Hello, dear readers. Each of us has faced such a situation when it was vital to support a loved one who knew the loss. And there is no such person who would not think about how to express condolences on the occasion of death.
What is condolences
How to convey to a person that you sympathize with him, worry and are simply ready to support with all your might? What is condolences, and what should not be said? Let's try to figure it out.
Let's start with a definition. On the one hand, words of grief are an expression of moral support for a person experiencing grief. On the other hand, it is the duty of a person present at a funeral or death anniversary, an unshakable rule of etiquette that should be observed.
Fact. On the day of mourning, everyone, regardless of desire, should say these two words: "my condolences."
Mourning words should not offend, offend, or assess the current situation. Their main role is sympathy, simple and human. It is not necessary to write poetry, long obituaries and make sentimental speeches about the deceased. Your task is to provide support to relatives - moral, financial, physical.
In addition, one must be aware that the burial rite is not only a symbolic send-off to another world, but also a very troublesome business that requires physical and financial assistance, because organizing a whole procession of a funeral is not so simple.
That is why an envelope with a small amount of money given to a person who has lost loved one, will become the so-called humanitarian aid.
Words of grief on the occasion of death
Condolences on the death of a Muslim must contain following words: “may Allah send you patience”, “may Allah forgive your deceased”, “may Allah send you happiness to your house in return for grief”.
The words of sorrow in this faith also mean instructions, prayers for forgiveness, parting words and wishes for earthly blessings in return for the grief that overtook the family.
Speaking about the death of a father or mother, you can use the well-established phrases:
- This loss is irreplaceable for all of us. The loss of such support, reliable and so close, is always hard to accept.
- Please accept my sincere condolences. I knew your father (mother), it was very good man. We will never forget him, eternal memory to him.
- There are no words to express my grief. It's terrible, and losing such a person is like losing a piece of your soul, your heart. Hold on, we are with you.
It is especially difficult to find words of sympathy for a person who has lost his child - a son or daughter. What can be said other than "Be strong"? Maybe something like this:
This is a terrible shock for us. I can't believe he/she left so soon. It was so early for him to leave this world, but time spares no one. If there is heaven in the world, then let it go there. He deserves more.
Advice. Common phrases exist so that you can compose your monologue, short, but capacious in meaning. These are, first of all, templates that are designed to help those who find it difficult to express their thoughts on such an occasion.
Condolences on the death of her husband, father
Any tragically cut short life causes pain and bitterness in the hearts of people. When expressing grief to people who have lost their husband, father, you must understand who this person was for his family:
- It is very difficult to accept such a loss, a husband is an indestructible support, a head, and it so happened that he is no longer with us all. Patience to you, my dear, strength. We offer our condolences.
- Please accept our deepest condolences and help, symbolic, but still. Such terrible tragedy came to your house, may God give you strength and peace to your house.
- Everlasting memory him... What a man, what a personality. He was truly amazing and sincere, may the earth rest in peace to him, we will miss him very much.
Well, let's say, approximately such words of grief are said to those in need of support to relatives.
Remember, these are just generalized examples of how to speak at funerals and during days of mourning. Along with such phrases, as a rule, you should offer an envelope with in cash. Let this help be even a symbolic drop in the ocean, but the sea consists of just such drops.
Do not be afraid to hug a person, offer a handkerchief, bring carnations to the altar of the deceased. Each step of an attempt to get closer and help a person will echo in him an echo of kindness and warmth. The grieving person needs support more than any words, no matter how well-coordinated and beautiful they are.
mourning clothes
At the entrance to the house where mourning takes place, according to the rules of etiquette, men are supposed to take off their hats, this rule does not apply to women. Also take care of your appearance. Discreet, without rhinestones, crystals and bright prints, floor-length black dresses are perfect for such an evening.
An open neckline, bright makeup are not allowed, and men are supposed to dress in formal suits, soft sweaters and shirts are allowed.
Advice. Sometimes appearance A man says more than his words. A vulgar appearance is not allowed either for girls or for adult ladies. Be modest, decent, speak in a calm, quiet voice, and keep banal valerian tablets in your purse.
A funeral or death anniversary can be both calm and civilized and extremely emotional.
What not to say on a day of mourning
If you compile the top of the most stupid and inappropriate phrases about the death or anniversary of death, then the honorable first place will be taken by the expression of the kind: “How are you?”. Do you agree?
We will give the second place to the replica: “This was to be expected” or “It was predetermined by fate.”
Stupid phrases like "That's life" and "We'll all be there." Hearing this is not the most pleasant thing for a person in mourning. And to say such a thing should be enough courage and shamelessness, however, even such amazing people are.
Do not show excessive concern for a person who is in a mourning mood. Let him be with his thoughts, cry, say goodbye to the deceased and just come to his senses.
Expressing grief in a letter
In the age of high industry, it is not necessary to turn your wallet inside out for a carrier pigeon. It is enough to write an SMS or a letter: short, but conveying the meaning of your words.
Thus, you remind about yourself, show how you worry and sympathize. Even a small SMS message will be a good message and good support.
In such a message, it is necessary to fit very briefly capacious phrases. For example:
Please accept my condolences, great tragedy. I mentally with you, hug, kiss.
Such Messages can be sent to a friend, a colleague, a mother, and a grandfather.
But if you decide to write whole memoirs about your grief, then prepare a pen and ink, the speech should be uncompromisingly expressing your feelings.
Sample text letters may contain the following expressions:
When I found out what happened, I couldn't hold back my tears. There are no words to express the pain of loss. I am sincerely sorry that such a long distance separates us, and I cannot personally support you, just hug you at such a difficult moment in life. I hope that the closest people are with you now, and they support you.
If you invest a couple of three banknotes, I think this letter will express your sincere feelings even more and show that you support the person close to you with all your might.
How Orthodox condolences are expressed
Orthodoxy believes in afterlife where both hell and heaven exist. Every person, professing Orthodoxy, hopes to get to heaven to the Lord God himself, therefore, if you express words of sorrow and condolences to an Orthodox person, the expressions will be quite appropriate:
- Rest in peace;
- God grant you patience and all the best;
- The Lord is generous and merciful, may he forgive our sins;
- Sleep in peace, may God rest his soul.
Be punctual, behave naturally and courteously. Support sign and good relationship is your attention. In this way, you show an unwillingness to stand aside when grief has happened to loved ones.
I hope this article was helpful to you. Do not make long obituaries - speak sincerely and from the heart. Share this tip with your friends and family on social media. Subscribe to our blog updates. All the best!
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21. There are no words to express all the pain and sorrow of our soul.
22. Eternal memory of you.
23. You are always in our memory.
24. I miss you so much for complete human happiness.
25. I am empty on earth without you. 26. Thank you for living (living).
27. great tribulation cannot be measured, cannot be filled with tears of grief, You are not with us, but you will live forever in our hearts.
28. We would give everything, a piece of our heart, Only yours would beat again.
29. The heart went out, like lightning, the pain will not quench the year, Your image will forever be stored in our memory forever.
30. Everything was in him (her) - soul, talent and beauty, everything sparkled for us, like a bright dream.
31. How much of ours has gone with you, how much of yours has remained with us.
32. You left life (left) incomprehensibly early, Parents are oppressed by sadness and a wound bleeds in their hearts, Your son is growing up, not knowing the word "mother" ("daddy").
33. You left (left) so early, without saying goodbye and without saying a word to us, How can we continue to live, making sure that you will no longer return to us.
34. The tears of your mother, the sadness of your father, the loneliness of your brother, the grief of grandparents will be eternal for you.
35. Like drops of dew on roses, tears on our cheeks, sleep peacefully, Darling, we all remember you, love and mourn. 36. The earth was empty without you.
37. Forgive us for wearing flowers under the starry sky to your stove. Forgive us for the air that you didn’t breathe (breathed).
38. They don’t part with their loved ones, they just stop being around.
39. We can’t find words to describe our grief, We can’t find strength in the world to lift you up, Our words can’t fit even in the sea, How cruel is fate that took you away.
40. Unable to overcome grief, bear the pain of loss, No one could help you, forgive us (name), forgive us.
41. In the hearts of people leaving their mark good deeds, We do not say the word "no", we say: "You are forever with us."
42. Time stopped running and the pain squeezed my whole soul, A man left the life, of which there are few in the world.
43. You left (la) from life, but not from the heart.
44. How I want to scream in pain that you are no longer in the world!
45. I will never meet you, and I know that it will always be so.
46. The earth has become poorer with one flower, the heavens have become richer with one star.
47. Angel, dear, I'm sorry, it's my fault (a), That I was not (a) at the hour of death next to you
48. The heart still does not believe in a bitter loss, As if you did not die (la), but went (la) somewhere.
49. When people forget you, all your friends forget, Only your heart will remember you, and that heart will be me.
50. Unexpected grief, immeasurable grief, the most important thing in life - Lost, sorry for us that life cannot be repeated, To give it to you again.
52. We come here to put flowers. It is very difficult, dear, we can live without you.
53. We wish you good luck in that unknown and new world, so that you are not lonely, so that the angels do not depart.
54. Bending down, we stand over your grave, with a hot tear Watering the flowers, we don’t want to believe, our beloved son (father), That you are in this grave.
55. Sleep well, our dear son (father)
56. You passed away too soon, our pain cannot be expressed in words. Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound, but the memory of you is always alive.
57. Love for you, dear son, will die only with us, And our pain and our sorrow cannot be expressed in words.
58. To you, the one and only, we bow our heads.
59. And earthly life ended, all the forces faded away in you, Farewell, our dear beloved, eternal memory to you.
60. Forgive us that we did not dare to give our love to you during our lifetime, You forgave us, left us, we remained eternal debtors.
61. You lived your life with dignity, leaving our memory forever, In a silent world, sleep peacefully, our beloved person.
62. A serious illness broke you, passed away without living, Dear, our beloved son, how difficult it is for us to live without you.
63. We are forever, son with you, God, calm his soul
64. I loved you very much, I always lived with you, Forgive me, my dear son, that I did not save you.
65. You were an example for us to follow, We still live, referring to you. To you, father, we come on a date To consult in happiness and trouble.
66. All life ended with you, you have no life, and we do not have, The most dear, beloved son, beloved child has passed away.
67. You are in us, dear, like our blood, And death has no power over you, as long as there is love in the world!
68. Thank you, my clear, for being in the world!
69. You left us, dear, the mournful hour of separation has come. But everything is still alive, you are in our heart among us.
70. You don’t make noise, don’t wake our mother.
71. You left life instantly, the pain remained for us forever, But we will never forget your beloved gentle image.
72. We love you and you are always alive in our memory.
73. Do not find out where I have inclined the path, To what limit I have passed from life, oh friend, I have done everything earthly, I loved and lived on earth.
74. You, mother, gave us your warmth, We believe that your soul is calm and light.
75. May the fire not go out to the end and the memory of the one who awakened hearts for life, and now has found eternal rest, remain.
76. I loved you, I will not forget you, I will love you in eternity
77. Quiet, trees, do not make noise with foliage, mommy is sleeping, do not wake her up.
78. Sometimes angels descend from heaven, To warm with their warmth and love, You were such an angel, our beloved girl.
79. Sleep, my beloved daughter, calmly, You are yours short cut passed honestly and joyfully.
80. We love you very much, our daughter. Well, why did the night hide you so early
81. You were a clear star, how dim the world became, When the star went out.
82. What words can I find so that you can hear My soul's confession? And on what string to play, So that you could come running, as before, on a date?
83. A rose has fallen, broken by the wind...
84. Lord, we give you our smallest angel.
85. How could we think that on this day You will step from childhood to eternity ...
86. You passed away too soon, our pain cannot be expressed in words. Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound, but the memory of you is always alive.
87. To our little angel who returned to heaven
88. You, like an angel, soared into the sky, how little you stayed with us ..
89. Calm down, mom and dad! Gentle angels guard my sleep.
90. No, I will not reconcile myself until my death, with the terrible burden of being That children die before adults, that you died, I remained.
91. You, baby, were cherished, raised, carried in their arms, They took you to kindergarten. Now they sing to you, bowing down, eating Farewell at the eternal cradle.
92. Wonderful child, unfair fate did not give you to me, But only showed me and immediately took away.
93. Words cannot express all sorrow and sorrow, In hearts and memory you (you) are with us
94. We are grateful to you without end, we do not forget about you, And we remember your souls and hearts alive.
95. No ... They didn’t leave, but they repeated themselves in children.
96. What a pity that late we realized how much we miss you
97. Life separated them, but death united them. Two pure souls now in the same grave.
98. Sleep in peace, my dear ones, I (we) will dedicate my life to your memory (we will dedicate it).
99. You will never be on earth again, But you gave us life, raised us And left us here as your continuation.
100. Lord, let your will be done!
101. Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
102. Sleep in peace and pray to God for us
103. Blessed pure in heart for they will see God.
104. Lord, with the saints, rest the soul of your servant (s) (s) (Name)
105. Give us strength to understand the Divine covenant - With God, everyone is alive, but there are no dead.
106. As we (me) you, our (my) dear is not enough ... And only a prayer helps us (me) in sorrow.
107. Here rests in the world (Name), To once rise in Christ
108. The Lord himself sent you to earth. He was your Shepherd and now he has called…
109. You lived your life in merging with God - Now the road to Him is easy for you.
110. Do not pass, passerby, stop, bow down to my damp grave, pray for me a sinner.
111. Earthly life is fleeting, but ahead is heavenly paradise, We will remember you forever, so rise quickly
112. Help and save, save and shelter, Bring me with soft snow, look at me, Here I am all (all) before you, oh Lord, give me peace.
113. Nature is wise and the Supreme eye Sees our every step on thorny road. There comes a time when each of us last line remembers God.
114. The dust will return to the earth, which it was, And the spirit will return to God, who gave it.
115. God created the stars, the blue distance, But he surpassed himself, creating sorrow for loved ones.
116. Passerby, pray over this grave, He found shelter in it from all earthly anxieties, Here he left everything that was sinful in him, With the hope that his Savior, God, lives.
117. Lord, on earth he had sorrows and sorrows, Give him joy in heaven.
118. Give him, O God, remission of sins, Give him eternal rest.
119. Kingdom of Heaven and eternal rest to you.
120. God, forgive him (her) sinful soul And accept him as he (a) was (a)
121. No need to cry for me, the soul is subject only to God, She set off on a journey through an unknown country. There is a kingdom of light, a kingdom of stars, There is a kingdom of world harmonies, so take your palms away from your eyes And smile, there is no need for tears.
122. How the heart cries, the pain cannot be conveyed. We mourn and remember every minute. Time cannot take away this pain. Oh God, help us get through the separation.
123. When the escape of life is torn out without pity, When the body turns to dust forever. Let them make a pitcher from this dust And fill it with wine: A man will come to life.
124. Life without You is empty. Where the dream lived, flowers die in tears. It's sad to live without you. Not believing that You will never return to us.
125. Do not part with your loved ones. Grow in them with all your heart. And every time forever say goodbye when you leave for a moment.
126. And let the evening light candles for me. And your image is wrapped in smoke. But I don't want to know that time heals. Everything goes with him.
127. Why and who needs it. Who sent you death with a non-trembling hand Only so mercilessly, so evil and unnecessary. Who let you into Eternal Peace.
128. Don't cry for me when I'm gone. After all, in the sky you will find a star. And my sorrow will depart from you. After all, my star is so far away.
129. The pain of separation is incurable. Separation of the one that is forever.
130. Eternal sleep for you, and eternal longing for us.
131. The farewell candle will burn out. And your eyes will fill with tears. It's hard to live in the world without you. And believe that you are not with us.
132. To the one who is dear to life. Look quiet, who remembers "yataє that sumuє.
133. The heart is clenched, the soul is crying loudly, There is no important grief, lower the cost of your life.
134. Thy sun does not rise, and thy month is no longer safe, For the Lord will be your eternal light.
135. Without you, the earth was empty for us. How cruel fate that took you away.
136. How much of ours has gone with you. How much of you is left with us.
137. We can't bring you back with tears. Sorrow cannot measure sadness.
138. It's so easy to imagine you alive. That your death is unbelievable.
139. Last debt our, mournful stone, The cup of sorrow is full. Not more joy in the world, Pain and sorrow alone remained.
140. That day, when your eyes went out, and the heart stopped beating, For us it was the most terrible day, And we will not be able to put up with it.
141. There are no words in the world to describe our grief. Do not find the strength in the world to lift you up. Do not contain our tears even in the sea. How cruel fate that took you away.
142. You left kindness and love alive, No matter how many years have passed: We love, remember, mourn ...
143. And he stands before my eyes. Alive, with a smile on his lips. Not! Not! He is always with us and will live in our hearts.
144. A person leaves the world. Like a guest from a friend's feast. He got tired of the mess. I finished my glass, my dinner was over. Tired. Enough. Rest is needed. It's time to go home.
145. You left life instantly, but the pain remained forever.
146. For the rest of our lives, we will have enough grief and sadness, About the one whom we loved and so suddenly lost.
147. We could not lose more, our grief has no boundaries. Grief cannot be expressed, cannot be described, there is very little of a granite page.
148. You believed your friends. Was deceived by love. But above us is God. Punishment is coming. God's punishment is not a myth. What has passed will return. Those who took you away will be punished.
149. Grief of suffering, despair, the seas of life are full of stormy waves. Their splashes are tears and blood. But to a man in a vale of languor, wonderful sisters are given as a consolation. Faith Hope Love. And encouraging the tired soul, Faith brings us firmness with it. She casts doubts. We look forward with more hope. The dark distance is clearer and brighter. Full of marvelous joy. The third sister is God's breath, no suffering is terrible with her. Her temple is our hearts. It has compassion, pity, compassion. It has beauty, forgiveness, happiness. Kingdom of love without end...
150. Your hands did not know fatigue. Your lips never lose heart. You walked through life loving work. May the earth rest in peace to you.
151. I loved you, I loved life, but it's not my fault that I didn't live long enough. Now for you I will become a wind, a birch, a blade of grass, flowers. Stroke their mother, it's me, your pain is with you forever.
152. More trohi to live on the duma Bulo, and maybe live bi. That sun has gone.
153. We stand bent over your grave. We water the flowers with hot tears, I don’t want to believe my dear and beloved, That you are in this grave.
154. Pishov see us too early. Nobody could save you. There is only a deep wound on the heart. I'm sorry sinok, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
155. You walked through life smiling. Left us all without saying goodbye. How the heart cries, it is impossible to convey. We mourn and remember
156. Pishov from life is too early. For no one could lie. Such a deep wound in the heart. As long as you live with us.
157. The earth has become poorer with one flower. Heaven became richer with one soul. You were so little with us in this life. But your memory is always in our hearts. 158. Hi! Do not pishov ty in nebuttya, even though the heart was beating in agony. Leaving you a part of your squad for life, to children and onuks. 159. Don't let go of grief. Do not cry tears. You are happy to come home from the Unis.
160. You loved everyone and sang songs. There is hope and support in the family. The world turned black. The light has dimmed and our grief is inconsolable.
161. Death chose you without asking us. How to live on and will you have enough strength? Our fell and husband, you were loved by us. We remember you and mourn in grief.
162. We will remember You forever, for having been to all those of our hearts. For Your wisdom, kindness. For efficiency in office. For sincere smart tips. For the warmth that I could give. May God open heaven for you.
163. You passed away too soon. Our pain cannot be expressed in words. Sleep dear, you are our pain and wound. The memory of you is always alive.
164. Oh, if Mommy was alive. We would give anything we ask. Words... Words... Words... Words... We all say them after death.
165. You lived and loved life. You would live and flourish. But insidious death struck. Nobody could save you.
166. Like a heartache, like a crying soul. Nav_scho is a good day for you.
167. I'm choking on tears... You're in my memories zі skrіz. How hard it is to bear grief. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry. Who could not save you.
168. The pain of loss cannot be overcome by tears, and there is no sorrow for the end. Our dear, you are with us. In our minds, our hearts.
169. Sleep peacefully, our little one, in a dark hut, in the distance. Hai sadness and our tears do not disturb your dreams.
170. Depriving everyone, happy days and dreams. Life has given you so few years. First deputy of youth, kokhannya and hope, Gave a gift of this granite.
When heavy news of loss comes to a family or circle of close people, relatives, friends, colleagues, one should remember the need for support and delicacy. It is very bitter to lose your loved ones, but it is necessary to find the strength in yourself to find words, express your sympathy and condolences in connection with the death of a loved one.
How is it right to offer condolences, talk about how the deceased was loved, what kind of human qualities especially appreciated and respected for what?
Funeral speech
Parting words at the funeral should be concise and logically built. No matter how hard they are to pronounce, they should not be unprepared, indistinct, excessively confused. This may be perceived as disrespectful to the deceased. That's why over the words that will sound during the funeral and farewell, you should think in advance, highlight the main theses in it, draw up a diagram of a mourning speech. Its main parts and examples are given below:
The main parts of the mourning speech
- Address to the funeral guests
“Dear relatives and friends (name of the deceased)…”, “Dear guests!”, “Beloved and relatives…”. - Representing oneself, indicating the degree of relationship with the deceased.
"My name is ( given name), (name of the deceased) and I were colleagues (friends, etc.) for ... years", "We were neighbors with ...", "Dad was ...". - recollection of tragic event and short story about their own experiences, about their pain.
“Yesterday we met with him…”, “40 days have already passed since…”, “He hasn’t been with us for a year…”. - characteristics of the deceased.
“He always smiled…”, “He fought to the end for life…”, “He taught me…”. - Condolences or conventional memorial words.
“Sincerely condolences ...”, “Let the earth rest in peace”, “Eternal memory”, “Rest in peace”.
Remembering a deceased person, at a funeral, you should not retell his biography. You can say a few words about any significant episode of life, interesting fact that reflect the dignity of the deceased. It is worth focusing the attention of the people gathered at the funeral on the quality that is highly valued. O negative traits, sins, weaknesses, about an ambiguous attitude towards the deceased, it is better to remain silent, following the Russian proverb “About the deceased, it’s either good, or nothing.”
Words of sorrow must come from the heart. Here is an example of a mourning speech delivered by the adopted daughter of Alexander Abdulov, Ksenia Alferova:
“How grateful I am to God, to fate, that you were in my life. You are not my own dad - I really never felt that. When I found out about this, I was terribly upset. I thought it was some kind of injustice - he should have native child and by the end of his life, he, or rather, she appeared! At first I was delighted, and then I was afraid that you would no longer need me. I now realized that this is stupid, I realized that you needed me no less than you needed me ... It’s a pity that you understand such things too late.
Examples of a brief verbal condolence
When choosing words of grief intended for well-known relatives of the deceased, it is worth considering a deeply personal sympathetic phrase. Words must be sincere and delicate. In moments of bitter loss, at funerals, the sense of falsehood is exacerbated.
Choice of words and format verbal condolences depends on the circumstances. If on going narrow circle relatives and friends of the deceased, speech can be especially heartfelt, personal.
If you hold a person in last way going a large number of people, then more appropriate short expressions condolences, because the words of sympathy and sorrow should have time to utter all those gathered.
Here are examples of such words:
- We all hurt, but you are the hardest of all. If I can help you, please contact me right away.
- Brace yourself. We mourn with you.
- I sincerely sympathize with your loss.
- Our family is very supportive of you. With the departure of (name of the deceased), we lost a piece of ourselves.
- (Name of the deceased) was like this wonderful person, we always took an example from him. He will forever remain in our hearts.
- What a loss! I pray for (name of the deceased).
- (Name of the deceased) did so much for me, I will never forget him. Sincere condolences to you.
memorial speech
To commemorate the deceased, it is customary to gather a circle of relatives and people close to him on, and through. The words heard at the wake are traditionally imbued with warmth and light sadness. They talk at the wake about the deceased person, remember various stories and cases from life.
- Memorial speeches, like funeral speeches at the funeral, are drawn up according to the classical plan. At the same time, one should not forget about the need to declare a minute of silence in memory of the deceased. The role of the manager, who announces it, and also gives the floor to the audience in turn, as a rule, is assumed by a person close to the family of the deceased.
- The words memorial speech according to tradition, the closest people to the deceased person - parents, spouses, children, brothers and sisters, and then friends and colleagues. The steward should always have a few appropriate prepared phrases in case the performance of any of the guests is interrupted by crying.
- Memorial words are always pronounced standing up. Them the main task- to resurrect in the memory of the audience the bright memories of the deceased.
Here is an example of the words of a memorial speech on behalf of children remembering their father:
“Father has always been a great example not only for all of us, but also for many people around him. From him we learned to see and distinguish the true life values to give kindness to others. Many people who knew him admired him bright soul. We think that father left us too soon. Eternal memory to him!
Poems and toasts
At a funeral, poetry is categorically inappropriate, while at a wake - on days 9 or 40, a year after death, poetry can sound more sincere and penetrating than ever. Poems in these cases are permissible, but carefully and in moderation, and it is better if they are of their own composition.
Funerals are said at the table. They should not concern exclusively the personality of the deceased. Guests pronouncing toasts can express words of sympathy and sorrow for all the dead.
Here are examples of poems and toasts:
You passed away too soon
Our pain cannot be expressed in words.
Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound,
The memory of you is always alive.
Without you my soul is anxious
You don't need girlfriends and friends.
Why is it possible without millions?
Why can't you do without one?
“Friends, today is a day of mourning. There was a time when we had fun and rejoiced with the departed (her) from us. But today we drink this cup of sorrow, seeing off a person close to us on the last journey. But we will keep in our hearts a good memory of our friend, having hope for new meeting in a new place. Let's drink to the bottom of this!"
Perhaps one of your friends or acquaintances has lost a loved one. Most likely, you want to support this person, but it is often difficult to find the right words in such a situation. First, express your sincere condolences. Then provide the necessary emotional support. Listen to the grieving person. It is also important to provide practical assistance. For example, you can help with cooking or cleaning.
Steps
Establish contact with the person
- A person who has lost a loved one can very acutely perceive the attention of others, even after the funeral. So if you want to offer help, approach your friend or acquaintance when they are alone.
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Express your sincere condolences. When you learn that a loved one of your friend or acquaintance has died, try to contact him as soon as possible. You can send a letter to e-mail. However, it will be better if you call or meet with the person who has lost a loved one in person. You don't have to talk too much during such a meeting. Say, "I'm sorry, sorry." After that, you can say a few kind words about the deceased. Also promise that you will visit the person again soon.
Mention that you are ready to help the person. At your next meeting, you will be able to fulfill your promise by needed help. Be specific about what you can do for the grieving person. Thanks to this, he will know what you are ready to do for him, and it will be easier for you to keep your word. Tell us what kind of help you are willing to provide and how much time you will need.
- For example, if you're short on time, suggest that the grieving person take flowers from the funeral to the hospital or donate them to a charity.
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Accept rejection with understanding. If you offer help and the grieving person turns you down, then listen to their wishes and leave your offer of help until the next meeting. Either way, don't take it personally. Because a grieving person may be offered help by many, it can be difficult for them to make the right decision.
- You can say, "I know you're having a hard time making decisions right now. Let's talk about that next week."
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Avoid sensitive topics. During the conversation, be very careful about mentioning something funny. If you don't know the person very well, avoid jokes altogether. In addition, the causes of death should not be discussed. Otherwise, the person will treat you like a gossip instead of a sincere and sympathetic person.
Invite a friend to visit a bereaved help group. If you see that he is having a hard time coping with his feelings, offer to enlist the support of people who can help him with this. Find out if there is a bereaved support group in your area. You can do your research using the internet. Invite a friend to attend meetings with them.
- Be very careful when asking a friend to use a support group. For example, you could say, "Recently I learned that there are special groups people who gather to talk about their beloved deceased loved ones. I don't know if you would like to take part in such meetings. If you want to go, I'm ready to do it with you."
Choose the right time to talk. Before moving on to communicate with a grieving person, make sure that he is ready for this. A person who has lost a loved one can be very upset. Besides, it might be busy. So ask him if he can make time for you. If possible, talk to the grieving person in private.
Offer practical help
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Offer a friend or acquaintance your help in providing necessary information other people. Most likely, a person who has lost a loved one will be very depressed because of what happened, so it will be difficult for him to provide the necessary information related to the death of a loved one. Take on this responsibility if necessary. Be ready to help the grieving person in any way.
- In addition, you can help collect Required documents. For example, you can help with obtaining a death certificate. Such documents are required in order to close the accounts of the deceased.
- If the deceased person was famous, then, most likely, many people will call his relatives. Take responsibility for answering calls.
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Help with funeral arrangements. Funerals usually involve many tasks. For example, you can discuss funeral arrangements with the family of the deceased. Such questions may relate to finances and the last wishes of the deceased person. In addition, you can take on the responsibility of writing and publishing an obituary. You can also write Thanksgiving letters, if it is needed.
Find out if financial assistance is needed. If the deceased did not leave behind material resources, find out how you can help. You may need to use special resources to raise money for the funeral.
- If you don't know the person who has lost a loved one, send them a card with condolences.
Warnings
- If you notice that the person who has lost a loved one is very depressed, suggest that they seek professional help.
