Surely everyone at least once visited the idea to start life with clean slate. Someone is tired of the daily pulling of the blanket over himself in the family, someone can no longer endure the humiliation of the authorities, etc. It would seem that it’s easier to get a divorce or change jobs, but not everyone dares to take such a step or not immediately.

However, driving ourselves into more and more rigid frames and boundaries, we only intensify the process of self-destruction, do not allow ourselves to open up and use all our capabilities. But nothing is impossible.

The first steps

To start living from scratch, you must first of all believe in yourself, realize that there are no barriers to a new life other than those created in your own imagination.

How many people are around you who have achieved something in life and become happier and richer? Lot? So why do you think you don't deserve it yourself?

What's stopping you - your nose irregular shape, lack of education or connections? Stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself and start taking action!

The path of self-abasement is the most easy way, but you won't be able to full confidence claim that the path to the top is even harder until you overcome it. In the end, give yourself a chance to try and come back to past life you always have time.

To concretize own desires and their dreams need to be transferred to paper. Make a plan, where the points describe own actions and start sticking to them here and now, without shelving.

With such a clear plan in hand, and not a ghostly idea of future life in your head, you will be more likely to achieve everything that was planned. Most likely, not everything will go according to this plan, and you will go astray more than once, but this is normal, because you still do not have the experience of living in new and unusual conditions and you will return to the past more than once.

But moving along a precisely planned course, you will definitely come to the goal, even if this path is too tortuous.

Habits and resentments

First of all, you need to start existence from scratch with leaving your past and everything that was in it - insults, disappointments, some sorrows, etc. The past is decay, it was and will never happen again, living in the past means not giving a chance to live in the present and fill your own existence with positivity and optimism.

What do you want: to be right or to be happy? Perhaps someone in the past hurt you a lot, and you just can’t let go of the situation and forgive this person. But you must understand that this addiction destroys only you.

That person may no longer remember you, and you destroy yourself day by day and do not give yourself a chance to rise and become a different person.

If something in your home reminds you of the past, collect it all and take it to social service involved in helping the poor. If you can’t raise your hand to do this, then just hide these things away from your eyes.

Then, when enough time passes and everything in your life gets better, you will look at these things with a smile and hardly remember that they once plunged you into despondency and sadness. Start changing gradually.

This applies not only inner peace, but also appearance. This factor is of particular importance for women. Try to completely change the image. Consult with a professional stylist, hairdresser, makeup artist. You won't even notice how new look will work for you.

For those who started new life from a clean slate after a divorce, this must be done first. Before a free man opens up a lot of possibilities. Are you tired of constant cooking?

Now you do not need to stand at the stove for hours, you can limit yourself to some salad, but how useful it is for the figure! Dreamed of going to dances, courses in English or to the gym, but there was no time?

Now you have more than enough time! But by visiting clubs of interest and meeting new people, you give yourself a chance to make new friends who can lead you to interesting ideas and give impetus to new development.

Career

If the main thing that darkened your life was a hateful and underpaid job, it's time to change it. But here you should not rush, as there is a great chance to stay aground. It is better to start looking for a new job in advance. If everything suits you at work, except for relations with the team, there is a chance to fix everything.

There is a mass psychological technique to put a presumptuous colleague in his place and change the status quo. You can turn to a psychologist for help, or even better - start helping people.

Just like that, without expecting a response from them. And then you will see how life will finally turn to face you and be painted with new unprecedented colors.

Family Preservation

If you have reached a dead end love relationship, but there is a desire to remain a couple, you can offer your other half: Let's start all over again from scratch!

However, in order to maintain such a relationship, you will have to try and the first thing to do is to forgive old grievances and not drag them into a new life. Learn to trust your loved one, because if he wanted to try, then he cares. It may be worth considering the option of moving to a new place of residence.

If your relationship is being killed by habit and the lack of new experiences, then there is a lot of work to be done on yourself. No matter how paradoxical it sounds, but in order to be of interest to another person, you need to stop being his shadow, but start living your own life.

Move away a little, make new acquaintances, start visiting new places. This will allow the other half to look at you with new eyes and see what he may not have noticed before.

A self-sufficient person always commands respect, you always want to be with such a person. The same applies to families. Starting a relationship with parents from scratch, you can only grow up.

If you feel strong enough in yourself, and your parents do not want to let you out from under their own wings, prove to them that you are already an adult and then they will understand that they can trust you and rely on you.

Consolidation of the result

Make it a rule to keep a diary of achievements and write down in it all the events that you are proud of. Make it a rule to set the stage for such events every day. This will become great incentive for further development.

Sometimes we realize that we are thoroughly stuck, that the life that we have is definitely not to our liking. There can be many reasons for this: our relationships can fail, the work we do can get boring, the people we have to deal with can become disgusting, and it can also happen that the thought flashes in the brain like a match that everything that is around - this is far from what we really need.

But regardless of the reasons that prompt you to change, you can start all over again, having previously clarified everything and determined for yourself guidelines and a plan for changing yourself and your life. I sincerely hope that these 15 steps help you start a new life and change yourself.

Step 1. Determine the direction of movement and your motivation.

Your life is always a movement towards a certain goal, regardless of whether you are aware of this goal or not. Your former life, which does not suit you, could be subordinated to someone else's false goal, which contradicted yours. inner nature, your nature, your desires and your values. For example, you were in a relationship that you didn't really want, or got a job that you were disgusted with, or talked to people who turned out to be complete strangers to you.

Now you can determine for yourself which trajectory you should move on, now you yourself are the master of your life path. Use the right motivation. Start from "Where am I going?" and not from "Why am I running?". Running away from something is not useful motivation. Avoidance unpleasant feelings does not decide real problems. Emotions tend to follow you wherever you go. Therefore, you will have to deal with them before you start a truly new life.

How to develop a life strategy

Step 2: Release yourself from the burden of loss or defeat.

Often, serious life events push us to start all over again. Divorce, separation, collapse of career plans, ruin of a business, job loss, health status. All this leaves a serious emotional imprint and can be a source of constant stress, worries, anxiety or even depression. You need to understand what to take serious decisions having such baggage is a very dangerous business.

If a life event made you feel deep and powerful emotions Well, it takes time for things to calm down. This gap can be reduced if you work through your experiences with the help of within one or more sessions.

Step 3. Explore your life

For the success of your enterprise at the beginning of a new life, it is not enough just to know where you need to move. It is also important to clearly know and clearly understand where you are starting from. Imagine that you are about to make a powerful jump into the water, but you are jumping from a very slippery bank. You spend your strength and energy on a powerful jump, but at the decisive moment you slip and everything goes down the drain.

To prevent this from happening in your story, study your past life (it will also be useful to go through rapid test "Life Analysis"), write it down on paper and study your habits, your past patterns of behavior in different life situations(for example, how you deal with difficulties or react to unexpected opportunities; how well you manage to follow through on your decisions, etc.).

Surely, in the process of studying your past life and your behavior, you will notice a lot of things that you would not like to notice, which will cause you rejection and internal resistance. But this is exactly what you should pay attention to in the first place.

“The darkness of low truths is dearer to us than the uplifting deception,” said Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. What is "low truth"?

They are what you know about yourself, but what to know, and even more so to hear from others, is unpleasant. What you drive from yourself. Things that require thinking make you feel uncomfortable. And in general - to grow. Uplifting deception does not promote growth. Ryaba the Hen is a film about low truths. I think that's why a lot of people don't get it.

Why wasn't Chaadaev accepted, why was he declared insane? Others even today categorically deny it. Although he was largely right. But he talked about "lower truths" that caused a feeling of discomfort, which was not customary to talk about. No one has yet been put in a lunatic asylum for "elevating deceit." And for the "low truths" suffered enough. As a rule, it is for them.

And this is not only in Russia - no one in the world needs a frightening truth. It needs to be hidden. So that few know it and do not allow others to see it ..

Konchalovsky A., Low Truths, M., "Collection" Top Secret ", 1999

Step 4. Examine your values

Before making big and serious decisions about what your new life will be, you should analyze your own life values. If you know what is most important to you, then based on your values, it will be easier for you to accept right decisions about how to start a new life and change yourself.

Take a sheet of paper and write down on it everything that you believe in, everything that you consider the main and important in life, in relationships between people, what things make you think deeply or inspire. Look at what you do in life, what you like to do and ask yourself a simple question: “Why?”, “What is it for?”. The answers you receive can reveal completely unexpected facets of your personality.

You can also consider several people (these may be living and familiar people, famous people or historical characters) that you admire and ask yourself: what do I respect most about them? Why? How can this play out in my own life?

Step 5: Decide what big changes you want to make

For some people, starting a “new life” can mean a major change: moving to another city or country, a complete renewal social connections, change professional area etc. For others, this may mean small but significant changes such as letting go of old habits or behaviors and focusing on developing a new way of life. Whatever you want, make sure you understand how big changes You want to do.

Find out what needs to change in your life. For example, is there something that makes you unhappy or dissatisfied? Or can you decide to change every aspect of my life for me, or would it be more appropriate to focus on one or two areas? Remember that change (especially when done without outside support) is always difficult, so start small and work your way up to be successful.

Step 6. Create an image of your new future

Do one useful exercise, which will help you figure out what goals and objectives to set for yourself and what changes need to be made. In addition, it will give you the necessary motivation and strengthen your intention to change.

Imagine a certain moment in the future. Let this moment have the exact date and time. Imagine that in this future, you have received the magical power to achieve all your hopes and dreams. You are exactly who you want to be.

Imagine it in as much detail as possible. Who surrounds you? Where do you live? What are you doing? What does it look like? Include as many details as possible to create the clearest possible image. One of my clients imagined that he was a successful designer, he had his own studio, interesting orders came to him from all over the world and he traveled a lot to other countries, doing interesting and amazing things (in reality, after a couple of years he really founded his studio and became receive foreign orders).

Now think about your strengths, abilities and skills that are needed to make this vision of the future a reality. What do you already have? What areas need improvement? Be honest with yourself. For example, if you want to be famous musician then you probably already have musical ability, or by at least love for music. You will also need more strong thinking to work on improvements.

Using your imagination to create an image of the future, make that image achievable and positive. Obviously, you cannot become a superhero or the owner of any superpowers and super-powers. Here you better think about what attracts you to such a superhero. His desire for justice and defense of the weak? Then you can choose for yourself a profession that contributes to the fulfillment of this mission. Or do you like the ability to make quick and accurate decisions? Then imagine how you should train your thinking to reach that level.

Step 7. Set clear and specific goals

famous sage Lao Tzu said: A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And your journey to a new life must also begin with concrete steps. Setting clear personal goals will help you move forward confidently and stay on course to build a new life.

Think about where you see yourself in 6 months, a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years or more.

Set your goals. Make sure they are well-defined goals, that is, they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and have clear deadlines.

Start by defining your big goal, and then break it down into smaller ones. Then break smaller goals into tasks.

For example, if you decide that you want to find your own business and make it a source of your income, this is your common goal. To achieve it, you will need to achieve smaller goals. For example, the first thing you should do is contact a professional who will help you find the case that suits your purpose (for my clients, this service is included in the program «» ), then you need to draw up a marketing plan and conduct a study of the target audience. Examples of tasks here can be: creating a test product, researching people's needs and their willingness to use this product, studying competitors and their products, analyzing the market, etc. You can split these tasks even further, for example, set yourself the task of communicating with potential customers or going to places where products are sold (services are provided) similar to the product that you are going to give.

Step 8: Determine what you need internal changes

In order for your new life project to be successful, you should think carefully about what internal changes you need to make in own personality. In other words, you need to define who you BE in order to successfully DO what will allow you to HAVE another life.

Let's take a look at what these internal changes can be.

It can be changes in your the physical state . You may decide that you must enter the new life with a new body. You may want to lose weight or improve your physical training, get a more athletic and developed body. Don't forget that excess weight depends on 2 main reasons: slagging of the body and low level vital activity.

I recommend you start by leveling up physical activity and do it gradually, increasing the load over a long time (at least 45 days), so that it becomes a habit for you. You may need the help of a consultant to develop an optimal program and change beliefs and mental attitudes that prevent you from changing your body.

It's easier with change appearance. You can choose your own style or consult with a stylist. Buy new clothes, change your hairstyle. Remember that how you dress and how you look affects how you feel and how others perceive you. Research has proven that when you dress in a way that aligns with your goals, you are more likely to achieve them.

Changes in worldview. It's about famous expression"You can take the girl out of the village, but you can't take the village out of the girl." If you do not want to be this most notorious "girl", then you have to work hard on how you think and how you perceive the world.

Think about what beliefs the person you want to become should have, how this person should perceive the world, people, events, relationships. What principles and rules should it be guided by. Explore the list of ,to get about a completely new way of looking at the world.

Changing your mindset is not an easy process. Force of habit, old patterns and inertia of thought can form the core of your personality. Within the framework of the program «» we do with clients so that a person can see his true nature and find his real self. After this process, any changes in consciousness with the help of any psychotechnics are much faster and easier.

emotional changes. In order for your new life to be prosperous, you need to learn to let go of your past. This includes the ability to forgive. Forgiveness frees you from the burden of past trauma and pain. You forgive others not for them, but for yourself. Research shows that forgiveness makes you feel less angry and anxious. Learn to also accept defeats and losses as part of life, pass them through the "sieve" of awareness and let go. And you will feel great relief.

Change your approach to life using the power of gratitude. Learn to thank life for any of its manifestations, remember that difficulties are on your life path These are trials, not punishments. Accept them as well as all the good things that happen to you.

Research has shown that practicing gratitude makes you feel happier and more content with life; it will help you learn flexibility and adaptability to change; strengthen your physical health and sleep quality, and can help you overcome emotional trauma. Practice the power of gratitude for 5 minutes every day 1 or more times.

Step 9: Rethink your relationship with people

The world is people, and life is relationships between people. It's hard to start a new life if there are "toxic" people in your environment who drag you down. In some cases, it is necessary to "cut" such people out of your life in the interests of your own safety. In other cases, you can simply stop spending time with them, and you will feel happier by removing them from your life.

Interpersonal relationships are critical to your functioning and improvement as a person. Numerous studies show that we strongly influence the people with whom we interact, so when starting a new life, take into it only those people who are important to you and will give you the love and respect that you deserve.

One of my clients, having decided to start a new life and start his own business, faced numerous difficulties, the reasons for which, as it turned out, lay in the fact that his so-called. "friends" were people not inclined to independent action and taking responsibility. They are used to living a measured, stable and dull life, and by communicating with them, my client involuntarily received nourishment for those parts of his personality that resisted risks and dangers. entrepreneurial activity. In practice, this led to the fact that "business did not move." My client needed a serious rethinking of the role of these people in his life in order for the situation to change and his business to begin to grow and develop.

The following anecdote illustrates this situation very well:

The old devil drowns in hell three boilers with sinners. A young imp is sent to him for practice.

Young Devil. Old Devil teaches him:

- So, look - the first boiler. He must be carefully monitored. The Jews are here. If at least one gets out, he will drag all his own behind him ...

Second boiler. Here you can keep an eye on the lid half-heartedly. The Americans are sitting here, it’s every man for himself, one will run away - it’s not scary, he won’t go far anyway.

You can not look at the third boiler at all. The Russians are here. If at least one climbs up, the rest will seize them and put them in the hottest place.

Clear your space of people:

• with whom you feel empty or constantly stressed
• who constantly criticize or judge you. And you feel like you can't do anything right when you're around them.
• who say bad things about you to your face or behind your eyes
• around whom you do not feel safe sharing your hopes, thoughts, needs or feelings.

Eliminate unhealthy social relations will help you more confidently and many times faster to move forward to a happy and healthy life. Formation of a favorable social environment that does not include your past habits is critical to ensuring your successful way. Surround yourself with people around whom you will grow as a person and develop towards a new life.

Step 10. Start a New Financial Life

Whether you just graduated from college or have been in the business for 30 years, it's never too early or too late to start your financial life over again. You might want to start saving for important life goals such as buying a house or enjoying a comfortable old age. Or maybe you want to rethink your spending habits to stop wasting money left or right. Or maybe you want to invest. Take a look at your goals and decide how you need to manage your money to get what you need.

Try to get rid of all your debts first. Debts - they former life. They have no place in the new life. One of my clients, after our work with her, got rid of 90% of her debts in less than 6 months. If you have more debt than you can pay, then current legislation allows you to carry out the procedure of personal bankruptcy. Perhaps this will be the right option for you.

Then analyze your finances. Structure your income and expenses, start budgeting. See where you can reduce "leaks" (for example, buying unnecessary things), and where you can get extra money (for example, by selling things that you do not use through the avito.ru service). In any case, keeping a budget will tell you good financial decisions.

Step 11. Talk to people

When you decide to start a new life, talking to people who are already living the life you want can be a very helpful move. This is useful because it can give you an idea of ​​how to get there. For example, if you want to discard boring boring work and do something that you love and that interests you, then you just need to look for those people who have already done business in your favorite business and, for example, take an interview from them, during which inquire about their road map". Perhaps one of these people will agree to become your Mentor on the way to a new life.

You can also ask people about difficult moments that may arise in your new life. You may be delusional about a new career, a new relationship, a new business, or a new country. Understanding the smallest details that others will tell you about will allow you to avoid many mistakes and wrong movements.

For example, you may dream of leaving your boring job in Moscow and moving to Bali, where life is paradise. If you interact with people who already live there, you may discover things you don't know about, like how incredibly expensive it is, unfriendly visa policies, health care issues, difficulty engaging in activities that require focus. Of course, this does not mean that you should not move, but this knowledge will help you better adapt to the realities of a new life.

Step 12: Get Support

Starting a new life can be a daunting prospect. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you and who can help and support you on your journey. Knowing that you have sources of emotional support will help you feel much stronger as you face the realities of your new life.

If you do not have family or reliable comrades who can support you, then it makes sense to look for such support elsewhere. This may be support within interest groups or communities or even religious communities. Go where people freely and openly communicate with each other and make new acquaintances.

Step 13: Test Yourself

The big life changes that are needed to start a new life will require serious work, dedication and patience from you. This can be stressful and intimidating. Make sure you are ready for this. How are you feeling? What kind of behavior is acceptable to you? Are you worried about something? Keeping a diary will help you understand your emotions and determine if there are areas where you need more support or need deep work.

The process of serious profound changes in life can often cause a feeling of depression. You may start to feel sad, stop enjoying certain things, feel anxious or guilty, feel empty or hopeless inside. In this case, quickly and painlessly you can help . Work on this technology allows you to eliminate the negative emotional sensations within one session.

Step 14: Make the necessary changes

A new life will not mean that difficulties, obstacles and problems will disappear forever. Starting a new career does not mean that you will never again feel unappreciated or uninspired. Moving to new town or new country does not mean you will never miss home. When you have problems, acknowledge them as such and do what you need to do to resolve them and adapt to the situation.

You may face a lot of difficulties on your way to a new life. For example, perhaps you wanted to do military career to follow your values ​​of service and honor, but found out that you are not healthy enough to enter military school. You could see this as the failure and collapse of your dream, or you could go back to the "drawing board" and see if there are other things you can do that will also allow you to express these core values.

Step 15: Work with a consultant

Even if you don't think anything is going "wrong" in the process of building your new life, it can be helpful to reach out to a counselor or personal trainer, especially when it comes to making major changes. The fact is that such a difficult process as starting a new life and changing oneself can contain a variety of mistakes and hidden obstacles that can only be seen from the outside. A good consultant is able to give you a quality feedback and protect from a waste of time, effort and resources.

Another point is that profound personal changes are always accompanied by stress and internal resistance(self-sabotage). Sometimes they are so strong that they give up and lose all desire to move forward. With the help of a consultant, you can work out and get rid of internal fears blocking changes. The consultant can also help you find out helpful ways thinking and responding to challenges.

Seeking a counselor is a sure sign that you love yourself and take care of yourself enough to get help when it's needed and helpful, and that's - good news. A personality change consultant is to you what a dentist is to your teeth: You fix minor problems and complexities before they become catastrophic.

Start a new life today!

After reading this article, you may decide: “OK, this is all great! I will definitely take these recommendations into account and even begin to follow some of them.” But the fact is that the process of change is a systemic process, where everything is clearly connected with each other and each step affects the other. It is important not to make a mistake here.

Do you want to know how to start a new life in which there will be self-realization, lofty sense, activity, motivation, strength, leadership, new discoveries, energy, exciting changes, interesting game, new horizons, pleasure from the lived moment, clear understanding own way, lack of self-sabotage and uncertainty, clarity of intention and action? And at the same time, you will not make gross mistakes and avoid many “pitfalls”, and the journey itself will take several months instead of decades.

Then . I will give you a solution!

Every Monday, month or year, we hope many strive to start life with a clean slate. There is a hope in my soul that now I will definitely live in a new way, but expectations are not always justified.

Life with a clean slate

If change does not come by itself, a revolution is needed - in the way of thinking and behavior. Ask yourself some questions that will help you figure out how to change tomorrow.

Do you have goals?

It is necessary to strive for something, otherwise the guidelines for growth are lost. Longing, anxiety appear, it becomes unclear why to do certain things, who needs all this.

Sometimes rationalism does a disservice. A person wants an expensive car, but strives for at least some, in the end he remains empty-handed. And if he had dreamed of a specific brand, the situation could have developed in such a way that a good job and money would have appeared to buy that same car.

What to do? Listen to yourself and understand what you need. The desire must be bold, invigorate, then it comes from the heart. Imagine that everything has come true and the long-awaited moment has come. And now - what will you lose if you do not achieve your goal. This will give you an incentive to act. New tasks will give strength, make you do what is necessary easily and with pleasure.

Main condition - clear wording. Many dreams are illogical, like a kaleidoscope of bright pictures that cannot be structured. If you want an apartment, you need to draw everything in detail - from the area and number of storeys of the house to interior items. Details bring implementation closer. And there is no magic in this, you just build a ladder between yourself and the goal, where each step is a plan of action.

The anticipation of victory has a good effect on well-being

Do you feel supported?

A lot depends on your environment. Sometimes friends or relatives unconscious level pull down: laugh at your great plans, doubt your abilities. Following them, you lose faith in yourself and stop acting.

What to do? Every time you give up, cheer up, otherwise you will simply wither away.

Try to surround yourself successful people that inspire and energize. Gradually adopting their habits, turns of speech, demeanor, you will also achieve heights in a certain area.

dreaming about financial stability- look at those who earn serious money. You should share your hopes and plans only with such people, they know for sure that everything you are striving for can really be obtained. If you want a harmonious family, communicate with married ladies who are happy in marriage. If you are planning a child, make friends with those who already have healthy and strong children.

Start life from scratch, but leave a copy of old mistakes

Do you like what you are doing?

The taste for life and energy gives only what brings pleasure. Therefore, do not forget to give yourself - beloved (oh), beautiful (oh), wonderful (oh) and unique (oh) - as much time as possible, pamper yourself.

What to do? Find a hobby. Not lucky to have Good work- Find a hobby that brings you joy. But it is necessary to maintain a balance and develop in other directions too. Otherwise, you can become, for example, financially successful, but with problems in the family and large quantity sores.

Give equal amount strength to the main areas of life: health, relationships, money and personal growth. Do not miss the opportunity to learn something, it opens up new horizons. Then everything will be easy, and the rest will decide that you are the minion of fate.

He who has experienced the pleasure of creativity, for him all other pleasures do not exist.

Don't be afraid to change. Only their release, no matter how trite it may sound, is the engine of self-development. Starting life from scratch is always scary, but if you are not satisfied with the present, then what are you afraid of losing? :)

"Tomorrow" motivation for action

Perhaps, in the life of every person there have been periods when one wanted to give up everything, cross out, erase, tear and, leaving, burn bridges behind oneself in order to start a new life. How to start life from scratch, when all meaning is lost and disappointment in life reaches its climax? Accept a series of dramatic changes!

Changes of any nature can be either rapid, severe, comprehensive - revolutionary, or soft, long, gradual - evolutionary. Of course, evolution is better than revolution in changing one's own life as well as in other areas.

Evolution is always less painful and destructive (both for the person himself and for those around him), but due to the fact that many people like to stretch their problems to the size of a catastrophe, often only in a revolutionary way manages to solve them. By analogy with the disease, we can say that while life problem small, it can be eliminated by taking pills, but if it is already life-threatening, a serious operation is needed.

For example, if a woman has been putting up with her unemployed, idle and doing nothing but asking her for money for drinks, her husband, while supporting him and the whole family, there is only one way out - divorce and eviction from the apartment. If the problem is that there is less passion and more routine in the relationship between husband and wife, the evolutionary method is suitable: to make changes in everyday life, duties, add extreme, novelty to life, change externally or internally to both or one of the spouses and etc.

Is it easy to start life from scratch?

To start life from scratch, sometimes you need absolutely minor changes such as renovating an apartment, talking to wise man, a change of image or a trip to a country that you have long wanted to visit.

It happens that a new life begins imperceptibly as a result of the gradual development of personality and self-improvement. But more often than not, people need quick and significant change life circumstances , which is unlikely to happen by itself (or it will take another lifetime).

As a rule, several cardinal changes or a complete change in lifestyle are required at once. To start living from scratch, you need to put in front of you such goal.

Unfortunately, there are people (and there are many of them) who live in ignorance or unwillingness to change something, even if life brings them nothing but suffering. Such people either consciously choose the path of torment, considering it the right one, or simply find and receive unhealthy pleasure or hidden benefit from their torment.

What do they want people who are aware of the need for life changes? Most often these are such desires:

The problems that caused the desire to start life from scratch are different, they are special for each person (although they may be perceived by others as typical), but final goal one is a happy life.

Every person wants to be happy, the only difference is that some people expect happiness as a miracle and believe in such an opportunity for themselves, others always complain that they got an unfortunate fate and do not try to change anything, and still others believe in better life and create it with their own work.

Analysis of the old and design of the new life

The Russian language is unusually rich in meanings. Very often in words set phrases, sayings and proverbs are hidden answers to many complex life questions.

So the phrase “starting life from scratch” already contains the answer on how to do this: arm yourself with a blank sheet of paper and a pen. For what? In order to describe the desired new life and begin to turn the dream into reality.

There are no and cannot be universal recommendations on how to start life from scratch, but psychologists recommend sticking to the following action algorithm:

1. The very first and most important understand that it's time to start life from scratch, to dare it, to overcome fears and self-doubt. There is simply no other way but to gain courage and courage.

You need to pick up a blank sheet of paper and write the title "My new, happy life!"

1. Answer two questions:

• What's stopping you from being happy?

Answers must be written one under the other in the left half of the sheet.

This question is easy to answer for most people. Anything that gets in the way is what it is. pressing problems: unloved job, loneliness, unfaithful husband / wife, self-doubt, overweight, lack of money and so on.

You need to write down everything that comes to mind, and not only external interference, but also internal barriers. Then choose and emphasize the largest and generating other difficulties, life difficulties. It may be that there is only one main problem, and by pulling on it like a thread, it will be possible to unwind the whole tangle of troubles. If such a problem is found, it should be highlighted separately.

• What will make me happy?

Write down the answers also in the column only on the right, opposite the first list.

When answering this question, you need to try to be as accurate as possible. If you need money, then how much, if a husband, then what kind, and so on.

The result will be two columns that are very similar in content, only the first will describe the problems, and the second will solve them. Perhaps one problem will have several solutions, or vice versa.

Decisions will be either cardinal, revolutionary or softer, evolutionary.

For example, an annoying girlfriend prevents you from living happily, constantly calling on the phone and talking for hours about your problems (as a result, things are not done, the mood is at zero, breakdowns at home and quarrels with them). For happiness, there is not enough either a sharp and complete break in relations with a girlfriend (a cardinal measure) or a gradual reduction in the time of communication with her (a milder measure).

You need to imagine, dream about how you want to live, and then write down or sketch all the desires on a piece of paper.

These dreams should not be sky-high, but achievable. When dreaming, to imagine is not what is accepted, it is fashionable to want in society, but what suits, complements, makes truly happy.

Can you imagine one day happy life and describe it: how it starts, what kind of people are nearby, what the day is filled with, what is the work schedule, what kind of rest, and so on.

In fact, the picture of a happy life is a set of answers to the question “What will make me happy?”, only not scattered, but integral.

From words to actions

After it becomes clear what needs to be got rid of for good and what needs to be brought into life so that it changes dramatically in better side need to take active steps.

Naturally, after the analytical work done, drawing up a picture of a happy life, building new plans, each person will develop their own goals, but as an example, the following will be described active actions to help you change your life:

• change of thinking from negative to positive,
• increased self-confidence, optimism,
• taking responsibility for one's own life,
• changing of the living place,
• change of circle of communication, environment,
• change of occupation or place of work,
• change of marital status,
• acquiring a new hobby
• change in image, appearance,
• getting rid of fears, complexes and other psychological problems,
• resolution of health problems
• getting rid of bad habits and addictions,
• the acquisition of new, positive habits (walking in nature, reading, playing sports, living in the present and enjoying life, asking for forgiveness and forgiving, helping loved ones, others).

It is worth starting changes from the very main problem. For example, if life is poisoned by an unloved job, it is necessary, first of all, to change it, perhaps all other aspects of life will improve after that by themselves.

If it is difficult to start with radical changes, you can take on smaller ones, the main thing is to begin.

The second important thing to remember is that fundamental changes must be deliberate and not hasty. When you quit your job, it’s better to find another one in advance, or at least understand that you can find it. When leaving to live in another city, learn in advance and as much as possible about how people live there. When entering into a new relationship, take a closer look at your partner, and not through rose-colored glasses.

What else is extremely important to know and not forget when changing life is that any external changes impossible without internal transformations. Sometimes just only inner work above itself and serves to change life.

For example, there is a huge difference when a person moves to a new place of residence due to the fact that he cannot be realized as a professional and another situation when he cannot hold on to any job due to an irresponsible attitude to work. In the first case, a person will move, find himself and live for a long time (maybe forever), and in the second he will move from place to place, not realizing that he needs to change not his job or place of residence, but himself.

Hence another important conclusion: need know what mistakes have been made in the past so as not to repeat them in the future. At the same time, remember that no one is immune from mistakes. In a new life, they, too, may be, but they should not be taken as a failure, this is an experience and while it can still be corrected, this must be done immediately, without delaying or increasing the scale of the problems.

And finally, even if you have to step into nowhere, starting life from scratch, not knowing what lies ahead, it is better to take this risky step than to live your whole life feeling like an unhappy person.

On the life path of each person come certain moments that you would like to avoid. From similar psychological blows no one is safe. Foreseeing all situations in advance is subject only to clairvoyants, and even then not always. Sometimes a person wonders how to completely change his life, due to the fact that the previous alignment does not meet his ideas about happiness.

Causes

The most common situations or circumstances that force you to reconsider your views include:

• Unloved work or occupation not one's own business. Often a person becomes a hostage to his own professional employment, although it does not bring a decent material income and personal growth. Sometimes the fear of changing something is so great that it is better to let everything remain the same.
• Exhausted relationships. When a partner stays around more out of habit than of their own free will.
• Unsettled personal life. It seems that by age it is high time to start a family, but only there is no suitable candidate. However, the relationship is not built as smoothly as we would like.
• lack of a normal way of life.
• Serious illnesses, one's own, one of the relatives or friends, as well as the loss of one of the loved ones due to a tragedy or an incurable diagnosis.
• Overweight, which is becoming a problem every day.

How to start a new life and change yourself?

To give good advice on this occasion, it must be remembered that much here depends on the initial state of the person, his current situation and psychological mood. Many people are pushed on the path of change by their close environment. Some seek advice on how to change themselves, professional psychologists. The solution to the problem depends on starting point in which the person is this moment. Much also depends on age.

What should a teenager do for the better?

The first rather difficult psychological period begins around 11 and ends at 17-18. How to start a new life for a teenager if something went wrong on his way. Reasons for such a decision there may be many. For example, often in adolescence children are experiencing a divorce of their parents. If the child was very close to the father who suddenly leaves the family, this can cause a deep psychological trauma. During this period, adolescents are highly susceptible to negative influence society. Sometimes at this age they try drugs or alcohol for the first time.

To understand how to start a new life and change yourself, you should honestly look the problem in the eye. During this period, the teenager will need the support of someone close or the help of a psychologist. After the "debriefing" you need to take as much as possible free time useful activities. Psychological pain is useful to treat physical labor or loads. So, most of the great athletes, as well as famous people became so thanks to life's difficulties that forced them to show their will. A person who finds himself next to a teenager at a difficult moment for him should help him not withdraw into himself, perceive the world positively, and also figure out how to start a new life from scratch.

Changing life in 30-35 years

At any other age, people are no less susceptible to the influence of severe psychological periods. That is why the change of job most often falls on the interval of 27-30 years, until the age of 35 a person tries to realize himself, his ambitions. If the reality is at least a hundredth of the same as the expectations, there is a chance that the age waves will pass quietly.

If, nevertheless, a person realizes that the circumstances in which he lives do not suit him, the question arises of how to start a new life and change himself. The advice of a psychologist on this matter is very diverse. Let's consider the main points.

Action plan

Effective method: you need to become what you want

Many psychologists advise using this method: in order to be who you want, you first need to become like such a person. Here's how it works. A person chooses a behavior pattern. For example, having bad habits, he accepts completely The person behaves like an athlete, attends appropriate events, dresses appropriately. Over time, he begins to feel physically developed, a healthy person. Subsequently, this is what happens. Everything works on the power of self-hypnosis.

What to do at 40?

Enough difficult period is this age. It has to do with many things in life. How to start a new life at 40? The situation should be assessed, positive points reconsider your actions and just calm down. The first step is to let go of your past, whatever it may be. You should tell yourself - what is not there is no longer worth anything. If memories only bring negative emotions need to be protected from them. A person must make it clear to himself that:

• all responsibility for actions lies solely on him;
• All events in life happen for a reason. If we cannot change the outcome of the case, then we must try to accept it;
• he himself is a powerful source vitality. No one except the person himself can influence changes for the better.

Methods

How to start a new life at 40? There are also simple ways:

• to find own hobby for which there was not enough time before;
• meet new interesting people;
• change image;
• make repairs to your home, update the situation;
• rethink your habits.

Parting phrases

We figured out how to start a new life and change yourself. Summing up, consider the list once said by the greats. May they bring confidence to everyone:

• Starting the path anew, you need to understand that all changes will not happen at once.
• In order to successfully take a hundred steps, you must dare to take the first. Everything happens in life, but with a positive attitude to everything that happens, it seems that the sun shines brighter.
• Man is the greatest creation of the universe. Realizing your uniqueness, you can be confident in your own high self-esteem and the success that lies beyond the horizon of the future.
• You cannot return the moment, but you can live it here and now.
• When people meet along the way, they are given to a person in order to see himself from the outside. Some give an image of the past, others - the mistakes of the present, others - the possibility of the future.
• All the troubles in life must be translated into attempts to gain experience, and this is priceless.
• Gratitude - greatest feeling, which opens closed doors, indicates the right way, soothes the spirit.
• Observing the purity of thought, a person brings it into his actions.
• We show the world what we have in abundance inside, and others look at us as well.