You know how it happens, you set a goal, write a plan, start acting, and after a while you realize that you have not reached your goal and are generally far from it, as before.
Why is this happening? He did everything according to the rules. Learned everything. But no. Didn't come.
Why is this happening? What reasons can be?
Laziness
Yes, sheer laziness. When you let yourself be lazy just one little time, just one. And it can lead to another and another. It seems to you that a trifle, nothing will happen. But instead, your goal doesn't happen.
One little laziness leads to another. It grows like a snowball of unfulfilled small steps towards the goal, it falls on you and throws you far back. To the very start. And someone beyond. And you blame anyone, but very rarely yourself.
defocus
What does it mean? This is when, in addition to the main goal, you begin to notice something else. When, in addition to the main actions, you have something else in your plans.
Of course, you can always ask yourself the question - but what I'm doing now will bring me closer to the goal? But be honest, how often do you really ask it to yourself? And when there is no focus, when there are a lot of unnecessary actions, there may appear new goal. And you will go after her, forgetting about the first one. Until at some point you discover that this new goal has taken you not at all where you originally wanted.
You suddenly find yourself in the middle of a huge field, or even a desert, where both your goals are like a mirage. You are far from them, as ever. And you understand that you have to go back to the very beginning. Goal setting and planning. And time has passed. It can't be returned...
Lack of a supportive environment
So, you have an idea that fires you up. There is a clear plan. You share your idea with your surroundings and meet irony in your eyes, distrust, or they just say to you: "What are you? Are you crazy? This is nonsense! Don't go there! You won't succeed!"
And then your limiting beliefs come up, which tell you: “Is it really me? Why did you suddenly decide what will work out? It never worked out, but then suddenly it happened once?
And that's it. The target is buried alive.
I named only three main reasons, but each of them can be broken down into small ones. Where there is laziness, there are also excuses and incorrectly set priorities. Defocusing is also priorities, sometimes the inability to refuse, vanity in actions, imitation of violent activity, lack of control over the results. And in the third paragraph, these are beliefs, and fears, and the environment, and demotivation.
How to deal with all this?
Very simple. Badding will help here. Don't know what it is? I just found out myself. Highly interesting direction. Tactics to help you achieve your goal.
In short, Buddy is a person you trust, who is responsible for the result with you. His duty is to control your result if you need to softly or hard kick you to the goal. Asking you the question: "To what extent is what you are doing now moving you towards your goal?" Check to see if your plan has been completed.
It's very similar to coaching. But in coaching, only the client is responsible for the result. And the buddy helps you share the responsibility. Of course, no one will achieve your goal for you. But with the help of a buddy, it will be easier for you to do this. After all, you will have obligations to a person. You will have a certain controller who will constantly check the route of your goal. And won't let you get out of the way.
And if the buddy is also a coach, then this is generally cool. With such support, the result is guaranteed to you!
It often happens that we set goals for ourselves, which various reasons we cannot reach. Either you don’t want to do anything, then you are constantly distracted, then you think that you need to prepare even better and put it off indefinitely.
In this article, I would like to talk about how to properly motivate yourself to achieve your goals, what obstacles we have on the way and how to deal with them.
How do we set goals and what do they give us?
Everything seems to be simple here. We all know how to set goals: ambitious, large-scale, meeting SMART criteria.
It happens that we set ourselves a goal that needs to be fulfilled, wrote it down on paper and hung it on the wall. We look at it for a day, another, but nothing happens.
As in the poem by I. Huberman:
Sometimes you wake up like a bird
winged spring cocked,
and want to live and work;
but it goes away by breakfast.
And it happens differently when you were full of energy in the morning and jumped out of bed, burning with the desire to get to work. For example, when they were completing an exciting project or preparing for a wedding.
good, right aim should not be some kind of abstract dream, it should be a tool that will help you focus, understand right direction and feel the urgency.
So, having a goal gives you the following benefits:
- Concentration. When we clearly see final result what we want to achieve, our productivity increases significantly. Concentration gives mental calmness.
- Orientation. When you purposefully begin to solve some problem, for example, you start playing sports or at least doing exercises in the morning, then positive influence begins to manifest itself long before you see the first significant results - this feeling appears as soon as you start moving towards the goal. Success, energy and enthusiasm are largely determined by direction.
- Feeling of urgency. This feeling is manifested when you move quickly and purposefully. It happens that from the very morning you work quickly and efficiently, you don’t get distracted by nonsense, you don’t do unnecessary things, you don’t rush about like crazy, trying to do everything. A well-formulated goal energizes, brings a sense of excitement and urgency that will not arise if your life is ruled by chance.
How to set a goal so that it energizes
- The goal must be meaningful to you. It would seem that, the obvious thing but many people miss it. It is worth taking a closer look at this. Is it really important for you to achieve this goal or is it imposed by someone?
- The goal must be specific and measurable. Often we set goals to “lose weight,” “earn more money,” “meet a girl,” “increase sales,” and tend to avoid deadlines. These goals lack specificity. Our brain operates with images, it needs specifics, a clear picture of where it should lead you. When there is no clear picture, he does not lead you anywhere - his task is to ensure safety, to preserve Current state affairs.
- The target must be of the appropriate scale. The goal should be modest enough for you to believe in the reality of its implementation. For example, increase sales in next month 500% unlikely, but a 10-20% more realistic goal.
The goal should be big enough that you have to put in extra effort to achieve it, and that it causes you some discomfort. This will allow you to get out of your comfort zone and give you strength to carry it out. - The goal must be written down. This criterion is also often neglected. It is extremely important to offer your mind an image of success in combination with its description. Write down where it is convenient: in a notebook, on stickers, in organizers, task managers. There are supporters of writing only on paper, but this is a matter of taste. Perfect option- arrange the goal in the form of a collage, hang it in the place where he will always be in sight and regularly reread the goal.
- The goal should be repeated regularly. When you get used to the goals so much that they become part of you, then the fulfillment of such goals is almost guaranteed.
What to do if there are obstacles on the way to the goal?
You are determined to lose 5 kg by July 1 in order to look beautiful on the beach, but this week you have already missed going to the gym 2 times and are breaking your diet. Or you decide to increase sales by 30% this month, but you can’t find the motivation to make the right calls. As soon as we set about some business, obstacles inevitably arise. They are external and internal, and we sometimes perceive as external even those obstacles that we subconsciously created ourselves.
Obstacles can be emotional and mental.
Emotional obstacles
- Unwillingness to take 100% responsibility.
Symptoms: you begin to look for someone to blame for the fact that you do not succeed. You blame the failures on the government, the state of the economy, your wife (husband), children, a foolish boss, or lazy subordinates.
Solution:
You need to understand that taking responsibility and taking blame are two different things. By admitting guilt, you indicate that you did wrong, and you accept responsibility in order to face the truth.
When you think about the future, set a goal and begin to strive for it, this itself already means that you accept responsibility. You are 100% responsible for your life. - Not wanting to look stupid
This obstacle is called the fear of criticism, the fear of failure, or the "Imposter Syndrome." Most are afraid to appear in front of others in a ridiculous way.
Symptoms: looking for answers. In words, he is ready to move mountains, and then he finds reasons to evade the task.
Solution:
Develop a strategy to achieve your goal and don't give in to fear. Get out of your comfort zone. In the vast majority, the fear of looking stupid is based on a non-existent danger.
Make sure that the chosen goal is really meaningful to you. Write down on paper why you want to achieve this goal, what will accomplish this goal, how you will feel when you realize this goal. This will increase your focus. When you strive for something that really captivates, then the opinion of others is of little interest. By thinking positively and focusing on achieving the goal, you will drive out fear.
Find a partner or coach who will support you, encourage you, and to whom you will report on the achievement of the goal. - Unwillingness to act
The set goals require the implementation of certain actions and often very decisive ones. If you want to lose weight, you need to go to the gym; If you want to increase sales, you need to communicate with people. Of course, without your efforts, nothing will happen. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
Symptoms:
1) Procrastination - the tendency to delay action.
2) Analysis paralysis - a person collects a lot of data, studies literature, attends webinars, but never gets to work.
Solution:
Go back to goal setting. Is the goal really the right scale? In many ways, this obstacle is due to confusion and self-doubt.
Formulate the goal so that you can clearly see the finish line.
Take the first step, the main thing is to start. It is worth making 1-2 calls to clients or going to the gym for the first time, and then it’s much easier. Like a visit to the dentist, only the first time is scary.
mental obstacles
- Tendency to go astray.
Symptoms: I know what to come in good shape but the candies looked so tempting and they are so delicious. I sat down to write a letter to my partner, but suddenly I noticed how I had been playing solitaire for half an hour.
Solution:
Be specific and clear about your goals. In the absence of a clear and specific purpose the brain will always grab for the simplest and closest.
Since ancient times, the brain has been accustomed to notice everything unusual and pay attention to it. This skill was in high demand when a human could be attacked by a saber-toothed tiger, but now it allows us to be easily distracted. This requires strategy and willpower: find what usually leads astray and get rid of it. - Fear of the goal, unnecessary thoughts, overexertion
Symptoms: you feel that your goals are too ambitious or you feel too much excitement.
Solution:
Take time to think
Decompose the goal, divide it into digestible fragments. Write a clear sequence of steps to achieve the goal.
Turn goal achievement into a game. Decompose the goal and give yourself a small prize for reaching intermediate stages.
P.S. Set goals that energize you, and you will be lucky.
There are a lot of materials and techniques on the Internet that promise to make any person successful, help achieve goals and increase productivity. As you know, trust but verify.
We decided to tell why the goals remain unachieved. And also why blindly following all the recommendations will not make you successful.
"Not lazy people. There are goals that don't inspire." - Tony Robbins
Reason #1
Blind faith in productivity techniques. The author of each technique is the same person as you, with his own characteristics and cockroaches in his head. And his cockroaches might not get along with yours. In other words, what is good for a Russian is death for a German.
If you consciously want to improve your performance, spend Special attention individual choice of technique. Otherwise, there is a chance of harming yourself.
Reason #2
Unclear understanding of one's own motives and desires. Often people do things for the reason “because it’s necessary”, “my neighbor has it”, “it’s time”. own desires for some reason they don't count. As a result, the lack of one's goals leads to self-deception and the fulfillment of the goals of other people.
Doing what you do not need, do not expect from yourself to be productive. Because deep down you know that you don't need it. First of all, clearly answer the question: “What am I doing and why?”
Reason #3
Desire to get immediate results. No one will be able to become a powerful jock in one session in the gym. Likewise in any other matter. It seems to be understandable. But for some reason, many people get upset and quit without getting an instant result.
The road will be mastered by the walking one. Be patient, answer the question from the previous paragraph again and continue to work.
Reason #4
Everyone knows about your goals. You tell your friends and acquaintances about them, you look forward to success and are already rejoicing in it. Scientists have proven that the likelihood of achieving a goal decreases as everyone learns about your plans. more of people. The brain plays with us bad joke and, as it were, puts a tick “completed” in front of the open goal.
Do not waste energy - go to the goal silently.
Reason #5
Too much effort. It should be understood that productivity does not equal intensity. It's not a fact that working for 12 hours won't be more productive than a 6-hour workflow. But it will require more effort.
Distribute the forces correctly and enjoy the result.
By the way, if there is no strength at all, and the work does not fulfill itself and does not run away into the forest, use a 10% discount on.
Reason #6
Too many goals. People not only want it all at once, they also want everything. And if you want everything at once, your eyes will run wide, and your hands will not understand what to grab onto. In the end, you will take on something completely unnecessary.
Set your priorities.
Reason #7
Forgetfulness. For example, you want to learn how to draw. But remember this when you drive the car on the way home. At home, you watch a series, walk your dog, lie on the couch, or maybe do something useful. Attention dissipates, and it is possible to remember about drawing only the next day.
Write down your goal on a piece of paper and hang it where you can see it. This will help. Not for everyone, but it will help (see point 1).
Henry Ford is a man who knew exactly what he wanted. Here is what he said: "Obstacles are those terrible things that you see when you take your eyes off the goal."
Reason #8
Unattainable goals. More precisely, the goals that seem so. Having set a large goal for yourself, you can be scared, embarrassed, doubt your abilities and get scared.
To avoid this, break one large goal into several small, intermediate ones.
Reason #9
Lack of goals. You will say: "Thank you, cap!" But it's really a problem huge amount of people. As Stephen Covey said, "Because we don't know what's really important to us, everything seems to be important..."
Set a goal and life will become much more interesting.
Reason #10
procrastination. So much has already been said about her that I don’t even want to talk about it. Simple: beat procrastination, drive it away, it is the enemy!
How to achieve your goal
No one will achieve your own goals for you. But our student service will help to formulate and correctly reveal the goal of any term paper or thesis. Contact us! Our goal: to make your study easy and enjoyable. And we know how.
Of course, this figure is highly arbitrary. The Statistic Brain resource once encouraged its visitors to achieve a goal within the allotted time. It turned out that 92% (on average) of attempts were unsuccessful. 21.4% lost weight, 12.3% achieved established progress in self-development, 7.1% quit smoking, 4.3% found their dream job, and less than 5% succeeded in other goals.
They say that in any business the main thing is to start. That's true, but it's even harder to continue. Some psychologists say that most people, when they reach their goals, give up in the third week. Good news that there are some mistakes, avoiding which, you can increase the chances of getting into those same 8%. Here they are.
Goals not recorded
Study conducted in 2008 University of California showed that those who write down their goals are significantly more successful. After that, similar studies were conducted, which showed the same results.
Writing down a goal makes it more real and tangible. It seems to move from the category of “should be done” to “I will do it”, that is, it takes the form of an obligation. Agree, you have a lot of goals that you want to achieve, but do not do this for various reasons.
Get down to business now: think, take a piece of paper or a sticky note and write down 3 main goals for the coming months and 5-6 less global ones.
Goals are not related to the highest goal
When you plan for a year or more, do you think about whether the goals fit with your highest goal?
For example, your goal might be:
- Getting a promotion
- Weight normalization
- A radical change in character
- University admission
- Starting a business
- development with people
Get down to business now: ask yourself the question: “Why do I need this?”. Try to find the deepest answer. Use the technique "". Do you want to lose weight? Why? To become more slender and beautiful. What for? And so on, until you reach the highest value.
Lack of strategy
Almost everyone has problems with this. The goal is set, but there is no strategy to achieve it.
Why is a strategy needed? With its help, you will be able to understand in advance what and how you will do, what resources to use, what people to rely on, how to track progress, receive feedback. It answers the question "How am I going to achieve my goal?".
For example, you want to create your own business, but do not have all the skills. There are two obvious strategies in this regard: improve skills or hire people who have them. If it takes 2-3 years to improve a skill, then perhaps you should still turn to other people. But if this ability is key, then develop it.
Get down to business now: Since creating a strategy is a complex and creative business, give yourself enough time to get started. You may decide that you need to review your goals every day and change them if necessary. Or get to know the right person. These are all elements of a strategy.
Lack of action plan
Setting goals is important, but without a clear understanding of your actions, they will remain dreams.
Creating an action plan is necessary because a mental map will immediately form in your head. And it is best to draw it by hand and every day look at what point you are.
One of the most common mistakes is not to divide the goal into small steps. This is important to do, because it will allow you to track progress and get motivation, to understand that you are going in the right direction.
Get down to business now: draw mental map or create an action plan. What can you do specifically today to get closer to your goal? What should be done every day?
Low expectations and lack of faith in yourself
A person who has repeatedly set goals and not achieved them loses confidence and lowers his goals. Losing 1 kilogram of weight in a month is an insignificant goal, you don’t even need it. It can be done, but such a goal will not change you internally.
Get down to business now: reconsider your goals and if they seem easily achievable, increase the requirements for yourself. Also keep practicing to become more confident.
We wish you good luck!
