Soft character a girl or young man- this is always a lot of stress, because many people tend to take advantage of it. This article will tell you how to live if a person has a too soft character.
Very often, a person with a soft character can face a number of problems. They are often used and tried to push around, getting into trouble. How can this be dealt with and is it possible in principle?
Reasons for the problem.
Most often, people who have been brought up in a similar vein have a soft character. Parents rarely shouted at such a child, they allowed him a lot. In addition, the child, as if in nature, had a need to please. Most often, future softness and spinelessness manifest themselves from childhood. The child begins to yield to the children in the yard, few people communicate with him, and if other children enter into a dialogue, they often offend the child. This can cause complexes and further problems with the child.
In fact, the soft character of a girl can be changed in childhood and adolescence. If we start this problem, then in the future it will have a much larger scale and turn out to be incredibly serious for the future person.
AT modern world it is almost impossible to do without some rigidity. That is why, from a certain age, it is necessary to educate a child's character, his personal opinion and the ability to defend it. In this case, the child is unlikely to be able to offend someone. Rather, on the contrary, he will always be able to stand up for himself in a given situation, to correctly protect his own interests.
It is wonderful if a child has an individuality since childhood, which allows him to always express his opinion. This child will have a great future. However, if it was not possible to cope with the problem in advance, you can try to overcome it after a while, already in adulthood.
Ways to solve the problem.
So, a person began to observe a strange softness and inability to resist what he really does not want. In fact, today this problem is increasingly tormenting young people. When a person himself does not know what he wants, it is very easy to lead him astray.
The first thing to do is to teach yourself to say no. Sometimes colleagues and friends rely too much on a gentle person. They can throw all the work and all the assignments on him simply because a person does not know how to refuse. In this situation, you need to practice in front of a mirror, try to imagine a colleague in front of you and try to say “no” to him. Of course, at first it is too difficult, because a person so rarely refuses someone. However, gradually, all acquaintances will understand that pushing around this person, as before, will no longer work.
Also, if you have a soft character, you need to learn how to express your opinion in public. Sometimes a soft-bodied person is used as a pawn in disputes, because he is afraid of offending someone and always takes one side or another. In such a situation, it is necessary to accustom yourself, in spite of everything, to always speak about your opinion, express it to acquaintances and friends. Soon, such resistance will have an impact, as a result of which, a person will only win.
Also, too soft a character can cause failures in personal plan. Women are often afraid to connect their lives with a man who does not have his own opinion, who is afraid to express anything to people. In the same way, men are not too fond of soft-bodied women, who for them can become simple cooks, guardians of cleanliness and comfort in the house.
In order not to doom yourself to a similar fate, it is necessary to always put yourself differently in new relationships. A man must show his character, prove that he has his own opinion and outlook on life. The girl must, of course, notice that she does not mind cooking and cleaning, but at the same time she wants to build a career. Strong personality She is capable of anything if she really wants to.
It is also wonderful if a person finds out for himself what he loves in this life, for which he is ready to work and work actively. With such an analysis own interests it will be possible to identify features personal opinion. Perhaps a person will soon realize with pleasure that his former features and complexes have disappeared forever. To resist other people's influence and everything life problems, you need to have a strong character. Of course, you can ignore these tips, retaining your character. However, such a person is unlikely to be able to achieve something in life, to overcome own complexes and whole line problems for future success.
Of course, it is very difficult to turn from a soft-bodied person into a self-confident person. However, if a person sincerely wants this, he will definitely achieve what he wants, while feeling complete satisfaction.
Hello everyone who reads my request for help. I have a too soft character, and in the spring I leave for the army. And the problem is that if you run into me, then I can’t hit back or answer. Therefore, it will be very difficult for me in the army. And I wanted to ask HOW IN A YEAR TO MORALLY PREPARE FOR YOURSELF FOR THE ARMY. Now I go to melee, but I often miss it, because there are people there who have noticed my weakness and are not averse to laughing at me, teasing and mocking me. Every time I force myself to go there ... but I'm not good at it, I've already missed it for a month.
Thanks to everyone who responds!
Surikat, age: 10/18/2012
Responses:Friend, age: no age / 10/12/2012
I give advice on theory (I myself could not do this, but I think it should help). To be cruel to yourself: get up early (at 5-6 in the morning), wash in cold water, push-ups from the floor, pull up, run, sleep on hard, do not overeat, eat in certain time day according to the regime - then you can become courageous and prepare for the army.
Kostya, age: 26/12.10.2012
By skipping hand-to-hand combat, you run away from your problem. The first step to masculinity is not to run away from the problem, but to face it, no matter what happens. Think about why you cannot fight back, what attitudes prevent you from doing this. Remember that when the enemy attacked, the Church blessed people to defend the Fatherland, and you must also be able to defend your Fatherland, family and yourself. Are you afraid of pain? This fear disappears when a person has experienced pain several times. Those people who laugh at you should be grateful, because they are like a litmus test to show you what you still need to work on, they help you in your growth in their own way. Your first victory over yourself will always go to training, despite ridicule. Also, such a situation will help you develop humility - a virtue that conquers pride. After all, you still need to come to terms with the fact that you are afraid that you are being bullied. I also recommend that you address this issue to men. middle age, as well as to those who served in the army - they went through everything "on their own skin" and can give useful advice. Good luck!
Tatyana Zhadan, age: 32 / 10/14/2012
I also have a soft character, but I would call it not just soft, but kind - for me this is important
addition (this is me so that you also more clearly represent your character, and not just pejoratively
"soft"). Violence against people is not very organic for me: I do not accept this against others and myself
respectively.
At first, I scolded myself a lot for these "weaknesses", internally tormented me, as it were, and of course I wanted it
to correct. As a result, I started playing sports, including hand-to-hand combat - this is an excellent school.
It gave me a lot. After several years of study, he became a different person. Sports helped me develop
will, patience, inner strength. After realizing the emerging power, I had a great desire
apply it where necessary and where it is not necessary, then I realized that this was wrong and that a person has everything
there is also a range in which it is comfortable for him to be and where he is not comfortable - just
because that is his nature. In general, I take this whole philosophy to the following:
1. You don’t need to scold yourself for your soft character - everyone has his own and you can make yourself scolding yourself
only worse. You need to understand yourself, and understanding comes only with experience and its calm reflection.
There is no need to rush this process and no need to slow down. Similarly, with other people they need to learn
understand, perhaps sometimes it will allow to predict their actions.
2. There is no need to set super-tasks and, moreover, to have beyond expectations in this area. While little experience
and understanding yourself, it is better to have very simple and clear goals. In practice, this means the following:
if the fear of conflicts, pain, pressure is high, and the ability to defend one's position in the psychological and
physical senses is not enough, then you need to clearly outline a VITAL MINIMUM, based on a COMMON
MEANING, and strive for it. Understand exactly where your difficulties are and consciously overcome it
in small portions - learn it.
I would divide the preparation for the army into the following tasks:
1. Psychological
2. Physical
And they, in turn, have strategic aspects (long-term) and tactical (short-term)
Each has its own approach
I think that of course in your case you need to deal with physical development- it's just a must
this is a base that will definitely come in handy in the army. So, if you are physically weak, then you need this
change. Moreover, it seems to me that a melee suit is better than just a rocking chair (but this is ONLY MY
OPINION). Personally, I was very hardened by long exhausting endurance training. Though see for yourself
- it is important that sports are ORGANIC FOR YOU, for physiology (maybe you like to pull
iron and you can make a breakthrough in physics there), otherwise you can make things worse. And overcoming fear
the pain is there. In general, you need to think carefully about physics and the program for its development.
This also includes the combat technique - it would be nice to master the minimum skills. AT this case- this is
two three hits to automatism and good speed and strength, perhaps plus minimal skills
struggle - just to feel your body. For 1 year it is probably possible to do this, but only if
SPECIALLY do this (you need to read about it separately), that is, there are no kata from karate and
turntables with legs. Only real practices. In a tactical sense, you need to learn how to do push-ups, run,
pull up, strengthen the muscles, so as not to crumble on the cross. In a strategic need
to form a culture of sports or physics, to develop their own reasonable
attitude, taste. Find what gives you strength. To do this, you need to study yourself, others,
additional literature, purchase new experience- a year is not enough, but now there is an opportunity to put
this is the beginning. Why I am talking about this is because character is for life and now you have
an opportunity (just think about it) to lay the foundation for the positive development of your personality on
for the rest of your life. Therefore, strategy is important - this is your future. This is the future solution of questions in
health, self-confidence.
The next point is psychology. Here, too, in principle, fixable, but if it is reasonable to learn this
(it won't come right away - don't have any illusions). Firstly, overcoming oneself in training, the daily routine tempers
already on its own. Next, you still need to find your current reaction to various life situations,
realize her. What exactly is the most scary? Fear of a fight, direct pressure in a conflict is partially possible
overcome sparring. The ability to communicate and defend one's position in a team is just what you need
learn in complex teams where there is friction, at least by observing the reactions of others. If a
talk about applied options for getting out of the conflict (for example, psychological pressure during conversation
or a conflict with several people, jokes, and so on), the following information may help
from my experience:
When I understand that the conflict is taking place at a level that is difficult for me to react to (i.e.,
the opponent is very tough, strong or smart or dangerous or there are several of them, or I am sick, depressed,
incompetent in the question and so on - that is, I am a priori weaker), then I try to understand a certain point /
limit of dignity. And I focus only on her, that is, in my thoughts there is not even "I
I’ll show him now and how I will defeat everyone. "If you are being pressured and really threatened and you feel that you
if you can physically suppress aggression, that is, you don’t have enough skills or knowledge for this, then do that
simple, which will allow you to preserve your personality: if they press morally with a conversation, then simply and firmly
answer or do not answer at all if they laugh and tease and you are not sure that you will answer in such a way that
replay them, then don’t answer at all or answer very simply, like “fuck off and that’s it”, “no”, “don’t
I know". It is only important to do it firmly and CONFIDENTLY. Over time, you will get used to it and find new ones.
reaction options. Example:
they come up to me on the street and say something brazenly like “hey guy where are you from and so on”, I see:
there are three of them, adult guys, a little tipsy, not jerks, I can’t seem to determine their degree
training, but I don’t feel the desire to get involved in a fight, I don’t have weapons with me, I feel from them
danger, I feel that they are looking for problems for themselves or want to create it for someone. I just turn around and
I walk past them. They say something to me in the wake and speak louder and louder. I just go is all. If they
they will run after me - there is already no choice here, you need to act, the situation itself leaves no choice, but I
I avoid moments in which I do not understand how I will feel and how to behave. Gone two hundred
meters and the situation disappeared, lasted 5 - 10 seconds. Psychological stress not excessive.
Search the most simple options maintaining one's dignity, oneself in situations that are lifted for
psyche.
These are all tactics too. It is also important to know and understand them, that is, to develop, learn
more effective models behavior - not necessarily my example, maybe you will find something else,
what will help you.
Plus: of course you need to talk to knowledgeable people(only with adequate ones) - listen to them
advice and just stories, if something is unclear somewhere or raises questions, then ask - man
may be afraid of the incomprehensible and unknown. The less unknown, the less fear.
The strategy again is to constantly and slowly increase your level of psychological
readiness, or rather in general and holistic development personalities: study yourself, others and life, study
through your experience. With this approach, the army will become a good school, you will later thank it
you will remember. For example, I didn’t go to the army, although I honestly say that now I regret it,
despite the fact that all my friends tell me that supposedly they don’t teach anything in the army. For a man, by the way,
army expands and professional perspectives: FSB, Ministry of Internal Affairs, Ministry of Emergency Situations, FSO ... they pay well there now, but
It's hard to get by without an army.
Another important point: Ask God for help. Form the right worldview in this area
too. Try to find a good wise priest - he will be able to help you in many ways. Find out what
such a prayer and ask God to help you, sincerely ask. Develop in this direction.
In general, the main thing is to act in stages, reasonably, systematically. Explore yourself, your abilities, apply
forces in the chosen direction, maintain good level physical and spiritual development,
internal balance. I wish you successful service.
Everything that I wrote is just my vision and experience, perhaps not everything is correct.
I apologize if it's long and crumpled. I wanted to say a lot.
Add to favorites
Manifestations of Gentleness and what is a Soft Heart?
A soft heart, responsive to people, it sincerely empathizes with their feelings, is alien to condemnation and accusations. Everything that is vulnerable causes a softness response - sympathy, support, approval, tenderness, caring and affection.
AT folk sayings there is such - Meet and see off with a soft heart. In our memory, this evokes certain images, usually very close ones, that left such a memorable image. As a rule, these are women who have a soft heart and are always desired and loved.
The material world and technological progress give rise to ruthless mechanical hearts
Gentleness always emphasizes an attentive attitude to the needs of another person, his intentions and desires, she touches people, inspires them with her respect. Gentleness of heart is the desire for everyone to be well.
Softness makes Strength and Generosity, helps to strengthen one's inner strength and self-confidence, gives peace of mind in thoughts and actions.
Courage and Courageous deeds are very often combined with and courageous man more than others capable of generosity.
A gentle person can be envied - he experiences and feels an unforgettable taste of Happiness, which appears with selfless activity, the desire to help people, guided only by the voice of the heart.
Who are the Soft People?
Truly soft can only be people with hard and strong character. The most common form of softness in modern society- Imaginary Softness. Most often this is a different concept, it's just Weakness, which easily turns into Anger.
Gentleness frees a person from rudeness, straightforwardness, bitterness and bitterness.
Softness is very important for harmonious family union. Softness builds a subtle relationship, two Loving friend friend, both on the physical and on the subconscious level.
Softness is the opposite of hardness. Gentleness makes strength more generous, subtler, kinder, and weakness helps to strengthen one's inner strength, self-confidence, gives peace of mind in thoughts and actions.
When someone comes home from work tired and hungry, it is forbidden to talk about something. First you need to feed a person, let him rest, and then ask. THIS IS A CLASSIC OF LIFE, which we all sometimes forget about! Beloved wife, not showing gentleness with her husband, turns into an irritant and into an enemy, receives in response irritation, anger and negative emotions accumulated throughout the day.
The simple truth is, let go of irritability and negative events in the liver and kidneys for the natural utilization of these negative Hormones.
How to behave when meeting and when parting
Part and meet with the true manifestation of Gentleness. These are correct interpersonal relationships, which consist of certain rituals in which the Heart and Soul participate.
These moments are extremely important for relationships. Softness puts in them Love, Tenderness, Affection, Sincerity, Kinship, goodwill, in a word, a lot of positive feelings and emotions.
Rigidity in relationships does not make you feel all your need and importance of a person.
Only Gentleness gives a person a feeling of Need, that without it another person feels bad. The feeling of Need and the desire to give a part of yourself is the first condition for generating Happiness in a family or in society.
Gentleness is the first condition for the state of Happiness
More interesting articles- read right now:
Sort Post Type
Post Page Category
The nature and quality of the Personality Positive Properties character Like Beauty female beauty Your Strengths Thinking process Good Habits Required Knowledge self-knowledge Simple and complex concepts Recommendations A real man Core values in life Emotions Feelings Business Sources of Happiness Good and evil Negative properties character Sort Title Similar
Who is a soft man or character traits of a man.
Today I want to talk about who are soft men, weaklings pleasing everyone and putting other people's opinions above their own? Insecure people or just soft and more receptive internally, but does not mean weak at all? And if they are weak, then what is it and are there any advantages to such a man. By the way, I am also soft and I am not going to change.
To begin with, I would like to write about confident men, who are they and what do they have strong will; a high self-evaluation; are not afraid to express their opinion, but respect the opinion of others; resolute; word people having their own life principles; know what they want and how to get it; if necessary, stand up for themselves and for others.
Can a gentle man have all the qualities of a confident and strong man?
Someone will say "no", because he believes that the soft one is the one who tries to please everyone, unsure of himself; dependent; his own opinion is not so important for himself, in comparison with the opinion of others; mumbling and rag dancing to someone's tune.
If a man has a gentle nature by nature, does this mean that he is weak morally, physically, or something else? I am sure that a gentle man can easily possess the qualities of a strong, confident personality, as well as business and all other possible qualities successful person.
To state unequivocally that Soft means weak and a loser is just as wrong as Hard means strong and successful. It is not important what qualities of character prevail in us, but our self-esteem, self-respect, willpower and faith in yourself and your strengths. Who said that soft man all this cannot be, but for Tverdogo, everything is a dime a dozen .... It is not at all necessary that softness is weak character, insecurity and lack of will.
Yes, soft is not hard at all and hard. It has its pros and cons, like every person. Such features that someone would call a disadvantage, and someone would call a virtue. For example, soft and good man, by nature does not like conflicts and does not like to hurt people, whether with words or deeds. Such, for the sake of his goal, will not go over the heads of others, and I personally like such people more. In addition, such a man will better appreciate the qualities and understand what his woman feels and experiences.
Perhaps this is a kind of disadvantage in business, politics, etc., but even here there may be pluses - he will treat his subordinates better, and they, in turn, will be more devoted to him. Among both soft and hard men there are enough real successful people.
Yes, perhaps sometimes we lack decisiveness and firmness at certain moments when toughness is required. We may, because of our softness, not go or do what would be best, it all depends on each of us. If a person sees some such shortcomings in himself and works on them, then nothing is impossible.
What would you like to wish and maybe somewhere to advise soft, strong men - to remain yourself, as you are - this is your dignity and not only as a person, but also as a man for so many women. And the advice is that in a situation where your decisiveness is required of you, you need to show this decisiveness more, because your success or failure may depend on it. And it may be necessary, somewhere to give up such as- do not harm a person with words and deeds. Here you need to remember:
First, you can’t please everyone, especially if you have big plans. And secondly, there are situations when pity and gentleness towards a person can only harm to him. You do not tell him the truth, even if it is rude and unpleasant, and he will remain in his own way, will be inactive. So sometimes, if necessary, you need to overpower yourself and do what you think is right, let it be rude, but it can push a person to action. Gentleness and pity are not always justified.
Gradually, such actions of yours, even if you are very gentle, will become more familiar to you. You just need to remember and remain people and yourself, because 
rigidity is just a necessity, not a goal.
Well, and an impudent bastard, if he does nasty things, you need to answer with what he deserves. However, I am sure that even soft, but strong, normal men do this. Namely, give in the face.
As for women, you can't please them. Some women are fine with being treated rough and they love it. Others will prefer soft and affectionate, so every man needs to find only the one my woman.
By the way, this article prompted me to write one so soft but I'm sure strong and goal-oriented person. His name is Evgeniy under a nickname Sema. I accidentally met him - they argued because of one comment. He also has his own blog and I followed the link to it. It turned out that he was the same age as me, more precisely, a year older than me.
Eugene, without fear, writes the whole truth about himself, what kind of person he is, what he does and what he did and does in life. It turned out that he had a lot of problems. Big debts, broke up with the girl, at some point there were problems in business. Now he has a different one, but there is not much support from her.
The man did not fold his hands after everything, he does everything himself, quietly achieves his goal and does not lose faith in success. I'm sure he will succeed. In addition, he writes very interestingly, you can see for yourself. By the way, if you want to know can a man be a bitch and how is it? and a bunch of other interesting things, then you are here semas-blog.ru
Well, separately about Sensitive men,- yes, it's not the best suitable quality for men and most women, they are not attractive. But again, sensitivity is given to each person by nature. Some more, some less. But what is natural is not ugly and does not mean bad. Let's remember famous artists, designers and many others - without them, life would be more boring. They are individuals and play a role in life.
In addition, this sensitive, if he is strong-willed enough and confident man, at great desire, can correct this trait of his character. In life, this was not enough. And a lot of wars, proof of that. When hard and so self-confident became cowardly hares, and soft and weak in appearance, they performed real feats. And for such men, too, there are women.
Well, for those who would like to know more about, first of all, for themselves and in relation to women, click on this link.
And I saw what kind of guys grew out of such boys - they are either sissies who are not able to take responsibility for themselves, or dorks who do not put representatives of fair half humanity. The same soft character is found in those whose families were the main woman (as in my case), and I do not hide the fact that I have such a character, and I am proud that I have such parents who gave me very much in this life much.
But the thing is different, finding your soul mate in this case is not easy. Few people like romance, now a priority. And many have to hide behind masks in order not to stay in, build themselves, so to speak, a superhero, naturally not being one in reality.
You know, this stereotype that a person with a gentle character is not capable of anything is very annoying. There is no need to equate everyone to a single whole, all people are different and each has its own advantages and disadvantages. For example, if a person does not enter into a fight at the first opportunity, this does not mean that he is weak and cannot stand up for himself and his girlfriend, as many people think in our time. I can give myself as an example, in my life I fought only twice, and then, because it was impossible to do otherwise, since all weighty arguments were exhausted.
In fact, guys with such a character have at least one significant plus - they will become excellent fathers, as they can easily find mutual language with children, and they will always love and appreciate their chosen one, so you can hardly expect meanness or betrayal from them.
P.S. Haven't posted in a while foreign music so today is the post song Ramzi ft. Ash King, and a video for the song.
