To become successful (no matter where exactly) you need to have confidence in your own abilities. It is extremely difficult for a person with low self-esteem to succeed and even just become happy: their whole life is built on doubts, disappointments and companies in themselves. And at this time, bright moments fly by, stopping in front of those who are confident in their abilities. Today we will reflect on how to increase self-esteem and love yourself with the help of simple and effective techniques.

What is self-esteem?

This understanding of the importance self and individuality in the context of relationships with other people, as well as an assessment of their qualities, pluses and minuses. Self esteem plays huge role in the normal activity of a person in society and in solving various everyday problems: realization, family, finances and spirituality.

This quality performs the following functions:

• protection - ensuring the stability and relative autonomy of a person from the opinions of other people;
• regulation - gives people the opportunity to make personal choices;
• development - providing an incentive for self-improvement.

Ideally, self-esteem is based only on own opinion person about himself. However, in real life it is influenced by multiple side factors, for example, the assessment of others: parents, peers, friends, friends and colleagues.

Adequate self-esteem (or ideal) experts call the most accurate assessment of the personality of their skills and abilities. Low self-esteem often leads to excessive doubt, introspection, and withdrawal. Overestimated is fraught with loss of caution and making multiple mistakes.

It is important to know! AT psychological practice it is low self-esteem that is more common, when a person is not able to reveal his own potential, and in especially severe cases, experts talk about an inferiority complex.

What affects self-esteem?

So, the meaning of adequate self-perception is to "love" yourself as a real one - even with minuses, shortcomings and various "vices". Everyone has flaws, but a confident person is distinguished from others by the fact that he, first of all, notices his successes and is able to present himself favorably to society.

If you hate yourself or just consider yourself a failure, how can another person love you? Psychologists note a curious fact: most people subconsciously (and perhaps knowingly) gravitate towards communicating with self-sufficient individuals. Usually they prefer to choose such as business partners, friends and spouses.

Symptoms of low self-esteem

In people with similar problems, such character traits are most often distinguished as:

Low self-esteem causes a person to perceive temporary setbacks and problems as permanent "life partners", which leads to wrong conclusions and wrong decisions. Do you feel bad about yourself? Get ready for the fact that others will react negatively to you. And this is already fraught with alienation, depressive moods and even emotional disorders.

4 reasons for low self-esteem

It is extremely difficult to indicate all the factors influencing the attitude of the individual towards himself. Psychologists attribute to them innate characteristics, appearance and position in society. Next, we look at the four most common causes of low self-esteem in a person.

Reason #1.

Have you heard the phrase that every problem “grows” from childhood? In our situation, it fits one hundred percent. AT early age there is a direct dependence of the child's self-esteem on the attitude of parents and other significant adults towards him. If a mother and father constantly scold and compare children with their peers, they will not have faith in their own abilities.

Psychological science claims that it is the family that is the center of the universe for the child. In the cell of society, absolutely all the character traits of the future adult are formed. Lack of initiative, uncertainty, passivity are the consequences of parental attitudes.

Reason number 2. Children's failures

We all face failure, the most important thing is our reaction to them. Psychological trauma in childhood can cause low self-esteem. For example, a child begins to blame himself for the divorce of his mother and father or family scandals. Constant feeling guilt turns into uncertainty and unwillingness to make decisions.

In addition, children react sharply to any harmless failure. Ranked second in a competition? An older person will simply double his efforts to achieve the goal, and little man may withdraw from the activity altogether, especially if the significant adult has traumatized them with a taunt or careless remark.

Reason number 3."Unhealthy" environment

Adequate self-esteem and aspiration arise only in an environment where success and achievement of results are valued.

If people from the immediate environment do not seek the initiative, it is difficult to expect confidence from an individual.

We are not saying that it is necessary to completely refuse to communicate with such people (especially if they are close relatives). However, it is worth at least thinking about whether you have been captured by such a disregard for self-realization.

Reason number 4. Features of appearance and health

Quite often, low self-perception appears in children and adolescents who have a non-standard appearance or congenital diseases. Yes, relatives treat their “non-standard” child correctly, but he is not immune from the opinions of his peers, who, unfortunately, are ruthless, like all children.

A common example is fat kids who are in preschool and school institutions become owners of the most unpleasant and offensive nicknames. Low self-esteem will not take long in such situations.

How to increase self-esteem: effective methods

If a person has realized his problems and decided to raise his self-esteem, he has already taken the first step towards confidence. We offer some of the most effective and efficient recommendations.

1. Change of environment. Negative people are not better society for the self-doubting person.
   Psychologists advise you to reconsider your own social circle, including successful, self-confident, positively related individuals. Gradually, confidence and self-respect will return to a person.
2. Refusal of self-flagellation. It is extremely difficult to increase self-esteem by regularly blaming yourself, speaking negatively about your own abilities. Experts recommend avoiding negative ratings in relation to their appearance, personal life, career, financial position.
   Priority is given to positive feedback.
3. Avoiding comparisons. You are the only such person in the world: unique, unique, combining advantages and disadvantages. In addition, it is quite easy to find people who have achieved much greater success in any field of activity. A possible option is to compare yourself (with new achievements) with the former, unwilling to change.
4. Listening to affirmations. This difficult word in the psychological literature means short verbal formulas that create in human subconscious positive attitude.
   Affirmation should be formulated in the present tense so that the person perceives it as a given. For example: "I am beautiful and clever woman"," I own my own life. It is better to repeat such phrases in the morning and before going to bed, and you can also record them on a voice recorder.
5. Doing unusual things. The desire of a man or woman to escape into a zone of personal comfort and "hide in a shell" is quite natural.
   It's easier for us difficult situation console yourself, your beloved (beloved) with goodies, alcohol, tears. We do not call for extreme sports, just try to face the problem face to face.
6. Training attendance. AT major cities regularly attend trainings, courses and seminars to help increase confidence and raise self-esteem. Of course, it is necessary to find a real expert in psychology, and not "konoval", which, unfortunately, is also lacking. Another option is to read psychological literature and viewing feature and documentary videos on the topic.
7. Sports. One of the most accessible opportunities for raising self-esteem is playing sports. Regular physical exercises make a person less critical of his own appearance and with more respect for himself. During exercise, people release dopamines, the so-called joy hormones.
8. Diary of achievements. Both the girl and young man diaries of your own successes help, in which you should make notes about each of your small victories, achievements, even small ones. For example, every day 3-5 “little things” are written in such a notebook: they moved granny across the road, learned 10 new foreign words, earned 500 rubles more this month than last.

Increased self-esteem is closely related to self-guilt and self-rejection. How to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a man and a woman? Very simple and, at the same time, difficult - be kinder and more tolerant of your own personality. The following methods will help you with this.

Adequate self-esteem and self-confidence is not a fantasy, but a quite probable development of events. The most important thing for a person is to understand the importance of change and have the desire to go in the right direction: a change in personal life, career, appearance. Remember that self-love in some situations must be earned by going through dissatisfaction and self-abasement.

Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on the upbringing of children. I apply the experience gained, including in the creation of articles psychological orientation. Of course, I do not claim to be the truth in any way. last resort, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers to deal with any difficulties.

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50 comments on the article " 8 Ways to Boost Self-Esteem and Love Yourself»

My grandmother constantly told me in my childhood that I have ugly ears, a nose, eyes, and in general I’m all so-so, and I don’t need to be too much of an upstart, I need to be like everyone else ... I still can’t completely eradicate it. But increased self-esteem travel, when in different countries you catch on yourself thousands of admiring glances of men, youths, boys. When they want to get acquainted, or take a picture with me. THIS is what really cured me.

As a person with low self-esteem, it helps a lot to keep a diary of my achievements. When I start to doubt myself, I reread the useful things that I have done and my mood instantly improves!

A person is like a tree, if it has grown a little crooked, it can’t be leveled) No matter how much you “hit your head against the wall”, but, as we were programmed from childhood by our parents, a kindergarten-school and a close circle of friends ... this is how we will eke out an existence all our lives . The most offensive and paradoxical thing is that, it turns out, our parents, without knowing it themselves ... made us so unhappy. Because their parents made them unhappy, and so on. and it is unlikely that a psychologist / psychiatrist will greatly change the situation, and the person himself understands himself even less ... therefore, re-read at least a thousand articles, and you will remain the same notorious creature, like this.

• You're not right. Reminds me of a little green goblin! Stop blaming your parents for your shortcomings. If you are not a teenager and over 19 years old, you should be in charge of your own life and not look back! How can a person be compared to a tree? And even if they compared, then think about if the trunk is curved but growing, can it be directed in the other direction? Thus, to give not a standard even shape, but much more beautiful and interesting? (YES IT IS POSSIBLE AND EVEN NECESSARY) The brain develops up to 25 - 27 years. You can independently bring up in yourself the one you want to see every morning in the mirror!

• Absolutely agree with you.

  Man is not a tree. I do not agree. A person can change.

Instruction

The first advice for those who are thinking about increasing self-esteem and confidence: make time for yourself, plan for the future. If it constantly seems that the whole world is against it, you should listen to yourself. And before you put up with the world, you have to make peace with yourself. Most often, low self-esteem is the result of ignoring one's own desires, the lack of clear goals. Instead - blurry Manilovian dreams, "I want a billion or a necklace, like a movie actress."

You need to find time for yourself. Calmly consider what is really worth (and possible) to achieve. What does not suit you in the first place, what to get rid of. Then comes the understanding of how to do it. And then - planning, setting immediate and distant goals. And concrete, small, but systematic steps towards the goal.

big goals unattainable when a person is depressed. As the first, small goals, we can recommend the formation and consolidation good habits. To regain self-confidence, increase self-esteem, it is necessary to pay attention to the organization own life. Healthy sleep, daily routine, five-minute (but daily) exercise, rational nutrition - these are tools for more efficient human functioning. Banal, at first glance, advice can significantly improve well-being, there will be strength to achieve goals, time for personal growth.

It is unlikely that increasing self-esteem, personal growth, self-improvement are possible without intellectual development. Read books in your field, preferably translated ones. Try to develop your hobby, in the new century this hobby can become a second profession. Read classic literature, memoirs worthy people who are your authority.

A great way to disconnect from the constant negativity, digging into yourself is active recreation. It doesn't have to be mountain climbing or cross-country skiing. The main thing is that the rest is varied and new. This will allow you to change the situation and the familiar environment. For example: an interesting culinary master class, an author's tour of hometown, an exhibition of alternative art or a visit to the opera (especially if the theater was not in honor before). All participants of the master class, all visitors of the exhibition are in equal conditions. This will allow you to distract from the constant comparison of yourself with other people, to make big step on the path to increased self-esteem and self-confidence.

Self-criticism is destructive, it will not help raise self-esteem. You can't beat yourself up all the time. The energy required for practical action. If a disgruntled voice habitually sounds in the head, it is urgent to appease the internal censor. We close his mouth as we close the faucet so that water does not leak.

Use meditation practices. Analyze your positive traits in different areas: professional, family, emotional. Write them down on a small piece of paper and carry them with you. Skim through this list often. AT difficult situation mentally list your pluses, this will help to gain self-confidence.

To set yourself up for tomorrow's performance (important conversation, interview), you can prepare a small individual mantra. A few affirmative phrases listing the best personal qualities and professional skills. Interesting motivational trainings to increase self-esteem and confidence can be found on the Internet.

Listen to yourself, analyze where the main flow of negativity comes from. Perhaps this person is internally indecisive, and therefore spreads this emotion around him. And further. Don't argue with fools. Their opinion hardly reflects reality. Energy should be spent on own development and achieving concrete individual results.

It is worth understanding that it is not very difficult to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. Numerous trainings on the Internet will help to do this, among them there are many high-quality and free ones. But the most important thing is to stabilize self-esteem (so that it does not decrease at all). Here you will have to seek help only from professional psychologists.

The surrounding world for each person is a mirror reflecting his own inner world. This means that your vision of the world depends on your own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, attitudes. Another important component relationship in society is a person's idea of ​​himself, his own assessment of his personality.

Self-esteem is influenced various factors among which are education, social environment, peculiarities professional activity. Oscar Wilde said that self-love means a lifelong romance. And it's true, because individual feeling happiness, peace and well-being of a person is possible only with an adequate assessment of oneself as significant person and accepting your individuality. To learn how to raise self-esteem and find specific ways to increase own self-esteem, listen to the advice of a psychologist and try to perform exercises aimed at increasing self-esteem.

How do we rate ourselves

The American psychotherapist K. Rogers, the author of the famous client-centered psychotherapy, believed that the main component of the personality structure is the "I-concept" - a person's idea of ​​himself, which is formed in the process of socialization, in other words, in his interaction with society. This process involves the iteriorization mechanism - the acceptance of other people's assessments of one's personality as one's own, as well as the identification mechanism - the ability to put oneself in the place of another person and thus evaluate one's personality.

Each person at birth has a personal phenomenal field - empty space life experience. During individual development this field is filled, the personal “I” of a person begins to appear, his “I-concept” is formed. Rogers believed that the final point of personality development is self-actualization - the realization of all potentialities.

Self-esteem is a central component of the "I-concept", because it is a rational assessment by a person of himself, his capabilities and qualities that gives a real opportunity to achieve his goals. Self-esteem performs a protective and regulatory function, affects relationships with other people, behavior and human development. Self-criticism and exactingness to oneself depends on it. Self-esteem is the basis of a person's attitude to his successes and failures, the choice of goals of a certain level of complexity, which characterizes the level of a person's claims.

Can be distinguished specific types self-assessment, based on its individual features:

• Reality: adequate and inadequate self-esteem (low or high). Adequate self-esteem enables a person to treat himself critically, to correctly assess his strengths and capabilities. Inadequate self-esteem manifested in the overestimation or underestimation of their strengths and capabilities.
• Time: retrospective, current and predictive. The first characterizes a person's assessment of his past experience, the second - his current capabilities, and the latter means a person's opinion about his possible successes or failures.
• Level: high, medium and low. The level of self-esteem itself is not so important, because in different situations and areas of activity, self-esteem can be both low and high. For example, a person is competent in the field of finance and has high level self-esteem in this area, but he does not know how to conduct household chores and evaluates himself rather low in this matter. High either low level self-esteem does not play key role First of all, it must be adequate.

Famous American psychologist W. James proposed to determine the level of self-esteem by the formula:

Self-esteem = Success / Level of aspirations

Claim level- this is the one upper bound achievement of a person to which he aspires. This may include different types success: career, personal life, social status, material well-being.

Success is a concrete fait accompli, concrete achievements from the list of claims of the individual.

Obviously, psychology offers two ways to increase self-esteem:

• reduce the level of claims;
• or to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of their own actions.

The level of claims is influenced by various successes and failures in a person's life. If the level of claims is adequate, a person sets himself realistically achievable goals. A person with a high adequate level of claims is able to set quite lofty goals knowing that he can successfully achieve them. moderate, or middle level claims means that a person is able to cope perfectly with tasks of an average level of complexity and at the same time does not want to increase their results. A low, and even underestimated level of claims is characteristic of a person who is not too ambitious, who puts quite simple goals. This choice is explained either by low self-esteem, or "social cunning". Psychology explains the latter as conscious avoidance challenging tasks and responsible decisions.

Self-esteem is formed in childhood when human capabilities are in a state of development. It is for this reason that self-esteem of an adult is often underestimated when the actual possibilities are much higher than personal ideas about them. Having understood the features of the formation of self-esteem and its types, it becomes obvious that working with this component of personality means precisely raising self-esteem to an adequate level.

Raising self-esteem is not an easy process, but there is no limit to the possibilities of a person. How to raise self-esteem, you will be prompted actionable advice psychologist, among whom you will also find effective exercises.

Council number 1. You should not compare yourself with other people. There will always be people around you who various aspects be worse or better than you. Constant comparison will simply lead you into a dead end, where over time you can not only get low self-esteem, but also completely lose self-confidence. Remember you unique personality, find your strengths and weaknesses and learn how to use them depending on the situation.

Exercises: Write a list of your goals and the positive qualities that will help you achieve those goals. Also create a list of qualities that are a barrier to achieving goals. In this way, you will understand that your failures are the result of your actions, and your personality has nothing to do with it.

Council number 2. Stop looking for flaws in yourself, scold yourself. All great people have risen to the top in their field by learning from their own mistakes. Main principle- a mistake makes you choose a new strategy of action, increase efficiency, and not give up.

Exercises: take a sheet of paper, colored pencils and draw yourself as you want to see yourself, with all the trappings of success. You can also come up with and portray a personal symbol of success. Drawing will help you better express your desires and increase your confidence.

Tip number 3. Always take other people's compliments with gratitude. Instead of "not worth it," say "thank you." In such a response, human psychology accepts this assessment of its personality, and it becomes its integral attribute.

Exercises: try using special statements (affirmations). Several times during (at the beginning of the day - necessarily) clearly and thoughtfully pronounce the phrases “I am a unique unique person”, “I can achieve this goal”, “I have all the necessary qualities”.

Tip number 4. Change your social circle. Our social environment has a key influence on lowering or raising self-esteem. positive people who are able to give constructive criticism, adequately assess your abilities and increase your confidence should become your constant companions. Try to constantly expand your social circle, meet new people.

Council number 5. Live with guidance own desires. People who constantly do what others ask of them will never know how to raise their self-esteem. They are used to following other people's goals, living a life that is not their own. Do what you enjoy. Work where you feel respect and can realize your abilities. Try to travel more, make old dreams come true, don't be afraid to take risks and experiment.

Exercise: make a list of your wishes and do them real goals. Write down step by step what you need to do to achieve these goals and start moving in the chosen direction. You can also make a route for the next trip, make it unusual. If you usually go to the sea, then this time go hiking in the mountains. You may not even be aware of your own capabilities, because you have never tried to get out of your “comfort zone”.

23 212 0 Self-esteem. What it is? Can we say that self-esteem determines who we are, our life, the relationships we build with others, our professional achievements? Of course yes! Self-esteem helps us solve everyday problems, make decisions. How we cope with difficulties, how we interact with other people, affects our sense of self.

Many people throughout their lives seek false ways to increase their self-esteem by hiding behind expensive things, striving for the perfect figure. If you think for a second and remember some famous and successful personalities who were seen in simple clothes and hardly looked like they were successful, more like “hipsters”. It is unlikely that they suffer from low self-esteem, because their bank account says otherwise.

Everything comes from our consciousness and subconsciousness, from how and what we think and what feelings we experience at this moment.

Of course, our physical health. The way we eat, whether we exercise. After all, if we feel unwell, we are unlikely to be sure of everything.

1. Fear.

Often, before making a decision, we experience fear. Fear protects our body from danger, leaving us in a comfort zone, as a result of which we do not dare to change something. Everyone dreams of something they can't start doing, someone has always wanted to learn how to snowboard or open their own cooking, and maybe even have a baby. But at the stage of thinking about it, we already experience fear, although we have not even taken a step to implement the plan.

One of the first goals on the path to self-esteem is to get rid of fear.

Sit at home in a quiet room, relax and think about your fear. Think of it like a picture in a frame. Then imagine how this picture moves away from you and becomes less and less noticeable, eventually turning into a dot that disappears altogether.

The next way to get rid of fear is to feel the insignificance of fear, as well as the fact that it does not deserve your worries. And then erase this picture with your hand, as if you were rubbing your hand on a misted window.

2. Flexibility of character.

Develop the flexibility of your character. Everyone has probably noticed a sharp reaction to a minor incident - for example, friends decide to cancel a meeting in last minute. Scientists believe that this comes from our childhood. To begin with, clearly define in what cases you begin to overreact. Are the circumstances so terrible that they would react in such a way? Is this situation worth it to react so sharply? If these questions make you feel defensive, then you are indeed overreacting to this situation. The first step towards overcoming such reactions is to recognize their nature and understand what in your past caused them. Another way is to intentionally, consciously change your habits. Ask yourself how attached you are to your usual plans. Can you take a different route from work? Or go to the store on Wednesday instead of Thursday as usual? Can you change your plans without disorienting yourself? This is your chance to become more flexible. Flexibility in one area makes it possible to develop flexibility in other areas.

3. Set goals for yourself and solve them.

Put in front of you real tasks and reach them. Choose the most important of everyday things and solve them. You will experience a feeling of satisfaction and ease if you start with the most difficult tasks and gradually move towards the easier ones. Perhaps success will not always be, but this should not oppress you, on the contrary, remember the tasks that you have already completed. Feel confident that you can achieve everything (“the foundation was poured, the walls were installed, the ceiling remained, but there are not enough resources. It’s okay. But how quickly the foundation was poured and how well everything else was done”). Always think about what you are good at. If something works out, then you deserve it. Self-confidence will come when you realize that the tasks are completed, even if they were small and simple.

How to learn to appreciate yourself?

Each of us is a unique personality, each of us has a certain set of personal qualities, skills, achievements. Everyone perceives the world in their own way. In order to notice your uniqueness and enjoy it every day, write down on a piece of paper everything that you consider to be the best in yourself. It can be beautiful eyes or certain professional achievements (“I have great experience in certain area”), as well as character traits (“responsive”, “I know how to listen”). If you think of something you don't like, don't write it down. Do not limit yourself to one day, constantly re-read and add to the list.

You can also ask your relatives and relatives about how and under what situation they could turn to you as a specialist, a person with experience. Write it down and read it periodically. This will give you confidence and also peace of mind that there are people you can turn to for support.

4. Find something that gives you strength and confidence.

Perhaps this is yoga or a walk along the embankment, or maybe these are minutes spent reading your favorite book, or just Nice memories that fill you with a sense of satisfaction, after which you feel a surge of strength and joy.

Fill your life with colors. Do not leave the gilded service for the holidays, take it out and use it every day, enjoying its beauty.

Also, psychologists advise to develop what gives you strength and confidence. If you are not given foreign languages ​​(and you have already signed up for courses in foreign language) and at the same time you are in a depressed state, the success of others can only aggravate your condition. Instead, focus on what works best for you. Awareness of one's own mastery strengthens self-confidence through positive emotions that you experience (pride, joy, lightness of mind).

5. Keep and emphasize your uniqueness.

No need to drown in the problems of her husband and in caring for children. You can love a person, perform various “feats” for him and enjoy it, but you cannot live for him, and he cannot live for you. Your loved one fell in love with you for who you are, do not lose your uniqueness and individuality.

Now you know how to raise a woman's self-esteem! If you have your own ways, then share them in the comments!

Video by a professional psychologist on how to increase self-esteem. Where do legs grow from and how to deal with it?

Hello! In this article, we will talk about how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence!

Each person is individual. It consists of a large number advantages and disadvantages. But all people treat themselves differently. It's all about self-esteem. For most people, it is very underestimated, and this becomes main reason many problems. Let's take a look together at what the concept of "self-esteem" means, why it is underestimated, what this problem can lead to and how to increase self-confidence.

What is self-esteem? Her levels

There are several definitions for this concept, but the simplest and most understandable is the following.

Self-esteem is a person's attitude towards himself. It can be high, normal and low.

Inflated self-esteem suffer people who extol their skills, human qualities, talents, physical abilities etc. Most often these are "narcissists" who do not have outstanding capabilities. They simply cannot adequately evaluate themselves, so they consider themselves better than others.

Adequate self-esteem occurs in people who realistically assess their strengths and skills. They understand that in addition to advantages, they also have disadvantages. But they do not focus on failures, but confidently go through life, achieving their goals.

Low self-esteem not uncommon in modern society. People with such self-esteem cannot adequately assess all their abilities and consider themselves worse than others, constantly create complexes and fears for themselves. These are pessimists who do not believe in themselves, constantly complain about life and do not know how to overcome self-doubt.

Self-Esteem Tests

In order to find out at what level your self-esteem is, we suggest taking a few simple tests.

Self-Esteem Test #1

Try to quickly, without hesitation, answer the following questions. Answer only "Yes" or "No". Then count total positive and negative answers.

1. Do you often beat yourself up for your mistakes?
2. Do you gossip with your friends about others?
3. Do you have clear goals and plans for life?
4. Do you go to the gym and neglect physical activity?
5. Do you often worry about trifles?
6. When you find yourself in an unfamiliar company, do you try not to stand out and be invisible?
7. When you meet a person of the opposite sex, do you know how to keep up the conversation?
8. Criticism in your address causes depression?
9. Are you jealous of the success of others?
10. Are you hurt by careless words spoken to you?

Test result:

If you answered "Yes" 1 to 3 times, then you have normal self-esteem.

If you answered "Yes" more than 3 times, this indicates that you are a person with low self-esteem.

Self-Esteem Test #2

Answering each question, count the number of points earned. After passing the test, add up all the numbers received and compare them with the results.

1. Do you often think and reproach yourself for some actions or statements?

Often - 1 point;

Sometimes - 3 points .

1. How do you behave when interacting with witty people?

Try to surpass them in wit - 5 points;

Try to stop communication as soon as possible - 1 point;

1. Which statement is closer to you?

“Luck is the result of the actions and labors of each person” - 5 points;

"Luck is unpredictable" - 1 point;

“A person should rely only on himself, and not on gifts of fate” - 3 points.

1. If a cartoon was presented to you as a gift, what would you do?

Delighted with a gift - 3 points;

Take offense - 1 point;

Take this idea into service and make a friend a similar surprise - 4 points;

1. Are you experiencing time pressure?

Yes - 1 point;

No - 5 points;

Don't know - 3 points.

1. Choosing perfumes as a gift you:

1. Have you imagined yourself as another person?

Yes - 1 point;

No - 5 points;

Don't know - 3 points.

Test results:

If you scored 10-23 points, then you have low self-esteem. You often express dissatisfaction with yourself. You should think about how to increase self-esteem.

A score of 24-37 indicates that you harmonious personality. Know how to praise yourself and adequately treat all your mistakes.

If you scored 38-50 points, this means that you are a confident person, but sometimes you are self-critical.

If after passing the tests you want to learn how to love yourself and increase self-esteem, you need to comprehensively study your psyche.

At first glance, self-esteem is a fairly simple concept that does not imply any difficulties. In fact, self-esteem is a starting point in the formation of personality. It has a number of functions:

• Protective. A morally stable person who is confident in his strengths and abilities is absolutely not interested in what others think of him. High conceit allows you to be stable and independent of the opinions of other people;
• Regulatory. Man with normal level self-assessment independently makes decisions personal nature. He understands that his life depends only on his decisions and actions;
• Educational. Self-sufficient person interested in your further development. He craves new knowledge and is constantly improving.

Why low self-esteem needs to be corrected

Perhaps people who have similar problems will not agree that something needs to be changed in life. Of course, it is easier to sit, do nothing, suffer and blame everyone for the failures in your life.

But people with low self-esteem and self-doubt rarely achieve what they want in life, occupy lower positions, have a minimum wage. Maybe they dream of earning several times more, of being self-sufficient.

But for this it is necessary to take important decisions, be confident in yourself have a goal and try to achieve it. insecure person will never become a leader, and the business he created is practically doomed to.

If you want to become a happy and financially independent person, then you need to urgently correct your psycho-emotional state and learn more about how to love yourself.

Causes of low self-esteem

Our attitude towards ourselves is formed in early childhood. Quite a few important role parents play it.

If the baby is constantly reproached, scolded, told that he is bad, and, for example, Petya is good, then the child feels that he is worse than others. It seems to parents that they are thus raising their child, but in fact they cripple his psyche and make him a loser in life.

In addition to parents, the environment leaves its mark on the self-esteem of the child. If the baby is kindergarten or the school is offended by peers, he closes, withdraws into himself and begins to hate everything around.

Also cause bad attitude to oneself may become a physical handicap, or developmental defects. For example, if a child wears glasses, they are more likely to be teased by other children. Parents in this case must compensate for this shortcoming.

For example, if the child is full, then you can give it to sports section fight. There he will develop physically, acquire the skill of self-defense and be able to prove in practice that he is not weak and can stand up for himself.

Many factors influence the formation of self-esteem. And also the reasons for low self-esteem can be:

• Wrong upbringing;
• Constant failure at an early age;
• Wrong goal setting;
• Unhealthy environment, etc.

A person who is insecure is very easy to spot. Psychologists point out several signs of low self-esteem. Such an individual:

• Constantly criticizes himself and expresses dissatisfaction with himself;
• He listens to the opinions and criticisms of others, which is why he suffers greatly;
• There is indecision in actions, afraid to do something wrong and make a mistake;
• Unbridled jealousy;
• Feels jealous of the achievements and successes of other people;
• Tries to please everyone and everyone;
• Hostile to all people around him;
• Does not defend his point of view, constantly takes a defensive position and makes excuses;
• Possesses a pessimistic attitude and negatively perceives reality.

An individual with low self-esteem is constantly looking for problems, blames everyone and does not know how to enjoy life. This attitude towards oneself can lead to serious mental illness and prolonged depression.

If you have at least three of the above signs, then you should think about how to believe in yourself.

Signs of high self-esteem

People with high or normal self-esteem are more successful, cheerful and optimistic. A person who adequately evaluates himself has the following characteristics:

• Accepts its external and physical appearance as it really is;
• Confident in yourself and your abilities;
• He is not afraid to make a mistake, and perceives any troubles as an important lesson;
• Adequately responds to criticism and praise;
• Finds mutual language with people. Knows how to behave in society;
• Understands that everyone has their own opinion, respects the choice of everyone, but defends their own point of view;
• Controls his physical and emotional state;
• Constantly improved and developed;
• Achieves set goals.

It is impossible to live without faith in yourself full life to enjoy every day and be successful person. If you set yourself certain goals and want to change any aspect of your life, then you will have to change your attitude towards yourself.

It is possible and necessary to raise self-esteem. Your future depends on it. If you still doubt this, then you should know that most suicides are carried out by people with low self-esteem. Therefore, do not be lazy, learn all the ways to increase self-esteem and start working on yourself.

Learn to set achievable and realistic goals

People who do not believe in themselves often set unattainable goals for themselves. And they shrug their hands and say: “I knew that I would not succeed.” It is necessary to try to look at things realistically and set realistic goals.

For example, you want to become a famous fashion designer, but you can neither sew nor draw. In this case, you need one big dream break it down into smaller ones and gradually implement them. Sign up for cutting and sewing courses, and when you finish them, enroll in drawing courses. With minimal knowledge, it will be easier for you to succeed.

Refrain from criticism

Stop constantly criticizing yourself and listen less to the criticism of others. Do not ask people for their opinion about your action, work done, etc. If someone decides to express their opinion about you, it is better to culturally ask not to do so.

Try to eradicate your dependence on public opinion.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Each person is individual and unique. Someone writes poetry, but does not know how to draw, and artists are not strong in mathematical sciences. Do not reproach yourself for the fact that you do something worse than others and stop constantly comparing yourself.

Realize that you are a unique individual with your own set of talents.

Insecure people do not believe that they can do something good. Therefore, praise can be perceived as mockery or ridicule. Never say that your work done is nothing. When you are praised, do not lower your eyes, hold your gaze and just say “Thank you”.

Don't make excuses

Never make excuses or blame yourself for what happened. What's done is already done. If, for example, some action has Negative consequences, it is better to learn from this lesson and not make similar mistakes in the future.

Learn to ask for help

Many people are afraid and do not dare to ask colleagues, friends or acquaintances for help. They think that their ignorance or inability to do something can cause ridicule and bullying. In fact, no one can know and be able to do everything in the world. Asking for help is not shameful at all.

Communicate more often with loved ones and people who love you

In case of failures or some kind of trouble, do not keep everything in yourself. Communicate more often with relatives, because it is they, who, like no one else, believe in you, approve of most actions and always support you.

In the case of blues, do not withdraw into yourself, but simply call your parents, and they will find the right words to support you.

Get your work done

Be responsible for every undertaking. Get everything done, even the smallest things. Do not put them off "for later", because. most likely they will remain unfulfilled.

Learn to love your body

Every person has both advantages and disadvantages. Learn to hide your flaws and highlight your strengths. For example, if it is necessary to increase self-esteem and self-confidence for a woman with broad shoulders, it is enough to choose the right cut of clothes and others will not notice this flaw. At the same time, you need to draw the attention of others to your strengths, for example, beautiful legs. Don't focus on negative qualities you better learn to love yourself for great amount merits.

Exercise and lead a healthy lifestyle

Everyone knows that in healthy body healthy spirit. People who care about their health rarely have low self-esteem. This is due at least to the fact that during sports, the hormone of joy is produced, you feel satisfied and light.

Leading an active lifestyle, eating right, you correct your figure, start to like yourself, and this helps to love yourself and increase self-esteem.

Take care of your appearance

If a person does not take care of his hairstyle, manicure, state of clothing, etc., then everyone, and he in particular, is disgusted with the created image. The sight of a sloppy person is repulsive.

But if you go to the hairdresser, put on ironed clothes and use good perfumes, then your shoulders will straighten on their own, and you will feel the new confidence.

Get rid of bad habits

Insecure people very often relieve stress with the help of cigarettes and alcohol. Under the influence of alcohol, problems seem not so big, and life is easier. But when the morning comes, you understand that the difficulties have not disappeared and they need to be overcome.

Do not waste your time on smoke breaks and constant drinking. So you ruin your body and put off solving problems. When you drop even one bad habit you will definitely gain confidence in yourself.

Hang out with optimists and successful people

A big imprint on our psyche and habits is left by the circle of people with whom we communicate. We adopt each other's habits, thereby trying to imitate someone.

If you are surrounded by people who are constantly dissatisfied with everything and have a pessimistic attitude, then sooner or later you will become depressed.

Avoid the company of whiners and try to communicate with cheerful people who will charge you with positive, inspire confidence in yourself and push you to achieve new goals.

Attend psychologists, trainings

If you are sure that you cannot cope with the problem of low self-esteem on your own, then you can turn to the advice of a psychologist. The specialist will teach you to love yourself.

In parallel with this, you can attend several trainings aimed at increasing self-esteem. It will be at least interesting and useful at the most.

Listen to affirmations

Remember the movie "The most charming and attractive." There main character, standing in front of the mirror, repeated the words about how beautiful she is and how men like her. Thus, she increased self-esteem by constantly repeating affirmations.

An affirmation is a small text that people repeat or listen to to increase their self-esteem.

Try to do it too. For example, learn the phrase “I am a successful person. I will achieve all my goals, ”and repeat it constantly. You can also record it on digital media (flash drive, disk, etc.) and constantly listen to it.

After a while, you will forget what low self-esteem is.

Learn to get out of your "comfort zone"

People who are insecure try to be inconspicuous. They are very hard to do new job, errands or just meet unknown people.

If you plan to become a successful person and then start doing things that are unusual for you. Take on tasks that you previously avoided. For example, if you are planning a New Year's corporate party, and no one agrees to the role of Santa Claus, propose your candidacy. Thus, you will get rid of the fear public speaking and get out of your comfort zone.

Read positive literature

Give preference to books good ending. After reading another fairy tale novel, you will believe that sometimes this happens in life.

Find your dream job

Every person has favourite hobby. But more often the citizens of our country choose a profession not according to the call of the heart, but according to the size of the salary. Therefore, the work performed does not bring the necessary satisfaction, and this can lead to low self-esteem.

In order to raise a man's self-confidence, it is necessary to change his profession, and if this is not possible, then you can try to pay maximum attention to some hobby. Doing what you love gives you confidence, because it's nice to do what you're good at.

Learn to give yourself to others

Whenever possible, be sure to help friends, family and little-known people. If they ask for help, it means they believe you can help. Perhaps their faith will raise your self-esteem.

live desires

Successful and confident people constantly want more and achieve it. Try and you will always want something and do everything to achieve it. After the desires are achieved, you will understand that everything works out for you, and you can do whatever you want.

Envy is not the best the best quality person. It makes us compare ourselves to others. Never envy anyone, but rejoice in what you have.

Do not impose, do not be hypocritical and do not fake

These three qualities prevent a person from having adequate self-esteem. If a colleague does not want to communicate closely with you, you should not impose yourself. Find many benefits in this. Do not curry favor with people, in this way you put yourself below someone.

Drop laziness

When a person is lazy, he easily becomes depressed. Of course, we do not urge you to work constantly. Just learn to distinguish laziness from rest.

If it’s hard for you to overcome idleness, then against your will, nevertheless, start doing the planned work, and the desire will come to you a little later.

Take action!

The longer you lie on the couch and dream of a brighter future, the further it moves away from you. Start changing yourself and your worldview now. No need to wait tomorrow, Monday, or the beginning of a new month. Act immediately!

Self-Esteem Techniques and Techniques

Psychologists advise people with low self-esteem to use the following exercises.

Make a list of your positive qualities

People with low self-esteem are not used to speaking and thinking well of themselves. They find it easier to find 100 flaws in themselves than a few virtues. But every person has a lot of positive qualities.

In order to understand this, take a piece of paper and write down all your virtues. For example, you bake the most delicious pies, you can fix any household item, you have beautiful hair, long eyelashes, a thin waist, etc. During the day, add new advantages to the list, and then attach it to a prominent place (for example, on the refrigerator) and review regularly.

Keep a success diary

This method is very similar to the previous one. Only now you have to write down your successes and achievements every day, in the allotted notebook. For example, they gave alms to the needy, helped a child solve a problem, prepared a delicious dinner, helped his wife to make purchases, etc.

This method will help to increase the level of self-esteem, thanks to a visual list of achievements.

Amulet

People have a lot of fears. But every day everyone has to overcome them. If you are unable to do this, try to find an amulet for yourself. It can be any thing (for example, a coin, a small toy, etc.) magical properties she is unlikely to possess, but you must believe that the amulet will help you and protect you from trouble.

So, overcoming fear and self-doubt, you will achieve your goals, and any achievements have a beneficial effect on the human psyche.

Actor

Even if you do not feel happy, try to play the role of a cheerful and nonchalant person. Imagine that you are an actor who has been assigned an important role and you need to get used to the character. Very soon you will notice that you have ceased to play a role, and really feel more successful and happy.

This method is aimed at overcoming fears. If you are a shy student and don't like speaking in public, ask for an assignment that involves speaking in public. Propose your candidacy as the main character theatrical performance, or take on writing a report that you will successfully read at an open seminar.

Leaving your “comfort zone”, you get rid of fears, thereby gaining confidence in your own abilities.

Clown

If you feel inferior, are sure that you look bad and try not to attract special attention then this method is for you.

Dress very brightly and tastelessly like a clown. Put on provocative makeup, put on pants and a skirt, attach curlers or a winter hat on your head in the summer and go to the store. Do not pay attention to the surprised looks of passers-by. This is how you leave your comfort zone.

After you reincarnate into your everyday image again, you will definitely become confident / confident and increase your self-esteem.

Conclusion

Low self-esteem is a psychological state of a person that needs to be corrected. People without faith in themselves are unhappy in 99% of cases. They are a gray mass that lives its life thoughtlessly. With such a category of people, few people want to communicate. That is why a person with low self-esteem is closed and has almost no friends.

In order to correct the situation it is necessary:

• Believe in yourself;
• Learn to set goals and achieve them;
• Get out of the "comfort zone";
• Communicate with successful and cheerful people;
• Develop mental and physical abilities.

If you use all the tips and do all the exercises, you will definitely achieve great heights in life. And remember the expression that others treat us the way we treat ourselves.