When I was a little younger, I had grandiose goals and aspirations, and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind—to be calm and peacefully move from one task to another with concentration and calm, restrained energy.

Everything seems to be simple? Probably no. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it, because it's a fantastic feeling! Anger and impatience wear down our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.
Below are twelve tips on how to keep your cool and remain calm in various life situations.

1. Try not to be dramatic

It is very easy to dramatize and make an elephant out of a fly. In any stressful situations where the problem concerns you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words "always" and "when". You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle it,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem in a different way.

Don't talk, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a bit. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. By doing this, they only add fuel to the fire, and you are even more upset.

3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm

Here's what helps me: I try to represent the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull on the ends, the tighter the knot tightens. But when I concentrate fully, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.

It also helps if you visualize yourself acting with restraint and focus. Stop screaming and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become that calm and unflappable person that you see in your imagination.

Here's another technique: Do you know any person who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.

4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy

Are there certain situations that make you lose control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day, to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy - or too quiet? Knowing your personal irritants will help you stay calm throughout the day.

5. Realize that you can control your emotions

Recall times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly reorganize. Remember that you can repeat this knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.

6.Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals

If calm music comforts you, use it. If silence calms you, use it. Maybe you put on soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light scented candles.

When you get home from work, take a few minutes to calm your mind before diving into family chores. Sit in the car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Kick off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.

7. Take care of your basic needs

Make sure you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I get irritated when my blood sugar is low. However, it is enough to eat something nutritious, and I feel (relatively) lighter.

Also try to exercise. Daily exercise helps relieve physical tension, and this in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of a half-hour run, I do kickboxing. It helps.
Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and do not dehydrate the body. Drink a large glass of water and see if you feel better, more calm and alert.

8. Pay Attention to the Soul and Spirit

Depending on your religious preferences, meditate or pray. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help control your busy mind.

9. Get distracted

Instead of thinking about the same things, do something interesting, exciting, or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.

10. Take a day off

If I resist like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure - I need it. If I can get over myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always return there calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.

11. Don't forget to breathe

When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe with their belly. It still works, both for them and for me. Diaphragm breathing helps relieve tension immediately, and it gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. This is often enough time to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.

During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, put your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand goes up as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.

12. Consider quotes that can help calm your mind.

Here are a few quotes that I find inspiring:

“You are heaven. Everything else is just the weather.” Pema Chodron

"A calm, focused mind, not directed to harm others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe" Wayne Dyer (Wayne Dyer).

“It is useless to rush life. If I'm living on the run, then I'm living wrong. My habit of haste will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn how to make time for everything. If I sacrifice my life for haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. It means taking time to think. Slowly you will be in time everywhere " Carlos Petrini (Carlos Petrini) - the founder of the movement "slow food".

“The single most important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are those whose children keep talking.” Mary Pipher

“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be in harmony with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda

4 630 0 Hello! In this article, we will talk about how to stay calm in different situations. Without stress, life is impossible. They harden us, warn us of danger, activate or hinder our actions, deplete our strength and negatively affect our health. And everywhere we hear: "Don't be nervous", "Calm down" or "Keep your composure!" Nobody doubts that this should be done. That's just how? When emotions take over the mind and prevent you from being productive and enjoying life ... The task is difficult, but doable. On the question of how to remain calm in any situation, the methods and techniques given in the article will help.

Why It's Important Not to Be Nervous

Control over emotions and their cruel suppression- it's not the same thing.

• Suppress (or push out) emotions after they have taken possession of the body and mind of a person. They are not splashed out, but stopped, hidden deep inside themselves from the external environment. And this is not the best scenario, because the negative energy does not go away, but continues to poison the body, causing various health problems.
• But control over emotions associated with the initial desire not to fall under the power of stress, to be able to resist it. The impact of negative emotions is like a snowball. One has only to get upset for any reason, as instantly this state paralyzes actions and begins to affect all areas of life.

You have probably noticed more than once that if you are in a hurry somewhere or are worried before an important event, then no other thoughts come to mind, literally “everything falls out of your hands”, you cannot find the things you need, everything is annoying ... And this negativity quickly accumulates and unsettles. It is extremely difficult to act effectively in this situation. Moreover, a strong adrenaline rush does not have the best effect on health. Here is the result.

Therefore, emotions can and should be controlled. Each of us is capable of doing this. First you have to make an effort, then it will become a habit.

How to stay calm in stressful situations: express methods

1. If you are busy with something and start to feel stressed, pause and take a break from this activity for a while (or stop it altogether). It is necessary to restore the psychological balance, otherwise the tension may increase and with prolonged exposure to stress, the onset of a nervous breakdown becomes likely.
2. Do not rush to immediately share your experiences with friends and colleagues. First, try to understand the situation yourself, analyze the causes of stress.
3. Voice for yourself all the manifestations of nervousness at the level of the body, for example: “I feel that I am blushing”, “My fingers are trembling”, “My heart is about to jump out of my chest”, etc. This is necessary in order to be able to take myself hands and realize how much you are tense.
4. Concentrate on your breath. In a situation of stress, the production of the hormone adrenaline increases, which also affects breathing. Its rhythm is broken, it becomes intermittent. To re-adjust it, use breathing techniques. The simplest is three deep breaths and exhalations. Such exercises can be performed both directly in a stressful situation, and in a more relaxed environment for relaxation. It is most effective to practice belly breathing.
5. Come to the window, consider the opening landscape. Pay attention to the smallest details. Rejoice in something you haven't seen before. Well, if you get the opportunity to take a walk in the fresh air. Enriching the brain with oxygen helps to calm and relieve stress.
6. Control over emotions involves, first of all, the ability to recognize and accept them. If you feel unnecessarily tense or nervous, focus on your experiences and voice your feelings. The wording should reflect both acknowledgment and separation from negative emotions: "I am irritated" or "I am anxious."
7. Do not wind yourself up, do not let a tense situation unfold to gigantic proportions. Stress needs to be brought under control while it is still in its infancy.
8. Use visualization techniques. For example, you can imagine how you pack your problem and the negativity associated with it in a box, send it to the sea, and they will never return to you. Or if the experience of stress is associated with some person, then you can present it in an absurd, funny way, then it will be emotionally easier to communicate with him. It also helps to visualize your equanimity (for example, imagine yourself as a deep, vast ocean or a high fortress that is not threatened by anything).
9. Think of a famous character (hero of a book, film) or a real person who, in your opinion, is the embodiment of calmness and equanimity. How would he react to the situation that happened to you?

Self-confidence helps you stay calm

Work on your confidence and self-esteem. Confident people don't panic or get nervous over trifles. They know they can handle the situation, no matter how hard it gets. If you are satisfied with yourself and feel inner harmony, then there will be much more peace in your life.

• An integrated approach is important. First of all, you need to like your own appearance. Look in the mirror more often, compliment yourself, say encouraging phrases: “I look good”, “I like myself and others”, etc.
• Think more often about your talents and abilities, about what you are good at doing.. Do not forget about your achievements, usually they are remembered a lot. It is especially helpful to remember situations when you were able to successfully cope with difficulties and remain calm. It always adds confidence. Be sure to find time to do your favorite thing, which gives you real pleasure and gives you vigor.
• Nothing disarms stress quite like your positive attitude.. The more positively charged you are, the less susceptible you are to various stressful situations. You immediately demonstrate that you are stronger than them. You need to have in your arsenal a list of life-affirming phrases that you like, help you stay calm and not be nervous. Say them regularly, charging yourself with confidence and positivity ( "Today is my day!" or “Every day I become more confident” and etc.)
• Try to demonstrate external calm, even if everything is boiling inside. Straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, make your gait more measured, look up and try to eliminate fussy gestures. Control this image. Being aware of how you look will help you feel calmer and more confident internally.

How to learn calmness and equanimity

1. Irritability is often the result of overwork.. So be sure to give yourself the opportunity to relax and get enough sleep. Devote weekends to yourself, your family and your favorite activities, and not to work and many household chores.

Important! Lack of sleep in most cases leads to emotional disorders and disharmony. An exhausted body is in constant stress and loses the ability to fight it. And, on the contrary, sound healthy sleep helps to maintain vivacity and calmness.

1. The ability to plan and properly allocate your time helps to make life more measured and calm. It is necessary to prioritize the affairs and in the first place to perform important and urgent tasks.
2. Punctual people are generally calmer than those who are constantly late.. If you do not belong to the first type, then you should improve the ability to always and everywhere be on time. Arrive early for a meeting or event.
3. The environment (at home, in the workplace) should be comfortable and contribute to creating a positive mood. Keep order around. Try not to clutter up your space with a lot of items.

Important!The less unnecessary things surround you, the more freedom and harmony you will feel.

1. Listen to pleasant melodic music more often, under which you can relax. The ideal option would be classic compositions.
2. Yoga and meditation classes are also a good way to learn how to stay calm in stressful situations.
3. Try to control your habits. The less addiction you have in your life (from sweets, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol), the better you will be able to manage your own emotions and become calmer.
4. Pay more attention to those around you. Interest in people contributes to the distraction from their complexes and obsessive thoughts and the development of observation. Moreover, you can always learn from others how to behave in a given situation, analyzing their experience and noticing the effective aspects of behavior.
5. If there is a quarrel or an unpleasant conversation with someone, try to switch attention from your own negative emotions to the behavior of the interlocutor: watch his gestures, facial expressions, consider flaws, wrinkles on his face. Imagine the pressure he is under. This method helps to keep calm in a conflict situation.
6. It's good to ask important questions Q: What are my main goals? What am I doing to achieve them? What else do I need to do? Reflection on such questions and plans allows you to escape from vain thoughts and concentrate on the key moments of life.

It is important to feel like a hero of your time, to live in the present. You can’t drag the burden of past problems along with you, and no fears about the future should stop you. You must believe that your strength is enough to overcome any difficulty and you can always maintain inner integrity and peace.

Fuss, conflicts, troubles at work, unforeseen situations and even gloomy weather make us feel stressed. Nervousness is bad for the health and psyche of a person. This also affects relationships with loved ones. Therefore, it is important for everyone to learn to remain calm.

Why are we nervous

The nervous system helps a person adequately interact with the outside world. In response to what is happening, we react with different emotions. Thanks to the nervous system, everyone knows that touching a hot iron will cause pain, and a relaxing massage will feel good.

However, the reaction occurs not only to physical impact. The psychological environment is important for the emotional state of a person. The body reacts to unpleasant and unexpected situations with tension, like an animal trying to hide from a predator.

The human psyche is arranged in such a way that the experienced negative experience is remembered brighter than the positive one. In children and adolescents, this experience is not yet so rich. In addition, the frequent change of events helps to experience stress at a young age vividly, but quickly forget about it.

In adults, negative experiences make one experience experiences even where there is no reason for this. Due to uncertainty, mistakes and lack of support, a person is overcome by the fear of "what if ...". According to psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, people are often nervous because of contrived circumstances, rather than what happened. It prevents you from relaxing and being here and now.

Sources of nervous tension are external factors:

• Rich information environment. A person receives a lot of information from different sources. Not all will be important and useful. Too much information, especially negative information, causes tension. The excessive load associated with the simultaneous execution of several tasks also adversely affects.
• Decreased level of physical activity. Every decade, living conditions are improving, thanks to scientific and technological progress. People no longer need to make efforts to survive, as in ancient times. Changing living conditions did not reduce stress factors. If earlier the level of physical activity and nervous tension necessary for survival were in equal proportion, now, due to the absence of the need to fight for life, emotional experiences began to be felt more acutely.
• Overpopulation in cities. Constant contact with people is not always pleasant. It is unlikely that anyone likes to stand in lines, traffic jams, ride in crowded transport - and this is part of life in big cities.
• Fast pace of life, hustle and bustle. A restless environment becomes a source of tension. Everyone needs to rest in silence.
• Bad ecology. Polluted air slows down the processes of gas exchange and reduces the efficiency of the brain.

How to stay calm in any situation

It is impossible to avoid stressful situations. However, there are several effective ways to help you learn how to maintain peace of mind.

Make life easier

If stress has become your constant companion, the first thing to do is to reconsider your attitude to life.

Get rid of excess:

• throw away unnecessary things from the house;
• start a diary;
• stop communicating with "toxic" people;
• stop doing any things that do not bring benefit and pleasure.

Think about whether you have unfinished business and plans, for example, learn a foreign language or enroll in courses. If there is, and in the near future you do not plan to do them, give them up for a while until the desire to do it again appears. And do not take on new cases until you have completed the current ones. Such unloading from "trash" will streamline life and relieve unnecessary stress, and will also be the first step towards the formation of stress resistance.

Face to face with stress

To combat stress, understand what situations in your life create stress. In a calm environment, sit down and write down anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, such as unfinished business, difficult relationships, or work. Analyze the situation. Get rid of what is possible. Otherwise, find the pros - this will become a new point of growth for your personality.

The morning is wiser than the evening

Sleep is an important factor in dealing with stress. Situations that seemed insoluble in the evening will seem like a trifle in the morning. Sleep must be of good quality. Get ready for bed in advance: do not use electronic devices for half an hour, take a hot shower or bath. Relaxing massage, meditation and light stretching will not interfere.

Be sure to get enough sleep. Chronic lack of sleep adversely affects not only the appearance, but also the psychological state. If possible, arrange a short daytime sleep - this will restore strength.

Relax list

Think about what helps you relax and have fun. Make a list. It can be walking, meeting friends, swimming or cake - everyone has their own ways of relaxing. Refer to the list when you feel tension. Sports, yoga and drawing help to fight stress.

Good mood

Here the expression “from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” is relevant. Nervousness, irritation and anger are what a person splashes out on others, being in a state of stress. It is important to work with the mood, attitude to the situation and thoughts. Learn to find positive moments even in the most unpleasant situations. Think about who and how you can help. Perhaps someone close needs your support. Giving someone positive and love, we feel needed. It helps to be more confident.

What to do if the situation gets out of control

The methods described above are tips on how to get rid of unnecessary stress in life. Few people know what to do when stress is taken by surprise. There are several ways to help keep calm in any situation:

• Don't dramatize. We tend to think everything out and imagine worse than it is - this comes from excitement or fear of something unexpected. Soberly assess what is happening and act within the framework of the situation. Don't think of something that doesn't really exist.
• Imagine the problem is a tangled knot. The greater the tension, the more the knot is tightened. The association will help you relax and start thinking soberly.
• Breath control. With nervous tension, breathing goes astray and becomes rapid. A slow, calm rhythm of inhalation and exhalation will help you relax. Inhale deeply for a count of 4, hold your breath a little and exhale.
• Speech and gesture control. Do not show others that you are tense. Try to move and speak calmly and smoothly - this will help to calm down. Do not create unnecessary fuss around.
• Get rid of external stimuli. Try to isolate yourself from the surrounding noise in order to think about the situation and make an informed decision.

Can a psychologist help?

Often, if psychological stress is associated with overload and fuss, a person himself is able to get rid of stress by analyzing the situation and getting rid of the ballast.

For some, irritation, tension and stress become a normal daily condition. Serious problems can be hidden behind this: self-doubt, fears or conflict relationships with loved ones. Not everyone can deal with these problems on their own. In this case, you should not wait until a nervous breakdown occurs. It is better to seek help from a psychologist who will help find a way out of the situation.

If the conflict has already flared up, in this case, composure will not hurt. According to psychologists, it is the extra emotionality of partners that leads to a break in relations. Indeed, in the process of clarifying the relationship, loving people move away from each other, and since our people do not like to go to psychologists, this leads to the dissolution of marriages. In order to always find common ground with your loved one, psychologists recommend restraining your emotions and remaining calm.

Among the most common reasons for family scandals, psychologists identified infidelity, disagreements in raising children, and relationships with relatives and friends.

If the couple decided to resolve the conflict on their own, then experts recommend learning how to calmly argue their point of view and try not to lose close contact with the partner. It is in the distance from each other and overly emotional scenes of showdown that the reason for the collapse of the union of two loving people lies.

The average couple tries to resort to the help of professional psychologists as little as possible. Indeed, for the majority, the very fact of contacting a specialist already indicates the end of the relationship.

Do we respond appropriately to insults and swearing? At any work, misunderstandings with colleagues, conflict situations with management are possible. Not to mention the sphere of everyday life, which is crammed with stressful situations. Is it possible to maintain peace of mind in a conflict environment? Psychologists say that it is possible if applied assertiveness.

An assertive person is psychologically stable and independent of other people's opinions.

Instructions: how to remain calm during a quarrel or conflict

• Oriental sages, famous for their measured attitude to life, advise at the moment of conflict not to instinctively clench your fists, but, on the contrary, to straighten your fingers. This simple movement helps with the outflow of blood from the head and makes it possible to instantly cool down and assess the situation calmly, as if from the outside.
• If you are deliberately provoked into a conflict, do not give in. To begin with, do not look the interlocutor in the eye, break eye contact with him, through which he could manipulate you on a subconscious level. In no case do not raise your voice: on the contrary, if you are being yelled at, answer deliberately quietly, but clearly. This confuses the enemy, makes him shut up in order to listen to what you are talking about.
• In cases where you go to a meeting or event where it will be difficult to remain calm (this could be a party with your ex, or a corporate meeting with competitors), take care of your mood in advance. In critical cases, you can drink a sedative, just do not overdo it so as not to experience drowsiness. But it's best to just remind yourself of the basic rules of equanimity: regular breathing, a smile on your face.

What is meant by assertiveness?

The English word "assert" means - to assert. From this word came the psychological concept of "assertiveness" - such an internal state in which a person has his own, independent opinion, but at the same time he is independent of external pressure, from external assessments. There are three scales of response to conflict, negative events: aggressiveness - assertiveness - passivity. Moreover, assertiveness is in the middle, as the most correct and calm state.

Faced with negativity, a person most often has two main reactions: aggressiveness - to respond with swearing to swearing, anger to anger, as a result - conflict, spoiled mood, frayed nerves, bad relationships, in extreme cases - there are worse consequences. The second response option: passivity - when a person runs away from a dangerous conflict. This can be expressed in passive silence, inaction, leaving the room where the conflict flares up, avoiding negative situations or a negative person for you. This option is non-aggressive, but it brings spiritual devastation, dissatisfaction with oneself, humiliation.

But there is a third option for responding to negativity - assertiveness. Various sages of antiquity have always adhered to this "golden mean", the most correct option for responding to conflict situations.

assertive state- this is an autonomous state, the ability to have one's own opinion, and not aggressive, in need of upholding, like a fighting cock, but a calm, analytical assessment of events or people. Being in an assertive state, it is difficult to put pressure on a person, it is difficult to manipulate him. Such a person is internally, psychologically stable, he is independent of other people's assessments, from outside opinions, from standard frameworks.

Assertiveness is somewhat detached - it allows you to look at the negative situation from the outside, and, moreover, not indifferently or coldly, but as if you are looking at the stage from the theater hall, but at the same time you are not just a spectator, but an arbiter who must give his opinion about the created situations, their decision, to give an internal assessment of what is happening. But it is important not to impose an internal assessment of what is happening on others, not to dictate your will and not to prove your opinion as the only correct one.

Assertive personality traits

It is important to develop assertive skill:

Quickly deal with a negative situation;

Analyze it;

Develop your own position regarding it and all participants - why it arose, who is the instigator, what are the true and external causes of its occurrence, what the consequences can be and what can be done in such a situation;

Do not violate other people's psychological boundaries - do not attack, do not insult, do not scold;

To be able to protect your own psychological boundaries - to remain calm and balanced, not to take insults personally, not to be offended, not to let someone else's anger deep into your soul.

Confucius said: "No one can be humiliated until they feel humiliated". Russian folk wisdom says: "They carry water on the offended". This is the stereotypical thinking of the last century - that one must respond with an insult for an insult, with a blow for a blow, and that if you do not answer, then you are a coward, and you cannot "allow you to wipe your feet on yourself", etc. Self-esteem does not consist in an aggressive retaliatory strike, but in a calm, wise and balanced reaction to any negative. Among the monkeys in the herd, the true leader is not the one who behaves most defiantly and yells and bullies the most, but the one who sits a little further away, somewhat detached, he is the calmest, and it is he who solves all conflicts.

Applying Assertiveness

"When a stick is thrown, the lion looks at the one who threw the stick, and the dog looks at the stick itself. There is a huge difference between them." So is assertiveness - understanding the conflict, look at who and why threw the stick and react to it correctly. Assertiveness can help in the following ways:

Resolution of any conflict situations, both in a work environment and in a domestic or home environment;

Understand your internal disagreements;

Learn to perform a variety of, even unpleasant, work, to overcome time pressure - without stress and panic;

Improve your professionalism at work;

Ability to establish and maintain relationships with different clients;

Do not lose an aggressive client;

Develop self-esteem.

Let's look at some practical examples of assertiveness. It is worth bearing in mind that people are often vengeful, even in small things. Sometimes it manifests itself at a very deep subconscious level. How can this be overcome? A paradoxical response: positive to negative. For example, in the office, you have to approach an employee and, after showing him a poorly done job, ask him to redo it. The reaction of the employee may be:

1) aggressive - indignation "I did everything well", "they find fault with me", "redo it yourself";

2) passive - dismissive throwing the folder on the table, "okay, I'll do it later", detached silence.

In any case, you will hear impartial remarks addressed to you: if you are on an equal footing and colleagues, then right in your face, if you are a leader, then behind your back. It is rare that someone will show the right reaction and calmly ask: "What exactly needs to be redone? What mistakes have I made?" and then say, "OK, I'll redo it."

What can you do with assertiveness? First, understand why this employee did such a poor job: tired, sick, something is not right at home, he is incompetent, he is tired of his work, it's time for a vacation, etc. Your reaction depends on what answer you get. But in any case, you can manifest something positive and unexpected. For example: "I understand that you are tired of everything and you are tired, I also have such a mood, but it would be better if we try and redo the work", warmly thank the employee "thank you, you know that I like horror films" , and your report was from this series", etc. An unexpected, and even with a sense of humor, answer can neutralize vindictiveness. It may also help to attract joint work, to a joint discussion: "let's see together how we can fix this situation", "first we all calm down, have a cup of coffee, and then think about what we can do", etc.

In any case, it is important to show calmness, understanding and tolerance. Especially, this applies to especially aggressive situations in which emotions rage over the edge and the arguments of the mind are powerless until the person calms down. There are trainings for assertiveness, various techniques that you can learn. But the most important thing is an internal position, thought out and developed, which will allow you to maintain balance in any life situation and not destroy the psychological boundaries of other people.

Stay calm in stressful situations

Anything can piss you off: both serious problems and even the most insignificant trifles. There is nothing wrong with giving vent to emotions, but in some cases it is still better to refrain and calm down. Especially if the emotions are negative.

There are some simple ways to help you quickly pull yourself together and calm down.

1. Sit down, relax, restore your breath. Close your eyes and for 30 seconds imagine cool white water falling like a waterfall over the top of your head and slowly running down from your head to your toes. Then imagine how all the water slowly flows down to the floor in a funnel. Imagine everything in detail. Then take a deep breath and open your eyes.

2. Moisten your hands with cool water and touch your neck (first with one hand, then with two). Gently, in a circular motion, for 30 seconds, rub the neck and shoulders, gradually increasing the force of pressing the fingers. Then, within 30 seconds, reduce the pressing force to a light touch. Then rinse your neck with cool water.

3. Take a thick towel. Squeeze it well in your hands and twist it with all your might, as if squeezing it. Clench your teeth, close your eyes tightly and strain all the muscles of the body as much as possible (especially in the neck and arms). After 25-30 seconds, abruptly drop the towel on the floor and relax your muscles.

Using these simple exercises, you can quickly recover and calm down both before an important event and after an unpleasant quarrel. Most importantly, remember that there are very few things in the world that are really worth the nerves you spent.

How sometimes everyone lacks peace of mind. How much easier it would be to endure adversity if you learn to treat everything less emotionally and demandingly. The one who knows how to control himself, and looks calm, no matter what happens, is much more protected from negative consequences in his life than the one who is used to overreacting to everything. To protect yourself and loved ones, you need to learn to be more calm and restrained than usual, or rather, to become calmer. And you can do it at any age.

All diseases from nerves

More and more often you can hear the phrase that all diseases are from nerves. Whether this is so, or just a simplified view of the existing problems, it does not matter. Indeed, in fact, it is precisely how balanced a person is that can protect him not only from possible problems with psychological health, but also with physical health. Judge for yourself whether constant irritation, anger, hatred or breakdowns, ending in screams and scandals, can really have a beneficial effect on the psyche or the body as a whole.

In some cases, shouting out is the only way to relieve the accumulated tension. But what is it like to hear those who are nearby, and well-being after this leaves much to be desired. Therefore, it is much safer not to bring yourself to such a state. And this can be helped not only by discussing problems as soon as they appear on the horizon, but also by a more relaxed attitude towards them.

Learn to let go

Not everything that people experience is so dangerous and should cause anger and indignation, as it seems at first glance. Of course, most will immediately remember a lot of reasons why they cannot be calm. Lack of money, problems in personal life, difficulties at work, nervous atmosphere on TV, and a lot of different small and big troubles that poison life.

Of course, they are difficult to avoid. To do this, you need to be patient and make some efforts. But who said that the speed of their resolution depends on how much a person will be nervous and worried. On the contrary, the more irritated and indignant he is, the more difficult it is to concentrate and deal with what is preventing him from living. And sometimes it makes it impossible. Because in anger people do not notice clues, do not hear reasonable advice, are not able to ask for help, they only torment themselves and those who are nearby, waste their strength and energy.

Our energy is not unlimited, it requires a careful attitude and time to recover, and such strong emotions consume it very quickly. And there is no longer any strength left to analyze the available information and take certain actions. So remember, being calm is not only necessary to protect your health, but also to make it easier to solve the most difficult issues. And this must be understood.

Change your attitude

But, even if you have a ready plan in your hands, what should be done to be more calm, but not understanding what benefit it will bring, very soon you will give up on everything, and everything will return to normal. As you know, success can be achieved only by realizing why endure all the difficulties that will have to be overcome on the way to the goal.

It is impossible to turn into a reasonable and unflappable person at the click of a button. Everyone has their own character, attitude to life and peculiarities of the psyche. Someone is more excitable, but nature endowed someone with a strong nervous system and it is difficult to piss him off. And no one can change that. We can only change our attitude to what is happening in our lives and look at it from a different angle.

When you feel ready to achieve the goal, you will understand that you really need it, then it's time to change. Until that happens, don't waste your time. Otherwise, your hands will drop even more, and you will decide once and for all that nothing can be changed. Few people endure persistently unsuccessful attempts. They give strength to only a few and make them try again and again until the desired result is obtained. Everyone else is not used to giving all the best and retreats immediately after the first failure, and no longer seeks to change their lives.

Determine what type of person you are, and choose the moment when you can become calmer, and not get another argument that this is impossible, and life will not let you relax for a minute.

Make time for yourself

When you realize that you are ready, start by setting aside time for yourself when no one can disturb you. Let it be only 15 minutes a day, but they should belong exclusively to you. Don't let anyone invade your personal space and distract you. With the existing load, think about what needs to be done to protect yourself from calls, appeals or conversations, what you need to say to others or where to go so that no one interferes. And try to make these 15 minutes not only 2-3 times a week, but daily. And over time, it is desirable to increase this time. Take this time for yourself. It seems that this is unattainable, but you can be alone with yourself when you listen to music, read a book or watch TV. You just need to learn to switch off from external stimuli.

In addition, this will allow you to be distracted even at a time when the boss decided to vent his anger, and a passenger in a crowded transport or a driver in a neighboring car showed his upbringing, and it turned out to be below the baseboard. In general, you need to train yourself not to pay attention to those who do not mean anything in your life.

Make comments

There is no point in overreacting to rude behavior. It is enough to make a remark so that they do not become even more arrogant from impunity, but do this only if they cannot harm you and really did it on purpose, and not out of stupidity.

Get rid of irritants

From those who are not distinguished by intelligence at all, it is better to get rid of them as soon as possible. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to evoke a sense of peace, you cannot resist nature. And if someone or something really annoys you, there is one way: stop communicating and seeing each other, and do not watch such programs, do not read materials or narrow-minded and offensive comments.

Be sure to define a list of irritants and start eliminating them from your life. Those that cannot be removed will have to be turned into something that will no longer have a negative effect.

Your reaction is your health!

Remember, not everything can be changed, but you can always change your attitude towards this. When someone is very annoying, imagine him in a stupid position, remember a funny story with his participation or naked. Our dissatisfaction is often caused by the fact that we take everyone and everything too seriously. Bring some humor into your life. Laughter prolongs life.

Compared to real tragedies, the stupid behavior of another does not deserve attention at all. The same applies to lack of money and relationship problems. After all, you should look for a way to fix the situation, and not use them as an occasion for worries.

From the constant thoughts that “Everything is gone Senya”, they will not resolve themselves, but you will spend time, and the situation will become even more difficult. So get used to reacting to difficulties in life as a challenge that you are able to overcome once they arise, and not as an irritant.

The main thing is to believe!

Believe that you can do everything. It is unlikely that you would have survived to this day if you were completely helpless and unable to deal with any difficulties. So you have no reason to be nervous. Show everything you are capable of, prove to yourself that you know how to be calm and collected when necessary, and everything else is too small and insignificant for you to continue to worry about any reason.

Also don't try to solve all the problems of the world. And be sure to sleep as much as you need, it is better to give up watching TV shows than from an extra hour of sleep. A tired nervous system is much more difficult to cope with stress. And, of course, do a sport that gives you pleasure, not forgetting about a good rest that improves your mood. Hurry and overwork are catalysts for a bad and nervous state. Without proper rest, no nervous system, no matter how strong it is, will not be able to cope with external stimuli.

In order not to want to correct in yourself, the main thing is to understand why this is necessary. And then no one can stop you from achieving what you want. And having become much calmer than before, you will be surprised to notice how much life around you has ceased to seem so nervous and complicated. You will find many things in it that will delight you and fill you with hope.