Whoever you are and whatever you achieve, troubles can always happen, and it will seem to you that life will never get better. However, remember that your attitude is what matters, and here's how you can change it.

Zen Buddhist and Harvard professor Robert Waldinger, who leads the study on adult development, has been following 724 men for 75 years to understand what makes our lives happy.

It turns out that the basis of happiness is inclusion in the community and healthy relationships. To feel happy, you need to live surrounded by people who are ready to help.

Here are six ways to deal with the intense emotions that often accompany life's challenges. Sometimes they don't help directly solve the problem, but they provide clarity of vision, and that's a lot. Regardless of the outcome, your decisions will not be the result of fear - they will be justified.

1. Stop negative self-talk

First of all, you need to let go of limiting delusions, but it is equally important to stop negative self-talk by asking yourself:

• What facts for and against are available to me?
• Am I relying on facts or my own interpretations?
• Perhaps I am drawing hasty negative conclusions?
• How do I know if my thoughts are correct?
• Is there another way to look at this situation?
• Is the situation really as dire as it seems to me?
• Does this mindset help me reach my goals?

Sometimes it is enough to admit that you are indulging in self-deprecation in order to look at the problem from the other side.

2. Keep perspective

Your current problem in the context of your whole life is a mere trifle, it does not define you as a person, it is not a reflection of your entire history, your strengths and achievements.

We often see only what is right in front of us, forgetting about all the past positive experiences. Keep a holistic image of your life in mind and ask yourself:

• What can happen in the worst case? Is it likely?
• And at the best?
• What is most likely to happen?
• What will this mean five years from now?
• Perhaps I am giving too much importance to this issue?

3. Learn from your reactions

“There is a gap between stimulus and response, in that gap we have the freedom to choose our response. Our development and happiness depend on this choice,” Viktor Frankl.

How do you respond to a problem? What advice would you give to your best friend in this situation? At every moment we can completely control our reaction to any stimulus, and today psychology knows five ways to improve control over the reaction in a difficult situation:

• Think about what kind of person you would like to be
• Think about the meaning and origin of your reactions
• See the results of your actions
• Imagine a better answer
• Learn to treat yourself with compassion

4. Learn from the reactions of the other side

Harvard scholars have proven that using empathy in disagreement is essential to conflict resolution and is a critical prerequisite for a successful negotiation outcome.

5. Assess the situation from the position of an outside observer

If you are an observer, then you can go beyond the situation, discard emotions and follow your reaction.

With this level of self-awareness, even when in the middle of a conflict, you are aware of yourself and can separate your identity from the situation.

6. Seek outside help

In any situation where your own experience is not enough, look for wise advice. Suppress your ego and ask for a critical eye and constructive feedback, and once you're done, help others learn from your experience.

Remember that you and your problem are not one. A problem is just one aspect of your path, and it is also a source of growth. Do not run away from challenges, because they make us better. And when it seems that everything is lost, remember: this, too, will pass.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova

Date: 2015-05-13

Hello site readers.

In this article, we will analyze a serious topic: . Personally, I believe that not every person in his life finds himself in such a difficult situation. And yet, most people find themselves in such a trap at least once in their lives. And what to do when you don’t know what to do, where and how to look for a way out. You will learn about it here in this article.

First, I want to tell you what you should not do when you are in a dead end. Unfortunately, many people start using alcohol or drugs when they think you are writing: "Gone". I don’t know why they do it, but a person will definitely not find a way out in a bottle or a syringe. On the contrary, the situation will become even worse, as narcotic drugs overshadow the ability to think clearly and assess the situation. And if you find yourself in an impasse, the worst thing you can do is start drinking alcohol or using drugs. Don't you dare act like that.

Some people start whining. There is even a parable on the subject:

“Two friends were walking in the forest and found a cave. They decided to go there out of curiosity. They were so carried away walking through the dark cave that they did not notice how they got lost in it. Realizing this, one of the friends began to shout:

We will die, no one will find us.

A day passed, and he kept exclaiming about his impending death. And later his friend said to him:

“Maybe we should look for a way out?”

And the same thing happens in other people's lives. As something happened, they begin to whimper instead of looking for a way out. There is a way out even in a hopeless situation, you just need to look for it. Therefore, an important rule is to remain calm. The answer may come to you in a few days, weeks or even months. This happened many times in my life, and I became convinced that calmness is strength.

Now for some practice. You still have to take a piece of paper and start making a divergent map to get out of the impasse. A divergent map means several ways to solve a problem. For example, they were fired from their jobs. For some people, this is already a dead end. But the way out is still on the surface. After all, you can post your resume on the Internet, buy newspapers and start looking for vacancies on your own, attend interviews, ask acquaintances and friends about job opportunities, learn a new profession, or even create your own business.

That is, your task is not to be like the person who sat and shouted that the end had come to them, but to become the person who will look for a way out of the cave. The exit is not always found immediately. Still, you'll have to be patient. And that's what I want you to buy. I myself many times looked for ways out of difficult situations and realized that patience is a powerful force. It is this strength that will help you not to merge in your attempts.

Sometimes, in order for the problem to be solved, it is necessary to let go of the situation. This means not dwelling on what happened. For example, if a new job is not being looked for, then you can temporarily score on searches and take care of yourself. This does not mean at all that now you have to wait for manna from heaven. You are still looking for a new job, but without fanaticism and any expectations. And I am sure that when a person goes to something without tension, everything works out for him.

In a difficult situation, a friend can help you find a way out. Most people (sometimes me) rely too much on themselves. They withdraw from outside help instead of accepting it. This is their big misconception. Ego and pride make it difficult for a person to even think a little about asking for help. I'd rather decide everything myself, and be a hero, than someone will help me, after which I will feel miserable and insignificant. Hence the task for you, think about those people who will help you. Don't be afraid to ask them for help.

All dead ends are only in your head. Learn to look at the situation from the outside, thereby moving away from it. Are you good at giving advice to other people? Now give yourself some advice. Start having a dialogue with yourself. That is, ask yourself a question, and then try to answer it. You will definitely get the answer, but whether you accept it or not, this is your business.

I strongly recommend that you mentally support yourself. Your mind must be calm. And the following statement will help you with this: "Everything will be great!". Whenever you are nervous about feeling trapped, repeat this phrase. She is . The second thought that should be spinning in your head is as follows: "Everything that is not done, everything is done for the better". You have heard this phrase hundreds and hundreds of times. And now you need to repeat it hundreds and hundreds of times.

In a person's life, a variety of, sometimes even unimaginable situations can occur. And what awaits us tomorrow, we can not even imagine. In everyday troubles and worries, we rarely think about our security. Usually we begin to “be baptized” and “lay straw” when the thunder is already thundering over our heads and we have to retreat not to prepared positions, but into unknown darkness. Most often, it seems that in the abyss. In the song we all know, there are such words: "... love will suddenly come, and every evening will immediately become surprisingly good." And when trouble suddenly strikes, what then? For us then the sun fades, the earth begins to leave from under our feet, and it seems to us that no one and nothing can help us.

When a person is unhappy, he becomes vulnerable and troubles “stick” like a magnet. Usually in such cases we say that trouble does not come alone. A confused person begins to be tormented by two primordially Slavic questions: “What to do?” and “Who is to blame?”. More precisely, on the contrary: “Who is to blame?” and only then - "What to do?". As always, most of us begin to analyze the situation with the fact that we are looking for someone to blame for our misfortunes, and not with constructive thoughts and steps.

My first rule that life taught me is that you don’t need to look for the guilty, you need to forgive everyone, you can blame anyone, but first of all you need to blame yourself. Forces will be needed for the search and struggle, for the necessary exit and recovery.

In your troubles, you can blame the whole world, then huddled in a corner to wait for everything to resolve itself. Usually they do this, because they do not try to deal with the problems that have arisen, but only try to “forget” them, putting them in the subconscious on the farthest shelf in the hope that a magician will fly in and a miracle will happen, and the problem will disappear by itself. But nothing good will happen in this case. Therefore, parents should create a relationship based on the child's trust in them in order to be aware of problems and always, in time, come to the rescue and indicate a way out of this situation.

You must pull yourself together. Get yourself together. Start analyzing the situation. Everyone you can, call for help. Never think that your problems are indifferent to loved ones. After all, they love you and will definitely help you with advice and concrete deeds. There must be a person nearby who will give you his shoulder. Alas, this is not always the case.

The Bible says, "Forgive, and it will be given to you" - remember? You need to ask not only relatives, friends and acquaintances. First of all, pray for help to the Lord and your highest patrons. If you do not have your own temple, try to find it. If possible, go around all the temples that are nearby and in some you will want to stay.

Maybe you will find your place, in an icon close to your soul, in the only church near your home. You will find this place, the soul will tell you, it will definitely respond to it. All you need to do is go and ask. Sincerely ask for forgiveness, help and intercession from the patrons. It is better to read prayers (and if you are an atheist, then affirmations) than to delve into sad thoughts or lose heart. In other words, try to control your thoughts. If you are not able to think about something productive - read the prayers and the consciousness will gradually begin to clear up, and the necessary decisions, ideas, assumptions and hopes will appear in your head.

You need to learn how to relax emotionally and physically. Try meditation. Relax in your favorite ways. Can focus

First, on how you breathe;

Secondly, how your body relaxes. First tighten all the muscles, and then relax. Do this gradually, starting with the feet and ending with the neck and facial muscles;

Thirdly, on some image or sound. Perhaps it will be an image of falling snow that adorns the ground or the sound of the surf. In Robin Sharma's book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, there is a description of this "rose admiring" technique.

If you wish and with the capabilities of the Internet, you can choose a lot of such techniques - which one suits you best, choose that one. Yoga can help a lot, no matter where you practice at home or in a specially created club. Choose the exercises you like and do them to pleasant music, and for relaxation there are special recordings with the sounds of nature: the sound of rain, the surf.

Water. Yes, ordinary water, or rather water procedures. Try taking baths that you like, for example, relaxing, soothing, pine needles, sea salt and aromatic oils, etc. Make a holiday for body and soul, go to the sauna or Russian bath. Swim in the pool, feel like a goldfish, and through the load on the muscles, your nerves and thoughts will come in order. It will relax, calm and harden well - douche and shower.

Walks. If you have someone to walk and talk with, fine. And if there is no such interlocutor - it's okay, you can take a walk alone. But choose a medium or fast pace of movement, it should depend on how you are trained, and come back with a little muscle fatigue. Choose a route for yourself so that you can walk along the river, through the park, walk along the quiet streets.

Good for our mental state plant care: planting trees, transplanting seedlings, weeding and other chores. If you do not have the opportunity to work in the beds, then look through books, magazines, catalogs on gardening and floriculture, admire the beauty of nature.

There is another great way to escape from difficult and unpleasant situations - watch your favorite movies, read books that give you pleasure.

If you have accumulated a lot of problems and your health has deteriorated, and there was no time to deal with it, start right now. You need to start with a course of preventive treatment of your disease, even if there is no exacerbation. After all, it manifests itself in a stressful situation, when the disease is chronic, and then it is not worth postponing treatment.

shopping- a great way to overcome the stress of difficult life circumstances, it is well suited for both women and men. We advise you to go shopping, find what you dreamed about (a unique set of knitting needles or a spinning rod for fishing) or spontaneously treat yourself to some incredible gift.

When you like something - buy right now and rejoice. And it doesn't matter if it's gold earrings, a diamond ring, a stylish suit, a tie, a car or… a toy. Please yourself, but if the desire does not arise, then please your loved one, child or any person from your environment.

You need to fulfill your intangible dream. If you have long dreamed of skydiving, walking barefoot in the snow, planting a garden, riding a yacht, standing on your head, giving away boring things, learning to play the piano, getting a turtle or a puppy, going to Venice or the countryside? Get started right now.

The main thing is not to focus your attention on the problem, do not give yourself entirely to it, but realize the opportunity to put your thoughts and feelings in order. Analyze everything and take a reasonable step to resolve the situation or realize the need for your existence in other circumstances.

Through prayer, nature walks, meditation, pool activities, flower gardening, and watching your favorite movies, your mind will gradually put you on the right path. All unpleasant circumstances will turn to you on the other side and then joyful and necessary events will begin for you. Your life will begin to change for the better, a great opportunity and a chance for success will appear.

Thanks to the Lord's parting words, with the help of loved ones and your calm and positive mood, a door will open for you that you previously did not suspect.

This door will help you get out not only from a difficult situation, but will also become the entrance to your new, exciting, beautiful and happy life.

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation?

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation?

Life presents each person with a variety of, sometimes unimaginable situations. We can't even imagine what tomorrow holds for us.

In everyday troubles and worries, rarely does anyone think about their security. As a rule, we begin to “be baptized” and “lay straws” when the thunder has already struck, when we have to retreat not to pre-prepared positions, but into the unknown, into nowhere.

Often it begins to seem that in the abyss. In a famous song there are the words "... love will suddenly come, and every evening will immediately become surprisingly good." What if trouble suddenly strikes? The sun is fading, the earth is slipping away from under your feet, and it seems that no one and nothing will save, help, come to the rescue.

In his misfortune, a person becomes vulnerable, and troubles begin to literally “stick” to him. "Trouble does not come alone," they say in such cases. Two primordially Russian questions arise before a confused person and begin to torment him: “What to do?” and “Who is to blame?”. Or rather, on the contrary: “Who is to blame?” And only then - "What to do?". Most of us still begin the analysis of the situation with the search for the culprit in our misfortune, and not with any constructive reflections and steps.

So, the first rule that life has taught me is do not look for the guilty, forgive everyone you want to blame, and yourself first of all. Forces will be useful for searching, for fighting, for exiting, for recovery.

Of course, you can blame the whole wide world, hide in a corner and wait for the situation to resolve itself. That's what all kids do. They never try to solve the problems that confront them, but try to “forget” them, put them in the back of their minds in anticipation of a successful outcome, a wizard in a blue helicopter, or a miracle. Nothing good comes from such a position. That is why parents should form a trusting relationship with their children in order to always be aware of their problems and come to the rescue in time, showing ways out of difficult situations. And not at all for taking measures in the form of punishments and other sanctions.

So, pull yourself together. Get yourself together. Do an analysis of the situation. Get help from everyone you can. And do not think that your problems are indifferent to people close to you. They love you and will help you with advice and concrete deeds. It is very important that there is a person nearby who you can rely on. But this doesn't always happen.

"Ask and it will be given to you" - remember? Ask not only relatives, friends, acquaintances. First of all, ask and pray for the help of the Lord and your highest patrons. Find your temple if you don't already have one. Go around, if possible, everything that is nearby, and somewhere you will want to stay.

Or maybe you just find your place near the icon closest to your soul in the only church near your house. This place is sure to exist, and the soul will prompt, respond to it. The main thing is to go and ask. Ask for forgiveness, help, intercession, patronage. Read prayers (or affirmations if you are an atheist) instead of delving into gloomy thoughts or indulging in despondency. In other words, control your thoughts. You can’t think about something productive - you read prayers, and gradually your consciousness will clear up and the necessary decisions, ideas, assumptions, hopes will come to your head.

Learn to relax both emotionally and physically. Take up meditation. Relaxation can be achieved in many ways. Can focus

- firstly, on your breath;
- secondly - on relaxing your body (First, tension of all muscles is performed, and then relaxation. This is done gradually, starting from the feet and ending with the muscles of the neck and face.);
- thirdly, on some visual image or sound (This may be the image of sea waves that run ashore or the singing of some kind of sound “oomm”, “aah.” In Robin Sharma’s book “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” there is a description of the “admiring the rose” technique).

If desired, and the current capabilities of the Internet, you can pick up several such techniques - whichever one you like more than others, stop at that one. Yoga helps a lot, whether you practice at home or in a specialized club. Choose a few exercises for yourself and perform them to pleasant music, and there are also recordings for relaxation with the sounds of nature: forest, sea.

And also water. Ordinary water. Rather, water procedures. Various baths - relaxing, soothing, sea, coniferous, with aromatic oils, etc. Sauna or steam room. A real feast for the body will bring relief to your soul. Swimming pool. You swim like a fish, and nerves and thoughts come into order through muscle load. Pouring. Shower.

Walks. If there is a companion, he is also an interlocutor - good. If suddenly this does not turn out to be - it's okay, go for a walk alone. It is only advisable to choose a medium or fast pace of movement, depending on your fitness, and return with a little physical fatigue. It's great if your route runs along the river bank, park, quiet, unfussy streets.

Care of the garden, plants has a very good effect on our mental state: planting, transplanting, weeding and all sorts of other chores. Open your books, catalogs, atlases on floriculture, look through them, admire the beauty of nature.

Another way to divert your thoughts from a difficult and unpleasant situation is to watch your favorite movies, read books that once gave great pleasure.

If you have had health problems for a long time, but it was not possible to deal with them, now is the time. Start a course of preventive treatment of your osteochondrosis, gastritis, migraine. Even if there is no exacerbation. And it often happens in stressful situations in the presence of chronic diseases, and then treatment should not be postponed all the more.

There is another good way to deal with stress that accompanies difficult life circumstances, it has proven itself, especially among women, but it should also help men: shopping. In other words, go shopping, find something you've been dreaming of for a long time (a unique crochet or fishing hook), or buy yourself a gift spontaneously.

Here's something you like right now - buy and enjoy. Earrings with diamonds, a silver ring, a beautiful dress, a tie, a car or… a toy. Please yourself. And if absolutely no desires arise - then a loved one, a child, any person.

Fulfill the dream of an intangible plan. We have long dreamed of jumping with a parachute, riding a water bus, walking barefoot on the water, saying a kind word to a neighbor, planting a tree, throwing away a boring service, standing on our heads, learning a melody for a piano and an orchestra, getting a kitten or a puppy, going to Paris or the countryside. ? Take action.

The main thing is not to get hung up on the problem, not to go headlong into it, but to realize the opportunity to put your thoughts and feelings in order, begin to analyze and take reasonable steps to resolve the situation or to realize the need to exist in new circumstances.

And so, during prayers, meditations, walks, swimming, gardening, while watching movies, your consciousness will gradually lead you to the right path. Previously unfavorable circumstances will turn the other side, joyful and necessary events for you will begin to occur. Changes for the better will begin in your life, new opportunities and chances for success will appear.

With God's help, with the participation of close people and your own calm and positive attitude, the Door will open for you, which you did not suspect some time ago.

And this Door will be not only the Exit from a difficult life situation, but also the Entrance to a new, beautiful, huge and happy Life.

Life is life. Sometimes you fall into a deep hole and skid at its bottom with a torn heart, an empty wallet or a serious illness. How many do not try to climb back - it seems that there is no way out.

In fact, the exit is much closer than it seems. To cope with a difficult life situation, we need only one thing - specific actions. After all, they are the most effective tool for achieving results.

And if so, we will look at 2 ways to solve any problem with the help of a 4-step action plan, two useful exercises and one tip to help when everything falls out of hand. We will start with 5 ideas that you need to realize so that you do not kill yourself once again and do not make the mess thicker than before.

What needs to be realized

• There are people with more serious problems than you. For example, children with terminal illnesses, parents who lost a young family in an accident, a boy who was killed in an unnecessary war. The world has not agreed on your situation, so you should not give up after the first defeat.

• Failure is a happy turning point. This idea can be found on the pages of Napoleon Hill's Law of Success. And it's true: a sudden illness, a business failure, or a broken relationship can sometimes save your head from even greater misfortunes.

• The advice to quit everything is the advice of weak people. Before you listen to someone, look at his standard of living. If it is lower than what you want, you should not waste time listening to another opinion.

• No matter what happens, no matter who is to blame, everything is in the past. Now we are facing a fact and we need to shift our attention to the present.

• Chopping from the shoulder is a good quality of a successful person, but in our case, too decisive actions can do harm.

What can be done

Here we come to practice. In general, the methods for getting out of difficult situations come down to one thing - to raise your “op” and. It seems to be simple, but how to do it if the whole body is exhausted and resists? You can try the step by step method below.

Method 1 - Solve the problem yourself

Step #1 – Cooling and Preparing

• First, as in all emergencies, you need to stop panicking. The fire has already flared up and even though it burns on the outside, you need to remain cold-blooded inside. So the brain will not waste energy on unnecessary emotions and save resources to solve the problem.

• Then, stop playing the victim. As children, we were often told that we needed to be responsible, and now is the right time for this.

  Take the helm in your hands to fully control the situation. Otherwise, you can quickly succumb to excuses like “I was unlucky, I have nothing to do with it, let him decide better, etc.”

• The next “half-step” is to find the foothold of your problem. When trouble arises, out of nowhere, a bunch of other difficulties pile up. And if the first trouble is "pulled out", then the rest of the chain of events will collapse by itself.

  Sounds promising, but it's actually true. From the solution of a complex problem, inspiration, a second wind, an increase in strength appear, and smaller problems are solved by themselves.

Step #2 - Reboot

At this stage, we must interfere with a sober mind. Here are a few options for how to do this:

• Gain strength, sleep, eat, rest.

• Recall your past victories and get a boost of motivation.

• Think about what this situation will teach you, what faith in yourself you will gain if you solve it. (Invaluable experience, strengthened fortitude, self-confidence - these are just a few consequences of the problem solved.)

• Gain strength of will and give up alcohol, excessive smoking, drugs. Stop being lazy, overeat, in general - do not feed the factors that spoil the psyche and destroy the body.

1. The first one is self-programming.(or affirmations). It consists in not recognizing the complexity of the situation, and telling yourself that everything is not so bad.

What happened, trouble?"It's okay, temporary difficulties!" How are you?- Great as usual! Try to talk to yourself and others in this spirit. (Looks like training sectarians, but if not overzealous, then such thinking is useful).

2. Consider what you believe: into themselves and their forces, God, world energy, a single wave shell, even into reptilians. Believe in it with renewed vigor. (Again, a little strange, but faith is a very strong feeling that can give strength)

3. Emotional release. Sometimes it is worth stuffing cuffs on an innocent pear or bursting into tears in a pillow. Simply throw everything out straight, without any affirmations. In this matter, your heart will tell you: if you want to cry, if you want to beat the dishes, if you want to go to the gym and exhaust your muscles.

It's bad that many people are used to restraining their emotions. To freak out, even if you are left alone, is somehow awkward and “not like an adult”, which is why the method is not suitable for everyone.

After the "reboot" you can go to the 3rd step.

Step #3 - Focus

When you are cold-blooded, and all emotions are behind, you can start the most important thing - switch the focus from the problem to its solution.

And here the most difficult thing begins, which 90% of those who read the article will not do. Why? Because we need to take action right now. We need two sheets of paper and a pen. Preferably it is paper, and not electronic media, the effect will be stronger on it.

We will do 2 exercises that will help free your head from the whirlpool of thoughts and structure your knowledge. After completing them, you will already have an initial speed and a foundation for a further plan of action.

Exercise 1

Describe all the resources you have: knowledge, things, connections, money, valuable information, experience, etc. These are your means to an end, in our case the goal is to get out of a difficult situation.

Emphasize which of these tools can be used to solve the problem. For example: car- sell, Lech- collect debt Alexey Borisovich call and ask for advice.

If you have not found something that can help you, then your horizons are still limited. You are wandering in the dark when the answer may be just around the corner. Make a small column under the list of funds, and write there all the resources that you think you lack (again, this can be money, connections, qualifications, etc.).

We have a picture in front of us could not fit entirely in my head. It remains only to work with it: use resources, seek funds, supplement with new knowledge. After that, we can move on to the second exercise.

Exercise 2

We take the second sheet of paper and arrange a brainstorming session. We write out absolutely all our thoughts into it: “I have problems and everything infuriates me; I think no one will help me; I should call and arrange, but I'm afraid.

That is, not just gotta do this and try something.” but all your feelings, experiences, ideas. All the porridge that is boiled and boils the brain must be poured onto paper.

Why is this exercise good? It materializes thoughts in a peculiar way. You had an impulse in your head, you had to keep it in your memory, save it, maintain your emotional mood, and now - here it is, on paper! The brain no longer needs to waste energy: constantly show this thought, associate a certain emotion with it. He can focus on something specific and calm down at least for a while.

That is why it is better to do these exercises on paper. Writing thoughts with your hand is a little different than poking them with the buttons on your phone. Imagine what it would be like if children in schools typed everything on the keyboard. Of course, they would learn quickly, but poorly. Here we have something similar.

Step #4 - Plan

Ideally, at this stage, you should already have 2 sheets of notes and at least a minimal idea of ​​\u200b\u200byour further actions. If you've completed all the previous steps, well done! This means that you are ready to work hard, and you will definitely get the desired result.

The simplest thing left is to write a plan and set goals. Carry them with you so that in a free moment, you always know what to do next.

Method 2 - Ask for help

In order to find a way out of a hopeless situation, you can go the other way. If you are lucky, you have relatives and real friends. Close people, if they are really close, will always help you in difficult times.

There are 3 variations of this method. We briefly discussed the first in the first paragraph - ask for help from friends and acquaintances.

Second variety: Look for those who have already solved a similar problem.

Believe me, among several billion people there is someone who is faced with the same life situation. Find this person. In his video, book or article, he can show the solution to your problem from his own experience.

Imagine that you are sitting at a round table and interacting with people you respect. Friends, parents, it doesn't matter. If you roughly know their character, you can imagine the advice they will give you.

Practice shows that many tips from the Internet simply do not work. Sometimes it gets boring to force yourself to read moralizing, to do some exercises, to overpower your character to the point of nausea.

Nothing works in this state. What kind of exercises are there, I would like to collect myself in a heap. In a word, stress.

The only way out of this situation is to disconnect from business as much as possible. Send, score, rest - call it what you want.

Why is this tip "super"? Because it reflects the real state of affairs. If you have completely lost motivation and lost heart, it is dangerous to finish yourself off! And you can finish yourself off with different practices, motivational speeches, constant reproaches, etc. With a complete loss of performance, these things will not help you and will only upset you. “I’m no good”, “Everything is gone”, “Nothing helps me anymore” - you only think about this after trying to overpower yourself.

So don't be afraid to drop things for a while! Yes, this condition can last for several days or even weeks. But the more time passes, the more the spring of motivation is compressed. At one point, you will get so tired of messing around that the spring will open and with great force will carry you back upstairs.