If everything is more or less clear with men, then women have not figured out their objects of acquaintance until now. It is understandable, women love in an unknown place, and whether a place at all. I often thought about this question when some beauty fell on me, and the ugly girl, whom I had every chance to drive up to, sent me to hell. Sex is one thing, since both a man and a woman are predisposed to such an acquaintance, but it’s not possible to extend the relationship every time. And all because our beauties do not even have seven Fridays a week, but eight or nine. Even women themselves know that they cannot predict changes in their dating preferences. Today they are drawn to hooligans who smell of cigarettes and are constantly tipsy, but tomorrow they want higher matters, poems, walks under the moonlight and pens when leaving the tram.

I asked my respondents about the reasons for such behavior, but I didn’t really find out anything and then turned on my own brains to understand all the subtleties of female metamorphoses with a preference for the opposite sex. I hope my thoughts will be of interest not only to men, but also to women themselves, otherwise they break beautiful heads in thought. Along the way, all the preferences of the weaker sex for dating are due to their own benefit. Yes, the expression “love is evil, you will love a goat” is more like a desire of women to take a man's life aside, none of the ladies expresses a desire to make friends with goats. Let them convict me of lying, but in every, even the most goat-goat in the image of a man, there are some qualities that are attractive to a woman, money, for example. Someone once tried to drive me away, as if love is not for sale, but of the two candidates he chose not at all the one for which he had a great feeling.

So women in their preferences for acquaintance give them to potentially profitable partners, initially focusing on profit. Women in this case are three orders of magnitude smarter than men, who fall for a pretty face, large breasts and a slender figure. Everything else appears later, when the acquaintance has already taken place. In women, if this is not the last exit of the actress, everything is thought out in the most thorough way. As a rule, if the connection is supposed to be short-term, the male is chosen to be handsome, sexy, athletic, active, and everything in that style. But if a woman has plans for the future, then the appearance and inner content no longer dominate. Here everything is known in the totality of comparisons. That's why many handsome men are puzzled when outright outsiders cuckold them.

What do women fall for?

There is no ideal among men, there was not, and cannot be. And all because our ladies do not have a permanent opinion on this matter. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I’m an athlete (relative), I have my own business and not one, with regard to sexual preparation, you can judge for yourself by the volume of the tome, which, on occasion, can kill and, nevertheless, did not grow together. This is what men do not understand, and women too. Ask anyone to name ten positions by which she would choose a man for dating and ask her again in a month - half of the positions will not match. And how the opinion of women changes with age ... that is why it is possible to calculate what our beauties fall for only relatively. Let's start with the fact that in terms of the importance of positions compared to men's, the difference is very significant:

- ears

Yes, more than 50% of women can be fooled, that is, it is elementary to talk with the most banal compliments. At the same time, they can forgive a man for his appearance, sports training, and almost everything else except for sexual activity. If you do not satisfy a woman sexually, then chatter will not be enough for a long time. Personally, I have more than once been convinced that the weaker sex loves with its ears, so the talker is a godsend not only for a spy, but also for a woman. I also like to talk, maybe that's why, despite my unremarkable appearance, I have never been deprived of female attention. Just do not think that if a talker, then a station wagon. In fact, what pleases the ears of one person may not please another.

- eyes

In second place in terms of the degree of excitation of female curiosity to meet a man is the ophthalmic nerve. It is visually that women in the amount of 30% fall on the male image. They just look at men differently. If young ladies, first of all, evaluate the face, then the figure and what is bumpy in the pants as an indicator of male sexuality, then the girls who have a little knowledge of the male essence begin the visual assessment in the reverse order. Women in this regard are much more attentive than men, and if they are easy to fool with makeup, corsets and pumped busts, then there are no such methods for ladies. But even if all external realities are undeniable standards, there are a few more evaluation posts that not every handsome man with a sports figure can go through.

- tactile

Acquaintance on a tactile basis, as a rule, begins in dance. It is in the dance that the weaker sex feels the support of the strong, and the desire of this lady to find herself such an acquaintance depends on how she makes an impression. Many males do not give dancing the same importance that they have for females. Yes, if you want to know, sometimes it’s enough to gallantly give a hand to a beauty when getting into a taxi or getting off a trolley bus to get to know each other. A light but firm squeeze at this moment will transmit at least thirty sheets of all sorts of information, from which the woman will understand everything that you wanted to tell her. About 10% of women are delighted with the gallantry of men, who, on occasion, give the opportunity to touch their body, and even if it is created for female touches, then one thought of such an opportunity will be enough for any person to make every attempt to get acquainted.

- smell

If men's noses mainly react to stink, and do nothing to differentiate the shades of aromas, then for 10% of women such things are dominant. Sometimes it is enough to figure out a favorite female smell so that acquaintance with her takes place despite all the negative prerequisites. For a man, the main thing is to draw attention to himself, and so in schnappy acquaintances, this is precisely the aroma exhaled by a man. It's like mine - the appearance of one acquaintance is enough, after which the entire female team discusses its advantages and disadvantages until the very end of the working day. It's simple, his individual smell remains for long minutes, but the memory of him - for long hours. Some men consider their natural smells to be too exciting, but this is self-deception, in real life, amber from sweat and unwashed genitals provokes only a small percentage of perverts to get acquainted, which are not so easy to find.

Objects for dating among men

And now let's talk about women's preferences in dating, since there are many more such items in the women's arsenal than in men. It only seems that a man chooses his girlfriend for dating, in fact, it is the girlfriend who allows herself to be chosen, but sometimes she doesn’t. Here's why we're talking about women's choice:

alcoholics

I didn't make a reservation, in fact, there are wonderful creatures who doom their young years to pulling men out of alcohol addiction. Either they are doing some duty, or they really want to go down in history as a great martyr, but often quite normal-looking ladies get acquainted with somewhat tipsy gentlemen. After all, it is understandable without words, if a couple of dates proceed under alcoholic vapors, then everyone else will not be better, but, nevertheless, relationships are established and often develop down the aisle. I myself personally witnessed such acquaintances, more than once.

Alphonse

Let women disagree with me in this statement of mine, but they peck at gigolos how much in vain. I agree, these guys are an order of magnitude more active than usual, and outwardly they win, but the result of such a connection is predictable. And, nevertheless, women get acquainted with gigolos as before. But I know why this happens - every lady is so confident in her irresistibility that she thinks that this handsome guy, from whom all her friends are crazy, will stop on her. I know guys who ride the ball like this all their lives, taking advantage of female kindness and stupidity. But this does not mean at all that I condemn such alfonsik, maybe in the life of these guys women offended much worse.

womanizer

An offensive nickname, since it was invented by the women themselves and in which it gives off a negative. I would call - lovers of women. Among men there is such a group that you don’t feed with bread, let me hold on to my chest, by the way, I refer myself to this category of men. Women are drawn to such, because everything that is needed from a male male can be obtained here with interest. For men of this mindset, every woman becomes desirable, it is precisely this weakness that ladies take advantage of, making acquaintances with womanizers. Yes, there is a turnover, but everyone breaks up, leaving in the heart a piece of the happiness that they managed to get in a short period of this very mental-genital contact.

thieves

Many women dream of a non-feminized man who is able to prove himself in the role of a real male, peremptory, cool and sexy. As a rule, such qualities are possessed by people who have gone through a harsh school of life in places of deprivation of liberty. Usually those ladies who are eager to be enslaved in everything, to fulfill any whims of their man at their first desire, are attracted to such, while not burdening themselves with unnecessary thoughts. The more correct the upbringing, the more such a beauty is drawn to thieves asocial elements, and according to my observations, this is natural.

Botany

For botanists, that is, those representatives of the male world who are imprisoned for mental labor to the detriment of physical labor, the attraction of women as women is extremely limited. But only as long as the botanist teaches in a parochial school according to the tenth grid. But as soon as a prospect appears, or abstruse ancestors throw a bespectacled man a sickly inheritance such as a five-room apartment in an elite house, he has many admirers among the opposite sex, and even his own. Yes, and in the era of junkies - aliks - queers, even nerds look like desirable males, but what to do with the weaker sex, you want to live a sexual life.

gay

Women in male form, as well as men who prefer men, are also in demand among the weaker sex. The fact is that in some social strata belonging to sexual minorities has not yet been fully registered. And the so-called gays have to disguise themselves as straight people. Knowing this alignment, many beauties make acquaintances in such an environment, since you can not only make a career, but also become a disguise for a high-ranking lover of male affection. Among my friends there are such girls and not one, especially since it is not forbidden to go to the left like that.

Goblins

To this class of male natures youngsters gravitate, and those ladies who grew up with the idea of ​​a cool partner in all matters. Strong shoulders and a shaved head for many to this day is a symbol of future prosperity and success in all endeavors. That is why such guys, if they really represent what girls dream of, are in extraordinary demand in acquaintances. And it does not matter that many are overfed with steroids and have read only a few pages of the primer - for some women this is not an indicator at the initial stage of dating.

virgins

There are nerds who excel in monosex and just crave to have a cool “chick”, and there are nerds who don’t care about sex at all, because mom drummed from childhood that this is not just a dirty business, but also ungrateful. Under the yoke of irrefutable evidence, guys grow virgins not only on the head, but also on the head too. Oddly enough, but not only similar virgins are interested in such acquaintances, but also the real tear-offs. Yes, as a support and domestic workforce, many girls who have seen life get acquainted with virgins, since it is easy and simple to mislead "stupid people".

Married

For many women, acquaintances with already busy men are typical, since there is an opportunity to see what they will be like in business, and in the body at the same time. Of course, there are some difficulties with winning back a guy from an old girlfriend, but if the game is worth the candle, then why not fight. Again, if the man himself does not mind, the task is simplified further.

lovers

The most common along the way is acquaintance for the sake of love adventures, where sexual intercourse is naturally intertwined. Acquaintance with a lover can occur in parallel with any other types of acquaintances, so it is characteristic of all subspecies of the penisless community.

Majors

The craving for a comfortable existence is characteristic of the vast majority of women on our planet. It's understandable, it's all genetic. And who can give such well-being is the one who has money. One of these divisions in the male environment is the majors, that is, the children of wealthy parents, all sorts of stars there, in short, idols. It is they who are constantly hunted by the weaker sex, while this kind of acquaintance is considered an extraordinary success.

junkies

At a transitional age, many girls fall into the negative and do everything possible to oppose themselves to the whole wide world. It was at this moment that guys with “pissing eyes”, uninhibited and imposing, appeared on their horizon, for whom life in this world had already ended, and in another had not yet begun. For some reason, it has become fashionable to touch the drug culture, and to enter it you need a friend. Then you will have to curse such an acquaintance for the rest of your life, while the fading consciousness will try to remember at least something, but at first such a partnership looks cool.

daddy

Everything looks unambiguous here - either the care that was not received in childhood from the male parent, or the desire to become independent, thanks to the connections and money of a male already formed in all respects. As a rule, those ladies who choose to meet these same daddies often have something to show and something to say too.

The righteous

A small group of men who, for some reason beyond their control, preach something bright, unshakable and eternal. Naturally, those women who are disappointed with ordinary life or are fed up with it get acquainted with such. It is good if such righteous people are not charlatans of some sect, but this happens extremely rarely. Basically, for the weaker sex, such an acquaintance does not change anything, only mentally it is arranged in a slightly different light.

snotty

Pedophilia is not only characteristic of men, many ladies are also not averse to luring a snotty youth into their networks, who will listen to her speeches and actions with his mouth open. Yes, and shaking the memories of youth is quite an exciting thing, some endorphins, how many will raise to the surface. The steeper the status of a woman, the more often she breaks through to meet young guys, and this is a fact.

old farts

Basically, marriage swindlers, as well as just swindlers, get acquainted with men of advanced age, since a daddy is enough for a normal woman for such purposes. But if with that it is necessary to at least imitate ordinary life, the old man can be fooled in full. The greater the assets of such an old fart, the greater his chances of being attacked by women for the purpose of dating. No, ordinary old men can also hope for a similar alignment, women's needs are different for everyone, and if you give one an apartment, gold, money, others will be quite satisfied with a glass of moonshine ...

hard workers

Ordinary men have not yet died out on earth, who, as always, are the absolute majority, at least in our vast expanses. Naturally, for every woman there is not enough representative of the profitable categories of the male brotherhood, so we have to be content with what we have.

Drones

Among women there are so-called masochists, that is, persons who like to create problems for themselves. It is these people who, with some kind of inner instinct, figure out such a man, whose victim they will become. They work three jobs, raise a bunch of children and support their male, who cannot find a job in any way, but only does what he uses the services of his passion.

Kettles

The same snotty ones, as well as those who remain snotty until old age, are ranked by me as teapots, that is, novice users of relationships with the opposite sex. Such guys are in demand not so much, but if they have some features, then they will not be left without those who want to get to know them. It is later that ladies can see the light, but initially they also occupy a worthy place in the ranking of women's preferences.

Clearly, I could not embrace all male statuses, but if you wish, you can find yourself at any intermediate stage. Tellingly, there are no settling objects for partner intersexual acquaintances. I agree that none of the women will look for an outright wino, but if he refuses to talk with the green snake at least until such time as to sober up, wash and shave, then acquaintance with the fair sex is guaranteed to him.

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Laws of female attractiveness. What kind of women do men prefer?

1. Appearance

Men, first of all, look at the appearance of a woman. It is she who “catches” in the first place, and then already: intellect, education, mind, social status, financial situation, character, talents, etc., etc. I perfectly understand that not all lucky women can be dazzlingly beautiful from nature. Although we, Russian women, Slavs have a lot of genetics. And you can “wake up” dormant beauty. This will take time and effort. But it's worth it. However, each of us can become a well-groomed Woman! And this is very much appreciated by the opposite sex. A woman who takes care of herself is very attractive to "aliens from Mars." So it has always been and so it will be! Men appreciate not only because it is beautiful. He takes care of himself, so he will take care of him. Hardworking, attentive, finds time. Such a scenario develops in the male head.

A modern woman should take care of her health and carefully look after her appearance. Fatigue, irritation, health problems instantly affect the behavior and appearance.

Most men prefer natural beauty. Now there are many programs on TV, where, with all the honest people, "the plaster is being removed." But because the time has come, “natural beauty” is in fashion. Therefore, artificial hair and eyelashes, unnatural color, long false nails, a huge amount of cosmetics, a huge amount of tattoos are not in fashion today. Some people like it, but they are a minority. Well-groomed teeth and oral cavity should be; hair - lush and soft, which you want to touch, stroke; skin is clean and matte; nails - smooth, well-groomed, strong. Well-groomedness and style should be in clothes. Everyday including. Suits and dresses are fresh, ironed, shoes polished. From this, the image of an attractive lady who "pleases the eye" is formed. And it's always nice. It would seem so simple ... But well-groomed is much less than, say ... lazy.

2. Inner peace

Femininity. Sometimes, to please men, it is enough just to be yourself. Femininity is already in our nature. If we “beat our breasts”, prove something, argue and compete with men, then, without a doubt, we deserve respect, but ... not love. A woman wants to see a “support” nearby, a strong and courageous man. And a man wants to protect and protect, take care and look after. A woman, her family. Carry on your hands, sometimes argue. But "on the case" and, of course, emerge victorious from an intellectual brawl. As everywhere and in everything. Therefore, in women, men value softness, pliability, caring, kindness, fidelity, flexibility, diplomacy in communication, love for animals and children, good manners, upbringing. He will not want to take care of the one who behaves cynically, swears and "performs" rude acts. He competes, constantly proves something, "vomits" and "stands on his own." He wants to stroke the “soft and fluffy”, and so that she later stroked him, regretted it. Men are very fond of affection.

We tirelessly repeated that there must be some kind of mystery in a woman. There must be some secret in it. Yes, of course, and the riddle is welcome, and the charm, and confidence in one's own strengths and charms. Studies have shown that men are attracted to feminine harmony. That is, a little bit of everything. This applies to external data, intellect, mentality, spiritual development. A woman who feels loved and loves is a strong woman.

Inner confidence is reflected in the manner of behavior, appearance and the ability to "present" oneself. A woman, like a magnet, attracts those around her. Including men.

Have you noticed that when a girl is lonely, then no one ... “sticks” to her ?! Pattern. A "demanded" person is always interesting. A swarm of admirers winds around her. Men are closer to nature, they are somehow drawn to the "desired" and "in demand" by some inner instinct. Such “wonderful girls” sparkle by themselves, radiating optimism and a positive attitude towards life.

“Everything in a person should be beautiful: the face, and clothes, and the soul, and thoughts.”

The great A.P. Chekhov clearly wrote about the Woman. He himself was a connoisseur of female beauty (“Antonov apples,” as his fans called him). They surrounded the writer constantly, in large numbers. But he did not "nest" with anyone. For a long time I was looking for my ideal woman and I found it. Knipper-Chekhov. A smart, attractive, experienced woman who knows her own worth. They were "equal fighters". “You can’t go around with a horse!” That’s what they said about Olga Knipper. Slowly they converged, dispersed, converged again. Then: romance, marriage, together to the end. Chekhov knew that he was terminally ill. And she knew. Love completely consumed both. And she was neither dazzlingly beautiful, nor fantastically intelligent, nor young. However, her energy, love of life and joyful character poured into the great writer like a “living stream”. They gave strength. This is what "sex appeal" is.

A woman, first of all, should feel like a Woman. Born to love, be happy and make your loved ones happy. Inner confidence in one’s beauty and a sense of purpose will be transferred to appearance, as well as the manner of holding on, dressing, behaving “in public” and at home. A positive attitude, a sincere attitude towards people, towards men - all this will not be slow to affect her personal fate. It will attract useful people and interested representatives of the opposite sex to life. She is such an ideal woman, a magnet for men.

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Favorite hair color

Dream men Megan Fox - brunette

It was expected that gentlemen still preferred blondes, however. More than half of the men who chose a dark-haired girl voted for brunettes. The rest chose brown-haired. 30% of respondents voted for blond hair and only 10% of respondents opted for red hair.

Favorite eye color

Megan Fox with gray-blue eyes is again in the top of men's preferences

As for eye color, according to the survey, blue-eyed people should have the most admirers. A girl with blue eyes would be chosen by 40% of respondents. The second place belongs to the brown-eyed (about 30%), girls with green eyes close the top three (13%), and the owners of light brown eyes are fourth.

Favorite size

From the point of view of the majority of respondents, the figure of the British model and actress Kelly Brook can be called ideal.

Kelly Brook with boyfriend

It turned out that . Girls from 46 to 50 sizes are in second place. Too thin (size 40-42) and beauties with very impressive volumes (more than size 50) remain unclaimed. 10% and 4% of men respectively voted for these categories.

For the sake of the purity of the experiment, the social network also interviewed French, Spanish, Italian, American and Brazilian men (Russians, unfortunately, were not covered). Oddly enough, blondes, oddly enough, were not put in the first place in any country - brunettes won an unconditional victory. For most of the respondents, the ideal was a dark-haired, not too thin girl with blue eyes.

Favorite celebrity

This is how one of the sketches of the ideal woman looks like, which was compiled according to the results of the survey.

Here is another, more detailed one, here Gogol and his ingenious from the play “Marriage” are immediately recalled: “If Nikanor Ivanovich’s lips were put to Ivan Kuzmich’s nose ...”

Designer Olesya Malinskaya

By the way, in Russia we have such a revived identikit and a walking fruit of male fantasies - Olesya Malinskaya.

There is another study that was conducted by the MTV channel. A survey of 2,400 men showed that the representatives of the stronger sex dream of a girl with languid eyes and full lips Scarlett Johansson...

With a miniature nose Mila Kunis...

And magnificent forms of the same Scarlett or Kelly Brook.

Researchers Anthony Little from the University of Stirling and Benedict Jones from the University of Glasgow found that a man decides whether to be his new lover or wife, first of all evaluating her facial features.

Men were asked to look at photographs of various female faces and say which of the girls in the photo they would like to spend the evening with, a. Men chose for a date for one evening photographs of girls with soft, feminine features: a miniature chin, plump cheeks, softly outlined eyebrows. Well, for a serious relationship, they preferred women with more brutal facial features.

So, imagine the model Keith Upton, the dream of teenagers and older men ...

In terms of living together, it would seem to the respondents less reliable than, for example, Gwyneth Paltrow.

Everything is explained simply. It turns out that less feminine and less attractive girls are associated with long-term relationships and family, because men believe that such girlfriends in life will cheat less.

Photo credits: Daily Mail , 1hdwallpapers.com, www.cosmopolitan.com, http://www.scarlettjohanssonfans.co.uk, http://www.celebritypic.tk, www.apnatimepass.com.

Family psychologist, interpersonal relationship consultant, director of the Me and You dating agency Elena Kuznetsova told how modern men want to see women.

1. Beautiful and well-groomed

The parameters 90 * 60 * 90, notorious for many ladies, are still popular with the representatives of the stronger sex. A slender woman is preferable to donuts. But a good figure and a pleasant face are far from all the requirements for men: the stronger sex wants the ladies to be well-groomed. An unwashed head or can ruin the whole thing.

Many young men refused to meet unkempt women. For example, from afar, a girl of model appearance, but upon closer inspection, a man sees that the young lady has unkempt skin. The novel ends before it starts. All men, not only status men, pay attention to grooming, Kuznetsova states.

2. Romantic

Romance is back in fashion today. According to the director of a dating agency, when describing a woman they would like to see next to them, younger men often voice their desire for a romantic young lady. More mature men mean it.

Romance is understood as femininity both in appearance and in behavior, the psychologist clarifies. - A woman should not have a loud or low voice, use foul language, and neigh like a horse. She should be smiling, with a radiant look, with soft gestures.

3. Self-sufficient and working

The demand for self-sufficiency is more often made by men of higher status, notes Kuznetsova, and explains why this item is so important for the representatives of the stronger sex.

A woman should always be busy with something, she should have a hobby, because idleness leads to personality degradation, and then the lady becomes uninteresting to her chosen one.

This also explains the fact that men today prefer working women. True, there are nuances here. An older, but rich man, on the contrary, may insist that his lady does not work and sit at home - it’s calmer this way, there is less chance that the young lady will be “taken away”.

A self-sufficient man who chooses a partner of an adequate age, nevertheless, to a greater extent wants to see a like-minded person and an interesting interlocutor next to him, therefore he prefers a working woman. Or - if she does not work anywhere, she must do her own thing: paint pictures, cross-stitch, do charity work, etc. At the same time, it is better if a woman is not stronger and more successful than a man in any area.

If a woman does nothing at all, this will definitely be reflected in her head, which is fraught with consequences in a relationship. An empty-headed lady, no matter how super-beautiful she may be, is of no interest to anyone, - the psychologist summed up.

4. Household

The ability to cook and manage the household is an important female skill in the eyes of a man. And a lady's statement that she does not like to do any women's housework will set the partner against her.

Even if a male restaurateur or a male chef, he will be pleased if you at least know how. No one needs an armless woman, says Elena Kuznetsova.

5. Listening

If men meet a "woman-ears", they are immensely happy. Moreover, this woman can be incredibly stupid, but if she makes a smart face and sits with an understanding look and listens to her partner, this is the ideal woman for him. And any man, with a different level of intelligence, thinks that his counterpart is as smart as he is.

5. Calm

A calm woman who knows how to compromise is a gift of fate. The director of the dating agency notes that most of her clients of the opposite sex voice a specific requirement - “so that they don’t “saw” and don’t make a fuss.”

Yes, creating intrigue never hurts in a relationship, and the carrot and stick method is perhaps the most effective, but it’s important not to overdo it with the “stick,” says Elena Kuznetsova.

Hysterical women who make daily scandals with or without cause are afraid of men like fire. Another thing is that a lady sometimes allows herself to provoke a quarrel, this will only warm up the relationship.

6. Sharing all the hobbies of a man

If at the initial stage of the relationship a woman loves a man more than he loves her, the lady will have to try very hard to keep her beloved. She will have to temporarily forget about her personal life and her interests and completely share the man's hobbies. Otherwise, a woman risks losing her chosen one.

When you just want to please a man, try to be his best friend in everything. He is on and you are with him. He is skiing and you are skiing. He is for football and you are for football. You need to tame a man, let him know that you can be his reliable companion, friend, comrade and brother, the psychologist advises.

Then, when a woman realizes that a man is "hooked" and can no longer do without her, she can begin to "wobble", but only very dosed and carefully.

In the event that at the initial stage of the relationship a man is more interested in a lady, she should give him “instructions for use” about herself: what she can, loves and wants in life. In order to avoid scandals in the future, it is worth telling the man that you will take into account his interests, but let him respect yours. For example, on Wednesdays from five to seven you go to the embroidery circle, and you are not going to give up this lesson.

Helpful information

Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Me and You dating agency, family psychologist. Phone 8-920-909-62-35.

7. Faithful

This point does not need any comments. Men want to have not just a beautiful woman next to them, but a faithful, understanding and reliable girlfriend, a la Nadezhda Konstantinovna Krupskaya.

8. Good mistress

Each man has individual expectations about this, but the general trend is this: no one loves, therefore, in sex, in no case should one be indifferent.

One of the tips that a psychologist gives is to “mirror” a partner. If a man is impulsive, you should play along with him, because he will definitely not like a cold woman. If the chosen one is calm, perhaps you should not bring down a volcano of passion on him.

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Research shows that there are obvious romantic benefits to the "mystery stranger" strategy, which is different from "her boyfriend" behavior. “The halo of easy inaccessibility of a possible partner unconsciously makes him unusual and rare in our eyes, and the opportunity to get close to him turns us into such a person,” says social psychologist Robert Cialdini (Robert Cialdini). “However, at the first meeting, detachment can play against us, however, there is a significant difference in the attitude of men and women towards this.” Men like it when, at the first meeting, they notice sincere interest in girls, signals of readiness to continue communication, while women prefer that a man maintain some distance.

Who do men prefer: the effect of openness

The third experiment repeated the first, but those participants who evaluated the interlocutors of the opposite sex were also asked a question about possible long-term relationships with them. Interestingly, the results of all three studies varied by gender. Men noted that women who were kind, considerate, and responded with sympathy seemed to them more feminine. They were called sexually attractive and were chosen as possible romantic partners. On women, such male openness and friendliness did not make the same strong impression. They liked or disliked the interlocutors, regardless of how attentive and interested they showed themselves. “Men are attracted to clarity in relationships and the signals from women that motivate them to move on and be more active are important,” says Gurit Birmbaum. They like to see a woman open, showing warmth and showing attention and interest. This is important at the first meeting. In the future, a woman may begin to play a different role, allowing a man to achieve it. Thus, she often wins if she allows a slight flirtation with the man she is interested in and is happy to keep up a conversation with him.

Who do women prefer: gallant distance

Why are women often skeptical of men who frankly demonstrate their special interest and sympathy at the first meeting? “Excessive male attention from a stranger makes a woman wary - she can read it as a ostentatious demonstration in order to get it just for sex,” says Gurit Birbaum. “Therefore, men at the first meeting and subsequent meetings are more likely to win if they give a woman literally more space, that is, maintain a physical distance. This helps her to feel more comfortable in communicating with a new acquaintance, to feel that she is safe and the interest in her is quite sincere. A study by psychologists Lee Ann Renninger, Joel Wade, and Carl Grammer on how men are most effective at getting women's attention shows that those who make eye contact without breaking while the comfort zone of his new friend 2 . In practice, this means that, having met, they joke and communicate not only with her, but also with those who are around. Thus, a woman has the opportunity to observe and evaluate a man from the outside, in a safe environment.

Research by social psychologists Bob Fennis and sociologist Marielle Stel also proves the importance of non-verbal contact with a person of the opposite sex in first encounters 3 . The authors note that those who, at the very first meeting, spoke quietly, did not allow active gestures, and slightly moved away during the conversation, so as not to violate the psychologically comfortable space for the interlocutor, turned out to be in a winning position. “If you are attentive enough to a person, then you will feel the moment when he is more relaxed,” says psychologist Jeremy Nicholson. “As a rule, your counterpart is more confident in making eye contact, starts smiling, and leans in your direction when talking.” “This is especially important when meeting people of the opposite sex and for men it turns out to be the moment when they can move on to a more active phase in communication,” emphasizes Bob Fennis. “Use more expressive gestures, intotone some words or expressions, lean a little closer towards the interlocutor when speaking, that is, allow yourself more emotionality.” At this stage, a woman gradually ceases to perceive a stranger as a potential threat, and if people like each other, then this can be the beginning of a closer and more trusting relationship.