Friends and guests, hello everyone! How is your mood? I don't ask in vain. Persuading and persuading people is best done in a great mood.

Things are not going well and you want more? In this case, it may be interesting and very useful personal development training.

Let's get down to business. Consider how to learn how to persuade people to achieve certain goals. Ready to learn some secrets?

How to persuade?

The sequence of actions can be conditionally divided into 4 stages:

1. Get the location of the person. At a minimum, he should be interested in dialogue. It will be generally great if a person begins to trust you.
2. Identify needs related to your goal. For example, if you are going to persuade a person to make a purchase of real estate, then it will not be superfluous to find out his wishes on this topic. If you want to persuade your boss to raise his salary, then it will be useful to know what results he is striving for and how you can help with this in order to get a well-deserved extra income.
3. Offer an option that suits you completely and presumably meets the identified wishes of the person.
4. Competently answer all objections and get what you want.

If you read my past articles, then you probably saw a similarity with. The “core” of this communication scheme in many cases allows you to correctly and competently convince people to do something.

I must say right away that persuading people over the phone is much more difficult, unlike situations where there is eye contact. Emotions, gestures, facial expressions play a huge role.

The main secret of persuasion

Already have the first thoughts about how you can learn how to properly persuade a person to get what you want? In fact, the approach to each person is individual. Persuasion comes only with experience. It’s hard to do without practice, you won’t go far on theory alone.

Attention! Now I'll "tell" you one cool thing. If you learn how to do this, then the prospects will become simply huge.

A person should think that he himself came to the decision you need, without realizing that he was consistently “led” to it.

I will immediately notice that the whole scheme is built on the benefit of a person. That is, the achievement of your goal should be beneficial to him. Therefore, in no case should you lie.

Consider one curious moment. The interlocutor who needs to be persuaded to do something may have a hidden need. That is, he really needs something, but serious reflections on this topic have not yet arisen. The question should only be raised, updated and correctly presented with the necessary information.

Ways to get location

The above 4 steps work when talking on the phone and during a face-to-face meeting. However, when a person sees the interlocutor there are a number of advantages that allow you to achieve greater trust. Do you know how to do it right?

• Don't argue. Why pure negativity? If you want to convince a person, then emphasize the importance of his opinion and give a few reasons that can change him.
• Talk about what is of interest to the interlocutor.
• Smile. Of course, only if there is a reason for it.
• Use gestures.
• Listen carefully.
• Choose the correct intonation.
• Don't be forced.

This is just a short list. Each situation is different and should be approached accordingly. It just takes practice.

As you can see, learning to win people over is not so difficult as it might seem at first glance. Just during a conversation, a person should feel significant and heard. How often does this happen in real life?

I hope that now it is generally clear how you can learn to persuade different people in order to encourage them to do something. Remember that in each case, actions can be individual.

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Quite often, the success of your business depends on the ability to convince the right person, to influence him so that he accepts your point of view. Unfortunately, the skills and abilities of how to convince a person do not come to us "with mother's milk", we need to learn this.

Persuasion itself is the ability to act directly on a person's consciousness. The bottom line is that, through arguments, you must first achieve agreement from the interlocutor, and then transform it into an attitude that matches your goal.

Every day we encounter people who have a different point of view than ours. Our task is to convince them and transfer them to our side in order to achieve the goal. This task is not easy, but quite doable.

5 main rules

Respect human boundaries:

The ideal distance for a conversation is 20 - 30 centimeters. Coming closer, you will invade the intimate zone, thereby causing irritation in the opponent. You will not be able to convince such a person of something.

Use non-verbal means of communication.

They subconsciously dispose a person. But if used incorrectly or excessively, gestures can, on the contrary, repel. Refuse to have your arms crossed on your chest during an important conversation, keep them open, turning your palms towards the interlocutor. These gestures speak of your openness and sincerity.

Address by name.

The most pleasant word for every person is his name. A person seems to enjoy hearing how others pronounce it. Therefore, do not forget to address by name, and do it often enough (just don't overdo it).

Ask open-ended questions.

They should begin with the words: who, what, how, when. Questions like these make it hard to give detailed answers. The more a person talks, the more relaxed and "accessible" they will be.

Three yes rule.

If a person answered “yes” in the first three questions, then the probability that he will agree to the fourth one doubles. Make sure that the decisive offer is exactly in the 4th place. This will increase your chances of a positive outcome.

There are many more ways to develop the ability to convince people. If you really want to achieve the result you want - act.

Methods of Persuasion

• Ask the interlocutor about the availability of time before you start persuading him. In this way, you will emphasize the importance and your respect for the opponent and his free time.
• Persuade unpredictably, beautifully and interestingly. Get interested in your speech. Psychologically, it is much more difficult to refuse an eloquent person. Don't forget to be polite. Be sure to express your gratitude after achieving the goal.
• Remember about having a smile and your charisma. So people will listen to you, thinking little about the essence of the conversation and accepting your point of view. A good mood will always help in achieving your goal.
• Before you start your persuasion, do something for the person. It will be more difficult for him to refuse you, as there will be a slight sense of guilt and duty to you.
• Try not to be obvious in your blandishments. Let the person come up with the right idea.
• Try to build communication in such a way that the person does not understand that you are persuading him to something.
• Be mentally prepared for rejection. As practice shows, if we are calm about a negative answer, then we hear positive ones more often. Think about it, because from the negative decision of some person, even if it is very important, the world will not cease to exist.
• Bet on honesty. She can disarm anyone. Sincerely admit that you just need to persuade the interlocutor for your own benefit. Many people with such openness agree and go to the aid of a person.
• Know how to stop in time. Don't become annoying and boring. So achieving the goal is almost impossible.

Almost every person should have the ability to convince people. At least in order to convince the husband to throw out the trash or dissuade his wife from buying another expensive fur coat.

Now you know how to learn how to convince people. Try these methods in practice and see how effective they are.

Offer a drink. If you want to convince a person of something, offer them a hot drink during a conversation, such as tea, coffee, or cocoa. If you offer a warm drink, the person subconsciously perceives you as a warm, pleasant and hospitable person. A cold drink can have the opposite effect. Generally, people feel cold and crave warm food and drink when they feel isolated from society. Satisfy their need and they will become more receptive to your words.

Ask questions that suggest a positive “Yes” answer. Start the conversation by asking questions that suggest a positive response, such as: "It's nice weather today, isn't it?", "You want to buy a car at a bargain price, don't you?"

• When you get someone to say yes, it will be easier for you to get the person to say yes, I will buy it.
• It's best to ask vague questions, but make sure your wife knows why you're complimenting the other girl.

Break the touch barrier. Whether you're closing a deal or asking someone out on a date, touch that person casually. A light touch can increase your chances of promoting a product or service - the interlocutor's desire to get closer is activated on a subconscious level.

• Don't pressure people! Try asking the person for a favor a few weeks later.
• During the conversation, try to be as pleasant as possible. If the person is attracted to you, you will be more likely to get what you want.
• There are several ways to look more powerful. You can choose to wear the black suit that is popular with the judges, the police, and the clergy, or you can keep a neutral face. But being dominant doesn't always mean being persuasive. If you are a seller, you need to find a common language with the buyer rather than scare him. If you are a controller, you rather need to keep people in a fist, dominating and dominating them.
• Know when to stop. There are people who are very stubborn, and there are those who simply shun others.
• If you agree to pay later, sign the contract and have a trusted third party present.
• Use the same methods as the sales assistant to take revenge on him and scare him away. For example, when buying a car, have a conversation. Ask questions you know the answers to: "Car sales are down, aren't they?" "Guys, I think you should write off your 2012 car by now!" Thus, the seller will go out of his way to sell the product. Remind employees that their wages have gone down by accident.
• Share your opinion about the situation the person is in. Let's say someone discovers that he can see the future. Tell him how scared you were to find something like this in yourself. Perhaps at first the person will not share with you a story about his gift - wait a few days. Then tell him about a famous psychic. Perhaps now the person will open up. You need to act in stages - often this is how people open up.
• Don't talk too much. Your task is to understand potential customers, not to get into their wallet. Demonstrate the ability to listen and understand so that people can see that you are ready to serve them for their good. Too many words - a waste of time, both yours and potential customers.
• Make them think, "This is what I need!" This will make it easier to convince people.

Warnings

• Don't speak too fast. You must be confident, but if you hurry with the tricks, this can lead to a negative result.
• If you ask too much, your request may be rejected. You didn't ask for anything and think your chances are slim? Treat this person well and when he is in a good mood, ask for what you wanted. If a person is in a bad mood, they are likely to get even more angry.
• Do not persuade a person to do something if the request does not contribute to his well-being.
• Do not act rashly and do not use inappropriate words in your appeals.
• Once a person finds out that you manipulated them, they will feel extremely uncomfortable in your company. Just think how much you hate pushing goods and services or a passive-aggressive family member.
• Be careful when using persuasion techniques on friends. Sometimes you need to make a decision in your favor and convince others of its correctness. On the other hand, if you do this too often, people may think that you are controlling or manipulating them. This may lead to undesirable consequences.

All people are different, and everyone has the right to their own point of view - this or almost this is the philosophical wisdom known for centuries. Say, you need to accept the right of a person to be himself and think in his own way. However, it is extremely difficult to come to terms with this fact. It's one thing when the question concerns fairly neutral questions like "what kind of music do you like" or "which is better: comedies or action movies". But the situation changes dramatically if the opinion of your opponent influences the joint decision. For example, in the case of contracts. Yes, and just in cases where it is fundamentally important to convince a person that you, and not him, are right!

In order to convince a person that he is right, it is enough to know some that allow you to position the interlocutor towards you.

1. Be sincere. Even if everything boils inside you, you must remain calm and composure, otherwise the methods of persuasion will not work. Smile broadly and nonchalantly, don't get under your opponent's skin, loosen your grip. Do not pretend that you are absolutely indifferent to the outcome of the negotiations - it is not so. Just be open and willing to talk.

2. Before, that your offer or point of view is exclusively correct, clearly believe in it yourself. It is so, and it cannot be otherwise.

3. Let the person know that you respect him and his point of view. Intersperse your beliefs with neutral remarks. Insist, but with a smile. And agree with him. Take it for granted: your interlocutor is (most likely) a smart person. His point of view is also worthy of respect! The question, by and large, is not how to convince a person, but how to make him want to accept your point of view.

4. Force your pace on the other person. However, this should not be done abruptly and rudely. You need to be on the same wavelength. But how! It is important that your pace is picked up by the interlocutor, and not vice versa. To do this, after the phrase he said, speak at exactly the same pace as he did (slowly or quickly), and at the end of the phrase, be sure to increase or slow down the pace. Thus, you not only create conditions for negotiations that are convenient for you, but also subconsciously make it clear to your opponent that he is playing by your rules.

5. Speak the same language. Before you convince a person to buy something from you or accept your conditions, stand in his place: would you take something that is so hard to sell? Hardly. However, talk about the benefits that are interesting to the interlocutor. And it doesn’t matter whether you are selling something or just convincing a friend of the correctness of your ideas, make it clear that you hear him, listen to him and, generally speaking, mean the same thing! So you "turn around" to the interlocutor and he willy-nilly has to give up the defensive position.

6. Don't be boring. Whatever the dispute is: an attempt to sign a business contract on favorable terms for you or to convince a friend that your favorite film is better than his - there is no point in throwing facts alone. If you have an erudite and gambling person in front of you, he may well bombard you with facts that indicate the opposite. So you can prove something for a very long time and prove nothing in the end. Agree with him, balance.

7. Provide your arguments in the form of questions. It's paradoxical, but it works. Let's say you and a friend are arguing about whether the role of a certain actor in a given film is the peak of his career. Are you sure that yes - it is. Ask the question: "Can you name the films released during the year where he played better?". And a friend will think a little... The protection is partially broken.

6. Overcoming resistance. If you successfully managed to overcome the previous stages, you will notice that the person "thawed out" and became more complacent and disposed towards you. In other words, some of the barriers of his resistance have been overcome. How to convince a person that you are right completely? Build questions in such a way that the interlocutor answers "yes". Ask emotional questions, provide a comfortable environment.

The veil over the riddle of how to convince people has now been lifted somewhat.

Everyone at least once in their life communicated with a very stubborn and difficult interlocutor.

Everyone knows that the easiest way to resolve a dispute is to avoid it. However, sometimes the situation requires that you defend your point of view and convince the most stubborn interlocutor that you are right. The following 10 tips will help you with this.

1. Be careful and polite

First of all, do not play with the thin threads of a person’s pride: you should not offend him, humiliate him and get personal, so you won’t prove anything to him and he will go into a defensive position of denying everything in the world (antagonism). And it is almost impossible to convince a person in such a state.

2. Strong Arguments First

State the strongest and most compelling arguments for your position first. No need to start with trifles, immediately release heavy artillery, and only then to reinforce it with small infantry.

3. Earn trust

Try to increase your status and image: argue that you know this in practice, that you have been doing this for many years and have received concrete results or earned a lot of money from it.

4. Be smart

A powerful weapon is to say the following: “Yes, yes, you are right about this, this is a good idea, but you are completely wrong about this ...” When a person feels that his thoughts have been noticed, he can already listen to yours.

5. Rough flattery

Praise the man! Compliments, and especially unexpected compliments, will surprise and please everyone, and this is exactly what you need - to relax your opponent, reduce his control over the situation.

6. Sequence of Consent

Rule of sequence: first tell the person what he agrees with (even if these are absolutely obvious things), and then your point of view. The likelihood of agreement in this case increases many times over.

7. Move the conversation away from dangerous topics

Avoid sharp corners and topics that can increase conflict, as well as those that are a weak point for you.

If something like this pops up, urgently turn the conversation off of this, say: “We are not talking about this now, but about ...”, “this has nothing to do with the case, only ... is relevant to the case”.

8. Notice every little thing

Watch the person's non-verbal behavior, it can reveal a lot. Non-verbal behavior is posture, gestures and facial expressions. If you notice that after some argument the person's eye twitched, then immediately continue to reveal this argument further and in great detail - this is your strongest argument and the person understands this and is nervous.

9. People love benefits and benefits

Convince the person that what you are saying to him is very useful and even beneficial for him, and his position, on the contrary, will not bring him anything other than “just his position”.

10. Show unexpected attentiveness and respect

Listen carefully to your interlocutor, even if he annoys you: anyone will notice that they are attentive to him, and especially someone who knows that despite the fact that you disagree with him, you are attentive to him. This way, you can stand out from other people with whom he has ever argued.

Good luck with your victory, because now we know for sure that using these tips, you will win in any dispute!