love because it has no expectations in the first place. And you can't satisfy fake love because it's rooted in expectations and no matter what you do, it's never going to be enough. If expectations are too high, no one will be able to meet them. Thus, fake love always brings disappointment, and true love always brings fulfillment.

And when I say, “Become a servant of love,” I am not saying that you should become a servant of the one you love—no, not at all. I am not saying that you should become the servant of your beloved. I say become a servant love. Worship should be the pure idea of ​​love. Your beloved is only one form of this pure idea, and the whole existence is filled with nothing but millions of forms of the same pure idea. A flower is one idea, one form, the moon is another, your lover is a third...your child, mother, father, they are all forms, they are all waves in the ocean of love. But never become the servant of the beloved. Always remember, your lover is just a tiny expression.

Serve love through the beloved, so that you never become attached to the beloved. And when a person is not attached to the beloved, love reaches the highest peaks. The moment a person becomes attached, he starts falling down. Attachment is a kind of gravity, non-attachment is gracious. Fake love is another name for attachment; true love is rooted in detachment.

Fake love shows so much anxiety – it is always anxious. True love is attentive, but there is no concern in it. If you really love a person, you will be attentive to his real needs, but you will not care about his stupid, stupid fantasies. You will take care of his needs as best you can, but you will not satisfy his imaginary desires. You will not satisfy anything that can hurt him. For example, you will not satisfy his ego, although his ego will be demanding. A person who is too caring, attached, will satisfy the demands of the ego - which means poisoning his beloved. Attention means you see what is not a real need but an ego need; you won't satisfy it.

Love shows compassion, but not concern. Sometimes it's cruel, because sometimes compassion has to be cruel. Sometimes it is very detached. If detachment helps, be detached. Sometimes it is very cold; if you have to be cold, be cold. Whatever the need, love for it is attentive - but not preoccupied. She will not satisfy any unrealistic needs; she will not conform to any poisonous ideas in the other.