Every day something new and interesting happens in our lives, but often many of us do not notice it. It seems to us that we are moving forward, but in fact we are always looking back at events that once occupied important place in our life. Of course it's great when good memories, but what if we start to live in the past. It is hardly worth comparing the present with the past, because all the same, time cannot be turned back and something changed. The only thing that needs to be taken out of the past is conclusions about committed mistakes and past successes.

If you spend a lot of time on the past, then you should think about the question: "How to stop living in the past?". Constant reflection on past failures makes it difficult to connect with loved ones in the present, distracts from work and prevents you from living in the present and experiencing joy in this moment. All people need be able to let go of the past and don't dwell on it. If you exist with thoughts in the past, you will never be able to build a happy future. There are ways to influence yourself and your present and stop living in the past. In this article, you will find the most accessible and easy ways that you can implement and thereby help yourself.

First of all decide for yourself what you lack in the present. quiet life or positive emotions. It is in your hands to make your life more diverse or, on the contrary, more calm and measured. Gather your friends and have a party, and then make it a rule to get together every month.

Try it - it frees the mind and body, leads to relaxation. It is important during meditation to think about the present and not return to your past.

Don't regret the past. Try to forgive yourself and those around you for everything that happened. Forgiveness is the path to liberation. The past was in your life so that you could learn something and learn a lesson.

There is such an expression: "Here and now" - this should become your slogan in the present and future. Here is the place where you live in the present, and now is the time in which you need to live and enjoy every moment of life.

If you have been greatly offended in the past, then you should not withdraw into yourself. There are always people around you who love you and will not betray you. Spend as much time with them as possible, enjoy their attention and love. Force yourself to trust people again, even if it's hard.

In each life situation take responsibility for yourself, be responsible for your words and actions. Of course, you can not control the actions of other people, but you can change your own. Always participate in all events, and do not become a victim of them. You cannot go back to the past, but you can change the future.

The past is your history and if you experience any feelings of regret or resentment, then this is only your choice. Find your goal or remember what you dreamed about before the events that upset you so much. And then boldly move towards your goal, because when you have something to move towards, you will gradually forget about the past.

In the life of every person there were periods that I would like to erase from memory. Some, despite all the difficulties, pull themselves together and move to a new stage, only occasionally remembering the shocks that have occurred, others cannot help but think about the past, thereby depriving themselves of the chance to be happy in the present and future. No matter what burden of the past haunts you: parting with a loved one, missed opportunities, death of loved ones, betrayal of friends, guilt ... Now is the time to forget the past forever and start living in the present. How to stop living in the past?

Do not think about the past: why does it not let us go?

Many people wonder: why do some people, having experienced very serious shocks and trials, quickly recover and start a new life, while others fall into many years of depression and cannot stop living in the past after the unsuccessful completion of a two-month romance?

Psychology can give answers to this, much depends on age, the atmosphere in which a person lived in childhood, on the type of character and personality. And even if you consider yourself weak type, close to the heart accepting any life tests, does not mean at all that you are not able to cope on your own and not think about the past.

Most often, we cannot forget the past and live in the present, as we feel guilty for the current situation, we are tormented by thoughts that we could have done otherwise - and thereby change the ending ...

... Sometimes the past does not allow us to forget about itself, since we do not let go of past grievances, we believe that we were treated unfairly.

Our bad memories they look like a suitcase with useless rubbish that we habitually carry everywhere with us ... Do you need such a load?

… And sometimes it’s impossible to forget the past and live in the present because we like this state of self-pity, we are not ready to change, grow, we are comfortable sitting in our shell, cherishing our grief, closing ourselves off from the whole world around us. This is such masochism. How to change the situation and start enjoying life again?

How to forget the past and start living in the present: 5 steps to a happy life

Healing from old wounds is a complex and often long process, but whatever lies behind our shoulders, each of us can stop living in the past. Here are some steps that will help to part with feelings forever:

1. First step- realize that the past is past, that it is thoughts about it that prevent you from fully living in the present, planning the future. Of course, this is not easy to do, but do you really want to breathe deeply again?

2. step two- sorry. Now it does not matter who is to blame for what happened in the past, and who offended: you or offended you. It is impossible to turn back time, everything has already been done, and your suffering today will not change the fait accompli. Mentally ask for forgiveness or forgive, you can go to church. If you offended a person and know how to contact him, you can call and apologize. And that's it. Turn the page. People have the right to make mistakes: you and your loved ones are no exception. If you think that what you have done earlier is too serious or you have no one to apologize to, switch to caring for others. You cannot change what happened, but you can help others and make their lives better. Volunteer in orphanages, nursing homes or animal shelters – think along these lines.

3. Step three- don't be sorry. Regret about missed opportunities, wasted time, broken relationships is a road to nowhere. Regrets, as well as self-pity, are generally extremely destructive feelings. Try to look at the situation from a different point of view: you have gained experience, you have learned from your mistakes, you will no longer allow this situation to repeat in your life. And you know what else? Suffering and constantly pitying yourself, you destroy not only your own life, but also the lives of those close to you, who find it hard to see you in such a state. Do you feel sorry for them?

Remind yourself often that our Life is going only in one direction - to the future, nothing can be turned back. Thinking about what could have been is useless

4. Step Four- reboot. If the pain is still fresh, you are bursting from the inside negative emotions, do not try to be strong, allow yourself one day to scream, cry, break a cup in the end. You can go to the gym and frantically beat a punching bag. Throw out the pain outward - it will be easier to forget the past and start living in the present.

5. Step Five is the substitution rule. Think about how much time and effort you spend on nothing - not letting go of past grievances and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, you could change for the better. For starters, you can go to the salon, change the color of your hair, get a manicure, radically change your image, or do a search in the end. Sign up for driving courses foreign language, needlework. And most importantly, go in for sports. Perfectly eliminates unnecessary thoughts yoga. If you have new interests and hobbies in your life, there simply will not be room for regret and thoughts about the burden of the past.

In general, I think one of the most effective ways forget the past- clear the physical space around you: , hold (read where p led me), organize little things like books and ... Letting go of things from past life You can literally feel how your life is changing!

Getting rid of the burden of the past and letting go of past grievances is much easier than you think now, the main thing is to start acting right now. In less than a few days, you will be drawn into a new, happy and interesting life.

The past is forgotten, the future is closed, the present is granted
(c) m / f "Kung Fu Panda"

To fully live in the present, the past must be left behind.

You probably yourself understand that it is important to stop dwelling on failures and old problems, regret your mistakes, get angry at past offenders ...

In general, remove everything that pulls you back - and happily move forward ...

Today we will talk about how to stop living in the past.

Looking only to the past is like walking backwards on the road: you can't see anything but your old footprints. The goal may sometimes not be realized just because, in fact, you go to it just out of an old habit, and you yourself have long outgrown it and lost interest in it.

7 practices for not judging yourself for your past life

1. Make the decision to work on how to stop living in the past.

By itself, the "cure" will not happen - you must make a choice: "" and begin to act. It’s good that now you don’t need to “cut the tail in parts”, picking and working through each injury for years.

In the conditions of modern energy, healing takes place in a complex way.

2. Send your past love and forgiveness

Keep beating yourself up for mistakes wrong choices"and deeds - the right way live in the past for the rest of your life.

Just accept that in the past you did what you could, based on your "then" knowledge, capabilities, level of awareness.

Without you, "the former" would not be you now. And in difficult moments in the past, you were very scared or sad you might experience confusion and uncertainty not feel any support.

Reveal to yourself in the past love and sympathy. Just remember yourself in one of the difficult moments and direct it there. the light of your love, caring attention. Say to yourself those words that were so needed at that moment.

Some scold themselves for having voluntarily or unwittingly hurt others; for having made the “wrong” decision at some point in their lives.
Others manage to condemn themselves even for allowing themselves to be mistreated in the past - they did not protect themselves from the offender, they did not leave the tyrant man in time.

3. Heal your pain and injury

It is the old unhealed wounds that stir the soul and make us live in the past. Some are as fresh as if they happened yesterday.
You need to heal yourself. It - base action on the way to an easy and free life.

Especially for this, Alena Starovoitova developed (videos from it supplement this article).

4. Thank the past for wisdom

No matter how difficult the situation was, having passed it, you became better, wiser, stronger.

If any specific traumatic situations from the past are bothering you right now, do the technique "Pearls of Wisdom".

Think and write down a few points - what you this situation has taught, this act, this person, how your life has changed, what you realized and comprehended thanks to that incident.

What you write is the pearls of wisdom. Leave them to yourself, present. And the rest of the burden of that situation gratefully release. You took the most important thing from it.

5 more ways to find a pearl of wisdom in a traumatic event.

5. Forgive people from the past

Always keeping anger at offenders, you will never stop living in the past.
In fact, those people who hurt you "once" are no longer there. You have changed, they have changed. In fact, these are different people.

Those with whom you are angry or offended for the past are no longer them, they are theirs. psychological twins in your mind and memory. And you can always agree with your memory and consciousness.

An important note - if grievances from the past affect relationships with people from your present (family members, friends) - you need to work especially tactfully here, without violating their spiritual space.

In the article, you will learn how to reverse the polarity - move from hatred to love and forgive offenders.

6. Recognize and rewrite old scripts

The scenario is the behavior “on the knurled”, driving on the old rails. He registered in the subconscious and over and over again makes you step on the same rake.

Important such scenarios find and write. For this, there are special exercises. For example, at the master class, Alena suggested that the participants perform a bright creative action, "replacing the picture". One of the participants performed a ritual: she melted the ice from the refrigerator, like the ice of a relationship.

You can come up with something of your own.

Scenarios are an automaton that clicks somewhere inside and makes you react and act in a pattern over and over again. The traumas of the past cannot simply be erased. But you can work through them consciously. And rewrite inefficient scenarios for more successful ones.

7. Focus on the present!

Just transfer your attention to the present, right at this moment. How are you dressed? What do you want right now? Is your body comfortable? What is your joy now? What do you value in your current life?

You will see how a lot of energy, joy and opportunities in your present!

Increased efficiency, perseverance, attention to detail, knowledge in areas that were previously inaccessible - all this came along with the new wave. And it began at the moment when another blockage of the old energy was cleared…

P.S. And one of those possibilities is to pass. For three whole hours of fascinating, bright and useful work above yourself, together with like-minded people and an excellent coach!

If you are looking for a way to stop living in the past, .

Life is unpredictable and we all face challenges and difficulties along the way. Often we reflect on the past and wonder how life would have turned out if we had done something differently. These thoughts can absorb a person and prevent him from moving on. In addition, thinking about the past can cause anxiety and depression.

Steps

How to deal with your feelings

Express your pain. Many things in life can hurt. You may have made a mistake, regretted your decision, missed an opportunity, offended someone, or someone offended you. Don't replay the past in your head over and over - just get rid of it.

• Write in a journal, talk to a close friend or relative, make an appointment with a therapist.
• If your feelings are related to another person, talk to him about your feelings or write a letter. If you don't feel like talking, try writing a letter and not sending it.
• If you express your feelings about the past, it will be easier for you to understand how you feel about the current situation.

1. Come to terms with your decisions. When you make a decision, you say "yes" to one possibility and "no" to others. You may want to think about what would have happened otherwise, but this will only cause frustration. If you play in your head possible scenarios, it won't affect what happened. Instead of thinking about what might have happened if you had made a different choice, focus on the present and what you can do now.

   Make the decision to let go of the past. As you express your pain, make a conscious decision to let go of the past. While you can't change past events, you can stop thinking about them and start moving forward. By letting go of the past, you become responsible for your future and stop being a victim of the past.

   Think about what you have learned. Your past is an opportunity to learn something or learn something. Your experience may have taught you something new about yourself, about other people, or about life in general. Think about what good and bad you learned. Take more attention good.

   • You may find it difficult to come up with something good, and that's okay.
   • Try to make a list of the good and the bad.
   • For example, a failed relationship might show you the character traits (eg, patience, tenderness) that you would like to see in a romantic partner.

2. Forgive yourself. All people make mistakes and regret something. Your past is your past. It is not happening now and it will not necessarily happen again in the future. You are not only your past. It does not define you as a person. Forgive yourself and allow yourself to move on.

   • Write yourself a letter about what happened, what you could have done differently, what might have influenced your choices at the time, and how you feel now. End the letter with self-forgiveness and gratitude for the person you have become.
   • Tell yourself this: "I forgive myself", "I love myself", "I accept myself."

3. Forgive other people. Perhaps in the past you were offended by another person, and this situation continues to live in your mind. You cannot change how this person treated you, but you can forgive him. Forgiveness is the ability to accept what happened, the rejection of anger and pain for the sake of the future. Forgiveness is for you, not for the person who hurt you.

   • Think about the role you played in this situation. Show compassion, put yourself in the place of another person, analyze his position. This will make it easier for you to understand what happened.
   • You can only control yourself and your emotions. Make the decision to forgive the person. Talk to him or write a letter and keep it with you.
   • Forgiveness is a long process. It won't happen overnight.

4. Avoid destructive relationships. Perhaps there are people in your life who are preventing you from developing and building your future. If you feel uncomfortable in the company of a person, if you feel shame in his presence, if you feel exhausted or upset after communicating with him, if you are negatively affected by the events of his life, if you constantly try to help or correct him, this person is harmful to you . You should work on these relationships or get rid of them.

   • If you decide to keep such a person in your life, set boundaries that would protect you from the influence of this person.
   • Tell the person how their behavior affects you like this: "When you... I feel like... I need... I'm talking about it because..."

5. Seek help from a psychotherapist. If you're having trouble making sense of your past, a therapist can help you deal with your feelings. Psychotherapists are taught to listen, solve problems, give clients tools that allow them to lead a different lifestyle. Find a specialist special education in whose company you feel comfortable. He should be able to work with the problems that you have.

   How to change the way you think

   1. Direct your thoughts in a different direction. Memories of the past will visit you from time to time. The more you try not to think about the past, the more you will think about it. Don't chase your thoughts away - accept and redirect them.

      Engage in self-awareness. Self-awareness allows you to focus on the present and subdue your thoughts. The ability to focus on the thoughts that you like will help you stop thinking about the past. Engage in the practice of self-awareness if you realize that you are thinking about the past.

      Highlight limited time thinking about the past. If you can't stop thinking about the past, try limiting the time you can spend reminiscing. Set aside some time (10-20-30 minutes) and decide what time of day you allow yourself to think about the past. It is better to choose a time when you are usually calm.

      • For example, you could think about the past from 5:00 pm to 5:20 pm every day.
      • If thoughts about the past visit you outside of this time period, remind yourself that now is not right moment and that you will deal with it later.

   2. Analyze your thoughts. Reflecting on the past, you may see events subjectively and distortedly (“I am to blame for everything”, “I bad person" and the like). You can begin to perceive your thoughts as objective reality. Try to resist these thoughts and analyze them. Ask yourself the following questions:

   Good Habits

   Distract yourself. When you do what you love, you don't think about the past.

Each person remembers moments from the past as something warm, dear, pleasant. The feeling of nostalgia is common to all people, but in some cases it goes beyond the permissible. This is expressed in the constant comparison of the past with the present, regret about lost time and opportunities, unwillingness to think about the future and make plans. This situation can be dangerous because the person gradually drives himself into a deep depression, his condition worsens, and he convinces himself that best years already behind. You need to try to let go of the past and start living in the present - to experience new emotions, fulfill your desires, plan for the near future.

Introspection and self-development

Forgetting the past forever is a task that requires patience and willpower. If a decision is made to stop thinking about past events and get rid of feelings of regret, then you need to engage in introspection. Answers to exciting questions man will find himself, in this he will be helped by the methods used in psychology.

To get rid of a feeling of regret about events from the past, you should understand what it is for. Each person should analyze the situation and sort out their feelings by answering some questions:

1. 1. Why there is a longing for the past and a feeling that earlier life was better. The answers to this question may be different: longing for dead friends or relatives, regret about the breakup of long-term relationships, awareness of one's mistakes, thoughts that one could have done differently and now life would be good. It is worth understanding that what is lost will never return. And to linger on the past and ignore the present is a waste of time. It is important to understand that it is possible to live in the present moment in such a way as to remember it in the future. And the feelings that a person will experience years later will be similar to those that he is experiencing now, looking back.
2. 2. What needs to be done in the present so that it is not worse than in the past? If the problem is loneliness or the inability to apply oneself in some work area, then efforts must be made to correct this situation. It is recommended to captivate yourself with something, find new friends, self-develop and improve yourself. A person who has occupied himself with something interesting will not have time for self-torture with thoughts about the past tense.
3. 3. Why is the past ideal? We need to find the answer to the question why now it seems that everything was perfect before. It is important to understand that in the past there were also problems that needed to be solved, longing, and sad thoughts also came to mind. Perfect Look past life - it's just a romanticization of some events deposited in the memory. Sometimes remembering the moment is much more pleasant than living it, and this is worth remembering.
4. 4. Why does regretting the past make you happy in the moment? Nostalgic memories warm the soul and make you immerse yourself in a special atmosphere, from which a person feels comfortable. But the past is far away, and this must be accepted. AT in the present there is a lot of what people dreamed about in the past, but they do not notice this, as they are immersed in their own suffering about the past and the irretrievable.
5. 5. What needs to be done so that what you dreamed about in the past appeared now? Previously, each person had some kind of need, which either disappeared over time, or the person had already received what he wanted or was disappointed in him. For example, in childhood, people often imagine themselves in some profession. If now a person has received an education and has a good position, then why is he dissatisfied with his work? If he is disappointed in him, then you should put yourself new goal and move on.

In the process of introspection, other questions will arise. You should not demand answers from yourself right away, you should think, comprehend what is happening. In the end, a person will have a picture that will clarify some points and make him take a fresh look at himself, as well as at the past, present, and future.

How to stop having bad thoughts

How to get rid of the past?

Questions asked to oneself will help clarify the overall picture of life, but what actions a person should take is not clear to many. You need to understand each specific situation taking into account the nature of people.

But general rules nevertheless exist. Special attention worth paying attention to:

• Old things, reminiscent of the past. These are both children's toys and old ones. Love letters, and clothing, and technology. To break ties with the past forever, it is worth throwing these items away. If it is a pity to throw them in the trash, then you should give them to someone, sell them or hide them in some place inaccessible to yourself. You can ask friends, relatives or parents to keep them for safe keeping.
• In addition to material things, you should pay attention to music, films and other works that remind of people and events that have passed away. No need to listen to songs that bring back memories that make you feel sad.
• Shouldn't visit memorable places. You can't walk the streets that cause nostalgia, especially when the goal is to live new life and get rid of bad thoughts. If you have the opportunity to move, change your place of work or study, then you should do it.
• The same goes for people who are connected in some way to the past. We are not talking about relatives or close friends, but with ex-wives, husbands, sexual partners communication should be interrupted. Especially if the cause of suffering lies in these people.
• Necessary