Someone may miss the simplest things from home - for example, the usual pillow or the smell of the house. Homesickness occurs in people of all ages in the most different situations so it's nothing to be ashamed of. There are several ways to overcome this longing and learn to love a new place.

Steps

Strategies for dealing with homesickness

Understand what causes homesickness. This feeling is due to the person's need for relationships with others, for love and security. Despite its name, homesickness may have nothing to do with the space itself. Everything that seems familiar, stable, comfortable and pleasant to you can cause this feeling if you find yourself away from it. Research even suggests that homesickness is similar to homesickness resulting from the loss of a partner due to separation or death.

Learn to recognize the symptoms of homesickness. A person is not just homesick - this feeling can cause other sensations that affect the person's ability to function. If you learn to recognize these symptoms, you will be able to understand why you are experiencing these feelings and take the necessary action.

Keep familiar things close at hand. If there are things from home nearby, it will be easier for you to get used to a new place - you will have a kind of anchor. Things that have sentimental or cultural value(for example, a family photo or something related to your culture) will help you feel connected to home from a distance.

Do what you love to do at home. Research shows that things that evoke nostalgia make a person feel better. Traditions and rituals keep you connected to home even when you are away from it.

Discuss your feelings with someone. Don't think that talking about your feelings will only increase your angst - this is a misconception and has been backed up by research. Talking about how you feel and what you're going through can help you deal with homesickness. If you deny your feelings, you will only make them stronger.

• Choose a person you can trust. You can talk to a university psychologist, a parent or close friend, a psychotherapist. You will be listened to and given advice on how to deal with your feelings.
• Remember that asking for help does not make you weak or insane. Being willing to admit that you need help is a sign of courage and self-care, not something to be ashamed of.

1. Keep a diary. This will allow you to collect your thoughts and process information about everything that happened to you in a new place. If you are studying abroad, in another city, go to summer camp or moved to a new place, you will certainly have many new sensations, and the diary will help you record thoughts. Research suggests that journaling and event evaluation and how they affect you, allow you to dull the longing.

   Go in for sports. Research results indicate that when physical activity endorphins are produced in the body - substances that improve emotional condition person. Endorphins help fight the anxiety and depression that often accompanies homesickness. If you have the opportunity, do sports in a group. This will allow you to meet and communicate with new people.

   • Physical activity will also strengthen your immune system. Homesickness can be expressed in ailments (frequent headaches and colds).

2. Connect with old friends and family. This will allow you to feel their support and connection with them, which is very important when adjusting to a new place.

   Get rid of intrusive thoughts about the house. Connecting with the people you left behind can help you deal with the longing, but it can also be a crutch. Don't let trying to remind yourself of home control your whole life. If you find yourself wanting to talk to your mom a few times a day instead of going out with a new friend for coffee, start spending more time with new people.

   • Schedule calls home. Limit the number and duration of calls. You can even start writing regular letters. This will allow you to keep in touch with the people you love without letting nostalgia get in the way of enjoying the present moment.

   Communication with other people

   1. Make a list of what you are missing. Most often, people miss their loved ones. Make a list of the people you miss and the things they bring to your life. What memories do you treasure? What did you do together? What did you like about these people? If you find people who are similar to those around you before, you will find emotional support. It will also help you adjust to a new place or situation.

      Get busy with something. Making new friends in a new place is not easy. It's best to force yourself into situations where you'll be forced to meet new people, especially those with similar interests. If you start doing something new, you can take your mind off your homesickness.

      Share your memories of home with others. Most effective remedy combat homesickness - it's new friends. If you are supported by new people, you are unlikely to have problems with longing, even if you feel it. Share your memories of home with others - it will cheer you up, and it will become easier for you to talk about home.

      • Throw a party, treat your friends to your favorite homemade food and share your traditions with them. It doesn't matter if you went to study abroad or just entered a university in a city that is a couple of hours drive from your homeland - this will help you feel better. You can have a cooking party and teach your friends how to cook your favorite food, or just treat new acquaintances to traditional snacks.
      • Share your favorite music. If you grew up in a place where people like folk, gather people, introduce them to each other, listen to music and play board games. If you've been listening to a lot of jazz, turn up the jazz. Music should not be directly related to the house - it should only remind you of it.
      • Tell me funny stories that happened to you at home. You may not be in the mood for humor, but it's still worth doing. This will strengthen your bond with home and with new friends.
      • If you've moved to a place where they speak a different language, try teaching your new friends how to speak. simple phrases in your language. It will be fun, interesting and useful.

   2. Be bold. Shyness, stiffness, and vulnerability often accompany homesickness. If you don't take risks, you miss out on opportunities to participate in something that can help you adapt. Accept invitations even if you don't know anyone. You don't need to be the center of attention! Just come and listen to others and that will be enough to get you started.

      Get out of your comfort zone. Study familiar things very convenient, but it is also important to take yourself out of your comfort zone in order to grow and change. Studies have shown that a moderate level of anxiety (for example, when learning something new) can improve performance in intellectual and interpersonal tasks. If you are too comfortable, you will not be able to get used to the new environment.

   Adapting to a new situation

   Enjoy the uniqueness of the situation in your new environment. Finding a way to meet your needs in a new place can be tricky, but it can help you overcome your homesickness. If you realize that you can enjoy something new, the circumstances in which you find yourself will begin to please you more.

   1. Learn the language. If you have moved to another country, not knowing the language can be a serious barrier to adaptation. If you can communicate freely with people in this country, you will feel much more confident. Tips

      • Homesickness affects people of all ages. Don't worry if you're an adult but miss home after moving to new town for work. This is completely normal.
      • Focus on the positive things in the new place. For example, think about the fact that here you can try new dishes that are not available in your home country.
      • Chat with others! If you're new to school or enrolled in university, you may feel like you're the only one feeling homesick. But if you talk to students like yourself, you will find that many of them have the same feelings. If you share your feelings with each other, it will be easier for all of you to get used to it.
      • Try to solve the problem. If you're frustrated and can't figure out why, think about it with critical point vision. Do you get worse when you think about a friend who stayed at home? Did your favorite old movie you recently watched upset you? Try to figure out what provokes feelings of homesickness.
      • If you have moved to another country, try to learn the language as soon as possible. If you can talk to people in a new place, you will be in better control of the situation, and it will be easier for you to communicate with others.
      • If something in the house has caused a blues attack, go outside for a couple of minutes, then come back and get some rest.
      • Breathe. Sometimes people wind themselves up and forget to breathe. Take deep breaths in and out through your nose until you relax.
      • Tell yourself to calm down. Try not to think about the distance that separates you from those close to you.

Question to a psychologist

Hello! I have such a problem. I am 24 years old. I live in an apartment with my retired mother. In my entire life, I have almost never left my home. As a child, I went to the camp for a short time, to the village, but I constantly cried there (especially at first) because my mother and home were far away. When I grew up, I went to a neighboring village for 2 days and that was it. And now, in the near future, I'm going to move to Russia, get citizenship there. I really want to live there, but one thing really upsets me - my mother remains in Kazakhstan. she is hypertensive with heart disease. I am very much afraid of how I will be there without her and how she will be here without me. She, on the contrary, reassures me that she, they say, stays at home, she has friends here, they will help, if anything, but how I will be there alone is unknown. Those. my mother also wants me to leave so that everything works out for me. But I'm still scared. I am very domestic. Even on new job I don't feel very well at first. I'm just afraid that I will constantly cry there =) Maybe there are some methods so that even now I start to get used to the idea that I will live alone? I understand perfectly well that sooner or later I will have to start living my life, start a family, etc., but I am by nature such a person who does not like change and for whom native home- it's something sacred

Masha! It seems strange to me that you are going to go against your nature!!!

Why do you need it, I still do not understand!

There are situations life circumstances which force us to overcome ourselves, our habits, fears... Perhaps you have reasons why you should move to Russia, but so far I have not found anything about this in your letter. Perhaps you should figure it out in a personal meeting - WHAT MAKES YOU make such a difficult choice for you?

Good luck. Marina.

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Hello Masha. And, nevertheless, you decide on such a change in your life as moving to another country. Apparently, despite the fact that you do not like changes, they have matured a vital necessity (desire applies to her too). Your concern for your mother is understandable, and in principle you can understand her too - after all, in retirement age Not everyone decides to leave the usual way of life. It is difficult to separate from your mother, especially if you are so connected with her, the issue of separating children from their parents is generally very difficult. And, of course, there are ways to ease the emotional state. But for this you need to figure out what are the main feelings that take possession of you when you think about moving. The ways of living the situation of separation and, accordingly, the methods depend on this. Separation from parents often occurs as a consequence of personality maturation, and personal growth is not always accompanied by pleasant emotions and events. After all, he is a change in itself. But a person cannot help growing, otherwise there will be violations in development. It would be better for you to work with a psychologist internally, so far there are more questions for you than answers.

Sincerely, Larisa

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Hello Masha!

miss you old life after the changes that have taken place, it is a common thing, and it cannot be bypassed. it natural process adaptation to new conditions. And you will have to get bored and, perhaps, cry. And that's okay, don't make a tragedy out of it. After a while, everything should pass, but this process can become more complicated if the changes were not thought out and not justified, if a person as a result of these changes lost more than he gained. If you know well why and for what reason you are leaving your home, then soon, after adaptation to a new life is completed, you will calm down and stop being bored. All the best, Elena.

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If you have had to move from hometown work or study, then a feeling of isolation and emotional discomfort for you - familiar state. Many yearn for their native streets, familiar faces, beloved households and close friends. Most often, this feeling is even stronger if the move is made to another country. And although studying (or working) abroad is, first of all, an exciting adventure and new opportunities, people sometimes cannot adapt to new conditions. If you want to, don't go into the process of worrying and worrying about being alone in your new place. Dealing with this feeling is easier than you think! Read on for our tips on how to overcome homesickness and get the most out of your new adventure.

Although it will not be possible to completely get rid of such a feeling, there are ways to alleviate this condition and tips on how to tune in to positive tone, to new experience was fruitful for you, and you got the most out of your trip abroad.

1. Explore the area

One of the best ways to beat (or even prevent) homesickness is to explore a new area. The more you learn about your new city, the more comfortable it will be for you to live there. Try on the role of a tourist and walk along the best restaurants, bars, coffee houses and parks. Find where the nearest grocery store is, learn the local system public transport. Join your local fitness center or go to your local bakery—anything that can broaden your horizons will help you bond more with your new home and, ultimately, take your mind off your hometown.

There are so many new things here! Find out if any of your classmates would like to explore the city with you

2. Don't let yourself get bored and stay away

The only way to feel at home in a new city is to immerse yourself in the local culture and participate in activities. If you study at , visit extracurricular activities or join a society or club. Remember, your environment is in a similar situation and all students will try to make friends, so get involved and get to know each other as much as you can. a large number of people. it's the same great way improve your language skills!

3. Set a daily routine

The best way to beat homesickness is to bring some stability to your life. new life arranging your life like the previous place and setting a certain daily routine. Getting up at the same time every day, going to the gym, reading a certain newspaper or blog - you need to take something from your previous hobbies and transfer it to new routine. Missing Friday pizza at home? Try to start the same tradition in your school or in your circle of friends. New activities and activities will gradually replace your homesickness and you will begin to build your life with a sense of comfort and stability.

4. Stay positive

Try to keep yourself positive attitude(Easier said than done! But still worth a try). Soberly evaluate your transition state and remind yourself: to get a good job in new country, city, school, it will take weeks, or even months. Stop comparing your new life with the old one - make a list of what you liked in the new place, what you liked in your friends. Your situation will not change for the better if you constantly think about negative aspects, so remind yourself of what makes you happy, and before you yourself notice it, you will already begin to see everything in a positive light.

Use the opportunity to make new friends and discover new places

5. Keep a diary

For those who suffer from nostalgia, journaling or blogging is a wonderful opportunity to release feelings and reduce stress and anxiety. Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a diary will give you a sense of comfort and security, and will ultimately leave you with documented memories of the experience of living abroad.

6. Stay connected to home

When you live away from home for a long time, communication with family and friends brings the feeling of home closer. Talking with family and friends allows you to feel involved in what is happening at home, and removes the feeling of isolation. Modern technologies(Whatsapp, FaceTime, Skype, etc.) are reducing distances. Only a video call separates you and your loved ones! Set up regular phone calls with your loved ones, but try not to overuse them, as there is so much to do, learn, and visit in a new city.

Stay connected with SMS, video calls or email

7. Recall what prompted you to move

And finally, the most important thing: The best way get rid of homesickness - remind yourself why you moved. Step back and remember what inspired you to leave your home and study new language(work in a new company or comprehend new academic heights)? New opportunities career development? Whatever your motive, remind yourself of what you want to achieve.

We hope you enjoy our recommendations. Or maybe you have your own methods of dealing with homesickness and nostalgia? In any case, try to make the most of the opportunities that a new place will provide you. Sadness and longing will pass very soon, and the emotions and memories of your stay abroad will remain with you for life.

Well, things are packed, tickets are bought, everything is ready for the trip, except for one thing .. You still have not found anyone who would keep you company. Don't worry! Many people travel alone. And it's not as bad as it seems. You do not need to agree with anyone where to go to see what you want, you make your own vacation plan without asking permission. But there are also disadvantages, one of which is loneliness. Sometimes it gets so lonely that you start to miss home terribly and are ready to fly home on the very first flight.

Whether traveling alone or alone, these bouts of loneliness are unavoidable, whether on a business or leisure trip, but they can be smoothed out and easily rescheduled so as not to ruin your trip. Here are some ways:

Communication with home
How great it is that the development of technology allows us to connect with loved ones, wherever we are. In the Internet cafe you can always chat on Skype. If suddenly this is not possible, then you can always send an e-mail, chat in a chat, send a postcard, or at least talk on a cell phone. The most important thing is to communicate with someone who will not only pity you, but will cheer you up and convince you that the melancholy will pass, and everything will be fine. Sometimes it is enough to speak out (whether in a conversation or a letter) and the sadness disappears, especially if relatives and friends remind you how important this trip is for you.

But you should be more careful with virtual visits home, after all, you leave to get acquainted with new people and cultures, visit new places, and not return home every day and spend most travel on the internet.

Create a home environment
Often we are saved from loneliness Nice memories, which, as if by magic, appear in the head at the sight of familiar things. Try to surround yourself with something familiar: watch movies on mother tongue listen to your favorite music, read good books, eat what you love, inhale a familiar aroma, flip through old photo albums. So your longing is out negative feeling turn into pleasant nostalgia.

You need to prepare for this: make sure your laptop is full of your favorite movies and music, print photos with loved ones, even take a few unnecessary little things with you that will remind you of home, such as scented candles or sweets. Music works wonders - don't forget to create a playlist of your favorite songs in the ipod that you take on the road. Even if you are not ready, it is not scary. Eat a familiar dish for dinner, find a book in your native language, or ask your friends to send you a couple of photos along the Internet with them.

But again, do not get carried away too much, broaden your horizons, watch foreign films, read unfamiliar authors, try the local cuisine.

Write and Reflect
Grab a pen and start writing! Write a list of 20 things that make you happy. Rewrite them again. Feel it. You can keep a diary, a blog about what is happening to you, send e-mail to friends and acquaintances, share new impressions - all this will strengthen your positive emotions.

It really works! Think about how the trip helped you change, grow, develop. Write down all the pluses of your trip, which, in spite of everything, will remain pluses and will be remembered forever as pleasant moments this journey.

The main thing to remember is to focus on the positives, not the bad. It is very easy during reflection to delve into soul-searching and thinking about the meaning of life and your place on this earth ... - this will only aggravate the situation. Think positive! Rate everything positive sides and the opportunities this trip has given you.

Go out and don't miss your chance
Sometimes the journey starts to get boring, you get tired of the hustle and bustle, plunge into loneliness and sadness, dedicate all the time to books or TV, forgetting about what is happening around you. Just at this moment, you should force yourself to get ready, go for a walk, look at the sights of the city, in a word, visit those places that can inspire you.

Try to find what you are really interested in, museums, shops, exhibitions. Get to know culture through its national cuisine, try dishes that you would never touch at home. Meet the locals. Get up early to watch the sunrise, or stay awake and watch the sunset. Rent a scooter or motorcycle and travel on two wheels. In a word, get out of your hole and start acting! You are here to experience new sensations, to see and get acquainted with the unknown.

Devote your time not only to yourself
Often, to get rid of sad thoughts, you just need to stop thinking about yourself and your condition, and think about someone else. Search the internet for any organizations you can join and get involved in. common cause. Chat with local residents. In the end, sign and mail postcards to friends and acquaintances. Many people love to find greeting cards from other countries among the usual bills and notifications in the mailbox. Satisfy the curiosity of small children who look at you with surprise - say hello or chat. Leave the taxi driver a good tip. Buy a dictionary local language, learn a few phrases and show off your knowledge in a conversation with a waiter or maid. If you manage to please others, then do not hesitate, it will give pleasure to you yourself.

Be active
Do not be lazy, run in the morning, rent a bike, swim, walk. Physical exercises contribute to the release of endorphins, which helps to cope with negative emotions: longing and loneliness. As a rule, tourists have to walk a lot, but often too slowly. Make your heart beat faster, and your soul will feel better!

There are always ways to get an adrenaline rush when traveling. It also helps to "disperse the clouds". Windsurfing or kite surfing, parachuting and bungee jumping, as well as water parasailing and much more are great help. Adrenaline and vivid emotions will drive sad thoughts away for a long time, and homesickness against the background of such feats will be completely forgotten.

Give in to temptations
How to get rid of boredom? Just give in to temptation. Drink some wine, splurge on an insanely expensive but delicious dessert, go for a massage, finally buy yourself that dress or that gadget you've been staring at for days, or book a luxurious hotel room. Sometimes it is possible and even useful to pamper yourself if it helps you disperse the longing.

Of course, if you cannot afford excessive luxury, but still do it, then the mood can only worsen, you will finally fall into depression. Try to please yourself within the budget that you have: an inexpensive treat, a glass of wine, a book that you have long wanted to buy. Pleasure is not always affordable.

learn
In every country there is an opportunity to learn something new. Cooking classes are taught in Paris, in South America- tango. In many Asian countries, you will be taught scuba diving and other water sports, such as surfing, windsurfing. You can learn almost anywhere foreign language. New hobbies will help you find new acquaintances, as well as distract you from memories of home. In addition, acquiring new knowledge and skills is always inspiring and pleasing.

And yet, no matter how hard it is to travel alone, you will benefit from it. You will feel more confident, grow up and learn a lot. The next time loneliness and longing take you by surprise, be sure you know how to deal with them. The ability to overcome oneself and get rid of negative emotions is 100% of the success of your journey and unforgettable, pleasant experience for life.

Question to a psychologist

Hello! I am 18 years old. This year I graduated from high school and went to study in another country. At first, I really wanted to leave. 2 weeks before departure, I became scared, but still I was in anticipation of something new and interesting. The first week went great. Then I had the opportunity to go home. I stayed at home all weekend and easily went back to my place of study. Everything seemed to be going well. Classes have started at the university. But on Friday, I woke up with no mood. Classes ended early. and all day I have accumulated solid inside negative emotions. In the end, it all began to spill out and I burst into tears. After talking with my parents, having cried enough again, I decided that I would go home again. Everything was great again. But I still couldn't talk to my parents on Skype. Only cried. After that, I calmed down and we went for a walk with a roommate who also came from my city. It was very easy for her to adapt. She saw off her parents without tears, she left home without tears, unlike me.
So, for the whole month I went home every weekend. But every weekend I came and realized that I was only here for 3-4 days, that my things were not here, that I was only here to stay, which made me very sad and sad.
What actually causes such a state ... At any free time I only do what I think about how good it is at home. I think what a fool I was to want to leave. It scares me that I will never again live with my parents the way I lived before. That in 4 years I will already be quite an adult and will have to provide for myself.
I don't want to do anything in the hostel. I don't want to do anything. Everything seems foreign to me.
But besides all this, I perfectly understand that I could not stay in my city, because our city is small and the quality of education leaves much to be desired.
Help me deal with my problem. I'm already very tired of such a suspended state. This "com" in my soul does not give me rest. These thoughts from the very morning spoil my mood. Please help me with your advice!!!Thank you!

Psychologists Answers

Anneli, this condition can be dealt with if you figure out what exactly causes it. The answer "I miss you" is very superficial. Ask yourself these questions:
- what do I regret?
- As I can see best resolution situations?
- what do I miss here, what upsets me here?
You may have lost your circle of friends (parents, friends), the feeling of support from them. It is not easy to manage without support, however, any step in development can be associated with the loss of one social circle and, which is very important, the acquisition of a new, important one precisely on this stage life path, social circle, new friends.
Perhaps it is difficult for you to be independent (no one will wash for you, cook food, etc., even sometimes), you are tired of everyday worries. Think about how you can simplify the household load, however, you cannot completely get rid of it.
Perhaps you have fully realized that you have matured, that you are fully responsible for your life, which, in turn, causes you fear for possible mistake or failure.
These are just a few possible causes your condition. It is possible that none suits you, but I wrote them to start some process of thinking about true reasons Your his bad mood. And perhaps each of them and a number of others gathered together and "fell down" on you with tears. You can survive it by finding the pros current situation, paying attention to good luck, success, pleasant events. It may take time, but if your choice was conscious and you are ready to be an adult and build your adulthood I'm sure everything will be fine)

Sincerely, family psychotherapist Kalinina Rumiya, Pskov

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