MENSBY

4.1

Often success depends on the ability to keep your mouth shut. In the age of the Internet and the craze social networks we have become too open. But there is a time of frankness, and there is a time of mystery and mystery. What is worth keeping a secret for your well-being and success.

The mystery is also present in the Absolute Truth, and therefore in our material world there is also a place of mystery that becomes part of the culture. To divulge some secrets at the wrong time is just as fatal as not to speak about the Absolute Truth at the right time. Everything has its time. There is a time of complete openness, and there is a time of mystery and mystery. cultured man knows what kind of behavior to use in a given situation. In a word, a secret is not a lie, it is one of the aspects of cultural behavior.

1. The first thing to keep secret, say the sages, is a recipe for a strong medicine that you are good at.

It seems that such a recipe should be told on every corner, but in reality, if people use it incorrectly, the effect can be completely opposite. A strong medicine can easily turn into a deadly poison. And since this world is filled with those who want to get rich quick, any technology that works is immediately copied and applied anywhere indiscriminately.

It is not enough to prepare an active remedy, it is also necessary to apply it correctly, and the subtleties of use depend on specific circumstances, and only good specialist. Therefore, those who possess the secrets of strong medicines are not in a hurry to share them and do the right thing, otherwise our world will be filled with copies of medicines, which means real poisons.

I have a friend who makes quite strong drugs, and don't even try to ask him how he does it. Just tell him about your problem, and he will tell you if he can do something for you or not. Indeed, there were several cases when, envious of his art, some people began to try to prepare the same medicines, inventing their own recipe, so that it looked the same and smelled the same, but all these cases ended in serious poisoning.

Yes, a good deed is a rarity in this world, and that is why it must be protected as a real treasure. And the only way to save a treasure is by stealth. Don't tell anyone where you keep your wallet. So a person involuntarily pats himself in the pocket in which he has money, and thieves who know about such a reflex notice this. It is also not worth praising yourself for good deeds, since pride will immediately see and take away all the good that came as a result of this charity.

How so? It seems that the deed has already been done, why can you lose such nice results? Yes, because the case is considered completed only when the last emotions appeared in our minds. And if the last emotion was pride or narcissism, this means that the work is unfinished, and there will be no result. So what if the cake is beautiful? It also has to be delicious. Yes, the person in the store bought the cake, but that's not all. He may come back and complain about his terrible taste.

So as a result of any good deed, a sweet taste of humility, modesty and gratitude for the opportunity to do it should appear. If, instead, emotions of pride, arrogance or boasting appeared, then the dish is spoiled, it has become bitter and nasty. No one will eat this cake. AT best case it will be thrown into the trash, and at worst will be returned back to the store.

That's why you don't have to tell anyone about your good deeds, this is a good training to develop the right reactions and emotions in yourself. Yes, a complex dish does not work out the first time, but if you know exactly what the taste should be as a result, then sooner or later it will turn out right, and everyone will be satisfied.

You should not tell left and right how you limit yourself in nutrition, in sleep, in sexual relations, and in everything else. Asceticism is also beneficial only if it is combined with emotional asceticism. But if I was ascetic only outwardly, but inside I am dissected by wild joy and pride in my achievements, then this is not asceticism at all, but ordinary pampering.

Real asceticism involves both external and inner world human, so do not be too happy that we have succeeded in this regard. So what if you didn’t sleep at night or didn’t eat for three days. This is your austerity. Why tell others about it? It is necessary to share knowledge, not your pride. If we succeed in something, this does not mean at all that there is any benefit from it. Only time will tell if this has been a blessing or not.

Ascetic people can also degrade like non-ascetic people. And non-ascetic people can perfectly progress and keep their spiritual achievements. The level of asceticism can be compared with taste, which is not disputed. So do different people I have my own ideas about how high you need to set the bar for yourself in order to really develop, which means that this bar should be just for me, and not for others. Therefore, there is no point in being proud that everyone eats bread with butter and cheese, and I, a great ascetic, eat only bread with butter. And once a month I don’t even spread oil ...

4. The fourth thing you should be silent about is your courage, heroism or other manifestations of valor.

Yes, this is a great thing, but it is given to us as a test from God. Someone is given external tests, and someone is internal. External tests are visible, so people receive awards, glory and other honors for them. But overcoming internal tests no one notices, therefore no awards are given for them. Therefore, the sages advise the heroes of external victories to show their respect for the heroes of internal battles and not to boast of their achievements.

And even more so, one should not demand honor and respect from society for their heroic deeds. It is not society that has set us the task of becoming a hero - this is our own choice, our own test, our own feeling debt. Therefore, it is very strange for your decision to demand a reward from someone. It's like sweeping in front of the bank, and then demanding a salary from the bank.

Yes, well done, you removed the garbage in front of the bank, but the bank did not owe you. The hero must remember that the reward he receives inside his heart is in the form of purification, and this purity can be destroyed by the desire to receive external honors. So remember: real feat takes place within our own heart after that, and this result is really valuable.

5. The fifth thing that is not worth talking about is spiritual knowledge.

There is a tendency for the preacher to think that the higher the knowledge he is trying to convey, the more it purifies, but that is just another trap of illusion. Any spiritual knowledge purifies equally strongly, but not all spiritual knowledge is perceived in such a way that it could be used. Therefore, the sages warn us: spiritual knowledge must also be practical, which means that it must correspond to the level of perception of each individual person.

Having heard about the spiritual reality, a person should clearly and simply understand what exactly he can do right today, and what real result it will bring him, how it will purify his heart, how it will make him at least one step closer to eternal happiness. Therefore, you should not especially say something that a person cannot use, otherwise he may simply be disappointed in spirituality and think that it is just madness and madness to waste time on something that does not bring any real result. It's like talking about cakes and leaving without trying anything or sharing the recipe.

6. The sixth thing you should not particularly share with others is your morality.

Yes, we can be great vegetarians, we can practice non-violence, we can be proud of our purity of life, but we cannot be perfectly moral in this world. The average person is forced to commit some form of violence every day. Yes, we can avoid the basic forms of sin, but there is also invisible sin, which is still violence, as it leads to the destruction of living beings or causing them suffering. Thus are known the panca-suna, or the five great sins of the householder. They are described in smriti and warn us that our behavior is not so easy to make perfect.

The first is the sin of killing living beings while grinding spices or grains. The second is the sin of killing living beings while walking, the third is the sin of killing living beings while cleaning, the fourth is the sin of killing living beings while lighting a fire, and the fifth is the sin of killing living beings while boiling or drinking water. Therefore, in traditional Hinduism, the Pancha-Maha-Yagya system is used. These are the five main sacrifices of the forty Vedic rituals. They are run by householders.

This is the brahma-yajna, or recitation of the Vedas, to pay back the debt of the sages who have given us this knowledge. Deva-yajna is the worship of the demigods who fulfill our daily needs. Pitri-yajna - which is gratitude to the ancestors. Manushya-yajna as a way to pay off debts to society, for example, through the ritual of hospitality. And bhuta-yajna is like taking care of subtle living beings, which, despite the fact that we do not see them, still surround us and interact with us in one way or another.

Therefore, as we see, it is not really worth it for us to be especially proud of our morality, otherwise any person who is more or less versed in spiritual science will immediately bring us a couple of dozen accusations not just of immorality, but of immoral hypocrisy. Declare your cosmic non-violence once, and you will immediately be pointed to leather shoes, silk clothes (poor silkworm), electrical appliances (poor fish at hydroelectric power stations and flooded animals and fields), and in general, any production carries a small chemical warfare against everything around, and we joyfully use this, moreover, declaring ourselves great moralists.

7. The seventh thing you should not talk about is your domestic conflicts and your family life in general.

It is not enough to install iron doors and plastic windows, you also need to bite your tongue about what is happening in this house. Remember: the less you talk about the problems in your family, the stronger and more stable it will be. Rubbish is not swept out of the hut into the street, the garbage must be collected in a black bag and thrown into the trash. Nobody likes someone who throws garbage under the doors of their neighbors. Quarrel is getting rid of negative energy, which has accumulated in the process of communication. Yes, this is not very pleasant, but in principle it is useful, as it carries, albeit aggressive, but cleansing.

If this negative energy of the quarrel is not thrown away, but transferred to others, then in this case it does not go anywhere, but returns back to the family, and the problems in it only intensify. Therefore, a family man who talks about his problems in the family to others is like a person who went to the garbage heap to throw out garbage and returned back with a trash can without throwing anything away. Sewerage must perform its functions and carry away all waste into a natural natural purifier. Therefore, do not drown the neighbors, no one will like it.

8. The eighth thing you should not talk about is that the food you feed the other person is made from inexpensive products.

Anyone who tastes food will appreciate its taste, as even the simplest food can be perfectly tasty. But if the cook starts talking about how he did not have enough money for olive oil, saffron, brown sugar or fresh ginger, by doing so he will only spoil the impression of eating, and a spoiled mood, as a rule, turns off digestion, and as a result, food turns into poison. Therefore, cook deliciously, and no one needs to know how rich this food is.

9. The ninth thing to be silent about is the ugly and jargon that were heard from someone.

As we have already found out, garbage can be not only coarse, but also thin. Therefore, you can get your boots dirty on the street, or you can get your mind dirty. And the person who, having come home, tells everything that he heard stupid on the way, is no different from the person who came home and walks on it without taking off his shoes. Previously, it was generally considered uncivilized to enter the house in shoes, so they were always left in the corridor. And this tradition is still preserved in some places of this world.

10. And the tenth thing you should bite your tongue about is your far-reaching plans.

The sages advise to keep quiet until this plan is fulfilled. The fact that the plans in this world are being fulfilled is, in a way, a miracle. Therefore, it is quite easy to interfere with any plan - you just need to find in it weak sides and tell everyone about it. It is enough to learn about someone's plan, and there are many opportunities to interfere with it.

Therefore, it should be remembered that any of our plans is not only not ideal, but in it great amount weaknesses, which are very easy to hit and destroy everything. So do not give a chance to your ill-wishers, which means do not reveal your plans unnecessarily.

Finally, I would like to remind you that a wise man he does not boast of his humility, since life from time to time forces us to take very tough, strong-willed and even aggressive actions. So be humble inside, because on the outside we sometimes have to turn into warriors in order to meet the challenges that life sets before us. Arjuna also tried to show humility by going into the forest from the war, but this almost turned into a great shame ...

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The researcher of oriental culture Vyacheslav Ruzov in his article turned to the experience of Indian sages. He talks about what a secret is and what really shouldn't be shared in public.

1. The first thing to be kept secret, the wise men say, is their far-reaching plans. Keep quiet until this plan is fulfilled. Any of our ideas are not only not perfect, they have a huge number of weak points, which are very easy to hit and destroy everything.

2. The second thing that the sages recommend is not to share the secret about your charity. A good deed is a rarity in this world, and that is why it must be cherished like the apple of an eye. Don't praise yourself for good deeds. Pride will immediately see and take away all the good that came as a result of this charity.

3. The third thing that the wise men do not recommend to talk about is their asceticism. Do not talk left and right about your restrictions in eating, sleeping, sexual relations, etc. Physical asceticism is beneficial only if it is combined with an emotional component.

4. The fourth thing you should be silent about is your courage, heroism. Someone gets external tests, and someone internal. External trials are visible, therefore people receive awards for them, but no one notices overcoming internal trials, therefore no awards are awarded for them.

6. The sixth thing you should not especially share with others is to talk about your domestic conflicts and about your family life in general. Remember: the less you talk about the problems in your family, the stronger and more stable it will be. A quarrel is getting rid of the negative energy that has accumulated in the process of communication.

7. The seventh thing you should not talk about is the ugly words that were heard from someone. You can get your boots dirty on the street, or you can get your mind dirty. And the person who, having come home, tells everything that he heard stupid on the way, is no different from the person who came home and did not take off his shoes.

Write

If you feel that keeping information in secret is already unbearable, and so you want to tell someone about everything - write. You can write a diary by hand, type a Word document on a computer. The mode of presentation is not important. The main thing is that you can speak out, tell about everything to a computer monitor or notepad. At first glance, it seems that this will make sense, but in fact, after you describe the situation, you feel better. You can simply retell what you know or come up with a whole story. The main thing is to get the information out. When you finish writing, you will definitely feel relieved and you will no longer want to reveal the secret to someone.

think ahead

If you feel like you want to tell someone a secret, then before you open your mouth, think about what it might turn out for you. Often, all our problems begin precisely when we talk about something without thinking. Therefore, analyze the situation, imagine possible options for the development of events. Be sure that if you imagine in all colors how your loved one is offended by you or even breaks off relations with you, the desire to tell someone about his secret will decrease significantly. The same goes for your personal secrets. Even if you trust a person and want to open up to him, think about whether your relationship will definitely be just as good in a month, a year. And will he change his views on you after he finds out the secret.

Mind your own business

Sometimes we can't keep information private because we think someone needs to know the truth. For example, your friend told that he cheated on a girl and asked to be silent about it. You, in turn, are friends with this beloved and believe that she should know the truth. In such situations, it is better not to take on the duties of the voice of fate. Of course, your friend's act is foolishly reckless, but on the other hand, everyone has the right to make a mistake. Therefore, do not go where you are not asked. If she is destined to find out, then she will definitely find out about everything from another source of information. If not, then the girl will continue to live in peace in ignorance. But in the case when you decide to tell the whole truth, the situation may turn out so that the lovers will reconcile, and they simply will not trust you anymore. Therefore, if the secret does not touch you personally and cannot become a threat to someone's health or life, then it is better to be silent and do not meddle in your own business. Life will surely put everything in its place without your help.

ask permission

You usually just want to tell a secret about a secret, and it doesn’t matter to whom. It can be a complete stranger. Therefore, if you can’t wait at all, ask your friend if you can tell the secret. Perhaps he will agree. The main thing is that you be sure who you trust the secret to. After all, even if he is from another country and seemingly could never meet your friend, everything happens in life. Therefore, in order to entrust a secret, choose a person who knows how to always be silent and is not inclined to want to constantly talk about something. It is easier for silent people to keep secrets, because they do not like to talk at all, so such a task is much easier for them than for talkative ones. Telling such a person a secret, you should not go into details. You don't even have to name names. Just post the information you know. After that, you will definitely feel better, and a person who is not interested in this secret will just listen to you, and then, most likely, will forget about everything.

don't hint

Some people, having learned some secret, begin to hint at it to others, and when they guess, they tell everything. At the same time, they seem to relieve themselves of the obligation, because the person himself guessed it. In fact, this is wrong, because in fact, you still wanted to tell the secret and did everything so that people would guess about it. That's why, similar decision is not correct. And the person whose secret you told will still be offended and conclude that you cannot be trusted. So instead of hinting at someone, try to avoid topics that somehow relate to your secret. If you feel like you're about to spill the beans, cut the conversation altogether and move on to another topic. You can even go away for a few minutes, be by yourself and remind yourself what exactly the consequences of hints at someone else's secretum can turn out to be.

Do not indulge the idle interest of others

Sometimes it happens that someone really wants to know your secret and begins to persuade you to tell everything. In this case, think a hundred times why exactly he wants to get information so much. Often, when a person wants to know someone else's secret, he is guided by idle interest. It can very rarely happen that, having learned a secret, someone can really help you or your friend and change your life for the better. In other cases, people crave secrets only because they are interested in learning something new or they are angry because secret information was told to you, and not to them. Therefore, if you see that someone is trying to force you to reveal the secret in any way, immediately stop these attempts. Explain to the interlocutor that you do not want to speak this topic, and if he does not calm down, then your communication will be over. In this case, you need to immediately show that you cannot extract information from you, otherwise the person will contrive and eventually find a way to put pressure on you in such a way that you tell him everything.

And the last thing to say, if keeping secrets is such a difficult and overwhelming task for you, it’s better not to take it on at all. It would be more honest and correct to immediately warn the person that you do not know how to keep silent, therefore the safety of his secret is not guaranteed. So, if he wants to tell something secret, then he must be prepared for the fact that you can not resist and retell the secret to other people. Thus, you will relieve yourself of all obligations and then no one will be able to accuse you of not keeping your word and acting dishonestly.

In general, keeping secrets is not an easy task. Some doctors even believe that holding back from telling someone certain information can lead to health problems. So every time you ask for your loved one to tell you something secret, think about whether you can carry this burden and whether someone else's secret will become a burden for you.

Exercise 1: Rephrase these sentences to avoid pleonasm in the highlighted passages.

Option 1

1. Troekurov had a great Territory of the earth.

2. The yolks are very tender, passionate feelings to Vera.

3. At will Felt free.

4. In his hand Little needle.

5. Each diamond Unique in its own way.

6. They kept theirs Secrets in secret.

7. Time is the only thing you can't return back.

8. Lefty was faithfully betrayed Russia.

9. Lefty He loves to work very much, he is a hard worker the male.

10. The poem "Rus" evokes in the reader Patriotic feelings and feelings of love for the Motherland.

Option 2

1. Depicted in comedy Small county Town.

2. Khlestakov starts Too exaggerate.

3. And he Struggling, and it's useless imitate your mentor.

5. It tributaries and rivers flowing to Baikal.

6. It is shown to the reader with Completely opposite sides.

7. This story seemed to me Cheerful and joyful and at the same time Sad and sad.

8. As a result of the experience, Terrible monster.

9. But we don't have Vacancies! (from the translation of the Disney cartoon "Mulan")

10. Ball Lives on the street and is a stray dog.

Task 2: Find pleonasm in these sentences and correct the mistakes.

Option 1

1. Balls quickly finds human society their social niche.

2. But Shvonder did not take into account one little thing.

3. Among those who first started fishing was the Moscow businessman Sokolikov.

4. Sharikov lives on everything ready, he is fed, watered, dressed and warmed.

5. What will happen in the 21st century, if now such problems are in the 20th century?

6. He dug up the corpses of dead people.

7. Kindness is not help for the sake of profit, but disinterested help.

8. Just like good, evil also has many definitions.

9. In the work "" Shvabrin at the beginning of the story seemed not bad.

10. Plastic skis are very elegant in appearance.

Option 2

1. He worked in a trading shop.

2. Perhaps it is too expensive for me.

3. He had a high self-importance.

4. Great set people know about it.

5. Cheerful leaves, like people rejoicing and rejoicing at the holiday.

6. Small boletus hid under slender birch trees.

7. All these women are very different and unlike each other.

8. This involuntarily repels, does not cause sympathy.

9. This love was very different from the previous one and was more rather one-sided.

10. Nastya was absorbed in her own worries and problems of life.

credit work

Exercise: Rephrase these sentences to avoid pleonasm and justify your corrections in writing.

Option 1

1. One of the characters prevails more, the other less.

2. Opposite extremes.

3. The further future of a person depends on this.

4. In my opinion, it seems to me that these are different things.

5. is able to reveal his strong, passionate feelings.

6. He loves his parents, friends, relatives.

7. Arkady was under the influence of his friend and depended on him.

8. The meaning of the title of the story is very meaningful.

9. The monk predicted his future fate.

10. Rhythm in the poem is monotonous and monotonous, heard throughout the poem.

Option 2

1. And everywhere there is a change of professions - from a coachman to a soldier and an artist, - crafts and occupations, extraordinary adventures everywhere.

2. I kissed her black locks of hair.

3. He finished the sentence to the humorous laughter of his comrades.

4. Olga is a very free and free woman.

5. Asking her questions, he blushed like a young boy.

6. Them life path and destinies are different.

7. Little Yesenin spent his childhood here.

8. Marya is looking for communication with religious people, that is, with those who believe in God.

9. In their behavior they are guided by their desire and desire.

10. It is this meeting that determines further fate masters.

Almost every person knows things about others that are better not to make public. This information is called a secret. It does not matter how a person learned the secret of another person - heard, overheard, or his soul was "revealed".

Unfortunately, most people are chronically unable to keep other people's secrets, such people simply cannot do anything with themselves. Other people's secrets, and even their own, they give out automatically, after which they often regret the told secret.

A secret is not something that is not told to anyone.
A secret is something that is spoken in private and in an undertone.
Marcel Pagnol

Why can't people keep secrets?

Psychologists have come to the conclusion that such people are simply deprived of attention.

For example, a woman or a man, who are not very popular in their team, of course, they pay some attention to them, listen to them, but this is not enough for them, they want more.

How to attract more more attention? That's right, tell someone interesting secret, which will be interesting to everyone, and will put such a person in the center of attention of others.

Women's secrets usually relate to personal life - who cheated on whom, who is dating whom, etc. But often men also discuss the same secrets.

Men are interested in secrets, most often related to work or earnings, and, of course, they also do not disdain secrets in relationships. Only they are interested in secrets about a particular woman, how many boyfriends she had and whether she has now, why she broke up with her ex, etc. Usually men are interested in such secrets for two reasons - either they like a woman, or just a man is gaining life experience, learns from the mistakes of others how not to do so as not to end up in a similar situation.

Chronic talkers often tell secrets, after which they feel remorse and colleagues cease to trust such gossips. And it's all for the attention of others. But those around them understand that if such a talker tells a secret about someone, then you cannot trust your secrets to such a person, since such a person does not know how to keep secrets. And many try not to make friends with such gossips or gossips, fearing to inadvertently shake up too much, which will then become known to everyone.

You need to constantly control your conversation with such a person (who does not know how to keep secrets), since everything superfluous said will be known to others. Therefore, such talkative people are not loved and are not taken as friends, because friends are needed to relax and unwind, and with such chatterboxes this is impossible.

Of course, people who don’t know how to keep secrets have friends, but it’s hard to call them friends, because they are often friends with them for the sake of obtaining information about other people, etc. Of course, everyone can find real friends, but first you need to learn how to keep other people's secrets.