Who do we trust the most in the world? Even the most insecure person will say - to himself. In search of answers to important questions, each of us turns inward. On some issues, we may have an unambiguous opinion, on others, we may not have an unambiguously clear position and consider the issue with different points vision, trying to determine the right one for yourself. When we enter into a dialogue with another person, we are talking not only with him, but also with his inner world. Just as fundamentally unambiguous or not fully formed in relation to some issues, like ours.

Usually we feel the need to express our opinion when we disagree with the interlocutor on points of view. But situations are different. We can remain silent when we do not consider it necessary to say what we think, we can say our opinion in an even and calm tone, or we can begin to defend our point of view. How to proceed in each specific situation we decide ourselves. And appreciate decision already after.

We can say something and then start to reproach ourselves - well, why did I say this, it would be worth keeping silent. Or vice versa, keep silent and reproach yourself for the fact that the opinion was not expressed in a timely manner. This happens when we focus on ourselves, our thoughts and emotions. While entering into a dialogue with another person, it is necessary to accept and build communication from the position of the interlocutor. This is what all smart communicators do, who know that it is impossible to prove their opinion, even with the most compelling arguments, as it always gives rise to internal contradiction at the interlocutor. You can only convey your position - serve it on a platter so that the interlocutor cannot deny himself the pleasure of treating himself.

What is important to understand before you start expressing your opinion?

1. Not every situation requires that an opinion be expressed and not every opinion must be expressed a priori.

Our opinion may seem very important to us, but it is no less important to really look at the feelings and thoughts of other people. If you want to say close person his categorical opinion about what may concern him directly - think about it. In relationships with loved ones, it is especially important to be correct, because. no one will offend in the way that a loved one can do, for whom all our feelings can be like open book. Is your opinion worth it to hurt a loved one? Or, if you think that an opinion should be heard anyway, consider how you will express it in advance.

2. Not everyone wants to hear an opinion other than their own.

Probably, you often noticed that even when communicating with other people, the interlocutor can only have a dialogue with himself. Such people are not only unwilling to accept a point of view different from their own, but in principle they are not interested in it. Their goal is not a full-fledged dialogue, but the exchange of their opinions, news, etc. Sometimes it's easier to listen and not say, or maybe not listen at all.

3. Our inner need in expressing one's own opinion comes from our Self or does the situation really require it?

Many people tend to express their loud opinions on rather distant or even trifling topics. While under really important circumstances, they are not ready to express their position and prefer to remain silent. In fact, everything should be the other way around. It is not always worth expressing an opinion just to express it. Thus, we satisfy our need for self-affirmation or reinforce our pride. Real courage is to speak up where circumstances require it, even if we ourselves are not inclined to speak out.

4. When expressing our opinion, we must always be ready for a possible continuation of the dialogue, even if it does not follow.

When we express our opinion, we do not just throw it in the face of the interlocutor. We express it and must be ready for a response statement, i.e. continuation of the topic. If you are not ready for this, consider whether it is important for you to speak out in this particular situation. Because it is important not so much to adequately express your position, but to continue the dialogue after that.

Even if the interlocutor's opinion differs from our own, this does not mean that we must take a defensive position. This applies primarily to issues that are not fundamental, do not contradict our personal deep principles or beliefs. When exchanging opinions with well-known, close people, it is important to remember that human relations always stand above our particular opinion on this moment Moreover, it is possible that opinions may change. It is important to always remember this, otherwise, one rude opinion can cost close, trusting relationships.

Sometimes we have a dialogue with people who are unpleasant to us, whose position may fundamentally contradict ours. In such situations, it is difficult to contain your emotions due to differences of opinion and personal animosity. In such cases, it is very important to abstract from the interlocutor himself and try to express his opinion as impersonally as possible regarding specific subject or situations. We have already said that power over one's own gives a great advantage in communications with other people.

It is important to remember that no one can hurt our feelings with their opinion. Moreover, this cannot be done by a person who is not close to us or who is generally unpleasant to us in communication. The one who follows the lead of his emotions will certainly lose in any fight.

The ability to express one's opinion in a correct and clear manner is an undeniable gift. But this can only be learned through practice. Therefore, do not be discouraged if something, as you think, did not go perfectly. We should never be ashamed of what teaches us something new and important. Be open to dialogue, this is the most obvious sign true power and self-confidence.

The world is full various people, each of which is an individuality, personality. allow us have own opinion sometimes even different from the opinions of the majority.

Good or bad: have your own opinion in a team, society, family, social group? Let's start from the opposite.

Often there are situations in life when someone else's opinion is imposed on us. A person who does not have his own opinion will meekly put up with such a situation; people who are afraid to express their opinion will perhaps be indignant in their hearts, but will not object to anything out loud.

And only those who are accustomed have own opinion and to express it in a timely manner, will not follow the lead of someone else's opinion if it contradicts his personal interests.

This is good example the benefits of your own opinion. It is necessary to defend personal interests, but it can also bring collective benefits.

So, in business, more than one person is often involved, each of which is the bearer of a personal opinion. can be made, for example, a proposal to act according to a plan similar to the actions of competitors.

But you have a different opinion on this matter. You think that it would be much more profitable to do otherwise. If you give your opinion, you bring common cause undeniable benefit. Well, if you keep silent, then you will silently watch how your business is moving along the wrong path.

Even if you do not belong to the leading persons in the enterprise, your personal opinion can benefit the entire firm. Leaders are people too, which means they can make mistakes.

If you find a clear error in the calculations or plans of the management, which may adversely affect the functioning of the company, then it is better to express your opinion in a delicate form to the authorities. If you are afraid to do this directly with the boss, then you can contact his deputies or assistants.

Often it is necessary not only to express one's own opinion, but also to defend it, because there will always be those who want to refute it, recognize it as unviable.

For such a confrontation, you will need the ability to argue, correctly, logically and consistently bring reasonable, objective arguments for your rightness.

It should not be based on emotions, and here you should not rely on possible, conjectural constructions: “It seems to me”, “Probably”, “Maybe”, “Most likely”.

Your opinion should have a main, clearly formulated thesis (main idea), and you should always have weighty arguments ready to support the thesis.

Imagine that you are running a political election campaign and telling the audience about the benefits of living in a state with your direct political participation.

Express your opinion in such a way that it becomes understandable, accessible to all opponents, and most importantly - so that its performance, functionality, and practical significance are reliably understood.

But my own opinion has back side. If your opinion turns out to be wrong in the end, and it is pointed out to you, then be honest with yourself and others and admit your own mistakes.

There is absolutely nothing shameful about this. Wise is not the one who shouts at every corner that he is the smartest, but who is reasonable in everything, including in recognizing the wrongness of his actions, deeds, opinions.

Today have your own opinion it is necessary for everyone, whether it be a businessman, a politician or just a student, a housewife.

People who follow the public stamps, stereotypes, fashion lose their true appearance, individuality, merging into numerous masses of the same type of crowd. . This makes our world beautiful in its diversity.

Every person has their own opinion. It has the right to exist, but this does not mean that each of them is true. It's a shame to make a mistake, acting in accordance with other people's advice, neglecting your own point of view.

Interpretation of the law

Everyone knows folk wisdom: "how many people, so many opinions." However, often many do not trust their opinion so much that they live in someone else’s mind for almost their entire lives, and when at the end of their lives they realize that they have not achieved anything, they begin to blame anyone but themselves for their mistakes. Of course, it is necessary to listen and respect the opinions of other people, but you cannot blindly follow all their advice.

Probably no one can say that he is always 100% right, so why trust anyone to solve your problems, because no one can handle them better than himself person concerned. Following someone else's opinion, a person, as it were, is relieved of responsibility, shifting it onto the shoulders of a voluntary assistant; in this case, if the case fails, you can always shift the blame on someone else and justify yourself both in the eyes of others and in your own, although, of course, this will not help much.

Many people are so unsure own forces who actually voluntarily give up success, afraid to take risks and finally do their own thing. Most of the representatives of the huge army of losers got into it precisely because they could not defend their point of view and act according to their own understanding. Excessively trusting someone, a person thereby deprives himself of the opportunity to develop. Relying completely on the knowledge and skills of another, he believes that he does not need to understand any issue himself. And it's far from in the best way affects the success of his business. Except for small things, every entrepreneur or career aspirant needs to be very good at what they do, be it accounting estimates or errands. Only in this way can success be achieved.

It is better to make a mistake of your own ignorance and subsequently learn some lessons from it than, assuming the right decision, rely on someone else's advice and eventually lose everything. Of course, and in last case a person is able to extract something useful for himself from what is happening, but the realization that if he immediately acted according to his point of view, this would lead to completely opposite results and that success was very close, but slipped into the very last moment, can permanently unsettle even the most strong man. Therefore, before asking for advice, and even more so following it, you need to think about the fact that your experience means something and, perhaps, your opinion is the most correct decision in this situation.

People who easily succumb to other people's influence have a very difficult time in life. They constantly experience all sorts of doubts, which, naturally, greatly prevents them from living and enjoying life. Success comes only to self-confident people who are able to deal with their problems on their own and never blame outsiders for their own mistakes.

Image

Granite rock. She is not afraid of any natural disasters and minor annoyances in the form of precipitation. She majestically and imperturbably stands her ground. Nothing can shake it: the waves hit it for centuries, but it still remains impregnable.

proof of law

Very often, representatives of the authorities have all sorts of problems related to relationships between people. It is very important in this case to adhere to a single point of view and never deviate from your opinion. American President Taft learned from his own experience how important this is; Moreover, he found best way out from the situation, showing sympathy to neutralize negative feelings surrounding.

It all started with the fact that one lady, the wife of a large politician, visited the president for a long time in order to persuade him to appoint her son to high position in one of the institutions. She went so far as to bring senators and congressmen with her and force them to plead for her offspring. But Taft understood that the position so attractive to an active lady required certain professional qualities and, most importantly, great experience.

On the recommendation of the head of the institution, he appointed a completely different, more the right person. Soon the president received an unpleasant letter from this lady, who reproached him for the fact that Taft did not want to please her, although it cost him nothing. She further suspected him of ingratitude, because, in her opinion, only her pressure on the delegation ensured the adoption of the administrative bill in which the president was interested.

Of course, having received such a message, almost every person in a fit will try to put the enemy in his place, moreover, in a rougher and sharper tone. Fortunately, Taft kept his negative emotions and put off writing a reply for a few days. After some time, he wrote the most polite letter he could, in which he said that he understood the mother's feelings.

However, Taft said that he could not decide on the appointment of a person to such a responsible position, guided only by personal preferences, since this work requires special knowledge. Then the president expressed his hope that the son of this lady will be able to achieve outstanding success in his current position. The answer was not slow to appear, in which the lady sent her sincere apologies for such a harsh letter.

The story continued. Since the candidate was not immediately confirmed in the position, after some time Taft again receives a letter, supposedly from the husband of this lady, in which he reports that his wife is seriously ill as a result of nervous breakdown and asks the president to restore the woman's happiness and health by appointing her son to the desired position. It must be said that the first letters and last message were written in the same handwriting.

The President had to write another polite letter, now to her husband, expressing sympathy for the health of his wife and the hope that the diagnosis would not be confirmed. He once again politely declined the request for an appointment. young man to the position, citing the fact that he is no longer able to reject the previously nominated candidate.

Two days after the letter was sent, the White House was given holiday concert- and among those invited, these spouses joyfully greeted the president, despite the fact that the wife, judging by the letter, was dying three days ago. In the institution on new position the man who in spite of everything was approved by Taft perfectly coped with his duties. So the president was able to defend his point of view, which was the most correct decision, and at the same time did not spoil relations with others.

There are many names in world literature that have gained worldwide popularity and recognition only because their owners never changed their minds and relied only on themselves.

One boy lived in London and was forced to work in a dry goods store. His duties included cleaning the premises in the morning and working almost all day, so he had to get up at five in the morning and work until late at night. It was very hard work. The boy believed that his place was not here, and he would be able to escape from poverty and poverty. One day, two years later, he left the shop and went on foot to his mother. He decided not to return to work for anything, but to succeed in a completely different field. Subsequently, the boy became a writer, created more than seventy books and earned more than a million dollars. His name was Herbert J. Wells.

Charles Dickens did not immediately become famous writer, although he worked hard and aspired to this since childhood. The boy was able to attend school for no more than four years, then his father went to prison for non-payment of debts, and the child remained practically on the street. Soon he took a job in a warehouse, where his duties included sticking labels on bottles of wax. He shared a lodging with two tramp boys from the London slums.

All the stories of the young Dickens were constantly rejected by the editors, in which he was inspired that he would never become a good writer. However, the boy had a completely different opinion and still sent his manuscripts to publishers. The happy day finally arrived, and one of Dickens' stories was accepted. Despite the fact that he was not paid, this encouraged the young writer to write new works. After some time, this man became famous.

It is very important, having your own opinion, not to expose it excessively, otherwise it may not have the best effect on the professional field. Typical example is a successful businessman who sells office equipment. And although he is 100% sure that his product is the best, the businessman never persists in praising his products. He believes that such a line of behavior can lead to a useless dispute, so he simply informs his customers about the versatility, convenience and good quality equipment. A real businessman prefers to emphasize that it is not the equipment itself that is important, but the people who have to work with this equipment.

It is very important in life to define your goals as early as possible and never turn off the intended path, directing all your strength and abilities to overcome it. One famous psychologist and the philosopher noted that often people, due to the lack of their own opinion, are in a state of half-asleep all their lives, using only an insignificant part of their physical and mental resources.

Authoritative opinion

The most miserable are not those people who have an erroneous way of thinking, but those who do not have any definite, serial image thoughts whose opinions are a collection of incoherent fragments that have nothing in common with each other.

/N. G. Chernyshevsky/

Property wise man consists of three things: the first is to do for oneself what he advises others to do, the second is to never act against justice, and the third is to patiently endure the weaknesses of the people around him.

/L. N. Tolstoy/

The other side of the law

Sometimes a person is so distrustful of other people's opinions and relies only on himself that he turns into a kind of narcissistic person who despise everyone and everything. In his opinion, no one knows anything better than him. Of course, this repels others, and a person with a similar attitude can easily remain in all alone. As in any business, here you need to know a sense of proportion: you cannot completely follow other people's advice and live under the influence of any opinion; and it is undesirable to take only one's own point of view as a certain standard of wisdom and infallibility. It is necessary to learn, perceiving recommendations and learning from the mistakes of others, to trust your intuition, to be more flexible in making certain decisions.

Many zealous admirers and executors of this law complain that they have absolutely no friends - and in difficult situation they don’t even have anyone to turn to with their problem, forgetting that they themselves once did not want to accept anyone’s help, preferring to remain unconvinced. Providing us with a service in the form of advice, people thereby begin to feel their importance. If a person deprives his environment of this, he will only lose friends. It is not in vain that folk wisdom says: “Calmly listen to everyone and do as you see fit.”

Very often people are impatient towards the older generation, which, out of good intentions, is always trying to teach something to their children or warn them of danger. On the one hand, of course, many are simply tired of listening to moralizing every day and acting against their will, however, on the other hand, you can listen to the opinion of your parents. They lived long life, purchased life experience and probably learned something from their own mistakes and failures.

So isn't it easier to learn about them and not repeat the actions of the older generation, leading to disastrous results?! It is known that a person, like history, has no future if he forgets his past.

bike

A person who does not have his own opinion is like the main character of the story "42" by Daniil Kharms.

“One Frenchman was given a sofa, four chairs and an armchair.

The Frenchman sat down on a chair by the window, but he himself wants to lie down on the sofa.

The Frenchman lay down on the sofa, and he already wants to sit on an armchair.

The Frenchman got up from the sofa and sat down on an armchair like a king, and the very thoughts in his head were already such that on the armchair it was quite magnificent. Better easier on a chair.

The Frenchman moved to a chair by the window, but the Frenchman cannot sit on this chair, because somehow it blows through the window.

The Frenchman sat down on a chair near the stove and felt that he was tired.

Then the Frenchman decided to lie down on the sofa and rest, but, before reaching the sofa, he turned aside and sat down on an armchair.

- That's where it's good! - said the Frenchman, but immediately added: - And on the sofa, it’s probably better.

Everyone has an opinion on just about everything from the most mundane and unimportant topics like the best pizza toppings to really important issues politics and trends in society. It is important to correctly form your own opinion, regardless of the topic. Evaluate your experience and the experience of others, as well as the views of experts and specialists. Explore the issue in as much detail as possible to form a solid and comprehensive opinion. Keep an open mind at all times, as new information can change your views.

Steps

Consider experience

Assess your own biases. When considering a particular topic, the presence of a positive or negative own experience will certainly affect your current beliefs. In any case, it should be understood that experience does not always accurately reflect true position things for a specific question.

Get out of your comfort zone for a new experience. This is especially useful if you have no experience in a particular subject. For example, if you have a preconceived notion that members of a certain culture or the inhabitants of a certain city behave in a certain way, then visit these places to observe them with your own eyes. You may very well be surprised.

• You can start small and try a dish that seems "unappetizing" to you. Try to eat it different ways. You may find shrimp unappealing or just plain unpalatable in texture, but in a particular recipe, shrimp tastes great.

Explore the issue

1. Read literature on a specific topic. Perhaps this is the most detailed way to investigate the issue. Read articles and studies on the Internet, as well as books from the library. The more you manage to read, the better you will understand the topic.

2. Consider sources when analyzing information. A reliable source is based on facts that affect all sides of the issue. Beware of copyright articles and materials in popular publications. They often have an ulterior motive and are written in a way that grabs the attention and interest of the reader rather than presenting factual data.

   • Study the opinions of recognized experts and professionals on this issue.
   • If you are collecting information about health care, be aware that the opinions of adherents will be one-sided. Such information may well be useful in understanding the reasons for such an opinion, but it is also recommended to consider views from the opposite camp.

3. Analyze the author's motives when considering information. If he is simply trying to convince the reader that his point of view is correct (or the only correct one), then do not give such material exceptional value. Try to find objective works with comprehensive consideration.

   • Even a one-sided article can present counterarguments against other points of view. In this case, the author at least took into account other views when forming his own opinion.
   • For example, you still don't know how to treat German Shepherds. An article by an author who also had an unpleasant experience is unlikely to help you form objective opinion if he is trying to convince readers of the dangers of such a breed (or dogs in general).

4. Listen to other discussions to get the opinion of passionate people. This is especially important in political matters such as supporting a particular party or program. Informed debaters not only state their arguments, but also prepare to parry the arguments of opponents in order to prove the preference for their views.

   • Skillful debaters are able to change your mind by offering a way of looking at the issue and supporting evidence that you have not considered before.
   • If you're a student of health law, then watch TV debates to hear different opinions.

5. Pay attention to (correct) details so you don't lose focus. Don't fall into the trap of trivia that doesn't really matter, or you risk missing the point. At the same time, certain details, such as the circumstances that led to certain event, will help you to establish your opinion.

   • In the German Shepherd story, details like the time of year or the weather don't really matter. It is much more important if the dog was fed food, and you tried to move the bowl away at that moment.

Keep an open mind

1. Ignore personal bias. Admitting bias is good, but ignoring it is even better. Don't let your bias stop you from learning new things. Each piece of information (be it an article or an interlocutor) must be perceived objectively, as if you are dealing with this topic for the first time.

   • Visit a dog shelter or visit the owners of a German Shepherd and act as if you are seeing such a dog for the first time. Be careful and try to find " mutual language» with a sheepdog.

2. Consider reasons why the person might have a different opinion. This is especially appropriate in sensitive issues and taboo topics. When considering a question, think about why a person might have certain views. Try to find 2-3 arguments in favor of this opinion, even if you do not share it.

   • If you do not support compulsory health insurance, then you should not automatically reject the arguments of the supporters of such a solution. Perhaps there were situations with them when they could not get needed help due to the lack of insurance and the required amount.
   • It should be understood that often such opinions arise only after a person has experienced a similar situation for himself. He may have held the opposite opinion in the past.
3. • A changed perspective may even show you in a favorable light, since you are ready to take into account all aspects of the issue.
• One of better ways form your own opinion - follow your intuition. You may not immediately understand the reason for a particular attitude to a particular topic, but if it was formed instinctively, then trust your intuition.
• Never put an end to a case if new evidence has emerged that contradicts your views. Keep exploring and see where it takes you.
• If you have carefully studied the issue and formed your own opinion, then you are ready to share your views with others at the right time and in the right place.

Warnings

• People tend to unshakably believe in own views if they have spent a lot of time and effort to study the issue. Always remain calm and respectfully express an opinion or listen to points of view that do not coincide with yours. This will help you avoid conflict situations.

The desire of a person to speak out is by no means new. This will be confirmed by visitors to the Athenian agora and the Roman Senate, as well as Mark Antony, whom Cicero publicly called a "public woman." But Cicero paid for his opinion with his life, and we now live in a unique time when freedom of speech and opinion, as a rule, does not even have consequences for health.

The Internet has especially tried, making it possible to express oneself on conditions of complete anonymity. If face to face with an opponent, we understand that we will have to answer for an opinion (and sometimes in literally face), then there is no need to filter words on the Web. The most educated add IMHO to their statement, forgetting that this acronym means “in my humble opinion” (eng. IMHO - in my humble opinion). As a result, modest in their opinion - absolutely nothing. Again, thanks to the Internet, a lot of sources of information have appeared, and now any person with an unfinished and not even started higher education, accidentally reading an article in a popular magazine, is able to feel like an expert in any field: from politics to Pre-Raphaelite painting.

However, the desire to put in your two cents on any occasion is explained by deeper reasons than the variety of platforms for speaking (forums, blogs, social networks, own kitchen, finally), impunity and easy access to information.

The trouble is that all these “But for some reason it seems to me” are not at all harmless

“The tendency to express an opinion with or without is formed in early childhood”, explains transactional analyst Margarita Kuznetsova. - Raising a child, parents comment on his behavior, without asking whether the child wants to hear it or not. Later, children, playing, begin to "educate" dolls or toy soldiers. But when the child gets older and tries to teach other children, he gets aggression in response. And over time, he understands in which situations it is appropriate to be a Parent in relation to the interlocutor (to explain, criticize, give advice), and in which it is not. True, not everyone understands this. Some ignore the opinions of others, and therefore cannot leave the position of the Parent.

You will be science

Influential last year Science Magazine Popular Science, the first issue of which appeared more than a hundred and forty years ago, officially announced that it was turning off comments on articles on the site. And although the editors politically correct assured that they welcome discussions, and the readers' comments are distinguished by depth and understanding of the issue, a desperate cry was still read between the lines: the number of peremptory home-grown experts simply rolled over.

It would seem that this is terrible? Well, a housewife from Arkansas wanted to speculate on the topic of genetic engineering, let the person speak out. But the trouble is that all these “but for some reason it seems to me” are not at all harmless.

A study conducted by the University of Wisconsin revealed that emotionally charged, categorical opinions can change the perception of the text.

To describe the activity of the readership on the Internet, the One Percent Rule is often used (89:10:1 - the ratio of passive readers to commentators and to the content creators themselves). But, as Popular Science reasoned, comments influence public opinion, which, in turn, shapes public policy. Namely, the people in the offices decide which research will receive grants for further work.

Gary Olson, as the dean of an American college, told the following story: “There is a lecture on philosophy for undergraduates. After twenty minutes of explaining the fundamentals of Foucault's philosophy, one of the students snorts derisively, “Well, that's just an opinion. I don't agree with him! The teacher tries to explain: twenty minutes is not enough for the assessment philosophy. The student does not give up: "Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and mine is that Foucault is wrong!"

Unfortunately, free speech advocates often forget that any Opinion must be preceded by Knowledge. And this the main problem the majority of those who like to speak.

Step into the role

There is a popular belief that the majority of "experts in the field of everything" are comrades with a whole bunch of complexes. And this is not far from the truth. Process-oriented psychotherapist Olga Podolskaya calls this effect “watchman syndrome”: “In this way, people try to compensate for their inferiority complex.” She offers to look at the problem from the point of view of the "Karpman triangle" - a socio-psychological model that describes problematic roles in relationships between people. According to the triangle, a person can act in one of three hypostases: Rescuer, Persecutor and Victim. Periodically switching from one to another. Most often, this "wheel of Samsara" begins with the role of the Rescuer: "Now I will tell you how to live right." And if the audience is not in a hurry to applaud, then the Rescuer turns into a Persecutor, ready to carry the good news, despite the aggression from the ungrateful public.

Twenty minutes is not enough to evaluate a philosophical teaching

What is it for? “Each role has a secondary (unconscious, implicit) benefit,” explains Olga Podolskaya. - This position makes it possible not to deal with their problems, but only to teach. Of course, if you have a drop of common sense, then you will object that this secondary benefit is somehow disadvantageous. But! Even a stopped clock shows twice a day right time. So a person with his unsolicited opinion sometimes manages not to provoke aggression, but to receive a polite “thank you”. This serves as a sufficient reason to continue not to take care of your life, but to continue to “save” those around you.” Such relationships are also beneficial for the victim, they give the opportunity to shift the blame for their failures on others.

Thank you bye

Many people think that along with the right to have an opinion, they automatically acquire the right to make others listen to it. And it's good if we are talking that pistachio ice cream tastes better than vanilla ice cream. Your position will be interesting even to the seller of cold treats. The rest can say: "Tastes differ," - and curtail the discussion. But what to do with the aunt at the bus stop, who is firmly convinced that you need to know her opinion about the dangers of slings for your child?

Psychologist-consultant Elena Mzhelskaya encourages us to see several levels in any opinion: form, emotional message and rational component. Your task is to learn not to splash out emotions, reacting to a form (peremptory tone) or an aggressive message (“You don’t know and don’t understand, so listen to me”). “You can say to yourself: “I am being provoked, but I need my energy more.” And on external level politely say, "Thank you for sharing your opinion." When you learn to conserve your energy, you will be able to recognize the rational part as well. harmful information- weed out, and useful - to take into account.

There are three main ways to express your opinion

• Passivity Such a person is afraid of conflicts, is not too confident in himself and considers his own opinion unimportant to others. He won't get into an argument. Indifference is a dangerous manifestation of passivity.
• assertiveness The golden mean is calm and benevolent confidence and free expression of opinion without prejudice to other people's interests. If backed by competence, it has no price at all.
• Aggressiveness The aggressor lives by the principle "you can't become famous for good deeds." He is distinguished by the desire to actively impose his point of view and without reason to humiliate and insult the interlocutor.