If you think that you can infiltrate the team by starting to express favor to everyone, or by becoming friends with the employee who is most disposed to you, then life will put you on the bench more than once. It's time to stop believing in mirages instilled by a naive belief in positive thinking, this article will show you the shortsightedness of such behavior.
I don't mind if it was that simple.. but life is full of sarcasm. Those who try their best to please others look pathetic, especially in the eyes of callous and selfish people. At best, your communication will be neglected, and at worst, they will be humiliated or used.
Let's try to figure out the possible reasons why the team does not accept you:
1. You are not interesting to others. They practically do not notice you, they push routine work onto you. It's all about your shyness. If you are different from the team, you are not interested in their conversations, and you try not to show it, then it is completely in vain. Of course, you should not go into moralizing and teach everyone how to live. Your task is to start doing what you think is right, hold on confidently, and when you receive surprised looks from your colleagues, just continue to be yourself. Learn to stand your ground if they again try to throw off work that you are not obliged to do, adhere to the general rules adopted in the team, and do not let yourself be neglected. Such behavior does not have to be rude, everything needs to be done with favor and understanding of the situation. A polite no is better than a patient yes.

2. You are too eccentric, you attract a lot of negative attention. Most likely, the reason for this is that you are too infantile. The team does not accept you because everyone (not only you) has their own responsibilities, the work process is concentrated, and if you start to exclaim and resent something out loud, counting on the reaction of others, then most of them you will be very annoying. Everything is simple here - stop behaving overly emotionally. Your problems and experiences are no more serious and important than those of others, accept the fact that not everyone is interested in knowing about them.

3. You know best what to do. If you often think like this, then I will disappoint you, you are very mistaken, it is impossible to be always right. And if at the same time you feel that the team does not accept you, then this is quite natural. People don't like being lectured on, it's enough to express your position once and stick to it. And even if those around you are greatly mistaken in something, you should not argue with them to the last breath and, even more so, shame them. It is possible at this stage for them to make a mistake - this is the only way to understand something, although it is also possible that you are the one who is mistaken ...

A slightly different case is if you are not accepted in a new team. This is a normal situation for many, and it all depends on the old employees. Why are they not ready to accept you into the team?

The hardest thing for a recruit is to fit into an environment of people who are completely different from you. And in such a situation, the main thing is to understand what exactly distinguishes them. If we are talking about the discrepancy between your professional skills, insufficient responsibility for work, or inability to work in a team, for example, then, of course, your task should be to catch up to the required level as soon as possible. The absence of these objective reasons will help you to be accepted into the team, if there is a healthy corporate atmosphere in it. However, a healthy atmosphere in the team is too utopian a story...
It is quite another matter if something personal distinguishes you from the team. In this case, at first it is better to stay apart. After all, a non-receiving team may also consist of unpleasant people, they may not accept you even because you do not drink tea with them every hour, do not run to the smoking room, do not support conversations about cars and football, do not sit on a social network, do not take kickbacks. In this case, be sure to remain yourself, do not bend, even if the local ringleader, standing at the cooler and folding his arms over his chest, is trying to increase his self-esteem by ridiculing your eccentricity. If it comes to this, then remember that trolls are everywhere, and they need to catch on at least something, and your task is not to get into a skirmish, be laconic, answer calmly and to the point. If you wish, you can subtly pry it, putting it in place, it will not be difficult, because such people are usually notorious and not realized. The topic of the insolvency of such office jokers sooner or later pops up on its own. But here the decision is already yours, the main thing is not to get carried away, you still came to work, and not to mark the territory, no one will definitely pay you for this.

The only chance to make a first impression should always be used wisely. Especially when it comes to work. After all, the place where you will spend most of your day (and what is there - life) should be not only useful for you, but also pleasant. So, what rules should be followed in order to join the team as quickly as possible, and what to do if he did not accept?

According to the results of a study by the Superjob portal, it turned out that large quantity personnel officers advises newcomers to “listen and be silent”, that is, wind what they say by mouth, observe what is happening, so that later, based on a large amount of information, they correctly present their position to colleagues in the team. However, this takes time, and the first impression must be created from the first day of its appearance. What should be done besides quality work and friendly behavior?

How to join the team without loss?

1. Avoid coalitions

In almost any community, there are groups that hold their own views, usually sit at different tables at dinner and communicate more with each other than with anyone else. As a rule, already from the first days of the appearance of a newcomer, these groups begin to "probe" him for the similarity of interests or even push him to join them.

You will still fall into some group, so it’s better to communicate with everyone the same way at first, and then the choice will be made by itself - just give yourself time. Take a neutral position in controversial issues.

Even if someone suddenly showed a genuine interest in you and helps in everything, do not rush to think that this is a gift from heaven. Be careful, but, of course, kindly and with gratitude. Now is the time to get comfortable and find out what kind of people surround you, and the decision on who to communicate with is better to make later.

If you immediately suddenly begin to communicate with some group of people more, then you may be considered an overly influenced person, and it’s not a fact that you will really enjoy being in this group.

2. Ask questions, be interested, ask for advice

Humility is the first quality that most beginners show clearly. And often it is modesty that plays a bad role in your entry into the team.

New to the team

Each job loves initiative people, but “humble” people do not, and such people are often used in the team. In addition, the team may consider you too arrogant or arrogant, since you cannot ask for help in such a seemingly trifling matter - settling in a new place.

So get over yourself and if you have a question, ask it! You can start simple - ask where, how and when it is customary to dine. Well, there are more questions to come. The main thing is not to ask personal questions (is the boss alone or that handsome guy from the first floor), and nevertheless, first try to solve some difficulty on your own, and then ask for help.

Consult with colleagues, smiling, thank them for their help. This way you will make friends faster.

3. Adjust to the existing order

Everyone knows that they don’t go to a foreign monastery with their own charter. So try to do things the way your new company does. Even if this is unusual for you, having already joined the team, it will already be easier for you to tell everyone what you are used to doing differently. Then it will not cause a negative reaction.

For example, have lunch in the dining room with everyone, even if you are used to carrying lunches with you. Or offer a donation or even help organize a colleague's birthday. If there is a queue of those who run to the store for coffee and chocolates, do not refuse to participate.

Of course, all this should be done not to the detriment of work or yourself. If everyone smokes, then you don’t have to stand with everyone in the smoking room, but you can quite support a few “habits” of the team.

Also, you can not criticize the existing order, give advice and constantly complain. The phrases “Turn the music down”, “turn off the air conditioning”, “don’t slam the doors” are guaranteed to make you an outcast. However, this does not mean that you need to endure: maybe you are being tested to see if you are able to voice your opinion? If you feel cold from the constantly open window, put on a sweater, if no one offered to close it, offer it yourself. But don't download rights as soon as possible.

4. Tell us about yourself

It is better to do it yourself voluntarily than to fend off gossip and speculation later. There are questions that are almost always interesting: are you married or dating someone, do you have children, where did you come from, where and how do you live.

New to the team

When you manage to get into the conversation of colleagues (say, at dinner), feel free to wedge in these pieces of information to yourself, as if in between times, without forcing everyone to talk about yourself, your beloved. Believe me, even something interesting said as if between words will be remembered and will be transmitted, because the team is always very attentive to the personal information of a beginner. Such is nature. So take the chance to introduce yourself, otherwise someone else might do it tomorrow.

5. Follow your job descriptions clearly

And first, get to know them, because not all companies provide the employee with job descriptions, limiting themselves to a general description of the position. Find out also who your immediate supervisor is and to whom you "owe". This will save you from others who want to give orders to beginners.

It's no secret that in many teams they like to dump routine work on newcomers. Refuse, citing the fact that you would be happy to help (it helped), but you better focus on your duties at the moment, you need to get used to it. Or agree, but immediately explain that you only agree to help, because you have time for this, but you can refuse for the future, since this is not your responsibility.

Do all this as calmly and friendly as possible and do not go too far in one direction or the other. You can transfer folders from one table to another without fear that the annual report will be dumped on you right there. And making a report for someone, you run the risk of carrying folders for someone later. In other words, don't let yourself be abused.

More about the rules of behavior for a newcomer in a team, as well as how to say “no” and not turn into an “errand girl”, see the video clip.

What to do if the team does not accept?

Do not panic and do not perform chaotic actions in order to please colleagues. All you need to do is to understand the cause and, based on it, look for a "cure". Here are the possible reasons and options for your behavior:

You took "someone's" place: because of you, an old employee was fired or one of your current colleagues applied for the place
If you can’t stand the attitude of the team anymore, they openly laugh at you and mock you, try to bring together at least part of the team and honestly admit that you can’t work like that, that it’s hard for you, that you are a good person and would like to become part of the team. Apologize for the fact that you yourself, unwittingly, have become someone else's problem.

My whole life is one continuous suffering. From early childhood, I was treated harshly by my parents and aunt, especially when I went on vacation with her, I was beaten for the slightest offense or for asking or saying something out of place. My father and mother constantly quarreled and poured mud on each other in front of me, it made me very sick. I have always been quite secretive and thoughtful, even in kindergarten. It feels like I can't live in a team at all! Everyone calls me stupid, I guess I am.. although I am interested in science, I read a lot, I had some success when I was in school. Although even there I could not join the team for a long time. Now I am serving in the army and here it is very difficult for me, I went along of my own free will. I treat everyone with respect, address by name, help when I can. But the team does not accept me, they consider me stupid, when I ask something, I probably just never knew how to live in a team. Please help as much as you can
Support the site:

Artemy, age: 18 / 20.01.2017

Responses:

Dear boy, you are wonderful, kind, polite, smart and I am sure that there will definitely be people who will appreciate it. It's hard for you right now, but it won't always be like this. Think bright, positive, make plans for the time when you serve. Good luck!

Irina, age: 01/29/2017

Temochka, sweetie, not always a team can appreciate a person, it often happens like you have, especially in the army, you know, hazing and all that.

You are a brave courageous person, because you yourself went into the army. Many of my friends did not dare to do this and ran from the draft. I don't blame them. But I'm proud of you. It says a lot about you. You are a real man.

Sometimes people perceive polite treatment for fawning and weakness. Try to ask them less often about something, so as not to give reasons to think that they know more than you. Look at bosses and politicians - they never answer immediately and head-on, they know how to pretend that they know the answer to any question, to be thoughtfully silent and promise to resolve any of them. Tomorrow)) Do not walk quickly and hurriedly, do not fuss, do not speak in a tongue twister - look at how the broadcasters, deputies, etc. behave.

If it is absolutely unbearable, you can try to transfer to another part.

I wish you all the best, son. With love and respect.

Photinia, age: 43 / 01/21/2017

So, ask less) ... Okay, seriously, let's go in order ... If "grandfathers" consider you a dumbass, then this is almost normal. Wait (hold on) until they leave. At least in the current army there is no lawlessness (and about the old myths to hell). Your call will not terrorize you so much, or, at all, will switch to the young.
And then ... Then you will have a free, adult life without your former classmates, colleagues. You will start everything from scratch. And there will be a team for you ...

Nev, age: 01/21/2017

Artemy, remember, they are stupid! .. Unfortunately, we live in a time when it’s cool to mock people like them! . This must be endured! It's hard, it hurts, but you have to. Humiliating others, they, as it were, assert themselves, they think it's cool to mock, to laugh at those who cannot answer because of their upbringing and character traits. And don't worry that you can't live in such a "collective", it's not a team at all! It’s hard for them themselves, so they vent their evil, accumulated from the hardships of army life, on people like you! Each person is sent by Fate for something. Maybe they were sent to you so that you develop patience for the next life, because there is a lot of things to come. If they pester, try to laugh it off and not climb on the rampage. You are much better than them! Remember, this is temporary! Prayer to the Mother of God is very supportive, do not hesitate to ask your parents or relatives to pray for you in front of Her icon "Taming Evil Hearts".

Irina Vladimirovna, age: 53 / 01/21/2017

Hello Artemy! Do not be upset! You are a wonderful person, and if the team does not accept you, maybe something is wrong with him. I think over time there will be people who will understand you. If you behave in the same way, it is likely that the team will accept you. Most importantly, do not lose heart, everything will work out. Do not hold grudges against relatives, try to forgive them. Try to understand their behavior. Serve well, let your relatives rejoice for you later and maybe understand their mistakes. I wish you good relations with colleagues, mutual understanding in the family and all the best! Be happy, don't think bad!

Anastasia, age: 01/18/2017

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A new person in the team is always closely watched and immediately assessed by the level of competence, ability and desire to work, psychological compatibility with other team members. If a new employee does not fit into the psychological climate of a well-established group, management has three ways to solve the problem: take measures to adapt the new employee, transfer to another unit, or fire him.

• The main reasons why a new employee does not fit into the team;
• What actions can be taken to improve the situation;
• Should an unsuitable employee be fired?

The situation when a new person does not fit into the formed team is quite common. Management cannot stand aside in this state of affairs. It is necessary to understand the causes in a timely manner and take measures to eliminate disagreements. If the organization has adopted certain rules of conduct and, then a new person in this environment may not immediately accept the canons of the company's corporate culture, which will immediately incur the dissatisfaction of colleagues.

In other situations, only a settled employee may not immediately adapt to work, get up to speed and get used to his job responsibilities. Whatever the reasons for rejecting a new employee, letting this process take its course, hoping that the problem will resolve itself, is by no means impossible. Such factors have a great impact on the work of the entire team, which ultimately leads to a decrease in productivity, effectiveness, failure to meet project deadlines and other negative consequences.

The main reasons why a new employee does not fit into the team

It is not difficult to determine the very fact that a new employee did not come to the yard. To do this, simply observe the work of the team and evaluate the overall results. The rejection of a new employee is extremely rare, literally in isolated cases, manifests itself in the form of an open protest and conflict. As a rule, the process of rejection is protracted. If long pauses began to arise in a well-functioning team, initially set up for free and open communication, colleagues stopped discussing work issues among themselves, they began to leave too often alone or in pairs, or a heavy silence hangs in the presence of a new employee - all these are signs that tension is growing.

There are not so many reasons why the problem of adapting a new team member arises. In most cases, they are due to such situations:

1. The newcomer shows a lot of initiative. Such cases are frequent. Many newcomers have a great desire to show their best side, to prove their competence and usefulness to the team. However, the team is not always ready for such a turn of events. There can be two options here: the team is used to working in a measured mode, not to strain, or simply calmly go with the flow, or quite active and competent employees with high self-esteem cannot accept an overly ambitious newcomer.
2. The new employee tries to push his duties onto others. In the form of motivation for such behavior, such arguments can be presented as ignorance of some working moments, or an explanation that the tasks presented to him are not included in his job responsibilities. Such an employee either does not have work experience, communication, or is simply a drone who wants to receive money without undue stress.
3. External and age factors. To when a young employee comes to a team of middle-aged people who differs too much from them in worldview, temperament, manner of behaving and dressing.

Whatever the cause, the situation can and should be addressed without resorting to extreme measures.

What actions can be taken to improve the situation

Many HR experts recommend checking a newcomer not only for professional qualities, but also to evaluate his ability to compromise, the ability to adapt to the corporate culture and the psychological climate of the company. At the stage of assessing a candidate, it is worth paying attention not only to his skills and qualifications, but also to analyze personal qualities. It would not be superfluous to compare them in terms of compliance with the company and the nature of the relationship that is accepted in the team.

It must be understood that the appearance of a new employee in any case will lead to some violation of the psychological climate and the stability of an already established group of people. The HR manager must conduct activities aimed at preparing employees for the arrival of a newcomer. In most cases, it is enough to have a general conversation and make it clear that the selection of personnel takes into account the factor of maintaining a healthy working atmosphere in the team.

In order for a person to quickly and successfully adapt to a new place, to join the team’s activities without conflicts and stress, a personnel management specialist can develop an individual adaptation program for a beginner. Such a program usually includes three stages:

1. Socio-psychological adaptation- psychological preparation of a new employee for work in the company and in the team. No matter how sociable and stress-resistant a person is, in any case, he needs help for a smooth and painless entry into a group of already established people who have long-term relationships. A beginner should be gradually introduced into the system of formal and informal relations established in the team. At the initial stage, a beginner should be introduced to the psychological climate, traditions and values ​​of the organization as a whole, as well as to give an idea of ​​interpersonal relations in the group.
2. Production adaptation- a process relating exclusively to the professional qualities and job responsibilities of an employee. In this case, it is better to initially abstract from all other areas and clearly set tasks for the employee. If job descriptions have been developed at the enterprise, then a detailed conversation should be held with the new employee about his duties, work functions, rights and daily routine. At this stage, it is also possible to assess the professional skills and knowledge of a person.
3. Organizational adaptation– a number of measures aimed at introducing the employee to the rules and requirements of the company, and familiarizing with the system of interaction horizontally and vertically.

If, nevertheless, the conflict could not be avoided, it is necessary first of all to carefully understand the causes and circumstances. Only on the basis of a detailed consideration of the situation and an assessment of the points of view of all team members, it is possible to draw conclusions with whom and how to conduct work.

Should an unsuitable employee be fired?

As practice and scientific research shows, there are three types of employees:

• Willing to work and develop;
• Consciously shirking work;
• Absolutely inert and non-initiative.

The first category can and should be worked on, adjusting their workflow and schedule, helping to build relationships with the team. If a situation arises when a newcomer is overly active and this annoys the old-timers, it is necessary to work with the entire team, it is possible to use training to improve team spirit.

The second category is people who go to work only to spend time and get paid for it. You can try to motivate them to work with the help of material and non-material incentives. The third category refers to the most unpromising group of people who are either not interested in work at all, or they are lazy and have absolutely no ambition. It is difficult to work with such people and in most cases it is useless.

The above categories describe a person's attitude to their immediate duties and work activity in general, but this does not apply to their personal qualities. The effective work of the team depends not only on the correct and accurate performance of each member of their professional functions, but also on interpersonal relationships. Often there are situations when a newcomer does an excellent job with the tasks assigned to them, but at the same time brings discord into the atmosphere of the team.

If the new member turned out to be difficult to communicate with or even a pest, the HR manager also needs to intervene here. Often, gossips and hidden manipulators disrupt the psychological climate in the team so much that even a close-knit team falls apart. Sometimes it becomes necessary to take tough measures up to and including dismissal. To avoid such situations when introducing a new member to teams and hiring, it is recommended to use proven methods - internship and probation.

There are a number of reasons for "REJECTION" or rejection of a position that the employer, colleagues and colleagues may not report, so as not to affect your self-esteem:

Poor appearance: overweight or underweight,

Some physical handicaps
- painful appearance
- too bright makeup or its complete absence,
- unkempt hands
- inappropriate clothing, in most cases it is better to go to work in a business suit

Unpleasant smell: an abundance of perfume, the smell of cigarettes;
- lack of punctuality: being late...
- excessive requirements for wages, lack of interest in work, the main criterion is salary;

demeanor: bad manners
- know-it-all manner, criticism of previous employers,

Lack of listening, lack of questions,
- imbalance, nervousness,
- excessive gesticulation, evasiveness of answers,

Self-doubt, insincerity, hiding a look, and much more;

Lack of ambition, purposefulness, desire to develop and achieve career growth;

Criminal past or previous work experience in unacceptable structures for this employer.

Sometimes the reason for refusing to hire, rejection of the team .... - directly related to communication with clients or partners, may even be a “funny” surname or its consonance with the surname of the management.

Do not become a victim of gloating and contempt!
Never get caught on petty theft, lateness, failure to complete work on time - this will only cause pity.

Make a bright, memorable act.
Let the one who does not accept you or fires you smile, let him!

You will become a successful person only when what the layman calls quitting turns into the sublime Art of Quitting for you.

Best regards, Olga Marchenko /Astromargo/

To answer your question is so simple, with a running start, it is unlikely to succeed. Too many unknowns.

Indeed, in one case, this may be the fault of your character, in another case, it may be many objective factors beyond your control.

I just need to ask you a couple of questions and you will understand what I mean.

For example, do you like people who come to you with a check? How is your relationship with the tax office? Can a guard be friends with a prisoner? Well, and so on.

And, of course, I don’t mean now the option when people of some team can meet the auditor with smiles and almost with an orchestra. As you can imagine, this is not the case.

Don't we know that it always seems to the cashier that he works more than the chief accountant, and Ch. Is an accountant rarely satisfied with his subordinates?

Of course, in any position you need to be able to behave correctly. But even the right behavior can not always guarantee friendly or good partnerships in the team.

But, if before that you worked as a seller, even earlier, as a clerk, a bus conductor or someone else, and everywhere the people of these teams rejected you, then yes, then you really need to think about how to help your grief.

On my page there is a work called "Unity of Aspirations". Read it and, quite possibly, you will get some of the answers you need.

Http://www. sunhome. Ru/navigator/v. edinstvo-aspirations

But, once again I warn you, in order to answer in detail the question you asked, a deeper dialogue is needed.

Sincerely!
Tatiana

Online consultation Not accepted into the team

You initially have a fear that the new team will not accept you. And what you fear is what you attract. Do you have skin problems? Perhaps you yourself close yourself from people, put such protection around you that repels people from you. Or rather, you push yourself away from yourself with your fear and protection. Probably in these situations there is a benefit for you, perhaps you don’t like large crowds at all, a crowd on the street in a store, you prefer solitude away from the city, alone with a book.

You are afraid of any change, as you associate it with death and extreme anxiety. Perhaps some event in your childhood influenced the development of such a fear. It could be the death of loved ones or relatives.

To get out of the vicious circle, you have to start with yourself. In this circle, the only reference point is yourself. You yourself create situations for yourself that teach you to love yourself.

You are causing this situation...
> FIRST SHOW INTEREST, and then try to distance themselves from me and then attack.

The question is, what exactly in your behavior does it attract?
think...
Ask yourself the question: what exactly are colleagues attacking? What do they say at the same time ... how they express their attitude ...
What do they not like about your behavior, why do they distance themselves from you?
When you answer these questions, be honest with yourself, and don't dismiss your own problems with phrases like "it's your colleagues to blame for everything, they're all fools... they don't understand anything" - this way you will relieve yourself of responsibility for what is happening and your problems will not move not a millimeter ... look from the position "What am I doing that they react to me like that? Or how do I feel about myself that others perceive me incorrectly?"
do not lock yourself in .... Better ask the same colleagues, at least the most pleasant for you, or better the most honest and objective ones - ask them to tell you from the side, show a look at you ...
Good luck to you;)