So the next milestone has come - 50 years ... Children have long been adults, most of the grandiose plans for life have either been realized or put away on the shelf of unfulfilled desires ...

For some, this is a time of new opportunities, but for some, a crisis ...

What to do when you are already 50, and more than half of your life has been lived?

We listen to the advice of psychologists, draw conclusions!

The topic was proposed by Zavaruhina E.V.

Only limited thinking can stop a person in his development. There are many opportunities in the world, if there is a desire.

In modern society, people are accustomed, reaching the age of 40-50 years, to prepare for old age. Many people do not even think of doing something interesting, exciting. After all, there is an opportunity, and health is still in perfect order.

I think the reason for this lies in the stereotypes of society. Kindergarten, school, institute, family, career, pension... Few people dream of doing hobbies and traveling in retirement. Abroad, this is more or less accepted, but here we are not. From here, people have despondency and readiness to exist without any joy. Although more often you can already meet people who want to live to the fullest.

Yes, a lot has been lived - 50 years are left behind. I am also 48 years old, and I feel that I have lived a lot.

However, it is important to understand that this is an amazing age when you have the opportunity to fully devote your life to yourself.

What can you do during this time? I propose to think about what you wanted to do before - in childhood, youth. What was it that you still have not been able to implement?

Set aside a day for these reflections, take a walk, come home and start writing whatever comes to your mind about this. If you think about it, then the answer will definitely come.

Another option for reflection is to start writing morning pages. Every morning, as soon as you wake up, write in a specially designated notebook 3 pages of text - everything that comes to your mind. I can assume that interesting ideas will begin to visit you, which you will begin to implement.

I wish you success in the implementation of your plans!

The topic sounds a little strange to me. I'm already over 50 ... But I don't feel age is somehow problematic. Yes, “the children have long been adults, most of the grandiose plans for life have been realized” ... But material plans ...

If you set goals of the spiritual plan, the goals of perfection, they are unattainable. My main goal in life is to learn unconditional love. And I know that at any age I will have something to strive for. Learn to love your man, your son, grandchildren, people in general, the world around you, life in all its manifestations… And more. Have a job you love. This is a separate story from my life.

I am sitting at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. Grandma comes and sits next to me. "Good morning! Good health!” “And good health to you,” I answer. The conversation starts.

“You know, girl (she’s coming to me), I was recently awarded such a rare diploma,” she says proudly. Then I find out that she is 88 years old, of which the last 30 (which means from the age of 58) she has been working as a janitor at Matsesta LLC (hydropathic clinic). The management awarded her with a diploma for a long and impeccable work.

“I really love my job,” continues the grandmother. “My territory is always very clean. In autumn, when the leaves fall, there is more work to be done. But it doesn't matter, I have such a broom. Shirk (she waves her hand) once - and immediately perfectly clean. Then she tells how she was sweeping the territory, and a visitor to the hospital drove up in a car, parked, got out and handed her grandmother five thousand rubles. "To me? For what?". And she answered - “For your work. No matter how many times I come here, it's always nice to see cleanliness. And this is your doing." But for me, five thousand is such a big amount, I have a salary of five and a half a month. But money is not the main thing for me. What is money? Yes - no. But it's nice to see the result of your work."

And they tell the truth, it doesn't matter if you're a professor or a janitor, it's important how you feel about your work. It is important to enjoy what you do for other people. And this is an illustration for me.

I am 53 years old, and I understand that I have a lot of interesting things ahead of me!

Well, if you look at my husband, who is already 4 years old like over 50, then yes! And what an active life!

I agree that a person chooses what kind of life he should live, but when does a person believe that there is no choice? Here it is somewhat more difficult. Someone will say that this is the life of this person, and it is worth letting go and not interfering. BUT when this person is close? And he has a few more people nearby who, perhaps, would like to develop, but once they do not give a framework, especially when such people went through hunger and other crisis situations ... Elena Ivanovna Turova, many thanks to you for a fly in the ointment!

In my example, I have my teachers, who already have and are over 60 years old. These are people whom I really sincerely respect and want to learn from them to rejoice, to share, to be positive and resourceful.

It is hoped that in our country there will be a slightly different attitude towards themselves among people after 50 years. Psychologists are a separate group that for the most part know what they want. But not psychologists - much more. And it seems to me that our task is to inform people about the possibility of learning to enjoy life after 50 years.

Once again, many thanks to everyone who paid their attention to this topic, which is so important for our society today.

Children have long been grown up, most of the grandiose plans for life have either been realized or put away on the shelf of unfulfilled desires ...

This happens only if a person lives according to a pattern. There is a certain "program" - to give birth before 30, grow up to 50, and after 50 become a grandmother / grandfather, stop thinking about your plans, start wearing children's things and "score on yourself", considering yourself already old.

And you can not live according to the pattern. And then, even if the children have grown up, their own life is no less interesting than before. No one is forcing you to put your plans on the shelves - but what really gets in the way? Nobody is forcing you to stand still. Many begin to travel only after 50, explore the world, decide on what they did not dare before, continue to learn something new, and some begin to give birth to children only closer to 40. Who and why should set this template and for what ?

What to do when you are already 50, and more than half of your life has been lived?

This is also a template. How do you know how many years you will live? How much do you really want? And what are you willing to do about it?

I personally know a number of people who started their health care in their 60s and in their 70s look much more fit and youthful than many in their 40s and 50s.

I am over 40, at 37 I started diving, at 40 I became a diving instructor. My shape and health are much better now than at 30. And honestly, I don’t really understand how 50 should be different from 30.

It seems to me that age is a purely conditional value, overgrown with some amount of all sorts of "should", "should", "accepted / not accepted", etc. And people themselves program themselves for earlier aging with similar attitudes like "most of life has already been lived." At the same time, they often forget that the first 15 years are not very conscious, a person in these years does not define himself at all, this is still not HIS life in the full sense of the word. Then he gains life experience, social formation takes place ....

Actually, we start to LIVE later. Consciously, making your choice and having at least some base for it. So the words of the heroine of the famous film that life is just beginning at 40 are quite fair. And the resources of our body are very considerable, if we treat it with attention and care. Therefore, life can continue for a very, very long time, if you do not clog your head with how and when "everything should be."

Probably, life begins when the constant pressure of everyone stops ... Already the children are big, and I figured out the profession, and more or less got to know myself. :)))

Only now I enjoy MY life, I realize MY desires!!!
It is important by this time not to lose health, strength, interest in development. But this, of course, does not work for everyone. :(((

It is important for children from childhood to tell about the mysteries of Life, its Surprises and Gifts... And to teach them how to keep all the most valuable things. And it's best to show them (children) an example - to get joy yourself at the age of 50+!

majority plans implemented lot plans implemented

b O the greater half of one's life has been lived BUT I have lived part of my life

what to do when you ALREADY fifty? what to do when you're just 50?

The general portrait of my clients - men over 50: smart, thinking, well-paid jobs, a measured rhythm of life, adult children, divorced or thinking about a divorce. Those who are married are in sufficient distance from their spouses, have free time, a place for solitude (another apartment, cottage, personal office).

What unites them? Self-doubt, feeling of loneliness. The bitter experience of deceit and exposure of oneself and one's spouse, mutual penetration into personal territory and its further upholding, gaining anew, reconstruction of personal boundaries. Many have already changed their profession, occupation, family, environment. There are frequent disappointments in expectations from adult children, recognition (or non-recognition) of one's guilt for insufficient participation in their upbringing. They realize that there are sores ahead, an already inflexible character, established habits. There are almost no illusions about yourself. They are afraid that they will not be able to create a couple anymore. It’s hard to discuss what really worries you (sex, your parents, prison, drugs) - “I still can’t find a person to whom I could tell everything”, “I can’t talk to my wife - old grievances and mutual claims.” Depression due to an undeserved demotion, and in connection with this: "How will I tell my family that I was fired." For a long time (up to a year) stuck thoughts “Take pills, fall asleep and feel nothing.” Lack of sincerity in conversations with his wife, not enough sex.

They are still attracted by sensuality, beauty, physicality, grace. And they also care about love, the consciousness of one's own uniqueness and the acceptance of it by a partner.

Almost all of them have a problem that is impossible to bear - it is hard for them to admit that "no one loves" them. This thought, this understanding leads to desolation. A person loses his value in the immediate environment.

The psychology of a modern man over 50 has its own specifics. What influences her today. When - the world crisis, when information rushes to mankind like an avalanche, when there is almost no sacred, unseen, secret? Television, the Internet opened the way to the Holy of Holies - you can see any medical operation, attend childbirth, spy on the love affair of famous personalities. Secret personal corrupt correspondence began to be made public (remember the Wikileaks story).

For a man of this age, it is important to be aware of his gender, it is important to be sure that even with the natural extinction of sexual activity, he will feel strong, decisive, significant. Modern studies have revealed a positive correlation between the structure of gender identity and qualities that reflect better adaptation in the elderly and senile age.

The most common strategies for dealing with the crisis after 50 years among Russian men are the following:

• a series of novels with younger partners,
• withdrawal into alcohol, into gambling,
• workaholism (alas, currently unavailable to most due to rising unemployment),
• downshifting (conscious descent through the social hierarchy, moving out of town, escape from the hustle and bustle of city stress).

The sad statistics of crisis centers and helplines: the most common portrait of a suicidal person is a man aged 59 years.

What is reasonable and effective to do? ...

• accept age-appropriate changes,
• tune in to the constructive living of your crisis life period,
• develop a "program for successfully coping with the crisis", activating energy,
• take care of your physical condition
• organize your life so that there is a place for joy in it.

A. Danilov, head of the Brain Ecology project, claims that joy is a universal elixir of health. It is the joyful experience of one's present life that brings the feeling of happiness. And to feel like the "salt of the earth" it is not necessary to be widely known or in demand, but at least at the level of the family, the closest people - parents, husband, wife, children, grandchildren or friends - everyone needs it.

After 50, it's time to start living your own life, which means stop living someone else's life. There is still time to change everything!

I think that sometimes life only begins after 50! I am now 40, and only now I am starting to gain experience as a professional (more practice), the children have grown up, now I can devote more to the work that I like. And by the age of 50, I hope my goal will be achieved. Remembering their parents at 50, they are still physically strong people with life experience, one might even say, wise. Of course, at 50, this is only half of the path traveled, and there are many interesting things ahead! We need to live and enjoy every day!

The topic is interesting, and the number 50 is symbolically beautiful. I can’t give any special recommendations from a psychologist for 50 years, because they simply don’t exist. The age is incredibly interesting - there is already enough life experience and wisdom, worked out problems of youth and a confident understanding of who I am and what I want.

But what I can do depends on a lot, including how I lived the previous stages of my life.

Around this turn, I changed my work profile and lifestyle greatly. Found new unusual professions. For example, at 51 I became a diving instructor, and at this moment, as I write these lines, I am flying to Spain, where I am developing my new project that combines diving, hydrotherapy, body-oriented therapy and Gestalt therapy.

There is much more power for creativity and new ideas. And the experience of my clients spurs even more. There is even one who, at the age of 80, after listening to me, began diving and exhaling according to my "Breathing in Water" method and after that regained mobility, travels the world and recently returned from South Africa. A couple of years ago, he still could not walk 500 meters from bench to bench.

I myself was seriously ill about 10 years ago, maybe a little more. It's hard to believe now, and I can't figure out if it was me.

Dare! Age is in the body, and in the feelings, and in the head. How you deal with them is your choice.

Life after 50 years fully continues. The retirement age changes periodically. Scientific research confirms that if a person continues to develop, to be interested in life, this has a beneficial effect on his health and intellect.

Too often stereotypes get in the way. But we are psychologists - we differ from clients in the degree of awareness. At least desirable. And we understand that at any age you can be successful, lead a full life. It all depends on the choice of the person himself - how to relate to this. You can consider yourself an old woman even at 30. Therefore, experiencing your age is very personal.

The topic is interesting. Life goes on after 50, that's for sure...

Of course, this life has its own age characteristics for both men and women ... If a woman, as a rule, cannot give birth to her children due to the end of her childbearing age, then a man can still ... As a rule, at 50 years old and older in all or most people begins to appear - for some more, for some - a "bouquet", but not of flowers, but of diseases ... and health, as you know, is a determining factor in life, that is, it can significantly affect the future activities and life in general.

As a rule, at the age of 50, a person already begins to choose priorities and limit his plans in something, that is, he begins to realize more and more that he will not have time to accomplish something, to achieve something in his life, so he is becoming more and more strict in choosing what he still needs to do, and what is no longer so important for him and his loved ones ...

But life - it, of course, continues and will continue until death in the sense that if a person is active according to his capabilities and is engaged in socially useful work, or, so to speak, until his activity brings at least some benefit to people ... then a person will not thrown out of life - he is in the ranks, in the "clip" - he is not a ballast and a burden for other people ...

Dear fellow psychologists, the question itself sounds ridiculous, wrong, crooked. It seems that everyone who writes here is called upon to "gouge" the Soviet stereotype. Such a question in many developed countries can be an insult. 50 years is the age of Creativity, Service, Eccentricity, Love and Joy!

I'm 54 and I don't want to be 20 or 30 years old because I have everything that the younger generation has - health, enthusiasm, dreams and plans, interesting work and self-development strategies, love, children (adults) and... what they don't have - Complete Freedom, Wisdom and a great Taste for Life! Yes, wrinkles appear, well, this is how to look at them. I love them! And I'm glad that I live among people for whom skydiving at 92 is the NORM!

Age is an interesting phenomenon: there are numbers, there are papers, there are sensations, there are relationships - and it is very difficult to "reconcile" these different sides of age within oneself. For example, when you discover at the age of 30 that on paper you are no longer a "young scientist" as before, although you internally feel completely different, and at 40 it turns out that you can fall in love like a teenager, but at the same time you may be denied a job place due to "age", etc. And you face such different inconsistencies at any age.

In my opinion, there are simple everyday (that is, acquired by long experience in everyday psychology) ways of adapting to age, some of which have long been in my piggy bank, which I constantly replenish.

For example, to look at those who are older, to "try on" someone else's dress - as it happens, as you would like. For example, when I was a third-year student, my pedagogy teacher Vera Petrovna Bederkhanova, at the age of 60, went to driving courses - and told how a young teacher first ran to refuse such an elderly student, and then appreciated her advice, how she streamlined the training system for herself and how to start driving.

With the same question: "How does it happen?" you can watch, read, listen to the biographies of famous people, cultural and scientific figures. Someone found their way earlier, someone later, but at any age there are finds, discoveries, opportunities.

The second point is to try new things, to go off the "knurled paths" on your own, to look around. I read in an interview with one creative person that he was not afraid of retirement age - because he never had a stable salary and knows well what it means to look for different part-time jobs and not wait for help from the state.

Another important point for me is to expand my inner horizons, set long-term and timeless goals. For example, when I was a teenager, I recalled fairy tales in which an "old wise woman" always appeared from somewhere and prompted the hero in difficult moments - how to behave or what to pay attention to. Looking around me, I realized that I was very unlucky, and many women who seemed to be in this role for me were very preoccupied with their problems, complained to others about their lives, got angry, and even if they undertook to advise something young generation, they never asked and often did not rely on even the simplest everyday logic. This was probably one of the important factors for me in choosing a profession - I remember the day when I thought that I wanted to eventually be this wise old woman, which is so hard to find in our time ...

And only finding myself on this path, I realized how difficult it is. Wisdom is something like gold, which you extract from the ore of life experience, sifting the sand, selecting the main thing bit by bit, bit by bit, this is a big life-long work. When there is a goal inside that contains more than one, two, three, four age periods - 50 years are perceived not as limitations, but as opportunities. Opportunities for new experiences, new sensations from life, new relationships, and the possibility of fulfilling your teenage dream of a wise old woman.

I found a similar dream with my friend - from a slightly different angle: she dreamed of an active and fighting granny (like from the French film "Boom"), who participates not only in secrets, but also in gambling and risky actions of teenagers.

There are, of course, specific circumstances to which one has to adapt separately (for example, to changes in the state of health or to the loss of loved ones), but no one is immune from them throughout life and even in childhood.

Mental wealth and prosperity - that's what I want to wish myself and others at any age.

Each round date is accompanied by some excitement, sometimes tension and even fear - especially among the fairer sex. After all, round dates are automatically perceived as the sound of the alarm that your youth is moving further and further away from you.

I decided to celebrate my 50th in a completely unconventional way - without numerous guests at the festive table. Together with my youngest daughter, we flew to Turkey to relax and gain strength, lying on the seashore. It was this atmosphere of the sunny coast, fragrant sea air filled with the magical smells of various flowers that helped me make a small report on what I came up to the milestone at the age of 50. And with each new item I liked this report more and more, and I I was able to accept it with great Gratitude painlessly and even with a certain amount of pride in myself.

The main thing is that I am physically healthy and look great on the outside, I have found my purpose and am doing my favorite thing, which brings me both moral and material satisfaction. I have two wonderful daughters who have taken place as Personalities, as Women and as Mothers. They bring me a lot of joy, and most importantly, I became the grandmother of three wonderful grandchildren, and this is the biggest gift from my eldest daughter. I perceive communication with my grandchildren as a miracle in the truest sense of the word - I am 20 years younger with them and I can spend time playing football with my grandson, and Monopoly already with both elders. And when I hear their sincere words of recognition to me in Love - I'm just in seventh heaven from Happiness!

I also want to note the respectful and friendly relations with my two sons-in-law - sincere and mutually respectful relations have been built between us. And this is another gift from my daughters - having made the choice of their halves, they gave me two dear people, whom I perceive as sons, whom I never had.

Separately, in my report, I allocated a place to my Friends. There are three of those with whom I have been friends for more than 20 years - and this is Friendship for centuries. There are those whom I met in a new city for myself. And, despite the fact that there are only a few years of communication between us, they are also interesting and dear to me.

And now I want to list my hobbies and interests - with great pleasure I go to the premieres of films in cinemas, with no less pleasure I purchase tickets in advance for a ballet, opera and a classical concert of our and foreign guests of the capital. Performances and musicals also attract my attention, and I rejoice at every opportunity to watch them with my friends and relatives, as if for the first time.

Beautiful music, yoga, swimming, travel and outdoor walks are an integral part of my life. Recently, I have a new hobby - drawing 12 magic cells, which gives a deep immersion in the process and reveals my Creative potential.

Educational trainings and seminars supplement my life with new professional knowledge and new acquaintances, some of which develop into good and mutually pleasant communication outside the seminars.

Recently I read a good phrase "There can be a ceiling above a person's head or ... The sky" and I think this is just about how a person sees and perceives his life. He can either see limitations associated with age, with status, and God knows what else, or ... see his limitless possibilities, especially in the period when children have already grown up and can themselves bear responsibility for themselves and their lives, when you have a favorite job, strong relationships and the opportunity to realize all your dreams, for which there was not enough time and money once.

And the most important acquisition of the golden frontier is life experience, which helps to avoid unnecessary mistakes and helps to move through life much more comfortably and easily. Well, is it possible to devalue all this with just one thought - I'm 50, and this is already a sentence?

I can only sincerely Thank the Universe for everything I have and for what is yet to come! Love begins with an attitude towards yourself, and only when you fill yourself to the brim, you can share with everyone who is close to you. This is the secret of how a person perceives his age - either there is something to share from a state of fullness or ... there is something to be sad about. The choice is yours!

For a person who has thought about his life from an early age, who has invested strength in this process, who has devoted time, more or less, for someone who has found the opportunity to be sincere with himself until the age of fifty, and after, the process of development and individuation continues.

To say that many begin to think about the question of starting to live fully after 50 is rather incorrect, unnatural, even deceptive. Just like offering significant changes in life to a person who is not prepared to work on himself in the age category of fifty and beyond, starting new projects is irresponsible.

Of course, now there are more and more people for whom health issues in the second half of life do not become a burden, and this pleases! At any age, a person is able to develop, thinking about the future, not to lose heart, not to get lost, being left to himself.

And for a long, pleasant life, a new culture of being in everyday life is needed in order to know well, to feel where personal energy is focused. It is good to correct your own life at any age, to mobilize your potential to achieve maximum maturity in your own desires, dreams, self-esteem, including.

I know retirees who travel, express themselves creatively and are absolutely happy, and look younger. Therefore, I know for sure that there is life after 50, if you organize it for yourself. :)

There are, of course. Another question is who is satisfied with her (life). Someone says that he is already old and there is nothing more to do in life. And someone says that this is another fruitful stage in life and opens their own Psychological Center, enters an art school and fulfills their old dream of drawing, someone goes to vocal lessons and starts performing on a professional stage, someone gets married and completely changes your life.

Both those and other examples before my eyes, these are examples from life. Everyone lives as he sees fit. I’m not sure that the first option brings joy to someone, but it probably makes some sense for them. For example, once again to attract the attention of already matured children. The second option inspires me much more. It has a search for something new, energy, strength, interest.

Many people think that life after 50 has a lot of limitations. Restrictions are mainly associated with health and finances, that is, enough money to, as it were, not deny yourself anything, enjoying life. And when we pay attention to European women over the age of fifty, it is striking that they do not care about age at all. Why?

Maybe because the Europeans have better finances, more pensions and health care there is generally different, not like ours. Of course, this is the case, as well as the fact that in Europe the standard of living is not the same for everyone. There are quite a few older people living quite modestly. But at the same time, their lifestyle does not change dramatically. They are not nervous, respect their age and love themselves.

Older Europeans lead an active lifestyle: they walk a lot, take long walks, run, ride bicycles, travel, and even hitchhike! Have you seen such a thing with us, that someone well over fifty hitchhiked? That is, one should not think that only "wealthy" foreigners are active - this is not so. If they can't afford to buy a bike, they buy walking poles. They do not sit on a bench discussing neighbors. And they don't even sit on benches!

European women do not nurse their children until retirement and take very good care of themselves. They do their hair, dye their hair, do manicures, use perfumes, like to wear accessories and almost always wear jewelry, sometimes even too much. High heeled shoes or patent leather boots are not surprising. You can say that they have an easier life and still find a lot of reasons why we cannot live like them. But these are all excuses!

Look at these beauties, you can’t call them grannies! They not only look after themselves, but also adhere to fashion trends. Neat manicure, stylish hairstyle and tasteful clothes. But most importantly, their eyes shine, which, as you know, are the mirror of the soul. Let's take their example and always stay young at heart.

Three tips for loving your age

1. Learn to live your life. Leave your children's lives to them. We are used to living the lives of children, not our own. We support them until retirement, we employ them, we worry about them endlessly. Children's lives are their lives. Remember what parents are for? In order to teach a child to live independently - this is where our mission ends.

2. Change the quality of your time. If you're not working, then opt for walking, cycling, or walking sticks instead of watching "ladies' shows" with "wacky advice" or soap operas. There should be more active time than passive time. However, you can continue to develop on the couch or at the table: read, learn new things, be interested in the world and life. Chat with friends and girlfriends who hold the same views on age.

3. Take care of yourself. No, I do not urge you to go to a beautician for Botox and fillers or to a surgeon for a new face oval. But masks, massages, spa treatments are easy to do at home. And there are also hairdressers for regular haircuts and hair coloring, for styling for the holidays. Do manicure, make-up. Well-groomed appearance first of all pleases your eyes.

For a happy life at the age of 50-60 millions are not needed, for this you need only love for yourself and desire. Love yourself!

With love, Eva Solar

www.evasolar.ru

How to love yourself. 8 effective rules / Self-development / What changes people.

According to statistics, women face the problem of low self-esteem twice as often as men. We have to admit: we women love ourselves less. We always have a thousand reasons to be dissatisfied with ourselves: she did the wrong thing, and said the wrong thing, and the figure is imperfect, and the diploma is not Harvard, and Sasha Gray is not in bed. Even the most beautiful and successful of us, it would seem, are able to find millions of flaws in ourselves. But everyone knows that self-dislike is the main reason for failures in personal life, in a career, and even has a direct impact on health.

Loving yourself is simply necessary, but this is no longer news. “Increase your self-esteem, and your life will get better!” - it is written in almost every manual for working on yourself. Great idea! Only it would be better if they explained HOW exactly to do it. It is not possible, in fact, to fall asleep with all your complexes, and wake up without them.

Why did I decide to write this article? To tell women how to love themselves and increase their self-esteem, and therefore how to become happy, successful and live in harmony with themselves.

Why me? Because I know the problem firsthand and have my own positive experience in solving it. Because I can say unequivocally: today I love myself much more than, say, six months ago. These 8 rules really helped me. I hope they will be useful for you too!

RULE #1

Stop criticizing others

I can already hear your indignation: “Yes, I hardly criticize anyone but myself!”. Yeah of course. I thought so too. If you don't believe me, do an experiment. Take a notebook (notebook, just a sheet of paper - it doesn’t matter) and carry it with you everywhere throughout the day, ticking every time you say out loud or even MENTALLY release a critical remark about someone around you, be it your mother, husband, a girlfriend, a strange woman on the bus, or a Hollywood star on the TV screen. You will be surprised how many ticks you get by the end of the day!

Here, after all, here's the thing - it is known that we treat others in the same way that, deep down, we treat ourselves. We criticize others because we criticize ourselves. This is a double-edged sword. Stop berating yourself at this stage is still too difficult, so I suggest going the other way and first stop making caustic remarks about others.

If you meet a woman on the street, let's say, in years, dressed in a miniskirt and with bright makeup in broad daylight and wonder what is wrong with her, then most likely she is enjoying life and doing what her soul orders, but something is wrong with you. Ask yourself the question: “Why do I care so much?”. It may very well be that it is precisely because she just has the courage to live the way her soul asks, but you don’t. Do you know what it is? Envy. The real, in its purest form, insidiously disguised as common sense. Drive her away with a filthy broom!

So stop criticizing. In case of an urgent need to condemn someone, do not forget to ask yourself the same question - why does this bother you? A friend will survive without information about how much she recovered. And the husband should not be informed that he has neither hearing nor voice. And the fact that the neighbors' ears are pawned is nothing - let them buy earplugs or an apartment in another area. At their choice.

Seriously, stop judging! One of my favorite phrases is "If you judge people, you won't have time to love them." You will be surprised how many virtues are hidden even in strangers, if you just stop criticizing them both out loud and mentally. And along with this, you will see the most unexpected virtues in yourself, and one day you will suddenly realize that you no longer consider your shortcomings under a microscope. And isn't that what we're after?

RULE #2

Do what the soul commands!

Of course, we are all civilized and adult people, and since we live in society, we must follow certain rules. But sometimes you don't care about these rules! I mean - to give in to the impulse, to do what you really want, even if those around you do not approve of it. Forget for a second that you are a mother of two and a top marketer for an international corporation. Do exactly what you want. Take off your heels and hop around the street, give yourself a crazy haircut, get into an argument and passionately defend the most ridiculous position, start singing loudly to your favorite song in a restaurant (I'm talking about my desires now - you probably have yours). You can’t be responsible and serious all your life, let the child inside you have fun and don’t reproach yourself for it!

Be selfish, spit on cleaning and take a bubble bath or watch a good movie just because you feel like it. this moment. Believe me, in a few days the dust will fall back into place in an even layer, and an invaluable contribution to self-love will remain with you forever. So every day we do a lot of things that we don’t want to do, so why not sometimes go to meet ourselves?

And do not allow yourself to feel guilty about those close to you - they need a happy and full of energy daughter, wife, mother, girlfriend, girlfriend, and not a tortured, unhappy and irritable ideal mistress.

RULE #3

If possible, distance yourself from those who criticize you.

Do you have a friend who will not change to replace that since your last meeting you have begun to look worse; will not forget to remind you of all your failures in life and put pressure on sore calluses with your whole foot? If there is, then I advise you to seriously consider whether you need such a person in your life. Of course, she criticizes you because she herself is not all right with self-esteem, but what do you care? Avoid close contact with people who undermine your self-confidence.

And vice versa - if someone gives you positive energy, supports you in your endeavors and encourages you to take action, try to find time in your busy schedule to communicate with this person, generously paying him the same coin.

But what if if you can not get rid of the destroyer of your self-esteem? What if a colleague at work makes you doubt yourself, from which, whatever one may say, you can’t get anywhere? For this, there is

RULE #4

Learn to fight back

So, one of the components of self-love is the ability to protect yourself. If you allow your feet to be wiped on you, they will do it again and again.

This rule is perhaps the most difficult of all, because we are all accustomed from childhood not to disappoint the expectations of others. But there is one remedy that has helped me a lot.

It is important to understand here that there are such vampire people who just want to pinch others more painfully. They are so self-assertive. Well, when you (and I) have 100% self-esteem, we will stop noticing it, but for now we need to act radically. Answer caustic remarks calmly and kindly: "What's your business?". If you are not used to defending yourself, this will cut the ground from under the provocateur's feet. It is not necessary to get involved in further conflict.

Yes, it's rough. But you know what? It's better to be rude than a victim. But a human vampire will remember once and for all that you cannot be touched.

There is, of course, a category of people to whom you cannot answer in this way: say, a boss or a mother. But if they do everything to make you feel like a failure, they should also fight back. For example, politely but very firmly explaining that you will not allow yourself to be treated like that. And for God's sake, don't press pity, don't try to describe in colors how miserable you are and how cruel and unfair they torment you with their nit-picking. If it does have an effect, it will be short-term, and your self-esteem will lose a few more points. After all, it's you who put on the costume of the victim. Do not criticize the one who does not allow himself to be criticized - so do not allow it.

RULE #5

Be generous with compliments

We all enjoy being praised, so don't be shy about giving people GENUINE compliments. Relatives and friends, acquaintances and strangers, all-all-all. Only from the heart, because it is so easy to find something completely amazing in everyone (I think, having stopped criticizing, you were convinced of this).

Notice the good and SPEAK ABOUT IT OUT! Praise the new hairstyle, sense of humor, originality of thinking, the ability to do something really well. Make someone's day a little better. Just talk about what really excites you. By starting to see the good in others, you will feel what an amazing world we all live in and feel safe.

And besides - and I can't explain how it works - people around you will suddenly start complimenting you too. Much, willingly and very sincerely.

RULE #6

Praise yourself before bed

Here is a very simple and powerful exercise: before you fall asleep, find 5 reasons to mentally praise yourself today. It can be anything: giving up an uneaten chocolate bar in favor of a thin waist (although I really wanted to!), Washing up the dishes, or having a great day at work. Do not hesitate to praise yourself even for the little things: after all, they could not have done it, but they did it! If it is difficult to name 5 at once, start with 3, but act. Signal to your brain that you are proud of yourself and believe in yourself. It is very simple and takes only a minute of time, but it has a tremendous effect. Do you feel sorry for yourself for a moment?

RULE #7

Give yourself gifts

This is the rule that you will find in every glossy magazine, and, you know, for good reason: we women love gifts. It doesn’t have to be something expensive (although if you really want to, go on your own terms), but intended for you and pleasing heart.

I have always been surprised by women who ask their husband for a frying pan or a mixer for the holiday. One of my friends even asked for a concrete mixer for her birthday! And then we, the girls, are surprised: where did all the romance from the relationship go?

Therefore, pamper yourself, give yourself gifts, by the way, not only material, but also moral. A meeting with a good old friend, a couple of hours spent doing what you love - why aren't these gifts? Learn to enjoy them to the fullest and be grateful to yourself for this opportunity.

RULE #8

humble pride

Just try to understand: to consider yourself worse than others is pride. Everyone, they say, is the same (in this case, successful, happy, beautiful, lucky), but I am not like everyone else (read: special). So let's leave pride and understand that we are the same as everyone else, because each, absolutely each of us deserves happiness.

levelberi.ru

Hello dear readers! Let's do a little test right now, shall we? Draw a straight vertical line. Imagine yourself as a point and put it on this line. Anywhere. What happened? Are you ready to find out the results? If the dot is in the center, you have good self-esteem, if a little higher, you are prone to narcissism, and lower is a clear sign that you do not value yourself.

In this article, I'm going to look at ways to boost self-esteem. You will receive advice from a psychologist on how to love yourself. A few useful recommendations on how to be self-confident and the TOP of the best books that will help even women and men after 50 feel 5 points. Let's start?

Do not confuse

The question “how to love yourself” is often asked at consultations with psychologists. This is a very important task. Man is born and dies alone. You can run away from a jealous husband or a grumpy wife, but you can't get away from yourself. You can just act or constantly complain about a bad character, unsuccessful actions, stupidity, and so on.

Almost every day we confront other people at work, in the store, sometimes even in the family. This is not always obvious, but often they try to convince us that we are not as good at something as we think. Fighting with yourself is a living hell.

Do not confuse good self-esteem with narcissism or selfishness. These concepts are very different. A person who is satisfied with himself remains kind, he thinks not only about himself, while his figure remains significant a priori. It is difficult to spoil his mood, and conceit cannot be changed.

Why does everyone need high self-esteem? It allows you to take care of yourself, not forget about your needs and find a compromise with your family. Often girls accuse men of “getting on their necks”: they don’t help around the house, they stop giving gifts, they forget about the family. The reason for this, as a rule, lies in the woman herself. It was she who at some point gave all of herself to the young man.

The situation needs to be corrected.

Home Treatments

It is very difficult to force yourself to love on your own, and when it is directed at the person himself, the task becomes incredibly difficult. Nevertheless, you need to try to increase your self-esteem.

Where to begin? First of all, try to think about what your advantages are. Take a piece of paper and spend an hour doing self-analysis. At first it will be difficult, open a list of character traits in a search engine and find the ones that fit. Concentrate. This is the first step.

Next, think about what you would like to change about yourself. Self-improvement is an absolutely normal phenomenon for an adult person. Dreaming of reshaping your body? Why not. Do you think that you lack cheerfulness? Fine. This is the goal.

There are many books out there to help you reach your goal. The result cannot but please you.

Recently I talked with a friend who told me a very interesting thing. Her husband is quitting smoking. Almost every evening they fight. He expresses his indignation over trifles and a scandal begins.

I asked a completely logical question: “Was it different before? Do you think it's because of the lack of nicotine? She smiled and replied: “What kind of nicotine is there. He still smokes and after that throws a tantrum. I think that the problem is not in cigarettes, but in the fact that he cannot refuse them.

Most often, we are angry with ourselves not because of the problem, but because we cannot find the time to finally solve it. If your self-esteem is not high enough just because of dissatisfaction with yourself, and you know how to deal with it, do it as soon as possible.

I understand that you are working, the schedule is busy, there is not enough time for anything. Know. As long as the problem remains in your life, you will not be able to fully relax. If it is impossible to solve the problem, then it will be better to put up with it.

For example, you cannot find a man. You feel like you're not good enough for a relationship. Try to take your mind off this. Convince yourself that you don't need it.

Books

Here are some books to help you cope and boost your self-esteem. The first thing I can advise you is Louise Hay's Healing Affirmations coloring book. This is a bestseller for female happiness. Imagine, a simple coloring can make you a little better.

Buy felt-tip pens, crayons or paints and color in pictures that say how beautiful you are. You yourself will not notice how you believe what is written there. This is a new level of creativity and healing. Very soon your life will seem to you much better and more pleasant.

“Hormons of happiness” by Loretta Graziano Breuning in 45 days will teach your brain to produce serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin. You will learn how to activate the right substances by changing the pathways of neurons to be happier. In 45 days, you will form new patterns of behavior and you will be sad less often.

Every person has habits. Some of them annoy us ourselves, others please us for a while, but then we don’t even react to them. You should be familiar with this. The first week we experience satisfaction from playing sports, and then we force ourselves to go to the gym through strength. It is about such habits that is described in the book “Hormones of Happiness”.

You will find a lot of exercises and tests that will increase self-esteem in the book Self-Confidence by Alice Muir. It is suitable for those people who would like to behave more confidently at work, speaking in public. Alice Muir will teach you not only to work productively, but also to relax properly so as not to burn out emotionally.

In Yitzhak Adizes' book, Reflections on Personal Development, you will find many wise thoughts on topics that concern every person. At the same time, his look is very unconventional. He reflects on happiness, weight loss, creativity, performance and more. You will be able to look at familiar things in a new way.

I would really like to give you at least one example from this book, but, unfortunately, it is simply impossible to “tear out” anything from it. This would be sheer nonsense. Yitzhak, on the other hand, gives arguments and proves his point of view every time. Even when he says that physical health and beauty are not such an important thing. This is the best spiritual food for people who seek themselves.

ezy-life.com

At the beginning of the new century, physicians in the United States and Europe were faced with an amazing phenomenon: in patients over 50 years of age, the number of sexually transmitted diseases increased dramatically. On the one hand, the situation is, of course, sad. But on the other hand, strange as it may sound, it is very encouraging.

Medical statistics confirm a new trend: more and more sex after fifty *. The generation of the 1960s is to be thanked for this first of all. Their youth came at the peak of the sexual revolution that freed Western society from prohibitions and taboos. Having crossed the 50-year mark, they did not begin to change their habits. Which is quite natural: the level of sexual activity in adulthood directly depends on its level in youth and how important this activity seems to us**.

Until recently, the sexual life of women after 50 simply did not exist in the public mind. At this age, it was prescribed to nurse grandchildren, to mess with flowers in the garden or bake pies in the kitchen, at most - to occupy an important leadership position. Under the influence of this stereotype, many women really ceased to be interested in sex, says psychotherapist Robert Segraves (Robert Segraves) ***. And since the desire persisted, they were ashamed to admit it.

Read also Ekaterina Mikhailova: “Sexuality is one of the faces of freedom”

Today, everything has changed, although there are still internal difficulties. Hormonal restructuring objectively reduces sexual potential, and in order to overcome its influence, it is important not to consider age as a sentence to sex. Many women are embarrassed that their body is losing its former shape, and tend to think that it is no longer able to interest men. Sexologist Pamela Connolly (Pamela Connolly) cites the statements of many of her patients aged 50-55 years. Here is a characteristic quote: “The main problem now is in my attitude towards myself. I don't feel like a woman to the same extent as before. I lost confidence that I could attract men. And I miss that feeling so much! I talked about this with my friends. They claim they don't care. But I doubt they are telling the truth.”****

About it

"Conscious Attraction" by Stanley Siegel (Eksmo, 2012).

Age changes are a serious challenge, Pamela Connolly admits, and caring for sexuality after fifty requires more effort than before. But they are worth it: intimate life at this age can bring no less, if not more pleasure than in younger years. Here is another testimonial: “Is my belly too big? Did your chest sag? I tormented myself with these questions until one day my partner said, “Look, we're both in our mid-twenties. Let's just enjoy each other!" These words set me free. You have no idea what a relief it is to just enjoy sex without judging anything. I discovered a lot of things that I did not know about in those very twenty-five! Do not look back at other people's opinions, overcome your own fears, love yourself and respect your desires - this is the main secret of good sex at this ... as well as at any other age.

** J. Stuart-Hamilton "Psychology of Aging" (Peter, 2010).

*** Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, 1995, No. 21.

**** P. Connolly "Sex Life: How Our Sexual Encounters and Experiences Define Who We Are" (Vermilion, 2011).

See also Sex: what do women want now?

50-55 years Time of change

Survive the changes that this special age brings. Knowing that sexuality does not end with the advent of menopause, continue to nourish sensuality in yourself, which still strives for pleasure, lightness, openness. Resist time in the struggle for your desire, inspired by the joy and thirst for life. Despite the fear of aging, allow yourself to experience the full range of erotic pleasures. Re-experience interest in experimentation; explore new areas of your sexuality in order to better know the depth and power of your pleasure. Living in your body is simple and natural. Accept parting with youth and learn to be more calm about the present. Only this will allow you to experience inner rebirth, feel confident and full of vitality ...

Pass the tests

Can you share pleasure in sex?

www.psychologies.ru

Ekaterina Sobchik, a psychologist at PKB No. 12, answered these and many other questions.

"AiF": - How to find the meaning of life after 50 years, if the husband left for another woman, the children left and the favorite work turned into a routine?

Ekaterina Sobchik: - In this situation, you can indulge your selfishness with might and main. Everything that you did not allow yourself until the age of 50, because you belonged to the family, husband, child, you can safely allow and implement. It is after 50 years that many women find the most unexpected pleasures in life, because they are not burdened with passions, hormones do not drive them into obligatory love. You can go to the pool, you can go dancing. Now it has become very popular for older women to go to dances, it is very useful from the point of view of physiology, the musculoskeletal system, it is good from an emotional point of view.

You can start going to theaters, reading literature avidly, lounging on the couch with a book and no one will demand dinner. You must learn to enjoy such a selfish life. Someone finds pleasure in growing flowers, if there is a garden, someone is engaged in animals. The world is huge and you can always find a use for yourself in it.

If there is a mindset in you that 50 is already the end of your life, then just remember that you still have 30-40 years ahead of you. Imagine how many more years of life you can cross out and turn into a dull and miserable existence. It's just a different quality of life.

If a person is relatively healthy, then this time, retirement age, is very interesting in its own way. Of course, if there are chronic diseases, they impose certain restrictions. Nevertheless, a person can still find some niche for himself in which he could manifest himself.

"AiF": - How to survive unrequited love?

E.S.: - Not a single state, not a single feeling is frozen. In any case, something is changing. If you are monogamous, it is quite possible that you will carry this feeling through your whole life, but the sharpness will disappear, it will not be so painful. You will treat this as an integral part of your life and it will not bother you. If you are not monogamous and are able to switch, then the time has not yet come. The time will come, you will one day wake up and feel that you are free and can love another person.

Photo credit: globallookpress.com

"AiF": - But there are times when people love one person for 20 years, but cannot be with him ...

E.S.: - And it happens. We tend to mythologize our lives sometimes. These are different things: not married and in love for 20 years, and they do not have to be connected at all. Sometimes this is a good excuse for the fact that life did not work out, because I loved this Petya Pupkin all my life, and he ruined it for me. This is largely a myth.

"AiF": - How to be shy girls who would like to get married, but do not appreciate their appearance themselves?

E.S .: - Usually it is difficult for a woman herself to cope with such an attitude. The first thing to think about is to live on your own, without parents. Living together with your parents is a very serious barrier and a very dangerous path, especially if you are already about 30 years old.

Because at 40 you can't do anything at all. Unfortunately, our parent-child relationship develops in such a way that parents are not very willing to let their children go. Many parents, despite the fact that they say: I want you to get married, I'm worried that nothing works out for you, somewhere deep down they feel satisfaction from this situation - my daughter is with me, maternal egoism often manifests itself in this way. Therefore, we must live separately. This is the first.

As for appearance, now there are so many programs on this topic! It is obvious that any appearance can be beaten, the whole point is to find your style. And with fullness, and with a small stature, you can be very effective if you muster up the courage. Usually the main problem is to muster up the courage.

www.aif.ru

Confidence is a strong and reliable magnet that will attract people around you. Women, like no one else, are prone to a feeling of low self-esteem, which leads to the development of most problems. It is very important for a person to cultivate an unshakable character and confidence in his actions in order to achieve his goals. Many women fail to build a successful career or find happiness in their personal lives due to a lack of self-confidence.

To successfully overcome the many obstacles along the way, fortunately, insecure women need to increase their self-esteem and learn to become stronger.

A few words about self-esteem

Self-confidence is the "key" to a happy and successful life. But not all women are able to appreciate their dignity, love themselves and appreciate their achievements.

The concept of "self-esteem" is the internal state of a person, due to which there is an awareness and assessment of one's qualities. Women are more likely than men to suffer from low self-esteem, which does not have a very favorable effect on their personal development and life.

Types of self-assessment

Women's self-confidence is undermined every day in the modern industrial world, where slender girls with perfect appearance and successful people look from TV screens and magazine covers. In addition, the experience of betrayal and divorce from her husband, especially after 50 years, makes itself felt, unloved work and constant failures. All this puts a lot of pressure on the fragile emotional state of a woman and, accordingly, reduces her level of self-esteem below average.

Such a person looks longingly at those who successfully build their careers or find a soul mate. If a woman behind herself noticed such thoughts as: “I am not worthy of this,” then there is low self-esteem, and this must be urgently dealt with.

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem: Confidence Training

Confidence Test

The function of self-esteem is to reflect the attitude of the individual to himself, his abilities and actions. To test self-confidence, you can take a simple test, the questions in which will help a person find out the level of his self-esteem:

1. 1. Do you have thoughts that you are superfluous in this world?
2. 2. Do you find it difficult to defend your point of view?
3. 3. Do you try to be as inconspicuous as possible and prefer to get lost in the crowd?
4. 4. You don't like to make yourself stand out?
5. 5. You do not make up and do not preen?
6. 6. You don't like your appearance?
7. 7. Do you not please yourself with beautiful dresses and high-heeled shoes, afraid to draw attention to yourself?
8. 8. Is it very difficult for you to make an independent decision?
9. 9. Are men indifferent to you?
10. 10. Do failures scare you to the core?
11. 11. Do you modestly keep your opinions to yourself, thinking that no one will be interested in them?
12. 12. Do you feel bad about yourself?

By answering these questions, you can understand your emotional state. If there are more affirmative answers, then self-esteem urgently needs to be increased.

Signs and methods for eliminating love addiction to a man or woman

Signs of self-doubt

Low self-esteem is an intuitive unconscious decrease in the importance of one's merits, disrespect for one's personality and a worse attitude towards oneself.

This condition appears as follows:

Signs of low self-esteem in behavior	Characteristic
Avoiding praise and compliments	When a person is praised, he tries in every possible way to ascribe merit to someone else. When a compliment is made, the girl is very lost and does not believe that this compliment is worthy of her. You need to develop self-respect and learn to calmly accept compliments.
Doubt and confusion	It is very difficult for a person to make an independent choice or make a final decision. He subconsciously thinks that those around him will laugh at him. You need to force yourself not to be afraid to speak your mind boldly.
Comparing yourself to others	A confident person rarely resorts to this, but a person with low self-esteem considers himself inferior to others. You need to stop comparing yourself to others and learn to respect yourself as a unique person.
concessions	A person knows in advance that failure awaits him and therefore yields even to the detriment of himself. You need to believe in yourself and start acting no matter what.
Constant feeling of guilt	This speaks of complete disrespect. Such a person is able to blame himself even for something he has nothing to do with.
Denial in speech	The speech is dominated by negative phrases and uncertainty in expressing one's own thoughts. This person is pessimistic about the world around him.

Where can a woman meet a man for a serious relationship?

Consequences of a negative self-image

Low self-esteem has far-reaching consequences that affect later life.

Consequence	Explanation
Obstacle on the way to love and understand	A woman who cannot love herself cannot give love to others.
Wrong choices in relationships and marriage	Low self-esteem is capable of making a fatal choice for a person on a subconscious level. A woman intuitively connects her life with the man who will reproach, humiliate and criticize her. 'Cause she can't do without it
Negative impact on children	Children are able to learn the attitudes of their parents from an early age. And if their mother suffers from disrespect for herself, then the child will also lose respect for her over time, while adopting part of the self-doubt on his personality. Parents are able at the genetic level to pass on to their children both high self-esteem and low self-esteem.
Negative attitude of men	If a woman does not love herself, then men will not love her either. If a woman considers her body unattractive, then she will experience fears and complexes, which is unlikely to positively affect her sex life.
Disappointment in life	Whenever a woman fails, she is able to blame the whole world. But she simply does not dare to try to change something in her life. So she will always only complain and live wrong
Definition of false targets	Such people are subject to public opinion and stronger influence. If a person cannot achieve success in the area he likes, then he begins to devote himself to those goals that were imposed on him and are well perceived in his environment. But that's not his goal.

Defeats on the personal front

Many girls believe that the breakup with a loved one was their fault. Such situations are the cause of the development of a depressed emotional state.

Self-esteem can collapse after:

• betrayal of a husband or boyfriend;
• parting with a loved one;
• divorce from her husband;
• oppressive pressure from a husband or boyfriend.

In this case, a woman will need advice and recommendations from psychologists.

First you need to get rid of unnecessary memories and experiences from a past life and start everything from scratch. It is necessary to find a new passion or hobby for yourself, to engage in self-development and art, and to get the most out of the current situation and to avoid previous mistakes when forming new relationships. This technique helps to cleanse yourself morally and gives impetus to confident progress in the right direction.

Tips from psychologists to help raise a woman's self-esteem

To become more self-confident, a woman should learn to accept herself and love for who she is. This is the main guarantee of confidence.

The reason for low self-esteem can be a lack of confidence in external attractiveness. Before you begin to cultivate a solid character in yourself, you need to put your appearance in order. It greatly affects the level of self-esteem of the individual. A well-groomed woman attracts the views of people around her. You can go to a beauty salon, update your hair and makeup, get a beautiful manicure.

You need to seriously rethink your wardrobe. Old things should be immediately thrown away, choose a style of clothing that favorably emphasizes all the advantages of the figure.

These steps will be the first "stepping stone" on the path to changing your life.

Recommendation	Detailed Tips
Understand that a person is a self-sufficient and complete person	1. A woman should not show love for herself through her boyfriend. She must love herself regardless of the presence of the second half. 2. A woman must realize that she is a person, regardless of whether she has some thing or not. 3. A fatal mistake is to love yourself because of your appearance. 4. A girl must love herself no matter the circumstances.
Accept yourself for who you are	1. Accept and forgive all your mistakes from the past. 2. Realize that these were the right decisions, given the knowledge and experience at the time. 3. Learn from mistakes, because they give you experience and strength. Everything is going the way it should be. 4. Love yourself for your mistakes and stop torturing your soul. 5. Accept all your flaws and stop judging yourself for them.
Loving yourself for no reason and giving joy to others	If there is a reason, then it is material and capable of dissolving at any moment. As soon as there is no reason, self-love will also disappear, and finding a new reason is not so easy. A woman who gives joy and love to others is returned 2 times more blessings
Stop comparing yourself to others	You need to understand that each person is an individual. All are equal to each other. Find yourself, get out from under the persistent influence of others and start making your own choice. And you can only compare yourself with yourself from the past and strive to be better than the woman was yesterday
Respect your body and mind	It is to respect, not to worship. To respect the body means to maintain its health, not to eat junk food and alcohol, not to do everything that is harmful and adversely affects the general well-being. To respect your mind means to accept your thoughts, love yourself for these thoughts and not be afraid to express your own opinion, always think positively and not be distracted by unnecessary topics, develop spiritually and learn something new all the time.
Do not judge others and yourself	This is another way to rid your thoughts of negativity, which deprives you of energy. Judging others, a woman becomes more and more insecure, angrier and, of course, does not attract well-being and happiness into her life. Sooner or later, a person may find himself in the same situation as the one who was condemned, and the condemning person will need help.
If you don't like something, you need to change it, not tolerate it	Learning this lesson will help get rid of most of the problems. If in this situation you do not like the behavior of a person, then you need not tolerate it, but say it straight. The more a woman demands respect for her preferences, the more respect she will achieve for her personality.
Define your personal boundaries	It is important to show others what is acceptable for a woman and what is not, then people themselves will begin to adapt to her.
Reward yourself for success	For each achievement you need to pamper yourself with small gifts. This will serve as a motivation for your moral growth.
Don't complain or tolerate oppressive people	The more a girl complains about life, the more it causes pity, but not respect. By allowing negative thoughts, she attracts them materially into her life. The more problems in life, the more she starts to complain. And so in a circle. Not everyone likes this life. We need to stop negative attitudes towards life in ourselves and in others.
Take responsibility for your actions	Before complaining and blaming others, you need to think about what the person himself did in order to get into such a situation. By asking this question to himself and finding more and more answers, a person stops blaming others and takes full responsibility for his actions on himself.
Know your strengths	These should be strong qualities, for example, the ability to quickly find the right way out of a situation or ease in communicating with people. A woman can write out her positive qualities and virtues on a piece of paper and always remember and develop them.
Set yourself a goal that will set you in motion	When setting a goal, you must definitely do everything to achieve it, and after reaching it, treat yourself to a gift. In fact, it should be an essential goal. The larger it is, the more enthusiasm will be in achieving it, and having reached it, the question of self-doubt will disappear by itself.
Loving others for who they are	No need to try to change a person and adjust to your limits, you need to love and accept him as he is. And you should also remember that the environment is a reflection of yourself and before you change people, you need to change something in yourself.

Self Confidence Exercises

Psychologists have identified some of the most effective exercises that help a person develop self-confidence.

An exercise	Action
"Appearance"	Before you increase your self-esteem, you need to put your appearance in order. A new hairstyle and beautiful nails significantly increase your confidence in your irresistibility.
"Active communication"	The most effective method for increasing self-esteem is to go out to people. You need to choose the busiest street in the city and try to meet different people. At first, it will be incredibly difficult, but with each new acquaintance, a woman will feel inspired, which adds self-confidence. You need to learn to enjoy communication and admiring glances of the opposite sex.
"Relief from fears"	A woman must learn to say “no” to all her fears. It is necessary to boldly begin to do what a person is most afraid of. With this technique, he proves to himself that much is under his control and that he himself can control his life.
"Positive attitude"	Women need to learn how to smile. A smile helps to get out of a difficult situation and sets you up for positive. A person who is able to give a warm smile can turn the whole world upside down. You also need to program yourself only for positive thoughts, then a woman will become just a magnet for all that is good.
"Strengths"	It is necessary to act in those areas in which the woman is most strong. Set goals that match her capabilities. Develop your strengths and learn how to use them
"Relaxation"	You need to be able to relax. Meditations, relaxations are able to tune a person to the right atmosphere, clear thoughts. Nothing boosts self-esteem like mental clarity

How to raise self-esteem at different ages?

It is important for parents to develop self-esteem in a girl from an early age. They should let her know that she is a small person with her own free choice and the right to a good life. It is necessary to praise her for the right actions and explain what is bad and what is good. In no case should you humiliate the child and adjust to patterns. Bringing up in harmony will help the girl grow into a full-fledged healthy girl.

To increase self-esteem, a teenage girl needs the support and help of adults, as well as advice from psychology. Close people are able, thanks to their life experience, to give valuable recommendations and direct them on the right path.

To increase the self-esteem of an emotional and quick-tempered teenager, in no case should you put pressure on him. We must try to understand it. The child should feel that he is the pride of his parents and they will always give him help and support.

To build self-esteem in a young kopeck piece, she needs to stop comparing herself to other people. She will have to remember once and for all that she is an individual and a unique personality. You need to try as calmly and gently as possible to respond to compliments from strangers and get rid of the environment that depresses.

It is important to remember that love unites people. To love means to see a reflection of one's essence in each person. Giving people joy and love, a woman feels love and respect for herself.

doctorfeel.net

Life of a woman after 50: how to return the fire inside

Sex after 50 is

Despite the fact that in men after 50 sexual functions decrease somewhat, intimate life exists at any age, especially when a couple loves and wants each other.

The main thing to remember is that the psychological side of intimate relationships becomes important for men.

As for his physical form, his sex life will be at its best if you make some changes to your husband’s menu:

• A cup of cocoa without sugar once a day will improve the sensitivity of the entire skin in general;
• zinc, which is contained, for example, in beef steak, will increase libido;
• after eating - a piece of dark chocolate, which contains phenylethylamine, which increases sexual arousal in both men and women;
• nuts, seeds, black currants, various mixtures improve male potency.

With a decrease in attraction to each other, you can change the situation, try to talk more, learn new things about each other.

Signs that a man wants to have sex will not keep you waiting.

After 50 years, life is just beginning. Children have grown up, and this means that you can live for yourself. The most important thing is that the desire to move mountains should not be overshadowed by poor health, the cause of which is age-related changes. Find out what useful tips for women will help maintain health, beauty and attractiveness.

50 years: women's health

Each age period corresponds to a certain lifestyle. Women after 50 need to reconsider their daily routine, habits and life principles - everything that directly affects their health. To always feel fresh and cheerful, arm yourself with useful tips for women:

1. Give up alcohol and tobacco products, as they exacerbate the symptoms of menopause - headache, hot flashes, high blood pressure and general malaise.
2. Strictly follow the daily routine. Make a to-do list for the week ahead, don't forget to leave time for rest. After 50 years, it is not advisable for a woman to work for wear and tear.
3. Walk regularly. Cardiologists recommend walking at a brisk pace, while avoiding shortness of breath. Walking restores the tone of the vessels. Go to the park every day for 30-40 minutes. Ideally, if you can spend time outdoors in the evenings, just before bedtime.
4. Go to the gym to keep your muscles flexible and your bones strong. Hormonal changes in the female body lead to the fact that the bones become more fragile. Combine regular muscle-building workouts with taking special vitamins for women over 50. A muscle frame will protect and support bones and joints, and reduce unnecessary stress. Scientific studies have shown that strength training is the foundation of muscle building training. In order not to create excessive stress on the bones, seek the help of a trainer who will select the optimal training program based on body structure and weight. If you don’t have time to visit the fitness center, you can always arrange a workout at home.
5. Watch your diet and reduce the amount of meat in your diet. After 50, the metabolism slows down, and therefore women are at risk of gaining extra pounds. To maintain the attractiveness of the forms and prevent health problems, nutrition correction will allow. Women will not only have to reduce the calorie content of the diet, but also minimize the amount of red meat. Frequent consumption of beef and lamb accelerates the aging process in the body. But fruits and vegetables, on the contrary, produce a rejuvenating effect. Therefore, lean on cauliflower and Brussels sprouts, seafood, green grapes, soy, sesame and linseed oil.
6. Do not be nervous. Changes in the hormonal background lead to sudden mood swings that affect the appearance. To be cheerful, learn to resist stress. Walking, exercising in the morning and going to the gym are the most effective methods of dealing with longing, irritability and bad mood. Proved that physical exercise stimulate the production of endorphins, and the fresh air activates the production of serotonin. Give yourself a good mood and happiness by eating cheese, a banana or a handful of almonds - foods that synthesize the hormone of emotional control.
7. Go to bed early and rest at least 7-8 hours a day. Healthy sleep will help restore strength, fill the body with vital energy. The peak production of melatonin - the so-called youth hormone - falls on the time period from 11 to 12 pm. Therefore, experts recommend going to bed at this time.
8. Temper and periodically visit the bath. A short-term sharp change in temperature strengthens the nervous system, protects against stress.

Beauty: useful tips for women 50 years old

Beautiful women after 50 are not a myth, but a reality. The ability to choose the right image - to emphasize the charms of age, without trying to look younger due to defiant makeup and teenage outfits - is the key to success. Let's figure out how to dress a woman after 50 to look elegant. Place in your wardrobe the following things:

1. Midi skirts that cover the knees. A good style is pencil skirts with bright blouses and shirts, half-sun skirts with turtlenecks or light chiffon T-shirts.
2. Elongated knitted cardigans in a complex cut.
3. Sheath dresses in noble tones - black, marsala, brown, rich blue or swamp green.
4. Wide-leg pants with a high waistline or trousers with pleats.
5. Stretch jeans with a classic cut without sequins, embroideries and scuffs. The simpler, the better.

Be beautiful at home. A woman should always remain well-groomed and attractive, especially when she crosses the age mark of 50 years. Remember! Ripped robes, worn sweatpants and stretched T-shirts are taboo. Home clothes should be comfortable and beautiful. Think about what you will feel comfortable in and don't be ashamed to catch the eye of neighbors or unexpected guests.

For work, monophonic things of muted tones are suitable. Complete the look with scarves or jewelry.

Equally important in creating the perfect look is hair and makeup. As hair loses its natural shine and becomes less soft and manageable with age, help it look attractive. The stylist or hairdresser will advise the most suitable hairstyle for your face type. Among the most popular haircuts for women 50 short hairstyles prevail. Win-win options are:

1. Ultra-short pixies are the choice of confident, independent and active women.
2. Garzon is a unique combination of boyishness and femininity. Due to the graduation, the lack of clear lines, women can cope with styling such a hairstyle even at home.
3. Asymmetrical caret. The ideal length of this hairstyle for women over 50 is to the shoulder line or mid-neck.

As for hair color, choose natural shades that are close to your natural color, hide the first gray hair with light highlights.

Makeup after 50 is done in soft pastel colors - pink, coral or peach. In the arsenal of skin care products should be: anti-aging cosmetics, lifting products and whitening serums against age spots. The right approach will solve the problem of how to keep a woman young after 50 years.

Care rules

Changes in the hormonal background affect the skin - it becomes dry and less elastic. Proper facial care after 50 years at home will help prevent edema, tighten the oval of the face. Regular facial cleansing, skin moisturizing and regular massage will prolong youth.

In addition to home care, professional care is also required. Only cosmetologists will be able to soberly assess the type of skin aging, select the optimal program of cosmetic procedures. It is quite possible that your face will be “prescribed” plasmolifting or laser resurfacing - care aimed at stimulating collagen production.

Fifty is no reason to settle for age; this is an excuse to give yourself more time, to do appearance, health, review nutrition and habitual lifestyle. Love yourself and remember: youth is not what you see in the mirror, it is in the soul.

1. All it takes to have love is to be love.
2. Love does not require conditions.
3. This experience is absolute and perfect.

Let us examine in detail the question of how to develop self-love.

What is this term often confused with?

This concept has nothing to do with narcissism!

True self love is a natural and modest sense of self that you accept in yourself.

There is no pressure or effort involved.

Having this feeling:

• you are in harmony with yourself;
• you walk the world easily;
• feel confident in any situation;
• respect everything you do and everything you say.

It's such a down to earth and natural feeling.

Let's figure out where to start in order to love yourself completely and completely. Consider all 19 ways.

1. Realize that no one and nothing external will complete you, you are already self-sufficient

2. Accept yourself completely

Accept yourself the way you are

Love yourself in any manifestation and expression, in any verbal and non-verbal expression.

1. Love all your mistakes you made in the past.
   This is important because people often judge themselves, hate themselves and despise themselves for the things that have been done in the past.
2. At that moment in time and with that knowledge, that action was the most correct for you. Realize that you did those actions in the past that led to mistakes, because you thought at that moment that they would be the most correct for you.
   Of course, then you admit the mistake, but you love yourself with these mistakes and accept them.
3. Thanks to your mistakes, you are where you are now..
   They made you stronger and stronger. Implement this knowledge and no longer worry about how to learn to love and respect yourself.

When you no longer associate the word “acceptance” with weakness, you begin to live with ease and calmness that you have never seen before.

Accept all your flaws and love yourself with them: there is what is

Mantra for all occasions: “There is what is. And that's okay."

Example. I screwed up in front of people yesterday, I couldn't make a presentation and didn't prepare.

There is what is, and that's okay.

Use this phrase as practical advice on how to love yourself and stop self-flagellation.

What is the fine line which many people forget:

• This does not mean that you have now resigned yourself to the fact that you are a dull and boring creature and now you are always lying on the couch and doing nothing! No.
• You still strive to be the best version of yourself.
• You just don't judge yourself for your shortcomings.

3. You don't need a reason to love yourself.

You are self-sufficient and should love yourself for no reason.

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, then love will not be complete and complete, and doubts and reasons for the opposite immediately appear in your head. You don't need a reason.

As soon as you start thinking: “I love myself because…”, there are immediately reasons not to love yourself!

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, you find reasons to doubt!

You love yourself, period. Without a reason.

You are already self-sufficient and there is no reason to be otherwise.

Thanks to this realization, you will know everything about how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman or a man.

4. Stop putting people on pedestals and realize that everyone is equal

No one is better or worse than you.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and undermine your self-esteem.

Otherwise, you will get into an endless race with yourself and you will never solve your questions about how to love yourself and be a self-confident person.

Get out from under the influence of social programming. Be aware that.

Make a choice and allow yourself to be equal with everyone and experience inner lightness.

5. Never compare yourself to others

Comparing oneself to others always causes a feeling of lack of self-sufficiency and condemnation of oneself.

Never chase after others and do not strive to be what you are not!

Example. You look at your neighbor, how he lives successfully and how his business is flourishing, you compare it with your state of affairs, and you upset yourself and are loaded because of this comparison.

Comparing yourself to others gets in the way of self-acceptance.

You cannot be what you are not. You can't live someone else's life. No matter how hard you try, you'll be able to be a cheaper, duller version of the person you're chasing!

The best thing you can do is be yourself.

Don't try to be what you are not. Don't try to be like everyone else.

Be yourself and go beyond your limits, expand your comfort zone.

It often happens that unconscious girls compare themselves with each other. And as a result, then they are always competing with someone. It's like an endless wheel of suffering and chasing.

With this type of thinking, women's questions about how to love themselves and increase self-esteem in the psychology of perception will forever remain open.

With whom can you compare yourself?

The only person you should compare yourself to it's you yourself!

For example, what were you like yesterday and what are you today.

A fine line. Try to compare yourself with yourself NOT with regards to the results achieved, but with regards to the new knowledge and awareness received.

Ask yourself these questions daily:

• What have I become wiser than yesterday and what have I learned new?
• What lessons have I learned from today?
• Am I out of my comfort zone today?

Only such a comparison with oneself has a place to be.

If the answer is no, then you remind yourself of what you need to work on and where to strive.

6. Respect your body and your mind

Consider the sixth advice of a psychologist on how to love yourself.

Respect for your body and mind means that you love yourself as a spiritual person who is able to think and be aware, and you love your healthy body and take care of it.

Respecting your body means living a healthy lifestyle

How to respect your body:

1. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes and other harmful substances. You must love your body, and love for it is expressed by the fact that you do not stuff it with harmful smelling, alcoholic, inhaling things and do not undermine its health.
2. Develop your body, go to the gym. Feel the pain of muscle growth when it comes to understanding that the muscles are using their full potential and you are using them correctly. It's fine.
3. These feelings of developing the muscles of the body and eating the right food give you more confidence and lightness in the body. Appreciate your body for it.

People get drunk and live their lives this way because they hate themselves and don't know anything about how to learn to love and appreciate themselves.

Respect your mind and consciousness, do not stuff it with false information

What does this mean and how should it be implemented:

1. You don't have to watch trash on TV.
2. You need to think positively, have clear and distinct thoughts. Have pure thoughts. And then you will close your questions about .
3. You remove all negative thoughts that only hinder progress.
4. You need to develop your mind, explore new concepts, ideas, topics, look for better solutions.
5. Let your mind rest.
6. Meditate. You can read more about .
7. Show him that you respect him.

The implementation of these principles will be one of the main trump cards that close the question of how to start loving yourself.

7. Remove the negative grumpy granny in yourself, judging other people and yourself

Why you need to stop judging others and yourself

This will also be the main advice of a psychologist on how to love yourself for a woman after 50 or an elderly man.

But, alas, this bad habit is also found among the younger generation.

An example of how judging others limits you

1. For example, a man sings songs on the street with an accordion.
2. And you and your friend go through and start throwing mud at him: “Here, Chaliapin was found, there is no voice, there is nothing to do, let him go to the circus,” etc.
3. There comes a time when you already have to speak to people on the street and sing a song. But you begin to shake, you are tense and confidence is lost somewhere.
4. It is this grouchy grandmother, judging others, that limits you in your actions.
5. Never judge anyone. Both yourself and others.

The only thing you can blame yourself:

• Have I done my best?
• Did I do everything I could to get better?

8. If you don’t like something, then don’t endure it, act

You can verbally tell the person that you don't like it, or use facial expressions and gestures to show that you do not approve of it.

From childhood, your mother taught you to endure difficult situations and let them be.

It was the same at school. No need to be patient!

These are not necessarily words, they can be actions that stop what you do not like.

Example: The man smokes in the car. And you can't stand cigarette smoke and have never smoked. You immediately look for solutions to an unpleasant situation for you and say it out loud.

• I suggest that the person get out of the car and smoke on the sidelines.
• I'm talking about the fact that I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I'm allergic.
• I say that we will not be able to communicate with him until he stops smoking.

Implement this psychological technique and it will become easier to love yourself.

The more you solve unpleasant situations for you, the more love and respect for yourself will appear.

9. Have personal boundaries: what you accept in people and what you don't

Why it is important to have personal boundaries:

Example.

• I don't like it when a man sits on my neck.
• I do not like gossips, liars and hypocrites.
• Etc.

Also write your preference what you value and respect in people.

This way you will know what you want. You will know clear answers to questions from psychology about how to love and respect yourself.

10. When you achieve your goals, reward yourself in every possible way: for example, buy yourself sweets.

If you set a goal for yourself and realized it, please yourself with pleasant things.

How it helps you further:

• Thus, unconsciously, you reinforce in your head that achieving goals is doubly pleasant and tastier.
• There is more energy to achieve the goal.
• Buying something for yourself, rewarding yourself for the result - emphasizes it, causes natural love for yourself for the efforts and efforts made.

For example, I like to buy sweets for myself: chocolates, cake. To whom to taste. It's always nice.

Implement this and you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to start loving and respecting yourself.

11. Don't whine or let whiners cry into your waistcoat.

You are not a sponge and not a vest in which you can cry! Make it clear to everyone around you.

When you yourself whine next to people for life and for people, you just show them that they can also do the same to you.

Whining does not solve the problem in any way!

You don’t want to love a whiner, you want to love a strong personality!

How to stop whiners:

1. If the person next to you whines and complains about life, on people, pours out his soul to you and cries, ask him: “How will you solve your problem?”.
2. If he keeps whining, then he's not going to solve anything.. This means that a person just wants to feel needed for you, pour out his soul to you, feel your empathy.
3. Ask yourself: “Why do you need such people?”. Get rid of the whiners without a doubt, and you will already feel how you began to love yourself more for it.
4. Get the whiners out of your social circle, and around you there will be a strong and healthy ecosystem of emotions and only strong personalities around. No whiner will drag you down.

12. You create all situations yourself: take responsibility for yourself and your actions

How to learn it with a piece of paper and a pen

Apply this effective method from psychology on the topic of learning to love yourself in practice.

An example with a situation where a man had a fight with a man on the street

How did the person bring the situation to this point:

• I myself behaved too aggressively and emotionally.
• I myself called names and provoked a man.
• I could just leave at any moment.
• I was looking for my own adventure.
• I pushed the man first.
• I myself attracted the negative that I had been accumulating for a long time.

13. Know your strengths and unique values, write them down and remember them.

Know exactly what value you have, what attractive characteristics and qualities.

If you don't know this, you won't be able to develop self-love and dealing with people will be harder.

For example, it's great if while communicating with people, you, without even straining, bring such things as:

Whoever you are you already have value, if only because you are unique.

Write down your unique qualities in writing and remember them. This will help to cope with restless thoughts about how to learn to love yourself as a woman or a man.

Answer the following questions in writing:

1. What makes your personality attractive?
2. What are your hobbies, interests, hobbies?
3. What sensations do you give to people who are in your environment without trying and without making an effort?
4. How deeply can you express your interesting personality when interacting with other people?
5. How independent and free are you on the inside?

Values ​​are different for different people. As your personality develops, your values ​​may change.

Video on how to increase objective self-esteem

14. Trust yourself and your intentions more, act according to your desires

1. Say what you want.
2. If what you do comes from good intentions, trust them, do it and realize them!
3. Whatever your desires and intentions, act according to them.

Don't be afraid to show yourself what others don't want you to see! Because this is your life and you live for yourself, and not for others!

The more you trust yourself and act on your desires, the more you live the life you want.

Examples of how people limit themselves in life because of the opinions of others:

• Some people do not want to fully express themselves and their personality because they are afraid of offending other people.
• Some people don't want to dance because they're afraid of getting looks of disapproval or bringing smiles to the faces of others.

You can read an article on how to ignore other people's opinions and get rid of shyness.

15. Be more interested in yourself, do introspection, strive to be your best self

How to learn to love yourself and be a confident person

Stick to these principles, and you will no longer worry about how to learn to love life and yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What are your passions in this life?
• What excites and excites you?
• What kind of humor do you like?
• What kind of music do you like?

16. Set yourself a big goal that will excite and keep you awake, and realize it

1. Set yourself a goal that will excite you and keep you awake!
   Live this dream and make it a reality every day.
2. The more you set a goal for yourself, the more energy you have in your body to implement it and make it a reality.
3. If the goal is low and petty, then there will be so much energy.
4. Thus, on the way to a big goal, you will live an interesting life., there will be respect for yourself and a feeling that you are growing, and not standing still.

Remember the importance of the goal and you will close your questions about how to learn to love yourself and become an interesting person.

17. It's Important to Love Other People: Don't Try to Change Them

It is important to love and accept people for who they are.

Be aware of these principles, reread them occasionally, and don't worry about how to love yourself and other people too.

18. You don't have to be a super perfect person.

Our society, mass media and television inspire perfectionism and the desire to be super-ideal and correct.

Allegedly, you should have an ideal body, education.

In fact, no one wants to be perfect and correct!

Replace this desire with the desire to fully accept and love yourself in any manifestation and expression.

People want to be themselves.

Allow yourself and others to be who they are.

In this way, you will know everything about how to accept yourself and love.

19. Do not forget to respect yourself and just look neat

Enough to conform to your idea of ​​what is normal

To be in pretentious cool places, it is absolutely not necessary to have super expensive clothes.

To do this, it is enough to look appropriate to your idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat is normal.

Well, it is desirable, of course, to find out in advance about the requirements of the institution and comply with them. If there are no special requirements, then there is no need to comply with anything.

• It is very stupid to advise a person to always think positively.. This is tantamount to keeping in mind and forcibly clinging to some thoughts.
• Any condition is temporary and impermanent.. For all people, the state changes and there is no point in forcing a person to depend on the state and constantly chase after it.
• This does not mean that now you can be a vile evil grandmother. No.
• You gotta love yourself no matter what state you're in. Be congruent with yourself and love yourself in any manifestation.

This is where all the advice ends. Now you know everything about how to love yourself correctly and correctly interpret this concept.

Wise words

Love is the absence of separation and boundaries between people. This is when you are dissolved and see yourself in every person.

Loving all people is much more beautiful than loving yourself alone or just your partner.

Most of us perceive the age of 50 as a milestone, after which a full life ends. It seems that people who have crossed it lose intimacy and understanding with a loved one, motivation for development and joy from former hobbies disappear, and besides, chronic diseases overcome. In general, life is steadily moving towards its decline.

But it's not like that at all! Life after 50 is in no way inferior to life in 30 or 40 years. Of course, no one questions the carefree enthusiasm and optimism of twenty-year-old young people who are hatching grandiose plans for life, but you should not think that it all ends by the age of fifty.

Many scientific studies and sociological surveys lead to unexpected conclusions, namely, people who have crossed the 50-year mark perceive the world around them more positively. At this age, a person's life is stable and measured, he is confident in himself, he has no fears for himself and his future. In addition, a person over 50 is more stress-resistant and has excellent control over his own emotions, which is undoubtedly an advantage over younger people.

Add to this the fact that people over 50 are better at managing their own time, which means they have much more time to relax and do things that really bring pleasure. For example, it allows you to devote yourself to a hobby for which there was not enough time before, to fulfill an old dream, and in general, to look more creatively at the opportunities that life gives.

Youth gives us enthusiasm and energy, which, as it seems, is enough for 100 years to come. However, over the years, the fuse gradually fades away. But is it worth worrying about? Now you don't have to sacrifice yourself to get up early in the morning and sit in the office until midnight. There comes a period in your life when you can feel the true taste of life, postponing things for later.

All this, of course, allows us to perceive the 50-year milestone more positively. And if you still do not feel this, it is only because too many prejudices associated with your age have taken root in your head. We will talk about them in this article.

10 things to stop doing after 50

1. Diet

You turned 50, and you are still looking for the right diet on the Internet to lose a couple of pounds? Drop this idea. First of all, you must understand that at your age, diets simply do not work!

After 45 years in the body of men and women there is a decrease in the production of hormones, which inevitably leads to weight gain. But if you have been eating right before and have not allowed yourself to get fat, this failure will not cause you any extra trouble. At most, you will gain 5-7 extra pounds, which is considered the norm for the age of “over 50”. If you have previously eaten improperly, allowed yourself fast food and abused sweets, there is no doubt that diets have not helped you much before. So is it worth torturing your body now? Attempts to deny yourself your favorite food and starve do not lead to positive results, and in the long run, all the more, they will play a cruel joke with you and add a dozen extra pounds!

Don't forget about peace of mind. From unsuccessful attempts to lose weight with the help of diets, your mood will deteriorate, which will invariably affect your well-being and quality of life.

2. Paint over gray hair

Noticing the gray strands, women, and sometimes men, begin to think about how to hide this clear sign of approaching old age. But this is self-deception! Trying to hide gray hair looks ridiculous, because age makes itself felt in many other ways, including wrinkles and discoloration of the skin.

But the point is not even that painting over gray hair will not allow you to hide your age. The whole point is that you just can’t come to terms with changes in your own appearance, don’t love yourself the way you are here and now. And this is a sign of disharmony, which prevents you from being liberated and getting real pleasure from life.

That is why do not deny yourself the pleasure of dyeing your hair when you want to change your appearance and change your image, but you should definitely not hide gray hair on purpose and worry about the appearance of new gray curls.

3. Postpone important things for later

We have already mentioned that after 50 years there comes a period when you have time and opportunities to fulfill your old dream and do what you are really interested in. Now is the time when you can make your dream come true. So, don't put it off until later!

Perhaps you dreamed of visiting one of the distant countries? Maybe you have always wanted to become a farmer, learn a foreign language or build a cottage? Perhaps you dreamed of enrolling in dance courses or traveling around the world on a bicycle? Now that your kids are grown up and you have a stable job, there is every reason to devote your life to your loved ones and do what you really always gravitated towards.

And even if you have a job and you can’t devote the whole day to yourself, be sure to carve out 1-2 hours exclusively for your own hobby. Do not hesitate, your life will only become brighter and happier from this.

4. Be ashamed of your mistakes

There is a prejudice inside many of us that a person at the age of 50 is ashamed to show his ignorance, it is inconvenient to ask for advice from others, and even more so to make mistakes that others may notice. But in fact, this is nothing more than prejudice.

A person cannot know absolutely everything, and therefore it is completely normal to be ashamed of some questions in those areas in which you absolutely do not understand. Even if you are asking for advice from a person who is much younger than you. Moreover, the fact that you ask questions while mastering a computer, newfangled gadgets or a modern car indicates that you are willing to keep up with the times and constantly develop. And it cannot cause other emotions except admiration!

Moreover, when you are over 50, you can safely tell others about the mistakes, mistakes and delusions that you encountered when you were young. There is nothing shameful in this, because it was only after passing through these obstacles that you became who you are now. Is it worth it to be embarrassed? Tell it with a smile, because the ability to self-irony is an important quality for a person who is liberated and free from prejudice.

5. “Dedicate” yourself to children and grandchildren

The appearance of grandchildren is a golden time for grandparents. I want to be closer to my own kids, spend more time with them, show them the world around them in the brightest colors and give them a happy childhood. Next to your grandchildren, you yourself become much younger.

All this is true, but with one caveat. Don't dedicate your life to your grandchildren. You should have time to look after the baby and play with him, but at the same time you should not forget your own desires and aspirations. A happy family is one in which you are supported in the realization of your aspirations.

Finally, practice shows that grandparents who occasionally help their children to look after their grandchildren, but at the same time are busy with their own development, receive, in the end, more gratitude than those who give their grandchildren all of themselves and all their time.

6. Repeat the past

By the age of 50, you have already accumulated enough experience and knowledge to do the usual work “on the machine”. But there is not much to be proud of here. The fact is that neural connections in the brain are not restored by themselves - the brain needs constant stimulation, and for this it is necessary to set new tasks for it as often as possible.

To do this is quite simple. If you are used to driving or going to work on a certain route, change it, let your brain find a new optimal path. If you've been breaststroke all your life, learn a new style of swimming. In fact, it is not so important what exactly you puzzle your brain with, it is important that new tasks are set before it, with which it will successfully cope. In this regard, learn something new that you have never done before. Remember, after 50, keeping your brain active is just as important as staying physically active.

7. Worry about what others think

By the age of 50, it's time to stop paying attention to what they say behind your back. You have already lived long enough to understand that all these gossip and gossip only affect the one who pays attention to them. You have already formed your own vision of the world, your own views on fashion and hobbies, and therefore worrying about whispering behind your back, and even more so worrying that your behavior will be condemned, is at least stupid.

After fifty years, there comes a special time - the time of emancipation, when it should become completely unimportant to you what people will say. Do you want to wear a mini skirt? Would you like to go to a nightclub and "break away" as in your youth? Or maybe you are still embarrassed to remind someone of this promise or unreturned money? Allow yourself whatever you really desire and be honest about what you really care about! Believe me, understanding this makes life a lot easier.