Soft character a girl often seems to her not entirely appropriate in modern society. But how do psychologists regard this feature, and what to do and what to do if you have a mild character?

Many girls dream of being strong and volitional character, not realizing that a gentle character is a treasure in their hands. The most important thing is to be able to properly use this advantage!

If a girl has a soft character, is it good or bad? Many people ask this question, which can be discussed from several points of view. And what people mean by a soft character is also purely individual.

But still, no matter how it seems to anyone, but from the point of view of psychology, a soft character has more positive aspects than negative ones. That is why you can start with the latter. It should be noted that these descriptions do not characterize absolutely all girls with a soft character.

"Soft" girls are very vulnerable, they often cannot stand up for themselves. Based on this, getting into not very favorable environment they can become victims permanent discontent and nit-picking from others, superiors, etc. In addition, feeling that he is the object of insults, a mild person can become hardened and lose any idea of ​​​​the goodness of the world around him.

"Soft" girls may fall under the influence of representatives of a stronger character. This factor has both negative and positive aspects. After all, if friendship is struck up with a purposeful strong girl who will help her friend to believe in herself and become more relaxed, this is very good. But if a friend herself goes in the wrong direction, and pulls a soft person along with her, this is bad.

It is much more difficult for a modest soft girl to achieve heights where a sharp tongue is mainly needed. Highly a prime example co student life. Someone sits at night writing notebooks, and then, because of his own timidity, cannot answer in pairs, while someone did not write anything, but having spied on the appropriate word, he managed to raise his hand in time. This can be painful and insulting, but still, the one who peeped will never know as much as the one who sat and worked.

Although, a soft girl does not always mean shy or weak-willed. Sometimes softness of character testifies to meekness, wisdom and philanthropy. These three main character traits are very lacking for many strong and purposeful girls.

Constant talk about the equality of men and women to some extent deprived all girls of the concept of their original purpose. The softness of character is considered by many as a weakness, an inability to appreciate oneself, but this is not at all the case. Perhaps strong-willed girls can achieve a lot in work, build a career and earn money. But is everything so smooth when we are talking about their personal lives?

Most often, in this, it would seem, the most important area for self-confident girls, everything does not go quite the way we would like. At the same time, soft girls most often do not have problems in marriage. And this is a huge plus of their character.

A strong girl who is able to achieve everything herself, to some extent intimidates a man. She is confident and can take care of herself. Most often, she wants to exalt herself over a man, to show her strength and his weakness. And so begins the active struggle for leadership. If the woman wins, the man gives up. But, he feels the loss of his natural destiny - to be in charge. Along with this, he gradually loses the meaning of life. It cannot be overlooked that very often strong women who truly lead the family, husbands simply become an inveterate drunkard or leave.

There is another type of scenario, when a girl, trying to realize herself and feel her independence, remains forever an old maid. There is nothing wrong with the very desire to be independent, but sometimes a woman completely forgets about her original purpose.

What is the advantage of a girl with a soft character? If the soft character of a girl lies in her meekness, wisdom and philanthropy, she is a real treasure for her husband, friends and relatives. A wife with a gentle character will never show her headship in the family. She will support and love her husband, asking his opinion and listening to his wishes. In turn, for the meek and loving wife the husband will never spare neither time nor attention. Knowing that he is in charge, he himself will allow his wife to manage some affairs and will listen to her advice even in resolving the most difficult issues.

He will not see her as a competitor, but only as a person who needs to be loved and protected, who needs to be taken care of and supported. This much-needed feeling does not arise for strong girls. After all, they themselves proclaimed the slogan of their independence, announced that they could take care of themselves. But it is so difficult for a woman to be strong all her life, in an instant she wants to feel weak, and no one expects this and does not even mean it.

Therefore, the soft nature of a girl most often becomes the key to a strong family, in which the harmony of relationships is preserved for life. But it is important to consider that a soft girl must be wise. Without this quality, you can quickly get bored with a man with his mild character, seem uninteresting and monotonous. Here you can offer several rules that a “soft” girl should not forget about.

Always take care of yourself;

Don't be boring;

Be ready to change with your loved one;

Do not lose your mystery;

Be able to support and caress her husband.

A girl with a gentle nature can also be a great friend. Such girls do not strive for rivalry. They know how to make friends, are able to support a friend, help in any situation. Most often, soft girls choose stronger friends for themselves. They rarely compete, although they are often much smarter than those with whom they are friends. They do not push their knowledge outward, they know how to analyze. Girls with a soft character are not so emotional, so they rarely come into conflict.

If you are lucky to be friends with such a girl, you need to cherish this friendship. Often strong tough people they do not notice how sometimes with their words and deeds they imperceptibly hurt soft people. Perhaps vulnerability can also be attributed to the shortcomings of soft girls. Very often a careless word towards a soft person can lead to his isolation or Moreover, cause phobias.

Therefore, when meeting a character that is too soft, you need to take into account all the features so as not to offend a person. In turn, soft girls can be advised to take less personally. It happens that having heard a joke addressed to him among friends, a gentle person thinks that everyone remembered this mockery and will be glad to humiliate him next time. But, such a thought may arise precisely by virtue of character. It is worth taking a closer look, maybe relaxed people themselves laugh at each other in this way, simply not paying attention to this trifle.

That is, you should not dwell on such situations and eat yourself from the inside with thoughts about your own inferiority. The main thing to understand is that a soft character is a virtue, not a disadvantage.

Having a soft character, one should strive to ensure that softness is combined with wisdom, meekness and love for people. Don't get mad at people for their toughness, don't envy people for their ability to get ahead. Everyone is given their own, and a gentle character is one of the best things you can get. Having a gentle character, and not having envy, deceit, rancor, one can become truly happy man, to have a wonderful family, true friends and grateful people around.

If you have a soft character - this is not a reason to be upset! Tireless work on oneself, love and understanding for people, these are the main guidelines that will lead to the realization of oneself in the family, at work, among friends and relatives.

And I saw what kind of guys grew out of such boys - they are either sissies who are not able to take responsibility for themselves, or dorks who do not put representatives of fair half humanity. The same soft character is found in those whose families were dominated by a woman (as in my case), and I do not hide the fact that I have such a character, and I am proud that I have such parents who gave me very much in this life. much.

But the thing is different, finding your soul mate in this case is not easy. Few people like romance, now a priority. And many have to hide behind masks in order not to stay in, build themselves, so to speak, a superhero, naturally not being one in reality.

You know, this stereotype that a person with a gentle character is not capable of anything is very annoying. There is no need to equate everyone to a single whole, all people are different and each has its own advantages and disadvantages. For example, if a person does not enter into a fight at the first opportunity, this does not mean that he is weak and cannot stand up for himself and his girlfriend, as many people think in our time. I can give myself as an example, in my life I fought only twice, and then, because it was impossible to do otherwise, since all weighty arguments were exhausted.

In fact, guys with such a character have at least one significant plus - they will become excellent fathers, as they can easily find mutual language with children, and they will always love and appreciate their chosen one, so you can hardly expect meanness or betrayal from them.

P.S. Haven't posted in a while foreign music so today is the post song Ramzi ft. Ash King, and a video for the song.

Of course, strong! They are like two different pluses: a plus and a minus. Two absolutely not similar friend on another person.

What distinguishes a person from strong character from a person who has a soft character?

First of all, it is decisiveness and confidence in their actions. If a person with a strong character decides something for himself, he does it. He, unlike a “soft” person, will not hesitate for a long time in his decision. A "solid" person is firmly convinced of what he is doing. For example, if this person decides to quit his job, he will write a statement and leave, and will not doubt whether he is doing it right or not. And a “soft” person can not only hesitate in decisions, but, in the end, change his mind about quitting his job altogether.

Secondly, it is courage. A "solid" person is bold and courageous, he "jumps into the abyss" and learns the unknown, the character of such a person is almost fearless. For example, if a young man decides to marry, even if his parents did not approve of his choice, he will do it anyway. Even if he understands that it will be very difficult, he will have to do everything himself, without the help of others: look for housing and new job with a salary that is enough for everything. He knows that his parents will not help him. What is ahead is just an abyss and uncertainty, strong difficulties. But he will do it anyway. Because he was determined to do so. A “soft” person, on the other hand, can obey his parents, be afraid of difficulties and break his own destiny, depriving himself of personal happiness.

Thirdly, it is purposefulness and perseverance. If a person with a strong character sets a goal for himself, he will go towards it without leaving the chosen path. He will not be upset that everything does not work out right away and not everything does not go as smoothly as he would like. He will go step by step towards his goal. For example, if a "solid" person decided to learn foreign language, he will raise his level to perfection. He will have enough willpower to deal with the subject, prepare for classes, learn the rules and words. "Soft" will work out a couple of classes and quit. Because there will be laziness, get bored and it will all become uninteresting. So it will remain with knowledge in the amount of ten words.

As a rule, people with a strong character are leaders who enjoy respect and authority from other people. it good leaders, coaches, strategists. It will be more difficult for a "soft" person to take responsibility, because his soft character will more strive not to offend anyone, not to offend, not to criticize, and this, you see, is difficult to avoid in a leadership position. Soft people are good performers.

The downside of a strong character can be called stubbornness. Such a person is difficult to convince, even if he is wrong. He won't agree with you no matter how hard you try. A "soft" person will listen to you, understand his wrong, listen to your opinion. Also, a minus of a solid character is the immobility of its owner, which brings big problems in relationships with those around him. A "soft" person is quick-witted and friendly to people, even if you quarrel with him, he will quickly forget the insults and forgive you. A person with a soft character gets along better in society than with a person with a strong character. He is non-confrontational, friendly and easy to communicate with.

Each character is good in its own way. However, it is worth saying that most often people have a mixture of a “hard” character with a “soft” one, and depending on specific situation Every person has one or the other character. What character you show, you decide.

The soft character of a girl or young man- this is always a lot of stress, because many people tend to take advantage of it. This article will tell you how to live if a person has a too soft character.

Very often, a person with a soft character can face a number of problems. They are often used and tried to push around, getting into trouble. How can this be dealt with and is it possible in principle?

Reasons for the problem.

Most often, people who have been brought up in a similar vein have a soft character. Parents rarely shouted at such a child, they allowed him a lot. In addition, the child, as if in nature, had a need to please. Most often, future softness and spinelessness manifest themselves from childhood. The child begins to yield to the children in the yard, few people communicate with him, and if other children enter into a dialogue, they often offend the child. This can cause complexes and further problems with the child.

In fact, the soft character of a girl can be changed in childhood and adolescence. If we start this problem, then in the future it will have a much larger scale and turn out to be incredibly serious for the future person.

AT modern world it is almost impossible to do without some rigidity. That is why, from a certain age, it is necessary to educate a child's character, his personal opinion and the ability to defend it. In this case, the child is unlikely to be able to offend someone. Rather, on the contrary, he will always be able to stand up for himself in a given situation, to correctly protect his own interests.

It is wonderful if a child has an individuality since childhood, which allows him to always express his opinion. This child will have a great future. However, if it was not possible to cope with the problem in advance, you can try to overcome it after a while, already in adulthood.

Ways to solve the problem.

So, a person began to observe a strange softness and inability to resist what he really does not want. In fact, today this problem is increasingly tormenting young people. When a person himself does not know what he wants, it is very easy to lead him astray.

The first thing to do is to teach yourself to say no. Sometimes colleagues and friends rely too much on a gentle person. They can throw all the work and all the assignments on him simply because a person does not know how to refuse. In this situation, you need to practice in front of a mirror, try to imagine a colleague in front of you and try to say “no” to him. Of course, at first it is too difficult, because a person so rarely refuses someone. However, gradually, all acquaintances will understand that pushing around this person, as before, will no longer work.

Also, if you have a soft character, you need to learn how to express your opinion in public. Sometimes a soft-bodied person is used as a pawn in disputes, because he is afraid of offending someone and always takes one side or another. In such a situation, it is necessary to accustom yourself, in spite of everything, to always speak about your opinion, express it to acquaintances and friends. Soon, such resistance will have an impact, as a result of which, a person will only win.

Also, too soft a character can cause failures in personal plan. Women are often afraid to connect their lives with a man who does not have his own opinion, who is afraid to express anything to people. In the same way, men are not too fond of soft-bodied women, who for them can become simple cooks, guardians of cleanliness and comfort in the house.

In order not to doom yourself to a similar fate, it is necessary to always put yourself differently in new relationships. A man must show his character, prove that he has his own opinion and outlook on life. The girl must, of course, notice that she does not mind cooking and cleaning, but at the same time she wants to build a career. Strong personality She is capable of anything if she really wants to.

It is also wonderful if a person finds out for himself what he loves in this life, for which he is ready to work and work actively. With such an analysis own interests it will be possible to identify features personal opinion. Perhaps a person will soon realize with pleasure that his former features and complexes have disappeared forever. To resist other people's influence and everything life problems, you need to have a strong character. Of course, you can ignore these tips, retaining your character. However, such a person is unlikely to be able to achieve something in life, to overcome own complexes and whole line problems for future success.

Of course, it is very difficult to turn from a soft-bodied person into a self-confident person. However, if a person sincerely wants this, he will definitely achieve what he wants, while feeling complete satisfaction.

Gentleness as a personality trait is the ability to feel the needs of people, not be angry with anyone, to experience peace even in difficult situations.

The wanderer was walking along a narrow road in northern Spain and saw a peasant lying in a garden. “You are crushing flowers,” a passer-by remarked to him. “Not at all,” he replied. - I'm trying to gain from them tenderness and softness.

Mechanical times give birth to mechanical hearts. This was predicted by many spiritual traditions, poets wrote about it: “Someone offended the weak and laughs, someone turned out to be a coward and whines, and the nylon heart does not bubble, and the nylon heart does not hurt. No, guys, it's definitely not for us, to live without seeing or hearing anything, even if there is a heart made of nylon - we will teach him to worry. But, to put it metaphorically, "there are still women in Russian villages" who have a soft heart beating, unable to "live without seeing or hearing anything." A soft heart is responsive to people, it sincerely sympathizes with their feelings, it is alien to condemnation and accusations. Everything that is vulnerable causes a softness response - sympathy, support, approval, tenderness, caring and affection.

Gentleness makes strength more generous, subtler, kinder, and weakness helps to strengthen its inner strength, self-confidence, gives calmness in thoughts and actions. N. Shelgunov writes: “Courage usually goes along with gentleness of character, and courageous man more than others capable of generosity. To the soft man one can envy - he experienced and continues to feel the unforgettable taste of happiness that appears with selfless activity, the desire to help people, guided only by the voice of the heart.

Somehow people got stuck in the elevator in my friend's house. It was Saturday evening. The catch was that guys from the neighboring boarding school got into the habit of going to them on the ninth floor - it's warm in the entrance, you can smoke, chat with the girls. It is clear that such "guests" did not like the residents, especially those living on the ninth floor. And so, by chance, they were trapped in an elevator. Their phone, as luck would have it, sat down, they could not call the emergency service, and no one answered the emergency signal button. Frightened by the prospect of sitting in the elevator until Monday, the "hostages" of the elevator began to knock, shout, cry for help. A friend came to the elevator door and said gloatingly: “Gotcha. Wonderful. Sit for a couple of days, and on Monday morning, somewhere around seventeen hours, "the fetters will collapse, and freedom will meet you joyfully at the entrance." Freedom will be police uniform". The wife said nothing, but it was felt that she was not comfortable, and not comfortable. Meanwhile, the friend continued to scoff at the prisoners: “The neighbors and I consulted, and the thought came to us: “Why let you out on Monday? We are friendly and hospitable people. Live to your heart's content. For the sake of a good deed, we walk like. We will serve you water through a straw. We are not greedy. And food is harder. You will have to starve for a couple of weeks, but cleanse the body and lose weight. An hour later, the wife could not stand it: “I feel sorry for them. It is necessary to call for help, otherwise it will not be for them, but for me it will become ill. The friend said nothing, but it was evident that sympathy woke up in him. The wife got dressed and went to the next street to the house where the emergency service was located. When the elevator doors opened, everyone was astounded - an elegantly dressed young man with a bouquet of flowers stepped out of the elevator. He mixed up the entrances of the house. The thanks were innumerable. The friend's wife was happy. This is the taste of happiness of a soft heart.

Softness frees a person from rudeness, straightforwardness, bitterness and bitterness. Softness, both on the physical and subtle levels, is the opposite of hardness. in a soft voice, with gentle gestures, she skillfully builds relationships in the family, smoothing out conflicts and subtly bypassing " sharp corners". Gentleness obeys the laws happy life. One of them is the “law of fifteen minutes”. Every woman should know him. It is easier for a soft woman - she feels it with her heart. What does it consist of?

Most men go early in the morning to prove to society that they owe him money. External world in no hurry to fork out, so the whole day passes in tension. By evening, he is already like a surviving lemon, from which he is not able to squeeze out a drop of the most strong man in the world, except perhaps the tax inspector. A few hours before returning home, a person has a desire to swallow something and just lie down somewhere, lie down for a bit. In this state, his wife meets him. He smells pleasant smells coming from the kitchen and sees the coveted sofa. The voltage reaches its maximum mark. He went to this through all the obstacles of the day. It would seem that the goal is close, but a new obstacle arises - a beloved wife who says: “Do not rush into the reeds. Let's talk first." And off we go: “Why? How? Where? When? Why? Where? When?". A man who has been showing restraint and restraint all day, controlling his words and actions, relaxes at home, but when he sees a new obstacle in the face of his wife, he flares up and breaks into a rude cry. “Don’t yell at me,” the wife shouts, “Yell at your subordinates.” In a word, a scandal begins, the evening is ruined.

Beloved wife, without showing gentleness, turned into an irritant, into an enemy, into the last barrier before realization natural desire. The law of "fifteen minutes" says: when someone comes home from work tired and hungry, it is forbidden to talk about something. First feed and lay on something flat. AT folk tales this law is constantly voiced: give drink, feed and put to sleep, and then ask. When a person has eaten and lay down comfortably, he will gladly answer all questions. Still won't stop. Gentleness always emphasizes an attentive attitude to the needs of another person, his intentions and desires, she touches people, inspires them with her respect. Gentleness of heart is the desire for everyone to be well.

Softness understands that interpersonal relationships consist of rituals, and puts his heart into them. People often get divorced because they do not know how to behave when meeting and parting. These moments are extremely important for relationships. Softness puts in them love, tenderness, affection, sincerity, kinship, goodwill, in a word, a lot of positive feelings and emotions. Two rigidities at parting say: “Well, I drove” - “Well, drive it” - “Well, I went” - “Well, go away” - “Well, I came” - “Well, once, I’ve come, come in” . Rigidity does not make you feel your need and importance for another person. Only softness gives a person the feeling that without it the other person is not comfortable. As in a song, softness gives invisible signals: “Without you, everything became unnecessary immediately without you, from dusk to dawn without you, how I need you, my love.”

A perfect illustration of the benefits of softness serves Amelia from Vanity Fair: "The people who made up narrow circle Amelia's acquaintances were irritated by the enthusiastic reaction of representatives of the opposite sex to her. Almost all young people fell in love when they saw her, although, of course, they could not explain why this happened. She wasn't bright or witty, she wasn't very wise or particularly attractive. But wherever she appeared, she everywhere and everywhere made an impression and charmed every man as constantly as she constantly caused contempt and a feeling of skepticism in her rivals. I think that she fascinated mainly with her “weakness”, a kind of “willingness to obey” and “softness”, which hurt the men she met along the way, their desire to protect the weak.

Petr Kovalev