Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo
Promise does not mean marriage
© Melnik E.I., translation into Russian, 2014
© Design. Eksmo Publishing LLC, 2015
All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.
© Electronic version of the book prepared by Litres (www.litres.ru)
“Finally, honest words have been spoken about our suffering because of men!”
seventeen
"Evil genius".
New York Times
Ruthless Advice to Lovers.
Us Weekly
"The shocking, humorous revelations of a Y-chromosome carrier about the boy-meets-girl game."
USA Today
“No comforting ego strokes. No popular psychology. No riddles. He just doesn't like you that much."
Washington Post
“The self-help manuals are less creepy than this book.”
"This book could save an entire generation of women who spend their best years waiting for the phone to ring."
Boston Herald
"An unexpected and striking addition to the cultural stereotype of loneliness in the big city."
Los Angeles Times
"Clever, funny and surprisingly upbeat."
Publishers Weekly
This book is dedicated to all the wonderful women whose stories inspired us to write it.
We hope you won't need another book like this...
Note to the reader
The stories that you will find here are just illustrative examples, not related to specific events in the lives of specific people. Do not think that we wanted to publicly ridicule our friends, enemies or "ex".
(Although, to be honest, at times we had such an idea ...)
Greg and Liz
Introduction
The publishers of Promise Doesn't Mean Marry asked us if we would like to add another chapter or add something for future reprints. My first reaction was, “Are you laughing? The book is perfection! But then I thought. Is there anything else I want to say on this subject? In general, no. I think we discussed it from all sides. But one thing I really did not consider- what is it like for women to live in this world after they read "To promise is not to marry."
In addition, since the publication of Promise Is Not Marriage, I have been asked millions of questions. Anything from "Could you imagine the book would be so successful?" to “Who the hell are you, and what do you think you are?!” (The last question came from a genuinely disappointed Marine who may not have been as much in love with his lady as he should have been. Sorry mate!).
As for the first question, the answer is a categorical “no!”. It's not that I thought writing this book was a bad idea, but I had no idea it would be in such demand. I wanted to do this so that later I could brag to my friends: “Estimate, but I wrote that book about relationships, well, this one, in a green and pink cover that is sold in hipster stores!” This is, of course, a joke! But both Liz and my wife Ameera had to convince me that such a book was necessary.
I can’t say that one fine day I woke up and said to myself: “We need to awaken the consciousness of women so that they understand what is happening in their relationship! I'll do it and go to the gym." I had no idea how much time women spend thinking and talking about men. No, I don't judge them - I just did not know. It is amazing that no one has yet written such a book. That's why Ameera and Liz were so insistent that I do it: they knew there was nothing like it.
This book is dedicated to all the wonderful women whose stories inspired us to write it.
We hope you won't need another book like this...
Note to the reader
The stories that you will find here are just illustrative examples, not related to specific events in the lives of specific people. Do not think that we wanted to publicly ridicule our friends, enemies or "ex".
(Although, to be honest, at times we had such an idea ...)
Greg and Liz
Introduction
The publishers of Promise Doesn't Mean Marriage asked us if we would like to add another chapter or add something for future reprints. My first reaction was, “Are you laughing? The book is perfection! But then I thought. Is there anything else I want to say on this subject? In general, no. I think we discussed it from all sides. But one thing I didn’t really consider was what it’s like for women to live in this world after they read “To promise is not to marry.”
In addition, since the publication of "Promise - does not mean marriage" I have been asked millions of questions. Anything from "Could you imagine the book would be so successful?" to “Who the hell are you, and what do you think you are?!” (The last question came from a genuinely disappointed Marine who may not have been as much in love with his lady as he should have been. Sorry mate!).
As for the first question, the answer is a categorical "no!". It's not that I thought writing this book was a bad idea, but I had no idea it would be in such demand. I wanted to do this so that later I could brag to my friends: “Estimate, but I wrote that book about relationships, well, this one, in a green and pink cover that is sold in hipster stores!” This is, of course, a joke! But both Liz and my wife Ameera had to convince me that such a book was needed.
I can’t say that one fine day I woke up and said to myself: “We need to awaken the consciousness of women so that they understand what is happening in their relationship! I'll do it and go to the gym." I had no idea how much time women spend thinking and talking about men. No, I'm not judging them - I just didn't know it. It is amazing that no one has yet written such a book. That's why Ameera and Liz were so insistent that I do it: they knew there was nothing like it.
After being on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Liz and I suddenly became "relationship experts." This made me quite amused - if any of you had met me, you would never have believed that I could be an expert at anything. We were asked to comment on a variety of issues related to courtship - from celebrity romances to mating rituals in dogs (however, they are very similar).
Needless to say, I was stunned by such a stormy reaction to our book. My website went down three times because of the sheer volume of emails - many women felt their problems were not covered in the book. I hardly agree with them. Maybe we didn't name some guy, but he's definitely here! Sometimes I wrote back something like: “Hi, you just sent me a ten page letter about your relationship with some jerk.
Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo
Promise does not mean marriage
© Melnik E.I., translation into Russian, 2014
© Design. Eksmo Publishing LLC, 2015
All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.
“Finally, honest words have been spoken about our suffering because of men!”
seventeen"Evil genius".
New York TimesRuthless Advice to Lovers.
Us Weekly"The shocking, humorous revelations of a Y-chromosome carrier about the boy-meets-girl game."
USA Today“No comforting ego strokes. No popular psychology. No riddles. He just doesn't like you that much."
Washington Post“The self-help manuals are less creepy than this book.”
People"This book could save an entire generation of women who spend their best years waiting for the phone to ring."
Boston Herald"An unexpected and striking addition to the cultural stereotype of loneliness in the big city."
Los Angeles Times“There are no psychological bells and whistles here. This bestseller made women talk about themselves - and laugh at themselves from the bottom of their hearts ... a fresh look at the true relationship of men to women.
Seattle Times"Clever, funny and surprisingly upbeat."
Publishers WeeklyThis book is dedicated to all the wonderful women whose stories inspired us to write it.
We hope you won't need another book like this...
Note to the reader
The stories that you will find here are just illustrative examples, not related to specific events in the lives of specific people. Do not think that we wanted to publicly ridicule our friends, enemies or "ex".
(Although, to be honest, at times we had such an idea ...)
Greg and LizIntroduction
The publishers of Promise Doesn't Mean Marry asked us if we would like to add another chapter or add something for future reprints. My first reaction was, “Are you laughing? The book is perfection! But then I thought. Is there anything else I want to say on this subject? In general, no. I think we discussed it from all sides. But one thing I really did not consider- what is it like for women to live in this world after they read "To promise is not to marry."
In addition, since the publication of Promise Is Not Marriage, I have been asked millions of questions. Anything from "Could you imagine the book would be so successful?" to “Who the hell are you, and what do you think you are?!” (The last question came from a genuinely disappointed Marine who may not have been as much in love with his lady as he should have been. Sorry mate!).
As for the first question, the answer is a categorical “no!”. It's not that I thought writing this book was a bad idea, but I had no idea it would be in such demand. I wanted to do this so that later I could brag to my friends: “Estimate, but I wrote that book about relationships, well, this one, in a green and pink cover that is sold in hipster stores!” This is, of course, a joke! But both Liz and my wife Ameera had to convince me that such a book was necessary.
I can’t say that one fine day I woke up and said to myself: “We need to awaken the consciousness of women so that they understand what is happening in their relationship! I'll do it and go to the gym." I had no idea how much time women spend thinking and talking about men. No, I don't judge them - I just did not know. It is amazing that no one has yet written such a book. That's why Ameera and Liz were so insistent that I do it: they knew there was nothing like it.
After being on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Liz and I suddenly became "relationship experts." This made me quite amused - if any of you had met me, you would never have believed that I could be an expert at anything. We began to be asked to comment on a variety of issues related to courtship, from celebrity romances to mating rituals in dogs (however, they are very similar).
Needless to say, I was stunned by such a stormy reaction to our book. My website went down three times because of the sheer volume of emails—many women felt their problems weren't covered in the book. I hardly agree with them. Maybe we didn't name some guy, but he's definitely here! Sometimes I wrote back something like: “Hi, you just sent me a ten page letter about your relationship with some jerk. BUT you yourself what do you think about it? But then I still expressed my opinion. I also received quite a few letters from men, not only in the spirit of: "If I ever meet you in a dark alley, you will not pick up the bones," but also: "I like one girl, but she never calls me back."
There were questions that came up again and again, some from people who liked the book, others from people who weren't fans of Liz and Greg. To be honest, I love questions like this! We are delighted with them. One person asked me if it bothered me that now people come up to me anywhere and talk about their relationship. My answer: "Never!" It didn’t annoy me even that time when I stood shirtless in the fitting room and explained to the pretty saleswoman that if her boyfriend doesn’t want to marry her because she doesn’t speak German, then ... you yourself know how it goes on .
I hope this book will answer many of your questions and help you improve your current and future relationships. That's why we wrote it - because we care about you!
GregForeword by Liz
That day started just like any other. We sat in the Sex and the City writers' office and tossed ideas around. As always, the details of our own love stories were woven into the fictional destinies we created. As often happened, one of our employees asked me to explain to her the behavior of a man she liked. He acted inconsistently - and she did not know what to think. With excitement, we began to disassemble all the signs and signals that could be hidden in his actions. And, as on other days, after much analysis and heated debate, we came to the conclusion that she - real treasure and he is probably stunned and frightened because he has never met such a beautiful woman before. She just needs to wait a bit...
But that day, there was a male consultant in our room—the one who comes in a couple of times a week to assess the development of storylines from a purely male point of view. Greg Behrendt listened carefully to the story and our comments, and then said to the heroine of the day: “Listen, it doesn’t look like he likes you that much.”
We were shocked, shocked, amazed, frightened, and most importantly, intrigued. Apparently, this man was telling the truth. The very truth that we - in all the years of our total experience of dating and dating - never thought about, and certainly did not occur to us to express it aloud. “Maybe he’s right,” each of us reluctantly agreed in our hearts. But how can Greg understand my friend – so busy, so complex and contradictory!”
And then it began! Greg, like an omniscient Buddha, took turns listening to our twisted stories. We found excuses for all men - from a broken index finger (he, poor thing, cannot dial a number!) To a difficult childhood. But all these excuses, one after another, were shot at point-blank range by Greg's devastating silver bullets. He went to great lengths to make us understand that if a normal, healthy man truly loves a woman, then nothing can stop him. And if he's crazy, then why did he surrender to you? Greg knew what he was talking about: he played these games for many years, was both a "bad guy" and a "good guy". In the end, he fell in love and married an absolutely fantastic woman.
Misunderstandings often arise between men and women. Everyone wants to be loved and understood, but it’s not so easy to find “the same” person, it’s not so easy to hear another, consider what is in his soul and accept it. Unfortunately, cases of unhappy love and destructive relationships are quite common. Women do not understand why they meet men on their way who cannot give them the love and stability they desire. The authors of this book are the screenwriters of the famous TV series Sex and the City. During the filming of one of the series, Greg Berendt came to the conclusion that even if a woman is very smart, she often absolutely cannot understand a man. Then the idea came to write the book "To promise is not to marry," co-authored by Liz Tuccillo.
The book tells about those cases when a woman cannot understand what a man really thinks and feels. Is he afraid of being deceived? Afraid that he will be hurt again and therefore does not enter into a new relationship? Why does he not call and often does not even answer messages? Is he busy or does he not care? The answers to all these questions are in the book. She will help women see everything as it is, without succumbing to illusions. Then the realization will come, which relationships are initially doomed to failure. The advice of the authors will help you learn to identify those men who are really interested and ready to take steps in the development of relationships.
On our website you can download the book "To promise is not to marry" by Liz Tuccillo for free and without registration in fb2, rtf, epub, pdf, txt format, read the book online or buy the book in the online store.
Promise does not mean marriage Berendt Greg
Life after the book "To promise is not to marry"
Word Liz
Writing this book together has made me relive every mistake I've made in my personal life and remember all the wonderful men who have ever rejected me. And it really was fun. I saw what I did literally all the mistakes described in our book. And I also realized that I suggested that Greg write this book because I needed it most of all myself. (I think it dawned on me when I saw the look of frank horror and pity on Greg's face, listening to about the twentieth scary story about my acquaintances. Ah, golden days!) In the process of writing the book, I experienced all the stages that many women who read it went through - insight, a surge of strength, a determination never to repeat these mistakes again. She is really changed my style of communicating with men, my thoughts about them and my approach to relationships. This book has changed my life in many ways. So I'm not just a co-author of this book, I'm its number one fan.
When Greg and I were asked if there was anything else we wanted to add to this book, I realized that there was one weight that I needed to take off my mind. As someone who has taken this book very close to heart and yet hasn't left the world of dating, I'd like to talk about life after Promise Is Not Marry.
I experienced some process, which had its own stages, and they are very different from each other. I know that other women go through them. Perhaps they did it in a different order, or some stages fell out, but I heard enough similar stories that I wanted to discuss them in the book.
So let's get started: life stages after Promise Doesn't Mean Marry (compiled by Liz).
EXALTATION (Also known as "he's gone from my phone - he's gone from my life!")
The first thing that often happens to you after reading our book is the realization that we are geniuses who have changed your life. Sometimes it doesn't happen so fast (or don't you agree that we are geniuses). There will probably be some resistance at first. Perhaps you are still holding on to a relationship or hobby that you are not yet ready to give up. Someone can become discouraged, looking back and realizing how much time wasted. (Believe me, I know all this!) But many are finally beginning to hear Greg's insistent, aggressive, sometimes slightly annoying voice. You can no longer ignore this voice. You're getting out of a dead end relationship. You realize that your current romance is going nowhere. You stop texting this guy. And - attention! “You get better pretty soon. It’s as if you’ve been beaten in the face for three hours in a row and suddenly stopped—that is, ecstatically better. You feel that you yourself have become lighter - so light that you just soar. The dark cloud that hung over you has dissipated, and now you can achieve anything, because you really are a super tidbit. You refuse to waste yourself. You are strong, sexy and beautiful and will no longer turn your life into a continuous compromise. The world has changed. This is no longer that sad, dark place where your boyfriend made you feel like nothing. This world is filled with love, hope and opportunity as all your thoughts, time and energy are now free. You are energized and ready to take off. Maybe you're even waiting for that very beginner's luck.
When the book was just finished and I was completely taken over by the “He doesn’t like you that much” philosophy, I went to a party. One of the guests started flirting with me. Everyone was giggling about how well and quickly we hit it off. In the end, he gave me his website address and asked me to look at the photos he takes, saying, "write me what you think." He left, and all the other guests rushed to me to find out what happened between us. I told. The only person who was not thrilled by the fact that a man gave me the address of his website was myself. The same woman with Greg's caustic, sarcastic voice in her head saying: "Website address? Did he give you the address of his unfortunate website? Wow, how cool!”
And yes, he called me the next day. This guy somehow miraculously guessed that he could get my number from our mutual friend, call me and ask me out on a date! True, it didn't work out with this particular gentleman in the end, but at the time I had the feeling that the great gods of the Dating World were sending me a sign that I was on the right track.
So, stage one: you saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Do you feel better. You realize that we are the smartest people that have ever roamed this planet. You are already considering whether to nominate us for the Nobel Prize. (We thank you for this intention, but we think that for now you may be overestimating our contribution to the course of world events.) Greg and I are very happy that we helped you feel better and make positive changes in your life.
LONELY (Otherwise known as "Great, what the hell am I supposed to do now?")
So, you have changed something in your life. You broke up with a guy who couldn't get over his ex, or stopped responding to a slacker you had a date with three weeks ago, but he texts you every time that you "definitely need to hang out again sometime." More importantly, you brushed aside all the excuses you once made up for men. These excuses seemed so right before, but now they make you shake your head and think: “I can’t believe I tried to convince myself of this!”
Now is your place and time to reflect on the wonderful relationships that lie ahead of you. This man will surely appear now that you have become so brave and strong. You start thinking about true love, what it looks like, what it feels like. You remember how much you want it, and in fact before you even forgot that it is possible.
And then it covers you. If you've erased all those addresses from your cell phone, if you've raised your bar to the point where you've eliminated all game-playing, non-committal, selfish, eccentric, emotionally unavailable, insecure men from your list of potential boyfriends Who the hell are you dating?!
When we filmed The Oprah Winfrey Show, there was a woman on the program who really took our advice to heart. As a result, she broke up with her worthless boyfriend. A little later, we came back to the program, and I asked the female producer how this woman was doing. She shrugged her shoulders and replied, “Honestly, she is terribly lonely". I immediately understood what she meant. In my case, the feeling of triumph that I finally realized what I was worth and that I was never going to put up with again slowly but surely degenerated into a feeling of extreme, crushing loneliness. How beautiful I look, coming to the next wedding all alone! What a fantasy - not to be content with less and carry all the purchases home yourself. Oh, how lucky I am, I will spend Valentine's Day with my mom (although she was pleased with it).
I don't know about you, but I wanted to finally get my reward. There was a huge, seismic shift in my outlook on love and dating, and I figured that heaven should reward me by sending me a great guy right away. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. More precisely, sometimes indeed, it happens, and it is about this that stories are composed that give us hope. More often than not, though, the reward for feeling better about yourself and not letting people treat you badly anymore is precisely that—feeling better and not letting yourself be put down.
There is something else - something that fills the vacuum left by our book. It may seem like a consolation prize, but in the end it's what matters. It replaces mediocre relationships, hesitant men, and pointless emails and text messages. Not only crushing loneliness, but also confidence. That magical feeling that rolls in a wave and replaces all the rubbish of the former relationship swept away. Nobody makes you feel inferior. From now on, being alone, you do not feel unloved. There is only you. You and your ideas about life. Pretty soon, confidence comes. And the more it becomes, the more positive reinforcement you receive from the outside world. This positivity continues to grow. No, this is not yet a wonderful man who picks you up and carries you in his arms; but it is a kind of attitude that will lead you to it more than anything else. This is a calm, unfussy confidence. And do not underestimate her strength and gift.
TEMPTATIONS (otherwise known as "The Devil Has Many Disguises")
Temptation #1: That which has gone nowhere
At the height of this book's popularity, a man asked me out on a date. He took me to dinner. He flirted with me and promised to call, and kept his promise. I called him back. He didn't call me back. Then we saw each other at a party, and he sat next to me and surrounded me with attention. Again he said he would call me. He called to call, but he never invited me on a date. I was shocked. What is this, a joke? How can you do these tricks? with me? Does he not know that I am a co-author of a book on this very subject? But I was not only amazed - I was amused. After all, I already knew how to identify alarm signals, to protect myself from men who really didn’t like me that much, no matter how cunning disguises they used. I mentally laughed: “Oh, how I would have fallen for these little tricks in the past! But now! Now they are powerless against my superpowers acquired through our book. I smiled, remembering what I would have thought about his behavior earlier: “He must have been too busy to call, and when he saw me at the party, he fell for me again.” Or: “Maybe he can’t make a date yet because he’s not sure about his work schedule, but if he calls, then he definitely likes me!” Ah, how strong I am now; how protected I am from these miserable attempts!
But perhaps you will meet a man on your way who will have two serious types of weapons. First (and this is the main thing), you will like it very, very, very much. And secondly, he will have a very, very, very good excuse. Almost the same thing happens when scientists create a powerful vaccine against a disease - then the disease manages to mutate into something even stronger and more tenacious. So it is with this man - he will have a fail-safe excuse. She will probably be related to a child, a recent divorce, or a grand project at work. And you will allow yourself to buy into it - which sometimes should be done. Life is varied, there are almost no black and white situations in it, and usually you need to take into account the nuances in order to make the right decision. However, you are dragging everything out (much longer than it should, and you yourself understand it). Because you really, really, really like him. And he seems to have a really good excuse... And it takes you weeks or even months to admit the sad, disappointing truth. Really again? He found a way to pierce your armor, strip you of your super protection, inject a virus into your hard drive—pick any metaphor you like—and you were temporarily helpless.
You can't believe this happened. But you realize that he just doesn't like you that much. Oh, for heaven's sake! You thought it would never happen again. And here you are, please! It's terribly frustrating.
Now you're not just inconsolable because of some romantic disappointment. You're desperately mad at yourself for letting this happen again. But you've already been taught by bitter experience! How could this happen?
Well, I'll tell you how it all happened. Love is a drug. Not the most original concept, but true. Sometimes, no matter what the "plot" you are in, the witch's potion enchants you again. Especially if it's been a long time since you last used it, then it's even easier for him to hit you. After all, we all desperately desire love, sometimes even more than we are willing to admit. And when we get a chance to get it, when we remember how great it is - even if only for a moment, even if it is only a slight aroma of it - we are ready to forget any principles and criteria inspired by cold reason.
You should not engage in self-flagellation. We know you won't let this go on for as long as it used to. If you've already read Promise Doesn't Mean Marry, no matter how many times you slip and step back, you won't get lost. This book cannot be discounted. Thank God for this.
Temptation #2: I can do it
And then comes complete and utter despair. You are alone and you feel like no one else will ever love you. So you keep calling the guy who makes even the slightest attempt to connect with you. You offer to go somewhere, you have sex with him - just once, and then again. You continue to sleep with him - and it always happens on your initiative. You send him SMS with erotic content. You spend time together, although deep down you know that he doesn’t like you that much, that all these non-relationships are kept only on your energy.
However, everything is not so scary, because now, thanks to this book, you know he doesn't like you that much, but that's another matter. After all, you do not deceive yourself and do not harbor false hopes.
And just as you are now able to identify a dubious excuse, you can recognize resentment and disappointment in the depths of your soul. These feelings are all the more unpleasant because you have lived without them for so long. And you realize—much faster than before—that you can't let anyone hurt you. It is unlikely that we will ever be able to drown out Greg's annoying voice in our heads, and this is not a bad thing at all.
I can say with absolute certainty that there will be temptations along the way and you may backtrack a bit. Since we wrote Promise Doesn't Mean Marriage, I've gone back to my old self several times. I was back to being that naive girl who stunned my friends with a crazy story like “well, he called me on Tuesday, but he didn’t ask me out, so I didn’t know if I should call him, so I waited until Wednesday, and then sent him a letter - but he did not answer this letter until Friday, and I do not understand, maybe he was angry that I did not call him back, or ... "
I felt ridiculous and pathetic.
Once you start treating yourself with more respect and feeling like a strong, confident woman, your tolerance for emotional pain decreases. And this is very good.
BALANCE (Otherwise known as "Setting up for the long term.")
A few years ago, I became addicted to a low-carb diet. Who among us hasn't done this? As you know, all the troubles from pasta and spaghetti. And bread! .. I refused it in restaurants, waved my hands and asked the waiter for God's sake to remove this devilish food. And I lost weight. I felt better. And then a couple of months passed, or a year, and I began to think: what the hell is so bad about eating a piece of bread sometimes? Hasn't bread always been considered the basis of life? And you know what else I think? Eating a delicious spaghetti carbonara is definitely not going to kill me. Thank God, people in Italy have been doing this for years. Yes, some Italian women are indeed a bit overweight, but so what? But they all look real. happy.
My point is that sometimes you get tired to death from dieting or from a certain way of thinking. I recently met a friend whom I had not seen for a long time. She sat down at the table and immediately said: “Oh my God, I’m so angry at your “Promise does not mean marry” now!” I laughed and exclaimed, “Honestly, me too!” She continued: "Why is it me I can not drive up to his house and leave a box of chocolate-covered marshmallows for the concierge, if that's what I want? He told me that he loves marshmallows in chocolate, and I also love marshmallows in chocolate, and it so happened that I saw him in the supermarket. So what happens if I do something nice for him just once?” And I yelled back: “I know for sure - the guy I'm dating is really going through a difficult breakup with an ex-girlfriend! Why should I doubt it?" She said that now, at this very moment, she truly hated Greg. I said I couldn't stand it either. Because we are tired. We are tired of being conscious, constantly being on top. We're tired of having to be so damn vigilant with our love life and our new criteria. We were tired of Greg's voice ringing in our ears every time men flirted with us. We were sick and tired of the diet we were on and wanted to break it. And we did it. She left her boyfriend a box of marshmallows and asked him on a second date. And I kept clinging - in vain - to the idea that my boyfriend would stop talking about his ex-girlfriend and realize that he was ready to love me.
I don't know what happened to that marshmallow lover, but I ended up leaving my then-boyfriend. However, I did not regret allowing myself to be drawn into this relationship. Sometimes you have to give things a chance. And you know what? If you're so itching to leave a box of marshmallows for some guy, then no one has the right to dissuade you. Ask him out on a date if that's what you want. We cannot stop you. After all, this is your life and these are your judgments. You may have a long way to go before you meet your one and only. (We hope that this will not be the case, but still, just in case ...) You may encounter many confusing and incomprehensible situations along the way. You will balance differently between self-esteem and loneliness. But in the end, you will have to make all your judgments on your own. Sometimes you will be able to make decisions that will give you strength and honor you, and sometimes you will cheat and, perhaps, go against your own intuition - counting that this is the one and only exception to the general rule.
If you're just like me, and if you've taken the positive, empowering ideas in this book to heart, and if you haven't already been rewarded by having your greatest love ring your doorbell and change the course of your life once and for all, then you might want to give yourself some relief. Life, love, dating - all this is a process. It will have its ups and downs, disappointments and temptations, and all this can take a long time. If you're so lonely that you can't help but jump into a questionable situation, then at least get out of it before this man makes you cry.
When you begin to feel the familiar tingling of sadness and obsession, please change your mind. After all, there is nothing worse than wanting a person who does not need you. Even being alone is better, because alone you at least have hope and imagination.
You may want to forget about this book for a while. We will let you do it - because life is not fair, because the world is not perfect, and we are all trying to survive as best we can. But please come back to us later. After all, you can no longer recklessly admire some type, although it is fun to be with him, he holds your hand in public and smiles at you like no one has smiled at you for many years. And he gets along great with…your dog – but somehow he always makes you feel miserable and insecure. Please, the minute you realize that this situation is causing you discomfort and resentment and getting worse, end it, and as soon as possible.
Sometimes it's great to take a breather from complete and utter loneliness, but you yourself will be able to understand when the emotional price paid for it becomes too high. However, we - this book - will always be there to remind you of your worth. You are too precious for anyone to make you doubt that you are a wonderful woman worthy of great love.
From the book Laws of Eminent People the author Kalugin RomanYour life means a lot Have you thought about how you influence the world? A perfect example of the principle “your life means a lot,” I find the description of the circles diverging on the water from The Tao: “Do you want to become a positive influence on the world? Tidy up your own first
From the book 13 ways to overcome the crisis of love relationships author Zberovsky Andrey ViktorovichSection Three LIFE AFTER RELATIONSHIP PEAK This section defines and characterizes such an important concept for love relationships as "Relationship Peak", offers tests for diagnosing the pre-crisis and crisis state of your relationship. Attention
From the book Memories, Dreams, Reflections author Jung Carl GustavLife after death All that I can tell about the other world, about life after death, all these are memories. These are the thoughts and images that I lived with that haunted me. In a certain sense, they are the basis of my work, because my work is nothing but relentless
From the book The thread of Ariadne, or Journey through the labyrinths of the psyche author Zueva ElenaRenunciation. Life after... The girl who appeared in my office somehow immediately and suddenly brought down a stream of her tears on me. She sobbed non-stop. I felt like I was out in the rain and without an umbrella. Her face, quite pretty, framed by blond curls, is completely
From the book Love with and without rules, or How to organize your personal life the author Rom NataliaOr To marry or not to marry - that is the question! As your relationship grows stronger, one of you offers to move in and live together. You both have a desire to have a family, children, you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. And now you've been living for a while
From the book Overcoming the Crisis and the Taste of Life the author Antip ViktorHistory 7. Life after life in inhuman conditions Man is so arranged that he can adapt to the most diverse conditions. If you trace the history of everyone's life, it is not difficult to see how, with a change in life circumstances, something in habits has changed,
From the book All Secrets of the Stronger Sex author Belov Nikolay VladimirovichTo promise to marry is not marriage yet A girl Samantha writes me a letter. She has been dating a man for four years. He is married, and he says to her: “I don’t love my wife, I only love you, dear. But our child is growing. You can’t leave.” Then he still says: “Yes, of course, we will get married. All I
From the book Pseudoscience and the Paranormal [Critical View] author Smith Jonathan From the book Fathers + children [Collection of articles] author Team of authors“It means that you read the necessary books as a child” Tatyana Kurbatova, head of the children’s department of the New Acropolis philosophical school some
From the book Iron Arguments [Victory, even if you are wrong] by Piri MadsenPost hoc ergo propter hoc (after that - means because of this) This sophism consists in the assumption that if one event occurred after another, then the second was caused by the first. After the appearance of canned green peas on the market, extramarital birth rates
From the book In Anticipation of Yourself. From image to style author Khakamada Irina Mitsuovna From the book Mom and Baby. From birth to three years author Pankova Olga YurievnaThere is life after childbirth! After giving birth, mommy is faced with changes in her body, for which she often has to turn to specialists. Among women who have given birth, there is an opinion: “Children are not easy!” How to make postpartum recovery easier
From the book Promise does not mean marriage author Berendt GregIf he doesn't want to marry you, it means he doesn't like you that much. Love heals "fear of commitment." Just remember. Every man you've ever dated who says he doesn't want to get married, doesn't believe in marriage, or has "problems" with it,
From the book Dangerous Desires. What drives a person? author Freud Sigmund From the book New Reflections on Personal Development author Adizes Itzhak CalderonIs there life after death? In the end, opposites inevitably converge. The earth is round, you know. If you go east all the time, then one day you will end up at the point in the west where you started. Following the same logic, love and hate are inseparable. In his
From the book Secrets of the Brain. Why do we believe in everything author Shermer Michael7 Faith in Life After Death In June 2002, legendary baseball player Ted Williams died, and the sensational story itself was picked up when his son took the deceased to Scottsdale, Arizona, where he was cryogenically frozen at minus 320 degrees Celsius.
