I believe that we all came into this world for a reason and that we all have some meaning in it. I sincerely believe that we are all gifted with inimitable and unique talents. The realization of our talents is much more important than we ourselves realize.

First I'll tell my story

Last year, I was knocked off my feet by the sheer amount of things to do because I was chasing my dream of money and “success.” I don't even remember why I need it. Luckily, I met Jim (name changed). Jim achieved the financial success that I was so eager for. He was financially independent, he successfully ran several projects, he had real estate in many countries, he could afford all the luxuries that money can buy.

He was able to achieve all this thanks to hard work, constancy and responsibility! But Jim was not happy. He did not have free time to enjoy his wealth. He wanted to have a family. He wanted peace. He wanted to live his life...but he couldn't afford it. He had too many responsibilities, and if he didn't, he would lose a lot. He had a lot to protect. Jim has spent years building his castle, and now that the building is complete, he spends all of his time making sure the castle doesn't collapse from outside influences.

Getting to know Jim opened my eyes to my life and made me change it. His words brought me to my senses. It suddenly became clear to me that “I don’t want to spend the next 10 years of my life chasing money, in order to later find my emotional, mental and spiritual development at the same level at which it was at the beginning of the chase.” The brakes screeched, my pursuit stalled and then was put aside. I spent the next two months reassessing my life goals.

The following questions came to my mind: What am I chasing? Why am I doing this? What is my true purpose? What am I here for?

While reading E-Myth: Why Most Small Businesses Don't Work by Michael Gerber, I found myself crying. In that chapter, the author asked readers to do visualization exercises. By following his instructions, you visualize the day of your funeral clearly in your mind. What kind of eulogy would you like? What will be your lifetime achievements? What will matter most to you at the end of your life? Is this what you are doing now?

I began to write. I started making a list of what really matters to me. I wrote down everything I wanted to do. I rethought my priorities. For myself, I decided that all the steps I take should lead to the achievement of a goal that corresponds to my personal values ​​​​and is what I really want from life. With each new opportunity that comes up, I have to determine whether that opportunity is right for my ultimate goal. No matter how much money a new opportunity brings me, if it goes against my life goals, I won't take it. I formulated my goal as follows:

To inspire, motivate and motivate people to live happier and more meaningful lives.

Here are some of the most important tasks for me:

• For me, it is of great importance to agree with oneself, self-realization and a feeling of happiness;
• The greatest value for me is serious relationships with people, the ability to build real relationships at a deep level;
• I will be financially independent and in control of my time and location. I want to work only on those projects and implement only those ideas that I like. My financial situation will not conflict with my values ​​and life goals;
• I will travel and live in different parts of the world. Having become acquainted with all kinds of cultures, I will document them in photographs and share my impressions with others;
• I will buy my mother in Vancouver a house with a swimming pool in the yard. This is her dream and I want to make it come true;
• Family is important to me. I want my husband and I to have a strong and loving relationship.
• I try to live every day as fully as if it were my last day.

15 questions to help you understand your life goals.

A list of these questions can help you recognize your life goals. They are designed to help you mentally formulate the tasks that you must complete during your life.

Easy instructions:

• Take some sheets of writing paper;
• Find a place where no one will disturb you. Turn off your mobile phone;
• Write down the answers to all questions. Write down the first thing that comes to mind. Write without editing. Answer all questions. It is more important to write down all the answers, and not just think about them;
• Write fast. Give yourself no more than 60 seconds for each question. And it's better if it takes you less than 30 seconds;
• Be honest. Nobody will read this. It is very important to write without editing;
• Enjoy what you are doing and smile at the same time.

15 questions:

1. What makes you smile? (Occupation, people, events, hobbies, projects, etc.)
2. What did you enjoy doing in the past? What do you like to do now?
3. What kind of work can you lose track of time doing?
4. What makes you proud of yourself?
5. Who is your biggest inspiration? (Someone you know or don't know personally. Your family members, friends, writers, artists, politicians, etc.). What qualities of each of your inspirations exemplify you?
6. What are you especially good at? (Your skills, abilities and talents).
7. What kind of help do people usually turn to you for?
8. If you had to teach someone something, what would you teach?
9. What would you regret in your life? (Imperfect actions, absence of something).
10. Imagine that you are already 90 years old. You sit in a rocking chair on the porch of your house and bask in the gentle rays of spring. You are happy and relaxed, you are satisfied with the wonderful life that has been given to you. You remember your whole life, think about what you achieved during this life and what you had. You iterate over all relationships in memory. What matters the most to you? Make a list.
11. What are your true values? Choose 3-6 words in descending order of importance.

What are your highest values?
Achievements	Friendship	Quality of work
Adventures	Helpfulness	Personal growth
the beauty	Health	The game
To be the best	Honesty	Productivity
Challenge	Independence	Initiative
Convenience	inner peace	Relations
Courage	Directness	Reliability
Creation	Intelligence	Respect
Curiosity	Close relations	Safety
Education	Fun	Spirituality
Confidence	Leadership	Success
Environment	Studies	Freedom in time
A family	Love	Diversity
Financial independence	Interest
Healthy lifestyle	Passion
Other values ​​not listed

12. What difficulties, difficulties and hardships have you had to overcome or what do you have to overcome at the moment? How do you do it?
13. What ideas do you truly believe in? What attracts you to them?
14. If you had to perform in front of a lot of people, what would your performance be about? Who would these people be?
15. You have talents, preferences, and values. How could you use what is given to you to serve, help, and make a personal contribution? (People, living beings, ideas, organizations, environment, world, etc.).

Your purpose in this world

“You change when you write down your goals and revise them, because for this you have to carefully, deeply reflect on what is really important to you and adjust your behavior to your beliefs”- Stephen Covey "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

You can understand your purpose by answering 3 questions:

• What do I want to do?
• Who do I want to help?
• What will be the result? What will I create?

Steps to define your purpose:

1. Quickly answer the 15 questions above.
2. List the words that describe you. For example: education, achievement of excellence, trust, inspiration, improvement, help, giving, guidance, inspiration, possession, motivation, education, organization, promotion, travel, growth, participation, satisfaction, understanding, teaching, creativity, etc..
3. Based on your 15 responses, list everything and everyone who and what you can help. For example: people, living beings, organizations, ideas, groups, environment, etc.
4. Define your end goal. What benefit will those who got in the answer to the question above benefit from what you do?
5. State steps 2-4 in one or 2-3 sentences.

What is your goal? What is your purpose? What are your aspirations? Share your thoughts in the comments to the article.

Everything you need to know to finally understand your true desires. The results may surprise and even shock you.

How to understand what I really want? How do I know what kind of life I want to live? Today, more and more people are asking themselves these questions. And there are good reasons for this. Right?

Again, briefly: these are the people who act like scanners - jumping from fifth to tenth - but in reality they are just trying to drown out boredom.

Real scanners are interested in many things at once, and they want everything at the same time. False scanners jump on the tops, just to occupy their restless mind with something.

From all this intoxication, the fear of not being able to do anything, or making the wrong choice, has settled in the heads of modern people.

How can you do one specific thing when such a temptation is around? How to understand what you want? What if you choose not to? Will you suddenly remain unclaimed? Maybe it was better to go to another institute? Or maybe that dude at the next table in the restaurant has better food? What is better to choose - a used iPhone or a new Galaxy? What if my boyfriend is not my true soulmate? What I want? Etc.

To stop the revolving world, you need to get off this carousel and just stand on the sidelines for a while to recover. Some, unfortunately, do it too radically.

But you can not turn off the knife switch for good, but only switch to neutral mode. You know as well as I do what we are talking about - about meditation, of course!

No need to wrinkle your nose, like swimming - we know. This is usually done by those who tried several times, didn’t make any progress and abandoned the practice to hell.

Meditation is not a Viagra pill that gives an immediate reaction. You have to work on this, and sometimes long enough to feel a noticeable effect.

Judge for yourself, a person has been accumulating a mess for years in his thoughts and desires. And then a kind of half-educated plumber came with only one plunger in his hand and is trying to clean all this blockage at once. Will he get it? Here's the same thing.

Therefore, you need to calm the rushing mind, and a better practice than meditation has not yet been invented for this.

By the way, a very good way to meditate is to focus on the phrase "I want to know what I want." It not only stops the flow of thoughts of various sizes, but also relieves some of the tension and guilt that arise from the fact that sometimes we ourselves do not know what we want.

Don't know what you want? Well, load your subconscious with this question, let it figure it out on its own. And the answer may emerge after a while by itself and most often unexpectedly.

Just do not specifically wait for him and, moreover, be upset if he does not come. Just keep practicing next time. And again, and again... That's how it works.

If you are constantly looking for novelty, trying to escape from fear and boredom, then a peculiar piggy bank of ideas. Barbara Sher also talked about this in her book.

The chip is actually very simple, but effective. You just take on one specific case (a dish in a restaurant, a partner, a used iPhone, and so on) and do it until you get a specific result.

And as soon as an alarm bell rings in your head and there is a desire to switch to something else, then you realize this, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it into a special box of ideas. You can just write in a notebook and not bother with the box.

The meaning of the action is that you do not accumulate ideas in your head, where it is already crowded from them, but give them a real embodiment, the path is even just on a piece of paper. So you literally “blow off steam” and significantly reduce internal stress.

This tension arises precisely from the fact that we are always afraid that we will not have time to do something important, we are afraid to miss this important thing, and therefore we rush between things, trying to grab them all.

Having written down everything on a piece of paper, we not only give relief to nervous tension, but also become more confident that we will not forget anything now and that we can continue to work calmly.

Fear is the inclination of the soul, convincing it that the desire will not come true.
Rene Descartes

By the way, Barbara also advises writing down on paper all the anxieties, fears, bad feelings and thoughts for any reason. You can have a separate box or notebook for them.

This allows you to safely defuse all that negativity that has settled in your head for a long time and firmly. Consider it a free, but very effective psychotherapy. Then you can burn this notebook. Try it! Very inspiring :)

For those who do not want to study and spend a lot of time on one thing

This is me! Yes. Since childhood, I do not like to do one thing for a long time and study all its subtleties. Probably, this is all because of Aunt Nina's neighbor, the kingdom of heaven to her. She kept saying: Igor is our professor!

And at school I was frankly bored. After all, I'm a professor, and so I know everything, leave me alone.

I remember that even in my favorite radio circle, I almost never completed the assembly of any circuit to the end. I liked to start work, but to finish - fu-fu-fu.

By the way, I also changed a lot of various circles and sections in my childhood.

This is also a certain kind of unfortunate diver, or false scanner. It comes from the inability to learn. This is when in childhood you were either praised too much, or everything was very easy for you at first, and therefore the illusion arose that it would continue to be so.

But as soon as the first difficulties appeared, fear and uncertainty arose, and therefore it was easier to quit this business and do something new.

Can only help here. patience. Patience that will eventually overcome disappointment.

After all, that's what we really fear - disappointment. What if it doesn’t work out, what if something goes wrong, what if they don’t praise, but on the contrary they will mock me, what if I miss something important while I’m busy with something else, and in old age there will be only regret and nothing more?

Patience is a difficult thing. You can't get it in a hurry. You can't force yourself to endure just like that. This is masochism. You need to find something interesting in it that can captivate and smooth out the bitter aftertaste. And that interest can be curiosity.

He who is patient is able to achieve whatever he wants.
Benjamin Franklin

What usually scares you the most when you are afraid of being disappointed? That's right - ignorance. You do not know what you will get as a result and you are afraid of failure in advance.

But what if you turn on curiosity and aim not for a positive result, but for a result in general?

That is, to show interest in the process, and not the result, as such. Just take it and say to yourself: I don’t care that I can’t really achieve anything, but I’ll try to bring this matter to the end and see what the hell will come of all this.

Thus, shift the focus. When you are not confused by the result, but do something for the sake of the process itself (even if at first it doesn’t bother you at all), then gradually and imperceptibly you get involved and begin to notice things that you didn’t even think about before.

It can also be called meditation. In fact, that is what she is. And most importantly - over time, you begin to like it. Process for the sake of process and only.

Have you heard of the flow? This is exactly what it is when you have focused all your attention on the process, even if you are just picking your nose. Many find in this the meaning of life.

Not in nose picking, of course! And in the feeling of the flow. When you are in it, then you absolutely don’t care what exactly you are doing.

So Buddhist monks spend their whole lives slowly waving a hoe in their garden or sweeping the yard and at the same time they are happy, like a hundred Buddhas.

So the writer composes his verses and watches how the lines fall on paper and create a new universe.

So parents watch the growth of their offspring and rejoice simply because they are.

But how much patience you need to apply to all this! Without the necessary interest, this cannot be done in any way.

Interest is what helps to cope with all difficulties.

I wish you find your interest in life. Good luck! And subscribe to our channel in Telegram.

Do you already know what you really want? Write in the comments and tell us how you found your true desires.

An ideal partner in all respects - no matter how much one would like to believe in romantic comedies - does not exist. But there are many imperfect men, with each of whom you could be very happy. But how to determine that the guy is really right for you? Love, as you know, is evil, so you should not rely on instincts alone. Here are 5 signs by which you can understand that your new friend is exactly the one you need.

Sign #1 You respect each other

Respect tops the list. And this is something that should be mutual. That is, to be considered suitable for a serious relationship, a man must respect you, and you, in turn, respect him. How do you know if he respects you or not? Like this:

He treats you with respect if:

• willing to compromise
• listens when you talk about your problems and feelings;
• notices when something is wrong and asks you about it;
• appreciates your opinion;
• appreciates you;
• I am sincerely happy for you when you achieve success in something.

Remember, for a relationship to be good, you need to demonstrate the same towards him.

If you find that one of you is unwilling to compromise, and problems and feelings are ignored, or you notice that something is wrong, but do not ask, these are signs that signal that there is a lack of respect. . If one of you dismisses the opinion of the other as if it is insignificant, obviously, respect and does not smell.

Sign #2: He has the qualities you're looking for.

Ideally, you should already know what qualities are really important to you in a partner. Trying to figure this out after the fact while in a relationship can lead to serious problems.

If you haven't decided yet, make a list of the qualities that are important to you. Choose at least 10 traits you are looking for in a man. List them in descending order of priority. Look carefully at the list and cross off a few qualities that are not so important. The idea is to keep the top 5 or even the top 3 completely irreplaceable qualities that are fundamental to you.

All this must be done with two points in mind. First, remember: no one is perfect. If you're looking for Mister Perfect, stop doing it: useless. Second, you don't have to settle for a "just good" guy. After all, we are talking about finding a truly suitable man.

Compare your list of the 5 most important personality traits with the man you are currently interested in a relationship with. Remember that these are very important qualities for you, so if he does not match them all, there is a high probability that he does not suit you. And if you feel attracted to him, later you can remember this relationship as that very situation of “love of evil”.

Sign #3: You Have the Same Values

What do you value in life? What comes first in your value system, what comes second? How do you see your future? If you do not adhere to common values, consider this a very good sign.

Values ​​are something that should be discussed in advance. Do not try to guess what he values ​​​​most in life, ask him yourself! If he doesn't seem to have them or can't articulate them, then this can be seen as another wake-up call. Psychologically, an adult man, with an already established worldview, is quite flexible, but has clear views on life.

Sign #4: Your intuition tells you he's the one for you.

You can't just rely on intuition, but you can't ignore it either. Intuition involves more than just physical attraction. It is connected to that place deep inside, where you "just know, and that's it." If for no reason you are internally sure that a person suits you, perhaps this is true.

Sign #5: You can be yourself with him.

If someone wants to change you or cannot love you with all your shortcomings, then he definitely is not right for you. So if you can be yourself when you're around him, he might just be the one you need. A man should accept not only the good in you, but also your weaknesses and shortcomings. With him you feel free and calm.

Remember these 5 signs when evaluating a candidate for a special place in your life, and the chances of "and they lived happily ever after" will increase.

What makes you get up in the morning and start doing your tasks as soon as possible? What motivates you to overcome obstacles and? Why do you glow with happiness, and your eyes begin to shine? Many people can easily answer these and other similar questions and start a conversation about their goals, dreams, plans for life and what they want to achieve. But, at the same time, there are people who will think hard about the answer, but will not be able to say anything. The difference between these categories of people is that some are clearly aware of their purpose and have specific life goals, while others seem to strive for something, however, the meaning of their life and what they want to achieve look rather vague even for them themselves.

Here we are not talking about such “goals” as earning money to provide yourself and your loved ones with everything you need, covering mandatory monthly expenses, new home appliances, etc. All of these are essential needs of almost every person; his so-called vital necessity; without which his life and everyday life will not satisfy even the most minimal requirements. Here we are talking about something more global; the fundamental direction of all actions performed in life; about what makes you grow, develop, work, work and achieve, regardless of any obstacles, and do it with pleasure, enthusiasm and inspiration. We are talking about specific life goals.

A little about the lack of a life goal

The desire to find one's destiny and life purpose is inherent, perhaps, in all people. But often, under the influence of various factors and circumstances, such as, for example, upbringing, the worldview of parents, the influence of the environment, imposed beliefs and ideals, the promotion of a certain lifestyle, way of thinking and everything that you need to have and want to have, lead to that people just lose themselves in all this. They seem to fall asleep, their whole life becomes unconscious and mechanical, and their thinking becomes stereotyped and standardized. As a result, all questions relating to the meaning of life lose their relevance, fade into the background, or are generally discarded as unnecessary.

If a person is still concerned about such topics, and he has not completely lost his individuality, selfhood and the feeling that you need to strive for something or at least look for it, the answers to the above questions are often difficult to find, which often noticeably overshadows the existence , creates a feeling of aimlessness of being, becomes the cause of apathetic or depressive states.

The lack of a life goal has an extremely negative effect on a person's life. This is the inability to fully reveal one's personal and creative potential, and the duality of thinking and behavior, and the loss of interest in activities and in life in general, and real happy moments can be counted on the fingers. It is possible to disassemble this topic in parts endlessly, but this is not at all important, but what is needed, and most importantly, you can come to an understanding of your true purpose and the definition of specific life goals.

Why do you need to find your life purpose?

The question of finding a life goal, just like the previous one, is very voluminous and multifaceted. But, despite this, it is always considered exclusively in a positive way. When a person has a clear life goal, he lives with an understanding of what his time is invested in, that he is on the path to achieving what he wants, and this path is the right one. The goal fills his entire existence with meaning, which means that in life there is a place for harmony and happiness. Having a goal, a person specifically knows in which direction to move. It becomes easier to make any choice in everyday life, it becomes much easier to separate the important from the unimportant and discard the latter without regret. Always present, no need to force yourself to anything. And if efforts are made to correct one's behavior, then this is a training that allows one to become stronger, and certainly not violence against oneself, as happens when you do everything with clenched teeth.

A life goal is something that fills both the person himself and his life. This is what allows a person to walk through life with a firm and confident gait with his head held high even in the most difficult moments. And this is what allows him to come to the meaning of his existence and see even the most familiar life in a completely new perspective, as well as change it.

But reasoning is reasoning. They are, of course, good, but they can remain only a theory. And this, unfortunately, is the worst thing that can happen to a person who is looking for his destiny. To avoid this, you should use several recommendations that not only facilitate the transition from thoughts to actions, but also greatly simplify the search for your destiny and goals, to which you can safely devote your life.

How to realize your purpose and find life goals?

Without further ado, let's jump right into these recommendations.

• Start by analyzing your interests and hobbies. Approach this issue consciously and seriously. Determine what interests you the most: what kind of literature do you prefer to read? Are you interested in documentaries, and if so, what kind? What do you like to learn more and more about? It is likely that the answers to these questions will be able to set the right direction for future searches. If you don't feel like you have any special interests, you'll have to work hard to find them. Your life's work is 90% related to your interests.
• Analyze your free time activities: what do you do, what do you like to do, what do you want to do when you think about your free time? What would you do if there was more time? Surely your leisure time, if it is, of course, not “stupid” or idle chatter in social networks, can be associated with your subconscious aspirations, talents, predispositions and goals. If you managed to find something like that, then think about whether there is an opportunity to somehow develop it and derive practical benefits from this lesson?
• Try to observe yourself, namely: observe what you notice around you. For example, you can often pay attention to other people's appearance or health, or you can pinpoint the cause of a car breakdown. Perhaps you are keenly aware of flaws in construction or repairs made in someone else's house. But what if you, without having the appropriate education, easily find various errors in the texts and know how to correctly write and express your thoughts, although you have never learned this? After observing yourself, most likely you will find something in which you, without having deep knowledge, can be a specialist. What is your activity now? Develop this idea further.
• Make a list of 50 wishes. Include everything that comes to mind. Seems simple? Surprisingly, many people after listings like: house, apartment, car, renovation, vacation, wedding, child, salary increase, new phone, new furniture, and something like that, become confused. As a result, it turns out to write 20-25 wishes on the strength. If you have the same situation, do not despair and write further - this will activate your creativity and the work of the subconscious. If you easily wrote 50 wishes, increase the list to 100. It is the last and most “difficult” wishes that will reflect your global goals and life aspirations to a greater extent.
• Watch your states. In everyday life, a person from time to time is “covered” by waves of seemingly causeless inspiration and enthusiasm. Track these moments in your life and try to understand the reasons for their occurrence: some thoughts, actions, people. In many spiritual practices, inspiration is considered a sign that you are on the right path. Look for such signs constantly - they will be able to lead you to the right "road".
• Practice meditation. is one of the most powerful spiritual practices. During meditation, the chaotic running of thoughts calms down, there is a feeling of calmness, well-being and inner silence, which is the best suited for connecting with the subconscious. And, as you know, the subconscious knows and can do everything. During practice, ask yourself questions without trying to answer, using your rational mind. Answers can come even after meditation - it can be an insight, a thought or image that came from somewhere in your head, a sensation in your body, a meeting with some person, or a book that “accidentally” fell under your feet. Strive for self-knowledge.
• your future. Choose a quiet and peaceful place where no one will disturb you for at least 30 minutes. Turn off phones, skype, ICQ, internet and so on. Sit down and take a comfortable position. Close your eyes, relax. Try not to be distracted by extraneous thoughts. And now start imagining your life in detail, for example, in 5 years: where are you, where do you live, what kind of people are next to you, what are you wearing, what surrounds you at this moment, what do you have? Strive to keep your thoughts flowing calmly. No need to impose something on yourself and think in patterns. Just surrender to the flow of your thoughts - where will it take you? The sharper and clearer the picture, the closer you will be to finding a way to achieve its materialization. Do this procedure at least once every two days and over time you will begin to understand what you want and what you really need.

What more can be said? In fact, I would very much like to continue to develop this topic and bring more and more new ways to find your purpose and life goals. One could write a whole book. But for obvious reasons, it is not possible to do this in this article. So it remains only to summarize: the process of finding a life purpose and your destiny is entirely up to you. To find answers to your questions, you must find yourself, and this is a difficult, lengthy process, but very interesting and exciting. As already mentioned, strive for self-knowledge, engage in spiritual practices, read and watch educational TV shows, be alone with yourself, listen to your inner voice, etc. You can combine all of these, or you can do them separately.

And always remember that our only real enemies are despair, laziness and unwillingness to see beyond our own noses. Believe in yourself and your strengths, and also that your life goals are already very close to you!

You can comprehensively study this issue, it is better to understand yourself and use the knowledge gained for the purposes of self-development on the course. Join now!