“You scratched your side, hit the joint with the car,” the car wash manager squealed. I calmly replied to him: “well, I hit it - it means I hit it, where to turn the steering wheel?”. I must admit, my reaction to this event was very optimistic, because. the grinding sound was just terrible, as if I had turned the whole side of the car.
In fact, if you want to become a successful person, you need to try to be in an optimistic mood, because. problems will occur in any case, and optimism will help not to lose heart in a difficult moment. When I scratched the car, I knew perfectly well that I had already screwed up and there was no point in shedding tears about this - it’s much more productive to ask for help so that they can turn me out of difficult situation without further damage. Well-known entrepreneurs say that they try not to think about the bad, including past mistakes. In particular, they talked about this and. Optimism is one of.
If you consider that pessimism is not a very constructive thing, then you should think about how to become an optimist. Psychologists even note that those people who constantly think about the bad seem to attract trouble into their lives or simply fixate on them. More optimistic people prefer to move on and generally try not to think about the negative.
In addition, do not forget about psychosomatics. When a person is constantly in a tense state, he begins to suffer from both neurological disorders and problems such as high blood pressure.
How to become an optimist
The first thing to do is to stop and look around. What do you say to others and what do you think? If you complain a lot about the wrong thing, or if there are a lot of people with negative thoughts and words, then this is the first signal that. what to think about. For starters, just stop whining and complaining. Otherwise, the effect " self-fulfilling prophecy". It is when negative thoughts eventually materialize. often underestimated. Moreover, you must control not only your words, but also try to follow your own thoughts.
In addition, if you constantly whine, your environment is unlikely to like it either. It is much better to stick to an active life position. Not enough money for something? Do something to raise your salary. Did not work out? Do something else. For example, ask for a raise. If it doesn't help, change your job to a better paying one. Much more valuable action.
Think and act with optimism in your eyes
American psychologists represented by Martin Seligman, even the most seasoned pessimist can be taught optimism. It is not so difficult. You just need to consciously adjust your thoughts, just as people who are prone to fullness consciously adjust their diet. It can be difficult to do this, but once thinking positively (or watching your diet) becomes a habit, you will no longer be the pessimist we once meant.
The main thing is mental attitude. You need to believe in yourself and at the same time not look back. Digging into past failures is bad idea- says the famous Russian businessman Oleg Tinkov. Try to act as if you are absolutely sure of the success of your actions (even if you are not). By changing your actions and thoughts, you become a different person, and yours will gradually gain strength.
How self-programming works
We have already written about such techniques as . I still don't have much faith in these two methods. And despite this, I personally made sure that these methods really work in practice. I am not inclined to give the same visualization some magical properties the forces of the universe, as described in the movie The Secret. I think that a person achieves his goals thanks to the power of the subconscious. You set a clear goal, visualize it, and the brain eventually finds a solution to the problem.
How to relate to your achievements and fuck-ups?
In case of failure, you should not constantly engage in self-flagellation. should be philosophical: admit the mistake, learn a lesson for yourself and move on. At the same time, you should not shift the blame for your failures to other people. Even if this is objectively true, it is much more useful to honestly admit that somewhere you really made a mistake and allowed it to happen. And problems are better not to exaggerate, but to undertake specific steps for their solution. So it will be psychologically easier to hold the blow and the result will be better.
Set specific goals for yourself and plan to achieve them
When you do not have specific goals and objectives or they are too vague, then you are unlikely to come close to achieving them (although this happens!). They say work is the best medicine from many ailments. For a busy person there just isn't enough time to go into negative thinking. He and then does specific actions. He inevitably squints while working. But he is positive and he learns from his mistakes.
If the work does not bring proper pleasure, then perhaps you are engaged in unloved thing and it’s time for you to change your field of activity, or at least devote more time to your favorite hobby. I never understood people who hate their jobs. So not for long and work out to a heart attack. Live for your pleasure.
Live life to the fullest
To be honest, now my business affairs are much worse than a year ago. But I don't make a tragedy out of it. The business is still profitable, because. I cut costs to almost zero values (there will soon be nothing to cut). This is a big plus that will help you get more profit in the future when things stabilize. In addition, I took advantage of the decrease in income and made radical step- Started dieting. This is how I fix my body. And next summer I plan to have a cool bike season. I have already saved up enough money so that I can not work all summer, I bought lights for a bicycle. In short, I enjoy life despite some temporary difficulties. What I advise all readers to do.
Do some sports
Sport really helps fight stress and makes you more optimistic than you really are. Changes occur at the hormonal level. Plus, you start to look better and younger than usual.
By the way, you should also put your diet in order. In the book Sugar Free, the authors write that the abuse of sweets can lead to depression and a number of other health problems. There will be no time for optimism.
Choose your social circle wisely
We already wrote above about that, on him. If there are depressed people and whiners in your environment, then you yourself risk becoming one. Try to communicate with optimists. And if it is impossible to protect yourself from these people, then you need to make efforts so that their negative does not affect you in any way.
Pessimism is also needed
However, you should not wear rose-colored glasses and look at life through the eyes of a happy idiot. Sometimes the qualities of a pessimist are also needed. When starting any project, you need to understand that it may not work out or something may go wrong. In this case, you can make sure. For example, when going to a performance, you need to have several copies of the presentation, including on a flash drive, CD and on the Internet, so that if something goes wrong, the performance will still be successful. You also need to prepare and remember the speech, but just in case, also take a piece of paper with you if you are completely at a loss. Do you understand the train of thought? Try to be an optimist, but at the same time soberly evaluate general situation to make meaningful decisions.
Find something that can get you on positive tone. It could be good music in the player, meditation, helping other people. Smile more. A good mood can be contagious. Have sex with your loved one - this will have a very good effect on the general mood. And don't think bad at night. Pamper yourself and try to do what makes you truly happy.
An optimist and a pessimist are two opposites: one looks at the world with hope, lives by faith in the future, and minor adversities are not a reason for him to be upset and plunge into a state of depression. The other, on the contrary, is able to get annoyed because of a minor trouble, believes that there is nothing good and never will be, and is inclined to see himself as a realist.
A pessimistic attitude towards life is a hindrance to many people and is usually the result of constant failure, stress, and persistent depression. A person who gets used to a pessimistic attitude, even when there is no objective reasons is called a pessimist. Let's figure out how to get rid of this condition and become a cheerful optimist.
Self-tuning
“How to be an optimist if there are so many problems around, examples of suffering and there is no way to fix it?” - any pessimist will say. But here much depends on the person himself: indeed, it is not always possible to correct the problems of others, but it is in the power of everyone to do so in order to improve their situation. You need to take the position that a person is the creator of his own destiny, and the deeds done today will bear fruit tomorrow, and therefore you need to try to make your future easier now. Success makes a person an optimist, so you need to tune in to victories and do everything possible to achieve them.
The problem of accusations
Many pessimists do not even want to know how to become an optimist, because they consider the latter to be those who look at the world through “rose-colored glasses”, not noticing how many sad events happened through their own fault.
Self-flagellation or blaming others for your failures is another trait of a pessimist that needs to be eliminated. The following position is appropriate here: “yes, today I became the culprit of my failure, but tomorrow I will become the“ culprit ”of my success.” Taking the initiative into your own hands is what will make a cheerful person out of a pessimist.
Environmental influence
Surely many pessimists who were once optimistic people are interested in how to become an optimist if there are only others like them around. The environment renders big influence on a person, and prolonged contact can even lead to a change in worldview. If there are pessimistic friends around, then there are three options for getting out of the situation:
- Not the best - to go into seclusion.
- More acceptable - increase the circle of friends by replenishing their ranks with people with
- The best thing is to make pessimistic friends optimists.
Music
If a person is fond of music that catches up with depression, and constantly listens to songs about how terrible life is, then, naturally, his thoughts will flow in this direction. Therefore, before becoming an optimist, you first need to stop listening to minor melodies and switch to "major".
Use of "fashionable" trainings
Now visualization techniques are very popular, where psychologists say that and therefore you need to think only positively. For those who want to know how to become an optimist, these classes will be very useful: thinking positively is a real art that needs to be learned.
From a smile it will become brighter for everyone
Optimists often smile, not because everything is so cloudless in their lives, but because they believe in the good and wait for the future with enthusiasm and curiosity. Pessimists are afraid of the future, and on their face a smile is very rare (except perhaps sarcastic).
Scientists have proven that if then his thoughts become positive, and his mood rises. Therefore, pessimists need to smile more often: first, force themselves by deliberately forming a smile, and then it will appear more often on the face without conscious coercion.
Thus, to become an optimist, you do not need to make super efforts, you just need to slightly adjust your behavior.
Optimistic people are healthier, happier, and more successful than people whose weekdays are as gloomy as Monday mornings. Optimists smile more often, are liked by everyone and easily cope with their problems. Positive emotions help them move forward without dwelling on their fails, and minor troubles do not leave a trace in their eternally sunny soul.
Sounds tempting? Optimism is not a gift from heaven and you can change your life position to a more positive one, and 5 tips will tell you how to do it.
Don't Tie Happiness to Success
“I don’t have a car, so I’m unhappy”, “I’m not as sociable and brave as I should be” - people find thousands of reasons that supposedly interfere with their happiness, and they think that if these reasons are eliminated, eternal high will come. If you think so, you are wrong.
Happiness does not come from outside, it comes from within.
Do not set conditions for your happiness and do not demand anything from yourself. Success will make you happy and failure will make you sad, but if you do not tie your happiness to the achievement of a goal, you can find pleasure in any moment, and not feel unhappy just because you don't have a car or a bunch of friends.
Surround yourself with positive people
The mood is in the air like bacteria, and a smile from ear to ear is just as infectious as grumbling and irritability. Optimists try to communicate with their own kind and avoid grouchy and spiteful people.
The optimist feels that life is too short to waste it on people who emit poison for any reason and spread gloomy emanations.
Just what you need
An optimist will not waste his time on what he is not interested in, but "right" or "prestigious" according to public concepts. Positive people have the courage to live by their own rules without caring what others think of them.
It is impossible to be an optimist if you constantly give up your desires for the sake of public opinion. When they tear internal contradictions What kind of optimism is there?
Don't give up on your goals because of obstacles
Optimists like everyone else successful people, creative approach to tasks and do not give up in case of trouble. They know that they will never have everything they need and make do with what they have at the moment.
Steve Jobs did not panic when he did not have enough money to start a business: he sold his only vehicle - VW Microbus.
Walt Disney did not become depressed when he was told that Mickey Mouse was "a giant mouse that only scares women." He pushed his project forward, and look how Mickey is treated today.
Donald Trump went bankrupt four times (in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009) and each time his ingenuity helped him rise again. Back in 2011, his fortune was estimated at $2.9 billion.
Life is not fair. And that's ok
So many people get upset, angry, or give up because life should be fair by their standards. They are offended like children: “Oh, so! Have I been treated unfairly? Then I won’t do anything, and let me feel bad.”
Optimists know that life is not fair: someone was born in a palace, someone in a slum, some are more beautiful, lucky and healthy, others do not get anything.
It does not matter what resources you have initially - if you wish, you can achieve anything, and positive people they will never complain that they were unfairly cheated.
An optimist thinks like this:
Life is unfair and unpredictable. And it's okay.
