As mentioned above, among the calls received by the Hotline in connection with emergencies, there are those that contain an explicit or hidden request for psychological assistance. The mode of operation of the Hot Line does not always imply the possibility of in-depth processing of these requests due to objective circumstances (the Hot Line employs specialists who do not have a psychological education; in the first hours of the Hot Line, when the main request is informational, a very large number of number of hits). However, in any case, the identification and recognition of such requests is the responsibility of the Hot Line employee, and working with them is the responsibility of a psychologist.

Persons experiencing acute grief, loss.

Persons experiencing fear and anxiety for the physical or emotional state of the injured relative/relative.

Persons who have received information that their relatives/relatives are listed as missing or have conflicting and insufficient information about the fate of their loved ones.

Persons who have received information that their relatives/relatives located in the emergency zone cannot be provided with immediate assistance.

Persons with relatives who have lost their relative/relative or who are not yet aware of the death of their relative/relative.

Persons who have experienced psychological trauma due to their presence at the scene of an emergency at the time of its occurrence (among them may be those who received minor physical injuries, as well as witnesses and eyewitnesses of the incident).

Persons experiencing strong negative consequences of emergencies, expressed in the appearance of pronounced phobic and depressive reactions, panic attacks and other psycho-emotional problems.

Persons experiencing the loss of property, forced relocation, relocation, a significant deterioration in living conditions in the absence of information about resources and opportunities to overcome vital problems.

Counseling clients in emergency situations.

If a person who has recently experienced an extreme situation contacts the emergency psychological help line, the following approaches can be recommended to the consultant in working with such a subscriber:

Encourage the client to talk about their feelings.

Don't expect a man to handle trauma better than a woman.

Remind the client that their feelings are normal. Give information about normal reactions to a stressful situation.

Do not try to assure the client that everything will be fine - this is impossible.

Don't try to force your explanations on the client as to why things happened.

Try to convince the client that it doesn't matter why he got into this situation, what matters is that he got out of it (transition from the category of "victim" to the category of "hero").

Don't tell the client that you know what he's going through.

Be prepared not to speak at all. It may be sufficient to simply "be with the client".

Don't be afraid to ask how the person deals with trauma. But don't ask questions about the details of the injury. If the client talks about it, listen to him. The best thing you can do in this situation is to follow the client.

Subscribers experiencing the negative consequences of emergencies, manifested in the occurrence or exacerbation of psychological problems, should be advised to seek further face-to-face consultation with a specialist.

Example

In connection with the explosion in the subway car, which occurred as a result of a terrorist act, a woman who was in the next car at the time of the explosion called at the main line. She asked for help to overcome her fear of her upcoming subway ride tomorrow. The woman said that she had to pass through the station at which the explosion occurred almost daily and now she is considering possible options for using land transport. But it will make it very difficult for her. The subscriber complained that the thought of the need to travel by metro seized her with fear that she could not control, although she did not reject reasonable arguments that it makes no sense to expect a repetition of the explosion. The woman asked the Hotline specialist to recommend to her what she could do to reduce her fear. Since the subscriber was aware of the irrationality of her own fear reaction and well understood the reason for its occurrence, the Hot Line specialist discussed with her the features of the manifestation of her fear reaction in connection with the general patterns of manifestation of such reactions, which have both positive and negative influence of the fact of having the ability to experience fear. He also gave practical recommendations aimed at creating several options for her plan of action in case fear arises at the time of a trip to the subway, so that the subscriber could be aware of her own freedom to choose a predetermined practical method and thus feel that she can influence the situation of occurrence fear, control it. Also, the Hotline specialist recommended that the woman seek an in-person consultation if her problem persists for a long time. If the subscriber felt fear at the time of the call, the Hotline specialist would have to choose a different strategy, as well as if the subscriber was already experiencing a psychological or psychiatric problem, exacerbated by the emergency.

Witnesses, third-party observers, people who are not directly related to the emergency, but who learned about it from the media, may also experience experiences similar to those of the direct participants in the events and need psychological help. In working with them, it is advisable to use the same methods and approaches.

Subscribers who witnessed the events of an emergency, or who received minor injuries and returned home after receiving outpatient care, as a rule, indicate a direct request for psychological help themselves if they feel the need for it. Sometimes their relatives may call with such a request. If it is not possible to provide psychological assistance to such subscribers in a face-to-face meeting, you need to provide assistance by phone. If possible, you should first determine the severity of the negative emotional state of the subscriber. Any expression is the best reaction from such subscribers. In some cases, it is enough just to listen to him, but sometimes it is necessary to discuss with him his current emotional experiences and what he can do with them now and in the future to alleviate his condition. In some cases, such a subscriber should be referred for face-to-face consultation and such an opportunity should be arranged for him.

Example

A young woman called the hotline, which was opened in connection with an explosion at the airport as a result of a terrorist act. She asked to listen to her and said that she was in an overwhelmed emotional state. The woman said that at the time of the explosion, her 7-month-old son and elderly mother were separated from her and she, without seeing them, assumed that they had died, based on the fact that she left them to wait in the exact place where the explosion occurred. By a happy coincidence, the elderly woman, tired of standing, stepped aside with her child to sit down, and this happened just before the explosion. During that time, while the young woman, having heard the explosion, returned to the place where she left her loved ones, she experienced a strong emotional shock. She found her mother and son alive and well, but the effects of the emotional upheaval appeared after she and her family returned home. The young woman needed to communicate with the Hot Line specialist, since she could not calm down on her own.

The Hotline specialist listened to the young woman, the story of her experiences and feelings in connection with what had happened, asking questions as the subscriber described the circumstances of the situation. Since the subscriber behaved expressively and fully stated everything that she felt and experienced, then at the end of communication with the Hot Line specialist, she managed to come to thoughts and feelings leading to an understanding of the situation. Her emotional state became more balanced.

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Bibliography

1. Description of one of the cases of counseling from a literature review (from the experience of Abramova G.S. "Psychological counseling. Theory and experience" - M., 2000)

Counseling example	Description of the technique and techniques used
1. A man of average pleasant appearance came to the consultation and my question, what brought you to me, he answered like this: “Check me, am I normal?”. Frankly, I was very surprised by this request.	In the course of the conversation, using unobtrusive and mild language, I found out what brought him to me "someone else's opinion", that is, the social attitudes of the people around the client who told him that he was constantly doing something wrong. To assist Abramova G.S. used well-known psychotechnics (drama dilemma) to form the client's adequate self-esteem, self-confidence, leveling the negative impact of others.
2. I had to listen to the story of a 30-year-old woman who said that her husband can not stand her idleness when she reads a book, watches TV or talks on the phone. “He believes that all this time has been wasted, that the family needs time to devote to household chores, caring for loved ones ....”.	The situation is quite common in many families. The main methods of work: this is a conversation with spouses separately, a conversation in pairs, various group and individual trainings that simulate situations of family life in which both spouses participate.
3. A common problem "Parents and children": "why did he move away from me? He doesn't love me, I guess." - so the mother of an 11-year-old son told me at the reception.	As a psychological help to this family, I used the holding therapy technique, which is aimed at bringing mother and child closer together, leveling the emotional alienation of children from their parents, says Abramova G.S.

2. Protocol of a simulated consultation according to the scheme

1 married couple took part in psychological counseling:

Counseling Scheme

Stages of the consultative process	The course of the conversation		Difficulties possible errors	Ways to solve difficulties, solutions	Reflection
Establishing rapport	"Hello, make yourself comfortable, I'm listening to you carefully." With these words, the psychologist carefully and friendly looks into the eyes of the client, openly smiles if the meeting is repeated.	Goodwill, psychological attitude towards the client	Possible difficulties are related to the fact that the psychologist cannot immediately tune in to the client.	For a positive attitude, you can use the techniques of easy dialogue to win over the client and tune in to him.
Subjective Statement of Complaint	Client: “I have problems with my husband, we don’t understand each other, it seems to me that he is not interested in me, we often quarrel”	active listening, Attentive attitude to the client, interest in his problem
Problem Analysis	Counseling Psychologist: “What made you doubt your relationship with your husband?” Let's try to figure it out together."	Psychodiagnostic methods (Test "Do you understand each other?" Test for the level of conflict Test "Are you satisfied with your marriage?" Thomas' test Projective technique: "House - tree - man" accompanied by a conversation between a consultant and a client	Difficulties arise in the accuracy of determining the client's problem, for this a number of techniques are used.	An alternative option for conducting techniques may be a series of preliminary meetings with the client, for a more detailed acquaintance with his problems.
Problem Definition	According to the tests, the client has an average degree of mutual understanding and significant dissatisfaction with the marriage. The subsequent technique confirms these data and provides additional information about the subject. The subject experiences difficulties in contact with other people, while she needs love, warmth. Hence the anger, hopelessness, anxiety. There is a conflict	The problem is determined by the test results.	Difficulties may be associated with the inaccuracy of the test methods performed by one of the subjects. Methods may not be valid.	Alternatively, a series of preliminary meetings can be proposed.
Working through the problem	Conducting a conversation with one of the spouses. Establishing contact, collecting information not only about the conflict, but also about both of its participants, their interests, positions, relationships. During the conversation, it turns out: the range of problems to be discussed, resolved during the consultation; determination of the desired result; reaching an agreement on the procedure for dealing with a conflict situation, including reliving it again. Conversation with the second spouse. There may be problems in establishing contact, passivity or great assertiveness. The tasks are the same and plus: to encourage the other half to be more active or restrained in expressing their emotions, feelings; remove the barrier against the mediator, since it was not this spouse who was the first to consult, then there may be distrust, suspicion, an accusation of bias. During a joint consultation, the mediator comes into contact with both spouses, outlining the range of identified problems, discusses the rules of conduct for the spouses and the procedure for working on problems. When agreement is reached, they move on to the main part of the negotiations. During the main part, the mediator displays the problems in portions, discussing them: he reacts to any positive steps, actions of the spouses; pays equal attention to both spouses; attracts spouses to moments of unity and harmony.	The psychologist acts as a "mediator"	The difficulty in solving this problem is to help the spouses choose the right style for getting out of the conflict situation. This couple was offered two styles of behavior - the style of avoidance is used in a situation where the subject is unsure of a positive solution to the conflict for him, or when he does not want to spend energy on solving it, or in cases where he feels wrong and the style of adaptation is characterized by that the subject acts jointly with others, not seeking to defend his own interests. He yields to his opponent and resigns himself to his dominance. This style should be used when you feel that you have little to lose by giving in. In the case of using a device, the subject seeks to develop a solution that satisfies both parties.	As an alternative option, this pair was offered the Collaboration Style - by implementing it, the subject actively participates in conflict resolution, while defending their interests, but trying, together with another subject, to look for ways to achieve a mutually beneficial result, solve the problem and Compromise style - manifests itself in the fact that both sides of the conflict are looking for a solution to the problem based on mutual concessions.
Completion	The final stage is reached only when an agreement is reached on a number of issues, the spouses came to a consensus.		Difficulties are manifested in the fact that the problem may not be fully resolved.	A counseling psychologist can schedule a follow-up meeting, for example, after 1-2 months.

3. Minutes of self-consultation

The purpose of counseling is to establish the attitude of test-takers to professional stressful situations. To do this, we conducted an interview in the form of a conversation, the questions for which were developed taking into account the specifics of our problem. Number of clients - 3 people. The interview was conducted with each individual for each consultation session, 15-20 minutes were allotted.

Protocol 1. Subject's code: R.N.V., 27 years old Date: 06.10.06.

Item No. of the question	Respondent's answers		Note
			During the conversation, the interviewee reluctantly answered a number of questions, before answering he analyzed his family situation, was indignant at the behavior of the unfair attitude of his superiors
3. Are you a nervous person?		relaxed posture
		The respondent is calm and relaxed
		The face is thoughtful, the nervous movement of the hands
		relaxed posture
7 Do you like your job?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
		The face is thoughtful, the nervous movement of the hands
		relaxed posture
		The respondent is calm and relaxed

Processing and interpretation of the results: according to the results, it can be concluded that anxiety is the dominant emotional experience of stressful situations in this subject.

Protocol 2. Subject code: D.O.N., aged 22. Date: 07.10.06.

Item No. of the question	Respondent's answers	Behavior (verbal, non-verbal)	Note
1. Do you often experience stress at work?		The respondent is calm and relaxed	During the conversation, the interviewee willingly answered a number of questions, before answering he thought for a long time and weighed his answer.
2. Do you often suffer from insomnia?		relaxed posture
3. Are you a nervous person?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
4 Do you often have conflicts with your superiors?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
5 Do you feel like you've been wronged unfairly?		relaxed posture
6. Do you often get reprimanded?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
7 Do you like your job?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
8 Do you think your job is dangerous?		relaxed posture
9 You are a conflict person, aren't you?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
10. Do you deal with setbacks easily?		The respondent is calm and relaxed

Processing and interpretation of the results: based on the results, it can be concluded that the interviewee adequately responds to stressful situations in the workplace.

Protocol 3. Subject's code: F.A.Yu., 40 y.o. Date: 07.10.06.

Item No. of the question	Respondent's answers	Behavior (verbal, non-verbal)	Note
1. Do you often experience stress at work?		The respondent is calm and relaxed	During the conversation, the interviewee willingly answered a number of questions, before answering he analyzed his family situation.
2. Do you often suffer from insomnia?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
3. Are you a nervous person?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
4 Do you often have conflicts with your superiors?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
5 Do you feel like you've been wronged unfairly?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
6. Do you often get reprimanded?		relaxed posture
7 Do you like your job?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
8 Do you think your job is dangerous?		The respondent is calm and relaxed
9 You are a conflict person, aren't you?		relaxed posture
10. Do you deal with setbacks easily?		The respondent is calm and relaxed

Processing and interpretation of the results: according to the results, it can be concluded that this subject is hard to endure stressful situations at work.

General conclusions:

Analysis of the results of the interviews allowed us to draw the following conclusions:

R.N. V. - Anxiety is the dominant emotional experience of stressful situations in this subject.

DON. - that the interviewee adequately responds to stressful situations in the workplace.

F.A.Yu. - we can make a hypothetical conclusion that this subject has a hard time enduring stressful situations at work.

I believe that the interview I conducted was generally successful, as I was able to get the answers I was interested in on this issue. But still, for more professional interviewing, I need more experience and practice.

Further, in order to provide psychological assistance to clients, I conducted a corrective stage of the conversation, which took place in the form of a group training, since the problems of three clients are the same - the lack of formation of stress resistance defense mechanisms in the workplace.

Corrective work was built in three directions:

1. reduction of tension associated with excessive anxiety, anxiety.

2. development of constructive ways of behavior in professional situations;

3. overcoming psychotrauma, traumatic consequences;

In accordance with the above directions, our classes were built, each of which consisted of three parts of the corresponding content:

Self-regulation of mental state;

Developmental and educational orientation;

Analysis of the event underlying the psychotrauma.

The program is designed for seven hours, taking into account 30 minutes per week for one group.

This content is reflected in certain exercises - relaxation, auto-training, discussion of an anonymous story, game and learning techniques. Participation in such procedures allowed the members of the group to simultaneously act both as an active participant and as an observer, provides an opportunity for emotional experience, intellectual analysis, and training of certain types of behavior.

Personally-oriented psychological counseling in PTS can be carried out in two main forms - individual and group, each of which has its own potential.

When a person feels accepted and understood, then there is an improvement when we sincerely listen and show respect for the person's ability to find his own answer. It is these moments of acceptance and understanding that heal, and it does not matter if they come in a group or alone with a psychologist.

An important aspect of psychological assistance is the promotion of the fullness of a person's experiences. Only if this or that experience is felt in all its depth and in all its volume, it can become alive, free and transforming.

The personality-oriented approach in counseling is aimed not so much at the knowledge of objective circumstances ("things", "forces", "conditions", etc.) and even not so much people's thoughts and actions, but at the knowledge of deep experiences, emotions and feelings. This approach allows you to perceive another person as a person capable of choosing his own direction in life.

The meeting in the group is structured in such a way that the consultant leads the person in need of help to take responsibility for solving his life problems. This is facilitated by a warm emotional atmosphere of communication, interested empathic listening, and the establishment of close interpersonal relationships.

The effectiveness of the use of counseling is:

1. in the development of modifications of the behavioral stereotype;

2. in the acceptance by a person of responsibility for the development of adequate behavior in a stressful situation, a change in attitude to the event underlying the psychic trauma;

3. influencing a person's personality, making it less vulnerable to PTS.

The program of remedial classes conducted by us with this group of clients is reflected in the table

stress psychological counseling

Thematic lesson plan on the formation of stress resistance

class number	Purpose of the exercise	an exercise	Number of hours
Lesson one.	Establishing contact	conversation-acquaintance
	working through a traumatic event, obtaining information about oneself in the perception of others, emotional support.	Discussion stories #1
	Reducing tension, mastering your emotions, regulating muscle tone	autotraining
Lesson two.	Give an idea of ​​the impact that psychotrauma has on the human psyche.	Providing information about psychotrauma
	see goal in lesson #1	Discussion of story #2
	mastering the skills of managing your body and psyche, reducing tension	Anti-stress relaxation
	Achieving balance physically and emotionally; awareness of your individual style of application of force	push me game
	see goal in lesson #1	Discussion of story #3
	Reduction of nervous and mental overstrain, control of one's mood, exercise of the ability to concentrate	concentration
Lesson four.	Self-analysis of your mental state	"continue" phrases
	see goal in lesson #1	Discussion of story #4
	mastering your emotions reducing tension	breathing exercises
	developing empathy, interest in other people, increasing the importance of others	conversation "people around me"
	see goal in lesson #1	Discussion of story #5
	mastering the skills of managing your body and psyche, emotions; tension reduction
	finding positive and neutral in negative situations	positive and neutral revaluation
	see goal in lesson #1	Discussion of story #6
	Reducing tension associated with excessive anxiety, anxiety	autotraining
	control your mood, exercise the ability to focus	concentration exercise
	see goal in lesson #1	Discussion of story #7

Description of the methods and exercises used:

Discussion of the history of one of the members of the group.

The psychologist suggests discussing an anonymous story experienced by one of the members of the group, during the conversation everyone expresses their points of view on the problem of this person, assess its complexity, and then jointly find ways out of it.

The very fact of helping another also has an important psychological significance, leading to an increase in self-esteem, faith in one's own strengths and the formation of a more positive attitude towards oneself and life.

So, for example, client D.O.N. took an active part in the discussion of all the stories and empathized with other members of the group, which facilitated the process of self-exploration and self-discovery towards the true Self. By helping others, he himself found a way out of the impasse in which he found himself. He tried to understand and adequately express both his own experiences and the experiences of his partners in interpersonal communication.

Film methodology.

Purpose: reassessing impressions of a traumatic event.

At first, a person must imagine the fire as a movie with his participation. Relive all the details. Then imagine yourself as a spectator of the same film, evaluate everything from the outside. And, finally, to enter the image of a projectionist who is tired of this movie, because he scrolls it a hundred times a day. It's time to put the tape on the shelf. Thus, a person goes through several stages. The first is horror, on the second comes calm, and on the third there is a desire to get rid of the annoying picture. Yes, it was. But we must live on.

So, F.A.Yu., who took part in individual counseling, together with a psychologist ended up in a “cinema” and began to watch a film about a fire. He managed to present himself as a spectator only from the third lesson, because. the client was under a strong impression of the event and could not switch to the role of a spectator, constantly presenting himself as a participant.

Positive and neutral revaluation.

The task should be treated with humor and lightness. Make a list of five negative qualities inherent in a person, or of five negative phenomena. Then try to find the positives in it. It's not bad to bring the matter to the point of absurdity: the killer is a volunteer assistant to the government of a developing country, which is engaged in the regulation of population; fire - an event that contributes to the restructuring of something not in words, but in deeds, etc.

This game can be played seriously. Write down on paper the essence of five situations that may or have taken place in your life, which you are afraid of and the consequences of which can be simply unpleasant or dramatic for you.

So, R.N.V. turned out to be a person with a good sense of humor and came up with a number of humorous situations, thereby setting up the group for a positive perception of negative situations, which even turned into a kind of competition: who is more?; the presentation of the situation, which the members of the group feared, was not accompanied by drama and depression, but rather by a neutral or positive assessment.

Group conversation "People around me".

During the conversation, it is proposed to come up with and say kind and sympathetic words to your neighbor.

It was noticed that almost all the words spoken to your neighbor were meant, as it were, to yourself. For example, F.A.Y., whose face was badly injured in a rescue operation to remove people from a fire, said to his neighbor: “Maybe now you are not in shape, but everything passes with time, you will again become beautiful, healthy and almost You won't remember what happened."

Anti-stress relaxation.

1) Lie down (in extreme cases, sit down) comfortably in a quiet, dimly lit room; clothing should not restrict movement.

2) Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply. Inhale and hold your breath for about ten seconds. Exhale slowly, watch the relaxation and slowly say to yourself: “Inhale and exhale, like an ebb and flow.” Repeat this procedure five or six times. Then rest for about twenty seconds.

3) With an effort of will, contract individual muscles or their groups. Hold the contraction for up to ten seconds, then relax the muscles. Thus, walk all over the body. At the same time, carefully monitor what happens to him. Repeat this procedure three times, relax, do not think about anything.

4) Try to imagine as concretely as possible the feeling of relaxation penetrating you from bottom to top: from the toes through the calves, thighs, torso to the head. Repeat to yourself: “I am calming down, I am pleased, nothing disturbs me.”

5) Imagine that the feeling of relaxation pervades all parts of your body. You feel the tension leave you. Lie still like a rag doll.

6) Count to ten, mentally telling yourself that with each successive number, your muscles will relax more and more.

7) "Awakening" is coming. Count to twenty. Say to yourself, “When I count to twenty, my eyes will open and I will feel refreshed.”

So, R.N.V. after three relaxation exercises, he said: “I used to be very worried and worried about many events and didn’t know how to stop this excitement, how to calm down, now it’s easier for me to do it, because. when excited, I remember the state of relaxation that I received here, I begin to breathe calmly and deeply, and the excitement passes by itself.

concentration exercises.

1. Sit on a stool or regular chair - only sideways to the back so as not to lean on it. In no case should the chair be with a soft seat, otherwise the effectiveness of the exercise will decrease. Sit as comfortably as possible so that you can remain still for a certain amount of time.

2. Place your hands freely on your knees, close your eyes (they must be closed until the end of the exercise so that attention is not distracted by foreign objects - no visual information).

3. Breathe through your nose calmly, not tensely. Try to focus only on the fact that the air you breathe in is colder than the air you breathe out.

4. And now two options for concentration exercises:

a) concentration on the account.

Mentally count slowly from 1 to 10 and focus on this slow count. If, at some point, your thoughts begin to dissipate and you become unable to concentrate on the count, start counting from the beginning. Repeat the count for several minutes.

B) concentration on the word.

Choose a short (two-syllable is best) word that evokes positive emotions in you or that has pleasant memories associated with it. Let it be the name of a loved one, or an affectionate nickname that your parents called you in childhood, or the name of your favorite dish. If the word is two-syllable, then mentally pronounce the first syllable on the inhale, the second on the exhale.

At the conclusion of the psychological counseling organized by us on the problems of forming stress resistance to professional stressful situations, we achieved that the clients developed a sense of reflection, a mentally neutral perception of stress at work. Therefore, our consultation can be considered successful.

Bibliography

1. Abramova G.S. Psychological counseling. - M.: Vlados, 2000. - 356s.

2. Abramova G.S. Psychological counseling. Theory and experience - M, 2000 - 240 p.

3. Bowen M.V. Spirituality and personality-centered approach // Issues of psychology. 1992. No. 3-4. pp. 43-52.

4. Vasilyuk F.E. Psychology of experiences. - M.: Nauka, 1984. - 427 p.

5. Vilyunas V.K. Psychology of emotional phenomena. - M.: Nauka, 1976. - 254 p.

6. Group psychotherapy / Edited by B.D. Karvasarsky, S. Leder. - M.: Medicine, 1990. - 468s.

7. Kopiev A.F. Psychological counseling: the experience of dialogical interpretation // Questions of psychology. 1990. No. 3. pp.47-54.

8. Petrovskaya L.A. Theoretical and methodological problems of socio-psychological training. - M.: Logos, 1982. - 245 p.

9. Workshop on General, Experimental and Applied Psychology: Proc. allowance / Edited by A.A. Krylova, S.A. Manichev. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2001. - 557p.

10. Tarabrina N.V. Workshop on the psychology of post-traumatic stress. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2001. - 211s.

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FINAL WORK ACCORDING TO THE COURSE

« PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING: FROM DIAGNOSTICS TO WAYS TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM»

1. Description of the child— Anna K.

Age 11, gender - female, class - 5 "A".

Family composition: father, mother, daughter aged 16 and daughter aged 11.

Social status - high.

The main problem: the aggravated course of the age crisis.

This problem manifests itself in the child's behavior in the form of conflicts with classmates.

2. meeting initiative.

The parent came himself and formulated the reason for the meeting as follows: “The girl grew up and conflicts with peers began. There are no conflicts at home. She is vulnerable, not greedy. There is a sister with whom they quarrel, and then reconcile.”

3 . The room where the consultation was held was a separate office, with a table by the window. At the table there is a chair and a chair in front of the table. The psychologist and the parent sat on chairs at the table. The distance between them is about 70-80cm

4. Description of the consultation.

Establishing contact with the parent through greeting and introducing yourself, a brief description of the counseling process, and communication of the principle of confidentiality. The educational achievements of the child were also noted.

The parent was given the opportunity to speak out: “Tell me, please, what worries you about the child’s behavior?” During the listening, the techniques of pause, passive listening with verbal components, questioning, paraphrase and generalization were applied.

At the end of the parent’s story, she was asked the question “how do you feel when you are now telling me about this?” and, thus, the client's feelings and experiences were legalized (anxiety, concern for the relationship with the daughter, fear of a decrease in the daughter's academic performance, fear of a possible confrontation between the daughter and classmates, etc.).

Then an analysis of the content of the problem was made. The difficulty was in the conflicts that arose with classmates, which had not happened before, since the girl is calm, “more mature than her years.” The parent found out that her daughter does not talk everything about what is happening to her at school. She turned to a psychologist, as complaints began to come from the class teacher about her daughter's behavior, and she herself feels that it has become more difficult for her to communicate with her daughter.

This situation arose at the beginning of this school year, when Anya moved to the 5th grade. Locus of complaint: The client identified the greatest difficulty as “she can’t hear me.”

Self-diagnosis: Mom attributes problems to difficult adaptation to a new school when she entered it in the 4th grade, when the girl was “new” and often endured bullying from some girls from this class.

The primary formulation of the problem and request is that the child sometimes does not hear what the mother requires of him, the girl began to behave more aggressively towards some classmates.

Analytical step. The parent was explained that the difficulties he described could be caused by various reasons and the next step in the work would be to identify these reasons. At the end of the meeting, the client was asked to meet in a few days, to diagnose the relationship of the parent to the teenager and the teenager to the parent (the "Unfinished Sentences" technique), to observe the girl over the next week, meet and talk with her, as well as the final meeting upon completion of these activities with the parent.

The problem that worries the client could be caused by the following factors: the child is not satisfied with the nature of interaction with peers and adults (some classmates and some family members). As a result of the consultation, I put forward a diagnostic hypothesis about the parent's misconceptions about the patterns of child development and ineffective ways of interacting with the child. The parent was asked to get acquainted with the features of adaptation during the transition to the 5th grade, as well as the features of adolescence.

organizational level. In working with a teenager and a parent, the method "Unfinished sentences for parents and teenagers" (see Appendix 1, 2), a diagnostic meeting with a teenager, observing the behavior of a girl at school, and a conversation with her class teacher were used.

Next, there was a discussion of the results of the diagnostic stage, at which the client formulated a new request - how to properly communicate with the youngest daughter? During the meeting, an informing technique was used, the purpose of which is to increase the psychological competence of the client (features of adolescence). Recommendation technique was also used. The recommendations were formulated in the form of rules for communicating with a teenager (see Annex 3).

Attachment 1

Scales	parent about teenager	teen about mom	Similarity in perception of each other
"Open"	“I want everything to work out in her life”, “I want to be a leader”, “I like to be the first”	“thinks of me”, “very short-tempered and a little “psycho””, "gets upset"	Daughter does not always understand the reasons for mom's emotions
Comparative assessment	"older than his years" “.. behaves constrainedly if he sees an advantage in something from a peer”	"kinder, more for me does something, respects me ... as if ... "President"", "begins to behave differently" (demanding and strict if they are in public - approx.)	There is mutual understanding, and yet the daughter does not understand the "change" in the mother's behavior when strangers
Significant characteristics	"kindness", "theatrical skill"	“smart and fair (sometimes not very, in my opinion)”, “the most, the most, the most, the best”	Mutually acceptance
Positive Features	“listens to me and understands”, “kindness towards relatives, sympathy”	“she doesn’t get sick and ... everything works out, and when we don’t quarrel”, “her kindness to me, ... Everything (like - approx.)”
Perfect Expectations	“I was happy”, “I achieved my goal”, “I did more sports”, “I studied well”	“she paid more attention to me, rather she treated me better”, “to act in some kind of film”, “became calmer”, “rather strict”
Possible fears, concerns	“confusion, excessive trust in people, intemperance, jealousy of a sister”, “something might happen (get sick)”, “everything was fine, understanding”	“a little irritable”, “I can get lost somewhere and “break” mom and dad’s heart”, “mom never had a backache and everything else”
Real Requirements	“more attention to reading”, “sometimes it’s rude to me to answer (calmly answered)	“she paid attention to me and when I was doing modeling or theater she took it seriously (be interested in the course of her classes and success in them, talk with these teachers - approx.)"," stopped screaming "	Emphasis on mutual confrontation when expressing negative emotions, demand from the daughter of interest in her activities
Causes of difficulties	“does not hear me”, “when she watches films for a long time”, “indecision and absent-mindedness”	“something doesn’t work out for me”, “sometimes, if it seems to me that she loves my sister more than me”, “be calm-her”	Jealousy for the sister, the need for a more patient and less expressive attitude towards the daughter; the mother would like to see the teenager more accommodating and obedient.
Anamne- static data	“was not deprived of attention”, “was more active”, “transition to 4th grade”	“I was always made fun of, laughed at and loved”, “many boys liked her, she was not rude to my grandmother ... she studied well”
Interests, preferences	"theatrical skills, modeling agency, loves to read poetry", "cooking, receiving friends when they pay a lot of attention to her, praise", "agree with me, although not immediately"	“my studies and mood”, “everything works out for me”, “so that everything is fine with Masha and leave when I get married with me in Paris”
Mutually action "I am We"	"doing what we both like", "very close in a relationship", "good"	"in agreement", "like real" do not spill water girlfriends "and like little children who constantly play with each other", “very good, sometimes we quarrel a lot with her, but there is always a HAPPY END (thought up yesterday after a strong quarrel)”

Annex 3

PROBLEM - "My child does not HEAR me."

Rule 1. When addressing a child, speak less, not more. In this case, you increase the likelihood of being understood and heard. Why? But because children need more time to comprehend what they hear before answering something (they have a completely different speed of processing information than adults). Thus, if you ask your child a question or ask for something, wait at least five seconds - the child will take in more information and, quite possibly, give an adequate answer. Try to be concise and precise, avoid lengthy monologues. At this age, the child becomes more receptive if he knows that he will not have to listen to a whole lecture. For example: "Please clean the closet before you go for a walk", "Now you need to learn physics", etc. Sometimes one reminder word is enough: "Cleaning!", "Literature!".

Rule 2. Speak kindly, politely - as you would like to be spoken to - and ... QUIETLY. A lowered, muffled voice usually catches a person by surprise, and the child will definitely stop to listen to you. After all, it is not for nothing that teachers use this technique so successfully to attract the attention of a raging class.

Rule 3. Be an attentive listener, do not be distracted by extraneous matters when the child tells you something. Listen to him twice as much as you speak. Your growing child simply cannot become an attentive listener if he has no one to learn this from. Make sure that you yourself can be an example of what you require from your child (pay attention to how you listen to your husband, friends, family and, of course, the child himself).

Rule 4. If you are very annoyed, you should not start a conversation. Your irritation, aggression will be instantly transferred to your child, and he will no longer hear you. This is due to the fact that one of the psychological features of this age is emotional instability, to a greater extent due to hormonal changes occurring in the child's body.

Rule 5. Before you say anything, make eye contact with your child. First, make sure he is looking at you and not away (if not, then ask to look at you - this technique works with adults, such as husbands). When you look into each other's eyes - the child is at your disposal, you can formulate your request or question. Doing this all the time when you need your child's attention will teach him to listen to you.

Rule 6. It is often difficult for teenagers to immediately switch their attention to your question, especially if they are busy doing what they really like. Moreover, the child may not really hear you (such is the peculiarity of attention at this age). In this case, give warnings - set a time limit: "I want to talk to you in a minute, please digress" or "I need your help in two minutes." At the same time, the set time interval should not exceed five minutes, otherwise the teenager will simply forget.

Here are some cases from our psychological practice. We have included quite a lot of health examples here, because they are the most objective in terms of evaluating the effectiveness of the work done. It is one thing when a client says that his problem has disappeared, and another thing when this is confirmed by the conclusion of third-party experts.

Sometimes it's enough to wake up from sleep...

Young man BUT… complained of unsatisfactory health. For more than a year, he has had a slight temperature, reduced working capacity, disturbed sleep, apathy so strong that he had to take an academic leave. Examinations by doctors did not reveal anything that could be the cause of such a condition.

Family of four: Ah…, his mother, father and older sister live in their own house. Everyone has their own space. The father is an entrepreneur, democratic in character, friendly towards his son, sees in him the successor of his business. The relationship between father and son is calm, but not trusting. Mother is a housewife. In childhood, she behaved authoritatively towards her son, at present the relationship is even, but devoid of warmth. A has constant petty conflicts with her older sister, because of her obsessive moralizing.

At the time of the consultation, it would be possible to describe the psychological portrait of A… as a stable personality, there were completely realistic attitudes regarding the prospects for life in terms of work, creating a family, social circle. Contacts with peers are constructive, interests are subordinated to development goals. The only thing that could be “reproached” with A ... is a certain conformity in relation to the plans proposed by the father. At the same time, A... had the temperament of an introvert and increased emotional sensitivity. In principle, A ... was aware that the continuation of his father's business removes many questions, he was studying and entered the institute specialized in this business, but still A ... did not have much enthusiasm for such a future.

At some point in the consultation, A... thought deeply and said that he did not see his future under the "wing of his father" at all, he wanted to be free and not only in the future, but right now. Also, A… discovered for himself that it was painful for him to be in the financial care of his father. In principle, A ... knew about all this before, but, as it were, brushed it aside, was in a kind of hibernation. Now he suddenly woke up.

A day later, A... called and said that the temperature had disappeared and he felt much better. A week later, he was restored at the institute, but already at the evening department and went to work as an appraiser in an insurance company, which allowed him to "live on his own." Conditions like those with which he addressed us did not recur.

*******

Indigo children exist...

A mother came to the reception with a four-year-old girl. My daughter was diagnosed with childhood autism. For reference, this is practically a sentence to special education and life outside a full-fledged society; there are no opportunities for a radical cure today. Having been examined by many specialists: neuropathologists and psychiatrists, my mother nevertheless decided to consult a psychologist again. Formally, the main signs of autism were on the face: lack of interest in social contacts, lack of speech. However, there were no other signs: rigidity of behavior and obsessive repetitions in this case. Another sign of true autism is the "cold" look of the child.

Here was a completely different case, as soon as they entered, we saw a charming, but very frightened girl - indigo. There was unearthly wisdom in the eyes of this child (it is very difficult for us earthlings to feel the warmth of this look - this is love of a higher order than we used to observe in our lives). Indigo children often have difficulty adapting to our reality, and in this case, there were reasons from the mother. Mom admitted that one of the psychiatrists said -Mommy you yourself need to be treated. Indeed, my mother was a creative person - an artist by profession and, alas, with a manic syndrome. So it turned out that the girl fell into the "pincers" - on the one hand, the complexity of the society in which she found herself, on the other hand, the unstable psyche of her mother. The girl found herself alone in a completely incomprehensible world, without a point of support and was completely frightened by everything that was happening. Naturally, the development of the girl slowed down.

During the consultation, we communicated with the girl more non-verbally, that is, we told her something, asked, and she reacted with facial expressions and postures or some sounds. At some point, my colleague (in view of the complexity, we decided to conduct a consultation together) drew a flower and gave it to the girl with the words - This is for you . And then an event occurred that shook me to the very depths. The girl took a blank sheet of paper, a yellow felt-tip pen and drew something like the sun and handed it to my colleague. Before us was a small man of the purest consciousness and boundless love.

Later, things took a somewhat unexpected turn. Two months later, my mother called us and said that she had decided to give the girl to be raised by her grandmother, who lives in another city, and she would focus on creativity herself. Actually, she already took the girl there. Mom called to say that the girl spoke to her grandmother.

*******

Looking for love...

Entrepreneur FROM… from Moscow asked for advice about several problems. Now she is 30 years old, but she does not manage to meet a suitable man, plus periodic depressions and drunken states, plus, lately, a complete reluctance to visit her own company.

The consultations took place on Skype . The first thing that caught my eye - obviously did not fit into the image of a businessman and university teacher. S… blushed a lot, hid her face out of the camera’s line of sight, asked- Will you always see me? ... well ... I'll get used to it soon, don't pay attention. It became clear that he would have to work with a deeply structured complex and dangerous psychotic reactions. Intuitive conclusions were immediately confirmed in numerous biographical data. It turned out that depressive states last for several weeks and are expressed in stupid lying on the couch and constantly watching TV series, plus alcohol poured to a state of complete unconsciousness, while tearsflowing non-stop. It is difficult to say about whom and what she is crying about. Relations with men are periodic, if there is no permanent man, thenindulges in all serious - every day a new man. At the age of twenty, an abortion was performed at the 6th monthI was afraid what my mother would say. During the school period, there was a case when she rushed at her mother and father with a knife,one wasn't badly hurt. All this was completed by two adult suicide attempts.

It would be wrong to present S... as some unbridled monster. She graduated from high school with a gold medal. She was seriously engaged in music and vocals, now she participates in concerts and shows as a hobby. Travels a lot, reads a lot. She has brilliant erudition and strong charisma, is highly creative, they say about such people - doors open before them. As for the character, our consultation was very friendly, S ... was extremely frank, was on the "side of the psychologist", trust and warmth were even in abundance. This is what sounded deeply childish "syndrome - love me." S ... unconsciously offered herself to everyone and everyone as an object of love, offered in a childishly naive, open and passionate way. With all her intellectual power, truly extraordinary, S ... was completely unaware of her motives. Personality, in its own way, very integral in this case, was not able to transcend for introspection precisely because of integrity. Children's "bookmarks" classic -I need a man as good as my dad; Every few days I call my mother, we talk for 2-3 hours, I ask her if I am doing something wrong?; Dad tells me that I should be good, that I shouldn't let men do this to me.. This is a thirty-year-old woman of leadership inclinations speaking.

We understood that in this case, the best solution would be implicit "provocative therapy", since S... was in a borderline state with negative dynamics. The first half of the session was spent in an existential way and only then the activation model was activated. Finished the session with the so-called "mirror". In our opinion, "provocative therapy" in its purest form can only be used for people with a pronounced predominance of logical thinking or people of despotic typology.

Now S... is doing well, she is in a confident state, she has resumed her active movement towards her goals. Whether her current condition will become the rule for the rest of her life now depends only on herself. All cards are revealed. It's time to play a new game called Life or go back to the old one in your imagination. It depends on her.

*******

Life turned into a struggle for ...

Young man D…. asked about the difficulties in building relationships with the opposite sex, plus tense relationships with colleagues, plus memory impairment and lack of inner peace.

Biography is quite good. He works as a lawyer in the civil service, he is moving up the career ladder, perhaps not as fast as he would like, but he is moving forward. He set himself the goal of active personal growth, in connection with which his days are scheduled literally by the minute, between work, attending concerts, reading books, martial arts, parkour, learning the language, etc., etc. Childhood passed in fairly good conditions, that rare a case when everything was in moderation and rights and obligations, and successes and failures. N…. has a good ability to learn, is sociable, is critical of himself in a good way, builds relationships quite confidently on the principles of parity. With all this (he is 26 years old), he cannot find a girl who would suit him and has recently been inclined to abandon further search. Psychological loneliness grows in his life. Friends gradually become acquaintances. Colleagues in the service are generally friendly, but the number of "jokes" and "pranks" has become excessive, reaching the point of mockery. In relations with the boss stiffness and timidity.

At the initial stage of counseling, we failed to identify any significant maladaptive attitudes and unrealistic expectations. Hidden needs, at least common ones: love, attention, security and their derivatives, were also not visible. Everything is within the normal range.

It was only at the end of our consultation that I suddenly had an insight. D ... not tall, 165 for a man - you can’t call a baby, but in reality everything is higher around.

I want to be equal, but when you look at people from the bottom up all your life, a defect in the perception of yourself arises. An unconscious battle begins, first for equality, then for the right to life, and then even with windmills. Drop by drop D ... turned into an eternal seeker of some truth about which he himself knows nothing, but in fact he became in societypersona non gratabecause of his inflamed adherence to principles and unconscious expansionism. A psychological distance has formed in his life, which he established by his own belief in some kind of injustice, the essence of which he himself is not aware of.

The psychotherapeutic process was built in three stages. We had with D ... first, several psychodramatic sessions aimed at restoring dialogue with people around, entering the context of mutual assistance and conditioning. The second stage was training for the transformation of behavior patterns from “playing to win” to “playing for fun”. We finished the work with a coaching session of building the desired reality.

Subsequent contacts with D ... showed that his life took on a different shape - friendly contacts arose, inner harmony appeared, prejudiced relations disappeared in the service.

*******

When there's no other way …

This is one of the cases of long-term work, when work with a client begins on one occasion, and ends at completely different levels.

At first, it seemed that the man calling from Moscow was well over 50. Judging by his intonation, he was seriously ill and was in an extremely depressed state, so depressed that there were doubts about the success of any psychotherapy. Sometimes you have to deal with such cases when a person is psychologically exhausted so much that it is already impossible to help him. It turned out that this is exactly the case. During the conversation, it turned out that the caller was actually 36 years old, in the recent past N… successful businessman. The state of health is really critical. General weakness, intestinal atony, dyskinesia of the gastrointestinal tract and gallbladder, etc., etc., the worst thing with the heart is arrhythmia, blockade of the pathways, myocardial dystrophy. Being a well-to-do person, N… was examined by all doctors in clinics of the highest level, but the etiology of what was happening was not identified. Despite the implementation of all the recommendations of the doctors and the long-term use of medications, the condition of N... continued to deteriorate. There is a question about the implantation of an artificial pacemaker.

We agreed that N... would gather his strength and come to St. Petersburg for a consultation.

During the consultation, very, very positive data were obtained on the state of the client's psychological patterns. The person held, highly successful, two higher educations. Excellent climate in the family, two problem-free children. The childhood period of N... was characterized by a rather high level of psychotraumatic events, the consequences of which, however, were completely reconstructed into an adaptive form in the very first years of independent life. About the high ability of N ... to reflection, says that he independently coped with the stutter that haunted him during the childhood period; after graduating from school, without any patronage of his parents, he organized his own business; confidently solved some physiological and psychological problems of an intimate plan. Thinking active, leadership, highly constructive and positive, recently began to engage in spiritual practices.

From the point of view of classical psychology, all objective socio-psychological constants H ... at the time of our meeting were normal. From the standpoint of ontopsychological research, the intentions of negative psychology on the part of the mother and the corresponding complementary zone of the “victim” in the psyche of the “inner child” were clearly observed. In such cases, when there are no objectively incomplete gestalts, the most difficult moment of therapy is how to convey to the client's consciousness that there is an error. The only facts confirming the negative dyad was the narrated N… dream. However, the dream is irrefutable for the psychologist, but doubtful in its significance for the client. Another fact was that N…. insisted on the return of his mother (she emigrated to Israel) to Russia (here he built an apartment for her next to his own). From a socio-cultural point of view, nothing reprehensible. Even cognitive therapy cannot be built on this.

In this situation, the method of existential therapy was used. The conversation, which analyzed the basic elements of existence: love, death, loneliness, freedom, responsibility, faith, etc., lasted 6 hours continuously. As immoral as it may sound, the client was asked to break off relations with his mother. Parting, N ... promised to weigh all the arguments properly, however, sufficient skepticism was felt.

About a month later, a call came from Moscow.

You know, everything has changed dramatically in my life. I resumed work, what was with my stomach and intestines now day and night. My heart let go, I was examined by cardiologists, of course, there are still complaints from medicine, but the issue of implanting a pacemaker has definitely been removed. My strength has returned, I am full of plans, I work day and night, my mood is cheerful. I’ll tell you honestly, at first I didn’t believe you, it doesn’t fit in my head how relationships with my mother can affect my health, but then I decided that this was my last chance. I simply had no other choice, death was nearby, I decided to try to follow your recommendations, even if I don’t understand.

Several years have passed since then. The life of N ... is developing successfully, both in terms of business, and in terms of health and personal life. Moreover, now N ... began a political career.

A few months after that "famous" consultation, we continued to work with N ... but for completely different reasons. As already mentioned, recently N… has begun to show interest in spiritual practices and everything related to personal growth, consciousness and deep cause-and-effect relationships operating in society. A large number of consultations have been held on these topics. Further, the task was set to reach a fundamentally higher level of success through the development of intuition. For two years, we held consultations by phone, plus after consultations, resumes were sent by e-mail. The next step on the part of N ... was an order for the development of a "Development Project" that would last a lifetime. Such a project has been created and is currently under implementation.

I would especially like to dwell on the relationship between N ... and his mother, so that there is no false impression of the anomaly of the ontopsychological approach. In this particular case, we are talking not so much about negativity as about the penetration into the unprotected psyche of someone else's semantic code. It is enough for a person to restore the “hanging” area of ​​consciousness in order to become indifferent to such influences again. For two years, N... did not maintain contact with his mother, during this period, due to deep inner work, he was able to see his “weaknesses” and reconstruct them. Now N... has returned to the mainstream of normal relations with his mother, which are characterized by love and mutual understanding.

*******

Move from vision to action...

A 45-year-old woman works as a psychologist-speech therapist. Asked about a recurring exhausting dream saturated with fear. The plot of dreams is simple - Someone is trying to open the door and enter her room. The door shakes, literally arches and is about to break off its hinges and then someone very scary will enter. After these dreams L…, that was the name of our client, woke up in a terrible fear and for a long time could not come to her senses.

In this case, we decided to oneirodrama, that is, to play a dream in reality. For this purpose, we invited L ... to the group. The characters were chosen: a door, a key, a lock, fear, and the main character herself (she was played not by L ..., but by a woman friend). The task of L ... was to once again experience in all details the repetition of a recurring dream and gather the will to open the door herself in order to face fear face to face.

After the oneirodrama, sharing– sharing experiences of each of the participants. Kind of feedback. All participants did experience the presence of fear, but noted that the fear was not in L... but was in another male person. L herself also felt that fear was not her own, but a third-party being. We asked L... to remember his childhood. It turned out that her father worked somewhere in the special services and L ... remembered that he had spoken out more than once, leaving home, that he was not sure that he would see his daughter again. L…felt in the form of an insight that the images of fear and father were combined. In dreams, L... experienced the fear of her father, which he transmitted to her in childhood.

The images combined, the situation became clear on a rational level, and L... no longer suffered from such dreams.

*******

From a bunch of complexes to enlightenment…

This work was carried out for more than three years, only through email correspondence. More than forty consultations were held, amounting to about three hundred pages.

A young neurosurgeon from Nizhny Novgorod asked for a consultation about establishing a relationship with a girl. Along the way, neurodermatitis, bronchitis and high blood pressure were announced, plus constant conflicts with her older sister and misunderstandings at work. The misunderstandings consisted in the fact that, being a promising and very diligent doctor, in good standing with the hospital management, he did not manage to undergo advanced training. All opportunities for various reasons are closed as if on purpose.

When we started consultations with P…, that was the name of the young man, it immediately became clear that he has an unusually high emotional sensitivity, painfully experiences both his own mistakes and all the costs of modern budgetary medicine. The person is hyper-responsible, which leads to a huge amount of overtime and manipulation by colleagues. The same is true in relations with her sister - seeing the reliability and conscientiousness of P ... she loads him with guardianship of her small child. To refuse all this P ... cannot, but all the injustices he experiences silently inside himself. In such cases, there is always an old childhood affect associated with injustice. And so it turned out - in childhood he was hit by a car, the driver fled the scene and P ... lay for several hours on the side of the road in a helpless state, and in the hospital the doctor also laughed at him. At such moments, children make a vow to themselves - "When I grow up, I will never do this, I will save everyone who is in trouble." Something similar happened at a later age. The first sexual contact was unsuccessful, not so much in fact, but in the opinion of the girl who mocked him and, worst of all, told her classmates about his "failure". Plus, P's father... was a judge, which additionally contributed to the formation of unreasonably high moral attitudes. These childhood scenarios became decisive in the relationship with the last girl. Outwardly, the situation looked like he loved her, but she did not. But it turns out that this girl was recently hit by a car and she had serious post-traumatic phenomena. Obviously, in this case, love is replaced by a scenario, which was fully confirmed by objective analysis.

It should be noted that in the person of P ... we found a diligent and conscientious student. It is good that he was a doctor and had an initial knowledge of psychology. Therefore, we did not have to start his psychological education from scratch. It is education that can be used to characterize the style of our remote work with P…, because due to his financial difficulties we could not conduct telephone conversations, only correspondence, which means it was impossible to use many psychotherapeutic techniques. The work was built on a reflexive basis. We started each consultation with some conceptual core: freedom, morality, values, etc. with a detailed presentation of both theoretical premises and examples of a household plan and ended with questions for independent work. At this stage, the main thing was to "disperse" the consciousness of P ... into echelons, as the pilots say. In essence, P ... was a very highly educated and highly moral person, but he simply got confused in standards and priorities.

In recent years, P ... has been actively involved in bodybuilding. When we began to explore this aspect, we quickly came to understand that the motivations for exercising have nothing to do with the topic of health and pleasure. Only short-term improvements in working capacity and mood after training showed that energy was spent on compensating for feelings of inferiority (mainly of a sexual nature), plus the oedipal complex made it necessary to accumulate superiority due to the hypertrophy of masculine images. In order to adequately meet the psychological request, given his real fears of men, we recommended that P ... change the sport to martial arts. P… I chose kickboxing. The results came very quickly. After about a month of practicing a new sport, P ... had completely normalized pressure and neurodermatitis practically disappeared. P. himself noted that he began to feel much more confident in society, friends appeared, including among kickboxers.

The most difficult area was everything related to professional activity, where the criteria of morality and acceptable limits were in fact very blurred. How to measure the amount of energy delivered by a doctor, how to accurately determine the boundaries of responsibility when it comes to the life and death of a patient, especially since he is “in the hands” of not one but many specialists and attendants? For P... with his increased emotionality, not only clear, but deeply substantiated criteria for choosing certain actions were needed. Otherwise, he could literally burn out on a mental level. We had no other choice but to offer material of philosophical and theological content for reflection in order to create real, universal reference points of consciousness.

We will omit here everything related to therapeutic work regarding relationships with mother, sister, girlfriend, career moments. Within a year, all this improved and ceased to excite our client. Another thing is interesting. Those materials that were used during the work stirred up a completely different level of perception. P… became seriously interested in everything that is connected with the infraphysical level of cause-and-effect relationships, and speaking in everyday language with theosophy and esotericism. Kick-boxing soon gave way to Wu-shu and Qigong, and the most read became: Vedic and Taoist texts, treatises by E. Roerich, D. Andreev, etc. Soon P ... began to study in one of the schools of spiritual development, received initiations, from him extrasensory abilities were opened - the vision of subtle matter, the semantic field of man. Our psychological work has moved into the mainstream of real consultations, and not psychotherapy, as it was before. P's life… moved to other levels of motivation from consumer to truly ontic.- There is another request, help me identify and find all my complexes, blocks of consciousness, you don’t have to decide for me, just help me see them. Complexities of an immeasurably higher level also appeared. - I used to think that this is the spiritual path and everything will be fine on it. In a white sparkling light………The worldview and the level of consciousness jumps incredibly sharply, then I live and feel that I am not in this world and look at the world as a theater, then I hate it. Here's what I get - Our world is the lowest and laziest. In fact, people are robots with programs, and they just execute them and that's all .... there is no more pain than seeing all this. At first I was angry that everyone was sleeping….The questions that had to be solved had no answer within the framework of classical psychology. - Here's another moment. For example, there is a reason for the problem in the mind. I will transform it. But it seems to leave a trace or some kind of complimentary place. Can it return to this place or connect to something else?

Even now we continue to exchange messages with P..., but rather as colleagues than as a teacher with a student. What happened to P... is called enlightenment. Works like this probably develop ourselves no less than the client.

I very rarely conduct consultations by correspondence. But occasionally there are such spontaneous consultations that were not planned, but simply turned out, because the client dropped in to ask a couple of questions, and I had a good creative mood, some free time and a desire to understand better .... and away we go…. I will post a couple of such consultations here with the permission of the people with whom I worked, so that it is clearer, but how it generally happens.

I want to make a reservation right away that this is not the whole consultation, but only part of it. The work itself required much more time, which was spent on collecting information, trying to work through other techniques, as well as discussing and checking the result after. I cut all this and post here only the main part.

Consultation:

T: What are you afraid of happening now?

K: I have a feeling that at 34 I'm like a newborn, and this can be seen from the outside
don't know where to go
those. real experience, knowledge - there is a lot
but still dumb
well, some kind of dissatisfaction with yourself
I can't make out
I can not yet

T: ok. how do you feel when you're not old enough?
Or you don't look good enough...

K: self-prejudice, disrespect

T: What's the feeling?
where in the body?
or not in the body?
what does it look like?
how do you feel about it?

K: something behind, behind the back of the head
as if holding by the collar
small
“don’t climb”, you are still small
“why are you climbing there”, etc.
what is this technique? I need to dig myself

T: imagine someone who treats you like that on an empty chair
and then tell him that you are not small, you are an adult
and keep saying that you are an adult, you are thirty something
you might want to yell at him
try

K: yes, today I had a similar situation, but I couldn’t bend the dude under me

T: yeah dude it's nothing to do with it
do the exercise
it's something from the past

K: I understand

T: something stuck
need to release it
sometimes you want to scream, beat, kick, etc.

K: strange, I don't want to offend him

T: what do you want?

K: there is only one desire - to say HOW TO understand

T: say

K: but just to say, confidently and calmly
so that he understands that I'm not joking

T: you can even ask why he treats you like that
And another question: who is holding you back?
turn around and look

K: I don't see
feel the hand

T: Whose hand is this?
what do you feel about her?

K: I want to get rid of
let go

T: so turn around and tell her: "I'm already an adult, go to hell"

TO: _

T: Loud and confident
and repeat until something changes

K: ok, got it
oh, apparently still clean and clean
I'm going to study

T: so you didn't?
just understood?
when are you going to do it?
i want you to do it now

K: damn
hand said

T: and?

K: let go, does not hold
but i feel it

T: and you can also do the following: step aside and look at the one who was held by this hand. what does he look like?

K: little frightened
.. hooks .. me

T: and now watching from the side, start making it more
make him older
and see what happens

K: I got a picture
that it was my mother who was holding me, preventing me from approaching adults who somehow frightened me

T: tell your mother that you can no longer keep

K: I fight off my mother so that she would let me go, I want to run up and hit adults

K: ..sausage..

T: knock them
you can beat them if you want
physically
until you release all the aggression
and tell your mother that you can no longer keep that you are an adult
she will understand

K: all
I protected her from my father drunk, and she protected me so that he would not hit
I had it often
both in childhood and later in adolescence

T: clear. What now?
what are the feelings?
what image?

K: calm, I have this often now
I realize, and immediately calmness

T: good. But think about how you will interact with people?
something has changed?

K: confidence

T: ok
Tell me, has that guy grown up?

K: and freedom
yes, grown up
there was a father and his friends, all drunk, and their mother drove them out of the house
everything is drawn, hmm

T: if this guy has grown up to your age, then it would be nice to accept him, become one with him

K: yes, I did

T: great, well done