For many people, work is not only a source for replenishing the family budget and an anchor of stability, but also a favorite pastime, which is a way of self-expression and brings a certain joy in life. Unfortunately, work is far from always associated only with bright and pleasant emotions: relationships with colleagues can force even a calm person to slam the door.

How to put in place arrogant colleagues?

5 responses to a colleague if he constantly finds fault at work

Does your “comrade” at work vigilantly watches your every step, baselessly finds fault with every little thing, exhausts you with attacks, reproaches and jokes? Do not rush to splash lemonade in the face of the impudent person or send him on a long journey to a known address - first make sure that all cultural methods have been exhausted.

• "Do you want a cup of coffee?" And have a heart to heart chat. You will be surprised, but goodwill sometimes not only discourages the impudent and deprives him of "thorns", but also quickly solves the problem. In the end, adult adequate people are always able to find a common language.
• Be flexible and seek compromise. Even if nothing happens, your conscience will be clear - at least you tried.
• "You have parsley stuck in your teeth." Reduce all attacks to a joke. With a smile, but categorically "move out" from any reproach. And just keep doing your thing. On the principle of "smile and wave." For the 10th time, a colleague will get tired of your reciprocal jokes and “non-action” (the best answer to boors is precisely non-action!) And will find another victim for himself.
• "Your suggestions?". And really - let show and tell. Give the person the opportunity to express himself, and give yourself the opportunity to move on to a normal dialogue with a colleague. Calmly listen to his objections and suggestions. Also calmly agree or, in case of disagreement, arguedly and, again, calmly voice your point of view.
• “And indeed. And how did I not realize? Thanks for noticing! We'll fix it." You don't have to go into the bottle. The most bloodless option is to agree, smile, do as you are asked. Especially if you are wrong, and a colleague is a more experienced person in your work.

5 right steps if a work colleague is following you and reporting to the authorities

Is there a "mishandled Cossack" in your team? And more and more for your soul? If you are an exemplary worker and have a strong habit of keeping your mouth shut, then you don’t have to worry. However, knowing about the rules of conduct with "snitches" does not hurt.

• We place a colleague in an information vacuum. We discuss all important and personal issues only outside of work. Let a comrade starve without food for denunciations. And, of course, we approach our work responsibly. If you come after noon, run away long before the end of the working day, and spend most of your working time in the “smoking room”, then the boss will define you as an indefinite vacation without slanders.
• We act in reverse. We calmly and confidently launch the "misinformation", and let the scammer warm his long ears and spread this misinformation around the company. The minimum that awaits him is a reprimand from his superiors. The method is radical, and it may well turn out to be a double-edged sword, so choose the material for the "misinformation" very carefully.
• "Who is there?". We ignore the colleague himself and his attempts to ruin your life. As for the authorities, there is no need to worry here: no one likes informers. Therefore, do not try to run after a fellow informer to the head and insert your 5 kopecks. Just "sit by the river and wait for the corpse of your enemy to float past you."
• "Well, shall we talk?" A heart-to-heart conversation is a very real solution to the problem. But without superiors and in the presence of witnesses - other colleagues. And preferably, those colleagues who are on your side. In the process of an intimate conversation, you can explain to a colleague that everyone knows about his actions, that no one supports these actions, and that at all times the fate of informers was unenviable (everyone chooses the tone of conversation and epithets to the best of their intelligence). It is worth noting that as a result of such conversations, informers very often realize their mistakes and take the path of correction. The main thing is to convey to the person that in your friendly and strong team with such life “principles” they do not linger for a long time.
• To hell with delicacy, we count the snitch ribs! This is the worst case scenario. He will not increase your "karma" unambiguously. Therefore, emotions are aside, sober thinking and calmness are above all. And even better, humor can help relieve stress. It is humor, not sarcasm and skillfully inserted "hairpins".

In the matter of denunciations, it is always harder than with ordinary rudeness. Ham can, if desired, be pulled over to his side, calmed down, brought to a conversation, turned into a friend from a foe. But as a rule, pride does not allow anyone to be friends with a snitch. Therefore, if a snake has wound up in your friendly team, deprive it of poison immediately.

A colleague is frankly rude - 5 ways to besiege an insolent person

We meet boors everywhere - at home, at work, in transport, etc. But if a bus boor can be ignored and forgotten as soon as you got off at your stop, then a boor colleague is sometimes a real problem. After all, you won’t change jobs because of him.

How to besiege an insolent?

• We respond to every boorish attack with a joke. So the nerves will be more whole, and your authority among colleagues will be higher. The main thing is not to cross the line in your jokes. "Below the belt" and black humor is not an option. Don't stoop to the level of a colleague.
• We turn on the voice recorder. As soon as the boor opens his mouth, we take out a voice recorder from our pocket (or turn it on on the phone) and with the words "Wait, wait, I'm recording," we press the record button. No need to scare the boor that you will take this audio collection to the boss, record "For history!" Defiantly and without fail with a smile.
• If a boor asserts himself in this way at your expense, deprive him of such an opportunity. Does he pester you during your lunch break? Eat at other times. Does it interfere with your workflow? Transfer to another department or work schedule. Is there no such possibility? Ignore attacks and see point 1.
• "Do you want to talk about it?" Every time they try to piss you off, “turn on” your inner psychiatrist. And look at your opponent with the forgiving eyes of a psychiatrist. Specialists never contradict their violent patients. They stroke their heads, smile affectionately and agree with everything the patients say. For especially violent ones - a straitjacket (the camera of the phone will help you, and the entire series of videos on YouTube).
• We grow personally. Take care of yourself - your work, hobbies, growth. With personal growth, all boors, scammers and gossips remain somewhere outside your flight. Like ants underfoot.

5 answers on how to deal with a gossip colleague

Of course, everyone is thrown off balance by false rumors spread behind their backs. At this moment you feel "naked" and betrayed. Especially if the information about you spread at the speed of light is true.

How to behave?

• Pretend that you are not aware of the situation, and continue to work calmly. They argue and stop. As you know, "everything passes", and this too.
• Join the conversation about yourself. With humor and jokes. Take part in the gossip and boldly add a couple of shocking details. Even if the gossip doesn't stop, at least take the pressure off. Further work will be much easier.
• Point out to a colleague specific articles of the Criminal Code on libel which he violates with his gossip. Doesn't understand well? File a suit for the protection of honor and dignity.
• Every day, deliberately and defiantly toss a colleague a new topic for gossip. Moreover, the topics should be such that in a week the team is completely tired of them.
• Talk to the boss. If all else fails, then this is the only option left. Just don't rush into your boss's office and do the same thing your colleague does. Calmly turn to your superiors for help, without naming names - let them advise you on how to get out of this situation with honor without harming the general microclimate in the team.

There are situations when a colleague terribly infuriates. Irritation causes anything in a person: behavior, manners, actions, ridiculous statements. But the main problem is that such conflicts at work are difficult to resolve. Scandals or accusations are not a way out of the situation. You have to start by working on yourself. It is important to change the attitude to the stimulus. Change your negative to positive. Sometimes psychoanalysis, art therapy and group classes help.

If a colleague is annoying, you will have to do hard work on yourself

Find the cause of the irritation

According to statistics, only 10% of people are not annoyed by their colleagues. They are focused on the task and simply do not notice others. These are people who work with machines, installations and do not have direct contact with other workers.

About 20% of people are constantly nervous because of their colleagues, and up to 70% from time to time. Most often, irritation is caused by such qualities:

• duplicity;
• hypocrisy;
• arrogance;
• selfishness;
• irresponsibility;
• rudeness;
• faux pas, etc.

The most popular are stupidity and unprofessionalism. Indeed, it is difficult to work with a colleague if he constantly asks you about something. It only pretends to understand the workspace. He does not know elementary things, which is why he constantly asks colleagues questions. Usually such a person does not like or does not know how to learn new things. They are trying to "survive" him from work.

Often irritants are human actions: lies, smoking, frequent tea drinking, grumbling, spreading rumors, idle chatter. But true workaholics are most annoyed by laziness. A colleague works less than the rest, and everyone receives the same salary. Instead of working, the employee is surfing social networks, flipping through magazines, watching videos, talking to someone on the phone, etc.

Form a personal social circle

When some colleagues are annoying and others are not, it has to do with biological compatibility. Several employees of the company may have the same bad habits: banging a pen on the table, champing, laughing loudly, etc. But with some, an employee can calmly talk, drink tea together during a lunch break. And in others, anything can be the cause of irritation.

Women are more vulnerable. It is difficult for them to control themselves and their own emotions in moments of irritation. In most cases, they are also enraged by women.

Men have a higher level of self-control. If a colleague is a good specialist, is not afraid of hard work, delivers everything on time, then they will calmly transfer such an employee. Men will reduce communication during the working day and any contact with such a companion to a minimum and will work calmly.

Talk honestly with a colleague

If bad habits are an irritant, then you should tell a colleague about them. You can offer your own solutions to eliminate them. The main thing is not to keep feelings in yourself and learn to tolerantly voice what you don’t like.

It happens that such aspirations of colleagues are annoying:

• get a promotion;
• get a salary increase
• become the leader of a large project;
• be appointed department head, etc.

This is a manifestation of ordinary envy. It is important to recognize that a colleague is truly a professional in his field and deserves a promotion. It is necessary to think about what the envious person lacks to achieve such a goal. You need to analyze the character traits and qualities of an ambitious colleague and try to develop them in yourself. If the person is lazy, offer the boss to pay a salary for performance. This can motivate a colleague. And also the director will know who to monitor, and if the employee does not cope with his duties, he will be fired. This is a great opportunity to prove yourself and show your high professionalism.

A colleague's desire to earn more can cause envy

Analyze your behavior

But before expressing dissatisfaction with a colleague, analyze your own behavior. If conflicts in the team arise because of personal qualities, then you should discuss this with colleagues. We need to come up with a tolerant way of expressing all discontent so as not to offend anyone.

Being alone with yourself, use the method of free association. In the process, you need to say everything that you think. Don't filter statements. Do not forget to record everything on video or a voice recorder. Listen carefully to the recording later. This will help to identify the complexes and the true causes of irritation.

Do a carryover analysis. It happens that childhood feelings and fears are transferred to a current colleague. And it’s not he who infuriates, but an image from the past. A detailed analysis of the behavior, character traits, and professional qualities of the annoying employee will help to cope with this. Learn to notice positive qualities. You should not be limited by your own skills, views, habits.

Do the work afterwards. It consists of understanding the causes of conflicts and finding a way to change the behavior pattern.

Psychologists advise to simply focus on the work process. Then the person will stop paying attention to irritants, and productivity will be high. As a result - a healthy mind and good mood.

Get rid of emotions with art therapy

Art therapy is a direction in psychotherapy based on creativity. Includes the following types of art:

• choreography;
• modeling;
• vocals;
• playing musical instruments;
• knitting or embroidery, etc.

You need to choose the kind of art that most impresses and likes the patient. The main goal of art therapy is to learn self-knowledge through art. The method of sublimation is used - the transfer of internal conflicts to the product of creativity.

Depict your experiences on a piece of paper, if isotherapy is taken as the basis. Pick different shades of colors. You can even draw elementary shapes, strokes, lines. Draw a colleague, his habits, actions, other things that cause great irritation.

After that, do whatever you want with the drawing: burn it, crush it, tear it, smear it with another paint, trample your feet, etc. It is important that subsequently all the negativity goes away, and it is replaced by peace and peace of mind.

You can not spoil your creation, but place it in a conspicuous place. View the drawing from different angles and in different moods. This will help to understand all the problematic aspects.

Art therapy helps to relieve fatigue and stress, increase self-esteem, understand one's own thoughts and fears, harmonize the inner world, and normalize relations in society. The main thing - do not hesitate to draw, even if there are no such skills and talents. In art therapy, the creative process itself is important.

Art therapy with the help of musical instruments will relieve stress

Learn new patterns of behavior

You need to forget about past experiences, feelings, negative experiences. It is important to focus on the present and the current.

Exposure therapy is carried out only under the supervision of a psychotherapist. In the process of treatment, the doctor shows the patient how he behaves with a colleague. It displays different behaviors. This technique is called "behavior-targeting".

The doctor shows the client "behavior-hindrance" - how he should behave in moments of strong tension, stress, if a colleague irritates. Most often, this is a calm person who does not pay attention to strangers and works hard.

The therapist invites the patient to portray his vision of "ideal behavior" during irritation. Emphasis is placed on facial expressions, speech, character traits, reactions to the words of a colleague.

The work is carried out on the basis of 3 techniques:

1. hidden sensitization. The doctor shows the patient how to properly enter a state of complete relaxation. After that, he asks to close his eyes and remember a colleague who infuriates. And again imagine what causes peace.
2. Gradual exposure therapy. Sessions are slow and relaxed. Additionally, calm, quiet, instrumental music can be turned on and an aroma lamp with lavender, mint, chamomile oils can be lit. In such an environment, you need to deal with the causes of irritation. It is necessary to understand what exactly causes such a reaction in the patient and such behavior.
3. flood method. A situation is being played out that should provoke aggression and hysteria in the patient. In the process, the doctor observes the patient's reaction to stimuli. If no violations are found, the course of treatment is completed. Or another treatment technique is chosen. The "flood" method is used at the end of the course of treatment.

The patient's task is to change his attitude towards a colleague who infuriates. You need to learn to notice positive qualities. After all, irritation appears due to personal experiences of a person.

The "flood" method is characterized by the introduction of the patient into a state of hysteria

Talk about feelings in group therapy

During group therapy, a person is in a small group. Participants are united by one problem. The therapist suggests imagining that all participants in therapy are colleagues. Several scenes are played out, where:

• everyone annoys each other;
• one person infuriates the others;
• a group of 3-4 people annoys the rest.

Each participant should be in the role of an annoying colleague. He copies his demeanor. Shows scenes that often happen in a working atmosphere. It is important for him to look at the reaction of other participants. This will help you see the situation from the outside and choose the most successful position for yourself.

Another session is based on the opposite effect - the patient simply shows his attitude towards a colleague who infuriates. Participants in therapy can make their comments, give advice. The therapist must control everything and, if necessary, stop discussions.

Important note - all participants must be active and sincere. Inaction is the worst thing in healing.

Group therapy is a great way to solve a problem

It happens that a person loves his job, but he is very infuriated by a colleague at work. Infuriates every breath, perfume, clothing style, demeanor, thoughts. But if you concentrate on the workflow, this can be overlooked.

Psychoanalysis is important. It happens that the reason for such behavior is not at all in a colleague, but in a patient. Sometimes art therapy works. If this does not work, you can go to an exposure or group therapy session. Under the supervision of a psychotherapist, there will be changes in the reaction to the stimulus, behavior, type of thinking, etc.

What to do if a colleague at work constantly tries to set you up?

you should not stir up a conflict, you need to try not to substitute, maneuver between all the dirty tricks that your colleague does.

Good day! I think that it is necessary to fight this undoubtedly, but in this case it is not worth making excuses, not complaining. To begin with, I would have talked with a colleague, having previously taken care to record the conversation on a dictaphone. I would speak directly and openly. That they say I know that you are trying in every possible way to set me up in front of the leadership, this is expressed in this and that, why you are doing this and what you are achieving, etc. etc. I would explain to the person that it is not very good to do this and that if there is at least one more such case, then I will be forced to talk to the management. Well, if it does not take action, then I would talk to the management. And again, right. About the fact that a person builds all sorts of intrigues, trying to constantly denigrate me, etc. I would let you listen to the dictaphone recording, if there would be something interesting. That this interferes with the workflow, creates a nervous environment, and if the management does not take action, I will be forced to look for another job. But you can talk about this about everything if you yourself are valued as an employee. Otherwise, the leadership will be up to the light bulb, as they say.

Lysinka, You need to decide on whose side you are - on your side or on the side of a colleague. You feel sorry for him, he is all in loans, take pity on yourself better. This person wants to walk over your head, don't give in. Delicately and tastefully show what it is. Open your boss's eyes. There were very interesting cases described above - from going on vacation to communicating with such people in an official manner, where you can always see when and what information was transmitted. You know, you can’t stand up for yourself with words, you need evidence. If you now put this person in his place, the team will look at you with respect and with caution, and no one will dare to climb up at your expense.

First, figure out the reasons. You should not quarrel with him, anything happens. But if everything was done deliberately, in order to compromise you in front of your boss, then you must, firstly, try to make sure that your work does not depend on him, and, secondly, communicate less with this person, while not letting him out. out of sight. Because the intrigues on his part can continue. Be on your guard.

Talk directly with a colleague, talk about this situation with management, in case of problems at work because of a colleague. And try in every possible way not to succumb to provocations, to be very attentive at work and not to be substituted yourself.

You need to make sure that he does not contact you anymore. Find his sore spot. It is not necessary for everyone to know about it. You have to make sure that only he understands. You can also substitute it, but you need to substitute it gracefully. Think.

Keep a distance from this colleague; do not trust him with anything, neither professional nor personal information; work so as not to get to the bottom; make friends with other colleagues

Ask your boss to delimit your duties, if possible, to outline the scope of work performed. If this cannot be done, then there is only one option - to talk face-to-face with a colleague, try to find a compromise, if it is not possible to find out and eliminate the cause of the set-up - then just try to work ahead of the competitor so that the set-up no longer affects the completed task. And explanations are not needed. The main thing for Bos is the result, but someone who set him up will not be interested

You just need to take it and put it on. Or try not to fall for his cunning ideas, and, over time, he himself will suffer from them.

I had one such colleague. Constantly tried to set me up in almost everything. For example, I could start making a report only when she gives me the data. She kept dragging it out all the time, giving incorrect information. And the authorities assured me that they handed everything over to me or was surprisedquot ; that they didn’t understand at all why I didn’t ask for this data. Trying to just talk to her was unsuccessful. Complaining is also pointless. I just began to ask the non for information either in writing, through the reception, or by e-mail, so that I could track the date and time. Well, she began to negotiate with her only in the presence of her superiors. Helped. Now she doesn't work for us.

Apparently, Providence sent you such a person to raise the level of your professional skills to such a level that no one, ever, could find fault with anything in your work.

If you are sure that you are right, then make his unfair nit-picking the property of the entire team.

Do not make excuses and do not complain - only openness and publicity.

Only concrete facts.

Let the collective know the true essence of this person.

If you want specific help - write in a personal, I will try to help with more specific advice.

Talk to your boss if you are on good terms with him and explain the whole situation, if this does not help, you need to act!!!

I had a case when one employee put me in a not very good light in front of the boss ... well, he joked, somehow offended me. He shoved all his work to me. I'm tired of this!!! I decided to do something to get him fired!

When he was sitting on the Internet doing nothing, I mentioned this to the boss.

He didn't have a job. And when I went on vacation, without me, he could not do anything ... because. does not know the 1s program and he did not have it. In general, without me, he is zero.

The boss saw this and raised the question of dismissal. Karoch fired him! my happiness knew no bounds! Everyone thinks that thanks to me he was fired.

If you want, you can try hard to get the unwanted employee fired!

do not pay attention. everyone substitutes everyone. only some do it subtly and imperceptibly, others do it as best they can. the ancient Romans noticed and said - man is a wolf to man. work so that the mosquito does not undermine the nose. and the substitutes will be disarmed.

Put on a mask and in the evening give him a hump!

If you are annoyed by a colleague with whom you often have to deal with due to work necessity, try to immediately establish certain boundaries with him in communication. You don't have to be polite and approach someone you don't like, you don't have to do that at all. On the contrary, keep your distance from this employee. Communicate strictly at work.

When you don't like that a person violates your personal space, state it directly. Say that you are much more comfortable communicating at a certain distance, and ask that you continue to maintain the specified distance. You may have to remind the person of your agreement a couple of times, but in the end, if you have an adequate person in front of you, you will achieve the desired effect.

Perhaps you are annoyed by the way your colleague communicates. If he shows intemperance and allows himself to get personal, do not hesitate to stop him and remind him that you are at work, where you should show less emotions, especially negative ones. Don't be afraid of conflict. If you show calmness and tact, the truth will be on your side. As a last resort, you can ask management to put you in a link with other people.

Be wiser

Try to remain calm, even if your colleague's behavior pisses you off. Imagine a wall between you that does not allow the negativity coming from a person to reach you. Perhaps such visualization will help you remain indifferent in the presence of an annoying person. Do not succumb to provocations from the outside. Be stronger and wiser.

Try to better understand the person you don't like. Maybe you are too critical of him. Try to put yourself in the place of your colleague. Think about the fact that he may have objective reasons to behave in a certain way. Be patient with others. Maybe what annoys you about a person is that he is completely different from you. This attitude is not entirely fair.

Do not take to heart what happens to you during the performance of work duties. Realize that work is not your whole life. Remember that you are a free person and have the right to independently change your place of work or profession. Sometimes understanding this relieves unnecessary tension and makes it easier to relate to people with whom you have to communicate on duty.

Colleagues at work, although they look like adults, sometimes behave like children at school - they gossip, make friends against someone, unite in companies and cry into your vest. Yes, you yourself, most likely, are not inferior to them in this part. It's not worth discounting all this "kindergarten" - if you strive for success, then work takes up a significant part of your life. Colleagues are your second family. They, like relatives, are not chosen, but somehow one must live with them.

warriors

The reason for the fragmentation of employees of one company may be unspoken hostility between departments, artificially created rivalry or mutual hostility. How bad it is for the development of the company - let the one who manages this company decide. As for your career, working in a zone of constant warfare can harden you, or it can turn into serious trouble. Most of the office wars arise from scratch, but they are often started by people for whom squabbles become the meaning of life and almost the only entertainment.

The cunning and cautious act on the sly, fixing petty dirty tricks and spreading gossip. The impudent or desperately unfortunate do not hesitate to openly feud, constantly looking for reasons for conflict. At the same time, those of them who have charisma or professional authority (after all, nothing prevents a person with a frankly bad character from being a good specialist in his field) are able to gather around him a “retinue” that, with more or less enthusiasm, can join the war or, on at worst, in mobbing.

It is easy to guess that for the most part office warriors are people in whose life not everything goes well (problems in their personal lives, childhood injuries, complexes).

Remember this the next time your fists itch to punch a colleague who is poisoning your existence in the eye. It is almost impossible to come to an agreement with these representatives of the office fauna (they can only be helped by a psychologist or someone close to whom they are ready to “talk out” and thus relieve themselves of the burden of their personal problems). It remains to avoid and regret them.

Pets

This also includes relatives, lovers, children of friends, friends of children and everyone whom the authorities evaluate not only and not so much in terms of professional effectiveness. To understand how dangerous they are, remember the hero Andrei Myagkov from the movie Office Romance, who tried to establish an informal relationship with his boss. In the film, of course, everything ended well, but the scene of the scandal between the gorelovelas and the “mymra” has much more to do with reality. A very instructive scene.

At first glance, if a person is doing well and a career is being built, he has no reason to harm his colleagues. In addition, success is contagious - this is known - and friendship with a colleague warmed under the wing of the boss opens up so many opportunities.

The trouble is that favoritism relationships are inherently unprofessional, and therefore any participation in them puts your career at risk. In addition, the presence of favorites indicates that in everything related to work, the boss’s emotions prevail towards work. The next time the wrong fly bites him, love can easily be replaced by disgrace.

The worst that can happen is that the boss will lose his position. For former favorites, this, of course, will be a blow, but the team will be spared from such an unpleasant phenomenon. The worst thing is that pets will begin to use their exclusive position for personal gain. If such behavior in the company is not the norm, the first to be hit will be just those who themselves have become friends with them. It’s not worth it to make pets angry and upset over trifles, but it’s better to stay away from them.

Former friends

You can still smoke together and laugh at jokes from the Internet, but when it comes to work, you turn into rivals. Familiar situation? You have been promoted and your colleagues have become your subordinates. You can't imagine worse.

There are many options for the development of events. Former co-workers may try to become your favorites and disrupt the workflow with informal relationships. They can be mortally offended and unite around an informal leader. They can generally sabotage in the firm belief that you have taken your post undeservedly.

Getting used to new roles can take several months, says business coach Leslie Sher. What can you do during this time to avoid destructive competition?

The first problem faced by newly-minted leaders is attempts to maintain friendship, which for the most part result in the claims of subordinates for informal relationships.

Earning the respect of subordinates is sometimes more difficult than the appreciation of the authorities who gave you the position.

Your former colleagues can be sure that you are just one of them, that everyone could get this post and this salary, and your appointment is the result of luck or maybe foul play. From offended colleagues, you can expect anything - up to sabotage. Common resentment unites no worse than common joy, and therefore informal leaders can become a real threat to stability in the team.

This problem is also relevant because in some areas of business, excellent specialists become leaders, but ... bad leaders. Meanwhile, the notorious leadership qualities are a necessary condition for the successful work of the team. If the formal leader "does not hold out", the team rallies around the informal leader.

A new job places new demands on you. Whether you like it or not, there will still be a certain line between you and your subordinates, even if you are not a fan of iron chain of command. Great responsibility requires, for example, a certain caution in conversations - now in every joke there is only a fraction of a joke.

Be extremely objective and honest. If you keep something back - the team is doomed to misunderstanding and conflicts. So tell the truth and only the truth, to the whole team or individual participants face to face.

You can make it clear to your former colleagues that you have not treated them worse. You don’t have to be seven spans in your forehead to understand that the bravado of a new position with a slight touch of army hazing will not bring you to good - this, of course, is not about that. Just find a way to show colleagues that all that has changed is your responsibilities and their accountability. The life of any team continues after hours - someone in the whole department goes to drink beer on Fridays, someone has picnics every summer, etc. Despite the fact that you have more work and problems, and less free time, do not neglect these customs.

Chatterboxes

If a colleague chats incessantly, sparing neither his own tongue nor your ears, this is not so bad. It is worse when his tongue is not only boneless, but also well suspended. This construction of the language allows you to talk innocent people and lead to sad consequences. For example, the victim turns into a wordless performer of someone else's work. If you are well-mannered and naturally delicate - consider that you are at risk. The inability to say “no” in time and the inability to “shut up” the talker, at best, will lead to the fact that other people's problems, joys and sorrows will force work out of your head, even if immediate duties are much more interesting than someone's chatter. In the worst case, you yourself will not notice how you take on someone else's work.

How to say no to a colleague

Many become victims of persistent colleagues because of natural modesty and inability to refuse. Saying “no” is really sometimes very difficult, especially for sensitive people. If you notice that you are already doing someone else's work for the umpteenth time, helping a colleague in matters that do not concern you and have generally turned into a “pack donkey”, finally learn how to say “no”:

Make sure you can refuse. That the request is not one of your direct duties, is not an assignment from the boss, etc.

Say "no" politely but firmly. If you really can't help, don't mislead a colleague with half-promises like "Maybe" or "I'll think about it."

Say that you will be happy to help in a different situation.

Ask what circumstances made a colleague ask for help. For example, you are asked to help update a database because a colleague alone cannot do it on time. You can refuse to work with the base, but help and convince your boss to move the deadline.

On a note:

You are not required to explain the reason for the refusal. Especially if the asker in general often "hunts" by shifting his affairs onto other people's shoulders. Word for word - and he will challenge any reasons. But in the end, you may just not want to help anyone. You have the right.

The more you say no, the easier it becomes to do so. On the one hand, this means that it is worth starting - and pretty soon it will be easier for you to overcome embarrassment and awkwardness. On the other hand, you can get carried away too much, and this is not good.

Still feeling embarrassed? Think why. Are you afraid to spoil the relationship, get an inadequate reaction? Or do you feel irreplaceable and don't want someone else to do it without you?

If you can’t immediately say “no” - at least do not rush to fulfill the request immediately.

A dangerous kind of talker is gossip. Gossip by itself can be useful, since they do not arise from scratch and always carry some information. However, becoming a link in the spread of gossip is hardly better than becoming its hero. And it's so hard to keep up.

We are hated

To whom do you ask the question “Which colleagues annoy you?” - everyone has a story about disgusting employees who interfered with life, work, and even ruined someone's successful career. However, it is possible that someone tells similar stories about you. In order to be hated, you do not need to make serious efforts and harm anyone - just start annoying others.

Who is not loved? Most of all - bores, gossips, ostentatious workaholics, inveterate debaters, flatterers, whiners, young mothers and pathological sluts.

The story of a pest who deliberately and systematically spoiled the life of her colleague who got her:

How we survived an unpleasant colleague

Once a colleague was brought to us - by pull. The girl's husband owned one of the offshore companies of the company, therefore, he was well acquainted with the CEO and decided to make a TV star out of his bored wife.

We would have gladly accepted her, but she was not very intelligent, information slowly reached her, and all the work had to be redone by others. One kind colleague, not particularly hiding, called her "stupid Kabardino-Balkarian horse." Do not ask why Kabardino-Balkarian. Of course, the girl complained to her superiors. But in the end, it became easier for her to just move to another edition.

Peace - peace

"Peace to the world, no war is needed" - this is the motto of the "Friendship" detachment.Pioneer slogan

You don't have to love your job and your colleagues, but if a war breaks out in the office, it's worth trying, if not making peace, then at least maintaining neutrality. Do not enter into career wars - this is what happens to those who dig a hole for others:

What happens to those who dig a hole for others

I had a colleague who liked to appropriate other people's achievements.

It just so happened that I was his boss and did not interfere with his desire to run over me to the chief's office, reporting on the successes of the entire department as if it were his personal merits. He did the right thing, that he did not interfere, because the bosses of the careerists, who live on miraculous labor, did not like it. The boy was fired once for taking credit for a project made by a novice employee. As it turned out, the project was erroneous, on which the company lost a lot of money. But it was the careerist who was fired as the person who did not provide complete information about the project.

Calm, only calm

The best way to save face is to remain calm. Whatever happens. Firstly, the saying “be quiet - you will pass for a smart one” is right: an employee who is calm as a boa constrictor looks like a great professional than his noisy colleagues. Secondly, calmness helps to concentrate (well, yes, corny - but true). Finally, complete equanimity gives you the image of a person who is able to make decisions even in the most stressful situations - a quality that is admired and greatly appreciated by employers.

External irritants, stress, or your own violent nature can disturb your peace. All three cases are “curable”: external stimuli can be fenced off, stress can be cured. With character it is more difficult, but this is fixable if you learn how to manage emotions.

More space

The most hated neighbors are in communal apartments. A person needs a lot of space to feel comfortable. Where it is crowded, conflicts over trifles begin.

You probably won’t be able to increase the size of the office just like that, but you can correctly divide the space. The ideal layout is when…

• there is a wall behind the employee’s back (“covered rear” has a calming effect, there is no fear that someone will suddenly “attack” from behind - for example, the boss);
• the monitor is not visible (after all, there are a million different ways to catch an employee visiting inappropriate sites);
• good lighting (if the table is next to the window, then there must be blinds on the window, otherwise in spring and summer the sun will blind or glare on the display; in any case, everyone should have their own table lamp);
• there is enough space for storing papers, stationery, etc. (bedside table, rack, paper trays).

It gets on the nerves of employees if someone is constantly “hanging around” next to their workplace: “unlucky” can be considered tables standing next to a door, a mirror, a cooler, a bookcase or a printer. In addition, in not too friendly teams, a workplace near the window becomes a source of stress: some of the colleagues will constantly want to ventilate the room, and someone will complain about drafts and backache.

Offices are a good environment for showing unexpected love for the precepts of communism. Each office has its own small community, where it is not customary to stand out from the crowd.

In other words, everyone should have the same tables and chairs, otherwise, at the first opportunity, a small but very destructive war will begin for a more comfortable (new / expensive / nice) copy. At the same time, office workers love to literally settle in their workplaces (no wonder, given how much time we spend at work), and God forbid someone disturbs the harmony of the frames with photographs of their beloved cat or the peace of papers piled on the table in a mysterious order, which only the owner of the table understands.

Silence is gold

Noise is one of the main causes of stress (not necessarily in the office). If the source of the noise is a jackhammer outside the window, only earplugs or headphones will help get rid of it. If the source of the noise is a colleague, you can try to neutralize it verbally.

You yourself can be a source of unpleasant noise. Maybe you…

• … tap the keys too loudly when typing;
• … you often leave your phone when you leave the room - your colleagues have already memorized its ringtone;
• … you listen to music in headphones so loudly that your colleagues listen to it with you;
• … often watch videos, flash cartoons and other nonsense with sound on your computer;
• ... you chat all day in "ICQ", forcing colleagues to flinch from her "oops";
• … talk too loudly on the phone;
• … speak too loudly in general;
• …and also talk too much.

If you notice something like this behind you - do not be shy, ask your colleagues to pull you up every time you start yelling into the phone or pounding on the keyboard again.