Hello. I always felt like a second-class person, because my mother and I lived alone and lived poorly. Relatives in my childhood "spoke" me, and since childhood I have had a strong self-doubt. I am always very demanding of myself, and I am constantly engaged in self-eating, that I said something wrong to someone, I did something wrong. I don’t have a very good relationship with my husband, I don’t have enough of the emotions that he addresses to me. I want to be loved more. Therefore, I constantly flirt with other men and then my conscience eats me that I am like a girl of easy virtue.
I am now 23. I work as a chief accountant, and still consider myself a nonentity. I even try to approach the boss less, so as not to bother.
I always think that I could have done differently, better. I think that about everything, right up until I said hello to someone. And it always seems that people notice all this, remember, and then discuss me and do not respect me.
Previously, my mother could support me in this, but now my mother has died. I sorely lack communication with someone to open up. As a result, I get like verbal diarrhea when I start talking to someone. And then again I think, why did I tell a stranger everything about myself, I had to be silent.
I can't get over the fact that I'm like this. It seems like I'm trying to consider myself a normal, not stupid person, and then again I make myself look like a fool.

Hello Vera!

I understand you very much, it's hard to live, constantly "eating" yourself with criticism. And I know from my own experience that it is very difficult to unlearn self-criticism. I would recommend that you work with a psychologist in order to understand where this habit comes from and neutralize this negative program. If desired, we can work on Skype. If you are not yet ready for such work, start keeping a success diary. Buy a beautiful notebook and write down in it every evening all your achievements, even small ones, and in the second column write down your qualities that helped you in this. Reread it constantly. If you want to criticize yourself, say to yourself: "That's what I did! Well, if I did it this way, I can do it differently next time!" Take it as an axiom: we are all strong in our hindsight. But at a given moment in time, we always make the most correct decision, based on the state in which we are. Understand that by criticizing ourselves, we only underestimate our self-esteem. All this is very well written in the books of Marusya Svetlova. Find and read the book "Thought creates reality", I think you will find there good tools to get out of your current state.

All the best!

Perfilyeva Inna Yurievna, psychologist in Rostov-on-Don

Good answer 6 bad answer 1

Hello Vera.

Childhood experiences have a serious impact on a person's adult life, this is a fact. You yourself feel that you have not overcome it until now. You lack even simple participation, due to the lack of love in your childhood, and now you compensate for this with uncontrolled flirting. So the little girl living in you is looking for love and care.

Vera, I highly recommend that you work out your attitudes with a specialist, constantly feeling like a "insignificance" terribly unwinds the nervous system, creates the prerequisites for self-dislike, depressive states, and neuroses. Choose a psychologist you feel trust in - and step towards a new you, you have all the possibilities for this, and a psychologist will help you find resources. I also offer you my help and support in the form of skype consultations.

Sincerely,

Trofimova Julia, psychologist, Elektrostal, skype consultation

Good answer 4 bad answer 1

Faith, hello.
Indeed, such a feeling of oneself greatly complicates Life and spoils its quality. Apparently, you are a smart, successful person - at such a young age you became the chief accountant. You realized that it is difficult to live like this and turned to psychologists for support. But in absentia it is difficult to understand the reason for your experiences of yourself. The fact that now there is not enough love means that you did not receive it in the family, with your mother. If she brought you up alone, then it is clear that she had to survive. And there is no time for love. And you are still hungry in this sense. And now, no matter how much you are loved, you will feel like a hungry girl. And it's always hard, both for you and for those who are close to you. Therefore, this difficulty should be solved with a specialist. You can contact psychologists in your city or choose on our website. Sincerely.

Silina Marina Valentinovna, Ivanovo psychologist

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Psychologist's answer.

Hello Alexandra!

Let's go in order.

You want to know how to deal with low self-esteem, right?

Start praising yourself, learn to notice your merits, look positively at your actions.

For example, tell yourself: I’m great for taking responsibility for my life into my own hands and taking concrete steps to fix what doesn’t suit me - in this case, we are talking about the fact that you turned to a specialist for help.

You know what you want: "I want to live and enjoy life." Knowing what you want is a trait of confident people. Check it out for yourself!

Then you write that after school you “lost” a whole year. Are you sure you lost it? Try to rephrase this sentence so that it has a positive meaning. Perhaps you did not like the specialty that you entered? What do you want to become, what specialty do you see as the most attractive for you? According to your inclinations? The one where you can develop your abilities? Perhaps you needed to specifically think about everything, to understand yourself, without being distracted by anything? And then this year can not be considered lost!

You do not sit idly by, you work - and any work is worthy of respect!

What exactly scares you on the street, what thoughts and emotions appear when you leave the house? To what extent do they really correspond to the real state of affairs? ..

Yes, character traits can be changed, but first you need to accept those that are and love yourself already the way you are now. Treat yourself with understanding, approval, care, love!

You write, you need education. Change the word "need" to "want". Do you want education? Answer yourself: why? What matters here is what you want! I want to because... continue on your own.

“How should I be and what should I do?” Ask yourself what has kept you undervalued so far? What advantages did you find for yourself from the current state of affairs? What are you willing to do, what to invest (effort, time, etc.) to improve the quality of your life?..

The process of becoming a confident person will go faster and easier if you read special literature, for example, Albert Ellis "Humanistic Psychotherapy", Louise Hay "Heal Your Life", and other books or work on your self-esteem with a psychologist for a while.

Hello, my name is Dima, I'm 22. I have a very strong depression. The fact is that I consider myself a real nonentity. My self-esteem dropped to -100, if not more. No girls, I consider myself a freak, and some of the fair sex expressed this directly. Parents are divorced, constantly conflicted and quarreled. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I play sports. I was not very lucky with my health: seborrheic dermatitis, incurable, plus I am overweight, despite sports. I study at an institute where I don’t like my specialty at all, but because of laziness I couldn’t go anywhere else, so I had to go where my relatives work. I feel like a complete nonentity, I don’t want to live, I don’t see any future for myself. I always look at peers - more successful, fit and athletic, with wild envy and feel like a worm against their background. I do not know what to do. Can you advise something? Thanks in advance.

Dmitry, Rostov, 22 years old

Psychologist answer:

Hello Dmitry.

Many people, especially in childhood and adolescence, have heard unpleasant things about themselves (nicknames, name-calling, careless statements of peers, etc.). But not for everyone this becomes a conviction, because these are not facts, these are just the opinions of other people. What is the opposite of this? Your own experience, those messages that you directly or indirectly received from significant, close, authoritative people - what kind of person you are, how you look. If at the same time your experiences from such feedback from loved ones (family, parents) were negative, then your beliefs will also be negative. This is especially facilitated by such factors as systematic punishment, lack of care, praise, warmth, love or interest (indifference of loved ones), parental conflict, intimidation by parents, name calling, lack of support, which causes a feeling of loss, hopelessness and fills the child with self-hatred. . Excessive care and support indiscriminately also makes the child insecure and unable to cope with the reality of the world around him, this also reduces self-esteem. Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse is the most common source of low self-esteem, and family belief systems (religious and other systems) can make a child feel like they are constantly sinning and constantly being disapproved of by authority figures. As you can see, it is worth understanding the source, the reasons, because you have not only become vulnerable to the statements of other people, but also maintain the image of "insignificance" in yourself. Your therapy takes time, the task is to become your own best friend, a good inner parent. Consider contacting a psychologist in person or remotely via Skype.

Sincerely, Lipkina Arina Yurievna.

Question to the psychologist:

Good afternoon. I am 20 years old. I don't know where to start because there is so much to say. I guess I should start with the fact that I feel like a nonentity. That I'm worse than others. Unsure, constantly feeling guilty, ugly, uninteresting, weak. I feel that I am saying something wrong, I am behaving in a wrong way, I walk in a wrong way, I look in a wrong way, I dress wrongly, I act in a wrong way. That everyone is watching and judging. I feel constantly dirty, although I wash daily. I feel negativity in my body, soul, like dirt on my body. Even though she didn't do anything wrong. I'm afraid of everything. I am being treated by a psychiatrist. Anxiety-phobic disorder. I have been taking antidepressants, sedatives, for three years now. Plus VSD. I always carry pills with me, ammonia. I'm afraid to faint (this has already happened). Low pressure. Sometimes there is a feeling of unreality, obsessive thoughts and states always. Before going to bed, you need to check everything 5 times - gas, door. Although I remember that I turned it off, I think, what if there is a fire, or something there is not completely closed. I need to control everything so that everything is perfect. I'm so tired of it, sometimes my head just explodes from pain. I am very suspicious. My parents take great care of me, although what I described, it all happens in the soul, no one sees it. They don’t let you go anywhere after 17:00 in winter - it’s dark, there’s nothing to wander around the streets at night. I'm not like that, I don't like nightclubs. But sometimes you really want to take a walk with a girlfriend or a boy. Dad is hysterical about this. Grandma takes care. You leave home for the city to study for a week - wave your pen through the window (on the way to the station). I can't live like this. Came from the university - call, left - call. They are very anxious. Constantly asking how are you, nothing happened? I can not take it anymore. There are only bad thoughts in my head - what if something happens. I love them very much and I'm afraid to offend, I'll say something and the guilt overwhelms me so much that I can't breathe.

I don't have a boyfriend, I'm terribly lonely and afraid to be alone. I always sit at home at the computer - either study or the Internet. I tried to get acquainted there, but they are either vulgar, or swear, or smoke and drink. I do not want it. I can't bear it. I'm afraid I won't be able to find a decent guy and I'll stay an old maid. I don’t know how to be friends with guys, I perceive every male person as a future guy. And it's already driving me crazy. I am also very afraid of relationships and intimate ones as well. I'm afraid that I will be offended, mocked and abandoned, that they will laugh at my inexperience or something else. Everywhere the cult of intimacy, but I want to communicate, I want to walk, hold hands. I have never had such a thing, no one cared for me.

I started watching bloggers on YouTube. There is one couple who takes pictures every day. They are so beautiful, good, positive, happy. I started living their life. I stopped perceiving myself. I don't want to take care of myself. What for? I'm still ugly, no one looks at me. I can’t hear myself behind all these videos, advice from relatives and others. I want to sit down and look at one point, without thinking about anything. But I can't stop watching the video. It's like a drug now.

I recently had grief. I lost a close friend. My cat has died. He was with me always. I am terribly hurt by the fact that I will never be able to return him, return childhood with him, hug him. He died while I was in town studying. I constantly remember the words of my mother on the phone - the cat died yesterday. As I imagine that he is in the ground, it is dark, cold, wet, it makes me feel so sick. I don't know how to live with this pain. I'm afraid of losing my loved ones. So I wrote this and now I think, what if it really comes true because I said it? I'm very tired. I have no one to talk to. I often drink Corvalol, because it's hard to breathe and I can't calm down at night, not cry and fall asleep. Sorry for the confusion, it was very hard for me to carry this in myself.

The psychologist Zhuravlev Alexander Evgenievich answers the question.

Hello Inna.

Thank you for your candid letter. It's probably really hard for you.

In general, a cool letter, where, as it were, every question contains an answer.

I am not pretty! - So be beautiful!

I'm worse than others! - So be better than others!

I'm afraid of everything! - Be brave!

There are, Inna, questions for you.

Were you often bullied as a child? Mom and dad said to you: “Where are you going to play with other children, daughter! You are terrible with us, and they are out, handsome !!!

Do your parents take care of you only in winter, when it gets dark early? Or summer too? But after 22:00

You need a decent guy - that's class. But with your anxiety states, obsessive-compulsive manifestations, fears and strange self-esteem, it will not be easy to find such a person.

Tell me, did you ever have a boyfriend? If so, how did the relationship develop? Was it love or just like that?

And friends??? Were there (or are there) friends and girlfriends? How have relationships with peers been built throughout your life?

What do you love the most? What are you most afraid of? What are your cherished dreams?

How do you see your future and how would you like to see it???

It's so easy to help in a letter to a person who::: ATTENTION:::

Observed by a psychiatrist;

Listed (in the form of self-diagnosis) about five most serious neuroses and psychosomatic disorders;

He says to himself that "Unsure, constantly feel guilty, ugly, uninteresting, weak";

Moans from the attention of relatives, calling it "hyper-custody", etc.

(continuing the phrase) is not possible.

But I will try to do something.

Tell me, talking about philosophy and looking for an idea - can this work?

Well, let's say banal things like "life is a precious gift from God" or "look around - there are a lot of really unhappy people in the world"! BUT?

Are you a believer at all? To be honest, it would be good for you to "clean up". But not physically (this topic sounds very bright in your letter), but energetically, or something ... It doesn’t matter if it’s in church, at yoga classes, in the park, looking at the sky, listening to your favorite music and so on. Cleanse yourself energetically - track and remove from your head everything that prevents you from moving into the future!!! And these are, first of all, your thoughts and your strange beliefs.

Exclude ALL CRITICAL CONCLUSIONS AND THOUGHTS, all dogmas and attitudes of a critical nature, everything in which resentment is heard - resentment against the world, parents, oneself, etc.

"I am not pretty". "I can't do anything." "All the guys are vulgar, and I'm not interested in the non-vulgar." "That's my fault". "I'm offended." I can go on ad infinitum.

All this in your head can be changed into ONE-TWO key phrases-ideas or affirmative attitudes:

"I forgive you all for not being the way I would like you to be. And you will forgive me for not being the way you would like me to be."

"Thank you for making me understand better and now I know what to do!"

This is covered in more detail in the book you really need: Louise Hay, The Power Within Us.

And in general, any Hay book is a real gift to people with a story like yours. And (for some reason I'm sure) all your troubles will pass. Even somatic.

You are too reveling in your problems, Inna. This, too, is visible to the naked eye. I read carefully, but nowhere did I find one thing: have you yourself ever tried to fight? Without the help of specialists and doctors! What did you actually try to do?

VSD? Questions about cardiovascular activity? Breathe heavily? So this, Inna, is treated quite easily.

You are 20 years old. Have you tried physical exercises and elementary home physiotherapy in the form of a dull contrast shower?

If you need to start somewhere, then this is it!

Something I do not like is that you are "addicted" to psychiatry and drug therapy.

Try what I suggest. Maybe it will get better?

You have written absolutely nothing about HOW EXACTLY you live! You are working? Are you studying? What is the schedule of your day?

I will act randomly!

1. Daily routine. It MUST BE REINFORCED CONCRETE! Getting up and going to bed at about the same time. You should sleep at least (preferably and no more) 7-8 hours.

2. After waking up, you don’t need to immediately jump out of bed. You should have a small "backlash" - three to five minutes, when you just lie down with your eyes closed, but without sleep. At this time, you BREATHE: inhale 1-2-3, exhale 1-2-3-4-5, mentally saying "good morning, Innusya"! Exactly!

3. Go to the kitchen and calmly drink a glass of water.

4. Shower. Necessarily! And start with comfortable-warm. You have to warm yourself and then five seconds of cold (or cool) water. Then warm again. The cycle can be as long as you like. But you must complete this physiotherapy procedure with WARM water!

For psychology, I’ll add: a great way to set yourself up is to say an old and very nice saying-mantra during the shower: “Like water off a goose, so thinness (poverty, emptiness, etc.)!”

It works! Yes!

5. It is after the shower - 5 minutes of physical warm-up.

Everything should be very comfortable. My scheme (specifically for VSD nicknames):

1 minute - jumping;

2 minutes - calm squats at a slow pace. This is 3 sets of 10 squats with pauses for rest.

1 minute - push-ups from the floor "on the knees". That is, you stand on the floor in emphasis on your hands and knees (on all fours) and do push-ups. that's all! Three three times five push-ups!

1 minute - any exercises for the press on the floor.

Everything is in a calm comfortable rhythm, not demanding anything from yourself, but trying as much as possible!

6. Rest 5 minutes.

7. Breakfast (required!): Hot drink + any porridge (except semolina and rice). You don't need bread.

8. According to your individual plan.

Nothing particularly complicated or costly. And most importantly, start doing.

Inna! I guarantee you an improvement in mood. And if the mood is good, then something will definitely work out!

You haven't written anything about other "sources" of positive emotions, except for this video blog. But if there is, then that's fine! Still, there are people you would like to be like.

So, dear! In fact, this kind of morning will DEFINITELY make you much closer to these people, in terms of lifestyle!

But!!! You need to look for other opportunities to "feed" your motivation.

Besides the Internet, do you like something else? Clothing, music, cinema, theater, books, etc. Search and try!

But you need to start with the most important thing: you must definitely streamline your life. You have to develop your own style! And the regimen of the day and doing yourself-beloved - this is number one!

It feels like you need to tie with psychiatry. Unless you're talking about schizophrenia. Everything else, all your compulsive and obsessive "manifestations", I'm afraid, are only getting worse.

You definitely have neurosis. He needs to be treated with medication. But, following your story, everything is not very successful so far. Conclusion: it is necessary to change therapy, methods and (or) doctors!

Hold on!!! Everything will definitely be fine if you write to us regularly and at least put something into practice from what highly qualified specialists advise, in general.

4.7903225806452 Rating 4.79 (31 votes)

Very often you have to hear the saying: “I feel like a nonentity. And nothing about her makes her happy. Paradoxically, not only deeply unhappy people who do not have a roof over their heads and a piece of bread to live on characterize their condition in this way. Even the most successful and self-sufficient individuals sometimes get discouraged when a streak of failure accompanies them for a long time. We will try to understand the problem and try to solve it as soon as possible.

Why did I become a loser

“How to live if you feel like nothing?” - such thoughts come to the mind of completely different people: choleric and phlegmatic, cheerful and misanthropic, introverts and extroverts, optimists and pessimists. Temporary despondency covered at some period of time each of us, only to a greater or lesser extent. Since material well-being is a priority in all aspects of life, it is considered to be the main factor of good luck. To some extent, this is true, since a person needs a certain amount of money every day in order not to die of hunger. At the same time, each of us knows that money cannot fully satisfy the needs of a person, especially with regard to moral aspects. A worthless person feels like a worthless person when he is not loved, not respected, or simply ignored. And the degree of his experiences, believe me, does not depend on the amount of deposits in his accounts.

In support of the above thought, one can recall the great people who remained in poverty during their lifetime and received recognition only after death. How can they be called losers, because they have gained worldwide popularity? We consider them the most successful, but neither Van Gogh, nor Gauguin, nor hundreds of other masters unrecognized during their lifetime could ever feel the rays of glory. They suffered and needed an extra penny, considering themselves the most insignificant people in the world.

Signs of a classic loser

“I feel worthless and a loser,” say people who have fallen into despair. In order to realize and evaluate your condition (this is the first step in solving the problem), you need to analyze what obvious signs should be present in this case. Perhaps this is just a momentary weakness that will quickly pass and leave no trace. But if you know your current state, you should start thinking about further tactics and strategy, which we will talk about later. So, the signs of a loser are:

• constant search for self-justification;
• exposing the shortcomings of other people is a "balm" for one's self-esteem;
• the constant presence of envy towards other, more successful people (even strangers);
• constant;
• the presence of guilt in front of loved ones, since a person cannot provide them with a decent life;
• there is irritability, constant grumbling, chronic dissatisfaction with everything that happens around;
• there is a feeling of anxiety, melancholy or depression;
• haunted by thoughts of the past, and regret that nothing can be changed;
• fear that life is wasted;
• panicky attitude to the monotonous regularity of life.

The reasons

If after this list you have established yourself in the thought: “I finally feel like a complete nonentity”, then the description hit the nail on the head. And before dealing with the consequences, it is necessary to find out the causes of this condition:

1. Parents spoiled too much. The child is used to getting everything on demand. As an adult, a person is faced with reality, when others are in no hurry to fulfill all his whims. He is disappointed, so he feels like a failure.
2. Excessive strictness in education. From childhood, the child is accustomed to the fact that too much is required of him. He tried his best, but his strength was not enough. He just dried up and lost interest in life.
3. Perfectionism. The man raised the bar too high, which he can not overcome in any way. Constant demands on oneself and the desire for an ideal does not find its embodiment in life (it is impossible to succeed everywhere and in everything). The lack of success in one of life's aspects is the reason for feeling like a worthless person.
4. Escape from reality. Some individuals live in their own fantasy world. This is due to temperament (introverts prefer to be alone with their thoughts), lifestyle (isolation, lack of communication skills, neglect of their health), addictions (alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction). Returning to the real world, a person is lost and feels like a failure.
5. Excessive daydreaming. Sometimes people get too carried away with their dreams and begin to confuse them with reality. They come up with such projects for themselves that will never come true. For example, a person wants to earn a billion or settle on Mars, while he does not have a decent income and is afraid to fly on an airplane. It is necessary to objectively evaluate your capabilities, so as not to be disappointed later.

miraculous transformation

It's time to decide why I still feel like a jerk and what needs to be done to get rid of this obsessive thought. If a person was able to give himself a characterization (even the most negative), he already deserves praise. Only those who are not able to evaluate themselves remain a loser until the end of their days. The saddest thing is that he himself does not realize this, the surrounding people give him such an assessment. And this is much worse than excessive self-criticism. It is self-doubt that is the driving force for changing the situation for the better, so do not panic, but rather actively take action.

The best advice on how to stop feeling like a jerk is a call to action. It is safe to say that in thirty days a person can feel a real result if he adheres to the thirty rules. To do this, it is necessary to make every effort not to forget any of them. Each day, one new recommendation must be added. They are classified into certain sections, if desired, they can be swapped (but just do not get confused). To begin with, it is recommended to familiarize yourself with the full list of all the rules, and then proceed to the gradual development.

Do your best

Statements of fact such as “I feel unwanted” should be forgotten in the first place. This is an erroneous impression, since it does not happen that a person does not have a single acquaintance who would like to contact him. In all likelihood, this is the choice of the individual himself, since he does not need extraneous attention.

Extreme efforts are urgently needed to rectify the situation. This can be done with the following tips:

1. Give up the habit of blaming other people. Whatever happens, you need to look for solutions based on your own behavior (analyzing the path traveled and making plans for the future), let the actions of others remain not yours, but their problems.
2. Get rid of unnecessary things. To do this, you need to correctly prioritize and do only what is beneficial. We are talking about work, leisure and good sleep, and endless TV viewing or hanging on social networks should be eliminated or reduced to a minimum.
3. Forget past failures. No need to doubt, whine and compare current plans with past events. There is nothing in common between them.
4. Strive for improvement. To understand how to learn to value yourself, you need to try to do each new business better than the previous one.
5. Do things that bring you a positive attitude. We are talking about a new hobby, visiting various establishments, exciting travels, etc. Everyone decides what exactly gives him pleasure.
6. To apologize. If you did something wrong, ask for forgiveness for your behavior. By doing this, you can lighten your soul and follow the path of new victories without unnecessary moral burden.

Expand your limits

The realization that "I am nothing" will remain forever forgotten if you continue to follow the following recommendations:

1. Assess your fears objectively. You can understand how dangerous they are if you look at them from the outside and imagine the most negative outcome of the situation. If nothing threatens your life, then the attitude towards fears is too exaggerated.
2. Put in extra effort. Try to do even better work, don't be afraid to put in extra effort for a better result. Over time, full dedication will become a habit, and efforts will pay off handsomely.
3. Don't focus on other people's opinions. This is how you can understand how to learn to appreciate yourself. Definitely behavior should be worthy, but people's judgments are always subjective. Listen to yourself, because it is impossible to please everyone.
4. Experiment with problems. It is recommended to choose a case that requires some effort. An easy victory does not bring complete satisfaction, so it makes sense to bet on your own strength.
5. Question all situations. Do not immediately dwell on the obvious answer to the question, you need to consider other options.

Be brave and determined

A person will never be able to say about himself that I am a nonentity if he listens to the following advice:

1. Set yourself up for the long term. Only reasonable planning will lead to a long-awaited victory, quick successes are not always the key to prosperity.
2. Don't despair. Do not feel sorry for yourself and analyze failures for a long time, this will turn into a waste of time. You need to draw the necessary conclusions and begin another attempt to improve your life.
3. Don't stop half way. If everything is going well, but the real result has not yet been achieved, you should not stop. Not everything can change overnight, you need to be patient.
4. Don't stop moving towards success. Even if there is almost no strength left, you need to take a break and move on. Real victories do not come by themselves, they must be won. This is what all successful people do.

Don't be afraid to make big plans

To the question of how to get out of despondency and depression, there is one answer: dream and plan. Thoughts tend to turn into reality, so grandiose prospects will definitely benefit. To do this, you need to take the following steps:

1. Plan more than expected as a result. There is no need to build unrealistic plans, but it is simply necessary to raise the bar. This encourages more responsible and constructive work.
2. Think big. No need to be afraid to take risks, the plan should be more global than the banal lack of loss. Plan things that lead to profit (or improvement) rather than a modest balance between good and bad.
3. Forget recognition. This is not about the lack of glory and honor, but about the fact that you do not need to strive for it on the way to achieving the goal. Work is an exceptional priority, and the respect of others will only be a reward.
4. Prepare for defeat. This is a common situation on the path to success, since it is not possible to achieve everything the first time (statistics testify to this). There will be many obstacles on the way, it is necessary to treat them philosophically.

Give people gratitude

You will never be able to utter the phrase: "I feel like a jerk" if you heed the following tips:

1. See the positives. In any, even the most disastrous situation, it is necessary to look for positive aspects. They must be present, because "a negative result is also a result."
2. Capture the positives. It is necessary to make it a rule to write down all your achievements and positive moments in life. By periodically rereading your triumphs, you will build barriers between fear and reality. It is very useful to remember how terrible everything seemed and how ordinary it became at the end.
3. Stop fussing. There is no need to rush anywhere and make unnecessary movements, it is better to plan your time wisely.
4. Thank people more often. Get into the habit of saying "thank you" for every service you receive. Soon you will see how many positive emotions such communication with people will bring.
5. Laugh at yourself. This is very important when a person knows how to laugh at himself, because it is self-irony that allows you to relax and look at your mistakes from a different angle.

Conquer your fears and concerns

I feel like nothing. Such an attitude towards yourself will be impossible, because, approaching the final stage, you will already have something to be proud of. But for complete satisfaction, you need to take a few more steps:

1. Choose the optimal operating mode. An increase in the hormone cortisol leads to negative changes in the body. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to provide the brain with rest, since it is necessary for the restoration of moral and spiritual strength.
2. Control emotions. You should not succumb to impulsive desires and whims, and anxiety and fear must be kept under control.
3. Listen to objective opinions from the outside. It is necessary to find a person whom you can trust and consult with him on some issues. Your point of view and a view from the side will help to recreate the true picture of what is happening.
4. Normalize activity. Active activity suppresses fear. In order not to repeat "I feel unnecessary", it is better to do something than to sit and be afraid.
5. Get rid of the negative. It is recommended to think exclusively positively and not project negative experiences (your own and others') onto yourself. The expressions “I am always unlucky” or “something bad always happens to me” should be permanently excluded from your vocabulary.
6. Avoid extremes. Since there are many shades in life between black and white, it would be a smart decision to try not to be so categorical. It is necessary to consider the situation from different angles, be flexible and be able to always find a compromise.

Summing up, it should be said that thoughts and expressions like “I feel like nothing” have no place in a person’s head. Each individual is a person who deserves respect. You can’t underestimate yourself, give up and mourn your hard and hopeless life. It is necessary to try the above method, it must necessarily bring positive results. And such thoughts will be regarded as temporary weakness or seasonal melancholy. She passed as soon as the gentle sun appeared in the sky.